₦airaland Forum

The question I wan ask watin guys de gain from marriage.

Nyascobar1414:
Simp.. Payind a bride price for a woman that's not a virgin.

Simp peddler! You don still dish am out reach here abi? E come be like say almost anything/anyone na Simpletons for your eye. No time to even cut him some slack.

There is time for every thing on earth.it is not an easy thing for a woman to wait till 30 years. You never can tell,you might end up disappointed her. More over, who told you that if you marry her now,you would not do well in your busines?Are you God? Why dictating for God?Can you tell me what will happened in the next twenty four hours much less three years time? Don't be foolish seek God face through prayers if you're a Christian. May God help you.!

Just let her go, I repeat, let her go if she can not wait. Mark this quote and write down this date, if you marry her out of pressure you will regret it trust me. After marriage, the next pressure that will come is she wants to get pregnant and give birth. Then 2 to 3 years after childbirth the next pressure is the child starting school. Mind you, this pressure will last for at least the next 18 years, and the pressure multiply with the more children you have including other side pressures like families and inlaws. All these are certain except you want to be tagged as irresponsible. That's why you have to be ready before you enter. That's my 1 naira for you o

victooman:
Good day nairalanders,,
l met a beautiful and excellent girl during my Nysc, honestly she is everything l need in a woman,
We finish our service last year and started life in Abuja, she live with her sister and doing her own business while l live alone in the same town,, The problem now is that this girl mother is already pressurizing her for marriage,, she is 27 yrs and the mother is already making her looks like she is too old for marriage,, yesterday she came to my house looking all moody and worried,, when l enquired she told me her mom is asking her when the man she is dating will come home for introduction,, l took my time to explain things to her,we can't go into any marriage without been financially stable,l have a business l am running and l am looking at stability of that business in 3-4yrs time,,l told her l wont give you any specific date on when to come see her people ,,but l assured her if she stick with me God knows l wont think of any other woman during marriage,,, she told me her plan is to get married at 25yrs and l told her things dont always work out the way we plan them,, honestly l dont want to lose this girl and l also dont want to rush anything,, what do l do nairalanders...

My candid advise don't let anyone rush u or give u an authomatum. Love doesn't work that way.

2nd whole love is all sweet and good, marriage is more than just love its about Focus also. u have to focus on ur goals and what's important. Most people forget their individual goals and start thinking more of acting like married people, doing stuffs for inlaws, visiting inlaws or having them vist, Rushing to have babies within a year cos it's what their families expect and all the other pressures and distractions.

what am I trying to say? Don't "rush" and marry any gal who doesn't care about ur personal goals bt just her marriage Fantasy.

Don't rush and marry a gal that's not as driven or focused as u are cos she will slow u down and u may not recover.

Don't rush and marry a gal who can't go all out for u, in cash and kind.

Don't marry a gal that sits back and expects u to do everything.

Don't marry a gal that doesn't give u peace at home.

Now if ur gal is focused, goal oriented, equally and actively interested in ur personal goals, unselfish then rushing to marry her is always a plus.

80% of gals are selfish they are only thinking about themselves.

victooman:
bro l am not holding her o,,l only gave her a sound and reasonable advice,, leaving me is not an assurance she will get a man who will pay her bride price in 2- 3 months ,, if she leaves and the man she meets disapoint her the circle continues,, in 3- 4yrs she will be 31 or latest 32 and we will settle down and at least have something to fend for our self and the kids,, the "woman time" is a lie orchestrated by the society and nothing more. women in their 40s and fifties are given birth talk more of a girl in her 20s and 30s,,if she decides to go and gamble l will wish her well,, l am just bothered because l love this girl and she is a very good person,, so l am not holding her back..

At 31, you won't even agree to marry her again. Let the girl go biko

Do you know what waiting 3 to 4 years means for a lady? If you are serious, go meet her people first. Let them know you and try to get so close to them.

Then next year, fix the introduction and postpone it by 3 months few months to the date.

Fix your wedding date during the introduction and ensure it's 10 months later, but 2 months to the date (8th month after the intmonths.

Print your wedding card immediately you announced the postponement. It's the only way you can win their confidence.

Na so I take marry my Hausa wife. I wasn't ready to marry when I met her. I was too young and my people won't approve it.

But this tactics, bought me three years.

If you tell your woman to wait for 3 to 4 years, she will dump you when she get a sure option. I am sure she is already searching behind your back.

And where is the girl?ote

victooman:
Good day nairalanders,,
l met a beautiful and excellent girl during my Nysc, honestly she is everything l need in a woman,
We finish our service last year and started life in Abuja, she live with her sister and doing her own business while l live alone in the same town,, The problem now is that this girl mother is already pressurizing her for marriage,, she is 27 yrs and the mother is already making her looks like she is too old for marriage,, yesterday she came to my house looking all moody and worried,, when l enquired she told me her mom is asking her when the man she is dating will come home for introduction,, l took my time to explain things to her,we can't go into any marriage without been financially stable,l have a business l am running and l am looking at stability of that business in 3-4yrs time,,l told her l wont give you any specific date on when to come see her people ,,but l assured her if she stick with me God knows l wont think of any other woman during marriage,,, she told me her plan is to get married at 25yrs and l told her things dont always work out the way we plan them,, honestly l dont want to lose this girl and l also dont want to rush anything,, what do l do nairalanders...

Extratyre01:
Give am Belle.. Na sure odd be that, she go wait

Choke

victooman:
Who is holding her? so 27 means she is getting old? l am writing this from a more point of concern than what l stand to benefit,, she had exes before we met, if marriage is that easy why didn't any of them take the step? things can work out even in less than a year and l will do the needful,, telling her she can go is a clear sign l wasn't even in love at the first place,, so if she love me she will wait,, if she want to continue gambling l wish her well,,

You are beginning to sound like she's got no choice out there and you are only doing her a favor. You have stated your points, you don't have to respond to all comments.

That said, if on the converse, you are not where you project yourselves to be in 4 years time, what happens?

If she zips up until 4 years from now, will you remain faithful and committed to her?

I wish you both the very best in your decisions.

WatchYourSix:
The law should allow all these girls marry themselves in the registry so that they dont miss their planned date of getting married .....because me I dont understand how you will want to marry with another person's money and contribution, yet will be fixing the time by yourself as if the person doesnt have a say....

what does she mean by telling you she planned to marry by 25 as if you are slowing down her life and she could have done it one her own....

.look oga.. Women will always make it look like they are doing you a favour by being with you...its their classic way of getting what they want...
even sex...they will make it look like they dont want it and that they are just giving their body to you to help you..

She can even tell you she left many guys for you this year.....all na format....

Don't do anything under pressure...she will leave or cheat you if you can't cater for her .... She probably has little or nothing to contribute to the ceremony or marriage....its all on you...

So..if you are not ready...let her see reasons with love why you both should wait....if she refuses..oga let her go... women always have plan b these days...

You and your vawulence again

victooman:
Good day nairalanders,,
l met a beautiful and excellent girl during my Nysc, honestly she is everything l need in a woman,
We finish our service last year and started life in Abuja, she live with her sister and doing her own business while l live alone in the same town,, The problem now is that this girl mother is already pressurizing her for marriage,, she is 27 yrs and the mother is already making her looks like she is too old for marriage,, yesterday she came to my house looking all moody and worried,, when l enquired she told me her mom is asking her when the man she is dating will come home for introduction,, l took my time to explain things to her,we can't go into any marriage without been financially stable,l have a business l am running and l am looking at stability of that business in 3-4yrs time,,l told her l wont give you any specific date on when to come see her people ,,but l assured her if she stick with me God knows l wont think of any other woman during marriage,,, she told me her plan is to get married at 25yrs and l told her things dont always work out the way we plan them,, honestly l dont want to lose this girl and l also dont want to rush anything,, what do l do nairalanders...

Marry BRO because if you like you PLAN for 10yrs It's the same routine of work in different level

Let me add my 2 cents.
Ill tell you a personal story.
My older brother served in Benin and met his steady gf during his final months of NYSC. He stayed an additional year working in the city. He however informed the girl that he will be Japa. He broke off the relationship saying if you can wait for me to settle, wait . If you can't , you can't. 2 years being abroad, the lady's mum starts the pressure statics. He informs her, I am not ready yet.
Long story short, she gets married to the 1st person who asked her out - she got pregnant blah blah blah. She has 2 kids. The dude comes back from UK after 5 years, He is also in a relationship but comes back to visit his friends and parents solo. When they meet each other, she starts to cry uncontrollably. ( Na me be designated driver, so I know). She said she is sorry she didn't wait for him, as they begin to discuss about the past, you could see that she has regrets about the whole thing. And said in hindsight she would have waited. They kissed, pre-intimacy... that's when I said hmm hmm. ( they had forgotten i was there or they no send me )

I also have another experience of a dude who just left school, No work but the parents of the girl, liked the dude and saw potential in him. They preferred to give their daughter to someone who would treat their girl with respect, love and make her happy than someone whom they thought might not.
So they got married at the registry, they lived in her parents basement for 2 years while he found work and moved out into their first home. They have 3 kids who are out of the house - they are 18 and live on their own.

What am I trying to say - Not all ducks will line up in order for you to shoot. Some will form a diamond shape or single formation but do not be cajoled into doing something you are not ready to do. But, if you are still playing the field - then please let her go.

Listen to Worlds apart ( Separate Ways) - Journey - Classic

Marry her. Tell anybody who protests that Meobizy said you should. Mscheew. Dey there make idiots online give you advice on decision wey go affect you and you alone throughout life.

SPAMBOX7:
You and your vawulence again

As long as manipulative women are involved...peace is an option

Desusi:
There is time for every thing on earth.it is not an easy thing for a woman to wait till 30 years. You never can tell,you might end up disappointed her. More over, who told you that if you marry her now,you would not do well in your busines?Are you God? Why dictating for God?Can you tell me what will happened in the next twenty four hours much less three years time? Don't be foolish seek God face through prayers if you're a Christian. May God help you.!

Do you have an Idea how many ladies over 30 are out there and are undefiled. ?
Millions ! because they were focused on their careers and not so much a relationship. Why would a woman be so focused on I want to get married and not looking for work to contribute to the relationship.

She is 27yrs old, and wants to ' get married before she is 25'...?
That place no clear me

Candidlady:
What sorta advice is this fps

He ain't financially stable to get married and you want him to bring a child into this world


Na you go help am raise the pikin bah

Wicked gender

My advice is simple. Marry the woman. I have been in your shoes before. If you don't marry her you will regret in future good girls are hard to find.
Advice 2: since you are not financially stable, after marriage don't think or even plan for her to get pregnant within the first two years of the marriage. Do this and thank me later

victooman:
Good day nairalanders,,
l met a beautiful and excellent girl during my Nysc, honestly she is everything l need in a woman,
We finish our service last year and started life in Abuja, she live with her sister and doing her own business while l live alone in the same town,, The problem now is that this girl mother is already pressurizing her for marriage,, she is 27 yrs and the mother is already making her looks like she is too old for marriage,, yesterday she came to my house looking all moody and worried,, when l enquired she told me her mom is asking her when the man she is dating will come home for introduction,, l took my time to explain things to her,we can't go into any marriage without been financially stable,l have a business l am running and l am looking at stability of that business in 3-4yrs time,,l told her l wont give you any specific date on when to come see her people ,,but l assured her if she stick with me God knows l wont think of any other woman during marriage,,, she told me her plan is to get married at 25yrs and l told her things dont always work out the way we plan them,, honestly l dont want to lose this girl and l also dont want to rush anything,, what do l do nairalanders...

Guy if she is truly the one you love marry her then two of u can build ur empire together u met waif for 3 yrs time then u loose and still not make it by that time so wise up ...if na to just put money for her head first do am .

Never marry out of pity!

victooman:
Good day nairalanders,,
l met a beautiful and excellent girl during my Nysc, honestly she is everything l need in a woman,
We finish our service last year and started life in Abuja, she live with her sister and doing her own business while l live alone in the same town,, The problem now is that this girl mother is already pressurizing her for marriage,, she is 27 yrs and the mother is already making her looks like she is too old for marriage,, yesterday she came to my house looking all moody and worried,, when l enquired she told me her mom is asking her when the man she is dating will come home for introduction,, l took my time to explain things to her,we can't go into any marriage without been financially stable,l have a business l am running and l am looking at stability of that business in 3-4yrs time,,l told her l wont give you any specific date on when to come see her people ,,but l assured her if she stick with me God knows l wont think of any other woman during marriage,,, she told me her plan is to get married at 25yrs and l told her things dont always work out the way we plan them,, honestly l dont want to lose this girl and l also dont want to rush anything,, what do l do nairalanders...

Nigerian female should be avoided by all means

victooman:
bro the thing weak me,, all l am asking is for her to be patient,,

she has biological clock. She cannot wait. Make us your mind quickly

victooman:
Good day nairalanders,,
l met a beautiful and excellent girl during my Nysc, honestly she is everything l need in a woman,
We finish our service last year and started life in Abuja, she live with her sister and doing her own business while l live alone in the same town,, The problem now is that this girl mother is already pressurizing her for marriage,, she is 27 yrs and the mother is already making her looks like she is too old for marriage,, yesterday she came to my house looking all moody and worried,, when l enquired she told me her mom is asking her when the man she is dating will come home for introduction,, l took my time to explain things to her,we can't go into any marriage without been financially stable,l have a business l am running and l am looking at stability of that business in 3-4yrs time,,l told her l wont give you any specific date on when to come see her people ,,but l assured her if she stick with me God knows l wont think of any other woman during marriage,,, she told me her plan is to get married at 25yrs and l told her things dont always work out the way we plan them,, honestly l dont want to lose this girl and l also dont want to rush anything,, what do l do nairalanders...

First of all, I want to know where you both come from. This is to enable me understand the culture.

Secondly, if you really want to marry her and your mind is made up on marrying her, I'll advice you go see her people. Just take the first step of introduction, and any little thing you can do now.

Then you can pause and continue with your business. That way the marriage is established though not completed. You have now properly engaged her and the pressure from the mum will stop.

Also, I'll advice you go see her mum, that way she knows that her daughter is actually in a good relationship and that her getting married anytime soon is sure.

wait wai wait! you dey truly ask for advice here!

WatchYourSix:
The law should allow all these girls marry themselves in the registry so that they dont miss their planned date of getting married .....because me I dont understand how you will want to marry with another person's money and contribution, yet will be fixing the time by yourself as if the person doesnt have a say....

what does she mean by telling you she planned to marry by 25 as if you are slowing down her life and she could have done it one her own....

.look oga.. Women will always make it look like they are doing you a favour by being with you...its their classic way of getting what they want...
even sex...they will make it look like they dont want it and that they are just giving their body to you to help you..

She can even tell you she left many guys for you this year.....all na format....

Don't do anything under pressure...she will leave or cheat you if you can't cater for her .... She probably has little or nothing to contribute to the ceremony or marriage....its all on you...

So..if you are not ready...let her see reasons with love why you both should wait....if she refuses..oga let her go... women always have plan b these days...

guy no be dia fault
In 3 to 4 yrs she fit de struggle to born pikin
Then the man's mother will start asking for grandchildren
Gbam second wife don done
She loses
Can't blame them for rushing

victooman:
bro l am not holding her o,,l only gave her a sound and reasonable advice,, leaving me is not an assurance she will get a man who will pay her bride price in 2- 3 months ,, if she leaves and the man she meets disapoint her the circle continues,, in 3- 4yrs she will be 31 or latest 32 and we will settle down and at least have something to fend for our self and the kids,, the "woman time" is a lie orchestrated by the society and nothing more. women in their 40s and fifties are given birth talk more of a girl in her 20s and 30s,,if she decides to go and gamble l will wish her well,, l am just bothered because l love this girl and she is a very good person,, so l am not holding her back..

Oya go marry 40 yr old woman na see whether your business no go collapse ontop test tube baby

Woman's time is not a lie
It's biology
Which school you go sef?

If she is really (all that you wanted in a woman) GO AND DO THE INTRODUCTION bro. Secure and Satisfy her urge with an introduction.

victooman:
Good day nairalanders,,
l met a beautiful and excellent girl during my Nysc, honestly she is everything l need in a woman,
We finish our service last year and started life in Abuja, she live with her sister and doing her own business while l live alone in the same town,, The problem now is that this girl mother is already pressurizing her for marriage,, she is 27 yrs and the mother is already making her looks like she is too old for marriage,, yesterday she came to my house looking all moody and worried,, when l enquired she told me her mom is asking her when the man she is dating will come home for introduction,, l took my time to explain things to her,we can't go into any marriage without been financially stable,l have a business l am running and l am looking at stability of that business in 3-4yrs time,,l told her l wont give you any specific date on when to come see her people ,,but l assured her if she stick with me God knows l wont think of any other woman during marriage,,, she told me her plan is to get married at 25yrs and l told her things dont always work out the way we plan them,, honestly l dont want to lose this girl and l also dont want to rush anything,, what do l do nairalanders...

victooman:
Good day nairalanders,,
l met a beautiful and excellent girl during my Nysc, honestly she is everything l need in a woman,
We finish our service last year and started life in Abuja, she live with her sister and doing her own business while l live alone in the same town,, The problem now is that this girl mother is already pressurizing her for marriage,, she is 27 yrs and the mother is already making her looks like she is too old for marriage,, yesterday she came to my house looking all moody and worried,, when l enquired she told me her mom is asking her when the man she is dating will come home for introduction,, l took my time to explain things to her,we can't go into any marriage without been financially stable,l have a business l am running and l am looking at stability of that business in 3-4yrs time,,l told her l wont give you any specific date on when to come see her people ,,but l assured her if she stick with me God knows l wont think of any other woman during marriage,,, she told me her plan is to get married at 25yrs and l told her things dont always work out the way we plan them,, honestly l dont want to lose this girl and l also dont want to rush anything,, what do l do nairalanders...

Can you wait for the 3-4years you told her without having sex with her or any other lady? If the answer is No. Then you're simply being selfish keeping her any further if she's ready and you're not. I would advise you let her find an alternative best fit for her. Remember in three to four years she will be in her early thirties. Whatever your resolve, be warned that premarital sex is a one way ticket to hell.

Cromagnon:
guy no be dia fault
In 3 to 4 yrs she fit de struggle to born pikin
Then the man's mother will start asking for grandchildren
Gbam second wife don done
She loses
Can't blame them for rushing

The problem is not rushing....the problem is making the guy feel like he's the reason she didn't marry at 25...making him feel shes doimg him a favor by staying with him......

Person wey not get shi shi for ceremony and marriage dey demand when she wan marry... ok oooo....

Divay22:
You no dey tire sef....
You keep going from one thread to another talking about this, he get who dey pay you?
We've heard... Guys should marry virgin oya you goan marry your virgin and rest

Lol

Extratyre01:
Give am Belle.. Na sure odd be that, she go wait

Hahahhahahaha