₦airaland Forum

manofeverything:
You are a very wise woman.
People should learn to mind their business. And let this be a lesson to ppl who open up their homes to secret haters who will rally to bring dysfunction to them & this is coming from a man who is a first son and has seen both nuclear & extended family for the hateful snakes they are.

In this mad world, your home is your safe space. Ppl on the streets carry so much pain and hold it in till they get home, then those that cry cry, those that drink drink & those that transfer aggression transfer it. Your home is the only place your inner man feels free. It is a sacred duty to make it your safe space. No matter what this world does to me, my home will be peaceful & full of light.

I still remember how many ppl said I was doing too much to fly my own woman to texas to have our kids with my own money. Because her family doesn’t have money like that, if not me who dash her america? My immediate younger brother was soooooo pissed when he found out she’ll be flying business class not economy. A heavily pregnant woman o. With swollen feet & body pains traveling to america alone and I should squeeze her and my child into economy. If something happens now, they’ll tell me sorry but secretly be happy. THUNDER!

Ppl dont see value in what doesn’t concern them. To them, that money I for share am. My children are not investments in their opinion. They think ppl’s life is their entertainment ground, that’s why they love instablog so much. Now they’re worrying about the future of Nigeria and all my kids are immune to the rubbish.

However this man’s brother’s home is, it’s probably peaceful. Ppl never complain of miserable wives. And most men do not understand the badluck a bitter woman brings. Running helter-skelter, always disorganized with a router in their house that gives off negative energy instead of wifi that they call a wife. Always squeezing face like shtt and they want everyone to be like them.

Then they’ll say you’re simping while praying for your demise so they can show your children hell but God pass them. Topics like this are just irritating. Sending good vibes to the brother. I hope he’s man enough to protect the peace of his home. Whatever works for a couple works for them. I’m sure the OP doesn’t even have a woman that is grateful for him & trying to scatter his brother’s well-planned life. It is well.

My dear, every marriage and every couple is different.

I know of one of my Daddies in his 50s, his wife doesn't know the cost of anything or what the market looks like cause she hates going to the market.

Till today, na daddy dey go market once a month to buy all they need even to blending pepper, tomatoes and tatashe in the market. Meat, fish, etc.

My own husband nko, if I ask him to go to the market for me, he will tell me "let's outsource the market runs" cause he hates going to the market. He'd rather drive me there, wait on the car till I'm done.

I no dey put mouth for married couple life o.

Nobody should insult me o. Otherwise may your children and their children have troubles.

What exactly is wrong in this errand?

Anyone can send anyone on an errand in my opinion. It doesn’t make you superior or inferior to them.

Husbands please take care of your wives.

seanwilliam:
shut up your dirty mouth. That you’re married to my brother doesn’t give you the temerity to treat him anyhow and throw caution out of window. we’re related by blood and I’m closer to him than you are. ‘no matter the bonds you share with him, you’re still an outsider. If something bad happens to him you can deny him and go your way but someone like me won’t do that !. If that’s how you treat your own husband all in the name of love , fine! But it won’t work with me.
This is Africa. No come Dey form americana for someone like me, I go over embarrass u.

I will put mouth instantly and if my brother is not ok with that then I will shut up by mouth and will never visit them again!.

Mind you, I don’t visit anyone except I’m invited and I rarely honor invitation self. Not all in laws are jobless like yours!


As regards to widow, I have no business poke-nosing in that regards. She’ll be the one to handle her husband’s stuff in order to take care of their children and I will do what I’m supposed to do to support them. Also par-adventure they never had kids together until his demise, then we will have to follow his wills and order.




He’s your husband but he’s my brother first .

What a foolish foolish statement!!!
Abeg o. I suppose do thanksgiving for dodging this kain men and inlaws wey dey reason like this

StilmaVsBorn2w:
This is so embarrassing to say, I would never advise a man to be so sluggish in life. It pains my heart having to experience this several times but since he is an elderly bro that senior me very far I can't put my mouth in his family affair because of this.

I went to visit my brother yesterday, was surprised while we were seated in the parlour... the wife told her husband to go check if the woman selling provision is back.

This wasn't the first time, my brother stood up and went.. I was looking at her the whole time, she was looking at me. The anger was so deep but there is nothing I can do.

They are different instances I can give but no need for that...All I just want to say it's not good to be that calm type of guy.

This is not about being the bread winner of the house, my elder brother is doing very well for himself so is his wife.

As a man, it's just not good to be quite always or be quiet all the time.. gentlemanly. I just don't know how to say it.

Guys what do you think?

When I say listen to Ubunja Una no gree
Thegridredpiller Una no gree

U see am now...bro Ur brother is gone.
The task now is how such won't become Ur gate as well.

See those two above look for there write ups ...save am, never share it with anyone
It will save and safe Ur life

Are u sure they are not on a game that his Wife always win?
Some sort of Errand games you know
Marriage can be anything if you look at it from your own angle OP.....

StilmaVsBorn2w:
This is so embarrassing to say, I would never advise a man to be so sluggish in life. It pains my heart having to experience this several times but since he is an elderly bro that senior me very far I can't put my mouth in his family affair because of this.

I went to visit my brother yesterday, was surprised while we were seated in the parlour... the wife told her husband to go check if the woman selling provision is back.

This wasn't the first time, my brother stood up and went.. I was looking at her the whole time, she was looking at me. The anger was so deep but there is nothing I can do.

They are different instances I can give but no need for that...All I just want to say it's not good to be that calm type of guy.

This is not about being the bread winner of the house, my elder brother is doing very well for himself so is his wife.

As a man, it's just not good to be quite always or be quiet all the time.. gentlemanly. I just don't know how to say it.

Guys what do you think?

This matter get belly. No matter what we think. Talk to your brother and tell him you POV. If your brother isn't loosing any sleep then neither should you.

madridguy:
As if you will be cool seeing your son roaming about for a woman.

Trust and believe women will always support nonsense as long as it doesn’t affect them directly. This is a typical example

Romanoff:
Stay out of their business. If your brother ever complains to you that his wife treats him badly and he's not happy, then you can give him advice.

If not, stay out of married people's business.

As long as she's not disrespectful to the man, stay out of their business.


Them go soon settle their issue turn am for your head.

If this were to be your elder brother whom you love so much would this still be your reply?

StilmaVsBorn2w:
This is so embarrassing to say, I would never advise a man to be so sluggish in life. It pains my heart having to experience this several times but since he is an elderly bro that senior me very far I can't put my mouth in his family affair because of this.

I went to visit my brother yesterday, was surprised while we were seated in the parlour... the wife told her husband to go check if the woman selling provision is back.

This wasn't the first time, my brother stood up and went.. I was looking at her the whole time, she was looking at me. The anger was so deep but there is nothing I can do.

They are different instances I can give but no need for that...All I just want to say it's not good to be that calm type of guy.

This is not about being the bread winner of the house, my elder brother is doing very well for himself so is his wife.

As a man, it's just not good to be quite always or be quiet all the time.. gentlemanly. I just don't know how to say it.

Guys what do you think?

Did your elder brother complain to you. Allow two adults to live their life the way it is suitable for them . Find your own husband and two of you should do what suits you. Marriage only works when the two do what suits both without one feeling cheated not what the society says or feels each should do

RightToReject:
Most of you've got a poor/absurd concept of respect. Even if your brother is the sole breadwinner in their union, I don't see how a wife sending her husband on a just errand (a wife expecting/reminding her husband to be diligent) amounts to disrespect to him.

Like in this scenario here, telling him to go and check whether the woman that sells provisions is back showed that there was a pre-existing arrangement between the husband and the provisions seller. So, I wonder how she erred by reminding her husband to strive to bring the arrangement to fruition. And don't tell me that you had expected her not to send such a request to her husband because of your presence, citing that you're a brother-in-law and obviously wasn't having some kind of formal deliberation with him.

Eschew needless pride.

Even as woke as the am Americans and others her, they still recognize that certain situations need certain etiquette and mannerism.

Romanoff:
Stay out of their business. If your brother ever complains to you that his wife treats him badly and he's not happy, then you can give him advice.

If not, stay out of married people's business.

As long as she's not disrespectful to the man, stay out of their business.


Them go soon settle their issue turn am for your head.

If I say thunder fire you now,you go say j insult u. Is sending the man errand not disrespectful? Imagine, where his sibling was,she was sending him errand. He go dey wash menstral pant ,wash plates for the woman be that na..

frozen70:
Your brother is not complaining

If he can't see anything wrong with that

Then let them be before his wife will start having family problems with you and yours

Mind your business

Sometimes, it is the intervention of a 3rd party that brings liberation. I won't be happy seeing my brother in that situation.
Again, Wheather it works for them or not, she shouldn't have sent him in the presence of his younger brother.

What has been seen cannot be unseen.

StilmaVsBorn2w:
This is so embarrassing to say, I would never advise a man to be so sluggish in life. It pains my heart having to experience this several times but since he is an elderly bro that senior me very far I can't put my mouth in his family affair because of this.

I went to visit my brother yesterday, was surprised while we were seated in the parlour... the wife told her husband to go check if the woman selling provision is back.

This wasn't the first time, my brother stood up and went.. I was looking at her the whole time, she was looking at me. The anger was so deep but there is nothing I can do.

They are different instances I can give but no need for that...All I just want to say it's not good to be that calm type of guy.

This is not about being the bread winner of the house, my elder brother is doing very well for himself so is his wife.

As a man, it's just not good to be quite always or be quiet all the time.. gentlemanly. I just don't know how to say it.

Guys what do you think?

Eiyaaahh dem done use toto water cook for your brother This is why every man needs to fortify himself spiritually before delving into pussy matters

And seeing as he's your big bro, that woman prolly thinks you're under her power too, hence she did it blatantly in front of you to make you aware of her power.

There's nothing wrong with asking your husband to help you out with stuff. That's the whole essence of marriage. I would only be concerned if her tone was disrespectful. Now, if you have a problem with a disrespectful manner of approach being adopted when sending errands, remember that what is good for the goose is good for the gander and apply same when speaking to your wife in future.

Ikpongiton:
you and Romanoff are the same.you are only living with wives and not husband.

Romanoff:
Stay out of their business. If your brother ever complains to you that his wife treats him badly and he's not happy, then you can give him advice.

If not, stay out of married people's business.

As long as she's not disrespectful to the man, stay out of


Them go soon settle their issue turn am for your head.

He inadvertently told you that his brother's wife is disrespectful to him,you are there still saying as long as she's not disrespectful. How else do you want her to be disrespectful?

Gloriagee:
There's nothing wrong with asking your husband to help you out with stuff. That's the whole essence of marriage. I would only be concerned if her tone was disrespectful. Now, if you have a problem with a disrespectful manner of approach being adopted when sending errands, remember that what is good for the goose is good for the gander and apply same when speaking to your wife in future.

I even added that as long as she's not disrespectful to the husband but to these men, it's an abomination for a woman to send her husband on her errand.

The Umunna must hear it.

BigYash:
If I say thunder fire you now,you go say j insult u. Is sending the man errand not disrespectful? Imagine, where his sibling was,she was sending him errand. He go dey wash menstral pant ,wash plates for the woman be that na..

Thunder fire your entire generation and the clowns wey born you.

So na only woman them dey send on errand.

Your wife no fit call you te you make you buy bread as you dey come.

I say thunder fire the clowns that raised you.

AlphaAlex:
Trust and believe women will always support nonsense as long as it doesn’t affect them directly. This is a typical example

Don't mind all those witches

Half of them never marry, the others dey practice slave trade say na marriage....

Romanoff:
I even added that as long as she's not disrespectful to the husband but to these men, it's an abomination for a woman to send her husband on her errand.

The Umunna must hear it.

Harddiskng:
If this were to be your elder brother whom you love so much would this still be your reply?

Yes. If you go through my replies, you'd understand why I stand by my words to stay out of married people's business.

Before my brother got married and we were all loving together, there was nothing that could make him do chores cause according to him, he has sisters to do it.

Guess what, my sisters found him washing toilet in his house after he got married. They were shocked to see it.

They came home and gisted us.

Was I spos to tie wrapper and carry guns and bazooka to his house to tell his wife not to ever try it?

Is it not what works for his household?

Why I go leave my own house, dey poke nose for another person marriage.

As long as she wasn't disrespectful in her tone, a wife can send her husband.

Call am on him way from work tell am make e buy bread or plantain as e dey come back.

Gloriagee:
Half of them never marry, the others dey practice slave trade say na marriage....

Na why many of them dey find women wey dey ten years younger than them so them fit turn her to house geh.

I will use my home as an instance,
I got a wife who's ova a decade older than me. Bt so far so good, I've got to say that she handles me more highly, respectful than my age grades I dated back in the days. Nearly �

I've caught myself most times disrespecting her, of which wen my conscience pricks me, I apologize aftwards.

The laundry, kitchen, domestic errands, household chores(perceived as feminine in African setting) ,...... She grew up naturally to find them her obligation & doesn't grumble if u fold ur arms & watch.

I focus my energy on the major aspects : provision & protection (whc of course are masculine)

If she needs my support in any case, she ask maturely, respectfully (whether in private or public) we assist each oda.

The African culture place a high Primium on VALUE of the Man, hence some acts, attitude, disposition of the women who are now 'westernized' is seen as a spit on manhood.

Leave them alone,...... As long as there's no domestic violence. They align with each other, that's cool.

Na today. Once shes's exposed she'll do the most worst.

Romanoff:
Na why many of them dey find women wey dey ten years younger than them so them fit turn her to house geh.

Gloriagee:
Na today. Once shes's exposed she'll do the most worst.

Some no dey fit talk o.

Chai dem use simp water bath the elder one immediately dem born am. The worse part is that the simp will even change am 4 u, if you tell him about your observation.

manofeverything:
Gbam! He’s just a silly guy who wants to play third party in a marriage. How can you be offended on behalf of someone who is not even offended?

How can you go to a man’s house & tell him what to do with his woman & his home? You’re a fvcking guest. Know your place. Now ppl are asking about their finance & disrespecting his brother’s name & home.

This thread pissed me off cos I have had to tackle lots of snakes like these. Right now, none of them have a better life than me. I have settled quarrel they brought to me for them & their wives. Not once have I aired myself out to them. And I’m supposed to be learning from them. Always begging for shht yet trying to tell you to live like them.

They’ll work so hard to be like you but will never emulate your methods. Wanna be Neds but cant impress a Regina. They will never see how those who get what they want treat situations and ppl they’re stuck with for ideal results. Zero planning, Zero acknowledgment of the ego of others, Zero diplomacy.

They will just be moving mad & surprised others get better results. Then they’ll come to you like snakes to eve to whisper their superior ideas that has yielded unfortunate results and pray you’re stupid enough to bite.

Then when they lash out, they’ll tell you you’re not God as if you ever said you were. All they wish for is a flaw they can say they found in your life & if you let them, they’ll keep picking at that spot till they draw blood. Let me go and sit down abeg.

Some don't even know what it means to be responsive for a woman let alone live with your wife. Have they lived with a pregnancy wife with all theoeming sickness and drama? Or have your wife sick and be responsible for her? Anytime my wife is ill or weak and needs my help I do literally everything. Moreover she has never been disrespectful or asked anything without being polite or saying please. Wetin concern anybody? It is MY woman. Not everything in life is about forming machismo

Romanoff:
Stay out of their business. If your brother ever complains to you that his wife treats him badly and he's not happy, then you can give him advice.

If not, stay out of married people's business.

As long as she's not disrespectful to the man, stay out of their business.


Them go soon settle their issue turn am for your head.

Mugu.. I pray your sons turn slaves and errand boys to their wives..

StilmaVsBorn2w:
This is so embarrassing to say, I would never advise a man to be so sluggish in life. It pains my heart having to experience this several times but since he is an elderly bro that senior me very far I can't put my mouth in his family affair because of this.

I went to visit my brother yesterday, was surprised while we were seated in the parlour... the wife told her husband to go check if the woman selling provision is back.

This wasn't the first time, my brother stood up and went.. I was looking at her the whole time, she was looking at me. The anger was so deep but there is nothing I can do.

They are different instances I can give but no need for that...All I just want to say it's not good to be that calm type of guy.

This is not about being the bread winner of the house, my elder brother is doing very well for himself so is his wife.

As a man, it's just not good to be quite always or be quiet all the time.. gentlemanly. I just don't know how to say it.

Guys what do you think?

Since your brother didn’t complain to you, How about you just MIND YOUR BUSINESS?

trojanjay:
Nobody should insult me o. Otherwise may your children and their children have troubles.

What exactly is wrong in this errand?

Anyone can send anyone on an errand in my opinion. It doesn’t make you superior or inferior to them.

Husbands please take care of your wives.

what is wrong is not the "errand" buh the mind your business people are not extending to family & westernization people bring into it,

i am staunch fan of, pe mii loruko ko fa mii ni irugbon shameless men , buh any arrangement made in private must stay private, when we are alone she can send me errands buh when there is 3rd party around i expect my woman to retreat back to default.

Infact any woman that respect her husband won't bring up certain things in front of 3rd party or visitors. it won't cost her anything to go check herself and save her husband some respect haba !

NemoDatQuod:
I wish I were female in this instance and your sister in-law. You will talk?
I will put strong pepper in your mouth and you will explain to me what you are doing in my house, let alone asking me to explain myself to you. I am not married to you. I am married to your brother. Because I tolerated your presence in my house, you then have the audacity to ask me questions about my family affair.

Most of you need to have your heads examined. Really!

You don't understand the concept of boundaries and privacy. She owes you nada! and your own brother also owes you no explanation with regards to his relationship with his wife.

It seems most people in that Nigeria are mad in one form or the other. You wake up, dust your seat pants, go to someone else's home and start questioning her on how she relates with her husband. Come and try it here and see where you will spend the night.

It is men like you who will subject a widow to all sorts of indignities on the death of her husband, instead of having fellow feeling for her and comforting her on the loss of her closest companion. Mtchew!

How marriage dey do una body sef? See the way you dey talk as if marriage na one kind Ogboni cult wey be sey no outsider can put mouth in; because one is married, that institution should be worshipped by everyone else. Nonsense. No be everybody give a shit about marriage. If I see my sister or brother being disrespected in his marriage, I will speak out and defend him or her. No be only when serious issues like death happen, I go come dey solve matters as brother or brother in-law.

Emman08:
Some don't even know what it means to be responsive for a woman let alone live with your wife. Have they lived with a pregnancy wife with all theoeming sickness and drama? Or have your wife sick and be responsible for her? Anytime my wife is ill or weak and needs my help I do literally everything. Wetin concern anybody? It is MY woman. Not everything in life is about forming machismo

Pregnancy or sickness is different. Not when she is not sick or heavy,she go tell u to go check if store outside open. Reason am na,that kind wife no get regard for you na. Abi you no get sense ni?

BigYash:
Mugu.. I pray your sons turn slaves and errand boys to their wives..

I pray your daughters don't marry a man that they can't tell to buy bread on his way home.

Uduozuor.