Zulum:
Don't mind my English pls

Anytime we had an argument with my wife, she utter some words that I can't even tell that to my enemy...."I am tired of the marriage", "I am always praying for u to die" " I always pray something terrible should happen to you" and so on....

I am Muslim, we are married three years ago and blessed with one child, I can't stay for a good one week in my house peacefully without having misunderstanding with her......i am depressed, worried, always thinking.....

She wasn't suppose to be your wife, that was the mistake you made.

And i am sure you saw these traits in her before wiving her, so why complain?

After many years of marriage,I have since learnt never to take the words of a woman lightly,she is telling you what she is thinking and its a question of time before she acts on it.

Zulum:
Don't mind my English pls

Anytime we had an argument with my wife, she utter some words that I can't even tell that to my enemy...."I am tired of the marriage", "I am always praying for u to die" " I always pray something terrible should happen to you" and so on....

I am Muslim, we are married three years ago and blessed with one child, I can't stay for a good one week in my house peacefully without having misunderstanding with her......i am depressed, worried, always thinking.....

Zulum:


In fact I suspect she doesn't love me

Because I have to struggle before we get married....its like a forced marriage, but not from me but from her parents

She is in love with a guy before, my mum asked me to check her.......i have seen many thing that I supposed to do you turn but I insist and married her...

It's like she is trapped in my office, she doesn't appreciate me, she tells me whatever she likes, she insult me....and be telling me I am not doing anything to her apart from the house rent I am paying.

Walhy I loose weight, loose appetite, confused depressed.....

And I am doing very well financially, I am spending more than 300k in my house with 30days

You dont force a woman to choose or marry U. women only stay with the man they pick whole heartedly, if u aint that man, na frustrate she go dey frustrate u till u man up or set her lose.

Thankfully you are a muslim and your religion allows u to marry more than one, u shud simply start looking for a lady that you are compatible with and that also sees u as her MAN. begin totry to date like u are single and take your time to find that woman while ignoring your wife....Either she begin to behave well or u find a more suitable woman both are a win/win

Arewa247:
I will not advice you to divorce her but can u try this and see if it can work. Invite any mallam that you know can preach very well to talk to her. 2) buy islamic preaching that talk about hakkin miji akan matansa ta rinka ji kila zata ji abinda zaisa ta sauko

No cleric can force desirability. preaching wont make a woman that doesnt love a man to love him, and vice-versa

Brandiebird:
1. She was in love with someone else and you and her father ran over her wishes and forced her to marry you.

2. She told you to divorce her and you refuse to do that.

3. She told her father she wants you to divorce her and he won’t allow that.

4. Of course she wants you dead since that’s the only way she could get her freedom.

I think she is the victim in this and you should get the message and free her while she’s still young and only has 1 child.

Free our girls 🤣

She is an adult, she can initiate tyhe divorce too

Zulum:
Don't mind my English pls

Anytime we had an argument with my wife, she utter some words that I can't even tell that to my enemy...."I am tired of the marriage", "I am always praying for u to die" " I always pray something terrible should happen to you" and so on....

I am Muslim, we are married three years ago and blessed with one child, I can't stay for a good one week in my house peacefully without having misunderstanding with her......i am depressed, worried, always thinking.....

If you are very sure you have never used such a dirty word on her and she is using it on you freely

Just send her home to her parents for a refresher course in marriage

And if you are already tired of her just consider giving her a threat of pulling out of the marriage like a separation maybe that will touch her to change her attitude

You should have allowed her to go visit her mum as well , so that she won't be left alone at home , or allower to go with you , women love freedom, they don't like to be cage because they are Inside marriage, women of nowadays you can command them like our mothers, the world has changed, education has open there eyes , that's marriage for you , all women are the same , telling you doesn't mean she will do it , may be out of anger , what if she doesn't telli you and she poison your enemy, if you divorce her , do you know the kind of woman you will fall into again , just call her , take her out , make her happy beg for forgiveness, let her pure out her heart , you people should settle and leave a peaceful life , no woman is perfect all of them Na were .

Zulum:


Did u know why she said she wish I am dead...

It's just an argument.....normally every two days I use to visit my mum.....so Saturday afternoon I dressed up and carry my car key and she asked me where am I going to, I told her that I am going to visit mum....then she said she is also going to her mothers house since I am going to mine too....i told her that not today.

She started shouting insulting me, wishing bad bad wishes, that when I am driving something will happen to me, she's tired, she want to do another marriage......

Zulum:


I am always thinking of that, in fact, I divorced her once before our parents interfere and brought her back....u know as Muslims you are entitled to three divorces...so remain two now

But my fear is my 3yrs old son....fear of missing him

sorry to ask you this question sir, so if bad things should happen to you before the 3times what will your people do or the Alfa do to her? Run for your life and find a way to take care of your boy do not dead in the name of marriage

Zulum:



They aren't serious, they always complain that I am impatient....they told me that I don't have to report everything about my marriage, that I should be able to solve it as a male.

You know here in the north parents don't want their girl child been divorced, it's like a shame to them....so they don't care what is going on in the house...they just want her to stay

Tunda qaddara ta same ka. A runka mata nasiha. Amma fa akwai abunda ya kamata ka bincika.
1. Is she still in contact with her boyfriend
2. Is the Ex boyfriend married??
3. If she is still in contact with him, that will be a major issue in your marriage.

I don't know why am feeling your pain,u are a very young man who suppose to be enjoying marital bliss,but its the other way round...I suggest u sit parents from both side down,and your wife,with a learned mallam,let your wife says everything in her mind...then ask her what she want..
Is it to stay or divorce, make the decision right there and follow suit..don't die before your time,even if nobody needs you to stay alive,your parent does,I have stayed in the north,and have seen prominent men daughters divorcing and remarrying again,so nothing new
If she refuse to change,u can't change her..young man pls flee

Zulum:
Don't mind my English pls

Anytime we had an argument with my wife, she utter some words that I can't even tell that to my enemy...."I am tired of the marriage", "I am always praying for u to die" " I always pray something terrible should happen to you" and so on....

I am Muslim, we are married three years ago and blessed with one child, I can't stay for a good one week in my house peacefully without having misunderstanding with her......i am depressed, worried, always thinking.....

Kindly let her go by pronouncing divorce on her.
Na from clap e dey turn to dance .

Zulum:


JazakAllah

Wa iyyakum

Zulum:


In fact I suspect she doesn't love me

Because I have to struggle before we get married....its like a forced marriage, but not from me but from her parents

She is in love with a guy before, my mum asked me to check her.......i have seen many thing that I supposed to do you turn but I insist and married her...

It's like she is trapped in my office, she doesn't appreciate me, she tells me whatever she likes, she insult me....and be telling me I am not doing anything to her apart from the house rent I am paying.

Walhy I loose weight, loose appetite, confused depressed.....

And I am doing very well financially, I am spending more than 300k in my house with 30days

The problem is you. So you saw the red flag and you went ahead with the marriage. A lady that love a man can anything especially crazy things to get him. If you are careful she might poison you

Zulum:


In fact I suspect she doesn't love me

Because I have to struggle before we get married....its like a forced marriage, but not from me but from her parents

She is in love with a guy before, my mum asked me to check her.......i have seen many thing that I supposed to do you turn but I insist and married her...

It's like she is trapped in my office, she doesn't appreciate me, she tells me whatever she likes, she insult me....and be telling me I am not doing anything to her apart from the house rent I am paying.

Walhy I loose weight, loose appetite, confused depressed.....

And I am doing very well financially, I am spending more than 300k in my house with 30days

you like it or not one day she must kill you, even if she tell you jokingly . wallahi don't take that statement from a woman as joke. That her former boyfriend is still in her heart. Divorce her immediately the better for you

Op:
https://www.nairaland.com/7166252/wahala-chaos-female-nature

Goldenklassy:
I don't know why am feeling your pain,u are a very young man who suppose to be enjoying marital bliss,but its the other way round...I suggest u sit parents from both side down,and your wife,with a learned mallam,let your wife says everything in her mind...then ask her what she want..
Is it to stay or divorce, make the decision right there and follow suit..don't die before your time,even if nobody needs you to stay alive,your parent does,I have stayed in the north,and have seen prominent men daughters divorcing and remarrying again,so nothing new
If she refuse to change,u can't change her..young man pls flee

Zulum ka dau maganan gayan nan wlhy kurka yadda wata ta kashe ka. In bata sonka ka rabu da ita Dan Allah. Allah zai baka wata sai ta kashe ka ta huta koh. Haba yar gold ce itan. Ba"a dole fa
Ta aura wada take so kaga tunda tana Maganan kashe ka gwara ku rabu kana da dalili mai karfi

Ka zaunar da iyayen ka da nata ayi maganan fahimta alanguro. In tace bata so shekenan alhamdulilah ka nema wata. Ama de a bisa halamu wanan zata iya kashe ka. Kata addu'a. Har ma kuntaba rabuwa kuma batayi da nasani ba. Kuma ka kara dawowa da ita. Inta kashe ka akwai me ma addu'a ba leifi 😂

[quote author=bendaniel1616 post=124611844]You should have allowed her to go visit her mum as well , so that she won't be left alone at home , or allower to go with you , women love freedom, they don't like to be cage because they are Inside marriage, women of nowadays you can command them like our mothers, the world has changed, education has open there eyes , that's marriage for you , all women are the same , telling you doesn't mean she will do it , may be out of anger , what if she doesn't telli you and she poison your enemy, if you divorce her , do you know the kind of woman you will fall into again , just call her , take her out , make her happy beg for forgiveness, let her pure out her heart , you people should settle and leave a peaceful life , no woman is perfect all of them Na were .



[Hmmmmmmm, never force yourself on a woman no matter what it is. If you know how much it irrtates a woman to be touched by a man she doesn't love,you will never force love on her. Please don't listen to people asking you to pray. Divorce is the best and only way out. FLEE FOR YOUR LIFE.]
Your son will always come back to you. Please don't wait to divorce the second or third time, divorce her total and let her go. I'm a woman and I know what it feels like not loving a man and he is forcing himself on you.

Zulum:


I have said it earlier, that here in the north it's like a shame for a family when their girl child is divorced....thats why they keep pushing it..

I don't think I have help them....

Maybe by marrying her yes

That's why most of the women do kill their husbands.

Zulum:


Walhy i am weak, I know that I am.....i am too gentle, too quiet to cold, to calm., too forgiven.....infact I always wanted to be rugged

Well you have to stop being weak or else enjoy just your wife but everyone will walk over you.

Stop it you don’t have to be toxic masculine but have enough self respect for your self to not tolerate no disrespect from any body.

And as for your marriage, clearly is not working she don’t live nor respect you.

Leave now.

Anger is a problem

Uncontrolled anger is worse

Zulum:


I have divorced her once, and returned her back...

Also send her home back after some months, when we were called she boldly told her dad that she don't want the marriage that I should divorce her....but the dad sent her away and begged us to return her back which I did

Da baka dawo da ita ba... You shouldn't have returned her to your house

This was your opportunity to dissociate from her. Her dad knows that his daughter leaving your house will most likely be bad for his daughter.

Your name suggest Kanuri and if your wife is Kanuri also, I would advice you to thread carefully as she could kill you easily.

Your mental and physical health is very important and you should take steps to your mental and physical health

Zulum:


I have said it earlier, that here in the north it's like a shame for a family when their girl child is divorced....thats why they keep pushing it..

I don't think I have help them....

Maybe by marrying her yes

Not at the expense of your life

Odée. Are u a man? Cos you are not even in charge.... Eniréé lor...

Zulum:
Don't mind my English pls

Anytime we had an argument with my wife, she utter some words that I can't even tell that to my enemy...."I am tired of the marriage", "I am always praying for u to die" " I always pray something terrible should happen to you" and so on....

I am Muslim, we are married three years ago and blessed with one child, I can't stay for a good one week in my house peacefully without having misunderstanding with her......i am depressed, worried, always thinking.....

Zulum:


I am always thinking of that, infact I have divorced her once before our parents interfere and brought her back....u know as Muslims you are entitled to three divorce...so remain two now

But my fear is my 3yrs old son....fear of missing him

Sorry that you have reached a point of no return. The first divorce destroyed her and her grudge can't be hidden anymore.

Zulum:


Yeah sure, I might be hurting her.....

[color=#006600][/color]

All the best.

That was then now peace of mind means alot in marriage if u don't get let her go I'm from the north too.

Zulum:



They aren't serious, they always complain that I am impatient....they told me that I don't have to report everything about my marriage, that I should be able to solve it as a male.

You know here in the north parents don't want their girl child been divorced, it's like a shame to them....so they don't care what is going on in the house...they just want her to stay

queenolofofo:


Pls stop misinforming people with this.You only had misunderstanding and the family settled it.Go for proper tolak when you're finally ready for divorce her.
Where did you coin Divorce is three,remaining two from.half baked knowledge at play here.

Among the northerns divorce is final after making the third pronouncement. The op has made the first pronouncement so he still have two more pronouncement to go, after which the marriage stands dissolved.

Only I don't know if it's rooted in Islamic or the Hausa culture.

Zulum:


In fact I suspect she doesn't love me

Because I have to struggle before we get married....its like a forced marriage, but not from me but from her parents

She is in love with a guy before, my mum asked me to check her.......i have seen many thing that I supposed to do you turn but I insist and


It's like she is trapped in my office, she doesn't appreciate me, she tells me whatever she likes, she insult me....and be telling me I am not doing anything to her apart from the house rent I am paying.

Walhy I loose weight, loose appetite, confused depressed.....

And I am doing very well financially, I am spending more than 300k in my house with 30days

Hmmmm. Such a sad story ops. I may not fully understand everything you’re going thru since your circumstances is uniquely different from mine, but trust me, I can identify with your situation.
But wouldn’t you rather stay alive and fight for shared custody of your son.? Even your son who’s the very reason your still married to her needs you ALIVE AND SAFE.
God forbids, if something bad happens to you in that marriage, would you miss your boy in death?
At this point of your life all that truly matters is your safety. You need to stay alive, and plot your way around raising your son.
Someone suggested here that you can take a break f 2-3 weeks, watch her reactions. If she’s genuinely sorry , she’ll come look for you.
Another thing I’ll like to add here is that you can involve the authorities and make her sign undertaking, that should something bad happens to you, she’ll be held responsible.
Don’t underrate anyone especially a woman with threat to life.
I wish you the best. Stay safe.

It is obvious you married the wrong woman. You know what to do as a man and I suggest you do it before it is too late. Stories abound of how wives stab their husbands to death in the north and I pray you are not added to that list. The foundation of that marriage is faulty, it is God only that can soften her heart.

Zulum, there’s a drug that kills slowly when they put it in your food, you won’t die until the next 2 years. And when you die , it will be of a well known decease.

Here is my advise for you, don’t divorce her, rent another house and visit her once a week, sometimes distance also helps marriage, when you guys miss each other, the love can come back.

Also, consider marrying another wife, women love competitions.

You'd rather want the boy to miss you that's what you're indirectly saying zulum.

If anything happens to you your son will still be alive oooo and will also suffer if possible be an alamajiri.

Up north women even have no right to hold on to your kids.

The reason many men die in marriage and relationship...is wetin people go talk...

Totis tois... Everything is in your hand.