₦airaland Forum

CoronaVirusPro:
What's difficult in adopting if it's for love?

If gays are doing it for love, how much more straight peeps!

If you have opportunities not to adopt will you leave it and go adopt?

Justbehave:
If you have opportunities not to adopt will you leave it and go adopt?

If I am truly in-love, I will.

What matters most is waking up next to that person every morning. Have you ever heard the saying that "Love conquers all"

CoronaVirusPro:
If I am truly in-love, I will.

What matters most is waking up next to that person every morning. Have you ever heard the saying that "Love conquers all"

Lol. It's when you get married that's when you will understand that love alone doesn't keep marriage. Besides,did you read the reasons why he needed to be sure of fertility before the marriage? If yes,then you wouldn't be talking about adoption here

beekind:
■ I am not saying I want to do that, I am just saying it's not an option. You are not considering all the other variables I stated up there, do you consider the kind of pain my parents will go through if their only other child falls into this pit of infertility again ?
■ Try and understand the variables surrounding this and I am sure you won't be this judgemental.

1. I should consider your parents because marriage is meant for the sake and comfort of one's parents?

2. What variables? You already stated outright that your love for procreation is far greater than this girl in your life so I am not certain why you wish for us to believe you are confused...simply set her free is what you ought to do.

beekind:
■ Walking away is not always as easy as you make it seem, especially when the whole family is already involved in planning for the marriage.

It's not easy so you should hold her hostage abi??

Please don't toy with infertility, it will break you, it will cause you pain you have never felt, it will discount everything you have ever worked for, it will bring you shame and make you curse the day you were born, your love for your spouse will wane and you will wonder why you had to go through this pain. You will pray and pray, people will tell you it's because you haven't fasted, you will fast, they will say it is because you haven't done another thing.

I will recommend you forget societal standards and do what works for you.

deewhydoski:
■ Make she go find a man abeg, you people will just be giving advices like say na play den dey do for marriage.
What is the joy of marriage if there is no children, the love will clear for their eyes if after 7 years they cant conceive. Love is not enough in marriage o. Enter one and see how things be.

Joy of marriage indeed! At least 5 million of that "joy of marriage" walk around abandoned on the streets of Nigeria everyday... without anyone to care for them. Just some weeks ago, I read of a man abandoning 5 of that "joy of marriage" right after which his wife followed suit. "Joy of marriage" my arse!

Bebetter:
There is no dilemma! The marriage plans just have to be halted at this point. You are just being in denial of the obvious. And this your procrastination is going to cost you and everybody involved 100 times more pain and heartache. Call everything off now! Be a man, use your head! You one wait now… until it will be too late and you can’t stop anything again. Instead make you stop all the plans first now that you have not done traditional or white wedding. You want to delay till when u print IV abi? Dey play.

Exactly! None whatsoever!

Adanambra1:
■ Firstly you need to give you life to Jesus Christ. and surrender totally... before you can partner with the holyspirit. He will be your best adviser and teacher. what i perceived in my spirit is if you want your case to be different, if you dont want your family propensity with child bearing not to come close to you.. you need to act differently... leave this your human calculation. prayerfully walk out of that circle... with the way you are going about this your marriage calculation. you want to repeat the chain reaction'

Abeg getaway! All the barren people wey full your churches, your gods of men don give dem child finish? Una go just dey prescribe Christ Upandan when no be Christ promise una glory for deceiving souls but your gods of men wey no even fit call una make una come share their food. Nonsense!

Kobojunkie:
Joy of marriage indeed! At least 5 million of that "joy of marriage" walk around abandoned on the streets of Nigeria everyday... without anyone to care for them. Just some weeks ago, I read of a man abandoning 5 of that "joy of marriage" right after which his wife followed suit. "Joy of marriage" my arse!

Ok pray make you marry and no born then

deewhydoski:
■ Ok pray make you marry and no born then

Abegi go siddon for corner!

This kobojunkie you be real junkie sha.

beekind:
I am the 2nd born out of 2 children, my elder brother has been married for some time with no kids as a result I am super careful with issues relating to fertility.
I am in my late 30s and have been dating a 27 year old lady for 4 months now, the relationship moved so fast as she is a perfect match for me .
I have met her family and she has met mine, we are already planning marriage and have started counselling sessions in her church.

She complained of irregular periods so I told her to do a hormonal profile test and see a gynecologist, turns out she has got PCOS.

I have done my own fertility test and I am fine, I am at a cross road now, I cannot afford to struggle with child birth considering my age and also my only other sibling still also having issues with the wife also still trying to get pregnant after many years.

The only other option would have been to ask her to try for pregnancy before marriage but she is a virgin and wants to keep it that way till wedding, besides if I disvirgin her, how will I be able to walk away incase she doesn't get pregnant ?

I am at crossroads now, its not too late but walking away at this point will be very costly for me since we have already started plans towards the wedding and our families are already in touch.

My heart is heavy and I am confused, I need good advise as I cannot discuss this with anyone.

I think you're a SIMP ...only a Modest one.
Just go ahead and marry her
You said she's the perfect match...wat more do you want in this imperfect world.
You will suffer if you leave that damsel to dry.
Go and fear not

beekind:
I am the 2nd born out of 2 children, my elder brother has been married for some time with no kids as a result I am super careful with issues relating to fertility.
I am in my late 30s and have been dating a 27 year old lady for 4 months now, the relationship moved so fast as she is a perfect match for me .
I have met her family and she has met mine, we are already planning marriage and have started counselling sessions in her church.

She complained of irregular periods so I told her to do a hormonal profile test and see a gynecologist, turns out she has got PCOS.

I have done my own fertility test and I am fine, I am at a cross road now, I cannot afford to struggle with child birth considering my age and also my only other sibling still also having issues with the wife also still trying to get pregnant after many years.

The only other option would have been to ask her to try for pregnancy before marriage but she is a virgin and wants to keep it that way till wedding, besides if I disvirgin her, how will I be able to walk away incase she doesn't get pregnant ?

I am at crossroads now, its not too late but walking away at this point will be very costly for me since we have already started plans towards the wedding and our families are already in touch.

My heart is heavy and I am confused, I need good advise as I cannot discuss this with anyone.

Eeeyah

We all know but why must you be the one to tell him…

Uyi168:
.
i can bet my 2balls that your banny is not a virgin.

beekind:
I am the 2nd born out of 2 children, my elder brother has been married for some time with no kids as a result I am super careful with issues relating to fertility.
I am in my late 30s and have been dating a 27 year old lady for 4 months now, the relationship moved so fast as she is a perfect match for me .
I have met her family and she has met mine, we are already planning marriage and have started counselling sessions in her church.

She complained of irregular periods so I told her to do a hormonal profile test and see a gynecologist, turns out she has got PCOS.

I have done my own fertility test and I am fine, I am at a cross road now, I cannot afford to struggle with child birth considering my age and also my only other sibling still also having issues with the wife also still trying to get pregnant after many years.

The only other option would have been to ask her to try for pregnancy before marriage but she is a virgin and wants to keep it that way till wedding, besides if I disvirgin her, how will I be able to walk away incase she doesn't get pregnant ?

I am at crossroads now, its not too late but walking away at this point will be very costly for me since we have already started plans towards the wedding and our families are already in touch.

My heart is heavy and I am confused, I need good advise as I cannot discuss this with anyone.

Bro, you don't need to think far on this. Since you can't sleep with her to preg her cos of the virginity stuff, kindly go ahead and break the realtionship.

Find someone who is not a virgin, impregnate her and continue your life.

You don't want to go through those herculean process of PCOS sh1t.

beekind:
I am the 2nd born out of 2 children, my elder brother has been married for some time with no kids as a result I am super careful with issues relating to fertility.
I am in my late 30s and have been dating a 27 year old lady for 4 months now, the relationship moved so fast as she is a perfect match for me .
I have met her family and she has met mine, we are already planning marriage and have started counselling sessions in her church.

She complained of irregular periods so I told her to do a hormonal profile test and see a gynecologist, turns out she has got PCOS.

I have done my own fertility test and I am fine, I am at a cross road now, I cannot afford to struggle with child birth considering my age and also my only other sibling still also having issues with the wife also still trying to get pregnant after many years.

The only other option would have been to ask her to try for pregnancy before marriage but she is a virgin and wants to keep it that way till wedding, besides if I disvirgin her, how will I be able to walk away incase she doesn't get pregnant ?

I am at crossroads now, its not too late but walking away at this point will be very costly for me since we have already started plans towards the wedding and our families are already in touch.

My heart is heavy and I am confused, I need good advise as I cannot discuss this with anyone.

Simple, insist on pregnancy before marriage

The ball is in your court ...
It funny when people say I love you when they mean I like you ...

Your title (the wording) is misleading because it sounds as though she's the 40-year old when you're the 40-year old. She's only 27 and is therefore the one who should be worried about marrying an old person who will probably have more health issues than her, so if you ask me it's her who should leave you and find someone closer to her age.

beekind:
I am the 2nd born out of 2 children, my elder brother has been married for some time with no kids as a result I am super careful with issues relating to fertility.
I am in my late 30s and have been dating a 27 year old lady for 4 months now, the relationship moved so fast as she is a perfect match for me .
I have met her family and she has met mine, we are already planning marriage and have started counselling sessions in her church.

She complained of irregular periods so I told her to do a hormonal profile test and see a gynecologist, turns out she has got PCOS.

I have done my own fertility test and I am fine, I am at a cross road now, I cannot afford to struggle with child birth considering my age and also my only other sibling still also having issues with the wife also still trying to get pregnant after many years.

The only other option would have been to ask her to try for pregnancy before marriage but she is a virgin and wants to keep it that way till wedding, besides if I disvirgin her, how will I be able to walk away incase she doesn't get pregnant ?

I am at crossroads now, its not too late but walking away at this point will be very costly for me since we have already started plans towards the wedding and our families are already in touch.

My heart is heavy and I am confused, I need good advise as I cannot discuss this with anyone.

Can it be treated?
Is there a percentage that she can give birth?

If both answers are Yes, then go ahead and marry her.

If there's a no, somewhere - it's better to part ways now than cause undule hardship for her or yourself in future.

Goodluck.

emmeyen:
She get fertility problem but you no fit comot eye from her virginity. I thought it was promiscuity that makes a woman infertile. Comot eye from that girl and let her marry someone who loves her. Else, If you deflower her with the aim of dumping her because of failure to get pregnant before marriage, you will never see those children you want to have from another woman. Some of you don't understand life sha.

Beekind, this is words on marble. Take it to the bank and cash it

beekind:
I am the 2nd born out of 2 children, my elder brother has been married for some time with no kids as a result I am super careful with issues relating to fertility.
I am in my late 30s and have been dating a 27 year old lady for 4 months now, the relationship moved so fast as she is a perfect match for me .
I have met her family and she has met mine, we are already planning marriage and have started counselling sessions in her church.

She complained of irregular periods so I told her to do a hormonal profile test and see a gynecologist, turns out she has got PCOS.

I have done my own fertility test and I am fine, I am at a cross road now, I cannot afford to struggle with child birth considering my age and also my only other sibling still also having issues with the wife also still trying to get pregnant after many years.

The only other option would have been to ask her to try for pregnancy before marriage but she is a virgin and wants to keep it that way till wedding, besides if I disvirgin her, how will I be able to walk away incase she doesn't get pregnant ?

I am at crossroads now, its not too late but walking away at this point will be very costly for me since we have already started plans towards the wedding and our families are already in touch.

My heart is heavy and I am confused, I need good advise as I cannot discuss this with anyone.

Nothing you have explained is too costly for you and you've not gone Any far. U said you've been dating for 4 months? You de learn. Dude, if pregnancy is a concern for you, jus walk away jeje before water pass Garri. This is the best time to decide wether to go on or to quit. The choice and consequences are yours.

So you're still among the people who will get married to a woman without knowing if they'd be sexually compatible?

Now you're worried about children and rightly so, perhaps she wants to hoodwink you into marrying her first just in case she has a problem. It seems you're rushing because she tells you she's a virgin, hope she is eventually.


You're taking a leap in the dark. You can always marry a second wife if it turns out according to your fears

beekind:
I am the 2nd born out of 2 children, my elder brother has been married for some time with no kids as a result I am super careful with issues relating to fertility.
I am in my late 30s and have been dating a 27 year old lady for 4 months now, the relationship moved so fast as she is a perfect match for me .
I have met her family and she has met mine, we are already planning marriage and have started counselling sessions in her church.

She complained of irregular periods so I told her to do a hormonal profile test and see a gynecologist, turns out she has got PCOS.

I have done my own fertility test and I am fine, I am at a cross road now, I cannot afford to struggle with child birth considering my age and also my only other sibling still also having issues with the wife also still trying to get pregnant after many years.

The only other option would have been to ask her to try for pregnancy before marriage but she is a virgin and wants to keep it that way till wedding, besides if I disvirgin her, how will I be able to walk away incase she doesn't get pregnant ?

I am at crossroads now, its not too late but walking away at this point will be very costly for me since we have already started plans towards the wedding and our families are already in touch.

My heart is heavy and I am confused, I need good advise as I cannot discuss this with anyone.

Best fertility test is for u to get her pregnant, even for me she will have to birth the child and the child would have grown old enough to be part of our wedding train.

Virginity doesn't guarantee that she'll make a good wife, some halots are even better than some of those ones claiming virgin.

Children is from God i know person wey dey knack him wife 1hr till date they are still looking for child after 711yrs

Forget virgin, what we have now is imaginary virgin and likely a thorn in your flesh when you finally marry her.

Lastly, i am a medical person and i believe medical problem requires medical solutions, so go to hospital, seek a medical advice and get solution for her.

Don't let Nigerian marriage fool you, like i will always say, instead of Marrying a broke Nigerian girl,, marry a 70yr old oyinbo woman we get money,, at least eating frog wey get egg no be bad thing.

beekind:
I love her but I want my own children, I have seen the kind of stress my elder brother has been through cos of trying for a child, I won't wish it on my enemy.
Besides, I dont want the only 2 children in the family struggling to have children.

. You are allowing sentiments and emotions to becloud your reasoning.

You know what you want and you should pursue it. Since you won't be happy with that state of things, why allow yourself to go into something you would start regretting tomorrow?
If fertility is of utmost importance to you, then stick to it so that you don't marry and start regretting tomorrow and maybe cheating and resentment will set in when you start blaming her.
Stop the relationship and go after what satisfies you.
I'm telling you out of experience.

CoronaVirusPro:
You can always adopt if truly you love her

instead of adopting.. i would rather impregnate another lady...bibi ni won bimi!

beekind:
I love her but I want my own children, I have seen the kind of stress my elder brother has been through cos of trying for a child, I won't wish it on my enemy.
Besides, I dont want the only 2 children in the family struggling to have children.

bro go and impregnate another woman!...she might end up having kids

You are not in your late 30s, cos this issue you brought is teenagers reasoning.

Why would you get married to a woman that is not pregnant for you? Are you stupid or something?

A virgin at 27 sounds like someone you should escape from. Celibacy is not a goal, it is willful intention to stay ignorant of sex. I can not talk to such people

beekind:
I am the 2nd born out of 2 children, my elder brother has been married for some time with no kids as a result I am super careful with issues relating to fertility.
I am in my late 30s and have been dating a 27 year old lady for 4 months now, the relationship moved so fast as she is a perfect match for me .
I have met her family and she has met mine, we are already planning marriage and have started counselling sessions in her church.

She complained of irregular periods so I told her to do a hormonal profile test and see a gynecologist, turns out she has got PCOS.

I have done my own fertility test and I am fine, I am at a cross road now, I cannot afford to struggle with child birth considering my age and also my only other sibling still also having issues with the wife also still trying to get pregnant after many years.

The only other option would have been to ask her to try for pregnancy before marriage but she is a virgin and wants to keep it that way till wedding, besides if I disvirgin her, how will I be able to walk away incase she doesn't get pregnant ?

I am at crossroads now, its not too late but walking away at this point will be very costly for me since we have already started plans towards the wedding and our families are already in touch.

My heart is heavy and I am confused, I need good advise as I cannot discuss this with anyone.

Are you marrying for love and companionship or are you marrying to have children? If it is for children then you really don’t need to be married to have children. Marriage is really about companionship , if you are not ready for that with her please stop wasting her time any further.

Kobojunkie:
What is so confusing about the fact that your priority is fertility and not love. Nothing wrong with having such a priority. It becomes a problem of wickedness however when you try to get others to bend your way without a guarantee from you.

According to you, she is a virgin but you already perceive that she may have trouble producing children due to health issues she has been having. Why not take that as a red flag and leave her to go find yourself a woman who is fully fertile? Why are you considering taking away her virginity to test what you already doubt knowing fully well you will not commit to her if it turns out you were right all along?

See her free abeg so she can go find herself a man who loves her and has her as his priority abeg!

Is this a reverse psychology or what? It sure does look like it. It can't work on Op