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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Help, I Am About To Marry A Good Girl Naricisssit. (4526 Views)
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Re: Help, I Am About To Marry A Good Girl Naricisssit. by Ebubu: 4:46pm On Oct 22, 2022 |
Saintinoo:please dump this girl. i’ve dated her type in the past, a narcissist. i’ve cut her off. after about two months blocking her, i now regret why i met her. 1 Like |
Re: Help, I Am About To Marry A Good Girl Naricisssit. by henrimoto(m): 7:42pm On Oct 22, 2022 |
Saintinoo:pls, must you marry this lady ? You talk as if you owe this lady a compulsory marriage, despite the unhappiness she is giving you. 2 Likes |
Re: Help, I Am About To Marry A Good Girl Naricisssit. by henrimoto(m): 7:46pm On Oct 22, 2022 |
nnamdiosu: |
Re: Help, I Am About To Marry A Good Girl Naricisssit. by Richy4(m): 7:48pm On Oct 22, 2022 |
henrimoto:She is a virgin |
Re: Help, I Am About To Marry A Good Girl Naricisssit. by Starz825(m): 7:52pm On Oct 22, 2022 |
Oga oga ... Once a lady's imperfections are too rigid and will be very hard to adjust ...omoo...pick race ooo... All her red flags are character based.... You can't change it...you can't... She is showing all that would happen in the marriage.... Good, you are seeing it beforehand Make your decisions yourself How I go dey beg woman wey offend me...which kind rubbish be all this..... If I offend you..sure I go plead..and if you offend me say sorry I go accept....that's how it works..... You be simp joor.... 1 Like |
Re: Help, I Am About To Marry A Good Girl Naricisssit. by oweniwe(m): 11:14pm On Oct 22, 2022 |
Saintinoo: Bro run. The earlier you run, the better. Peace of mind and unbothered conscience are the most important things in any relationship. If both are missing, no matter how long you try to patch and manage the relationship, her red flag attitudes you mentioned will only get worse everyday and she will be blaming you for it. Even if you stay for years, a time will come when you will get fed up and run away. A woman that cannot accept responsibility for her actions or apologise when she's wrong is the major reason for divorce/husband leaving . Even all these baby mamas, it's one of the reasons why some of their guys decline to marry them 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Help, I Am About To Marry A Good Girl Naricisssit. by Kobojunkie: 11:29pm On Oct 22, 2022 |
Saintinoo:This has absolutely nothing to do with being perfect or not but the fact that in not really knowing yourself and what you want, you have pretty much wasted this woman's time in a relationship, probably even leading her to believe you are the right person for her. You are the problem here because this behavior of hers has been there from the start, it seems, yet you led her own making her believe you were OK with it. If you don't like a girl that belittles you and calls you names when an issue comes up, why did you date her all this while, going as far as to promise her marriage? |
Re: Help, I Am About To Marry A Good Girl Naricisssit. by Octopusssy(f): 4:17am On Oct 23, 2022 |
Kobojunkie:I doubt you have ever being in any serious relationship. You sha like talking nonsense 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Help, I Am About To Marry A Good Girl Naricisssit. by Kobojunkie: 4:19am On Oct 23, 2022 |
Octopusssy:See delusion abeg! |
Re: Help, I Am About To Marry A Good Girl Naricisssit. by Octopusssy(f): 4:35am On Oct 23, 2022 |
Kobojunkie:It's not delusion. Stop commenting on things you lack sufficient experience in 2 Likes |
Re: Help, I Am About To Marry A Good Girl Naricisssit. by Kobojunkie: 4:43am On Oct 23, 2022 |
Octopusssy:See delusion! |
Re: Help, I Am About To Marry A Good Girl Naricisssit. by pelumiii(m): 5:10am On Oct 23, 2022 |
Saintinoo:She can go to any lenght to make sure that her man and family is ok and yet you labeled her a narcissist.. Even though this red flags you mentioned are serious issues, have you tried to discuss these things with her and how have you tried to help her? I don't know much about your relationship with her but from the little you wrote, I can say you are really amplifying her faults and diminishing her strengths. She is your woman, so you know her more than we do, but I believe these faults she has are things she can work on if she is willing to... Most times the way we look at the problem is the problem, imagine someone you already labeled a narcissist, obviously you will constantly be on the look out for her flaws and atimes you might end up blowing things out of proportion. There is one rule I used in my past relationship, I don't correct or point out my partner's fault when the atmosphere is already tensed or when she is still very agitated, I realized she is more receptive when the matter has died down and she is calm, she tend to listen more and see her faults then, but if I pointed her faults out when she is already agitated, she tend to justify her bad behavior and this will create more chaos because I will now definitely get angry... But you are the one that know where the shoe pinches, all i said is from my own little understanding of your post, but don't be quick to loose a good woman because because of flaws she can work on if she is willing... 1 Like |
Re: Help, I Am About To Marry A Good Girl Naricisssit. by Iceyy(f): 10:02am On Oct 23, 2022 |
henrimoto:I don't even understand Must he marry the girl? If someone does not give you peace of mind, you let of the person. See the kind headache he is getting from the girl and he is still asking questions 2 Likes |
Re: Help, I Am About To Marry A Good Girl Naricisssit. by Saintinoo(m): 10:14am On Oct 23, 2022 |
pelumiii: Bro you spoke well, more importanly about talking to her. But one of, if not the main reason for the fights is that i try to correct her where she is wrong, i even ready last time we had a major fight, i told her gently that she needs some sort of help, and i will stand by her to make sure we pass this trying stage. The more you try to tell her the wrongs she did, she turn the fault on you and try to manipulate you until you agree to being the problem. The reason why i said she is a narcissit is because she thick all the boxes of a narc, but still i wanted to see that we can work things out. I have never for once told her that she is a narc, i only tild to watch out for some narc behaviour in her and work on it. I am not trying to sound good, i also have my fault, but i have never attempted, even the thought of laying my hands on her, i respect her and her decisions, i might sometimes go wrong, after everything i call and apologize. Will she apologize? in the heat of our argument, she told me that she wish she can turn the hands of time, the next day i called her to scold her about what she said and to ask her if she really want to turn the hands of time, guess what, she started bringing up stories to manipulate me and make me feel guilt, instead of apologising. 1 Like |
Re: Help, I Am About To Marry A Good Girl Naricisssit. by Stargurl20(f): 10:16am On Oct 23, 2022 |
Don't tell me you're just seeing all these after 3years. |
Re: Help, I Am About To Marry A Good Girl Naricisssit. by Saintinoo(m): 11:21am On Oct 23, 2022 |
Stargurl20: No, i have been trying to make things work and finding a way to understand her all through those years. But i know better now. 1 Like |
Re: Help, I Am About To Marry A Good Girl Naricisssit. by Ebubu: 12:14pm On Oct 23, 2022 |
Octopusssy:kobojunkie talks nonsense always in every relationship issues. there’s this other moniker i’m trying to remember, can’t tell if it’s other moniker or still same kobo. the two of them once i see their comment, i expect rubbish. 1 Like |
Re: Help, I Am About To Marry A Good Girl Naricisssit. by Ebubu: 12:18pm On Oct 23, 2022 |
Saintinoo:guy, you are on your own if you marry this girl. my hand no dey. i’ve gotten tired of trying to change someone. i prefer the person meeting my characters i want instead of transforming who doesn’t meet my characters into having such characters. no go devote your life into transforming someone wey no be you born am. dump her and tell her if she ever chats or calls you again, you’ll use her for rituals, she’ll run. i am warning you to leave that girl and never look back 1 Like |
Re: Help, I Am About To Marry A Good Girl Naricisssit. by Stargurl20(f): 1:00pm On Oct 23, 2022 |
Saintinoo: If you're being honest with all these you accused her of, I wouldn't advice you to marry such woman. Not just a woman, humans shouldn't have high inflated idea of their won importance. We shouldn't be full of ourselves. However, I think u should have discard her earlier the moment you tried changing all these, and u are not seeing any signs of her willing to. Maybe her virginity got into her head, not knowing they are countless virgins ( forget what they say here. Anyway, the ball is in your court 1 Like |
Re: Help, I Am About To Marry A Good Girl Naricisssit. by Saintinoo(m): 2:24pm On Oct 23, 2022 |
Stargurl20: Not only her virginity, she has good figures, she is a type of girl that 10 men will try to talk to daily, so that nade her tell me things like '' i wish i can turn the hands of time, you make me regret saying yes to you, you know how many men i have refused because of you''. |
Re: Help, I Am About To Marry A Good Girl Naricisssit. by obinna58(m): 11:09pm On Oct 23, 2022 |
Saintinoo:Some of your statements are contradicting, else na pretence A good woman will humble herself instead of wanting to control, dominate and manipulate her man, moral societal decency is of no use to you, inner purity is what you need. I don't think being disrespectful and willing to go any length to make sure her man is ok should be in the same line. She nags sometimes and yet contented with little you give(I no understand o) Na pretence I dey see o Does she make effort to settle problems, like try to make peace or you're the carrying it for head? Is she someone who can't look away over very little things, like small things turns very big problem? If you both angry who tries to make peace first? Does she go toe to toe with you? Or have such capability. If you cannot tame her don't marry her else na wotowoto 1 Like |
Re: Help, I Am About To Marry A Good Girl Naricisssit. by DonnyD24hj: 1:57am On Dec 22, 2022 |
Once I was young and did not know how to build suckers properly. It was difficult for me, because I did not know how to find an approach to my partners. That was when I had a narcissistic girl in my pair. However, everything changed when I studied in more detail the rules and approaches to building such relationships in this blog https://worldofarticle.com/narcissist-couples/ The rules and tips were useful and in the following relationships I managed to do everything right. I think you will also be interested in this blog. |
Re: Help, I Am About To Marry A Good Girl Naricisssit. by Stevenbright(m): 4:53am On Dec 22, 2022 |
Saintinoo: "Which also led her say that she regrets saying yes to me" The above is not the kind of words you take for granted. She is the type that will tell you in the future that she regret marrying you. Such a lady will leave you for another man when you most needed her! Be warned. 1 Like |
Re: Help, I Am About To Marry A Good Girl Naricisssit. by Nobody: 5:51am On Dec 22, 2022 |
. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Help, I Am About To Marry A Good Girl Naricisssit. by JeffreyJunior: 6:10am On Dec 22, 2022 |
You promised her marriage and you've been with her for 3yrs, only for you to realize now that she has bad sides? Oga, you yourself no dey try too but I'll forgive you because we are talking marriage here not just any relationship. You are the one getting married not me so you should be able to know exactly what you want in a woman. As for me, I put my peace of mind above everything including love and beauty. A lady that can't afford to grant me that singular request is not for me. 2 Likes |
Re: Help, I Am About To Marry A Good Girl Naricisssit. by Backo97: 6:20am On Dec 22, 2022 |
Saintinoo: I had some of these issues with my ex, especially number 3. I was with her for 3 years; we were even friends for many years before dating. She also has the exact good qualities you listed. But I took the hard decision and I eventually left her because I was convinced in my heart that she would never change, and if I eventually got married to her, which was my plan, there would be a crisis. It’s been eight months since we separated, and I never regretted my action. Follow your conviction, bro. Cheers. 3 Likes |
Re: Help, I Am About To Marry A Good Girl Naricisssit. by missidy: 8:17am On Dec 22, 2022 |
All you just described is my 41yrs old cousin. Bad character everywhere, her fiance ran away to Ghana so that she won't find him. Till today, she isn't married. Anytime we watched a movie together and she sees a lady talking anyhow to her husband, she will shake her head and say "she go soon learn, me sef I don learn my lesson ." Talk to her, if she refuses to change then make your decision. Saintinoo: 1 Like |
Re: Help, I Am About To Marry A Good Girl Naricisssit. by oladcity(m): 8:40am On Dec 22, 2022 |
Guy, run for your life. These so call good sides or attributes will be like gravel coated with chocolate in your mouth after you get married. 2 Likes |
Re: Help, I Am About To Marry A Good Girl Naricisssit. by BigCowHornn: 9:10am On Dec 22, 2022 |
Saintinoo: That's a wonderful woman you have right there. It's seems she can manage everything else except her personality ... the anger part in particular I'll advice you not marry her though. Why? You don't have the personality or understanding to absorb her bad side. No one is perfect to. That girl can be tamed but not with force or too much sense. Gentleness, love, silence and ... .... sense. It's a fight you can't win unless she loves you. I speak from experience here. I once had a bad babe like that in school. She was big and beautiful ...so full of all the shiit you've mentioned Whenever she makes trouble at home it's me her people send for to bring her under control . She fights everyone except me.. never argues with me. Babe and me were same age. She got married to older man right after school thanks to her people. I wasn't ready then. That's how I lost her. It's one of my few regrets in life especially given that she is dropping twins like biscuit... 3 sets so far. 1 Like |
Re: Help, I Am About To Marry A Good Girl Naricisssit. by Pootle: 1:47pm On Dec 22, 2022 |
na becos she never chop correct gbola...doggy her and put sense into her head |
Re: Help, I Am About To Marry A Good Girl Naricisssit. by Curiouscity(m): 3:17pm On Dec 22, 2022 |
Op, this was exactly my list of pros and cons 12 years ago. I am living in deep regret and tears now. You see those things you listed as 'good side'? That is manipulations at work. Fear manipulators! A broken relationship is better than a broken marriage! 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Help, I Am About To Marry A Good Girl Naricisssit. by Kobojunkie: 4:01pm On Dec 22, 2022 |
missidy:Stop perpetuating this silly idea that there is only one person out there for ant particular woman. Tell your cousin to get herself together and find herself a man whose specs fit hers. Stop making it seem as though she is doomed for life or something because one man left her. Also, tell your cousin that scientists have identified at least 16 different personality types meaning even in relationships there is no one formulae for success. A woman is as free as a man to engage and express herself without needing to be demonized by other women such as your cousin for not fitting into a set mold created by society. In fact society thrives when folks learn that so long as no crime is committed all is to be expected and accepted. |
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