davidadenrele:
Brotherly,

In as much to err is human and to forgive is divine I will advice that you should not accept your mother in law into your home, what goes around comes around, I said this because your late mum spirit will never let you rest, your wife should be taught a lesson, if you allow this to sly she will justify her reasons and that will make your more angry later without realizing the length and consequence of her actions, if I were in your shoes I will sit her down and let her know but it will never backed down on my decision even if the heaven falls.

Some women don't learn this should serve as a hard lessons for her, tomorrow don't be surprised if another close family of hers falls sick she will still want you to consider them to come live in your house support her financially in taken care of her mum but never allow her mum to be in your house my 50 cent piece of advice to you.

forgiveness doesn’t mean he should forget, what is good for the goose should also be good for the gander

ojun50:
Discuss with her and remind her how she treated yr mum, then tell her to give you time to think about it.

In the end still allow her mother to come and stay for peace and unity.

Every married man should understand that the wife is not your blood so expect anything expectable but is children is his blood.

Allow wetin?? God forbid bad thing. Do you know what it means that your wife never allowed your own mother to live with you? Now your own mother has passed on, and she wants her own mom to live with you, I cam never allow such rather let thr marriage scatter. Do you know the hurt that is going through that young man's heart?

I still wonder how i will be the owner of a house ( rented or owned) and my mother.....my precious mother will be tormented by a woman I married ( paid for) and brought into my home and I will send my mother away for peace to reign as someone said marriage is between husband and wife.

Na wah ohhhhh......Men are no longer Men in this generation

cococandy:
@bold and I responded that it’s not the reality for a majority of families. As far as real life is concerned women provide too. Your fake expertise in data analytics doesn’t change those facts . I don’t know what’s difficult for you to understand there.

2) we are talking about sick parents in this case aren’t we? You’re using men are providing as a justification as to why they can’t be the one’s actually caring for their sick parents. So proving my point that y’all will find a way to shift the responsibility to someone else. I don’t see how you’re agreeing with me yet arguing against my point.

I know it’s more convenient for you to accuse me of justifying women being mean to their in-laws as you implied than to openly agree that when most men get married, they assume and take it for granted that their wives are going to be responsible for caring for the parents if necessary.

Lmao fake expertise I’m sure you never written a programming language, let alone know what Python, power BI, panda, numpy , anaconda, SQL etc are. So it’s easier to know fake data expert.

You mentioned women provide for the house same ratio as men 50:50, which is ridiculous cos you ain’t truthful to yourself if you think this is applicable in Nigeria.

You really sounding like those small girls with no understanding cos if not a man that goes to work e.g for someone that stays in Lagos leaves home early and returns late, how will be available to give 💯 care to the parents ? Or he should quit his job to take care of her ? If the lady brings her parents to the house will she be the one to foot all the bills incurred ?

Can you tell your dad that he should be the one taking care of his mother if she’s still alive despite his busy schedules or having the means to employ someone that can do it timely ?

Since you all over the place and argue blindly or just arguing for the sake of argument you can seek counsel and ask your dad how he would have felt if your mum maltreated his mother.

Tit for tat
U would be a fool to let her mother come into ur mum.
That shd be her own karma.
Don't let anyone play u guilt that you shd forgive.
Your wife has to deal with ur capital NO.

Dis guy is a nonsense man without proper sense of reasoning.
If a have a wife and am financial stable who is my wife to reject my own sick mum in my home. My mum can stay as long as she can until she regain her health very simple.

You allow your wife to send your mum packing upon she is ill. You are an idiot to the highest other. Infact ,your wife is feeding you and you are a lazy man stop boosting that you are financially balance .

If my wife reject my own blood in our home the same treated will go to her own blood relative Incase they wish to come to our home. Very simple and your wife is a wicked woman and she doesn't deserve soft treatment.

EriMma1:
I would have told you to do what is in your mind but then, it wasn't the mother who offended you but your wife. Besides you had the choice to let your mother stay with you but you succumbed to your wife and let her will prevail. So don't treat the old woman badly because of her daughters sins.

Forgive and let the old woman come. After all she would be the one to do all the care job, not you.

Did the old woman intervene when the daughter was applying the rule of marriage is for only the man and woman?
He should do to her her what she did to him.
If she can dish it out, she can receive it.

Neweramify:
Op your wife was wrong, but try and understand her fear. Most women feel inconvenient around their mother inlaw. Not because she hates her mother inlaw but for the fear of the unknown.

Let her know how you feel knowing she wanna bring her mum in when she rejected your mum. I'm sure she will feel remorse of her action.

Permit her to bring her mum, cause if anything happen to the old woman, she may accuse you of one thing or the other.

This gender sha, see how you cornered the innocent man. Read your comment again and see if it's fair. Well, it's always good to know that no one has monopoly to violence.

Neweramify:
Op your wife was wrong, but try and understand her fear. Most women feel inconvenient around their mother inlaw. Not because she hates her mother inlaw but for the fear of the unknown.

Let her know how you feel knowing she wanna bring her mum in when she rejected your mum. I'm sure she will feel remorse of her action.

Permit her to bring her mum, cause if anything happen to the old woman, she may accuse you of one thing or the other.

Can't the man be afraid of the unknown too?
Was the wife worried about what will happen to the mother inlaw?
The man should do what's in his mind.

I hardly beg when people refused me something or ask for apology when you offend me (it has to come naturally), because I I'll make you feel what I felt when the opportunity arises.
I forgive easily when you make me feel it's not deliberate at the point...

ozalogbo:
I am the first child of my mother, and I have two younger male siblings. I am doing well financially. My wife is the last of four children in her family. My dad died when I was still in the university, and this affected my mum.

However, as she aged, her health waned. She was a retired teacher. My brothers are not in the country. Both of them are in Europe. I wanted to have my mother stay with me in her later years because of her health and loneliness but my wife did not want it.

Whenever she was ill and I brought her home to be with us, my wife was usually hostile, especially if my mum had stayed beyond a week. She did not hid her disapproval, and this caused problems in the marriage. People advised that I should send my mum away and pay someone to live with her and take care of her. They said that marriage was between a man and his wife, not between a man, his wife, and his mother. I did and peace returned. Eventually my mum passed on after a few years.

Along the line, my father in law also died. And down the line, my mother in law's health began to deteriorate. We live in the same town. Among my wife's siblings she is the only one doing quite well. Now there are suggestions that the mother should come and live with us so that my wife can give her proper care. I believe that her living with us and seeing her grandchildren will help her. And indeed i have no problem accepting her, but when i remember the treatment my wife gave to my mum, there is a strong revulsion, in fact, anger in me. I shared with a friend, and he advised i forgive my wife, but the revulsion is so strong that i would feel cheated if i agreed.

What do you guys think. She reminded me then that marriage was between a man and his wife only. Shouldn't this also apply to my wife now?

seriously I am so angry with the so called woman you called wife. Dejected the woman that accepted her into the family and expect ur full love for her and her family

As for her mom, play your part well for God

Let intention be "You are doing your role for God and not her

If you eventually allowed her mother to stay with you,your mother will be cursing you from her grave and you'll regret this for the rest of your life....

You are a man, use your head .

What's good for the goose is also good for the gander

50/50 no cheating.

MrBrownJay1:


if the above is how your wife felt about your own mother coming to stay with you guys, then she has NO RIGHT to expect her own mother to come stay with you guys... NONE!

God bless you in multiple folds

Your dad died and your mum took care of you and your siblings, she was there for you through all the struggles and you allowed a lady you got married to, to dictate her last days. It’s only God that would judge you that you are even considering to allow her mum to enjoy what she denied your own biological mother that gave birth to you and raised you. I don’t know you should be ashamed of yourself.

Bro try to disagree with her first and what she will do her action towards that will give u Ur decision

ozalogbo:
I am the first child of my mother, and I have two younger male siblings. I am doing well financially. My wife is the last of four children in her family. My dad died when I was still in the university, and this affected my mum.

However, as she aged, her health waned. She was a retired teacher. My brothers are not in the country. Both of them are in Europe. I wanted to have my mother stay with me in her later years because of her health and loneliness but my wife did not want it.

Whenever she was ill and I brought her home to be with us, my wife was usually hostile, especially if my mum had stayed beyond a week. She did not hid her disapproval, and this caused problems in the marriage. People advised that I should send my mum away and pay someone to live with her and take care of her. They said that marriage was between a man and his wife, not between a man, his wife, and his mother. I did and peace returned. Eventually my mum passed on after a few years.

Along the line, my father in law also died. And down the line, my mother in law's health began to deteriorate. We live in the same town. Among my wife's siblings she is the only one doing quite well. Now there are suggestions that the mother should come and live with us so that my wife can give her proper care. I believe that her living with us and seeing her grandchildren will help her. And indeed i have no problem accepting her, but when i remember the treatment my wife gave to my mum, there is a strong revulsion, in fact, anger in me. I shared with a friend, and he advised i forgive my wife, but the revulsion is so strong that i would feel cheated if i agreed.

What do you guys think. She reminded me then that marriage was between a man and his wife only. Shouldn't this also apply to my wife now?

Neweramify:
Op your wife was wrong, but try and understand her fear. Most women feel inconvenient around their mother inlaw. Not because she hates her mother inlaw but for the fear of the unknown.

Let her know how you feel knowing she wanna bring her mum in when she rejected your mum. I'm sure she will feel remorse of her action.

Permit her to bring her mum, cause if anything happen to the old woman, she may accuse you of one thing or the other.

this is wrong advice. Seems like what u can do.

I don't need your prayers.

And stalking someone is a criminal offence because only psychopaths do it.

That's creepy and you should be praying that God restores your sanity because you're the one who needs help.

Aklee4994:
I always think 💭 you’re a deep thinker that is just the reason why I stalk your moniker but unfortunately you keep disappoint yourself here but I know you’re not this way before I just pray God restore your sanity to normal functioning...My good friend.

Op repay evil with evil. No caps

How can you identify when a person is stupid and dumb?

Let's start from there.

iInjureHerYansh:
Op ignored you cos you sound more stupid ND Dumb at the same time and even tho he sounds like a naive person I don't think it's up to the extent of him indulging a dunce, hence his silence towards your question. Cleared

Firstly, remind her what she told you that marriage is in between man and his wife and if she was finding an excuse, tell her to give you chance to think about it, after then do not tall about let her be disturbing you and anytime she ask about it do asif you don't know what she's talking about, you know that kind stuff na, like what? What's Dat, tell her u av forgotten, still beg her to remind you, and anytime she ask you dis, do same to her, but later tell her that based on what she did then, you can only accept her mum on condition, and the condition is that you need to talk to her mum and her before you can agree where her stays currently, then explain to her mother her actions then, let her mother also talk her mind, but no matter what just get urself prepared that she's leaving with you that very day, she may insist that she's not going based on her reaction to ur mom, beg her, tell her Dat, not Dat u do not want her but you want ur wife to regret her action then and incase of next time for such thing not to happen, but meanwhile, that's the only thing that can make ur mum happy to do you, because you rejected her and accept ur mother-in-law.

Neweramify:
Op your wife was wrong, but try and understand her fear. Most women feel inconvenient around their mother inlaw. Not because she hates her mother inlaw but for the fear of the unknown.

Let her know how you feel knowing she wanna bring her mum in when she rejected your mum. I'm sure she will feel remorse of her action.

Permit her to bring her mum, cause if anything happen to the old woman, she may accuse you of one thing or the other.

This coming from a woman shows you're not different from the wife but let me tell you what your type don't understand, someday you will become an mother in-law and what goes around comes around, you will be comfortable with your mother and not your mother in-law.

OlawaleBammie:


Seriously I did not even contribute to the matter because I didn't read it, I just woke and I decided to give a lecture about life

Neweramify:
Op your wife was wrong, but try and understand her fear. Most women feel inconvenient around their mother inlaw. Not because she hates her mother inlaw but for the fear of the unknown.

Let her know how you feel knowing she wanna bring her mum in when she rejected your mum. I'm sure she will feel remorse of her action.

Permit her to bring her mum, cause if anything happen to the old woman, she may accuse you of one thing or the other.

hey. Let us not accept wickedness and withcraft in all forms. People should accept what they dish out pls!

So you Nigerians see getting likes on social media as an achievement? Lol.. Interesting... You guys are indeed a sad generation because only sad generations see social media likes as an achievement.

I see waking up everyday to go to work and make my own money as an achievement, nothing more.

But wait, what is a mumu?

iInjureHerYansh:
As people dey gather likes for first page of thread like this you no even get 1 like. That says a lot already. Mumu

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

shantti:


Painment

Neweramify:
Op your wife was wrong, but try and understand her fear. Most women feel inconvenient around their mother inlaw. Not because she hates her mother inlaw but for the fear of the unknown.

Let her know how you feel knowing she wanna bring her mum in when she rejected your mum. I'm sure she will feel remorse of her action.

Permit her to bring her mum, cause if anything happen to the old woman, she may accuse you of one thing or the other.

so when his mum died, wasnt she the cause of her death? Her hostility toward his mum, must have caused her sorrows. Abeg u ladies should accept your actions.

ozalogbo:
I am the first child of my mother, and I have two younger male siblings. I am doing well financially. My wife is the last of four children in her family. My dad died when I was still in the university, and this affected my mum.

However, as she aged, her health waned. She was a retired teacher. My brothers are not in the country. Both of them are in Europe. I wanted to have my mother stay with me in her later years because of her health and loneliness but my wife did not want it.

Whenever she was ill and I brought her home to be with us, my wife was usually hostile, especially if my mum had stayed beyond a week. She did not hid her disapproval, and this caused problems in the marriage. People advised that I should send my mum away and pay someone to live with her and take care of her. They said that marriage was between a man and his wife, not between a man, his wife, and his mother. I did and peace returned. Eventually my mum passed on after a few years.

Along the line, my father in law also died. And down the line, my mother in law's health began to deteriorate. We live in the same town. Among my wife's siblings she is the only one doing quite well. Now there are suggestions that the mother should come and live with us so that my wife can give her proper care. I believe that her living with us and seeing her grandchildren will help her. And indeed i have no problem accepting her, but when i remember the treatment my wife gave to my mum, there is a strong revulsion, in fact, anger in me. I shared with a friend, and he advised i forgive my wife, but the revulsion is so strong that i would feel cheated if i agreed.

What do you guys think. She reminded me then that marriage was between a man and his wife only. Shouldn't this also apply to my wife now?

Your type disgust me at sight, you allow someone determine your relationship with your mum in your own house?,you're a disgrace, you failed your mum and now your are here asking stupid questions. You're too weak and your wife knows that.
Your mum is her mother in-law and her mother is your mother in-law(the same relationships),do your need us to tell you that equity and fairness requires the same treatment for both?.
Try to be a man in your own home fir once,your weakness stinks to heavens.

If she is stupid enough to ask, then she is not a good person. She is a manipulator and selfish woman. Wonder why you're still with her

The best advice for you were among those messages with multiple LIKES on this platform, pick one of it and your wife will fear and respect your opinions for forever, “Whatever goes sup must come down”

Neweramify:
Op your wife was wrong, but try and understand her fear. Most women feel inconvenient around their mother inlaw. Not because she hates her mother inlaw but for the fear of the unknown.

Let her know how you feel knowing she wanna bring her mum in when she rejected your mum. I'm sure she will feel remorse of her action.

Permit her to bring her mum, cause if anything happen to the old woman, she may accuse you of one thing or the other.

You women are so cunny, look at this emotional blackmail comment you're making.

If it was the other way round, you wouldn't be singing this song.

cococandy:
When sick and old in-laws come to love with the family, the expectation is that the wife will be the one to provide care for the sick and old family member. So your wife should have the final say on who’s coming for extended say in my opinion.

Because let’s face it, your wife would have been the one to give your mom bed baths, bathroom care etc. now that her mom is coming, she’s still the one who will be expected to do that. Not you.

So it might not be the presence of your mom she didn’t want. She just didn’t want the extra responsibility which invariably falls on her. Before you ask why she can’t treat your mom the way she treats her mom, know that her mom will be willing to die for her but your mom won’t. That’s the difference

So this nonsense you wrote justifies why your son's wife should place an irrevocable ban on you stopping you from visiting your son's home for the rest of your miserable life?

Is that your point right now or are you just kidding?

With this thing you wrote, is it that you don't see your self being a mother in law at all in your life because if you harbor so much hate for mother in laws from the perspective of a wife, such that you don't ever want to see them around, what exactly do you expect when you bcom what you hate.

Nigerians are just too fokn peace loving for my liking, no wonder our so called leaders always take us for granted. Fok peace!

ojun50:
Discuss with her and remind her how she treated yr mum, then tell her to give you time to think about it.

In the end still allow her mother to come and stay for peace and unity.

Every married man should understand that the wife is not your blood so expect anything expectable but is children is his blood.

This advice has done justice to what I want to advise. Yes, it is a painful thing for you now to allow what your wife did not allow for you but believe me, you will gain happiness if you did not do the same thing back to her. God bless you with more wisdom Sir.