₦airaland Forum

ppogba:
I agree with you that this action of theirs is an admittance of the problem being a step towards progress.

But, I insist they will experience the same if they keep living in the past, moaning about what their father did or refused to do rather than working their socks off for their own life and children. For goodness sake, children born when their fathers had already died are achieving things in their life.

You are still not getting it! The man is dead.... he basically got away with what he did to them. However, by exposing the truth as they did, not only do they get to grieve properly but they also obtain needed closure to a hurt filled past and are hence able to leave the past with the dead as they intended.

No amount of achievement in this life can rub away a past hurt. There are so many rich men today who carry around with them the pain of their past unable to plug that hole with all the money and wealth they have amassed for themselves. You have to confront emotional pain, let it out in order to be able to let it go --- that is how you obtain closure from your past and are then able to move on to a better future.

What this kids did has likely set them free from their past. The chances are slim to none that any of them will end up like their father before them.

Munzy14:
For the first time truth was told in a burial..

Normally ones person die, e don turn saint..Even people with questionable character.

Anyways, Thank God for some of us that had and still enjoying a home filled with love and sacrifice.

Nawa o....How man go leave wify and kids just the spend on top one yeye small girl wey go leave am Japa outside

Again I hope this is not another case of mothers and home politics of brainwashing the kids to look down on Local man

I do not agree. The children are truly stupid and entitled. If you know that community, many of the men that age were truly very rich who died leaving estates, so they were expecting their father to do the same.

The father was just a village tailor and farmer. They also verified that he served his community with all his heart and was selfless even though he wasn't rich.

Do you expect a tailor to leave estates behind like his peers?

Arkmanbuddy:
They're facing their lives, if not they'd not be conscious enough to understand the shortcomings of their father.

exactly!

Kobojunkie:
You are still not getting it! The man is dead.... he basically got away with what he did to them. However, by exposing the truth as they did, not only do they get to grieve properly but they also obtain needed closure to a hurt filled past and are hence able to leave the past with the dead as they intended.

No amount of achievement in this life can rub away a past hurt. There are so many rich men today who carry around with them the pain of their past unable to plug that hole with all the money and wealth they have amassed for themselves. You have to confront emotional pain, let it out in order to be able to let it go --- that is how you obtain closure from your past and are then able to move on to a better future.

What this kids did has likely set them free from their past.

The man died a poor village tailor and farmer, what were the children expecting?

The same book showed that the man was a very selfless man who served the community till death despite his lack of money.
I know this community, man men there are super rich who die leaving Estates for the children and this was possibly what the children expected from a poor tailor.

Lagos2Berlin:
He owes them plenty: food, shelter, emotional and mental support, prayers, financial support, advice, love and care. That is what parenting is all about!

Some of you need classes on proper parenting.

Good bless u.

Plus guidance, mentorship, protection, availability etc.

Raising a child is not training a dog

Ekealterego:
The man died a poor village tailor and farmer, what were the children expecting? The same book showed that the man was a very selfless man who served the community till death despite his lack of money.

I know this community, man men there are super rich who die leaving Estates for the children and this was possibly what the children expected from a poor tailor.

So, what you are saying is the man had enough to give others but left nothing for his own children and somehow that makes him a good father?

I am having a hard time wrapping my mind aroujd this logic of yours. So, you are expecting us to believe that this same poor village tailor and farmer had enough to give other people but not his own children and to you that means he was a good father to his children?

I don't follow at all... since when did being a good father equal taking care of everyone else but your own children's needs and wants?

Help me understand your reasoning abeg! His children have no right to expect anything of him because was a poor village tailor and farmer but somehow that didn't stop all others from expecting and getting from him in the same community?

madridguy:
E sure me die na another man pickin they carry come give this man. Your own blood will never write something like this.

Make God no allow us born our enemy as child.

You are a very big fool for saying such, maybe na so your mama go carry you from okada man come house, � goat. If you have children don't look after them, don't give them quality education and don't also look after their mother and welfare and see what befalls you. MUMU.

Jennyclay:
Looking at the man's picture one could tell he was truly wicked to his children.
These are the kind of men that would squander money in beer parlour but won't give their children money for school fees and up-keep

These are the kind of men that would squander money on ladies but won't give their wife money for food. And if the wife complains he would beat her up.

These are the kind of men that compare their children to other people's children whereas he's not making any effort to better the life of his own children.

For his children to have regretted having him as a father shows he did unspeakable things. His children were nice enough to attend his funeral. If I were to be in their shoes, I won't dare attend his funeral.

Stingy ko ko men everywhere!

Please dont conclude

The outsiders he was good to could mean a lot of ladies and slay queens.

Kobojunkie:
You are still not getting it! The man is dead.... he basically got away with what he did to them. However, by exposing the truth as they did, not only do they get to grieve properly but they also obtain needed closure to a hurt filled past and are hence able to leave the past with the dead as they intended.

No amount of achievement in this life can rub away a past hurt. There are so many rich men today who carry around with them the pain of their past unable to plug that hole with all the money and wealth they have amassed for themselves. You have to confront emotional pain, let it out in order to be able to let it go --- that is how you obtain closure from your past and are then able to move on to a better future.

What this kids did has likely set them free from their past. The chances are slim to none that any of them will end up like their father before them.

Well said.

JORDAN202:
YOU SHOULD HAVE CONFRONTED THE MAN BEFORE HE DIED SO THAT HE CAN EXCERCISE HIS RIGHT TO REPLY.

One would wonder how you became sure he didn't.

A child that could input this write up in his late father biography has displayed an act of irresponsibilty of the higest order. This shows you were not even responsible as a child when your father was alive, how then do you expect him to spend his hard earned resources on a child like you. How could you blame your abject failure on your late father? What lagacy were you expecting? Before his died at age 66, may be as a result of you bad behavour, what have you done for him as a child?

Jennyclay:
Looking at the man's picture one could tell he was truly wicked to his children.
These are the kind of men that would squander money in beer parlour but won't give their children money for school fees and up-keep

These are the kind of men that would squander money on ladies but won't give their wife money for food. And if the wife complains he would beat her up.

These are the kind of men that compare their children to other people's children whereas he's not making any effort to better the life of his own children.

For his children to have regretted having him as a father shows he did unspeakable things. His children were nice enough to attend his funeral. If I were to be in their shoes, I won't dare attend his funeral.

Stingy ko ko men everywhere!

Did you come to this world because of man? Why don't you make your own money and stop the fantasies about collecting money from men.

Roboto11:
What does he owe them besides education?

There's alot more in bringing up a child than just education which I want you to find out yourself, even as at that, are you sure he gave them a good education? Don't have a child and thinks all he needs is education, you might end up like the man in the biography....

Part of the reason for what you see here can be traced to the culture of this community where children have no inheritance from their father but will rather inherit from their mother.
this simply means that in ohafia it is the women that own the children and the inheritance of the children come from their mother. For this reason some men feel they are not entitled to their children and therefore are less enthusiastic for the development of the children.

Kobojunkie:
You are still not getting it! The man is dead.... he basically got away with what he did to them. However, by exposing the truth as they did, not only do they get to grieve properly but they also obtain needed closure to a hurt filled past and are hence able to leave the past with the dead as they intended.

No amount of achievement in this life can rub away a past hurt. There are so many rich men today who carry around with them the pain of their past unable to plug that hole with all the money and wealth they have amassed for themselves. You have to confront emotional pain, let it out in order to be able to let it go --- that is how you obtain closure from your past and are then able to move on to a better future.

What this kids did has likely set them free from their past. The chances are slim to none that any of them will end up like their father before them.

You can bet your last kobo they won't end up like him. They know the man is evil and they made no attempts to make excuses for him.

Roboto11:
Just as you think there are bad fathers, so can one have terrible kids.

Make a research on what makes kids terrible?
It's still part of what we're talking about.

Onelove508:
Good bless u.

Plus guidance, mentorship, protection, availability etc.

Raising a child is not training a dog

Even dogs are treated better by their owners compared to the nonsense people are saying here.
Check Pets section on nairaland and see how well people treat their pets.

I repeat, the people who are supporting that man are themselves monsters.

gaddafe:
You will be surprised this man did his best for the kids. Some children are hopeless children especially the ones of this generation. How can a child write that about the late dad. My father did a lot of negative things to me some of them when I sit down I still cry. But one thing is that he later regretted them all and wished he could change the hand of time and correct the mistakes. That's why my dad don't joke with my kids. In fact when I see the way my children like my dad stay with him and all that, I just shake my head because when I was like them, I do wish the man died. Today I'm a dad and I try to do my best for this kids yet they don't still see me as a good enough dad for them. My own dad became remorseful at his old age when he became sick and all his friends left him and all his children also left him and I decided he stays with me and I took care of him. Sometimes when he tells my kids about who he was, of how popular he was in the military and everyone hailing him as Gaddafi, they do think he's exaggerating but I tell them, this man is tellythe truth, he was rich and popular and had many friends except that today I'm his only friend and confidant. I control all his account, all his estate etc.

You're an example of
"hey everyone, I was abused but turned out alright."
Same nonsense most of you say in defence of narcissistic, psychopathic and extremely violent upbringing you had.
You have seen how alright you turned..
You then become far worse than the abuse you received.

It is not good to speak hill of the dead.

Jennyclay:
Looking at the man's picture one could tell he was truly wicked to his children.
These are the kind of men that would squander money in beer parlour but won't give their children money for school fees and up-keep

These are the kind of men that would squander money on ladies but won't give their wife money for food. And if the wife complains he would beat her up.

These are the kind of men that compare their children to other people's children whereas he's not making any effort to better the life of his own children.

For his children to have regretted having him as a father shows he did unspeakable things. His children were nice enough to attend his funeral. If I were to be in their shoes, I won't dare attend his funeral.

Stingy ko ko men everywhere!

These are lazy children. I know people that came from poor of the poorest families, but with determination and God on thier side, they made it in life. They could have hussled on their own and achieve greatness.The only thing I blame my Dad for not giving me early in life is Jesus Christ. If my Dad would have shown me Jesus just like Bishop David Oyedepo had showed his children Jesus Christ at formative age, I would have been very far in life. I'm showing my children Jesus Christ and they wouldn't suffer like me.

A very big lesson to parents

Jennyclay:
Looking at the man's picture one could tell he was truly wicked to his children.
These are the kind of men that would squander money in beer parlour but won't give their children money for school fees and up-keep

These are the kind of men that would squander money on ladies but won't give their wife money for food. And if the wife complains he would beat her up.

These are the kind of men that compare their children to other people's children whereas he's not making any effort to better the life of his own children.

For his children to have regretted having him as a father shows he did unspeakable things. His children were nice enough to attend his funeral. If I were to be in their shoes, I won't dare attend his funeral.

Stingy ko ko men everywhere!

You must be incognitive impaired. So you judge people by their looks? , I pray ur kids don't also say this against you someday. You open ur gutter just to spew trash against the dead.

Kobojunkie:
How did he give them life? By squirting sperm out of his dick?

He may not feel shame but his legacy is made clear for all by the revelation that he did not do good by his own children, the responsibility he took upon himself.

You asked and answered your own question sir.

I wasn't defending a deadbeat dad... I despise such men!

However, complaining and ranting at a dead man, bringing such needless embarrassing spotlight upon those left behind is just obtuse.

Emotions don't solve problems... I grew up with an absentee father, yet I hold him no grudges till today... There is no point to it.

Kobojunkie:
So, what you are saying is the man had enough to give others but left nothing for his own children and somehow that makes him a good father?

I am having a hard time wrapping my mind aroujd this logic of yours. So, you are expecting us to believe that this same poor village tailor and farmer had enough to give other people but not his own children and to you that means he was a good father to his children?

I don't follow at all... since when did being a good father equal taking care of everyone else but your own children's needs and wants?

Help me understand your reasoning abeg! His children have no right to expect anything of him because was a poor village tailor and farmer but somehow that didn't stop all others from expecting and getting from him in the same community?

Maybe you if you remove your entitled veil you could read between the lines.
A parent owe you nothing beyond training you in school (In most part of the world, University might not be part of it), feed you till you are 18 or max 21 if you go to college. They do not owe you anything more.

The question, should be,
1. Did the man train them in school or a vocation?
2. Was the man there when they were young?

As you can see, there is need for more context. What do they mean by "leave us a legacy". What other legacies were they searching for in that context that didn't involve leaving them a property?
The man was given a title for his goodness and service?

The man lived a life of net positive impact, let the children follow same.

They didn't say the father was a deadbeat, they were upset he didn't leave their lazy asses estates they would sell later when he is gone.

Many Nigerian adult children are entitled bums still crying for food in momas house in their 20s and 30s. In Europe and America, by 18 you are already in the streets on your own finding your path in life.
Lazy entitled youths!

Angelfrost:
You asked and answered your own question sir.I wasn't defending a deadbeat dad... I despise such men!

However, complaining and ranting at a dead man, bringing such needless embarrassing spotlight upon those left behind is just obtuse. Emotions don't solve problems... I grew up with an absentee father, yet I hold him no grudges till today... There is no point to it.

On the contrary, what they did is in fact what doctors and psychiatrists recommend to those who were hurt by a so-called loved one particularly when it seems the one who hurt them got away with it leaving them with no other way of resolving their hurt.

Kobojunkie:
You are still not getting it! The man is dead.... he basically got away with what he did to them. However, by exposing the truth as they did, not only do they get to grieve properly but they also obtain needed closure to a hurt filled past and are hence able to leave the past with the dead as they intended.

No amount of achievement in this life can rub away a past hurt. There are so many rich men today who carry around with them the pain of their past unable to plug that hole with all the money and wealth they have amassed for themselves. You have to confront emotional pain, let it out in order to be able to let it go --- that is how you obtain closure from your past and are then able to move on to a better future.

What this kids did has likely set them free from their past. The chances are slim to none that any of them will end up like their father before them.

I am reminded of a movie from my childhood days, I spit on your grave. Everytime I recall the name of that movie. I burst into laughter because that title alone says so much.

Ekealterego:
1. Maybe you if you remove your entitled veil you could read between the lines.
A parent owe you nothing beyond training you in school (In most part of the world, University might not be part of it), feed you till you are 18 or max 21 if you go to college. They do not owe you anything more.

The question, should be,
1. Did the man train them in school or a vocation?
2. Was the man there when they were young?

As you can see, there is need for more context. What do they mean by "leave us a legacy". What other legacies were they searching for in that context that didn't involve leaving them a property?
The man was given a title for his goodness and service?

The man lived a life of net positive impact, let the children follow same. They didn't say the father was a deadbeat, they were upset he didn't leave their lazy asses estates they would sell later when he is gone.

Many Nigerian adult children are entitled bums still crying for food in momas house in their 20s and 30s. In Europe and America, by 18 you are already in the streets on your own finding your path in life.
Lazy entitled youths!

You own Don pass be careful!

EBMedia:
https://igberetvnews.com/1434218/left-us-single-legacy-sad-children-write-late-dads-biography-photo/

Fake
And it's even on front page

What's wrong with NL mods

Gwan2:
The dead is dead...

Rewrite the story so your offspring wont say same about you when laying you to rest


For the living, the only thing that should matter to you in this life is GOD, YOUR FAMILY AND YOUR ASSIGNMENT/DESTINY/PURPOSE in life.

Every other thing should come secondary

Rewrite which story, the one the father left or to lie to the world? Such truth has a way of being an eye opener to the living to avoid repeated occurrence. Do you want them to borrow another person's qualities to attribute to their father who has none to deceive the audience or do you think their were no relatives and neighbors who were witnesses to the man's lifestyle at home when he was alive. Abeg let the bitter truth be told jare.

madridguy:
E sure me die na another man pickin they carry come give this man. Your own blood will never write something like this.

Make God no allow us born our enemy as child.

Brother na the man born ahm. Even me fit write that kind thing against my papa. But what's the need?? I'll just safe myself the stress of participating in whatever funeral process.

Chee59:
The rest of you are phoolish ball-less men. You shun a person for opening up. That's why people kill themselves. Someone will have a useless father but because of what people will say, will stomach decades of abuse and neglect until they either take their life or become just as abusive as him.
Because y'all underestimate the power of abuse and trauma.

John_doe on twitter just blocked me arguing against one of his tweets. A woman was being abused physically by her husband for close to 10 years, and stopped when the children became adults. Do you know what the man that shared the 'testimony' said? that he now respects his father more because as a husband now, he understands the father.
You know why he said so, because, he claimed to have seen his mother with another man in a compromising position.

All i asked on john_does thread was, What do you expect a woman who has been beaten black and blue to do? submit to her abuser then came the block! Fear naija men, give them their way, and they'd wouldn't hesitate in bringing back old customs dare i say female circumcision.