Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 3,151,891 members, 7,814,013 topics. Date: Wednesday, 01 May 2024 at 12:58 AM

I Love Her But At Almost 40 Years Old, I Cannot Ignore Her Fertility Issues. - Family (6) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / I Love Her But At Almost 40 Years Old, I Cannot Ignore Her Fertility Issues. (35273 Views)

40 Years Old, No Job, No Skill And Only Had SSCE / How Do I Get My Wife And Kid Back? I Really Love Her So Much / At 23 Years Old, I Have No Idea What I Am Doing With My Life (2) (3) (4)

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) ... (12) (Reply) (Go Down)

Re: I Love Her But At Almost 40 Years Old, I Cannot Ignore Her Fertility Issues. by LeeSmart: 4:09pm On Nov 28, 2023
Kobojunkie:
All those one's wey full una churches, your god done finish giving them miracles even after so many years?
Junkie my guy, i hail oo
Re: I Love Her But At Almost 40 Years Old, I Cannot Ignore Her Fertility Issues. by Rechargeam247(f): 4:09pm On Nov 28, 2023
The level of ignorance on this thread is baffling. A virgin lady can have infertility issues, PCos, Fibroids and the likes.
Re: I Love Her But At Almost 40 Years Old, I Cannot Ignore Her Fertility Issues. by xtervaganza(m): 4:09pm On Nov 28, 2023
Na virgin wey Israel marry put am for problem oo



No forget lol
Re: I Love Her But At Almost 40 Years Old, I Cannot Ignore Her Fertility Issues. by GreatOchuks: 4:09pm On Nov 28, 2023
AbuTwins:
Since you are fertile just go and do traditional marriage only! No court wedding!

Then she starts medications and therapy!

And if it doesn't work you marry a second wife after like some years!
You must be a thief , you just stole this piece of advice from my mind before I had to drop it here...

1 Like

Re: I Love Her But At Almost 40 Years Old, I Cannot Ignore Her Fertility Issues. by Kukutenla: 4:12pm On Nov 28, 2023
beekind:
I am the 2nd born out of 2 children, my elder brother has been married for some time with no kids as a result I am super careful with issues relating to fertility.
I am in my late 30s and have been dating a 27 year old lady for 4 months now, the relationship moved so fast as she is a perfect match for me .
I have met her family and she has met mine, we are already planning marriage and have started counselling sessions in her church.

She complained of irregular periods so I told her to do a hormonal profile test and see a gynecologist, turns out she has got PCOS.

I have done my own fertility test and I am fine, I am at a cross road now, I cannot afford to struggle with child birth considering my age and also my only other sibling still also having issues with the wife also still trying to get pregnant after many years.

The only other option would have been to ask her to try for pregnancy before marriage but she is a virgin and wants to keep it that way till wedding, besides if I disvirgin her, how will I be able to walk away incase she doesn't get pregnant ?

I am at crossroads now, its not too late but walking away at this point will be very costly for me since we have already started plans towards the wedding and our families are already in touch.

My heart is heavy and I am confused, I need good advise as I cannot discuss this with anyone.

This your story touch me sha.
But (if true and not just cruise), are you really sure she's a virgin?
You need to be careful and sure of who and what you're dating because PCOS does not just spring up out of the blue.
Part of the causative factors of PCOS are use of contraceptives and abortion.
Another one is poor hygiene and diet especially obesity and diabetes so if any of this is the cause then that means you have specific work to do on her before you marry her.
That said, at 27, PCOS is easier for her to manage.
There are so many curative drugs to help with conception and worst case, IVF.
But above all, be sure she's truly a virgin as PCOS in virgins is rare and might be a pointer to some emotionally destructive childhood/teenage years.
The bottom line is you need to find out more about your girlfriend.
Don't just swallow everything she has told you. Good luck
Re: I Love Her But At Almost 40 Years Old, I Cannot Ignore Her Fertility Issues. by tunapawizzy: 4:13pm On Nov 28, 2023
Lovemeharder:
There's nothing God cannot do, you both should believe that God will do his miracle.
and what happens if that miracle doesn't happen. both of them are going to be miserable. He should respectfully and nicely let the babe go her way. She can still get a man that will be open to adoption if she cant have a child of her own. They both deserve happiness but as it is, if the worst happens, both of them will be miserable, she will be dealing with childlessness, and a husband that is not going to stand by her. the man too will also be unhappy and u wont blame him if he decides to go outside to test his ability to have a child.

1 Like

Re: I Love Her But At Almost 40 Years Old, I Cannot Ignore Her Fertility Issues. by Jamie1000: 4:13pm On Nov 28, 2023
Life is a risk. a 27 year old lady is very much fertile for child birth. Take the risk bro. If she's truly a virgin, she deserves a good man. Because, if you loose her, nah shege and wereh u go meet for street
Re: I Love Her But At Almost 40 Years Old, I Cannot Ignore Her Fertility Issues. by BigDawsNet: 4:14pm On Nov 28, 2023
beekind:
I am the 2nd born out of 2 children, my elder brother has been married for some time with no kids as a result I am super careful with issues relating to fertility.
I am in my late 30s and have been dating a 27 year old lady for 4 months now, the relationship moved so fast as she is a perfect match for me .
I have met her family and she has met mine, we are already planning marriage and have started counselling sessions in her church.

She complained of irregular periods so I told her to do a hormonal profile test and see a gynecologist, turns out she has got PCOS.

I have done my own fertility test and I am fine, I am at a cross road now, I cannot afford to struggle with child birth considering my age and also my only other sibling still also having issues with the wife also still trying to get pregnant after many years.

The only other option would have been to ask her to try for pregnancy before marriage but she is a virgin and wants to keep it that way till wedding, besides if I disvirgin her, how will I be able to walk away incase she doesn't get pregnant ?

I am at crossroads now, its not too late but walking away at this point will be very costly for me since we have already started plans towards the wedding and our families are already in touch.

My heart is heavy and I am confused, I need good advise as I cannot discuss this with anyone.


It's a 50/50 for you now...
She's a virgin and you cant have sex with her to confirm if she's fertile now..

So I guess you should let her go in peace... if u know u can't risk it...

Pls don't take away her virginity... that's her pride pls
Re: I Love Her But At Almost 40 Years Old, I Cannot Ignore Her Fertility Issues. by sundayoluwatimi(m): 4:15pm On Nov 28, 2023
My wife has PCOS. We got to know after we wedded. We have two children now and we don't want to even have a third one.

While I understand your fears, PCOS is not a fertility issue that closes the chance of childbearing.

My wife joined a community of other women who have PCOS and one after the other, they have their children. I don't know of all of them but I kept hearing of childbirth news from that group.

What assurance do you have that a lady who menstruates monthly won't have pregnancy delay?

You cannot tell.

Best bet is to trust God as you follow the path you are on.

We cannot always predict the future accurately just by the information we have today especially when we have little to do to that future while God has a lot to do in it.

If you doubt this comment, you can check my Facebook page (not profile) via "Sunday Anani" to see for yourself.

Wish you the best.

1 Like

Re: I Love Her But At Almost 40 Years Old, I Cannot Ignore Her Fertility Issues. by Kobojunkie: 4:16pm On Nov 28, 2023
Kukutenla:
This your story touch me sha.
But (if true and not just cruise), are you really sure she's a virgin?
You need to be careful and sure of who and what you're dating because PCOS does not just spring up out of the blue.
Part of the causative factors of PCOS are use of contraceptives and abortion.
Another one is poor hygiene and diet especially obesity and diabetes so if any of this is the cause then that means you have specific work to do on her before you marry her.
That said, at 27, PCOS is easier for her to manage.
There are so many curative drugs to help with conception and worst case, IVF.
But above all, be sure she's truly a virgin as PCOS in virgins is rare and might be a pointer to some emotionally destructive childhood/teenage years.
The bottom line is you need to find out more about your girlfriend.
Don't just swallow everything she has told you. Good luck
In his book, The Descent of Man, Charles Darwin wrote : “Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge.” lipsrsealed

3 Likes

Re: I Love Her But At Almost 40 Years Old, I Cannot Ignore Her Fertility Issues. by Kukutenla: 4:16pm On Nov 28, 2023
Kobojunkie:
What is so confusing about the fact that your priority is fertility and not love. Nothing wrong with having such a priority. It becomes a problem of wickedness however when you try to get others to bend your way without a guarantee from you. undecided

According to you, she is a virgin but you already perceive that she may have trouble producing children due to health issues she has been having. Why not take that as a red flag and leave her to go find yourself a woman who is fully fertile? Why are you considering taking away her virginity to test what you already doubt knowing fully well you will not commit to her if it turns out you were right all along? undecided

See her free abeg so she can go find herself a man who loves her and has her as his priority abeg! undecided
You sound aggressive. Be calming down
Re: I Love Her But At Almost 40 Years Old, I Cannot Ignore Her Fertility Issues. by Kobojunkie: 4:17pm On Nov 28, 2023
Kukutenla:
You sound aggressive. Be calming down
Says the ignorant one who beats his chest with so much confidence. lipsrsealed
Re: I Love Her But At Almost 40 Years Old, I Cannot Ignore Her Fertility Issues. by Kukutenla: 4:18pm On Nov 28, 2023
Kobojunkie:
In his book, The Descent of Man, Charles Darwin wrote : “Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge.” lipsrsealed
I'm very sure you're the ignorant one here Ma. PCOS does not just happen out of the blue. But the way you're defensive, it might be that the shite smells on you. Just live with it ok? You'll be fine
Re: I Love Her But At Almost 40 Years Old, I Cannot Ignore Her Fertility Issues. by AbuTwins: 4:18pm On Nov 28, 2023
GreatOchuks:

You must be a thief , you just stole this piece of advice from my mind before I had to drop it here...

grin

Na the best option be that o!
Re: I Love Her But At Almost 40 Years Old, I Cannot Ignore Her Fertility Issues. by Kukutenla: 4:19pm On Nov 28, 2023
Kobojunkie:
Says the ignorant one who beats his chest with so
much confidence. lipsrsealed
No Ma. You're the aggresive and ignorant one here. Your comments on the first page belies your mindset.
Re: I Love Her But At Almost 40 Years Old, I Cannot Ignore Her Fertility Issues. by Kobojunkie: 4:19pm On Nov 28, 2023
Kukutenla:

I'm very sure you're the ignorant one here Ma. PCOS does not just happen out of the blue. But the way you're defensive, it might be that the shite smells on you. Just live with it ok? You'll be fine
In his book, The Descent of Man, Charles Darwin wrote : “Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge.” lipsrsealed
Re: I Love Her But At Almost 40 Years Old, I Cannot Ignore Her Fertility Issues. by Procashtips(m): 4:20pm On Nov 28, 2023
beekind:

I love her but I want my own children, I have seen the kind of stress my elder brother has been through cos of trying for a child, I won't wish it on my enemy.
Besides, I dont want the only 2 children in the family struggling to have children.

Why did you not check your health and sexual status before going to meet her people?

Well tough decision must be made.

Either forge ahead or call it quit.
Re: I Love Her But At Almost 40 Years Old, I Cannot Ignore Her Fertility Issues. by GreatOchuks: 4:21pm On Nov 28, 2023
Like my nigga said upstairs.

Go ahead , marry her traditionally , don't marry her Under the Act (Court Wedding) ,, then try impregnating her , if she doesn't conceive after 3 years, start firing on all Cylinders outside,, any lady that conceives for you and gives birth after DNA confirms it's yours of course , you can go ahead and marry her as a 2nd wife or just keep her as a baby mama .

The goal is not to allow your Family Lineage wipe off without a legitimate Biological child to carry on the blood line
Re: I Love Her But At Almost 40 Years Old, I Cannot Ignore Her Fertility Issues. by myk2mic: 4:23pm On Nov 28, 2023
Kobojunkie:
In his book, The Descent of Man, Charles Darwin wrote : “Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge.” lipsrsealed


See knockout punch/quote 😂😂😂

1 Like

Re: I Love Her But At Almost 40 Years Old, I Cannot Ignore Her Fertility Issues. by Kukutenla: 4:23pm On Nov 28, 2023
Kobojunkie:
In his book, The Descent of Man, Charles Darwin wrote : “Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge.” lipsrsealed

Have you read the book? It seems you don't understand it. Reason why you keep quoting it
Re: I Love Her But At Almost 40 Years Old, I Cannot Ignore Her Fertility Issues. by nonhuman(m): 4:24pm On Nov 28, 2023
beekind:
I am the 2nd born out of 2 children, my elder brother has been married for some time with no kids as a result I am super careful with issues relating to fertility.
I am in my late 30s and have been dating a 27 year old lady for 4 months now, the relationship moved so fast as she is a perfect match for me .
I have met her family and she has met mine, we are already planning marriage and have started counselling sessions in her church.

She complained of irregular periods so I told her to do a hormonal profile test and see a gynecologist, turns out she has got PCOS.

I have done my own fertility test and I am fine, I am at a cross road now, I cannot afford to struggle with child birth considering my age and also my only other sibling still also having issues with the wife also still trying to get pregnant after many years.

The only other option would have been to ask her to try for pregnancy before marriage but she is a virgin and wants to keep it that way till wedding, besides if I disvirgin her, how will I be able to walk away incase she doesn't get pregnant ?

I am at crossroads now, its not too late but walking away at this point will be very costly for me since we have already started plans towards the wedding and our families are already in touch.

My heart is heavy and I am confused, I need good advise as I cannot discuss this with anyone.

this is exactly my case o, let me learn from advice you got here,
Re: I Love Her But At Almost 40 Years Old, I Cannot Ignore Her Fertility Issues. by tunapawizzy: 4:24pm On Nov 28, 2023
ademola2017:

Start trying for pregnancy now. Discuss this with her in a diplomatic manner. If pregnancy happens go ahead to marry and[b] if otherwise, just keep trying.[/b]
the boldened is the real problem, the possibility of the boldened is there. So at what what point should he stop trying and what next after that. God forbid, if it happens that way that the child is still not coming, will u say he should keep trying forever, considering the guy sounds like he desires to have a child of his own badly(which is a beautiful thing that no one can blame him for).
Re: I Love Her But At Almost 40 Years Old, I Cannot Ignore Her Fertility Issues. by descarado: 4:25pm On Nov 28, 2023
humilitypays:
Life is brutal my brother and only those with strong will gets to the top and live a fulfilled life here on earth, sadly.


And that was why I said he should sit her down and give her two options that they have to choose from. She is not a minor, she is an adult and ought to know what's best for her. If peradventure she doesnt know what's good for her, then that's her cross to carry, she should be ready to manage whatever life throws at her and hope she survives it.


Remember again, life is brutal, only the brave, the strong willed, the smart and those with excellent untampered destiny end up at the top of the ladder of life, others just manage whatever life throw at them, so the choice is yours and mine to make



Tomorrow if a woman here has an upper hand, do cone and preach life is brutal sermon.
Re: I Love Her But At Almost 40 Years Old, I Cannot Ignore Her Fertility Issues. by Godmind2022(m): 4:25pm On Nov 28, 2023
beekind:
I am the 2nd born out of 2 children, my elder brother has been married for some time with no kids as a result I am super careful with issues relating to fertility.
I am in my late 30s and have been dating a 27 year old lady for 4 months now, the relationship moved so fast as she is a perfect match for me .
I have met her family and she has met mine, we are already planning marriage and have started counselling sessions in her church.

She complained of irregular periods so I told her to do a hormonal profile test and see a gynecologist, turns out she has got PCOS.

I have done my own fertility test and I am fine, I am at a cross road now, I cannot afford to struggle with child birth considering my age and also my only other sibling still also having issues with the wife also still trying to get pregnant after many years.

The only other option would have been to ask her to try for pregnancy before marriage but she is a virgin and wants to keep it that way till wedding, besides if I disvirgin her, how will I be able to walk away incase she doesn't get pregnant ?

I am at crossroads now, its not too late but walking away at this point will be very costly for me since we have already started plans towards the wedding and our families are already in touch.

My heart is heavy and I am confused, I need good advise as I cannot discuss this with anyone.





Don't marry her if you REALLY WANT YOUR OWN BIOLOGICAL CHILDREN.
Re: I Love Her But At Almost 40 Years Old, I Cannot Ignore Her Fertility Issues. by MissJoy29(f): 4:27pm On Nov 28, 2023
The irony of it all will be if you eventually leave her & you both marry other people only for her to give birth & your wife won't.
So the question is, "how are you sure the next person will conceive?

It's really an odd world where strange things are happening. Marry her if you love her enough. You might be pleasantly surprised.
Re: I Love Her But At Almost 40 Years Old, I Cannot Ignore Her Fertility Issues. by descarado: 4:27pm On Nov 28, 2023
Beremx:
That lady is not a virgin. If she got PCOS, it can be treated. If you don't trust her fertility, leave her and get someone else pregnant and marry the person.

Period
You mean a 27yrs old lady can't be a virgin, berem?
Re: I Love Her But At Almost 40 Years Old, I Cannot Ignore Her Fertility Issues. by Focusmind: 4:27pm On Nov 28, 2023
Don't be bamboozled into anything. If your mind is doubtful about her fertility, considering also the issue your senior brother is passing through, you have the right to abort mission. Your interest is more on having your own kids, which is in order. If that's your priority, don't compromise on it and don't entertain any doubt about the fertility of your would be partner. It would be so discomforting for two brothers to be on the " yet to give birth " list after wedding.

1 Like

Re: I Love Her But At Almost 40 Years Old, I Cannot Ignore Her Fertility Issues. by tunapawizzy: 4:29pm On Nov 28, 2023
beekind:

I am not saying I want to do that, I am just saying it's not an option.
You are not considering all the other variables I stated up there, do you consider the kind of pain my parents will go through if their only other child falls into this pit of infertility again ?
Try and understand the variables surrounding this and I am sure you won't be this judgemental.
the stakes are high for you on multiple fronts, just leave. you both have time to heal, she's just 27, she can still get someone, dont manipulate her into losing her virginity if u know u will leave if she doesnt get pregnant. If your desire to have a child of your opinion is bigger than anything else in this matter, then that is what will make u happy and you should go for it. So set the babe free

2 Likes

Re: I Love Her But At Almost 40 Years Old, I Cannot Ignore Her Fertility Issues. by TheRealestGuy(m): 4:29pm On Nov 28, 2023
beekind:
I am the 2nd born out of 2 children, my elder brother has been married for some time with no kids as a result I am super careful with issues relating to fertility.
I am in my late 30s and have been dating a 27 year old lady for 4 months now, the relationship moved so fast as she is a perfect match for me .
I have met her family and she has met mine, we are already planning marriage and have started counselling sessions in her church.

She complained of irregular periods so I told her to do a hormonal profile test and see a gynecologist, turns out she has got PCOS.

I have done my own fertility test and I am fine, I am at a cross road now, I cannot afford to struggle with child birth considering my age and also my only other sibling still also having issues with the wife also still trying to get pregnant after many years.

The only other option would have been to ask her to try for pregnancy before marriage but she is a virgin and wants to keep it that way till wedding, besides if I disvirgin her, how will I be able to walk away incase she doesn't get pregnant ?

I am at crossroads now, its not too late but walking away at this point will be very costly for me since we have already started plans towards the wedding and our families are already in touch.

My heart is heavy and I am confused, I need good advise as I cannot discuss this with anyone.


You're trying to play God grin

Also, even more worrisome is the fact that you're obsessed with having children and this seems to be your sole reason for wanting to get married?

You're letting fear rule your life. Ordinary PCOS is what you're running away from?

Again, you're trying to play God and everyone I know who's tried to do this ends up in bitter regrets.

If she is a good wife, then do not lose her out of fear of the unknown. PCOS is very common and easily treatable with lifestyle changes and healthy living.

I am saying this as someone whose woman was diagnosed with same and we're expecting our first in a few months.

Let go of fear and start living your life to the fullest man.

Cheers.

1 Like

Re: I Love Her But At Almost 40 Years Old, I Cannot Ignore Her Fertility Issues. by Kobojunkie: 4:30pm On Nov 28, 2023
MissJoy29:
The irony of it all will be if you eventually leave her & you both marry other people only for her to give birth & your wife won't. So the question is, "how are you sure the next person will conceive? It's really an odd world where strange things are happening. Marry her if you love her enough. You might be pleasantly surprised.
That is a terrible question to ask. You don't shackle a partner because you fear the next person may not be able to satisfy you. That is not marriage but prison camp. lipsrsealed

1 Like 1 Share

Re: I Love Her But At Almost 40 Years Old, I Cannot Ignore Her Fertility Issues. by descarado: 4:33pm On Nov 28, 2023
TheWinterBird:
Your title (the wording) is misleading because it sounds as though she's the 40-year old when you're the 40-year old. She's only 27 and is therefore the one who should be worried about marrying an old person who will probably have more health issues than her, so if you ask me it's her who should leave you and find someone closer to her age.
Thank you for saying that.

Down syndrome, schizophrenia, adhd, so many of them out there are products of older men
Higher risks of mental illnesses in their kids.

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Love Her But At Almost 40 Years Old, I Cannot Ignore Her Fertility Issues. by ROYALMAXCLEANER: 4:35pm On Nov 28, 2023
beekind:

I love her but I want my own children, I have seen the kind of stress my elder brother has been through cos of trying for a child, I won't wish it on my enemy.
Besides, I dont want the only 2 children in the family struggling to have children.




Then you move on to another lady, leave that lady.... Pls move on, down of a man is not the end of his life.... cool cool

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) ... (12) (Reply)

Beautiful Photos Of 5 Family In Matching Outfits / Mad Woman Gives Birth To Bouncing Baby Girl In Ogun (photo) / This Baby Was Saved From Being Crushed By Cement Bags

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 72
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.