₦airaland Forum

It's only god can forgive you...though some woman are Soo evil...why will you not let your husband mum to live with you?

ojun50:
My problem here is, people who are not married and family oriented will be giving advice to married couples. If you want a peaceful home don't pay evil for evil

Oga shut up. It is mumu weak men like you that has made women to be misbehaving in marriages.

Justbehave:
Oga shut up. It is mumu weak men like you that has made women to be misbehaving in marriages.

No vex

Talk to her. Remind her of her attitude toward ur mum. And tell her that u so much believe in karma. She should pay someone to take care of her mum.

Justbehave:
That's why I said that God should never allow to grow to be a mother in-law because you will be among the troublesome mil. Just say amen to my prayers.

Haha! As if the other troublesome ones aren't living. Anyway!!

I plan never to be encroaching on my son, making him my emotional husband, denying his wife of her power and position in her house, simply out of loneliness and old age. May God not make me a dependent, a thorn in his wife's side. Amen!

Amen to THAT!

ozalogbo:
I am the first child of my mother, and I have two younger male siblings. I am doing well financially. My wife is the last of four children in her family. My dad died when I was still in the university, and this affected my mum.

However, as she aged, her health waned. She was a retired teacher. My brothers are not in the country. Both of them are in Europe. I wanted to have my mother stay with me in her later years because of her health and loneliness but my wife did not want it.

Whenever she was ill and I brought her home to be with us, my wife was usually hostile, especially if my mum had stayed beyond a week. She did not hid her disapproval, and this caused problems in the marriage. People advised that I should send my mum away and pay someone to live with her and take care of her. They said that marriage was between a man and his wife, not between a man, his wife, and his mother. I did and peace returned. Eventually my mum passed on after a few years.

Along the line, my father in law also died. And down the line, my mother in law's health began to deteriorate. We live in the same town. Among my wife's siblings she is the only one doing quite well. Now there are suggestions that the mother should come and live with us so that my wife can give her proper care. I believe that her living with us and seeing her grandchildren will help her. And indeed i have no problem accepting her, but when i remember the treatment my wife gave to my mum, there is a strong revulsion, in fact, anger in me. I shared with a friend, and he advised i forgive my wife, but the revulsion is so strong that i would feel cheated if i agreed.

What do you guys think. She reminded me then that marriage was between a man and his wife only. Shouldn't this also apply to my wife now?

Discuss with her to remind her of her position when your late mum was to stay with you guys. Ask her why that her position should change now? Is it because it now involve her mum.

If you feel after the discussion with her, you can accommodate her mum in your house without resentment, so be it.

It is very important to let that gender know that they can eat their cake and still have it. What is good for the goose is good for the gander.

sisisioge:
It is well fa....I'm so surprised that your wife would even bring up the issue knowing her stand when it was your mother's case. It is well fa, honestly, I would tell her to let her mother go live with any of her other siblings while she supports her. She is welcome to visit you guys from time to time.

Dearest Lord, please when my son is ready to choose a spouse, biko help me choose one that would be like a daughter to me. One that will be his friend and my paddy. One that would be fair before you and man. One that will not stress him, me and anyone related to him. I promise to raise a rational, fair and kind man. Please help me God.

If you were not all these to other peoples mother nobody will be all this to you. Lousy hypocrites

ozalogbo:
I am the first child of my mother, and I have two younger male siblings. I am doing well financially. My wife is the last of four children in her family. My dad died when I was still in the university, and this affected my mum.

However, as she aged, her health waned. She was a retired teacher. My brothers are not in the country. Both of them are in Europe. I wanted to have my mother stay with me in her later years because of her health and loneliness but my wife did not want it.

Whenever she was ill and I brought her home to be with us, my wife was usually hostile, especially if my mum had stayed beyond a week. She did not hid her disapproval, and this caused problems in the marriage. People advised that I should send my mum away and pay someone to live with her and take care of her. They said that marriage was between a man and his wife, not between a man, his wife, and his mother. I did and peace returned. Eventually my mum passed on after a few years.

Along the line, my father in law also died. And down the line, my mother in law's health began to deteriorate. We live in the same town. Among my wife's siblings she is the only one doing quite well. Now there are suggestions that the mother should come and live with us so that my wife can give her proper care. I believe that her living with us and seeing her grandchildren will help her. And indeed i have no problem accepting her, but when i remember the treatment my wife gave to my mum, there is a strong revulsion, in fact, anger in me. I shared with a friend, and he advised i forgive my wife, but the revulsion is so strong that i would feel cheated if i agreed.

What do you guys think. She reminded me then that marriage was between a man and his wife only. Shouldn't this also apply to my wife now?

Karma is a bitch.
Women should learn..you can't eat your cake and have it..you see women running their mouth saying this they can't abide by.

I believe the same treatments she gave to your mummy should also be given to her.....let her learn her lesson that what goes around comes around... supports the mother with money

Archworld:
Exodus 15:11 you have gave given me a scripture to read this morning. Thanks

You're welcome

cococandy:
No it will not automatically be less work for the lady.
It requires a lot of sacrifice. Someone else’s sacrifice is not something you just expect from them as if you’re entitled to it. You’re not entitled to her sacrificing herself to care for your mom. She can do it herself if she wants to but it’s not something she owes you.

Why are you expecting her mom and your mom to have the same level of priority in her life? Her mom can die for her. Can your mom die for her?

A little thinking please

Abeg stop explaining to that person. He would never see reason with what you are saying.

Nemesis0147:
u are sick!!
OP don’t allow her bring her old mother into your house…marriage is between you and your wife and not between you,your wife and her mother!!

Since your wife is doing well financially too.,,let her pay someone to be taking care of her mother too!!
Wetin dy do all these men?
Who peace help?
She didn’t consider peace when she was being hostile to your own mother…MENT!!

@OP,I can only imagine how disappointed your mother must have felt that time!!

Comrade, the idiot you just quoted and responded to is a notorious stupid famale disguising as a male. She's a Fool seeking for attention on nairaland and should be greatly ignored

EriMma1:
I would have told you to do what is in your mind but then, it wasn't the mother who offended you but your wife. Besides you had the choice to let your mother stay with you but you succumbed to your wife and let her will prevail. So don't treat the old woman badly because of her daughters sins.

Forgive and let the old woman come. After all she would be the one to do all the care job, not you.

Trust me, the mother knew about it and supported the daughter. It's karma playing out here

When I read or hear stories like this, it hurts me because eventually everyone will get old some day and when it comes who will look after you when you didn't. Abeg na two hands dey wash each other.
Oga no agree, make she employ someone to look after her mom too.

ozalogbo:
I am the first child of my mother, and I have two younger male siblings. I am doing well financially. My wife is the last of four children in her family. My dad died when I was still in the university, and this affected my mum.

However, as she aged, her health waned. She was a retired teacher. My brothers are not in the country. Both of them are in Europe. I wanted to have my mother stay with me in her later years because of her health and loneliness but my wife did not want it.

Whenever she was ill and I brought her home to be with us, my wife was usually hostile, especially if my mum had stayed beyond a week. She did not hid her disapproval, and this caused problems in the marriage. People advised that I should send my mum away and pay someone to live with her and take care of her. They said that marriage was between a man and his wife, not between a man, his wife, and his mother. I did and peace returned. Eventually my mum passed on after a few years.

Along the line, my father in law also died. And down the line, my mother in law's health began to deteriorate. We live in the same town. Among my wife's siblings she is the only one doing quite well. Now there are suggestions that the mother should come and live with us so that my wife can give her proper care. I believe that her living with us and seeing her grandchildren will help her. And indeed i have no problem accepting her, but when i remember the treatment my wife gave to my mum, there is a strong revulsion, in fact, anger in me. I shared with a friend, and he advised i forgive my wife, but the revulsion is so strong that i would feel cheated if i agreed.

What do you guys think. She reminded me then that marriage was between a man and his wife only. Shouldn't this also apply to my wife now?

Return the favour... Let her learn her lessons.

Zupay:
Don't pity me, I don't need it. If a marriage is not working for you end it then feel free to remarry if you so chooses.

funny man,u are still a boy,u will understand oneday.marriage is working for u for your mind.You have money and healthy, that's why u champion yourself. I pity u in advance.

How difficult is it driving her to her father's house if she is not behaving?

frozen70:
You think it's automatic to send a woman with children out and back to her father's house

Its something you have to apply wisdom with

ozalogbo:
I am the first child of my mother, and I have two younger male siblings. I am doing well financially. My wife is the last of four children in her family. My dad died when I was still in the university, and this affected my mum.

However, as she aged, her health waned. She was a retired teacher. My brothers are not in the country. Both of them are in Europe. I wanted to have my mother stay with me in her later years because of her health and loneliness but my wife did not want it.

Whenever she was ill and I brought her home to be with us, my wife was usually hostile, especially if my mum had stayed beyond a week. She did not hid her disapproval, and this caused problems in the marriage. People advised that I should send my mum away and pay someone to live with her and take care of her. They said that marriage was between a man and his wife, not between a man, his wife, and his mother. I did and peace returned. Eventually my mum passed on after a few years.

Along the line, my father in law also died. And down the line, my mother in law's health began to deteriorate. We live in the same town. Among my wife's siblings she is the only one doing quite well. Now there are suggestions that the mother should come and live with us so that my wife can give her proper care. I believe that her living with us and seeing her grandchildren will help her. And indeed i have no problem accepting her, but when i remember the treatment my wife gave to my mum, there is a strong revulsion, in fact, anger in me. I shared with a friend, and he advised i forgive my wife, but the revulsion is so strong that i would feel cheated if i agreed.

What do you guys think. She reminded me then that marriage was between a man and his wife only. Shouldn't this also apply to my wife now?

If you take in your mother inlaw, your late mother's spirit would never forgive you. Infact, Just kill that thought. Remind your wife that what goes around comes around.

BigBrother9ja:
See how nobody liked your post because it's stup!d....
The only reason why a wife will have fear of unknown around her mother in-law is because SHE DOESN'T WANT HER MISCHIEVES TO BE NOTICED AND CALLED OUT BY SOMEONE WHO UNDERSTANDS HOW YOU PEOPLE OPERATE...

if we had 1000 people who reason like you in this world, the world will be a better place

ozalogbo:
I am the first child of my mother, and I have two younger male siblings. I am doing well financially. My wife is the last of four children in her family. My dad died when I was still in the university, and this affected my mum.

However, as she aged, her health waned. She was a retired teacher. My brothers are not in the country. Both of them are in Europe. I wanted to have my mother stay with me in her later years because of her health and loneliness but my wife did not want it.

Whenever she was ill and I brought her home to be with us, my wife was usually hostile, especially if my mum had stayed beyond a week. She did not hid her disapproval, and this caused problems in the marriage. People advised that I should send my mum away and pay someone to live with her and take care of her. They said that marriage was between a man and his wife, not between a man, his wife, and his mother. I did and peace returned. Eventually my mum passed on after a few years.

Along the line, my father in law also died. And down the line, my mother in law's health began to deteriorate. We live in the same town. Among my wife's siblings she is the only one doing quite well. Now there are suggestions that the mother should come and live with us so that my wife can give her proper care. I believe that her living with us and seeing her grandchildren will help her. And indeed i have no problem accepting her, but when i remember the treatment my wife gave to my mum, there is a strong revulsion, in fact, anger in me. I shared with a friend, and he advised i forgive my wife, but the revulsion is so strong that i would feel cheated if i agreed.

What do you guys think. She reminded me then that marriage was between a man and his wife only. Shouldn't this also apply to my wife now?

Don't be a bastard and a weakling bro, do not agree too, remind her too that marriage is between a man and the wife not a man the wife and mother.
No let your mother slap you for dream, assuming she behaved well when your own mother needed you the most, then we can say a good turn deserves another but in this case bad unruly untolerating behavior deserves another too. Let her mother knows what she did to your mother.

Never allow such nonsense happen. Let her mum also stay somewhere with a care giver. marriage is still between man and wife.

frozen70:
Marriage doesn't work that way
Am sure you are not married

How does it work?
Pleasssse, enlighten me

I have been married for over ten yeats, so, sorry! Your being unsure doesn't mean anything to me

There is no case here, marriage is between husband and wife and no third party, that was the resolution when your mother wanted to stayed.
same should still apply and should still apply and you should stand your ground, if you allowed her mother to stayed now considering how she resisted your own mother then in that your she will continue to undermine your authority and that is how it will start until u will become the woman of the house while she assume the head/Man of the house with the authority

OlawaleBammie:
Life lessons part 0

Some people's are bastærds and they shall remain so in this life.

Some people will never recv blessings from their dead parents spirit in this life if they can not revenge for what the parent pass tru in the hand of their partner.

Tho some people are fools cus they can't take the bold decision in their life..how they make money becomes a mystery.

As a man, if this happens to u and u can't as well pay a care giver to be taken care of the I'll patent in her husband home then u re not only stupid, but Ur parents will forever be crying inside their grave upon u.

Well, some people are just brainless and I will be happy to hear about their misfortunes..

thank you my dear brother, i love your write up, this OP is so stupid sorry to say ,where is he when his wife maltreating his mother and he is there doing one stupid love, no woman can try such with , she will leave that house that day. even he would have bring in a care giver to care for his mother simple... i hate to hear this kind of stories that" my wife didn't allow my mum in our home" .. any lady try such with me will be dealt with because i wouldn't do that to her own parents i love her own family.. that why i do ask this if i love your own families you must love my family.

ridwintin89:
funny man,u are still a boy,u will understand oneday.marriage is working for u for your mind.You have money and healthy, that's why u champion yourself. I pity u in advance.

I don't need your pity., Keep it for yourself.

What is the point still being married and go look for another wife, for the man to be in the middle of their firing range? You already know your life expectancy as a Nigerian man, living in Nigeria is already low, why overburdened one's self.?

If it ever comes to a time when my marriage is no longer conducive to continue being with my, spouse, I will end it and be open to a new relationship, going into it with lessons learnt from the first.

Why should I still be married to a wife who makes the marriage, toxic?

Neweramify:
Op your wife was wrong, but try and understand her fear. Most women feel inconvenient around their mother inlaw. Not because she hates her mother inlaw but for the fear of the unknown.

Let her know how you feel knowing she wanna bring her mum in when she rejected your mum. I'm sure she will feel remorse of her action.

Permit her to bring her mum, cause if anything happen to the old woman, she may accuse you of one thing or the other.

Women supporting women reason is always to think of your actions thoroughly before executing it becos table can turn at anytime.

To be direct not an advise to the Op any treatment any woman i call a wife give to my mother or any member of my family, be it a negative one she should expect same, be it a positive one she should also expect same.

If actually two is really one then for the sake of love both members of the family should be treated with love, respect and seen as one. When you create a rule, you should be able to play by the rule you created and not try to bend it when it gets to your turn.
Life is so simple, people complicate

ozalogbo:
I am the first child of my mother, and I have two younger male siblings. I am doing well financially. My wife is the last of four children in her family. My dad died when I was still in the university, and this affected my mum.

However, as she aged, her health waned. She was a retired teacher. My brothers are not in the country. Both of them are in Europe. I wanted to have my mother stay with me in her later years because of her health and loneliness but my wife did not want it.

Whenever she was ill and I brought her home to be with us, my wife was usually hostile, especially if my mum had stayed beyond a week. She did not hid her disapproval, and this caused problems in the marriage. People advised that I should send my mum away and pay someone to live with her and take care of her. They said that marriage was between a man and his wife, not between a man, his wife, and his mother. I did and peace returned. Eventually my mum passed on after a few years.

Along the line, my father in law also died. And down the line, my mother in law's health began to deteriorate. We live in the same town. Among my wife's siblings she is the only one doing quite well. Now there are suggestions that the mother should come and live with us so that my wife can give her proper care. I believe that her living with us and seeing her grandchildren will help her. And indeed i have no problem accepting her, but when i remember the treatment my wife gave to my mum, there is a strong revulsion, in fact, anger in me. I shared with a friend, and he advised i forgive my wife, but the revulsion is so strong that i would feel cheated if i agreed.

What do you guys think. She reminded me then that marriage was between a man and his wife only. Shouldn't this also apply to my wife now?

Honestly u are not supposed to be asking this question, she didn't allow ur mum to come stay with u people but now she want to her mum to come stay with u guys, I understand bible says forgive and forget but there are times u need to pay back, if it is me, honestly I won't let her mum come stay with us, period

They said that marriage was between a man and his wife, not between a man, his wife, and his mother. IThey said that marriage was between a man and his wife, not between a man, his wife, and his mother.

my mother in law's health began to deteriorate. We live in the same town. Among my wife's siblings she is the only one doing quite well. Now there are suggestions that the mother should come and live with us so that my wife can give her proper care. I believe that her living with us and seeing her grandchildren will help her did and peace returned. Eventually my mum passed on after a few years.

You see this life e no balance, they are the once that said marriage is between man and wife but not between man and wife and his mother and ignorantly didn't put her mother too and look at were we are today.

Your mum my her soul continue to rest with the Lord, needed same thing they told you her mum needed so to take care of her, also just as you believed her mum seeing her grand children will help her same goes to your mum too, but because of peace to rain you took your mum out and now she's no more and I ask what makes you think if you bring her mum in you will have peace Bros I am betting you on this you will not have inner peace because you will continue to remember your mum when ever you see your wife giving care to her own mum in your house... Something she despised

I will advise let her mum stay with your wife's siblings anything you want to help with do send it to them and often go to check on her over there.

Remember marriage is between man and wife but not between man and wife, and her mum and his mum.

ozalogbo:
I am the first child of my mother, and I have two younger male siblings. I am doing well financially. My wife is the last of four children in her family. My dad died when I was still in the university, and this affected my mum.

However, as she aged, her health waned. She was a retired teacher. My brothers are not in the country. Both of them are in Europe. I wanted to have my mother stay with me in her later years because of her health and loneliness but my wife did not want it.

Whenever she was ill and I brought her home to be with us, my wife was usually hostile, especially if my mum had stayed beyond a week. She did not hid her disapproval, and this caused problems in the marriage. People advised that I should send my mum away and pay someone to live with her and take care of her. They said that marriage was between a man and his wife, not between a man, his wife, and his mother. I did and peace returned. Eventually my mum passed on after a few years.

Along the line, my father in law also died. And down the line, my mother in law's health began to deteriorate. We live in the same town. Among my wife's siblings she is the only one doing quite well. Now there are suggestions that the mother should come and live with us so that my wife can give her proper care. I believe that her living with us and seeing her grandchildren will help her. And indeed i have no problem accepting her, but when i remember the treatment my wife gave to my mum, there is a strong revulsion, in fact, anger in me. I shared with a friend, and he advised i forgive my wife, but the revulsion is so strong that i would feel cheated if i agreed.

What do you guys think. She reminded me then that marriage was between a man and his wife only. Shouldn't this also apply to my wife now?

To me, that same measure you gave when my mum was around is the same measure your mum will receive. Let the heavens fall.

Oh! So she didn't know a time will come when it would be her turn bah?

If you accept, your mum will turn in her grave.

Thunder will fire anyone that doesn't want karma to perform its duties.

Nemesis0147:
u are sick!!
OP don’t allow her bring her old mother into your house…marriage is between you and your wife and not between you,your wife and her mother!!

Since your wife is doing well financially too.,,let her pay someone to be taking care of her mother too!!
Wetin dy do all these men?
Who peace help?
She didn’t consider peace when she was being hostile to your own mother…MENT!!

@OP,I can only imagine how disappointed your mother must have felt that time!!

Bros ehhh, it's crazy ooo

Let the mum stay with the wife's siblings then any help he wants to render he can send it over, besides marriage is between man and wife but not between man and wife and her mum and his mum

Neweramify:
Op your wife was wrong, but try and understand her fear. Most women feel inconvenient around their mother inlaw. Not because she hates her mother inlaw but for the fear of the unknown.

Let her know how you feel knowing she wanna bring her mum in when she rejected your mum. I'm sure she will feel remorse of her action.

Permit her to bring her mum, cause if anything happen to the old woman, she may accuse you of one thing or the other.

Never, she can think anything for herself, the wife is a wicked woman, what goes around comes around

Zupay:
I don't need your pity., Keep it for yourself.

What is the point still being married and go look for another wife, for the man to be in the middle of their firing range? You already know your life expectancy as a Nigerian man, living in Nigeria is already low, why overburdened one's self.?

If it ever comes to a time when my marriage is no longer conducive to continue being with my, spouse, I will end it and be open to a new relationship, going into it with lessons learnt from the first.

Why should I still be married to a wife who makes the marriage, toxic?

I don't advise u to go marry second wife now.But please study ur wife if she is not a selfish type.u can ask her to borrow that u believe she can get.She her response to it.I wish u a successful life.women are dangerous I must tell u.They can kill men to satisfy there need.