₦airaland Forum

Bro, let her know, she once said; marriage was between a man and his wife only. For now, let her mother go and live somewhere else, for a long time from now.

Thank God it happened to you first, Let the mother stay separately from you guys, get her a care giver to take care of her. If you allow her stay with you then sense is far away from you and your mom should be ashamed of you as a son in her grave. You disappoint the woman

I understand d situation you find yourself,
Let your wife read Book of Mathew 7 vs 13
Quote: All things, therefore that you want men to do to u, you also must do to them. This in fact, is what the law and and the prophet means.

If you allow her mother to stay with you, she will not remorse , rather teach your children the characters, but if you refuse, she will teach learn her lesson

I told you to stop asking me questions and answer my question.

Don't you have a reading skill?

shantti:
Manipulator, reverse psychologist.
Why did u deem the man incapable of caring for his mum, why. Did he tell you he can't nurse his sick mother. Did he said so in any of the write up. Why did u assume what was not inferred.

There is nothing wrong with the op not letting his mother in law in his house. U aren't even condemning what his wife did. What is wrong with you people?

I can boldly say that wives are the reason there are not extended family union anymore. They have destroyed the true meaning of family and men and not created to live that way. No wonder most men are suffering. Wives have a way of pretending to be spiritual and calling every in law a threat and mother-in-laws witches. God help us men. There are still good women out there though

ozalogbo:
I am the first child of my mother, and I have two younger male siblings. I am doing well financially. My wife is the last of four children in her family. My dad died when I was still in the university, and this affected my mum.

However, as she aged, her health waned. She was a retired teacher. My brothers are not in the country. Both of them are in Europe. I wanted to have my mother stay with me in her later years because of her health and loneliness but my wife did not want it.

Whenever she was ill and I brought her home to be with us, my wife was usually hostile, especially if my mum had stayed beyond a week. She did not hid her disapproval, and this caused problems in the marriage. People advised that I should send my mum away and pay someone to live with her and take care of her. They said that marriage was between a man and his wife, not between a man, his wife, and his mother. I did and peace returned. Eventually my mum passed on after a few years.

Along the line, my father in law also died. And down the line, my mother in law's health began to deteriorate. We live in the same town. Among my wife's siblings she is the only one doing quite well. Now there are suggestions that the mother should come and live with us so that my wife can give her proper care. I believe that her living with us and seeing her grandchildren will help her. And indeed i have no problem accepting her, but when i remember the treatment my wife gave to my mum, there is a strong revulsion, in fact, anger in me. I shared with a friend, and he advised i forgive my wife, but the revulsion is so strong that i would feel cheated if i agreed.

What do you guys think. She reminded me then that marriage was between a man and his wife only. Shouldn't this also apply to my wife now?

ASHAWO NA ASHAWO FORGET CHANGE OR MARITAL STATUS. IF ASHAWO MEET WOMAN WHEN NOR DO ASHAWO AND RAISE SON WHEN SHE DE BENEFIT FROM, COME EVEN MARRY.... SHE DE HATE AM FOR NO REASON. YOU DOUBT ABI? OGA NA ASHAWO YOU MARRY. ENHHHHHH MY MAMA..... I BURY FULL NATION. SHE DE SEE YOUR MAMA AS EX-RAY SAY SHE GO CAST AM.... NA ASHAWO YOU MARRY. ANIMAL

Rooy57:
Don't mind those Foolish men that litters everywhere claiming to be wise and wanting peace. Which kind yeye peace be that? She set the rules. Give her back as e dey hot. I won't even entertain such nonsense

They are the cause of all these mannerless wives everywhere now.

You would see married women with no single respect or empathy for anybody in the streets or at work.

They behave anyhow.

It starts from the home of a weak husband.

For how long will you beqr tg8s grudge?

This kind story dey pepper me for body

it is only a weakling that will be seeking advice on this issue . a remote controlled man

madridguy:
You permitted your wife to kick away your paradise. I will not say anything rather than advise you to start praying to God for forgiveness. A good son will send away the evil thing you call a wife.

If you know what is good for you, start looking for a secondwife somewhere otherwise you will bite your fingers in your old age. I won't say more than that.

Best advice
Matured one for dat matter but will
d OP listen

WHICH KIND YEYE THING BE THAT? IF YOU ALLOW THAT WOMAN ENTER THAT HOUSE EVEN FOR ONE NIGHT I GO KNOW SAY THEM DON USE YOUR MANNESS FINISH. I LIKE MYSELF SHA!

Nitoriolohun1:
WOMEN SHA !!!

Forgive but never forget, I expected your wife to be more civil and never let such discussion or arrangement get to you not to talk of the fact that you are considering it maybe you should or not.

In fact if you do God will punish you !!!

You allowed your mother died an untimely death courtesy your wife, YES !!! untimely death because loneliness kills faster than a bullet

I was discussing with a lady recently and she said she's praying her mother in-law is dead before getting to marry any man that will come for her and I said to her immediately you will never see your grandchildren too

Apostle was right, truly marriage comes with alot of problems.

OP, I repeat God will punish you if you allow your mother in-law in your house. Bunch of selfish souls

Shout out to all women that are still humane, God bless you all.

unfortunately, more than 90% of women wish they had no mother-in-law. It is a cycle, they will be in the same situation soon too.

EriMma1:
I would have told you to do what is in your mind but then, it wasn't the mother who offended you but your wife. Besides you had the choice to let your mother stay with you but you succumbed to your wife and let her will prevail. So don't treat the old woman badly because of her daughters sins.

Forgive and let the old woman come. After all she would be the one to do all the care job, not you.

Who do you think taught the wife how to behave like that?

donaldchidi:
My brother, I saying parents should not stay more than necessary no mean u should not take care of them and is not a must that is only in ur huz ur parents must be taken care of...
Besides I don't think your married yet to know what am saying Sha but anyhow very soon you will

While growing up as a child, if your parents travel or even go to work, there's this sense of loneliness and boredom you feel especially if you're very close to your parents. Same thing happens to old people when they are of age. There need a companion, especially their own children and grandchildren to stay healthy. The wife was cruel to the poor woman and that was because the woman's son succumbed to his wife's shenanigans. If she's honest and conscientious, she wouldn't even muster the courage to discuss that with her husband because she was hostile towards her mother inlaw. However, the bible tells us to forgive, so he can forgive but if he chooses not, still fine!

One thing I will say to you is this, if you forgive a woman for what she knows she is not suppose to be forgiven for, she will end up punishing you for it. Do accordingly to what she did to you. You have forgiven her but she should pay someone to take care of her mother somewhere else.

.

ojun50:
Discuss with her and remind her how she treated yr mum, then tell her to give you time to think about it.

In the end still allow her mother to come and stay for peace and unity.

Every married man should understand that the wife is not your blood so expect anything expectable but is children is his blood.

E be be like make I woos u slap. Did u read well what the guy narrate all ? Let her reap what she sowed and the feel the pain and ill treatment toward the poor mother in-law. There's nothing to discuss.

Samantha124:
I told you to stop asking me questions and answer my question.

Don't you have a reading skill?

Oh my questions brings out your hypocrisy right.

Typical of you lot to shift the goal post. And if you can't find your answer in that my question, then I fear for your I.Q. cos it must be too low

CSTRR:
Who do you think taught the wife how to behave like that?

How can you be so sure about that? Lets not conclude ooo mama don old. The op should just allow her for the short time she still has to live to avoid a lifetime of regrets and guilt if anything happens to mama as a result of his refusal.

I know the mother I have.

If she finds out that my wife did not allow her stay, but allowed her own mother.

She will never forgive me.
She won't even quarrel with my wife, it's me that will face her wrath.

MrBrownJay1:
if the above is how your wife felt about your own mother coming to stay with you guys, then she has NO RIGHT to expect her own mother to come stay with you guys... NONE!

God bless you my brother
Oil no go finish for ur head..

Most women in Nigeria fail to realize the basic concept that they are married into the man's family and not the other way around. It is actually left for men to drill this into them but most men are not man enough to this responsibility.

I won't advice you on what to do because I presume you will be too weak to do it. A man that will chase his mother from his home for doing no wrong because his wife doesn't want it is a disgrace of a son/man.

As for me, I'm living very comfortably with my wife and 2 of her siblings. Her parents and siblings are welcomed anytime too. This is because none of my immediate or distant relative has ever complained of not being treated properly when they get to my place even in my absence. I'm like a plane mirror that reflect whatever someone throws at me.

It’s always women supporting Evil . Bro do not let her mum live with you . Your dead mother will curse you from her grave . The universe will curse the day you were born . How can you let a woman chase your sick mom away knowing you’re the only child around . Now you want to take care of someone else mother . It’s a shame she gave birth to someone like you . A shame

frozen70:
I understand how you feel about her treatment to your mum and eventually she passed on because she didn't get the care you have planned for her due to your wife refusal to cooperate with her

Now it's her mums turn, just allow her to come the one let her provide her needs while you focus on the family needs as usual

What she denied you off is what she is requesting your approval to get, such is life

Your refusal may react to another thing

Samantha124:
Who are you to tell me to get out? Seun Osewa?

This is not your forum or your grandmama's forum, so shut the hell up if you have nothing better to say.

And last time I checked, I was asking op, not you.

comot mouth for Nigeria matter you this slut of a thing forming big girl on faceless forum...Are you from this countryLeave Nigeria forum alone nah.

Starships4u:
E be like make I even use my hand invoke the thunder make e help strike this guy wife small....

People are just heartless shaaa

e be like make I locate the guy den beat the hell out him. Why man no go get sense at all.

EriMma1:
How can you be so sure about that? Lets not conclude ooo mama don old. The op should just allow her for the short time she still has to live to avoid a lifetime of regrets and guilt if anything happens to mama as a result of his refusal.

You are only saying this because the husband's mother is dead.

If she were alive to see this injustice, na serious wahala go sup.

Go ahead and make me leave..😂😂😂

Aklee4994:
comot mouth for Nigeria matter you this slut of a thing forming big girl on faceless forum...Are you from this countryLeave Nigeria forum alone nah.

Klass99:
. This is one of the reasons I smile and shake my head when people want to kill themselves over the fact that they don't have children or they haven't given birth yet after a few years of marriage.

These parents you say should not stay with their married children beyond 3 days for a visit and should not stay beyond 1 week in case of a health challenge are the same people who were there when you had nothing, when you were a baby and helpless, they could have crushed you or mistreated you, but no, they did their duty by you and they did it well too.

While I think I understand your view, these sort of rules only make sense for extremely troublesome parents or in-laws who like to cause tension or drive a wedge between couples with their blood is thicker than water mantra, a toxic attitude etc. Not all parents are problematic or bad, neither do most deserve this sort of treatment from their own offspring. Like seriously, what the hell?

Some of you married folks on this forum leave me in shock and awe with your take on issues and it amuses me to no end when you guys turn around again to ask others if they are married or even call them kids because of a difference in opinions.

Sense full your head

Neweramify:
Op your wife was wrong, but try and understand her fear. Most women feel inconvenient around their mother inlaw. Not because she hates her mother inlaw but for the fear of the unknown.

Let her know how you feel knowing she wanna bring her mum in when she rejected your mum. I'm sure she will feel remorse of her action.

Permit her to bring her mum, cause if anything happen to the old woman, she may accuse you of one thing or the other.

You are definitely one of those heartless women, no excuse for that wickedness you call fear or whatever rubbish. Flip it, would you like your son’s wife to treat you that way? You later complain your men don’t love you, they can’t. Most husbands are hurt but just for the sake of children and most importantly heaven they let it go and live with your devilish asses but I will never blame a man who dissolves his marriage cos of such injustice. Women should learn to be tolerant and love truely. Most women don’t really love in my own opinion, if you love your husband only and not his family that’s not love, call it something else. It’s demonic and sadly it’s so prevalent.

grandstar:
ozalogbo

Though I am 100% in support of forgiveness, the double standard is revolting.

Joseph did despite the evil his brothers did him, did not immediately forgive his brothers. It was only when he tested them and realized that they had changed, he completely forgave them.

Please note that your wife may be unrepentant to the end. Some people are shameless hypocrites down to the end.

I have a female cousin who told me her husband's people would be unwelcome in her house but her kin are 100% welcome. Horrid double standards!

Just do anything that would bring peace and long life to your marriage. Its' success is what matters.

I swear by God if this is what is going to end the marriage then let it be.

Nice2023:
I often try to balance issues.

Remind ur wife what she did to ur mum and go ahead to say No to whomever is thinking in that direction.

If u disrespect my mum and dad...I will never have anything to do with u anymore especially in things like this.

Even a married wife

ozalogbo:
I am the first child of my mother, and I have two younger male siblings. I am doing well financially. My wife is the last of four children in her family. My dad died when I was still in the university, and this affected my mum.

However, as she aged, her health waned. She was a retired teacher. My brothers are not in the country. Both of them are in Europe. I wanted to have my mother stay with me in her later years because of her health and loneliness but my wife did not want it.

Whenever she was ill and I brought her home to be with us, my wife was usually hostile, especially if my mum had stayed beyond a week. She did not hid her disapproval, and this caused problems in the marriage. People advised that I should send my mum away and pay someone to live with her and take care of her. They said that marriage was between a man and his wife, not between a man, his wife, and his mother. I did and peace returned. Eventually my mum passed on after a few years.

Along the line, my father in law also died. And down the line, my mother in law's health began to deteriorate. We live in the same town. Among my wife's siblings she is the only one doing quite well. Now there are suggestions that the mother should come and live with us so that my wife can give her proper care. I believe that her living with us and seeing her grandchildren will help her. And indeed i have no problem accepting her, but when i remember the treatment my wife gave to my mum, there is a strong revulsion, in fact, anger in me. I shared with a friend, and he advised i forgive my wife, but the revulsion is so strong that i would feel cheated if i agreed.

What do you guys think. She reminded me then that marriage was between a man and his wife only. Shouldn't this also apply to my wife now?

I go swear for you if you agree . I experienced that and I served my own back very hot. As I am typing, my M-inlaw cannot even sleep a night.