Amumaigwe:


So you ladies are wired for wickedness. What right do you then have to demand kindness?

Kindness is a choice Mr, both for males and females and some females are kinder than others. Im just giving a little insight into female psychology. Even tho OPs mom and your own Mon are also female, remember that. Its a sad but true fact and even if u cannot empathise, it should at least give you a little understanding. We didn't create ourselves after all...

gentlesmithugo:
arrant nonsense, utterly rubbish.we all are human.i treat u d way u treat me.if u like be woman I don't care

Keep your insults and hot headedness to yourself Mr, no one is asking you for anything. All the while you have been treating others the way they treat you, where has it led you?

Mom007:

Keep your insults and hot headedness to yourself Mr, no one is asking you for anything. All the while you have been treating others the way they treat you, where has it led you?

So what are you implying?

Dtruthspeaker:


Go check it. Forgiveness is based on the fact that it is an issue which is forgivable and overlookable. But when a person crosses that line, it is unforgivable.

And forgiveness comes from the Spirit, thus, we can not forgive unless The Spirit lets us, if not people would do that fake forgiveness where they say "I have forgiven her o but the issue is still paining me."

You have unforgiveness residing in you, and you have all the reasons why you should keep up with it.

Yet you have a gospel. One day we will see who will end up in hell.

shantti:


By your argument, if a woman commits a crime she shouldn't be persecuted, right? Cos she is a woman.

E

I never insinuated that by my statement. I just shared something that may or may not be common knowledge. I didnt add that after giving my son these "profound" words of knowledge, I proceed to give his sister a spank or two for her nautiness.
Who is the op really punishing by continuing the cycle of wickedness of the wife? Its too bad even Christians do not follow the tenets of the bible any longer. I can bet all of you challenging my comment, including op himself will claim to be Christians yet the bible says return evil for evil to no one. Who knows it may be the kindness of the op that will shame the wife and make her deeply remorseful for her hostility towards her late mother inlaw.

shantti:


U know u are dumb right?
The way u lot skip the issue at hand and start cooking up unrelated rubbish just to portray urself as the victim is baffling. Did the op said his wife was the one catering for his mum? Why all these? Why are u projecting ur hatred of mother in laws onto a sick old woman that is already dead.

U will become what u hate one day. Its a matter of time. Then, same hatred will be projected onto u.

There is a reason why I didn't quote you and as I suspected I was right. Very typical.

There are some sets of people I don't engage in discussions with on NL.

If you cannot express yourself without resorting to insults and bickering do not quote me.

Darammliveth:



Kill that suggestion before it arrive! This case is very simple. Your wife should know better. What goes around comes around. Karma is a bitch! How can you be hostile to your mother in-law.

Let her mama stay with any of her eldest siblings. Thank God she's not the only child. Then you can send her money monthly for her upkeep. Lobatan.

Not just that, she will also be a mother in law tomorrow...digital wives and daughters in law everywhere

Mom007:


I never insinuated that by my statement. I just shared something that may or may not be common knowledge. I didnt add that after giving my son these "profound" words of knowledge, I proceed to give his sister a spank or two for her nautiness.
Who is the op really punishing by continuing the cycle of wickedness of the wife? Its too bad even Christians do not follow the tenets of the bible any longer. I can bet all of you challenging my comment, including op himself will claim to be Christians yet the bible says return evil for evil to no one. Who knows it may be the kindness of the op that will shame the wife and make her deeply remorseful for her hostility towards her late mother inlaw.

This is not about forgiveness ma
There can't be forgiveness without fairness
A rule was made "marriage is between a man and a wife, no third parties

The man needed the rule to be compromised so his mum could live, but his wife refused. Because of the rule, he lost his mum.

Now the woman want the rule to be compromised so her mum could live. Are u seeing the hypocrisy.

If she couldn't show mercy, she shouldn't expect it.

And pls by the way, don't bring in God to suit you people's wicked agenda. Did his wife remember God during her franchise.

Equity and fairness demands that she rent a place for her mum and nurse her

Tannhauser:


Wonderful. I support this.

Wait till you are raped and robbed and when the perpetrator is caught, he begs for forgiveness and begs you not to press charges. Be the bigger person.

Meaning what? As in, I don't understand u.. As in what is d correlation between the 2 scenarios? I mean did you or did u not read where the person in question is his wife..., as in the mother of Hus children..., as in the person with whom GE may get to live the rest of his life and possibly grow old and die with if he is lucky...? What is wrong with you people? I bet you all are unmarried or your marriage has broken already and u wish same on another person abi what good could possibly come out of making your wife your enemy in the long run just to prove a point? No one is saying the wife was not wrong. But even the bible says we should keep conquering evil with good. Anyway, what's my own sef? Op, follow these people who are pouring fuel on the flickering flames in your marriage jare and when it gets consumed, I will still be in my husbands house, sipping hot tea and reading stories on naira land.

NaBanga:
If you had moved your mother in, your wife would have had to care for your mother, not you. Then on top she would have to take care of her mother now. So it would not have been fair to move your mother in unless you were the one fully caring for her. Moving your wife's mother in, is not the same.

U r not well.

ogbe88:
U r not well.

'

You will understand later in life. This life does not follow a pattern and you should put on another person what you cannot do yourself.

shantti:


This is not about forgiveness ma
There can't be forgiveness without fairness
A rule was made "marriage is between a man and a wife, no third parties

The man needed the rule to be compromised so his mum could live, but his wife refused. Because of the rule, he lost his mum.

Now the woman want the rule to be compromised so her mum could live. Are u seeing the hypocrisy.

If she couldn't show mercy, she shouldn't expect it.

And pls by the way, don't bring in God to suit you people's wicked agenda. Did his wife remember God during her franchise.

Equity and fairness demands that she rent a place for her mum and nurse her

Now you quote equity and fairness?
Oh now the genders are equal in marriage? Abeg stop mentioning me in your rantings jare. By their comments you will know those who have never paid bride price before

NaBanga:
'

You will understand later in life. This life does not follow a pattern and you should put on another person what you cannot do yourself.

U are still a baby, to me fairness and forgiveness goes to together here.

Mom007:



Now you quote equity and fairness?
Oh now the genders are equal in marriage? Abeg stop mentioning me in your rantings jare. By their comments you will know those who have never paid bride price before

Read ur comments again
Read it again
Are u done.
Did u discovered you are angry cos u can't sway any ones mind here.

Men aren't fools again, digest that

Exodus15v11:
You were your mom's only child left in Nigeria, hence she should have stayed with you to take better care of her and show her love during her remaining years, but you sent her away because of your wife, knowing fully well that she was not only ill but she was lonely. You did not do right by the woman. I can only imagine how she must have felt.

Yes, the same rule should apply to your wife's mom. You two can find someone to go stay with her and look after the finances involved. Or one of her siblings can go stay with her. As her siblings are there in Nigeria, she has a lot more family support than you did, which makes it even more baffling that she wants to be a hyprocrite and have her mom stay with you when she denied your mom of this same treatment and was hostile towards her.

I remember when I was young, I used to stay with my sister and her husband every holiday season. One of those day days he brought his old and tired mother from the village. The woman was really old, her eyes are failing, she had lice all day ever her. Evidently they were not taking care of her properly in the village.

My sister was the one who suggested that she should stay with them. They took her to the hospital, got her glasses, changed all her clothes.

Until recently, my child mind never considered it a big deal.
I will never put up with anybody who would not put up with my parent, and marriage means your parent are mine too.
And I would not wait a moment to divorce you if you think otherwise.

Only a fool will allow that happen, if you do then your mum won't be happy with you, whatever reason that will make her take her mum in would have made her take your mum. Only if you are an agbaya or you are under your wife's armpit, please who does that, she stops your sick mum staying with you guys until she died n now her mum is sick and you want to allow her in. Come it shows you are not a man for even asking, if na that go end the marriage then make e end, it not a new thing, who does that. Guy use your brain,if u be my younger brother self u for collect for asking this question.

Mom007:



Now you quote equity and fairness?
Oh now the genders are equal in marriage? Abeg stop mentioning me in your rantings jare. By their comments you will know those who have never paid bride price before

By some people's comment we can deduce those who didn't attend school.

Equity and equality are two different things nne.

School no be scam

BRATISLAVA:

You have unforgiveness residing in you, and you have all the reasons why you should keep up with it.

Yet you have a gospel. One day we will see who will end up in hell.

Just say you wish me hell because you hate me, therefore I get no justice from you.

But The Most High Judge, is just and He is The Law and always judges according to Law, so your hatred, unfairness and evil desire, are things you should not be surprised to see in your records, when the books are opened.

Again, I want to thank you all for your comments and reactions. Some of you are justifiably enraged that 'I sent my mother away". I perceive that the majority of this reaction is from men. However, it seems that many mostly ignored the further information that I supplied: That I did not send my mother away. No! When I insist that my mother goes nowhere, she says, no my son. Instead of you to have quarrels in your home because of my presence here, I better leave. And she would quietly go, against my vehement protests. In fact, one one occasion when she visited, before I came, she quietly left and later called me that something came up suddenly (not in my home anyway) and she had to leave to attend to it. But I perceived that my wife suffocated her away with attitude. I understand the kind of mother I had, a peace lover and a peacemaker. Years ago, something happened. That was before I got married. A guy was rude to my mum. She did not tell me or my siblings because she knew what my reaction would be. It was some days later that I heard of the event. I confronted the guy and if not for the people around who came between us, it would have resulted in serious blows. I did not bother to ask my mum before I accosted the guy because I knew she would strongly and firmly disapprove. Of course, when she heard what I did, she was not pleased with me.

Samantha124:
We all make mistakes at the end of the day and I take full accountability for my own mistakes and I'm not even ashamed of it.

You can call me dumb all you like, but what matters is that I'm getting my achievement for my hard work while you see receiving social media likes as an achievement.

Anyway, good luck receiving your likes.

Go suck a Dick biiitch. Which stupid hard work person like you fit do? Werey 😂

Klass99:


It is a serious to do list. If only more people understood that marriage and children are life choices, not mandatory goals or achievements we all have to meet, in order to unlock happiness or the adult phase of our lives.

I will never forget a male user here who told me when I look at my children they will make me happy. I went from this ........ to this , in my offline reaction to his comment. It is unbelievable the things people think or assume about parenting and women in particular.

It will take more than that for a child to make me happy, but no, oga in his very logical mind and wisdom assumed all it takes for a woman/mother to be happy is to look at her child. The whole mantra about the joy of motherhood is completely lost on me, it doesn't resonate and I can't relate. I will take a bowl of ice cream, more money in my bank account, pleasant and memorable experiences, over this joy of motherhood, any time any day.

Having children could be goal or give a sense of achievement to those who want them. The problem with society is that they are seen as mandatory, all over the world. If you've reached a certain age and have never been married or had children, it is seen as something pitiful. We didn't make the rules, but we conform to them to an extent. That means doing the things on the list

As for having children or not, nothing is written in stone. I forsee you with three Feelings change. The joy of motherhood is something seen as mandatory, but there are times one will resent it as it is more of a toll than a joy. It's just another thing on the to-do list. Some have joy, others don't. At the end of the day, the children will walk their own path. The last thing that should give a woman joy the way people say it is motherhood. It is a thankless state of being not the hyped joy. And if you're the martyr type, the selfishness of children will make the joy bitterness.

The highest joy in it is actually pride.

You just corrected me for mispronouncing a word, but now look at your bad grammar with your broken English.

For a moment I respected you for correcting me because I thought you're intelligent, but I take my respect back after this your bad English.

iInjureHerYansh:
Go suck a Dick biiitch. Which stupid hard work person like you fit do? Werey 😂

MrBrownJay1:


A) marriage is about RULES AND REGULATIONS.... if you are telling me that we shouldnt have guests, then i dont bring guests over, but if some miraculously come over, and you are pissed off about it and ask me to throw them out, then i will because these are the family RULES AND REGULATIONS. these are the rules they had with HIS family, and therefore thats the rule they should have with HERS. you cant change the family rules when it fits your selfish agenda.

B) it was HIS money that was used to take care of his mother, and yet she was still against her being there. why should this suddenly be
different because its HER mother?!

C) funny how now suddenly people are all religious and want to talk about forgiveness. there is nothing to forgive...



imagine how the dude feels now that his mother is dead, after his wife refused to have her stay with them? marriage is about TWO individual, not just one. so if it was ok for husband to suffer because of the rules and regulations of the family, then let the wife go through the same suffering.

so just because you want to get even,you will allow an old woman to die avoidable death just because it's family rules? Sometimes you have to BEND THE RULES to fit in to certain situations.we are talking about a human being here not cockroach or rat.all this do me I do you philosophy is why the world has gone chaotic.a home should be the first place where husband,wife and children experience genuine love, forgiveness and tolerance of each other's inadequacies

Samantha124:
You just corrected me for mispronouncing a word, but now look at your bad grammar with your broken English.

For a moment I respected you for correcting me because I thought you're intelligent, but I take my respect back after this your bad English.

First sentence was English the second one was pidgin English. Why am I even trying to explain when you too dump to grasp anything? 😂
Abeg go and rest before I ruin the rest of your lonely ass day

frozen70:


Yes you are right
But my submission of the react, is centered on the children who may witness nonsense from both parents when the drama starts

That's another reasonable factor. Nowadays marriage sef.

dangotesmummy:
so just because you want to get even,you will allow an old woman to die avoidable death just because it's family rules? Sometimes you have to BEND THE RULES to fit in to certain situations.we are talking about a human being here not cockroach or rat.all this do me I do you philosophy is why the world has gone chaotic.a home should be the first place where husband,wife and children experience genuine love, forgiveness and tolerance of each other's inadequacies

again, this is NOT about getting even, this is about FOLLOWING THE RULES AND REGULATIONS of their household, regardless of sentiments. you are either tough and follow the rules regardless of who they are hurting OR you dont put rules and regulations to begin with. you CANNOT/SHOULDNT selfishly bend the rules because (if you do that) they will be unfair to someone in that household. was the husband (or his mother) not human beings when the wife said he MUST get rid of her?!

the world is indeed gone chaotic but its not the fault of people who followed the rules, its because of people who think they should be above the law and do what they please....you either follow the rules or you dont, but dont be a hypocrite with having a set of rules for his family and a different set of rules for yours. you are putting sentiments into this issue, while the wifey was adamant that THEY SHOULDNT CARE ABOUT SENTIMENT.,,, thus why his own mother was thrown out.

Akuruoulo:

MADAM MAY GOD BLESS YOU ABUNDANTLY

Amen

cococandy:
I’m asking you to prepare to care for your parents. How’s that connected to who I’m going to marry?

You in particular, how are you preparing to care for your parents? That’s my question.

And I'm telling you that I did my best for my parents before they both died.

Pidgin English is still broken English.

And most of you guys are already used to using your broken English rather than good English, hence your bad grammar.

How do you expect someone who's not a Nigerian like myself to understand this bad grammar of yours?

iInjureHerYansh:
First sentence was English the second one was pidgin English. Why am I even trying to explain when you too dump to grasp anything? 😂
Abeg go and rest before I ruin the rest of your lonely ass day

MrBrownJay1:


if the above is how your wife felt about your own mother coming to stay with you guys, then she has NO RIGHT to expect her own mother to come stay with you guys... NONE!

Actually, you took those words from my mouth.....it will never be possible for her mum to live with me....they should look for someone else who can take care of her in her house I wil be paying for that.....in fact, she cant let my mum leave my house sef....

Etizz:
Actually, you took those words from my mouth.....it will never be possible for her mum to live with me....they should look for someone else who can take care of her in her house I wil be paying for that.....in fact, she cant let my mum leave my house sef....

the above is the 1st issue... how can a man throw his own mother out their house like that?!
the 2nd issue is... for peace to reign in the marriage, he asked his own mother to leave...now wifey is trying to use reverse psychology and saying that:" for peace to reign, her own mother must move in with them"IMAGINE THE NONSENSE!!! lol