₦airaland Forum

Nataliace:
I'm married for twelve years now and my marriage is blessed with two kids all boys, 11 and 9 respectively. Our marriage was also blessed with peace until I discovered my husband dates girls.

The one that pains me most is dating a neighbor who has been my enemy since we relocated to that settlement. My husband has side chicks too numerous to mention and I tried to talk to him but he refused. I left him and went back to my parents house thinking that will make him change and to come and apologize, to my greatest surprise he didn't make a move of putting things in order.

The worst is that the girl in the neighborhood is now living with him sleeping in our Matrimonial bed doing all the house chores and taking my children to school.

I came back and apologized to my husband but he said it's over between us. I love my husband so much that I can't afford to lose him. What should I have done? I expressed my grief of being hurt but it bounced back negatively.

Please advise me on how to restore my marriage.

Why would you leave your children and go to your parents house?

ikeno:
For 12years you couldn't prevent your husband from chasing anything under skirt.

For 12years you couldn't find out why he's attracted to those girls compare to his wife.

12years later,you decide to punish him by abandoning your children, abandoning him and move in with your parent thinking that will make him change.
Now that one of his side chick is doing far better the duty that you abandon him and the children for,you decide to run back begging for reconciliation. You need to go back and learn marriage 101.

The man should stop sleeping around. She only recently found out about his cheating. He is womanizing full time. It is hard for him to stop

Golan007:
OK, it wasn't you.
Doesn't change the fact the male species is polygamous by nature.

Yeah, of course.
But the wrong thing here is the "cheating" Marry ten if you want. But that cheating is wrong.

CandidAdmin:
Yeah, of course.

But the wrong thing here is the "cheating"
Marry ten if you want.
But that cheating is wrong.

Hmm!

How is cheating avoided when a man is taking a new concubine?

You actually made a big mistake y leaving your matrimonial home even leaving your own biological children.Gaba!. I believe you are wrongly or I'll advised. You didn't really ponder on your decision thoroughly. My dear,and other young married women over there,I want you to know that men don't really care about their wives leaving them again. Some men look at it as an opportunity to reorganize their lives. Anyway, it's really unfortunate. Honestly,I feel there is something you are not saying here. Probably, you are making life miserable for the man and he does not want die by depression.

DestinedForGrea:
This is not true.

Men are not polygamous in nature, stop justifying wrong with what you think is natural.

Wake up from this delusion.

Men are polygamous by nature..
The earlier you accept it and make peace with that the better..
You can keep on quoting some holy book in delusion,if you like..

Nataliace:
...I love my husband so much that I can't afford to lose him. What should I have done? I expressed my grief of being hurt but it bounced back negatively.

Please advise me on how to restore my marriage.

I don't think you truly love your husband and he can see it. I believe coming back to your hubby was actually driven by necessity and not love, you came back bcoz you wondered why he wasn't chasing after you.

Sopé otílo!

BloomingDale:
Fake story by a man to acclimatize women in staying with their cheating husbands. I wonder what woman with healthy self esteem will tolerate all that nonsense. She should go for an STD test and thank her lucky stars if she is clean. Never stay with with a cheat. It is unhealthy. That is no relationship.

Should every woman take your advise, how many women would remained married go n sleep over it
Despite he was cheating there was peace in the marriage until she discovered and use pepper body destroy her home
I guess OP took advice from single friends like you, don't know when married women will have sense, naa that there single friend wey no get boyfriend from morning reach night dem go dey follow for advice, it never ends well.

Nataliace:
I'm married for twelve years now and my marriage is blessed with two kids all boys, 11 and 9 respectively. Our marriage was also blessed with peace until I discovered my husband dates girls.

The one that pains me most is dating a neighbor who has been my enemy since we relocated to that settlement. My husband has side chicks too numerous to mention and I tried to talk to him but he refused. I left him and went back to my parents house thinking that will make him change and to come and apologize, to my greatest surprise he didn't make a move of putting things in order.

The worst is that the girl in the neighborhood is now living with him sleeping in our Matrimonial bed doing all the house chores and taking my children to school.

I came back and apologized to my husband but he said it's over between us. I love my husband so much that I can't afford to lose him. What should I have done? I expressed my grief of being hurt but it bounced back negatively.

Please advise me on how to restore my marriage.

you don't have good adviser , your husband cheat and you pack out yourself thinking he will come and beg you.

BobbieZion:
Dump his sorry ass....

I know you love your children and want the best for them. It's fine,let him know that you are ready to bring down fire if anything happens to your children. Face front and go do what makes you happy.
I have come to the conclusion in my life that I cut of anyone who is willing to make my life a living hell. Don't feel sorry if you are not guilty too.
If you like be my brother, I can make another one who is not from my mother.

NB: I don't believe in the nonsensical saying"Men are polygamous in Nature".
The truth is that many just don't have the balls to hold their d*ck right.

If your papa was cheating on your mama shey you go talk say your papa na polygamous man, abi na adulterous man?

You can believe what you like..
The evidence is there for all to see..
The difference between polygamy and adultery is the society,not biology..

Gadafii:
Director, what is the name of this drama

The Stupid wife featuring: Toto Decay, Iyabo Ojo, Kunle Remi and RMD.

Golan007:
Hmm!
How is cheating avoided when a man is taking a new concubine?

Because marriage comes in.
That's what makes polygamos socially acceptable.
Nobody wants to be called and starts hearing stuffs like I saw mama sikura sleeping with your husband or mama Ngozie.
That cheating destroys moral lifestyle of the society.
That's just it.

CandidAdmin:
Because marriage comes in.

That's what makes polygamos socially acceptable.

Nobody wants to be called and starts hearing stuffs like
I saw mama sikura sleeping with your husband or mama Ngozie.

That cheating destroys moral lifestyle of the society.

That's just it.

You haven't explained how it is performed though.

chidiokay:
Should every woman take your advise, how many women would remained married go n sleep over it
Despite he was cheating there was peace in the marriage until she discovered and use pepper body destroy her home
I guess OP took advice from single friends like you, don't know when married women will have sense, naa that there single friend wey no get boyfriend from morning reach night dem go dey follow for advice, it never ends well.

Imagine getting a disease all in the name of marriage. You are not serious.

.

You should be thankful to God that he hasn't given you STDs or HIV. My advice is to do what May Edochie did, leave him, get support from your family and friends during this trying times, start life anew, become financially independent,you can be closer to God if you like. Just concentrate on your happiness. The truth is you can't change him, he doesn't even respect you enough to even pretend to change plus you won't be happy even if you come back. If you are sexually frustrated after leaving him, use intimacy gadgets. Look for a man that will truly respect you he can be a bit younger or older doesn't matter.

Golan007:
You haven't explained how it is performed though.

I don't think it needs an explanation.

As long as there's a marriage and the wife or family's wife are aware, that alone displaces the word cheating.

The only way cheating can be brought in is if you've promised her to never to marry another one.

So obviously, you aren't supposed to make that promise.

When our fore fathers wanted more, they married another not going about sleeping with women.

This conditions cancelled the word cheating.

And if you still want more, marry more.

I think the reason why men prefer to cheat is so that they can avoid responsibilities.

For your enemy to catch ur husband , u need to work on ur self

Nataliace:
I'm married for twelve years now and my marriage is blessed with two kids all boys, 11 and 9 respectively. Our marriage was also blessed with peace until I discovered my husband dates girls.

The one that pains me most is dating a neighbor who has been my enemy since we relocated to that settlement. My husband has side chicks too numerous to mention and I tried to talk to him but he refused. I left him and went back to my parents house thinking that will make him change and to come and apologize, to my greatest surprise he didn't make a move of putting things in order.

The worst is that the girl in the neighborhood is now living with him sleeping in our Matrimonial bed doing all the house chores and taking my children to school.

I came back and apologized to my husband but he said it's over between us. I love my husband so much that I can't afford to lose him. What should I have done? I expressed my grief of being hurt but it bounced back negatively.

Please advise me on how to restore my marriage.

GET A JOB,LADY.

DarkJeddi:
Men are polygamous by nature..
The earlier you accept it and make peace with that the better..
You can keep on quoting some holy book in delusion,if you like..

I am not polygamous in nature.

I don't know if you adopted that nature from your ancestors, but don't generalize it. No human is polygamous in nature.

If a man cheats, it's due to an inert insatiability present in all humans. It's common to both human species, and not a function of gender.

And as for the 'Holy book', call it a delusion however you like. As far as I know, it is the only manual given by the one who created me. I didn't create myself, so it's foolish to live by my own rules.

If you think you came to this life out of nothing, or some accidental 'big bang', then good luck. As for me, I will not wallow in folly.

Once again, men are not polygamous in nature. What makes men so special that they, and not women have to be polygamous in nature?

DarkJeddi:
You can believe what you like..
The evidence is there for all to see..
The difference between polygamy and adultery is the society,not biology..

Polygamy is a choice, it's not nature.

What evidence are you talking about?

DestinedForGrea:
This is not true.

Men are not polygamous in nature, stop justifying wrong with what you think is natural.

Wake up from this delusion.

Men being polygamist in nature is factual and not lie. It does not meant your are justifying what is wrong. It is a fact.

Some men can control themselves while some can't. Reason best known to them.

When a man decides to free his will and go polygamous, no womon can stop it. He can rather do it legally by marrying another wife or he goes adulterous.

BloomingDale:
Imagine getting a disease all in the name of marriage. You are not serious.

We have a true story before us, the lady in question didnt claim she was infected at any time, leave imagination

People get disease/Infections outside marriage doesnt make it less hurtful & bad ...

Hot soup requires patience, a wise woman builds her home

Golan007:
How can you say men aren't polygamous by nature when men from Abraham to King Solomon - wiser than you, have been polygamous?

Till date, Bill Clinton, Elon Musk, Wizkid, Davido, Boris Johnson, even the butcher at the end of your street have multiple wives, yet you say it isn't so.

Men are fighting nature when they choose to remain monogamous.

Society through Hollywood and the Simping by various men make it look like men who are interested in other women are lascivious or evil.

We must first acknowledge our nature before we can defeat it if we must.

How does Abraham taking another wife prove that polygamy was his nature? Something he simply chose to do?

How do you define nature? If men are polygamous in nature, then every man should die or be deformed for not espousing more than one woman.

Polygamy is not in itself a nature, it's an expression of mankind's insatiability. Insatiability cuts across all areas of life. God's original intention was for A MAN and A WOMAN to come together as one. Not A MAN and WOMEN. How does that even make any sense to you?

Men and women are insatiable. While some can't control that insatiability, others can. It's a matter of choice. If you think polygamy is in your nature, then do as you please. As for me, I am not polygamous in nature. If I cheat, it's my choice, not because I can't help it.

Trustworthiness:
Men being polygamist in nature is factual and not lie. It does not meant your are justifying what is wrong. It is a fact.

Some men can control themselves while some can't. Reason best known to them.

When a man decides to free his will and go polygamous, no womon can stop it. He can rather do it legally by marrying another wife or he goes adulterous.

So why isn't a woman polygamous in nature? Why a man? How can you support this claim? What is nature?

BloomingDale:
Fake story by a man to acclimatize women in staying with their cheating husbands. I wonder what woman with healthy self esteem will tolerate all that nonsense. She should go for an STD test and thank her lucky stars if she is clean. Never stay with with a cheat. It is unhealthy. That is no relationship.

I'VE SEEN WOMEN THAT TOLERATE MUCH WORSE.
IT'S NOT A SELF ESTEEM ISSUE,IT'S A LAZINESS ISSUE.
SHE CAN'T WORK FOR HER SELF SUSTENANCE.
SHE JUST HAS TO LEECH OFF OF SOMEONE ELSE.

chidiokay:
We have a true story before us, the lady in question didnt claim she was infected at any time, leave imagination

People get disease/Infections outside marriage doesnt make it less hurtful & bad ...

Hot soup requires patience, a wise woman builds her home

Good luck to those whom decide to stay. Only a cheating wife or one with low self esteem/financial dependence will stay.

Zonefree:
A wise man should never allow his wife stops him from finding the love of his life.

Na Man dey decide
God dey endorse
Demons dey para.

Lol

Sagefromtheeast:
I'VE SEEN WOMEN THAT TOLERATE MUCH WORSE.
IT'S NOT A SELF ESTEEM ISSUE,IT'S A LAZINESS ISSUE.
SHE CAN'T WORK FOR HER SELF SUSTENANCE.
SHE JUST HAS TO LEECH OFF OF SOMEONE ELSE.

Yeah, no decent woman or one whom loves the husband will stay in such a marriage. They both deserve each other.

Nataliace:
I'm married for twelve years now and my marriage is blessed with two kids all boys, 11 and 9 respectively. Our marriage was also blessed with peace until I discovered my husband dates girls.

The one that pains me most is dating a neighbor who has been my enemy since we relocated to that settlement. My husband has side chicks too numerous to mention and I tried to talk to him but he refused. I left him and went back to my parents house thinking that will make him change and to come and apologize, to my greatest surprise he didn't make a move of putting things in order.

The worst is that the girl in the neighborhood is now living with him sleeping in our Matrimonial bed doing all the house chores and taking my children to school.

I came back and apologized to my husband but he said it's over between us. I love my husband so much that I can't afford to lose him. What should I have done? I expressed my grief of being hurt but it bounced back negatively.

Please advise me on how to restore my marriage.

your stupid...you left ! U were listening to Facebook bitter feminists


Now you are out ....

By and stop begging ...enter the streets

DestinedForGrea:
This is not true.

Men are not polygamous in nature, stop justifying wrong with what you think is natural.

Wake up from this delusion.

Men are polygamous in nature. That's a fact. Study animals and you will know this is true. The difference between a man and an animal is that men are civilised while animals are not. It's civilization and the rule of law that make men stick with one woman

BadBradley:
I don't usually respond to desperate farmers whose future is so bleak they had to publish their private phone numbers on Nairaland for patronage.

When we need third-rate advice on poultry, we will contact you. Thanks

I've taken time to read through some of your posts and comments here on Nairaland. Not only are they lacking in knowledge, they also portray you as a daft herling. Take some time. Read through your comments calling Africans names.

"Black people with bestial impulses and primitive material showoffs.

But they are the poorest and the most destitute of all races.".

That's one of the very many mean things you've posted. It shows how bereft you are in terms of intelligence and knowledge. You have a lot of growing up to do.