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As A Married Man, Do You Sometimes Dream Of Leaving Your Family & Disappearing? - Family (8) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / As A Married Man, Do You Sometimes Dream Of Leaving Your Family & Disappearing? (25677 Views)

My Cousin Who Got Married Last Year July Is Actually Thinking Of Leaving / My Boyfriend Is On The Verge Of Leaving Me. Help! / My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man (2) (3) (4)

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Re: As A Married Man, Do You Sometimes Dream Of Leaving Your Family & Disappearing? by Kobojunkie: 11:05pm On Feb 14, 2023
TheCongo2:
■ Bro, what is this Northerners versus Southerners issue about ? There is only one Super Eagle Team and Not two.
1. Well, here is one more thing most Nigerians are ignorant of and that is while Northerners accept divorce en masse as a valid aspect of marriage --- they understand that marriage can go bad and as such divorce is an acceptable and sensible end in such a situation -- Southerners on the other hand hold on to an illusion resorting to abandonment when unable to continue with the delusion they created for themselves. undecided

1 Like

Re: As A Married Man, Do You Sometimes Dream Of Leaving Your Family & Disappearing? by TheCongo2: 11:12pm On Feb 14, 2023
Kobojunkie:
1. Well, here is one more thing most Nigerians are ignorant of and that is while Northerners accept divorce en masse as a valid aspect of marriage --- they understand that marriage can go bad and as such divorce is an acceptable and sensible end in such a situation -- Southerners on the other hand hold on to an illusion resorting to abandonment when unable to continue with the delusion they created for themselves. undecided

Bro ... divorce, abandon, quit, drop , give up ... aren't they pointing to the same thing ?

1 Like

Re: As A Married Man, Do You Sometimes Dream Of Leaving Your Family & Disappearing? by Kobojunkie: 11:19pm On Feb 14, 2023
TheCongo2:
Bro ... divorce, abandon, quit, drop , give up ... aren't they pointing to the same thing ?
They are not the same. Official divorce gives closure to all parties in the marriage where abandonment is a coward's way out and rightly criminalized. undecided

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Re: As A Married Man, Do You Sometimes Dream Of Leaving Your Family & Disappearing? by TheCongo2: 11:49pm On Feb 14, 2023
Kobojunkie:
They are not the same. Official divorce gives closure to all parties in the marriage where abandonment is a coward's way out and rightly criminalized. undecided

A lot of couples live together without any marriage certificate.
Then, we can't talk about official divorce in many cases.
Re: As A Married Man, Do You Sometimes Dream Of Leaving Your Family & Disappearing? by Kobojunkie: 11:51pm On Feb 14, 2023
TheCongo2:
A lot of couples live together without any marriage certificate.
Then, we can't talk about official divorce in many cases.
It is referred to as marriage or spousal abandonment obviously because it applies only as far as those who are legally married. undecided

1 Like

Re: As A Married Man, Do You Sometimes Dream Of Leaving Your Family & Disappearing? by Winterhaven(m): 1:18am On Feb 15, 2023
I know women of nowadays are nothing to write home about - selfish and only interested in our money and all - but it's petty and stuppid to disappear. If your marriage is no longer conducive, file for a divorce and move on. Who will take care of your kids after disappearing??
Re: As A Married Man, Do You Sometimes Dream Of Leaving Your Family & Disappearing? by guysbewise: 2:07am On Feb 15, 2023
Hassanmaye:

Without marriage will you be born to type gibberish?

With a condom you will not be here typing gibberish. THUNDER FIRE you for quoting me with an insult, since I have already warned you before you quoted me.
Re: As A Married Man, Do You Sometimes Dream Of Leaving Your Family & Disappearing? by Nobody: 2:21am On Feb 15, 2023
DearGorgeous:


It's a true life story of a man lifted from Facebook. Someone asked a question and the man's answer became a sensation.

The Op here would have acknowledged the source by pasting the link.


Haba! Facebook bawo? How and wen?

Be Kia ful ooo
Re: As A Married Man, Do You Sometimes Dream Of Leaving Your Family & Disappearing? by archbishop007(m): 3:44am On Feb 15, 2023
Hmm it's well with naija married men.
Re: As A Married Man, Do You Sometimes Dream Of Leaving Your Family & Disappearing? by tbliss22(m): 3:48am On Feb 15, 2023
TimT:
Lol...The reason why I love listening to Ups and Downs in Mariage life is because every relationship has a unique problem.....
In this case, it's already obvious the man is running away from his problems/responsibility.....
How could you as a man lie to your wife about going to work and travel out OMG!!!!!!
Okay let's agree with the man that the wife is not a good person, how about the children? Why can't you take the kids and run to anywhere
Well naturally, Everyman can father a child but NOT EVERY MAN CAN BE A DAD TO A CHILD....
In my opinion, let him go forever.....
If he needs kids, he is still potent, and I'm sure there are women there; so he can conceive...

God bless you my brother.... Any man who entertain such thought is purely a COWARD!!

You must have seen all this red flags in this woman but you ignored. He just shot himself on the foot showcasing himself as a bad father to his kids

1 Like

Re: As A Married Man, Do You Sometimes Dream Of Leaving Your Family & Disappearing? by Fearyourcreator: 4:35am On Feb 15, 2023
babaoo:

Wetin dis one they talk,are you married at all,I can't bet it's a big no, so plz don't put ur mouth for wetin u know get knowledge about abeg
If you are married , you are a mommy's boy...
Re: As A Married Man, Do You Sometimes Dream Of Leaving Your Family & Disappearing? by Fearyourcreator: 4:38am On Feb 15, 2023
TheCongo2:


This is a very wiseman who doesn't jump into judgment because he never walked into the man's shoes.
If you understand whats called peace of mind... Mehn! Its very difficult to come by in today's marriage... Many just kept quite ... They are dieing softly... Some women are very manipulative that even if families are involved ... They will blame the man over everything... And from the inside you know you aint at fault... Even saying sorry for not being wrong is killing...

1 Like

Re: As A Married Man, Do You Sometimes Dream Of Leaving Your Family & Disappearing? by Fearyourcreator: 4:43am On Feb 15, 2023
Kobojunkie:
The one judging you is the Law which declares you a criminal in the case you abandon your marriage. Even Northern herdsmen would not debase themselves to that level in marriage. So why many southerners do it believing they are just in their stewpidity is beyond me. undecided
I never support abadoning the family... Law see it as you portrayed here... Am talking from the emotional side ... It could happen to anyone... Now comparing north and south on top this matter weak me again... Bros make we die the matter ...
Re: As A Married Man, Do You Sometimes Dream Of Leaving Your Family & Disappearing? by Kobojunkie: 4:45am On Feb 15, 2023
Fearyourcreator:
■ If you understand whats called peace of mind... Mehn! Its very difficult to come by in today's marriage... Many just kept quite ... They are dieing softly...
■ Some women are very manipulative that even if families are involved ... They will blame the man over everything... And from the inside you know you aint at fault... Even saying sorry for not being wrong is killing...
1. Why are they dying this meaningless deaths that you claim? To whose honor? undecided

2. Did these manipulate women put guns to the heads of the men or what? Did the manipulative women manipulate government into rejecting divorce suits filed against them by the men? There is something called shame.... and these whining don pass that level..undecided

1 Like

Re: As A Married Man, Do You Sometimes Dream Of Leaving Your Family & Disappearing? by Kobojunkie: 4:48am On Feb 15, 2023
Fearyourcreator:
■ I never support abadoning the family... Law see it as you portrayed here... Am talking from the emotional side
■ ... It could happen to anyone... Now comparing north and south on top this matter weak me again... Bros make we die the matter ...
1. People wey know to file divorce when marriage no get heads or tails anymore dem no get emotional side?, undecided

2. It can happen to anyone yet na only southerners, and mostly southern men at that they employ abandonment as means of escaping marital vows like rats, how come?, undecided

1 Like

Re: As A Married Man, Do You Sometimes Dream Of Leaving Your Family & Disappearing? by Fearyourcreator: 5:31am On Feb 15, 2023
Kobojunkie:
1. People wey know to file divorce when marriage no get heads or tails anymore dem no get emotional side?, undecided

2. It can happen to anyone yet na only southerners, and mostly southern men at that they employ abandonment as means of escaping marital vows like rats, how come?, undecided
Okay

1 Like

Re: As A Married Man, Do You Sometimes Dream Of Leaving Your Family & Disappearing? by Fearyourcreator: 5:31am On Feb 15, 2023
Kobojunkie:
1. Why are they dying this meaningless deaths that you claim? To whose honor? undecided

2. Did these manipulate women put guns to the heads of the men or what? Did the manipulative women manipulate government into rejecting divorce suits filed against them by the men? There is something called shame.... and these whining don pass that level..undecided
Okay

1 Like

Re: As A Married Man, Do You Sometimes Dream Of Leaving Your Family & Disappearing? by DKM123: 5:42am On Feb 15, 2023
DKM123:
A typical Nigerian man wants a lady with good character even though they have very bad character.

He wants a faithful decent woman to marry even though he is a promiscuous cheat of a husband himself.


He wants a lady who will go to the market, serve and cook good meals for him daily even though he doesn't know how to cook those kind of food himself.

He wants a woman who is neat and ensures the house is sparkling clean even though he is a p!g who wears one boxers for 3 days..

He wants a lady who calls him Lord and head of their rented house even though he is not as intelligent or smart as she is.

He wants a lady with nice skin, flat belly and pointed boobs even though he is an uglee musheshe with GP tank tummy and uglee skin himself.


He demands optimum respect even though he disrespects his wife daily.

ETC ETC ETC ETC


Yet, the only part that he is responsible for which is the finance, he is still wailing that the woman must have money be4 he marries her .

I don't even want to add the other d!sgusting things Nigerian men do and ACT LIKE IT IS NORMAL like demanding sex wether or not wife is tired and correcting their grown up wives with slaps and cheating on thier pregnant wives.

So I ask, Oga Odogwu afamail, if you can't be the financier in the home, then what exactly do you Nigerian men bring to the table in this marriage thing that you say doesn't benefit men but only women.


1 Like

Re: As A Married Man, Do You Sometimes Dream Of Leaving Your Family & Disappearing? by babaoo: 5:56am On Feb 15, 2023
Kudos to the man for running,I will do the same 1000 times,call it coward or what ever English you wanna use to dis discribe it....the man took the best decision and he will have peace of mind,I will so the same without thinking of it twice if I have the mean... marriage is a waste of resources for a man...if can get a Babymama and get ur child or children off her...it's always the best saving urz from the drama of something claiming wife
Re: As A Married Man, Do You Sometimes Dream Of Leaving Your Family & Disappearing? by Maysdevices(f): 6:02am On Feb 15, 2023
Franzinni:
Women take note... All the cho cho cho you like to do in your home, always trying to out talk your husband, soliciting advice from your hair dresser and your pastor and other idiots who are single or in a hellish relationship, hellbent on bringing you down to thier wrenched level ... Take note. Or you will become the example...

There is little or no benefit in marriage for men and most men stay with you ONLY becasue of the kids... They will endure your BS till they develop stroke and die unappreciated.

Marriage is a scam... That is why they give you certificate without exam.

I just wanted to let you know that this goes both ways. Women only stay with men because of what they can provide. If most women could provide for themselves, most men will be single like they are in the west. Women don’t need anything from men apart from money. You men are no fairytale either.

You think you’re the only one that can walk out? Always abandoning women with your seeds so you can go live your lives when you feel you’re ‘tired’. Men are so lucky women are built with a ‘maternal softness’, a parental instinct far greater than that of a father’s.

These children that you claim to stay for bear their father’s last name. The fact that women sacrifice their lives and their marketabilities just to give you children that are yours, you must think it’s a joke. Why not take the kids and why must you leave them with her?

Men are lucky that all women are not like me, you want to end my life for kids that bear your last name? God knows you’ll take them with you, I will find my way too like you have found yours.

You lot like to act like you’re the only one that has sense.

2 Likes

Re: As A Married Man, Do You Sometimes Dream Of Leaving Your Family & Disappearing? by Franzinni: 6:50am On Feb 15, 2023
Maysdevices:


I just wanted to let you know that this goes both ways. Women only stay with men because of what they can provide. If most women could provide for themselves, most men will be single like they are in the west. Women don’t need anything from men apart from money. You men are no fairytale either.

You think you’re the only one that can walk out? Always abandoning women with your seeds so you can go live your lives when you feel you’re ‘tired’. Men are so lucky women are built with a ‘maternal softness’, a parental instinct far greater than that of a father’s.

These children that you claim to stay for bear their father’s last name. The fact that women sacrifice their lives and their marketabilities just to give you children that are yours, you must think it’s a joke. Why not take the kids and why must you leave them with her?

Men are lucky that all women are not like me, you want to end my life for kids that bear your last name? God knows you’ll take them with you, I will find my way too like you have found yours.

You lot like to act like you’re the only one that has sense.
men are logical beings, we are far far more happy around our male friends becasue men don't need to play the type treacherous games women play amongst themselves. Men know the consequences of playing games and so we coexist very easily, that is why women even prefer male friends.

Even women don't like to be around women..and as to the lonely men in the west, the fact that they are embracing being single, has made them the most happy that they have been ... Ever !!! The major reason men use to be so foolish with women was becasue there was no pool of information to teach men about the nature of women but thanks to the internet, that is history. You can keep your head in the sand and ignore the signs, but it's getting real cold for women in a place that feels just right at home for men.

Someone once asked what a woman provides for a man that a cook, a maid, and a hooker can't?

Guys focus on yourself!!! Women choose based on status and value so don't waste your time trying to beg a woman to notice you and end up as a fossil in her DMs.

Build yourself into something desirable and then you and only you get to set the rules in your KINGdom!!!

4 Likes

Re: As A Married Man, Do You Sometimes Dream Of Leaving Your Family & Disappearing? by Hassanmaye(m): 6:52am On Feb 15, 2023
guysbewise:


With a condom you will not be here typing gibberish. THUNDER FIRE you for quoting me with an insult, since I have already warned you before you quoted me.
I have forgiven you but when you become old marriage will be your number 1, who will take care of you?
Re: As A Married Man, Do You Sometimes Dream Of Leaving Your Family & Disappearing? by Maysdevices(f): 7:19am On Feb 15, 2023
Franzinni:
men are logical beings, we are far far more happy around our male friends becasue men don't need to play the type treacherous games women play amongst themselves. Men know the consequences of playing games and so we coexist very easily, that is why women even prefer male friends.

Even women don't like to be around women..and as to the lonely men in the west, the fact that they are embracing being single, has made them the most happy that they have been ... Ever !!! The major reason men use to be so foolish with women was becasue there was no pool of information to teach men about the nature of women but thanks to the internet, that is history. You can keep your head in the sand and ignore the signs, but it's getting real cold for women in a place that feels just right at home for men.

Someone once asked what a woman provides for a man that a cook, a maid, and a hooker can't?

Guys focus on yourself!!! Women choose based on status and value so don't waste your time trying to beg a woman to notice you and end up as a fossil in her DMs.

Build yourself into something desirable and then you and only you get to set the rules in your KINGdom!!!

You just said men need still need a hooker, a maid and a cook which still would all be women.

What does man need from a woman apart from money?


I’m not interested enough in the conversation enough to prove it but it’s is quite obvious that once the money part is provided, women stay on their own while men can’t no matter how much you want to tell yourself you can.

Whether you like it or not, men go hunting for women, not the other way around.

undecided

2 Likes

Re: As A Married Man, Do You Sometimes Dream Of Leaving Your Family & Disappearing? by Franzinni: 7:30am On Feb 15, 2023
Maysdevices:

You just said men need still need a hooker, a maid and a cook which still would all be women.

What does man need from a woman apart from money?


I’m not interested enough in the conversation enough to prove it but it’s is quite obvious that once the money part is provided, women stay on their own while men can’t no matter how much you want to tell yourself you can.

Whether you like it or not, men go hunting for women, not the other way around.

undecided
let me tell you that women need men first and foremost for security, stability and protection... Listen, the only reason you have this mentality is becasue it is safe in the part of the world you live, the moment that balance is disturbed you would quickly run to a man to defend, and protect you ... Women especially this generation are the most ungrateful set of humans to ever be recorded. You ask what is the value of a man ... While enjoying the world built by men.

Men are dying in Russia and Ukraine and no feminist find it necessary to protest inequality but the bubblegum heads in the west are clamouring for equality and now ... You have it haha. Enjoy it !!!
Re: As A Married Man, Do You Sometimes Dream Of Leaving Your Family & Disappearing? by delishpot: 7:32am On Feb 15, 2023
litigator:
He he told his wife he was going to work as usual and might be working late since it was a Friday.

Like previous times, his wife felt he was out drinking with friends and will be back the next morning. But he never did. He simply sold his car that afternoon, took an 11pm flight and never came back.

They had considered him missing and was about filing a missing person claim save for his best friend who had the courage to tell the wife that her husband wasn’t missing. He simply disappeared willingly into thin air.

It was after 3 months a strange number called her to ask after the kids. It was their father who had disappeared from work and traumatized his family.

He now wants to be in the life of his kids, but he is done with his wife. He is never coming back her. He feels she is a destiny killer who married him best he had the capacity to provide and not because she loved him.

The wife can’t help but ask where she went wrong in her marriage and what she wasn’t doing right.

According to him, he felt his wife was simply using him as a provider and a means of financial security. She never truly loved him.

He didn’t want the messy stuff of moving out into another part of the city and the attendant family meetings with everyone trying to convince him to stay.

He felt disappearing to another country where he will be able to start all over again and rebuild his life was the best thing to do.

Have you ever thought of leaving your family and disappearing into another part of the world to start all over again?

Why?

Rubbish. He should go and die. Was he the only one that sacrificed for the family?
Re: As A Married Man, Do You Sometimes Dream Of Leaving Your Family & Disappearing? by delishpot: 7:36am On Feb 15, 2023
Franzinni:
let me tell you that women need men first and foremost for security, stability and protection... Listen, the only reason you have this mentality is becasue it is safe in the part of the world you live, the moment that balance is disturbed you would quickly run to a man to defend, and protect you ... Women especially this generation are the most ungrateful set of humans to ever be recorded. You ask what is the value of a man ... While enjoying the world built by men.

[s]Men are dying in Russia and Ukraine and no feminist find it necessary to protest inequality but the bubblegum heads in the west are clamouring for equality and now ... You have it haha. Enjoy it[/s] !!!

Who created the situation killing men in Russia and Ukraine? Women? Those men dying on both fronts, who sent them to go and die? Women? If it was left to Russian and Ukrainian women in general, do you think they would agree for their children to go and fight to the death? Maybe men who claim to be better should rise up and think how the world can keep peace instead.

1 Like

Re: As A Married Man, Do You Sometimes Dream Of Leaving Your Family & Disappearing? by Franzinni: 8:14am On Feb 15, 2023
delishpot:


Who created the situation killing men in Russia and Ukraine? Women? Those men dying on both fronts, who sent them to go and die? Women? If it was left to Russian and Ukrainian women in general, do you think they would agree for their children to go and fight to the death? Maybe men who claim to be better should rise up and think how the world can keep peace instead.
exactly! it's MEN that keep the world spinning, good or bad ... And we don't complain about it we just play out part and keep pushing. Like I said enjoy your masculinity, it doesn't really bother men... Infact it only enhances our choices becasue a bricklayer can now date a female doctor if HE chooses, never in history has women been so easy to sleep with too ... And you think men are bothered ?

Who bares the consequences of pregnancy? It's even in our interest to just pump and dump and on to the next to pump and dump again ... You don't even know the half of it
Re: As A Married Man, Do You Sometimes Dream Of Leaving Your Family & Disappearing? by Exceed15: 8:46am On Feb 15, 2023
Franzinni:
Women take note... All the cho cho cho you like to do in your home, always trying to out talk your husband, soliciting advice from your hair dresser and your pastor and other idiots who are single or in a hellish relationship, hellbent on bringing you down to thier wrenched level ... Take note. Or you will become the example...

There is little or no benefit in marriage for men and most men stay with you ONLY becasue of the kids... They will endure your BS till they develop stroke and die unappreciated.

Marriage is a scam... That is why they give you certificate without exam.

Oil no go finish for ur head bro.
Re: As A Married Man, Do You Sometimes Dream Of Leaving Your Family & Disappearing? by Exceed15: 8:54am On Feb 15, 2023
Hmm... Very educative. Wait till you u find yourself in big shit as a man , that's when u can ascertain the genuinety of your wife's love. Men, pls if the pressure is getting too much , don't die foolishly.. go to where u will find peace. They are not worth holding onto with your life.
Re: As A Married Man, Do You Sometimes Dream Of Leaving Your Family & Disappearing? by Wawelexy(m): 8:56am On Feb 15, 2023
Osobi32:
pls shut up.... Have u any idea what men go through in their various homes? Are u even aware that most men are suffering and smiling? Because men don't speak up and u all think everything is alright with us. Bia be very careful before vomiting rubbish! Many men have died trying to man up. The society made us believe that it is our responsibility to provide for the family and carry all the burdens, yet the ladies we marry take full advantage of this previlage to abuse us and talk down on us. Men suffer emotionally, psychologically, mentally and otherwise. Too much expectations from a man yet we are not appreciated. A man will labour all his youthful years, he will get married and start to raise kids and later in life when the kids are all grown they will focus on their mother. Have u wondered why the society has more widows than widowers! Try dey get sense ooo

You sound like a fool ..... Is marriage a do or die affair, and who told you running away will bring you peace... Why am I even explaining to someone who can even think deep before spilling out trash...

When they say be emotionally, financially and psychologically ready before jumping into marriage, its people like you that ignore because of peer pressure... Rubbish

1 Like

Re: As A Married Man, Do You Sometimes Dream Of Leaving Your Family & Disappearing? by MichaelBlake40: 8:57am On Feb 15, 2023
Klass99:


I think women feel this way more than men do, because we have been mostly sold a pipe dream (as women) that marriage and kids bring joy and fufilment. And without these things we will be forever doomed, unhappy and unfulfilled.

So, what do most of us do? We actively pursue this dream or mirage of bliss and fulfilment only to get it, then realize, we are not bursting with joy, we are not happy or fulfilled, like we were told we would be.

Then we want out, but we are afraid of what people will say, the stigma of divorce or being called a bad mother who cannot endure for the sake of her children.

I strongly agree.
Re: As A Married Man, Do You Sometimes Dream Of Leaving Your Family & Disappearing? by Dagrace01(m): 10:20am On Feb 15, 2023
Just what I'm thinking of doing right now..
Bills is choking and I lost my loan app job based on FCCPC witch hunt last year.
Trying to start a business, nowhere to get loan despite all the efforts I put up.
Very depressing!

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