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Re: Japa: I Am Confused, Please Advise. by OvertheTop(m): 12:23pm On Sep 02, 2023
flokii:
@OP Didn't you guys agree on relocation before your wife left for studies?..

In whatever you do, don't sell off your properties here in Nigeria cos it might be the only thing you'd fall back to.
When your wife completes her studies and secures a good job or pay rise, then you'd see her true nature. She'll want to be the one controlling you and be making all the decisions.

Summary of it all.. Plan well and have plan B in case things go south.

Legend!
Re: Japa: I Am Confused, Please Advise. by OvertheTop(m): 12:28pm On Sep 02, 2023
victorVIC1:
@ OP, your wife is a good woman. She's pushing to see the entire plans you both had from the get go come into reality. The reverse is the case for a lot of people, who get there and completely cut off from their family.

True.
Seems the Wife is a Good Woman.

Quite Rare

1 Like

Re: Japa: I Am Confused, Please Advise. by IamtheTruth1(m): 12:29pm On Sep 02, 2023
Usefulsense:
This is my story. Please advice.

I sent my wife to Australia in 2021 on student visa.

She has invited us, myself and our children aged 12 and 9 and our visa is out. I have also paid like 6 months fees for my children school which was a requirement for the visa.

Owing to her performance at her work place, the company she works for has promised to sponsor for PR. Infact, the process just began and we are sure of having the PR.

I am currently 48 and won't be able to support my family working in Nigeria. Wify has encouraged me that we will be fine that abroad is meant for 2 people.

My only constraint is my age, hence my question. If you are in my shoe, will you travel?

By the way, I work for a private firm here in Nigeria and you know what it is working for a family company.


Cut yourself some slack. You are just 48 not 88. Go and read up the story of the owner of KFC brand.

The only constraint humans really have is death
Re: Japa: I Am Confused, Please Advise. by oyebanji(m): 12:30pm On Sep 02, 2023
Please do not allow self-doubt to stop you. At the minimum, you will have your family as a whole under one roof.
Secondly, there is no way you won't find something to do that you can build on. As you know working in private companies in Nigeria could be unpredictable.

Usefulsense:
This is my story. Please advice.

I sent my wife to Australia in 2021 on student visa.

She has invited us, myself and our children aged 12 and 9 and our visa is out. I have also paid like 6 months fees for my children school which was a requirement for the visa.

Owing to her performance at her work place, the company she works for has promised to sponsor for PR. Infact, the process just began and we are sure of having the PR.

I am currently 48 and won't be able to support my family working in Nigeria. Wify has encouraged me that we will be fine that abroad is meant for 2 people.

My only constraint is my age, hence my question. If you are in my shoe, will you travel?

By the way, I work for a private firm here in Nigeria and you know what it is working for a family company.

Re: Japa: I Am Confused, Please Advise. by deltateam: 12:33pm On Sep 02, 2023
Usefulsense:


To be honest with you, the plan is for the entire family to migrate.

In fact, i did my ielts last year and made 7,7, 7.5, 7

As soon as our visa grant came out, I started developing cold feet on account of age.

She has advised that I go and learn forklift driving.
I will commence that this month.

You're lucky to have a supportive wife. Put your head down and learn. You'll be shocked that your salary there may be higher than a bank branch manager in Nigeria.

Don't quarrell your wife when you get there otherwise na deportation.

Leave some lifeline in Nigeria just in case it backfires. Good luck!

1 Like

Re: Japa: I Am Confused, Please Advise. by tubolancer(m): 12:35pm On Sep 02, 2023
felixzo1:
If I may ask what was your motive for sending your wife for studies? Why do you think at 48 you change profession or start a different Field? You are still young, Nigeria makes one feel too old
Chai, this man, NIGERIA MAKES ONE FEEL OLD. This is nothing but the truth.
Re: Japa: I Am Confused, Please Advise. by OvertheTop(m): 12:35pm On Sep 02, 2023
Blazebond:
Only a fool will tell you not to be afraid of the UNCERTAINTY and at the same time,only a coward will tell you to be afraid of the UNCERTAINTY,life is an adventure and the best people to take on that adventure with is FAMILY,I advise you to have a sweet talk with your wife and lay out all this your fears to her i.e your age advancement,and your lucrative employment that you currently have in Nigeria,also tell her that you might find it difficult to switch from a comfortable white collar clerical job to a more physically demanding blue collar and somewhat below your status job,let her know all this things,speak to her,let her voice and reasonings assure you that all will be fine then shake that fear and vamoose at once to AUSTRALIA,I wish you and your family the best in your new adventures.

Great Advise.
And He should not Sell his property in Nigeria. it can be a Cushion Just in case.....
Re: Japa: I Am Confused, Please Advise. by KingLion007(m): 12:36pm On Sep 02, 2023
Usefulsense:


To be honest with you, the plan is for the entire family to migrate.

In fact, i did my ielts last year and made 7,7, 7.5, 7

As soon as our visa grant came out, I started developing cold feet on account of age.

She has advised that I go and learn forklift driving.
I will commence that this month.
Forklift driving pays alot over there. So hurry up
Re: Japa: I Am Confused, Please Advise. by Leebeedo(m): 12:37pm On Sep 02, 2023
Usefulsense:


To be honest with you, the plan is for the entire family to migrate.

In fact, i did my ielts last year and made 7,7, 7.5, 7

As soon as our visa grant came out, I started developing cold feet on account of age.

She has advised that I go and learn forklift driving.
I will commence that this month.

Nope brother, go learn truck driving (those 9-11) and thank me later. My only issue with it is that you won't be at home most of the time. They make cool cash in Australia. If you don't like driving, I'll advise you go for care giving training. There is a specific type of care giving for special needs kids where all you do is go to their home and watch them and they pay very well. If you get night shift, na sleep you dey go sleep almost all through cos the kids will be asleep. They pay like 40 AUD / hr
Re: Japa: I Am Confused, Please Advise. by TheGift: 12:38pm On Sep 02, 2023
felixzo1:
If I may ask what was your motive for sending your wife for studies? Why do you think at 48 you change profession or starting a different Field. You are still young, Nigeria makes one feel too old

Not to say someone can't start something new at 48, but throwing away all the time and effort invested before then to start from scratch is not necessarily a smart thing to do at that age.

6 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Japa: I Am Confused, Please Advise. by Badmashii(m): 12:38pm On Sep 02, 2023
Ishilove:

Oga, not everyone plays bet so it is difficult to understand this your analogy.

grin Where are my fellow betnaija punters? Oya mek una help this banny understand wetin she no grab.

2 Likes

Re: Japa: I Am Confused, Please Advise. by Michael5143: 12:38pm On Sep 02, 2023
Bro you're blessed
Re: Japa: I Am Confused, Please Advise. by MrNipplesLover(m): 12:39pm On Sep 02, 2023
A 48-year-old youth and feeling old? undecided

Baba, u just dey start life... u're a youth and should feel youthful of ur age...

The moment u feel u are old, na that time grey hair go take over ur head and u go start appearing old...

To me, old age starts from 65...

Abeg, go and make use of ur youthful age in a country that works....

All the best to u. ✌
Re: Japa: I Am Confused, Please Advise. by ezegold4we: 12:40pm On Sep 02, 2023
@ OP,

pls let me remind u that ur greatest investment and achievement is your marriage and family, not the 1.1million net income you are making every month in Nigeria, u will definitely Make More than that in Australia with Peace of mind,

Secondly, age is Just a number, when u get here, u will see married Men of 55yrs stepping into Australia to settle down with their families, buhari took power in 2015 and before we knew it, his 8yrs of suffering and killings Just ended, now Jagaban is in charge, u will still be considering ur age and his 8yrs will elapse,pls once again forget ur age, unless there are other personal reaaons why u dont want to unite with ur wife in Australia,

Thirdly, forget about ur fears about work , there are lots of jobs in Australia, try and take a step first, u can't stay in nija and be assuming things,

Pls don't be confused at this stage of ur life, be decisive,

Finally, remember, family is everything.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Japa: I Am Confused, Please Advise. by bigtt76(f): 12:43pm On Sep 02, 2023
Baba ..brace up and take that flight out except you are one of those '....favour me and my family' At 48 start angling towards managerial roles. Take more courses and upskill to match your new environment. All the best


Usefulsense:
This is my story. Please advice.

I sent my wife to Australia in 2021 on student visa.

She has invited us, myself and our children aged 12 and 9 and our visa is out. I have also paid like 6 months fees for my children school which was a requirement for the visa.

Owing to her performance at her work place, the company she works for has promised to sponsor for PR. Infact, the process just began and we are sure of having the PR.

I am currently 48 and won't be able to support my family working in Nigeria. Wify has encouraged me that we will be fine that abroad is meant for 2 people.

My only constraint is my age, hence my question. If you are in my shoe, will you travel?

By the way, I work for a private firm here in Nigeria and you know what it is working for a family company.

Re: Japa: I Am Confused, Please Advise. by Gerrard59(m): 12:44pm On Sep 02, 2023
Kenn55:
@op.

After 30 years of age with kids coming or about to come, your life is no longer yours alone. You should dedicate your life to your next generation, your kids. At this point, your decision in anything you do should be based on first how it benefits your kids or future kids before yourself. If it benefits you but not your kids, I'll say no but if it benefits my kids and not me, I'll say yes. While you were greedy and selfish before 30, this stage requires you to be selfless and be ready to be a sacrificial lamb and allow your family to be greedy. This is my own philosophy that guides me, anyone can have a different philosophy.


The decision to migrate is solely based on your view. Look at what you desire most and see how your decision will affect it. Again, there are no guarantees anywhere in this world, we just have to do the best we can to achieve our desires.

God go bless you. Una don see how people dey take advise others regarding relocation? Whereas Sukkot and his gangsters especially the one who terms himself RaptoX would spew mumbo-jumbo up and down?

See it?

cc; Apart from the stated age, we share the same philosophy.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Japa: I Am Confused, Please Advise. by Altern8tor: 12:45pm On Sep 02, 2023
Usefulsense:
This is my story. Please advice.

I sent my wife to Australia in 2021 on student visa.

She has invited us, myself and our children aged 12 and 9 and our visa is out. I have also paid like 6 months fees for my children school which was a requirement for the visa.

Owing to her performance at her work place, the company she works for has promised to sponsor for PR. Infact, the process just began and we are sure of having the PR.

I am currently 48 and won't be able to support my family working in Nigeria. Wify has encouraged me that we will be fine that abroad is meant for 2 people.

My only constraint is my age, hence my question. If you are in my shoe, will you travel?

By the way, I work for a private firm here in Nigeria and you know what it is working for a family company.

U can take a pay cut from your company and work remotely from Abroad,, travel abroad to join dem and come back to Nigeria occasionally to handle wat needs to be done at work physically...Your subordinates can be sending you official documents via emails to work on while abroad,,hope you get what I mean?

2 Likes

Re: Japa: I Am Confused, Please Advise. by kapelvej: 12:47pm On Sep 02, 2023
Kenn55:
@op.
First of all, there is no 100% guarantee in life. Not everyone who migrates or don't migrate abroad will be successful. Have this at the back of your mind. Life itself is a risk.

Let me tell you about my own philosophy. I subscribe to the view that the first 30 years of your life is yours. Enjoy every bit of it, you can think about yourself alone, you can be selfish and take decisions that benefit you and you alone. If you want to explore in sambisa, do it, it's all yours

After 30 years of age with kids coming or about to come, your life is no longer yours alone. You should dedicate your life to your next generation, your kids. At this point, your decision in anything you do should be based on first how it benefits your kids or future kids before yourself. If it benefits you but not your kids, I'll say no but if it benefits my kids and not me, I'll say yes. While you were greedy and selfish before 30, this stage requires you to be selfless and be ready to be a sacrificial lamb and allow your family to be greedy. This is my own philosophy that guides me, anyone can have a different philosophy.

This philosophy helped me make decision years ago about migrating. I asked myself, how do I ensure my children are better positioned with more opportunities when they grow up especially in today's uncertain times? After some research, I came to the conclusion that giving them the opportunity to become global citizens will give them more and better options down the road. They won't be restricted to just Nigeria, they will have options in other countries as well. Since I didn't give birth to them abroad, the only option was to relocate. Because I had the money and opportunity to migrate LEGALLY, I took the chance. I wouldn't have done that if there was no legal way to do that even with my desires. I discourage illegal immigration, it is not worth it.


I had no reason to migrate cos I was doing well but I put them first. Before I left, recognizing that there is no guarantee abroad, I had already conditioned my mind that even if I end up not getting what I worth abroad but my children succeed, I'm okay, it is a sacrifice I'm willing to make. But at the end, thank God it worked fine for me, i made a career pivot when i got abroad and boom, i became even more successful than i was in Nigeria but I was ready to accept my fate if it didn't work out.

As Canadian citizens, I and my children can decide to come back to Nigeria tomorrow to work or do business, can decide to work or do business in Canada or the US. These are 3 options available to my kids now and I have never been happier.

Note that there are kids or people who have 5 strong passports but are useless so it is not always a guarantee but I believe as a parent, it is my duty to do the best I can to position them in a way they can become more successful and hope it works out at the end.

The decision to migrate is solely based on your view. Look at what you desire most and see how your decision will affect it. Again, there are no guarantees anywhere in this world, we just have to do the best we can to achieve our desires.
na man you be
Re: Japa: I Am Confused, Please Advise. by DrAkpamudehe: 12:48pm On Sep 02, 2023
Op, after I left government in 2015, I relocated to Australia with my family, went back to school at 43, it wasn't easy considering my status in Nigeria as of that time, but it's a decision I don't regret taking. Today, I and my family are Australian citizens. And I do come home to Nigeria quarterly to monitor my businesses. I am in my 50s now, but I am still very active in the Australian labour force. Do not limit yourself, grab the opportunity, because Australia is currently changing immigration policies and you may never have this opportunity again in your life time

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: Japa: I Am Confused, Please Advise. by InvertedHammer: 12:50pm On Sep 02, 2023
Usefulsense:
This is my story. Please advice.

I sent my wife to Australia in 2021 on student visa.

She has invited us, myself and our children aged 12 and 9 and our visa is out. I have also paid like 6 months fees for my children school which was a requirement for the visa.

Owing to her performance at her work place, the company she works for has promised to sponsor for PR. Infact, the process just began and we are sure of having the PR.

I am currently 48 and won't be able to support my family working in Nigeria. Wify has encouraged me that we will be fine that abroad is meant for 2 people.

My only constraint is my age, hence my question. If you are in my shoe, will you travel?

By the way, I work for a private firm here in Nigeria and you know what it is working for a family company.

/
Your case is simple.

Ask yourself one question: What's the worst thing that can happen?

Be honest with yourself in your answer. That's the only guide you need.

/
Re: Japa: I Am Confused, Please Advise. by bolousadex: 12:51pm On Sep 02, 2023
48 is not old in a country where life expectancy is 70+. You think you r old because you r in Nigeria where life expectancy is less than 60. At 60, people are still active working abroad. Infact retirement age is 65 in most of these countries. I only addressed the age concern since that's your challenge
Re: Japa: I Am Confused, Please Advise. by Gerrard59(m): 12:51pm On Sep 02, 2023
RaptorX:
By the time she called the Australian police on you and throw you out like a stray dog at almost 50 your eyes go clear. Australia that have had female prime Ministers before, any Western country with female leaders past and present are hotbed of feminism.

Nairaland's Resident Demon.

As usual, lying through his filthy fingers. Australia has had only one female prime minister - Julia Gillard. The same Julia accused her opponents of voting to remove her as the leader of the party because of her gender. How, then is that a feminist hotbed? Feminist hotbed yet the wife he sponsored is encouraging her husband to join her? If the woman was as bad as you mendaciously claim, how come she did not cut off the man after all she had nothing to lose?

Not only are you a demon, you are a despicable and disingenuous one at that.

Spits!!!!

6 Likes 1 Share

Re: Japa: I Am Confused, Please Advise. by Ishilove: 12:51pm On Sep 02, 2023
From chartered accountant to forklift driver...

For someone like me, that would be soul destroying because I value my inner peace and mental wellbeing. If I'm not enjoying my job I will be very, very miserable and dissatisfied with life.

8 Likes 1 Share

Re: Japa: I Am Confused, Please Advise. by Menclothing: 12:52pm On Sep 02, 2023
Go and hustle and come back years later to set up company here
Re: Japa: I Am Confused, Please Advise. by Gerrard59(m): 12:57pm On Sep 02, 2023
Smartguyboy:

You people keep saying for the kid’s future how many African parents can send they kids to best schools or nice university abroad?

In the US, this is very rampant. Second-generation Nigerian-Americans are enjoying the fruits of their parents' labour. As Americans and blacks, they enjoy lots of privileges. Access to loans to study (good a thing they study relevant courses), scholarships and job opportunities. In doing it for the children's future, I dare say first generation Nigerian-Americans have won it.

Also, as citizens, they get the first chance at attending good universities at low costs. A Nigerian from Nigeria would pay higher fees at the University of Texas. But a second generation would pay very low fees at the same university and is guaranteed automatic admission if s/he topped his/her high school graduating class in Texas.

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: Japa: I Am Confused, Please Advise. by decatalyst(m): 12:58pm On Sep 02, 2023
Kenn55:
@op.
First of all, there is no 100% guarantee in life. Not everyone who migrates or don't migrate abroad will be successful. Have this at the back of your mind. Life itself is a risk.

Let me tell you about my own philosophy. I subscribe to the view that the first 30 years of your life is yours. Enjoy every bit of it, you can think about yourself alone, you can be selfish and take decisions that benefit you and you alone. If you want to explore in sambisa, do it, it's all yours

After 30 years of age with kids coming or about to come, your life is no longer yours alone. You should dedicate your life to your next generation, your kids. At this point, your decision in anything you do should be based on first how it benefits your kids or future kids before yourself. If it benefits you but not your kids, I'll say no but if it benefits my kids and not me, I'll say yes. While you were greedy and selfish before 30, this stage requires you to be selfless and be ready to be a sacrificial lamb and allow your family to be greedy. This is my own philosophy that guides me, anyone can have a different philosophy.

This philosophy helped me make decision years ago about migrating. I asked myself, how do I ensure my children are better positioned with more opportunities when they grow up especially in today's uncertain times? After some research, I came to the conclusion that giving them the opportunity to become global citizens will give them more and better options down the road. They won't be restricted to just Nigeria, they will have options in other countries as well. Since I didn't give birth to them abroad, the only option was to relocate. Because I had the money and opportunity to migrate LEGALLY, I took the chance. I wouldn't have done that if there was no legal way to do that even with my desires. I discourage illegal immigration, it is not worth it.


I had no reason to migrate cos I was doing well but I put them first. Before I left, recognizing that there is no guarantee abroad, I had already conditioned my mind that even if I end up not getting what I worth abroad but my children succeed, I'm okay, it is a sacrifice I'm willing to make. But at the end, thank God it worked fine for me, i made a career pivot when i got abroad and boom, i became even more successful than i was in Nigeria but I was ready to accept my fate if it didn't work out.

As Canadian citizens, I and my children can decide to come back to Nigeria tomorrow to work or do business, can decide to work or do business in Canada or the US. These are 3 options available to my kids now and I have never been happier.

Note that there are kids or people who have 5 strong passports but are useless so it is not always a guarantee but I believe as a parent, it is my duty to do the best I can to position them in a way they can become more successful and hope it works out at the end.

The decision to migrate is solely based on your view. Look at what you desire most and see how your decision will affect it. Again, there are no guarantees anywhere in this world, we just have to do the best we can to achieve our desires.

I want to say I LOVE YOU for this!

I am happy we still have MEN.

Men with their logical capabilities still very intact. You kinda used some metrics to arrive that the best decision. Kudos sir.

A man must have something to live for and the best things to live for is family, the truth, and the faith.

It is in men nature to take risks and live with its consequences. Good or bad, the intention always corroborate the end.

1 Like

Re: Japa: I Am Confused, Please Advise. by Dennisochampa: 12:59pm On Sep 02, 2023
Asking this question makes me angry... Broz you suppose Don go sef....

U will get work there.... Even if na fork lift driver.... You go earn pass wetin you dey get for 9ja...broz abeg go..... God be with you...

I tap from your grace... Amen
Re: Japa: I Am Confused, Please Advise. by Oshin56(m): 1:03pm On Sep 02, 2023
Badmashii:


grin Where are my fellow betnaija punters? Oya mek una help this banny understand wetin she no grab.
that this life is all about risk(50/50 chance)

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Japa: I Am Confused, Please Advise. by bomsilaga(m): 1:08pm On Sep 02, 2023
rotadeco27:

Oga hear me very well, Iam a doctor and willing to do that.
Just go and do not have any hesitation.
Once u can drive well , go learn how to drive trucks , believe you me, you will make more money than your wife. Australia is a low taxed county, and people that do such aforementioned works make good cash. I have many friends over there encouraging me to come around, I was asked to do same so I can be working while preparing for AMC, then go back into the health sector. For the sake of your children and your sanity go make money and return to invest. Your children will have topnotch education and exposure, it will be easier to migrate to other climes of your choice and usually withing 4 yrs or so you people will be citizen. Now that our currency is messed up, working abroad and investing back home is the best company any one can establish,just have a trust worth person back home.
Great advice but Australia is not a low taxed country. The exposure will look like a negative one once the kids reach Australia.
Re: Japa: I Am Confused, Please Advise. by trespas: 1:09pm On Sep 02, 2023
First of all God bless ur wife! Truly she is ur soul mate. Her counsel is devine she has looked into d future n has communicated to u.
U have done well urself n going forward it's about ur kids age 48 is young having attained that in Nigeria by d time u relocate nature will reset u to 38 owing to existing in a functional society Nigeria by default tends to degenerate us in all aspect but our resilience is what makes d difference however it takes it toll but upon moving u will experience a rebirth especially in the loving care of ur soul mate u will experience fulfilment. Do u still have a doubt about immediate relocation? God bless u.

1 Like

Re: Japa: I Am Confused, Please Advise. by bejick(m): 1:13pm On Sep 02, 2023
Acidosis:


Not necessarily. As I age, I believe I would be less inclined to take certain risks. At 50 years old, I certainly won't exchange certainty for uncertainty. After 20-25 years of accounting practice, I wouldn't consider learning how to kill snakes or operate a forklift, regardless of the $$$ offered.

Please note that these are my personal views, and I'm not advising or suggesting that you go or stay back.

baba no listen to this guy, make the move the first 6months will not be easy but it can not be worst than Nigeria. You can make your one month salary in two weeks with minor jobs not to talk of when God bless you with proper office work. You go dey ball.
Re: Japa: I Am Confused, Please Advise. by Alamkir: 1:13pm On Sep 02, 2023
Sound like a show off because I dnt see any problem here

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