₦airaland Forum

TheUnsure:
I need sensible contributions please, no trolls.

I met a man recently who likes me a lot, maybe even love sef. He’s really serious and he wants to marry me but I’m not really feeling the whole thing for a few reasons.

He’s probably a dream come true for some women, rich, caring, generous and there is a possibility of him becoming a king in some years (which I'm not really a fan of, royal families, royal issues). But my issue is that he has a wife already but they don’t have kids (the issue is from the wife) and he wants to marry me as second wife because he does not want to continue waiting after 10 years of marriage. And I know he would give me the world if I have kids with him.

My main problem is attraction, it is not there. He has a small stature and I’m naturally drawn to tall guys. I’m taller than he is and I just can’t get over that.
I know I would enjoy the relationship but I feel like I’m always going to be feeling like I settled. Please note, I’m a single mother of 2 in my early 30s and I’m not doing bad financially too. He’s been begging to be intimate and I’ve been responding with a firm No. I’m not interested in starting what I cannot finish. I know if I give in, I would grow to love him because he's actually a nice person but....

I told him No firmly last night that it can't work between us but this man has been relentless, I’m just wondering if I'm not making a mistake...

No insults please, sensible inputs. Thanks

Go for him the two of Una are balanced. You will save a soul by marrying him and heaven and his ancestors will rejoice with you. Mind you be careful with the first wife. Have it mind there is not you can do that will ever like you. Just act sane and don't disrespect her no matter her actions towarss you.

I swear'' while everybody is complaining offline.

crismark:
Lol.
Make i just shut up sha.
Na only for social media dem dey do well financially

If you don't like him, advice him to use his money for ivf with his wife

Exmilitant:
Even second hand you get choice
This life na wa o.

People like you probably went to school but unfortunately, school didn't go through them. The writer begged for sensible opinionists in her writing and since you know you are berieved of even an iota of sense, you should have kept quiet.

Let your No be No, and wait for your ideal man.

Next question pls!.

franchasofficia:
Hehe, this life no balance oh, look at me a beautiful damsel, tall, fine face, have slim body, flat tummy with killer hips and ass and a good job yet no reasonable guy is asking me out with seriousness, but here you are a single mother of 2 turning down a caring, rich, loving, soon to be king man, hahahaha life e no balance walai, ire oh

And because you don’t have kids you think you deserve better than I do? Lol. Because every single mother is fat, shapeless and jobless abi Lol

I mean, he worked hard to become rich so he’s not stupid. So ask yourself what he is seeing, why e wan die on too my matter. Ire oh

TheUnsure:
You are partially right. The wife is aware her husband is taking a second wife, they agreed to it because she medically can't have kids. But we know how these things work, no woman wants to see her husband take a second wife. So as with many polygamous homes you have to be watching your back...another con.

Sounds easy for you to say that his wife is aware and is in support. I don't think the story will be the same when you have children for the man and his affection for the first wife reduces?

A man of his state will be drawn towards the woman who has children for him than the one who does not. Think about it carefully.

Unfortunately yes

TheUnsure:
You are funny, oya clap for yourself.

Will you marry me?

I guess I fit into your profile. I know I’m good looking, and I am not short and I’m doing well. I’ve never been married nor have kids. Shebi na my type you dey find

TheUnsure:
No, I don’t need to tell you anything but your unfortunate mother needs to tell us how she ended up with a brainless mofo like you. Poor woman

I'm sure your lowlife mother raised you as a single mum as well....... talk of running in the family. If God gave you a brain you won't be sharing your shameful story here seeking advice imagine taking marital advice from a forum. Where you born by mistake?

Can someone please tell her to leave other people's husband. You're not doing bad financially,you are tall he's short,why not leave him and go after any decent guy out there?!Abi dem sign you for life as childless couple problem solver? Abi dem do you?!!!!

TheUnsure:
And because you don’t have kids you think you deserve better than I do? Lol. Because every single mother is fat, shapeless and jobless abi Lol

I mean, he worked hard to become rich so he’s not stupid. So ask yourself what he is seeing, why e wan die on too my matter. Ire oh

Ah me sope oti lo oh

TheUnsure:
I need sensible contributions please, no trolls.

I met a man recently who likes me a lot, maybe even love sef. He’s really serious and he wants to marry me but I’m not really feeling the whole thing for a few reasons.

He’s probably a dream come true for some women, rich, caring, generous and there is a possibility of him becoming a king in some years (which I'm not really a fan of, royal families, royal issues). But my issue is that he has a wife already but they don’t have kids (the issue is from the wife) and he wants to marry me as second wife because he does not want to continue waiting after 10 years of marriage. And I know he would give me the world if I have kids with him.

My main problem is attraction, it is not there. He has a small stature and I’m naturally drawn to tall guys. I’m taller than he is and I just can’t get over that.
I know I would enjoy the relationship but I feel like I’m always going to be feeling like I settled. Please note, I’m a single mother of 2 in my early 30s and I’m not doing bad financially too. He’s been begging to be intimate and I’ve been responding with a firm No. I’m not interested in starting what I cannot finish. I know if I give in, I would grow to love him because he's actually a nice person but....

I told him No firmly last night that it can't work between us but this man has been relentless, I’m just wondering if I'm not making a mistake...

No insults please, sensible inputs. Thanks

Yes, physical attributes are essential, but try look beyond just the physical attributes because even the devil is beautiful.

Omoawoke2:
Will you marry me?

I guess I fit into your profile. I know I’m good looking, and I am not short and I’m doing well. I’ve never been married nor have kids. Shebi na my type you dey find

Ehn but you get sense? Can you hold an intelligent convo? What are your financial plans for the next five, 10 years? I’m not a broke babe so money doesn’t move me.
I’m a firm believer in chemistry/connection. You could have all the things listed and still not be attractive to me. I know you were being sarcastic but I hope I have been able to clear you on some things.

DonBenny77:
I'm sure your lowlife mother raised you as a single mum as well....... talk of running in the family. If God gave you a brain you won't be sharing your shameful story here seeking advice imagine taking marital advice from a forum. Where you born by mistake?

O ti jo Lol

TheUnsure:
And because you don’t have kids you think you deserve better than I do? Lol. Because every single mother is fat, shapeless and jobless abi Lol

I mean, he worked hard to become rich so he’s not stupid. So ask yourself what he is seeing, why e wan die on too my matter. Ire oh

Abeg mo hear wurd!!!
Men want a woman with some class,sense and some self-respect. Which from the look of things,you are clearly lacking and lagging porously.

SonofGod231:
Abeg mo hear wurd!!!
Men want a woman with some class,sense and some self-respect. Which from looking at things,you are clearly lacking and lagging porously.

Son of man, why are you butthurt over a stranger, Pele tie o Lol

you have been making mistakes true true.

what else do you want from the man that you said has nice characters and pleasant to be with. you are focusing tooooo much on physical attributes which the man can not change. he does not have any control on how tall he should be.

what are you really waiting for, the wife has accepted you and you too have two children already. you are supposed to be a matured woman but mentally you are not.

just wait a little more time someone will come that young man way and off goes the opportunity. please relax your mind and recheck with the man and wife. take play play get familiar and tidy up your interests in the family.

God's blessings and guidance upon you.

TheUnsure:
Ehn but you get sense? Can you hold an intelligent convo? What are your financial plans for the next five, 10 years? I’m not a broke babe so money doesn’t move me.
I’m a firm believer in chemistry/connection. You could have all the things listed and still not be attractive to me. I know you were being sarcastic but I hope I have been able to clear you on some things.

Hahahah, I’m not sarcastic, you sound very intelligent though.
if it’s about smart, that’s one gift from God to me. I’m actually facing my own situation but mine is that I’m confused on who to pick among some girls. Life no balance. I can be your friend, but I honestly would prefer to marry a single girl. I don’t want my children to have step siblings.
Smart yoruba confident hardworking girl, chai… I like your type, now I know why the bros wan die ontop your matter. Apologies for my initial comment. You dey market !

vickydevoka:
Lol. Single mother of 2 to find somebody else, way sihle people stole de find

Since she has preferences, let her find her spec instead of complaining.

Omoawoke2:
Hahahah, I’m not sarcastic, you sound very intelligent though.
if it’s about smart, that’s one gift from God to me. I’m actually facing my own situation but mine is that I’m confused on who to pick among some girls. Life no balance. I can be your friend, but I honestly would prefer to marry a single girl. I don’t want my children to have step siblings.
Smart yoruba confident hardworking girl, chai… I like your type, now I know why the bros wan die ontop your matter. Apologies for my initial comment. You dey market !

Thank you but I no talk say I wan marry you before. Lol

Enjoy your weekend!

TheUnsure:
I need sensible contributions please, no trolls.

I met a man recently who likes me a lot, maybe even love sef. He’s really serious and he wants to marry me but I’m not really feeling the whole thing for a few reasons.

He’s probably a dream come true for some women, rich, caring, generous and there is a possibility of him becoming a king in some years (which I'm not really a fan of, royal families, royal issues). But my issue is that he has a wife already but they don’t have kids (the issue is from the wife) and he wants to marry me as second wife because he does not want to continue waiting after 10 years of marriage. And I know he would give me the world if I have kids with him.

My main problem is attraction, it is not there. He has a small stature and I’m naturally drawn to tall guys. I’m taller than he is and I just can’t get over that.
I know I would enjoy the relationship but I feel like I’m always going to be feeling like I settled. Please note, I’m a single mother of 2 in my early 30s and I’m not doing bad financially too. He’s been begging to be intimate and I’ve been responding with a firm No. I’m not interested in starting what I cannot finish. I know if I give in, I would grow to love him because he's actually a nice person but....

I told him No firmly last night that it can't work between us but this man has been relentless, I’m just wondering if I'm not making a mistake...

No insults please, sensible inputs. Thanks

So your main problem is not that he already has a wife and a home. Your main problem is not that you are about to be an accomplice to ruining another woman's happiness. Your main problem is not that you have little to no contribution to the current economic and spiritual standing of that man. Your main problem is not that you are about to enter a trap made of gold...Your main problem is looks. So if this man had good looks you would happily destroy the happiness of another woman.

Women are the worst enemies of women. Women beware of women like you ohhh.

TheUnsure:
I need sensible contributions please, no trolls.

I met a man recently who likes me a lot, maybe even love sef. He’s really serious and he wants to marry me but I’m not really feeling the whole thing for a few reasons.

He’s probably a dream come true for some women, rich, caring, generous and there is a possibility of him becoming a king in some years (which I'm not really a fan of, royal families, royal issues). But my issue is that he has a wife already but they don’t have kids (the issue is from the wife) and he wants to marry me as second wife because he does not want to continue waiting after 10 years of marriage. And I know he would give me the world if I have kids with him.

My main problem is attraction, it is not there. He has a small stature and I’m naturally drawn to tall guys. I’m taller than he is and I just can’t get over that.
I know I would enjoy the relationship but I feel like I’m always going to be feeling like I settled. Please note, I’m a single mother of 2 in my early 30s and I’m not doing bad financially too. He’s been begging to be intimate and I’ve been responding with a firm No. I’m not interested in starting what I cannot finish. I know if I give in, I would grow to love him because he's actually a nice person but....

I told him No firmly last night that it can't work between us but this man has been relentless, I’m just wondering if I'm not making a mistake...

No insults please, sensible inputs. Thanks

God is wise and their is a reason why he made us like who we like.
I give the hypothesis that there might be underlying biological reasons for it. Like for example ladies with big bums have good fact at their lower sections that protect their hearts and make them normally suffer less cardiovascular issues.
You may unknowingly too be fascinated about the person you are fascinated about because they will compliment some physical and biological issues you do not have.
I have met with 100s of ladies and I find out that somehow most of them do not always like football. They are most times also AA. There most be something that makes me attracted to those ladies.
Physical attributes is important really. Beyond all those material thing, physical attributes are what will make you always miss your partner

If you're not attracted to someone, you're not attracted and nothing can be done to change that except you wanna endure the marriage for the rest of your life. Besides this man may/does not truly love you. He's just trying to use you to have children and you're a good bet to him because you already have kids so the assurance is there he will get what he wants from you without delays.

Attraction is everything o cos I remember a guy that disturbed me for good 14 year in my former area. I kept refusing and refusing him each time he comes until I moved out of that area because the attraction was not there. He has this akward looks. Even when he graduated and started dressing corporate to look attractive (after seeing the kind of guys I pull with) I still didn't like him. He even threatened me, still.

Follow your heart. Marriage is all about attractions. The moment it's no longer there, forget it.

Anuty , is your choice to be a single mum forever or to be a second wife forever...

Ellasure:
you have been making mistakes true true.

what else do you want from the man that you said has nice characters and pleasant to be with. you are focusing tooooo much on physical attributes which the man can not change. he does not have any control on how tall he should be.

what are you really waiting for, the wife has accepted you and you too have two children already. you are supposed to be a matured woman but mentally you are not.

just wait a little more time someone will come that young man way and off goes the opportunity. please relax your mind and recheck with the man and wife. take play play get familiar and tidy up your interests in the family.

God's blessings and guidance upon you.

Na you no mature mentally. You should know there is a lot more to these family dynamics. So because the wife agreed to him marrying a second wife, she’s just going to embrace any woman he brings? Is it not possible that he marries someone, they have kids and then the person dies mysteriously, leaving the kids for his first wife to mother.
There are so many possibilities and I don’t like stress nor do I know how to do juju or hop from one pastor to another.

UcheKingsley1:
Aren't you?

Men are raw material.

Crazy

I am not. What's funny 🙄

TheUnsure:
I've been on my own since I was 27, so I'm supposed to live the rest of my life alone When I didn't kill anybody

Yes ohh. Spend the rest of your life alone. Afterall all men are scum including the one you are about to foolishly glue yourself to. You are here to seek validation for what you already plan to do. You are a single mother that is about to invade the home of another woman. Please remain single biko and leave all the scum men alone.

TheUnsure:
Thank you but I no talk say I wan marry you before. Lol

Enjoy your weekend!

Hahahah enjoy your weekend in Tinubu’s voice

efficiencie:
So your main problem is not that he already has a wife and a home. Your main problem is not that you are about to be an accomplice to ruining another woman's happiness. Your main problem is not that you have little to no contribution to the current economic and spiritual standing of that man. Your main problem is not that you are about to enter a trap made of gold...Your main problem is looks. So if this man had good looks you would happily destroy the happiness of another woman.

Women are the worst enemies of women. Women beware of women like you ohhh.

So the man should remain childless till he dies. Im not marrying him but another woman will and it’s up to the man to handle his home properly.

TheUnsure:
I need sensible contributions please, no trolls.

I met a man recently who likes me a lot, maybe even love sef. He’s really serious and he wants to marry me but I’m not really feeling the whole thing for a few reasons.

He’s probably a dream come true for some women, rich, caring, generous and there is a possibility of him becoming a king in some years (which I'm not really a fan of, royal families, royal issues). But my issue is that he has a wife already but they don’t have kids (the issue is from the wife) and he wants to marry me as second wife because he does not want to continue waiting after 10 years of marriage. And I know he would give me the world if I have kids with him.

My main problem is attraction, it is not there. He has a small stature and I’m naturally drawn to tall guys. I’m taller than he is and I just can’t get over that.
I know I would enjoy the relationship but I feel like I’m always going to be feeling like I settled. Please note, I’m a single mother of 2 in my early 30s and I’m not doing bad financially too. He’s been begging to be intimate and I’ve been responding with a firm No. I’m not interested in starting what I cannot finish. I know if I give in, I would grow to love him because he's actually a nice person but....

I told him No firmly last night that it can't work between us but this man has been relentless, I’m just wondering if I'm not making a mistake...

No insults please, sensible inputs. Thanks

Don't kill your fellow woman's joy. Would you be happy if you were the one in that woman's shoes. Have emphathy. Teach the man empathy too.
Wait to get a single man. God will give you, if you believe.

Pro:
He's rich and nice

Con:
He's short and unappealing to you.

You're considering the marriage because he's well to do, the issue of having a wife already isn't your main concern, the concern here is he's not attractive.

But again, I think there's more here. E.g. your kids, would the new arrangement be suits me for them.