₦airaland Forum

all4zionlover:
I'm sure if the man was a good husband and father to his children, they will not abandon him in old age.
Sow love, care and kindness now that you're a young husband and father.

Tallesty1:
You're not sure of anything.

The reason some fathers are abandoned in old age is because they married incredibly manipulative women

ejimatic:
It has been observed that many more crises are taking place in families nowadays. One of them is our focus here.

Many wives and children now abandon their husbands after the men retire. Some turn children against their fathers while some wives plan to kill their husbands so as to inherit their husband properties.

Why is it that wives want their husbands dead so as to inherit them? Why is it that when husbands are sicks WIves always try to know what is in the wills of their husbands? Why do wives abandon their husbands at the old age and pack to another apartment? Why do wives want to be in control of their husbands at the old age! Why do families crack when the old age is about to set in .

A man was abandoned by his wives and children so much so that he was crying for help in his apartment. When thean died the children slaughtered cows and painted the house.What do you think about this development? What is happening in the families now?

Kobojunkie:
Did his own children tell you this or are you an outsider pretending to have knowledge of what goes on in another's home?

2. What makes you think the oppression was only directed outwards without spilling over on the inside to cause a rift between him and maybe his kids at least?

Davidave:
Narcissistic people have good skills to Bleep everyone and then act like victims.

If your entire family abandons you, you probably have been the biggest asshole to them.

flourishing247:
I was once a victim of their shenanigans.

Connected1:
Any male child who joins hands with his mother to abandon his father is a fool and he will surely suffer the consequences later in life.

Women are emotional beings and as a man you have to be logical and make reasonable decisions.

My mother always hinted that I move only her and leave my father that he has been miserable all his life, giving several useless reasons, but alas both of them are in the new house.

I do think men should give money to their wives in front of their children, the one you give in the room, she usually claims it as hers, she may not be a bad mother or wife but that's how they are wired, once you let your guard down at old age they use it against you.

A friend of mine allowed his father die last month out of hunger, I really pity him because he's foolish and has been brainwashed by his mother, I usually give his old man money when I am around but when I came to town from a week travel, I was told he died and hunger was the cause 😥.

Unless my Father tried to kill my mother sometime ago, I don't see another reason why I won't help him, we all make mistakes and women do many mistakes too but cover it with emotional manipulations so you see them as victims or saints.

Some Foolish men think too high of their mothers and they assume they are always right instead of using their brains.

Kobojunkie:
Ok. But you are still an outsider as far as how the man interacted behind close doors with his family. Even evil men who build good relationship at home enjoy their company in old age.

Ariketolu:
THIS HAS BEEN BOTH A COMMON CONCERN OF EVERY RESPONSIBLE MAN AS WELL AS A FAMILIAR TOPIC AMONG MEN THROUGH AGES, But unfortunately, it is a lost battle

Not long ago, I stumbled on a discussion in relation to how some women abandon their husbands at advanced ages and pitch their tents with their children under the guise of helping them to nurse their (children's) children. In some other cases, the men have been abandoned at old age by their wives because they felt it was 'pay back time' for unforgivable sins allegedly committed by the old man when he was younger. Such sins don't necessarily have anything to do with infidelity or taking a younger wife, but it's enough if the wife and the children all concluded he was too harsh with (or to) them when the marriage was younger or the children were growing up. They carefully elect to wait until the old man has retired and needs the company of his wife and the affection of the children most before they embark on a revenge mission!

In most, if not all, cases, the man must have worked day and night towards the physical, economic, and educational advancement of the family, most especially the children when they were growing up. Ironically, but for what the children now label as 'high-handedness', most, if not all, of them would have ended up as wayward children and unable to make anything worthwhile out of their lives. But they don't appreciate that!

The most painful part of it is that, the wife it was who used to obtain the children's submission to her 'dictations' by mentioning their Daddy's name each time they tended towards obstinacy! 'Your daddy is coming', 'your daddy will soon come', 'if you don't listen to me, I will report you to your daddy when he comes back', and so on. Expectedly, the children would not like to incur the wrath of their daddy, hence, they will 'maintain'! Where the children refused to listen to the mother and she was constrained to report them to the father, the father's reaction by way of punishment is what is now being used against the man as being too high-handed.

Another reason for the children's resentment towards their father is the mistaken impression that the father never contributed towards their education. While this can be true in some extreme cases where the father is irredeemably irresponsible, the truth is that in most other cases, because the father had to pursue money most of the time, he would give money for school fees and upkeep to the wife to go and settle whilst he goes 'hustling'. These facts are usually unknown to the children and the mother never told them it was their father who provided the money. Such children would later grow up and rebel against the father for his 'irresponsible' behaviours when they were growing up!

It will amount to over-generalisation to conclude that all women and children do this. Far from it! Recently, I was discussing with a former colleague in one of the banks where I previously worked. She told me that she was outside the country with Daddy. What for? One of their children just gave birth and both of them had travelled abroad to 'baby sit'! I think that's how it should be unless the old man elects not to travel!

Even in very extreme cases where the man had been beastly during the 'sinning' period, why should the woman wait until the husband's old age to 'pay him back'? Why not call it a day with the relationship when the man could still have been able to find someone with compatible behavioural patterns?

What Shall Men Do?

In the first place, a man must learn to be responsible and responsive in matrimonial homes! He must be actively involved in the children's affairs! Where some roles have been delegated to the mother, he should let the children be aware!

Second, no father must allow the woman to surreptitiously turn him into a masquerade in the estimation of the children. That you went out and you're returning home should be something that your children are looking forward to. If you continue to allow yourself to be portrayed as the family masquerade, in your old age you will definitely pay for it.

Furthermore, as a father, learn to correct your children in and with love. Let them know the reason a particular course of punishment was administered. Whatever level of punishment to be administered must be commensurate to the act of misdemeanour! Just like the Yorubas would say: 'Abéré ò gbudò sonù, ká lo gbé Ṣàngó síta'! Let the punishment fit the offence!

Finally, fathers must learn to provide for any 'incasity' at old age! In other words, learn not to eat with both hands. If you haven't been doing that before, start saving for the rainy day (old age) today. If your spouse and children decide to be supportive at old age, all well and good, but if it turns out to be otherwise, there will be no regrets. Times are changing fast too! The children also have their own lives to live. If anything comes from them to the parents at old age, fine, otherwise try and be prepared! Whatever you have as savings would eventually go to them upon your inevitable departure anyway. No parent knows the art of raising or bringing up children. Only God does!

This battle of mother and children in relation to men, in most cases, is a lost battle for men. You cannot win it. The most deceptive belief a man can have is to think that he knows everything that goes on under his roof. This is because there's usually a lot of 'Má jé kí Daddy ẹ ó mò tàbí gbó o' in all homes! In other words, 'don't let your daddy know or hear that o'! This usually exists between the mother and the children to the exclusion of the father! They understandably spend more time together than men do, no matter how hard the fathers try! I think it's unconscionable for any woman to 'conspire' with the children to dub her husband a devil after using him as a tool to train the children to achieve greatness! God bless our homes, Amen!

Caleb Arogundade

Amumaigwe:
You forget that women age faster than men and are more susceptible to infirmities. Hope it will also be okay if the man abandons his wife in her hour of needs over bottled grouse he has against her. Only foolish husbands enter vengeful women's trap set at their old age. I now can only love my family as myself. Not more.

Connected1:
Any male child who joins hands with his mother to abandon his father is a fool and he will surely suffer the consequences later in life.

Women are emotional beings and as a man you have to be logical and make reasonable decisions.

My mother always hinted that I move only her and leave my father that he has been miserable all his life, giving several useless reasons, but alas both of them are in the new house.

I do think men should give money to their wives in front of their children, the one you give in the room, she usually claims it as hers, she may not be a bad mother or wife but that's how they are wired, once you let your guard down at old age they use it against you.

A friend of mine allowed his father die last month out of hunger, I really pity him because he's foolish and has been brainwashed by his mother, I usually give his old man money when I am around but when I came to town from a week travel, I was told he died and hunger was the cause 😥.

Unless my Father tried to kill my mother sometime ago, I don't see another reason why I won't help him, we all make mistakes and women do many mistakes too but cover it with emotional manipulations so you see them as victims or saints.

Some Foolish men think too high of their mothers and they assume they are always right instead of using their brains.

Kobojunkie:
Ok. But you are still an outsider as far as how the man interacted behind close doors with his family. Even evil men who build good relationship at home enjoy their company in old age.

maasoap:
Human beings are unpredictable. Know that and know peace.

flourishing247:
I don't say things I'm not sure of. There's a limit to pretence. I have known them for years. There's also a limit to what I can post here. All I'm saying is that when men marry e vi.l women, they suffer most when they are old. Do I really have pity for them? No! They are reaping what they both planted. They don't have peace of mind. Madam is waiting for oga to quench so she can balance and chop turkey everyday.

ejimatic:
It has been observed that many more crises are taking place in families nowadays. One of them is our focus here.

Many wives and children now abandon their husbands after the men retire. Some turn children against their fathers while some wives plan to kill their husbands so as to inherit their husband properties.

Why is it that wives want their husbands dead so as to inherit them? Why is it that when husbands are sicks WIves always try to know what is in the wills of their husbands? Why do wives abandon their husbands at the old age and pack to another apartment? Why do wives want to be in control of their husbands at the old age! Why do families crack when the old age is about to set in .

A man was abandoned by his wives and children so much so that he was crying for help in his apartment. When thean died the children slaughtered cows and painted the house.What do you think about this development? What is happening in the families now?

grandstar:
ejimatic

If they followed Bible principles when raising their kids and dealing with the wife, things will not generate to such an awful extent.

You reap what you sow.

Parents should be close to their children when they are growing. Fathers should also set examples for their children. Men should also love their wives and be faithful. Wives must also love their husband's and have deep respect for him.

I came from a polygamous home. My dad liked women. However, he ensured all his kids were close.

He was also very generous to people and many of his children developed that same quality

He wasn't abandoned when he was old.

When he was in his 80s with dementia, our first born brought him to London for a 2 months visit. I accompanied with my half sister. We came back 2 days before the British lock down that commenced on the 23rd of March or we would have been stuck there. Covid isn't safe for the elderly.

My dad is gone now. Though he did not leave a will, there are no fights amongst us.

muniralmaigida:
If the man in question didn't train his kids in school and try to make them successful. He shouldn't expect anything from them. Even dogs don't forget who catered for them . This days most women are there for the kids, while the men go whoring endlessly !

Ariketolu:
THIS HAS BEEN BOTH A COMMON CONCERN OF EVERY RESPONSIBLE MAN AS WELL AS A FAMILIAR TOPIC AMONG MEN THROUGH AGES, But unfortunately, it is a lost battle

Not long ago, I stumbled on a discussion in relation to how some women abandon their husbands at advanced ages and pitch their tents with their children under the guise of helping them to nurse their (children's) children. In some other cases, the men have been abandoned at old age by their wives because they felt it was 'pay back time' for unforgivable sins allegedly committed by the old man when he was younger. Such sins don't necessarily have anything to do with infidelity or taking a younger wife, but it's enough if the wife and the children all concluded he was too harsh with (or to) them when the marriage was younger or the children were growing up. They carefully elect to wait until the old man has retired and needs the company of his wife and the affection of the children most before they embark on a revenge mission!

In most, if not all, cases, the man must have worked day and night towards the physical, economic, and educational advancement of the family, most especially the children when they were growing up. Ironically, but for what the children now label as 'high-handedness', most, if not all, of them would have ended up as wayward children and unable to make anything worthwhile out of their lives. But they don't appreciate that!

The most painful part of it is that, the wife it was who used to obtain the children's submission to her 'dictations' by mentioning their Daddy's name each time they tended towards obstinacy! 'Your daddy is coming', 'your daddy will soon come', 'if you don't listen to me, I will report you to your daddy when he comes back', and so on. Expectedly, the children would not like to incur the wrath of their daddy, hence, they will 'maintain'! Where the children refused to listen to the mother and she was constrained to report them to the father, the father's reaction by way of punishment is what is now being used against the man as being too high-handed.

Another reason for the children's resentment towards their father is the mistaken impression that the father never contributed towards their education. While this can be true in some extreme cases where the father is irredeemably irresponsible, the truth is that in most other cases, because the father had to pursue money most of the time, he would give money for school fees and upkeep to the wife to go and settle whilst he goes 'hustling'. These facts are usually unknown to the children and the mother never told them it was their father who provided the money. Such children would later grow up and rebel against the father for his 'irresponsible' behaviours when they were growing up!

It will amount to over-generalisation to conclude that all women and children do this. Far from it! Recently, I was discussing with a former colleague in one of the banks where I previously worked. She told me that she was outside the country with Daddy. What for? One of their children just gave birth and both of them had travelled abroad to 'baby sit'! I think that's how it should be unless the old man elects not to travel!

Even in very extreme cases where the man had been beastly during the 'sinning' period, why should the woman wait until the husband's old age to 'pay him back'? Why not call it a day with the relationship when the man could still have been able to find someone with compatible behavioural patterns?

What Shall Men Do?

In the first place, a man must learn to be responsible and responsive in matrimonial homes! He must be actively involved in the children's affairs! Where some roles have been delegated to the mother, he should let the children be aware!

Second, no father must allow the woman to surreptitiously turn him into a masquerade in the estimation of the children. That you went out and you're returning home should be something that your children are looking forward to. If you continue to allow yourself to be portrayed as the family masquerade, in your old age you will definitely pay for it.

Furthermore, as a father, learn to correct your children in and with love. Let them know the reason a particular course of punishment was administered. Whatever level of punishment to be administered must be commensurate to the act of misdemeanour! Just like the Yorubas would say: 'Abéré ò gbudò sonù, ká lo gbé Ṣàngó síta'! Let the punishment fit the offence!

Finally, fathers must learn to provide for any 'incasity' at old age! In other words, learn not to eat with both hands. If you haven't been doing that before, start saving for the rainy day (old age) today. If your spouse and children decide to be supportive at old age, all well and good, but if it turns out to be otherwise, there will be no regrets. Times are changing fast too! The children also have their own lives to live. If anything comes from them to the parents at old age, fine, otherwise try and be prepared! Whatever you have as savings would eventually go to them upon your inevitable departure anyway. No parent knows the art of raising or bringing up children. Only God does!

This battle of mother and children in relation to men, in most cases, is a lost battle for men. You cannot win it. The most deceptive belief a man can have is to think that he knows everything that goes on under his roof. This is because there's usually a lot of 'Má jé kí Daddy ẹ ó mò tàbí gbó o' in all homes! In other words, 'don't let your daddy know or hear that o'! This usually exists between the mother and the children to the exclusion of the father! They understandably spend more time together than men do, no matter how hard the fathers try! I think it's unconscionable for any woman to 'conspire' with the children to dub her husband a devil after using him as a tool to train the children to achieve greatness! God bless our homes, Amen!

Caleb Arogundade

Kamsi04:
I will speak from experience, it's probably how the men acted in their prime. You cannot be bad to your wife and irresponsible to your kids and you expect them to care for you when you are old.
My dad is currently sick,so sick that he can't do anything without help,sick old people can be very stubborn, whenever my mom gets angry at my dad,she will just tell me
"Your dad was a wonderful man when he was healthy,I didn't lack anything nor did my family lack anything",I can't abandon him now that he's sick.
Even my me and my siblings,no matter what my father does to annoy us,we don't shout because we know it was brought upon by sickness and if not he wouldn't be that way. My brother every 2 or 3 days,will call my dad and ask him specifically what he wants,he will send the money to my mom,my mom will use it and prepare that same thing for my dad.

Men treat your families right,be there for them,you will enjoy your old age and children's wealth.

LadyRosa:
Easier said than done.
No matter the kind of money it won't solve loneliness in old age when family ain't around. Many of them pensionable old men are around my estate,some are retired into duplexes with their driver, dogs and dusty rooms.

They pay exorbitant prices for sex, they rarely enjoy.
They pay for for companionship, because no girl will stay that long with an old man.

One retired officer tried it, married a kaduna girl who packed and ran away with a young boy she met few blocks away in their street.

ejimatic:
It has been observed that many more crises are taking place in families nowadays. One of them is our focus here.

Many wives and children now abandon their husbands after the men retire. Some turn children against their fathers while some wives plan to kill their husbands so as to inherit their husband properties.

Why is it that wives want their husbands dead so as to inherit them? Why is it that when husbands are sicks WIves always try to know what is in the wills of their husbands? Why do wives abandon their husbands at the old age and pack to another apartment? Why do wives want to be in control of their husbands at the old age! Why do families crack when the old age is about to set in .

A man was abandoned by his wives and children so much so that he was crying for help in his apartment. When thean died the children slaughtered cows and painted the house.What do you think about this development? What is happening in the families now?

LadyRosa:
Easier said than done.
No matter the kind of money it won't solve loneliness in old age when family ain't around. Many of them pensionable old men are around my estate,some are retired into duplexes with their driver, dogs and dusty rooms.

They pay exorbitant prices for sex, they rarely enjoy.
They pay for for companionship, because no girl will stay that long with an old man.

One retired officer tried it, married a kaduna girl who packed and ran away with a young boy she met few blocks away in their street.

okomile:
If my husband falls down, I will not lift him up nor render any assistance.
Why?

When I was working, I was virtually d breadwinner, he then was amassing university degrees and associations.

Now, I don't have a job, I have turned to torn in his flesh.

Am patiently waiting to take my pounds of flesh

ChybuzzDD:
Unreasonable response.