..

zed7:

Low sex drive I guess. That's why we sometimes advocate for sex before marriage. You must know what you're getting into. Unfortunately, you're in it now. You guys should go see a therapist or you learn to live with it. I don't advocate for extra marital affairs, they usually don't end well.

I'm not really bothered about the sex infact I am used to it already... I just need at least 7 hrs of sleep everynight

godfrey02:



Bosss you try oh .. speak your mind to her and if she does not change after some period, make her jealous when it comes to that sex. Get yourself a steady clean babe that's ready to give you back to back.

I don't wanna cheat on her.

Militant1:
I will try to be brief and straight to the point.

My wife stays up late (11pm -12 am) every blessed day.... That's the problem.

We live in Lagos and have 2kids, 3yo and 8 months. My wife was working before but left the job when she gave birth. There is a job waiting for her when the baby is 1y6mnths, therefore she is a stay at home mom.

We live on the mainland but I work on the island so I live home as early as five. In our house we have all the amenities you can think of; 24 hrs light (NEPA plus inverter), running water, gas, 2 washing machines etc to make a home 95percent comfortable but my wife can't seem to cope and it started when we had one child.

She doesn't wash my clothes, my office shirts and suits are given to dry cleaner to arrange while my other laundry I do myself every weekend with the washing machine.

When I get home by 7pm or 8, that's when she now starts rushing to bath the kids and prepare dinner, so we eat by 9 or 10. Before the kids play play and play, by 11pm we are still awake. Sometimes I go to bed by midnight and have to wake up by 4am to go to work again. It's impacting on my health and my work. She will sleep by 12 am and wake up by 8 or 9am the following day.

I have tried to beg and appeal to her. If I eat out and come home to just sleep, she go dey vex. If I just come home shower and sleep the kids who have passed their bedtime will be playing and when madam is ready to sleep they won't agree to sleep. She will beat them, guess who they will come crying to- daddy that just started sleeping and has to wake by 4am, I will now pet and pet till 2am before kids sleep.. I have advised her that kids have a bedtime(8pm). When I man up and off the tv by 9pm and tell everyone to go to bed, she says I am disrespecting her. She reports me to her mum.

Worse still our sex life is horrible... We have sex like once in 2 month.. At 35 I am in my sex prime and can Bleep everyday but she doesn't seem to care about me because she is always tired am I pity her so I don't demand sex so much.

I fully understand stay at home is not easy and I help her when.

I tried to create a schedule for her.

Wake up by 6am
By 7 she suppose don clean finish
By 8 breakfast should be ready for her, kids
9-10am bath herself and the kids
10-12 do any other stuff in the house
12-3pm rest, watch movies, chill
3-5pm... Do whatever she likes
5pm boil water and bath the kids
6pm she don bathe and bath kids
7pm... Food don done... Everything dey freezer
8pm we eat
By 9 everyone goes to bed and we knack 1hr

I throw the trash every day
Na me dey go market buy foodstuff
On weekends I clean the house
I wash my all my clothes
I provide all the finance in the house
I satisfy her on the bed when we naka. She begs me that she's tired
I buy her gifts, drop 3k for her everyday
Why should we have a house help when she is a stat at home mum (for now)

So what's the problem..


Mothers, are my demands too much?
Mothers, please when do you close your kitchen and go to bed?
Are you still awake by 11pm every blessed day.
Am I crazy?

Please advice me.

I have begged her, pleaded, shouted, done everything. Sometimes I intentionally come home late (10-11pm) thinking that the kids have gone to bed but my first child will be watching cartoon.

Please advice me. I am going crazy, Lagos is stressful

can you tell us how she was before you had kids ?

did all start after having the 1 or 2nd child

i sense a bit of depression post natal or something

Militant1:
I will try to be brief and straight to the point.

My wife stays up late (11pm -12 am) every blessed day.... That's the problem.

We live in Lagos and have 2kids, 3yo and 8 months. My wife was working before but left the job when she gave birth. There is a job waiting for her when the baby is 1y6mnths, therefore she is a stay at home mom.

We live on the mainland but I work on the island so I live home as early as five. In our house we have all the amenities you can think of; 24 hrs light (NEPA plus inverter), running water, gas, 2 washing machines etc to make a home 95percent comfortable but my wife can't seem to cope and it started when we had one child.

She doesn't wash my clothes, my office shirts and suits are given to dry cleaner to arrange while my other laundry I do myself every weekend with the washing machine.

When I get home by 7pm or 8, that's when she now starts rushing to bath the kids and prepare dinner, so we eat by 9 or 10. Before the kids play play and play, by 11pm we are still awake. Sometimes I go to bed by midnight and have to wake up by 4am to go to work again. It's impacting on my health and my work. She will sleep by 12 am and wake up by 8 or 9am the following day.

I have tried to beg and appeal to her. If I eat out and come home to just sleep, she go dey vex. If I just come home shower and sleep the kids who have passed their bedtime will be playing and when madam is ready to sleep they won't agree to sleep. She will beat them, guess who they will come crying to- daddy that just started sleeping and has to wake by 4am, I will now pet and pet till 2am before kids sleep.. I have advised her that kids have a bedtime(8pm). When I man up and off the tv by 9pm and tell everyone to go to bed, she says I am disrespecting her. She reports me to her mum.

Worse still our sex life is horrible... We have sex like once in 2 month.. At 35 I am in my sex prime and can Bleep everyday but she doesn't seem to care about me because she is always tired am I pity her so I don't demand sex so much.

I fully understand stay at home is not easy and I help her when.

I tried to create a schedule for her.

Wake up by 6am
By 7 she suppose don clean finish
By 8 breakfast should be ready for her, kids
9-10am bath herself and the kids
10-12 do any other stuff in the house
12-3pm rest, watch movies, chill
3-5pm... Do whatever she likes
5pm boil water and bath the kids
6pm she don bathe and bath kids
7pm... Food don done... Everything dey freezer
8pm we eat
By 9 everyone goes to bed and we knack 1hr

I throw the trash every day
Na me dey go market buy foodstuff
On weekends I clean the house
I wash my all my clothes
I provide all the finance in the house
I satisfy her on the bed when we naka. She begs me that she's tired
I buy her gifts, drop 3k for her everyday
Why should we have a house help when she is a stat at home mum (for now)

So what's the problem..


Mothers, are my demands too much?
Mothers, please when do you close your kitchen and go to bed?
Are you still awake by 11pm every blessed day.
Am I crazy?

Please advice me.

I have begged her, pleaded, shouted, done everything. Sometimes I intentionally come home late (10-11pm) thinking that the kids have gone to bed but my first child will be watching cartoon.

Please advice me. I am going crazy, Lagos is stressful

You go just die untimely........

Funny enough those alive will survive and excel far more than you without you.


Wise person no dey feel fasting. End of quote

ZIMDRILL:
can you tell us how she was before you had kids ?
did all start after having the 1 or 2nd child
i sense a bit of depression post natal or something

Good that someone else is paying attention to other things too.

Blessedmercy8:
Hehehehhee... This op no serious. So all the activities in the schedule you created for her is all on her neck and hers to do. while your own is just to come and nack for one hour? Hahahahaha.. .. funny.

Maybe you think she's a robot that can consistently carry out those task everyday without any lapses.

Op, wehdon, Mr knacker.

What about his itinerary is too much? All she needs to do is cook for the kids and bathe them. Between 12 to 5 when the kids are still at school she's resting, watching movies, free to do anything she wants. He pays all the bills, gives her money, he does his own laundry. Yet he's asking for much? You no get sense

OP, you married a lazy woman

Helpout12345:


So, sex once in 2 months is okay for a married couple living under same roof? Wait until when you marry before you understand.

U say aunty marry? Aunty wey dun pass her menopause. Na ur uncle go marry her or u get any widower for her?

Neptunium:
What about his itinerary is too much? All she needs to do is cook for the kids and bathe them. Between 12 to 5 when the kids are still at school she's resting, watching movies, free to do anything she wants. He pays all the bills, gives her money, he does his own laundry. Yet he's asking for much? You no get sense

AND TO TELL U THAT THAT AUNTY NO GET SENSE, AUNTY WEY DUN OASS HER MENOPAUSE WHICH OTHER SENSE SHE FIT GET AGAIN. ALSO, FRUSTRATION OF NOT GETTING HUSBAND DEY WORRY HER TOO

Kobojunkie:
Good that someone else is paying attention to other things too.

There is alot information missing we need to know when he started to notice change, what events had happened and have a clue to might have triggered her to who she is now.

Every change in person is triggered by something or a reaction to something

That bloody TV show called zee world has made many a woman lazy and inattentive to her duties.


I can bet you a good sum that your wife is a zee world addict. That show seem to clear out most women's common sense.


Put a blocking pin on that channel leaving just access to the kiddies channels for a month and observe your wife get back on track.

ZIMDRILL:
There is alot information missing we need to know when he started to notice change, what events had happened and have a clue to might have triggered her to who she is now.

Every change in person is triggered by something or a reaction to something

My thoughts as well. From the much he has revealed, his wife may be struggling, and he not even be aware of it, given that he seems focused on what he would like to see happen instead.

Millitant1, your wife's problem may be more than just laziness, but we can't tell from what you have said so far.

Militant1:
I will try to be brief and straight to the point.

My wife stays up late (11pm -12 am) every blessed day.... That's the problem.

We live in Lagos and have 2kids, 3yo and 8 months. My wife was working before but left the job when she gave birth. There is a job waiting for her when the baby is 1y6mnths, therefore she is a stay at home mom.

We live on the mainland but I work on the island so I live home as early as five. In our house we have all the amenities you can think of; 24 hrs light (NEPA plus inverter), running water, gas, 2 washing machines etc to make a home 95percent comfortable but my wife can't seem to cope and it started when we had one child.

She doesn't wash my clothes, my office shirts and suits are given to dry cleaner to arrange while my other laundry I do myself every weekend with the washing machine.

When I get home by 7pm or 8, that's when she now starts rushing to bath the kids and prepare dinner, so we eat by 9 or 10. Before the kids play play and play, by 11pm we are still awake. Sometimes I go to bed by midnight and have to wake up by 4am to go to work again. It's impacting on my health and my work. She will sleep by 12 am and wake up by 8 or 9am the following day.

I have tried to beg and appeal to her. If I eat out and come home to just sleep, she go dey vex. If I just come home shower and sleep the kids who have passed their bedtime will be playing and when madam is ready to sleep they won't agree to sleep. She will beat them, guess who they will come crying to- daddy that just started sleeping and has to wake by 4am, I will now pet and pet till 2am before kids sleep.. I have advised her that kids have a bedtime(8pm). When I man up and off the tv by 9pm and tell everyone to go to bed, she says I am disrespecting her. She reports me to her mum.

Worse still our sex life is horrible... We have sex like once in 2 month.. At 35 I am in my sex prime and can Bleep everyday but she doesn't seem to care about me because she is always tired am I pity her so I don't demand sex so much.

I fully understand stay at home is not easy and I help her when.

I tried to create a schedule for her.

Wake up by 6am
By 7 she suppose don clean finish
By 8 breakfast should be ready for her, kids
9-10am bath herself and the kids
10-12 do any other stuff in the house
12-3pm rest, watch movies, chill
3-5pm... Do whatever she likes
5pm boil water and bath the kids
6pm she don bathe and bath kids
7pm... Food don done... Everything dey freezer
8pm we eat
By 9 everyone goes to bed and we knack 1hr

I throw the trash every day
Na me dey go market buy foodstuff
On weekends I clean the house
I wash my all my clothes
I provide all the finance in the house
I satisfy her on the bed when we naka. She begs me that she's tired
I buy her gifts, drop 3k for her everyday
Why should we have a house help when she is a stat at home mum (for now)

So what's the problem..


Mothers, are my demands too much?
Mothers, please when do you close your kitchen and go to bed?
Are you still awake by 11pm every blessed day.
Am I crazy?

Please advice me.

I have begged her, pleaded, shouted, done everything. Sometimes I intentionally come home late (10-11pm) thinking that the kids have gone to bed but my first child will be watching cartoon.

Please advice me. I am going crazy, Lagos is stressful

Una when dey beggy beggy woman upandan sannu. Withhold the luxury she is enjoying for a month or two, her head go format. Na see finish dey cause familiarity. Man up, stop begging her for anything, eat outside, get home and sleep, get side chick, ignore her for she doesn't care about yah. Cheers.

You are not a militant as you claim as per your moniker.

What that woman needs is a man that can call and maintain order and discipline.

You perform the duties of a leader but you don't lead. Counterintuitive right? If your woman doesn't respect your order your children will follow suit.

You have done all that needs to be done as a man and breadwinner except there are other things you didn't mention.

Leaders don't beg or try to reason with their followers, they are followers for a reason, a wife for a reason that looks up to her husband for guidance and order.

It will be difficult to restore and maintain order because she will shit test you and work you out of your frame. However, if you can maintain your authority and power, your family will take good shape.

Thanks.

Militant1:
I will try to be brief and straight to the point.

My wife stays up late (11pm -12 am) every blessed day.... That's the problem.

We live in Lagos and have 2kids, 3yo and 8 months. My wife was working before but left the job when she gave birth. There is a job waiting for her when the baby is 1y6mnths, therefore she is a stay at home mom.

We live on the mainland but I work on the island so I live home as early as five. In our house we have all the amenities you can think of; 24 hrs light (NEPA plus inverter), running water, gas, 2 washing machines etc to make a home 95percent comfortable but my wife can't seem to cope and it started when we had one child.

She doesn't wash my clothes, my office shirts and suits are given to dry cleaner to arrange while my other laundry I do myself every weekend with the washing machine.

When I get home by 7pm or 8, that's when she now starts rushing to bath the kids and prepare dinner, so we eat by 9 or 10. Before the kids play play and play, by 11pm we are still awake. Sometimes I go to bed by midnight and have to wake up by 4am to go to work again. It's impacting on my health and my work. She will sleep by 12 am and wake up by 8 or 9am the following day.

I have tried to beg and appeal to her. If I eat out and come home to just sleep, she go dey vex. If I just come home shower and sleep the kids who have passed their bedtime will be playing and when madam is ready to sleep they won't agree to sleep. She will beat them, guess who they will come crying to- daddy that just started sleeping and has to wake by 4am, I will now pet and pet till 2am before kids sleep.. I have advised her that kids have a bedtime(8pm). When I man up and off the tv by 9pm and tell everyone to go to bed, she says I am disrespecting her. She reports me to her mum.

Worse still our sex life is horrible... We have sex like once in 2 month.. At 35 I am in my sex prime and can Bleep everyday but she doesn't seem to care about me because she is always tired am I pity her so I don't demand sex so much.

I fully understand stay at home is not easy and I help her when.

I tried to create a schedule for her.

Wake up by 6am
By 7 she suppose don clean finish
By 8 breakfast should be ready for her, kids
9-10am bath herself and the kids
10-12 do any other stuff in the house
12-3pm rest, watch movies, chill
3-5pm... Do whatever she likes
5pm boil water and bath the kids
6pm she don bathe and bath kids
7pm... Food don done... Everything dey freezer
8pm we eat
By 9 everyone goes to bed and we knack 1hr

I throw the trash every day
Na me dey go market buy foodstuff
On weekends I clean the house
I wash my all my clothes
I provide all the finance in the house
I satisfy her on the bed when we naka. She begs me that she's tired
I buy her gifts, drop 3k for her everyday
Why should we have a house help when she is a stat at home mum (for now)

So what's the problem..


Mothers, are my demands too much?
Mothers, please when do you close your kitchen and go to bed?
Are you still awake by 11pm every blessed day.
Am I crazy?

Please advice me.

I have begged her, pleaded, shouted, done everything. Sometimes I intentionally come home late (10-11pm) thinking that the kids have gone to bed but my first child will be watching cartoon.

Please advice me. I am going crazy, Lagos is stressful

You married a girl and you are yet to form her into a woman. Her parents obviously didn't do their job and now she is your liability. Now you have two options. The first option is brief but the second option is not. First, you can send her back to her father's house so that the parents can finish up the home training they didn't give her. Simpu. Second, you must ready yourself to train your wife and teach her the manners she didnt learn. Stop eating her food and start eating out. Two, if you have a personal room change the locks and keep it to yourself. Anytime you are tired and need to rest go to that room. Install soundproof doors and windows in that room. Maintain a routine that is suitable for your health. Stop reacting to her shenanigans. If she misbehaves just ignore her. Maintain the aforementioned for some days to stabilise your health. Next when you wake up, wake your wife up as well. Get a loud alarm that is as loud as a siren and set it to the appropriate time. When you wake every other person must wake. Give her an timetable concerning when she is expected to cook and take care of the house. If she rebels cutoff your funding and employ a cook to cook your meals alone (if you don't want to eat out)...if she rebels even more then report her to her parents. If she rebels even more report her to her pastor or respected persons and if she rebels still, o boy, run ohhh na die you dey ohhh!

She sounds like she’s not a morning person. She probably hasn’t discovered the routine that works best for her. Being a night person can be tough when you have kids that you need to get ready and get to school in the morning. I personally don’t wake up before 10:00am unless I have to. And when I do, I resent it but I do it because I have to. I struggle with that but I can stay up all night doing things about the house. The 9-5 schedule doesn’t work for everyone. That might be the case with her (maybe).

Militant1:



I'm not really bothered about the sex infact I am used to it already... I just need at least 7 hrs of sleep everynight

the same 7 hrs sleep or rest is
the same your wife needs. Being a mother at home is also a job and its something you can not take a day off from.

If your couldnt cope with only one child why did you went head with 2nd without finding solution to her not coping with one child ?

i am but i have seen how tiresome kids can be and this on top of other duties the wife has to do. Post natal depression is much very common in the west becoz its each man for himself. In africa its there but nor much noticed becoz of two things 1 cheap labour you can have a maid 2 there is always a distant relative or someone coming to help so depression it not really picked

Our women alson need few hours of break and help

Your wife is showing signs of despression, look at this, with your work after 8hrs you go home and rest whereas your wife cant take break from being a parent its 24/7 job on top of that she has to meet your needs

Sitdown with your woman ask
her whats wrong, ask what is overwhelming her

Militant1:
I will try to be brief and straight to the point.

My wife stays up late (11pm -12 am) every blessed day.... That's the problem.

We live in Lagos and have 2kids, 3yo and 8 months. My wife was working before but left the job when she gave birth. There is a job waiting for her when the baby is 1y6mnths, therefore she is a stay at home mom.

We live on the mainland but I work on the island so I live home as early as five. In our house we have all the amenities you can think of; 24 hrs light (NEPA plus inverter), running water, gas, 2 washing machines etc to make a home 95percent comfortable but my wife can't seem to cope and it started when we had one child.

She doesn't wash my clothes, my office shirts and suits are given to dry cleaner to arrange while my other laundry I do myself every weekend with the washing machine.

When I get home by 7pm or 8, that's when she now starts rushing to bath the kids and prepare dinner, so we eat by 9 or 10. Before the kids play play and play, by 11pm we are still awake. Sometimes I go to bed by midnight and have to wake up by 4am to go to work again. It's impacting on my health and my work. She will sleep by 12 am and wake up by 8 or 9am the following day.

I have tried to beg and appeal to her. If I eat out and come home to just sleep, she go dey vex. If I just come home shower and sleep the kids who have passed their bedtime will be playing and when madam is ready to sleep they won't agree to sleep. She will beat them, guess who they will come crying to- daddy that just started sleeping and has to wake by 4am, I will now pet and pet till 2am before kids sleep.. I have advised her that kids have a bedtime(8pm). When I man up and off the tv by 9pm and tell everyone to go to bed, she says I am disrespecting her. She reports me to her mum.

Worse still our sex life is horrible... We have sex like once in 2 month.. At 35 I am in my sex prime and can Bleep everyday but she doesn't seem to care about me because she is always tired am I pity her so I don't demand sex so much.

I fully understand stay at home is not easy and I help her when.

I tried to create a schedule for her.

Wake up by 6am
By 7 she suppose don clean finish
By 8 breakfast should be ready for her, kids
9-10am bath herself and the kids
10-12 do any other stuff in the house
12-3pm rest, watch movies, chill
3-5pm... Do whatever she likes
5pm boil water and bath the kids
6pm she don bathe and bath kids
7pm... Food don done... Everything dey freezer
8pm we eat
By 9 everyone goes to bed and we knack 1hr

I throw the trash every day
Na me dey go market buy foodstuff
On weekends I clean the house
I wash my all my clothes
I provide all the finance in the house
I satisfy her on the bed when we naka. She begs me that she's tired
I buy her gifts, drop 3k for her everyday
Why should we have a house help when she is a stat at home mum (for now)

So what's the problem..


Mothers, are my demands too much?
Mothers, please when do you close your kitchen and go to bed?
Are you still awake by 11pm every blessed day.
Am I crazy?

Please advice me.

I have begged her, pleaded, shouted, done everything. Sometimes I intentionally come home late (10-11pm) thinking that the kids have gone to bed but my first child will be watching cartoon.

Please advice me. I am going crazy, Lagos is stressful

Marry a slave bro. Not a wife... She wasn't made to serve you. Get a help or share in the chores. Don't make that woman older than her age. You absolutely don't understand.
I be man like you, but that schedule you just drew for her made me sick. That's slavery.
I wish you the best bro

BusinessPlan22:


Marry a slave bro. Not a wife... She wasn't made to serve you. Get a help or share in the chores. Don't make that woman older than her age. You absolutely don't understand.
I be man like you, but that schedule you just drew for her made me sick. That's slavery.
I wish you the best bro

It’s actually not a bad schedule if it works for the person who applies it. I mean from 12noon-5pm she’s basically doing her own stuff (resting, movies, whatever she likes). That would be nice if attainable .

However it’s a bit unrealistic from a parent point of view. Nobody who has a toddler has 5 hours of absolutely free time in a day unless someone else is handling the child care. Not to mention he allocated one hour cooking. Realistically it takes more time than that to make stuff from scratch.

Una wey the advice this boy. Una get sense at all? Hin know say the woman useless since the time wey dem dey date but him still marry her.
Mok una leave him marriage foram abeg. Na waitin hin want na.


Op, no help is coming your way. The frustration just started. Wait till that woman clocks 50. You will regret coming to this life.

Militant1:






I don't wanna cheat on her.

Exactly, you don't have to. What is wrong with some people sef? Get clean babe. Nonsense

emmanuelbrown26:

AND TO TELL U THAT THAT AUNTY NO GET SENSE, AUNTY WEY DUN OASS HER MENOPAUSE WHICH OTHER SENSE SHE FIT GET AGAIN. ALSO, FRUSTRATION OF NOT GETTING HUSBAND DEY WORRY HER TOO

Don't mind the rubbish wey that one dey talk. The wife has it very easy. What about single mothers with 5 kids holding it down by themselves? This one get 2 kids, caring husband wey provide everything for house, wey wash his own clothes, wey come home no food to eat, wey get sex once in two months, and one yeye somebody dey talk say her activities are too much. What activities? From 12 to 5 she's free doing nothing other than watching movies, chill. By 7 or 8pm the kids are back home yet haven't eaten or bathed. OP comes home no food to eat. What is she doing from 12 to 8? Watching BB Naija reruns or wetin?

Meeeen you dey try, but try harder to make her understand that she is not getting it right, the fact is that there sre no more wives. Yes wives don finish teetee

You can get a house help for her, buy a washing machine to wash her clothes

And you can have a side chick for the nacking part.

Because from what I see here, she can't cope with that level of stress during the day and still give you to.to at night.

She is definitely not as strong as you are in strength and you might end up killing her with work or sex.

I don't know if you can look outside or outsource for people. Your family definitely needs help.

But ensure you get it from the right people

What you married is a lazy wife... Forget it. She might even be getting fvcked when you're off to work by the neighbors

Putting mouth in husband and wife matter is not good. Using divorce cases as an example, you will find out that both parties usually come up with absurd stories just to make the other person look bad. From this post, it seems the man is an angel and doesn't do anything that annoys he's wife? They should sort themselves out.

Guy, your check your BP. You are the achitect of your problem, from experience you do not make a woman comfortable and expect the best from them. They function better when they see competition real or imaginary. Take charge of your life. Cut robe if u have to. She doest see the danger of what she is doing now untill she changes. Disconnect inverter when u are not around, eat out make she vex, in her vexing make her understand you cant eat late. Get a room to yourself lock it when its time to sleep. Hard measures but I tell you we are better off now and peacefull.

Militant1:
I will try to be brief and straight to the point.

My wife stays up late (11pm -12 am) every blessed day.... That's the problem.

We live in Lagos and have 2kids, 3yo and 8 months. My wife was working before but left the job when she gave birth. There is a job waiting for her when the baby is 1y6mnths, therefore she is a stay at home mom.

We live on the mainland but I work on the island so I live home as early as five. In our house we have all the amenities you can think of; 24 hrs light (NEPA plus inverter), running water, gas, 2 washing machines etc to make a home 95percent comfortable but my wife can't seem to cope and it started when we had one child.

She doesn't wash my clothes, my office shirts and suits are given to dry cleaner to arrange while my other laundry I do myself every weekend with the washing machine.

When I get home by 7pm or 8, that's when she now starts rushing to bath the kids and prepare dinner, so we eat by 9 or 10. Before the kids play play and play, by 11pm we are still awake. Sometimes I go to bed by midnight and have to wake up by 4am to go to work again. It's impacting on my health and my work. She will sleep by 12 am and wake up by 8 or 9am the following day.

I have tried to beg and appeal to her. If I eat out and come home to just sleep, she go dey vex. If I just come home shower and sleep the kids who have passed their bedtime will be playing and when madam is ready to sleep they won't agree to sleep. She will beat them, guess who they will come crying to- daddy that just started sleeping and has to wake by 4am, I will now pet and pet till 2am before kids sleep.. I have advised her that kids have a bedtime(8pm). When I man up and off the tv by 9pm and tell everyone to go to bed, she says I am disrespecting her. She reports me to her mum.

Worse still our sex life is horrible... We have sex like once in 2 month.. At 35 I am in my sex prime and can Bleep everyday but she doesn't seem to care about me because she is always tired am I pity her so I don't demand sex so much.

I fully understand stay at home is not easy and I help her when.

I tried to create a schedule for her.

Wake up by 6am
By 7 she suppose don clean finish
By 8 breakfast should be ready for her, kids
9-10am bath herself and the kids
10-12 do any other stuff in the house
12-3pm rest, watch movies, chill
3-5pm... Do whatever she likes
5pm boil water and bath the kids
6pm she don bathe and bath kids
7pm... Food don done... Everything dey freezer
8pm we eat
By 9 everyone goes to bed and we knack 1hr

I throw the trash every day
Na me dey go market buy foodstuff
On weekends I clean the house
I wash my all my clothes
I provide all the finance in the house
I satisfy her on the bed when we naka. She begs me that she's tired
I buy her gifts, drop 3k for her everyday
Why should we have a house help when she is a stat at home mum (for now)

So what's the problem..


Mothers, are my demands too much?
Mothers, please when do you close your kitchen and go to bed?
Are you still awake by 11pm every blessed day.
Am I crazy?

Please advice me.

I have begged her, pleaded, shouted, done everything. Sometimes I intentionally come home late (10-11pm) thinking that the kids have gone to bed but my first child will be watching cartoon.

Please advice me. I am going crazy, Lagos is stressful

cococandy:


It’s actually not a bad schedule if it works for the person who applies it. I mean from 12noon-5pm she’s basically doing her own stuff (resting, movies, whatever she likes). That would be nice if attainable .

However it’s a bit unrealistic from a parent point of view. Nobody who has a toddler has 5 hours of absolutely free time in a day unless someone else is handling the child care. Not to mention he allocated one hour cooking. Realistically it takes more time than that to make stuff from scratch

Thank you, very unrealistic.