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I Love Her But At Almost 40 Years Old, I Cannot Ignore Her Fertility Issues. - Family (4) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / I Love Her But At Almost 40 Years Old, I Cannot Ignore Her Fertility Issues. (35331 Views)

40 Years Old, No Job, No Skill And Only Had SSCE / How Do I Get My Wife And Kid Back? I Really Love Her So Much / At 23 Years Old, I Have No Idea What I Am Doing With My Life (2) (3) (4)

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Re: I Love Her But At Almost 40 Years Old, I Cannot Ignore Her Fertility Issues. by ValarDoharis: 2:51pm On Nov 28, 2023
Stick wey person see nor dey blind am. He should get her pregnant before marriage or bounce
Lorazepam:
Because she has PCOS doesn't mean she won't be able to conceive. It just may be more difficult. PCOS is one of the most treatable causes of infertility. Most women with PCOS will eventually be able to carry and complete a pregnancy although some will need some medical help ranging from interventions like weight loss, ovulation induction meds, other meds, etc. It's good you already have a diagnosis now, that way, you're able to start working on it as soon as you marry, that's if you decide to proceed with the wedding. She's still in her 20s so age is on your side. I suggest you read up more about it to make an informed decision. At the end of the day sha, na your choice.
Re: I Love Her But At Almost 40 Years Old, I Cannot Ignore Her Fertility Issues. by sonofthunder: 2:52pm On Nov 28, 2023
beekind:
I am the 2nd born out of 2 children, my elder brother has been married for some time with no kids as a result I am super careful with issues relating to fertility.
I am in my late 30s and have been dating a 27 year old lady for 4 months now, the relationship moved so fast as she is a perfect match for me .
I have met her family and she has met mine, we are already planning marriage and have started counselling sessions in her church.

She complained of irregular periods so I told her to do a hormonal profile test and see a gynecologist, turns out she has got PCOS.

I have done my own fertility test and I am fine, I am at a cross road now, I cannot afford to struggle with child birth considering my age and also my only other sibling still also having issues with the wife also still trying to get pregnant after many years.

The only other option would have been to ask her to try for pregnancy before marriage but she is a virgin and wants to keep it that way till wedding, besides if I disvirgin her, how will I be able to walk away incase she doesn't get pregnant ?

I am at crossroads now, its not too late but walking away at this point will be very costly for me since we have already started plans towards the wedding and our families are already in touch.

My heart is heavy and I am confused, I need good advise as I cannot discuss this with anyone.


What did the doctor counsel you guys?

I thought they had treatments she could start up immediately. No go marry woman without PCOS wey done damage her womb oh.

Some women even arrange with doctors to share fake results.
Re: I Love Her But At Almost 40 Years Old, I Cannot Ignore Her Fertility Issues. by Tynaclem1: 2:52pm On Nov 28, 2023
Don't go and marry her now and start having regrets...you are even almost 40... frustration at this age hits differently. Your relationship is still young, find a way to talk to her and move on. I feel for the girl especially being a virgin at 27 and having this kind of medical issue it's painful but such is life. It's better to let her go now because if you both think you are frustrated now wait till u get married and children don't come.

2 Likes

Re: I Love Her But At Almost 40 Years Old, I Cannot Ignore Her Fertility Issues. by maasoap(m): 2:52pm On Nov 28, 2023
beekind:

I love her but I want my own children, I have seen the kind of stress my elder brother has been through cos of trying for a child, I won't wish it on my enemy.
Besides, I dont want the only 2 children in the family struggling to have children.

Walk away. Let another man who won't care about going for tests before marriage carry the burden.
And your brother, how long has it been and how long much more is he going to wait?
Re: I Love Her But At Almost 40 Years Old, I Cannot Ignore Her Fertility Issues. by BigIyanga: 2:53pm On Nov 28, 2023
CoronaVirusPro:
You can always adopt if truly you love her
Story… marriage is not a selfless endeavor propelled by love. Kids are super-important to OP and it cannot be satisfied with love
Love aint enough

1 Like

Re: I Love Her But At Almost 40 Years Old, I Cannot Ignore Her Fertility Issues. by Kobojunkie: 2:53pm On Nov 28, 2023
Babangidapikin:
The ball is in your court ...
It funny when people say I love you when they mean I like you ...
Lol.... grin
Naija know anything about love?. undecided

1 Like

Re: I Love Her But At Almost 40 Years Old, I Cannot Ignore Her Fertility Issues. by IamHonourable1: 2:55pm On Nov 28, 2023
Please what's the name of the particular test if I intend going for fertility test?
Re: I Love Her But At Almost 40 Years Old, I Cannot Ignore Her Fertility Issues. by dkidd: 2:56pm On Nov 28, 2023
beekind:

What do you mean ?
It means someone has already mortgaged ur family continued existence to the dark lord. So no hope. Ur lineage dies with u since ur only other sibling is faced with similar problem. But u be goat ooh u dey see redemption way u dey claim say e go hard u to help urself. I pity u.. in fact no pity. Live ya life undecided

Disvirgin her and get her pregnant or run far away. People born u e reach ur turn u dey mumu urself. If those before u were as weak as u are u would not be here to start with
Re: I Love Her But At Almost 40 Years Old, I Cannot Ignore Her Fertility Issues. by FireUpNow(m): 2:57pm On Nov 28, 2023
The irregular periods is a big issue and age too. Older women of 35 -40 are at risk of giving birth through Virgina instead it's CS. Do you know how much CS cost now? Well live your your life the way that suits you. Your other siblings example is enough for you also women tell lies a lot about their actual age. Are you sure she is the age she claim to be?

1 Like

Re: I Love Her But At Almost 40 Years Old, I Cannot Ignore Her Fertility Issues. by correctguy101(m): 2:57pm On Nov 28, 2023
TheBillyonaire:
You are not in your late 30s, cos this issue you brought is teenagers reasoning.

Why would you get married to a woman that is not pregnant for you? Are you stupid or something?

A virgin at 27 sounds like someone you should escape from. Celibacy is not a goal, it is willful intention to stay ignorant of sex. I can not talk to such people

grin
Re: I Love Her But At Almost 40 Years Old, I Cannot Ignore Her Fertility Issues. by dkidd: 2:59pm On Nov 28, 2023
beekind:

Walking away is not always as easy as you make it seem, especially when the whole family is already involved in planning for the marriage.
Chai... Who dey bring up all these weak mofos ffs 🤦‍♂️🙆🏽‍♂️
Re: I Love Her But At Almost 40 Years Old, I Cannot Ignore Her Fertility Issues. by linearity: 2:59pm On Nov 28, 2023
beekind:

I love her but I want my own children, I have seen the kind of stress my elder brother has been through cos of trying for a child, I won't wish it on my enemy.
Besides, I dont want the only 2 children in the family struggling to have children.

You are having a double mindset and it is not advisable you go into marriage with it.

Trust me, since that test result and meeting with the gynecologist, she is also having the same thoughts like you, it is very important that both of you seat down and discuss this common issue.

Explain where you are coming from to her and also listen to where she is coming from, if you love her and she love you, both of you would have to compromise some.

PCOS is not a death nail, she can still get kids but the longer both of you delay, the more difficult it becomes.

Ask her to drop her insistence on no-sex before marriage, let both of you try for a kid, I will even advise that, though it is very expensive, you guys should go for IVF where selected ovaries would be harvested and fertilizer and then implanted into her.

I think that would be a reasonable compromise from her if she truly loves you moreso you guys have gone far with the marriage plans. In fact you can even do IVF without having sexual intercourse with her, your sperm would be extracted just like her ovaries and fertilization will be done outside.

1 Like

Re: I Love Her But At Almost 40 Years Old, I Cannot Ignore Her Fertility Issues. by macphilip: 3:01pm On Nov 28, 2023
how are you very CERTAIN she is a virgin?
Re: I Love Her But At Almost 40 Years Old, I Cannot Ignore Her Fertility Issues. by AbuTwins: 3:02pm On Nov 28, 2023
Since you are fertile just go and do traditional marriage only! No court wedding!

Then she starts medications and therapy!

And if it doesn't work you marry a second wife after like some years!

1 Like

Re: I Love Her But At Almost 40 Years Old, I Cannot Ignore Her Fertility Issues. by Saintinoo(m): 3:11pm On Nov 28, 2023
beekind:
I am the 2nd born out of 2 children, my elder brother has been married for some time with no kids as a result I am super careful with issues relating to fertility.
I am in my late 30s and have been dating a 27 year old lady for 4 months now, the relationship moved so fast as she is a perfect match for me .
I have met her family and she has met mine, we are already planning marriage and have started counselling sessions in her church.

Op, this your 27 year old virgin girl. Does she reside in Ogun state? Sounds like someone I know.

She complained of irregular periods so I told her to do a hormonal profile test and see a gynecologist, turns out she has got PCOS.

I have done my own fertility test and I am fine, I am at a cross road now, I cannot afford to struggle with child birth considering my age and also my only other sibling still also having issues with the wife also still trying to get pregnant after many years.

The only other option would have been to ask her to try for pregnancy before marriage but she is a virgin and wants to keep it that way till wedding, besides if I disvirgin her, how will I be able to walk away incase she doesn't get pregnant ?

I am at crossroads now, its not too late but walking away at this point will be very costly for me since we have already started plans towards the wedding and our families are already in touch.

My heart is heavy and I am confused, I need good advise as I cannot discuss this with anyone.

Re: I Love Her But At Almost 40 Years Old, I Cannot Ignore Her Fertility Issues. by abbasajao(m): 3:12pm On Nov 28, 2023
Do not married out of pity

1 Like

Re: I Love Her But At Almost 40 Years Old, I Cannot Ignore Her Fertility Issues. by IamHonourable1: 3:15pm On Nov 28, 2023
Oga run for your life, because she would definitely do the same if the tables were turned

1 Like

Re: I Love Her But At Almost 40 Years Old, I Cannot Ignore Her Fertility Issues. by Zooposki(f): 3:15pm On Nov 28, 2023
Adanambra1:



Firstly you need to give you life to Jesus Christ. and surrender totally... before you can partner with the holyspirit. He will be your best adviser and teacher. what i perceived in my spirit is if you want your case to be different, if you dont want your family propensity with child bearing not to come close to you.. you need to act differently... leave this your human calculation. prayerfully walk out of that circle... with the way you are going about this your marriage calculation. you want to repeat the chain reaction'

Re: I Love Her But At Almost 40 Years Old, I Cannot Ignore Her Fertility Issues. by IamHonourable1: 3:17pm On Nov 28, 2023
[quote author=Lovemeharder post=127201274]There's nothing God cannot do, you both should believe that God will do his miracle.

You should stop deceiving people, how many have been cured in your worship center?
Re: I Love Her But At Almost 40 Years Old, I Cannot Ignore Her Fertility Issues. by jaxxy(m): 3:19pm On Nov 28, 2023
beekind:

I love her but I want my own children, I have seen the kind of stress my elder brother has been through cos of trying for a child, I won't wish it on my enemy.
Besides, I dont want the only 2 children in the family struggling to have children.

has ur older brother gone for proper medical checks and advice? Knowledge is profitable to direct.

u also get sound medical advice there are many cheap remedies to fertility issues.
Re: I Love Her But At Almost 40 Years Old, I Cannot Ignore Her Fertility Issues. by RALPHOW(m): 3:19pm On Nov 28, 2023
God gives children and nothing else.
Two of you may be absolutely fine and still not have children.
Pray and God will direct you.

1 Like

Re: I Love Her But At Almost 40 Years Old, I Cannot Ignore Her Fertility Issues. by Jeyun: 3:20pm On Nov 28, 2023
beekind:
I am the 2nd born out of 2 children, my elder brother has been married for some time with no kids as a result I am super careful with issues relating to fertility.
I am in my late 30s and have been dating a 27 year old lady for 4 months now, the relationship moved so fast as she is a perfect match for me .
I have met her family and she has met mine, we are already planning marriage and have started counselling sessions in her church.

She complained of irregular periods so I told her to do a hormonal profile test and see a gynecologist, turns out she has got PCOS.

I have done my own fertility test and I am fine, I am at a cross road now, I cannot afford to struggle with child birth considering my age and also my only other sibling still also having issues with the wife also still trying to get pregnant after many years.

The only other option would have been to ask her to try for pregnancy before marriage but she is a virgin and wants to keep it that way till wedding, besides if I disvirgin her, how will I be able to walk away incase she doesn't get pregnant ?

I am at crossroads now, its not too late but walking away at this point will be very costly for me since we have already started plans towards the wedding and our families are already in touch.

My heart is heavy and I am confused, I need good advise as I cannot discuss this with anyone.

ooh I can see your own reasons for marriage is manufacturing babies not for love companionship. Africa must really be your mother earth!!! Africa ladies are really trying for their men. They have been reduce to nothing but baby making machine. Marriage is not for the faint hearted but for the strong, u must not test her before u marry her go and ask those selling sealed food and those who received gift and present that were sealed, whatever they see inside when it is open they take. My friend go and marry your wife.
Re: I Love Her But At Almost 40 Years Old, I Cannot Ignore Her Fertility Issues. by GboyegaD(m): 3:20pm On Nov 28, 2023
PCOS can be resolved. It is a case of hormonal imbalance. You could support her to see a good gynecologist. You could also advice her to read the "trying to conceive" thread on nairaland.
Re: I Love Her But At Almost 40 Years Old, I Cannot Ignore Her Fertility Issues. by Banhammy717: 3:22pm On Nov 28, 2023
There's nothing wrong with her.
So far she's a virgin, forget about that irregular periods.
Everything will normalize.
Don't worry yourself.
Count yourself lucky to have a virgin as wife, in this corrupt stinking society.
Congratulations Bro.
Happy Married life in advance
Re: I Love Her But At Almost 40 Years Old, I Cannot Ignore Her Fertility Issues. by Ligxy(f): 3:23pm On Nov 28, 2023
Kobojunkie:
What a bloody heartless suggestion. Would you equally allow your own daughter or even sister to be used as a test dummy for fertility in such a way? undecided

Would you allow your own daughter to be tested in such a way knowing the chances are equally there that the man would simply walk away and leave her with nothing after it all? undecided

Sit her down my arse! Op should leave the relationship, not use the girl to wash his dick's fixation on her virginity before he then abandons her. undecided
Very heartless advice. People can dish out what they can't take sha.

2 Likes

Re: I Love Her But At Almost 40 Years Old, I Cannot Ignore Her Fertility Issues. by cocolacec(m): 3:24pm On Nov 28, 2023
beekind:
I am the 2nd born out of 2 children, my elder brother has been married for some time with no kids as a result I am super careful with issues relating to fertility.
I am in my late 30s and have been dating a 27 year old lady for 4 months now, the relationship moved so fast as she is a perfect match for me .
I have met her family and she has met mine, we are already planning marriage and have started counselling sessions in her church.

She complained of irregular periods so I told her to do a hormonal profile test and see a gynecologist, turns out she has got PCOS.

I have done my own fertility test and I am fine, I am at a cross road now, I cannot afford to struggle with child birth considering my age and also my only other sibling still also having issues with the wife also still trying to get pregnant after many years.

The only other option would have been to ask her to try for pregnancy before marriage but she is a virgin and wants to keep it that way till wedding, besides if I disvirgin her, how will I be able to walk away incase she doesn't get pregnant ?

I am at crossroads now, its not too late but walking away at this point will be very costly for me since we have already started plans towards the wedding and our families are already in touch.

My heart is heavy and I am confused, I need good advise as I cannot discuss this with anyone.

Start fertility treatment as soon you get married.PCOS doesnt mean she cqn get pregnant make your research online.
Re: I Love Her But At Almost 40 Years Old, I Cannot Ignore Her Fertility Issues. by Ligxy(f): 3:25pm On Nov 28, 2023
humilitypays:
Life is brutal my brother and only those with strong will gets to the top and live a fulfilled life here on earth, sadly.


And that was why I said he should sit her down and give her two options that they have to choose from. She is not a minor, she is an adult and ought to know what's best for her. If peradventure she doesnt know what's good for her, then that's her cross to carry, she should be ready to manage whatever life throws at her and hope she survives it.


Remember again, life is brutal, only the brave, the strong willed, the smart and those with excellent untampered destiny end up at the top of the ladder of life, others just manage whatever life throw at them, so the choice is yours and mine to make



You're really heartless. Op should leave the innocent girl alone. Whether virginity is a big deal or not, it's for individuals to decide.
Re: I Love Her But At Almost 40 Years Old, I Cannot Ignore Her Fertility Issues. by Chris2863(m): 3:25pm On Nov 28, 2023
FromZeroToHero:
Can I still get pregnant with PCOS?

Having PCOS does not mean you can't get pregnant. PCOS is one of the most common, but treatable, causes of infertility in women. In women with PCOS, the hormonal imbalance interferes with the growth and release of eggs from the ovaries (ovulation).

copied from google
Re: I Love Her But At Almost 40 Years Old, I Cannot Ignore Her Fertility Issues. by jubrilELsudan: 3:25pm On Nov 28, 2023
SHE IS A VIRGIN

I NO FIT LAFF

BACK IN DA DAY NA ALUM NA HIM 9JA GIRLS AND WOMEN DEY USE TIGHTEN DIA KUKUNASE

1 Like

Re: I Love Her But At Almost 40 Years Old, I Cannot Ignore Her Fertility Issues. by Nweike1: 3:26pm On Nov 28, 2023
beekind:
I am the 2nd born out of 2 children, my elder brother has been married for some time with no kids as a result I am super careful with issues relating to fertility.
I am in my late 30s and have been dating a 27 year old lady for 4 months now, the relationship moved so fast as she is a perfect match for me .
I have met her family and she has met mine, we are already planning marriage and have started counselling sessions in her church.

She complained of irregular periods so I told her to do a hormonal profile test and see a gynecologist, turns out she has got PCOS.

I have done my own fertility test and I am fine, I am at a cross road now, I cannot afford to struggle with child birth considering my age and also my only other sibling still also having issues with the wife also still trying to get pregnant after many years.

The only other option would have been to ask her to try for pregnancy before marriage but she is a virgin and wants to keep it that way till wedding, besides if I disvirgin her, how will I be able to walk away incase she doesn't get pregnant ?

I am at crossroads now, its not too late but walking away at this point will be very costly for me since we have already started plans towards the wedding and our families are already in touch.

My heart is heavy and I am confused, I need good advise as I cannot discuss this with anyone.

I’m a gynaecologist, so I can give some advice. If you are sure she’s the one for u, go ahead. PCOS isn’t too hard to manage, let her watch her weight. Little weight loss if she is overweight or obese, can ensure regular ovulation and therefore regular menstrual cycles. Also healthier pregnancies and reverses the hormonal issues. Use of metformin and Pregnacare conception for months before trying to conceive can help with egg quality.

2 Likes

Re: I Love Her But At Almost 40 Years Old, I Cannot Ignore Her Fertility Issues. by Jamie1000: 3:26pm On Nov 28, 2023
A 27 year old lady is still within the fertile range. Even 30s, 31 still give birth to healthy children. But, the aspect of being a virgin untill u marry her, omo. Them dey run guys street now.
Re: I Love Her But At Almost 40 Years Old, I Cannot Ignore Her Fertility Issues. by Kobojunkie: 3:26pm On Nov 28, 2023
FireUpNow:
The irregular periods is a big issue and age too. Older women of 35 -40 are at risk of giving birth through Virgina instead it's CS. Do you know how much CS cost now? Well live your your life the way that suits you. Your other siblings example is enough for you also women tell lies a lot about their actual age. Are you sure she is the age she claim to be?
So all the young women, even 18-year-olds wey dey give birth via CS you no see. Na only older women you dey see use CS give birth? Ignorance na choice for this life, no suppose be birthright. undecided

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