majekdom2:
I dont understand .... I said a will because of golddigging family relatives. A will is treated more with respect than a certificate in a court . as i said earlier , the court will consider the customary law first. if you are uncertain about your inlaws .... A will is much better.

well let me explain it to you, if a man who is married to woman under civil law dies without a will, the common law principles of succession automatically falls into place. is if the marriage is in community of property, the wife will receive half of his estate and the children will receive the other half of the father's estate in equal shares. The same applies if the wife dies, the husband receives half of her estate and the other half is distributed amongst the surviving children in equal shares.

If the marriage was out of community of property where an ante-nuptial contract was signed terms of that contract will determine the allocation of the deceased's estate. ( i.e. the ante-nuptial contract becomes the will)

What I'm saying is when u enter a civil marriage, common law principles of succession will still protect the surviving spouse and descendants of the deceased even where a will does not exist. That kind of legal protection is not available in customary marriages. And sometimes a testamentary will can unfairly favour one child over another.

CoCoLav:



Pre-nups are not common in Nigeria. Most men just go to court so as to be done with the marriage process not necessarily because they are interested but that one no consign me.

All this taking over his property that you people are shouting, do you know how many projects both husband and wife do together? wife brings some percentage while husband brings some but at the end of the day, its bought in husband's name and the woman doesn't mind anyway because they are one and she doesn't know of anything that could go wrong.


Then something unforseen happens and the village people come knocking.

stop bein bias
a woman/man who does not have backing for marriage can be affected by some situations, say she/he got thrown out without a dime.
a man/woman without prenups can be affected by some situation, say a man/woman marries someone wealthy just to acquire wealth,makes the marriage unbearable within a year, so as to get a divorce inorder to get 50% of wealth never worked for.

not all prenups renders one partner in a marriage "without cash"
it may include stipulates such as
*if the marriage breaks in less than a year both partners go with what they acquired on their own.
*if the marriage last more than 10 year wealth is shared among both parties in percentage(not necessary 50/50) irrespective of who acquired what.
*on divorce each partner takes what he/she has acquired and share what they both acquired
*...........

what am trying to say is not advice anyone to do prenup, but to say

if you don't trust a man enough or for reasons of unforeseen occurrences decide to get legal backing

then anyone shouldn't be criticsize for reasons of unforeseen occurrences should that person decide to do prenups

israelbenzion:


u are misinforming people. traditional marriage is as solid as the so-called "court marriage" (Marriage under the Act). the only difference is that different laws govern both. for Ur info, conducting Registry immediately nullifies all other forms of marriage earlier conducted, and performing any other form of marriage after registry marriage is an offence punishable by jail time. pls download urself a copy of the Marriage Act and be better informed. do u need judicial authorities to clarify issues for u? send Ur email address and I'll give u some. but I beg u, stick to facts.

Thnx a million!..pls inform d so called "learned" girls!...as for those waiting for big "society" white wedding...una go grow old for there!

Cyberknight:


The same also applies for women who have property to leave. We all seem fixated on the fact that it is the men who are going to die early and leave children for their wives to bring up. What about women who have substantial assets of their own? Are they not afraid of their husband's frittering them away? Also remember that in this part of the world, men have more sexual freedom than women do and as such are more likely to engage in the scenario you mentioned above.

And finally, the main point here is that you are still thinking from an African man's cultural point of view - i.e the children belong to me, they are mine and not those of the woman who I paid for. My brother, women are equally or even more committed to their children.

lol.of course im an african man and i have in fact discovered the ways and words of our fathers concerning marriage are words and ways of wisdom.naturally an older person will die first and the man is the older .i quite agree with u that atimes the rverse is the case and the woman is the richer person which is quite an aberation.once your wife is richer than u and she is not on d same religious level with kadija who was prophet muhammed wife,she ceases to be the wife but the husband and this is the bane of today's marriage.the inability to own your wife and consequently all that she has including money,the marriage must fail where the wif is richer than the hubby and yet not subscribed to religious values.

Mondisweets:
well let me explain it to you, if a man who is married to woman under civil law dies without a will, the common law principles of succession automatically falls into place. is if the marriage is in community of property, the wife will receive half of his estate and the children will receive the other half of the father's estate in equal shares. The same applies if the wife dies, the husband receives half of her estate and the other half is distributed amongst the surviving children in equal shares.

If the marriage was out of community of property where an ante-nuptial contract was signed terms of that contract will determine the allocation of the deceased's estate. ( i.e. the ante-nuptial contract becomes the will)

What I'm saying is when u enter a civil marriage, common law principles of succession will still protect the surviving spouse and descendants of the deceased even where a will does not exist. That kind of legal protection is not available in customary marriages. And sometimes a testamentary will can unfairly favour one child over another.

I agree with you .... but the OP should envisage a will if she meant properties..... this is still better than a civil law marriage certificate . A certificate may not totally protect you , some inlaws could make claims his fortune was drawn from the family and by right they have right to share .... did you read the story of the uk man and his wife where customary laws are being put into considerations even abroad.

So many thing are irregular with some claims here.
When there is an issue with a marriage, you seek redress from the institution that LEGALIZED your union.

You cannot have a traditional marriage only and seek redress in the law court.

Madam, are you sure u pestered ur man for a white or church wedding? If at all you are married. Or are you just trying to mislead innocent ladies?

In Igbo culture, when your marriage commences with traditional rites, a woman does not have a say.
She is a property of the man. She could be transferred to the brothers or her children.
I will encourage ladies to get informed about the PERSONAL LAWS of their would be husbands.

Sweetlemon:


NLers and their comprehension disablities again. What part of getting a legal document do you not understand? I'm not talking about ceremony here. Just a signed document with witnesses. Please how does that require borrowing? Abi na wheel barrow pusher you wan marry ni?

Stop sounding stupid. What has the signed document got to do with the success or failure of the marriage. Is it a form of threat or bondage?

Is it by force to have document as regards marriage? Make your motives known and stop hiding under document.

majekdom2:
I agree with you .... but the OP should envisage a will if she meant properties..... this is still better than a civil law marriage certificate . A certificate may not totally protect you , some inlaws could make claims his fortune was drawn from the family and by right they have right to share .... did you read the story of the uk man and his wife where customary laws are being put into considerations even abroad.

if a man and a woman enter into both a civil and a customary marriage when they divorce customary and civil law will both be taken into account because both civil and the customary marriage existed at the same time, thats logic.

What i am saying is a will is a good idea but sometimes it can also unfairly favour one child over another another, but where a civil marriage exists a particular clause of a will that favours a child over another can be challenged based on common law principles of succession.

For ownership of properties, be careful about the technicalities.
When a man dies without a will and his children are not yet adult or when she had only ladies, sorry to say it, she loses everything.
Mind you am particular about IGBO culture.

You can only gain part of the property if you are included in the title.
Eg

Mr. Chike Okafor - You have zero share.
Mr. Chike & Mrs. Veronica Okafor - You have a fair share.

majekdom2:
I agree with you .... but the OP should envisage a will if she meant properties..... this is still better than a civil law marriage certificate . A certificate may not totally protect you , some inlaws could make claims his fortune was drawn from the family and by right they have right to share .... did you read the story of the uk man and his wife where customary laws are being put into considerations even abroad.

allow them to keep exposing their crass ignorance. They want document so to claim property. Thieves, youll know them. They are fake feminist and in real they worship their husband.

Mondisweets:
if a man and a woman enter into both a civil and a customary marriage when they divorce customary and civil law will both be taken into account because both civil and the customary marriage existed at the same time, thats logic.

What i am saying is a will is a good idea but sometimes it can also unfairly favour one child over another another, but where a civil marriage exists a particular clause of a will that favours a child over another can be challenged based on common law principles of succession.

you appear to me as gold digger and your sole aim of court marriage is just for the property.

majekdom2:
the safer side is securing the life of your kids , there is no safer side with the court marriage because the judgement of a court marriage is made with consideration of the customary law first.

You're subject to your own opinion. If I may ask, what is the source of your authority?

slimmy05:
you appear to me as gold digger and your sole aim of court marriage is just for the property.

please keep your backward and biased way of thinking to yourself, I'm in school to make something of myself, by my own efforts. Unlike the shallow-minded women who surround you, which is evident from your pattern of thought.

Mondisweets:
if a man and a woman enter into both a civil and a customary marriage when they divorce customary and civil law will both be taken into account because both civil and the customary marriage existed at the same time, thats logic.

What i am saying is a will is a good idea but sometimes it can also unfairly favour one child over another another, but where a civil marriage exists a particular clause of a will that favours a child over another can be challenged based on common law principles of succession.

This is where the problem is ... a will is the best option . if the motive of a certificate is to protect the children from golddigging inlaws, there is nothing wrong in writing a will with your partner and allocating his properties evenly. you create more problem for yourself when you avoid a will because golddigging inlaws will also come with claims..... your common law here might not work because of the customary law. in A WILL ... Your partner states it clearly which property is his and which is for the extended family.

All dis talk about fighting for ones right is it dat d women re coming into d marriage with d mentality of been divorced or wat. Anyways property wey woman go fight for shebi na d one wey she sabi nd her name follow for document too abi

Sweetlemon:


NLers and their comprehension disablities again. What part of getting a legal document do you not understand? I'm not talking about ceremony here. Just a signed document with witnesses. Please how does that require borrowing? Abi na wheel barrow pusher you wan marry ni?

you should know by now that this is Nairaland where ordinary common sense is pretty much a superpower only the extraordinary possess your post is clear, you wonder why some people are still keen and focused on misinterpreting it

elvis07:
All dis talk about fighting for ones right is it dat d women re coming into d marriage with d mentality of been divorced or wat. Anyways property wey woman go fight for shebi na d one wey she sabi nd her name follow for document too abi

this is where some of these ladies make mistakes .... thats why you see men acquring properties solely in their name or names of their children these days ... I said a will and a lady here is saying a will is not a very good idea ..... what is not a good idea there when you will be writing it with him ..... ill motives! she takes the properties and then her own family can come share..... while her inlaws are the golddiggers.

You may have all the marriages with all the certificates and still lose in the battle for properties.
Only genuine love and partnership can save both man and woman.

Do you know that a man having his brother or sister as next of kin totally disenfranchises the wife from inheriting his property?

Also, the man can will his estate to whom he likes while the wife will be parading certificates.

majekdom2:
This is where the problem is ... a will is the best option . if the motive of a certificate is to protect the children from golddigging inlaws, there is nothing wrong in writing a will with your partner and allocating his properties evenly. you create more problem for yourself when you avoid a will because golddigging inlaws will also come with claims..... your common law here might not work because of the customary law. in A WILL ... Your partner states it clearly which property is his and which is for the extended family.

i don't know why u keep getting it wrong, im talking about common law principles of succession where the spouses are married according to civil law! These principles, still protect the surviving spouse from greedy extended family members, because they state that upon the death of the spouses only his surviving spouse and descendants will inherit his estate.

A will on the other hand may favour one heir over another depending on the wishes of the deceased and it can create complications. Im not saying a will is a bad thing, all I'm saying is a will still can cause complications, which cannot be rectified by customary law. Whereas common principles of succession where a marriage is entered into according civil law can provide remedies.

Dcholeric:

stop bein bias
a woman/man who does not have backing for marriage can be affected by some situations, say she/he got thrown out without a dime.
a man/woman without prenups can be affected by some situation, say a man/woman marries someone wealthy just to acquire wealth,makes the marriage unbearable within a year, so as to get a divorce inorder to get 50% of wealth never worked for.

not all prenups renders one partner in a marriage "without cash"
it may include stipulates such as
*if the marriage breaks in less than a year both partners go with what they acquired on their own.
*if the marriage last more than 10 year wealth is shared among both parties in percentage(not necessary 50/50) irrespective of who acquired what.
*on divorce each partner takes what he/she has acquired and share what they both acquired
*...........

what am trying to say is not advice anyone to do prenup, but to say

if you don't trust a man enough or for reasons of unforeseen occurrences decide to get legal backing

then anyone shouldn't be criticsize for reasons of unforeseen occurrences should that person decide to do prenups

I don't really understand your write up but there's nowhere in my post I said men/women shouldn't do prenups.

Ladies should go to lawyers who are versed in the issue regarding FAMILY LAWS and get some tutorials.
However, its not all lawyers that are thoroughly informed in this case.

Please, its needful because many of them will meet cases bigger than they expect in the nearest future.

Am particular about IGBO people, especially those who got married in Lagos. The ladies have upper hand if they are smart.
But if your husband is a titled man, wahala dey!

Fourwinds:
dats may give reasons y a lady will misbehave believing in legal backing instead of working humbly to make a home like Jesus Christ who built d church called bride

It’s annoying when some ladies hang the idea, that one useless document is what makes a marriage, on their mental beam and weigh it above every other thing to make the marriage work!
To such ladies, it’s all about security, their personal well-being and nothing else; they care next to nothing about the success of the marriage but the comfort around the man!

Any lady that insists on legal documents to back her marriage should be closely monitored! More than likely she’s materialistic and has her priority on the man’s wealth and a potentially dangerous lady!
Many of such ladies that make legal documents their priority in a marriage don’t see their husbands beyond their (husband) wealth!

What happened to marriage based on love and mutual interest?
If the man doesn’t love you, would the document make him love you or treat you better?
Would your taking him to court make him love you or change his feelings about you?

A lady’s concern in a marriage should be towards building a happy home and not about acquiring some useless documents that have no influence on how a man feels about her!
Give him reasons to love you and make him believe that he made the right choice marrying you!
You don’t need a document to show that you’re a married woman or that he's your husband!

Sweetlemon:


Ah. You will be surprised many learned people are doing it nowadays. I gave the Okoyes as example. As for your own case, you are good to go as long as you ain't living with him yet.

i am a lawyer and im not doing any court wedding with any woman.only traditional marriage so i dont run into trouble when i need extra wives which is most likely in my own case.

josite:


the lady who call it a super story is right.almost everyone got married to someone they were sure its a friend.even in your own super story ,you need to remain prayerful as a stranger might even be delighting your spouse right now on whassap pr skype unknown to u.havent u heard of guys who are sure they have a great marriage and reached hom to find out that the wife has packed to an unknown destination.yes you can say the way it is in your marriage today,what about tomorrow.thas why the bible advise he that standeth to take heed lest he fall .people change,that is my point,for good,bad or no reason,they change and you have to move on or die worrying why they change.all the best

Well, I know what I know, so my 'super story' is mine. I still maintain that every story can never be the same. Yours is yours and mine is mine. I watched the best 'super story'(my parents) of all times play out. Until my father's demise, my parents still went out on dinner dates on valentines and exchange gifts just like when they were much younger. And my father died at 74! From mama's testimonies and as much as I witnessed, my papa never threatened to hit her, not even jokingly, so doing it was totally out of the question. Now that's a 'Super Story' to many but that's my foundation. In my worst behavior, I still cannot hit a lady not to talk of my lady. We are all products of our environments.

CoCoLav:

All this taking over his property that you people are shouting, do you know how manyprojects both husband and wife do together?wife brings some percentage while husband brings some but at the end of the day, its bought in husband's name and the woman doesn't mind anyway because they are one and she doesn't know of anything that could go wrong.

this is part of your post, those men are shouting because they can be victims in a marriage as well and so the need for prenup.
the example of what could affect a man wrongly is in my first post (he could be duped in the name of marriage).
I only added "she" because it could also affect a "woman" wrongly (a woman can also be duped in the name of marriage but it is extremely rare)

Marriage is an issue.
Many wants you to do lost of show but no one cares about your pocket.

Our women are gearing up for the future, we shall soon witness it as it is in the western world.

But our complex society will always see us through.

I love Nigerians. Arguing the same points over and over again, using different words to convey same meaning while on the same side of an argument.

*sips ginger water*
Page 16 please.

well said , majotity of women on here are single and hoping to find that gentle ,Godfearing man while majority of dudes on here are hustling their way up presently without the help of a future spouse .... The single ladies should really go enquire on what it takes to be on a safer side from married women whose marriages are successful...... go for whichever you feel suit your taste

Trend? Didn't notice.

Most of the folks I know still do the white, court and trad wedding.