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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Opinion: Choose Who You Want Between Me And Your Mother- Very Silly Question (37394 Views)
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Re: Opinion: Choose Who You Want Between Me And Your Mother- Very Silly Question by cbrass(m): 12:52pm On Mar 16, 2015 |
coogar: don't mind her |
Re: Opinion: Choose Who You Want Between Me And Your Mother- Very Silly Question by sleemoon(m): 12:53pm On Mar 16, 2015 |
Khabuqi: wtf ! Like seriously? no matter how connected me nd my wife are, my mum ll still be my numero uno priority... |
Re: Opinion: Choose Who You Want Between Me And Your Mother- Very Silly Question by Nobody: 12:54pm On Mar 16, 2015 |
coogar: Hahaha. 1 Like |
Re: Opinion: Choose Who You Want Between Me And Your Mother- Very Silly Question by Nobody: 12:56pm On Mar 16, 2015 |
This is my post on my marital advise thread So I understand fully the situation of a woman who is pushed to ask her husband to choose. Many people speaking her,speak out of ignorance so I excuse you Unless you have been there,you have no clue I also wrote that within a short while of meeting my hubby he told me his mom was a tough person I was soon to find out what that meant. This is my story.ait is hard to summarize 4 months into one post.it was torture. babyosisi: 11 Likes |
Re: Opinion: Choose Who You Want Between Me And Your Mother- Very Silly Question by Laid2001: 12:58pm On Mar 16, 2015 |
Mama or motherhood is an hardwired relationship, and wife is a software relationship.!! A wife should never ask the husband to choose between his mom and her. She has automatically lost the battle. The man never chooses his mum, It was the mum that chose him and Mum is forever. Wife can change via divorce and another person will be bearing or waering the ring shap shap now!! The Mother is always the Mother but wife can become an eX. |
Re: Opinion: Choose Who You Want Between Me And Your Mother- Very Silly Question by cbrass(m): 12:58pm On Mar 16, 2015 |
Flytefalls: that post you have quoted is far from wisdom.... remember you will be a mother in-law too one day |
Re: Opinion: Choose Who You Want Between Me And Your Mother- Very Silly Question by Nobody: 1:00pm On Mar 16, 2015 |
babyosisi:I believe if we undeestand other people wicknesses, and learn how to manage them, we can be able to cope with their bad xters. Moreover some DIL should learn that You can allow your MIL into your house without allowing into your home. |
Re: Opinion: Choose Who You Want Between Me And Your Mother- Very Silly Question by Nobody: 1:06pm On Mar 16, 2015 |
tivta: Most definitely! They'll surely reap what they sowed. Some ladies dont even want their mother in-inlaw alive. They wish she must be dead even before they get married to the man forgetting that same awaits them in the future. |
Re: Opinion: Choose Who You Want Between Me And Your Mother- Very Silly Question by tivta(m): 1:06pm On Mar 16, 2015 |
Khabuqi:. Aunty, then what becomes the woman's first priority? The children? Yes karma is deep but the summary still remains"what ever a man does so shall it befall him times 10". |
Re: Opinion: Choose Who You Want Between Me And Your Mother- Very Silly Question by TreQuartista: 1:08pm On Mar 16, 2015 |
coogar: mogbe! 1 Like |
Re: Opinion: Choose Who You Want Between Me And Your Mother- Very Silly Question by Nobody: 1:14pm On Mar 16, 2015 |
babyosisi:I now understood your reason but sometime the case might not be upto that level and they will make the coment. I thank God for ur maturity during those period atleast u never make such coment because you knew it 's not proper. Take for instance i knew my Mom, her wickness is her mouth and i knew how i can handle her in such situation. |
Re: Opinion: Choose Who You Want Between Me And Your Mother- Very Silly Question by Nobody: 1:14pm On Mar 16, 2015 |
cbrass: I never said you should not love your mum. What I was saying is, once a man established his own family, he submits or gives importance to the light of the house which is his wife.(The wife should be his first priority) but he never throws out his responsibilities being a responsible son to his mother. A mother will always act as his guidance counselor but does not have the right to interfere with his sons decisions regarding family matters. As to the wife, she must set high respect on her husband's mother as she is the most influential woman on the life of her husband long before they've meet. Shikena. 7 Likes |
Re: Opinion: Choose Who You Want Between Me And Your Mother- Very Silly Question by virtousB: 1:14pm On Mar 16, 2015 |
greatgod2012: |
Re: Opinion: Choose Who You Want Between Me And Your Mother- Very Silly Question by cococandy(f): 1:16pm On Mar 16, 2015 |
[b]it all depends on the man. If your wife ever asks you to choose between her and your mom,then There is something you're not doing right as a man. My father will never come first before my husband. I will never allow the authority he has over me as a dad affect my relationship and respect for my husband. He(my dad) will never overstep his boundaries even though I will forever be his little girl. He can't call the shots in my home when I have a man in my own home. He won't pry into stuff that is beyond his privacy security clearance . Same as my mother. If they tried to, I will respectfully let them know that a decision on the issue at hand will be reached based on what I agree with my husband on. And they will be absolutely fine and content with that. No grumbling or side talking about my husband with my siblings. Sowing seeds of hatred and discomfort towards the poor guy whenever he's in their midst. Nope they won't. Now guys,why is it so hard for y'all to man up and lovingly respectfully put your parents especially moms in their place when it comes to your own immediate family? You fold your arms and watch things escalate until your wife is at the point of breaking then blame her for resorting to the only method that seems to get you to sit up. Ultimatums! Please guys the only solution to this problem lies in your hands. Your mom will meddle as far as you let her. Mind you your wife has parents too. If every parents comes into the marriage to exert their authority, we will have four parents breathing fire and unease into a marriage already having its own issues to begin with. How will the marriage last? If two people (husband and wife) can't get along superbly all the time, how do you expect them to fare when there is a third party forming protector of the weak always in their business making the other person feel sidelined? Gentlemen, three is a crowd [/b] That said, OP that question is a rude one and not very diplomatic so I alongside you implore young ladies not to use it. Doesn't solve the problem. 13 Likes |
Re: Opinion: Choose Who You Want Between Me And Your Mother- Very Silly Question by enochogaga(m): 1:17pm On Mar 16, 2015 |
greatgod2012: No man prefer his wife to his mother. No matter how a mother is, her son still love her, Pls the feelings or the love of a son toward his mother is nature oh , is not chemical reaction love we have for our galfriend or wife that can die anytime or wake anytime. Pls take note |
Re: Opinion: Choose Who You Want Between Me And Your Mother- Very Silly Question by Nobody: 1:17pm On Mar 16, 2015 |
chisom101: Please take this irritating story outta here! Your MIL flogged and poured hot soup on you, are you a goat?? Wetin dey bring that kain rough play? You sef come still open mouth dey talk am. Talk about zilch self worth. Mstcheeewww 1 Like |
Re: Opinion: Choose Who You Want Between Me And Your Mother- Very Silly Question by JoeCutie(m): 1:19pm On Mar 16, 2015 |
Vickybee:I think this love of a thing is more than how we view it sometimes. I think how much you love people again, has to do with how important they are to you. How valuable. If it's a wife who causes you pain all the time and without showing enough remorse, even if you have an impeccable and unquestionable love for her, it's only natural that this love would diminish or even die off over time. It's easier to love our parents for the obvious reasons. With our partners, it's different, as there's no natural and biological inclination there. It's just a totally different journey - adventure - which the both of you have agreed to take up. I for one, am hoping to love my mum and my wife equally. And I've every reason to... Unless any of them proves otherwise. 7 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: Opinion: Choose Who You Want Between Me And Your Mother- Very Silly Question by Nobody: 1:21pm On Mar 16, 2015 |
tivta: See this bobo dey call me aunty when I no be woman Chaii!!! The husband becomes the wife's first priority. I never said you should not love your mum. What I was saying is, once a man established his own family, he submits or gives importance to the light of the house which is his wife.(The wife should be his first priority) but he never throws out his responsibilities being a responsible son to his mother. A mother will always act as his guidance counselor but does not have the right to interfere with his sons decisions regarding family matters. As to the wife, she must set high respect on her husband's mother as she is the most influential woman on the life of her husband long before they've meet. Shikena |
Re: Opinion: Choose Who You Want Between Me And Your Mother- Very Silly Question by enochogaga(m): 1:24pm On Mar 16, 2015 |
A man that love or prefer his wife to his mother, i think sometime is wrong, like i said our love toward our wife is just a chemical reaction, but that of mother is nature, |
Re: Opinion: Choose Who You Want Between Me And Your Mother- Very Silly Question by bukatyne(f): 1:28pm On Mar 16, 2015 |
TONYE001: Good one Any body who is NOT ready to place his wife/ her husband above everyone/thing else be it children, parents, relatives etc. Should not bother with marriage. Your mother 's rightful place is beside her husband. 9 Likes |
Re: Opinion: Choose Who You Want Between Me And Your Mother- Very Silly Question by toluleke(m): 1:30pm On Mar 16, 2015 |
Blood is thick than water,my wife no be my blood,my mum is my real blood I will happily,joyfully,gladly and with all I have pick my mother..I LOVE my mother..days we suffered,cry..single parenting no easy..one useless woman go come ask me that silly question in short..she can give me my children and go.. 1 Like |
Re: Opinion: Choose Who You Want Between Me And Your Mother- Very Silly Question by MissMakas(f): 1:31pm On Mar 16, 2015 |
JoeCutie:Well said. You're always on point. Nice points. 4 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Opinion: Choose Who You Want Between Me And Your Mother- Very Silly Question by Nobody: 1:34pm On Mar 16, 2015 |
cbrass: What's this supposed to be, a sort of threat or call for karma? Are you married? 2 Likes |
Re: Opinion: Choose Who You Want Between Me And Your Mother- Very Silly Question by cococandy(f): 1:34pm On Mar 16, 2015 |
Phema:well she said ex mom. So I'm guessing she left. Who would survive in such marriage kwanu? |
Re: Opinion: Choose Who You Want Between Me And Your Mother- Very Silly Question by Juliesexy(f): 1:38pm On Mar 16, 2015 |
JoeCutie:Correct! Correct points from a correct guy. 3 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Opinion: Choose Who You Want Between Me And Your Mother- Very Silly Question by toluleke(m): 1:38pm On Mar 16, 2015 |
cococandy:so I should lock out my family because I am married..my mum is old enough to give birth to her so she has to take my mum behaviour like she is her mother..the main key in marriage is endurance, understanding and wisdom...if I know you don't like something I would endure,not do what you don't and mingle with you with wisdom..telling me to choose that an insult and I am not her property.God should just give one a good wife..that can take you as you are.. 3 Likes |
Re: Opinion: Choose Who You Want Between Me And Your Mother- Very Silly Question by Nobody: 1:42pm On Mar 16, 2015 |
This is my Prayer . . . May I never put myself in a situation where my DIL will ask my own son to chose between me and her . . . May I never come between my son and his wife . . . Shebi as my own hubby dey sweet me now, I no go let person pickin enjoy her own hubby because he is my son? May I contribute to bring joy into my son's marriage and not sorrow . . . AMEN!!! 8 Likes |
Re: Opinion: Choose Who You Want Between Me And Your Mother- Very Silly Question by bukatyne(f): 1:43pm On Mar 16, 2015 |
toluleke: I hope you are ready to take your wife as she is too? 3 Likes |
Re: Opinion: Choose Who You Want Between Me And Your Mother- Very Silly Question by enochogaga(m): 1:44pm On Mar 16, 2015 |
greatgod2012: God as said it, u dont need prayer or laying of hands to live long on the earth, God said, still obey ur parent am telling u to leave for another country,if not short live ohhhhh |
Re: Opinion: Choose Who You Want Between Me And Your Mother- Very Silly Question by Diogo1(m): 1:47pm On Mar 16, 2015 |
I appreciate the arguments of babyosisi and greatgod2012 and alot of other posters here. I'll advise girls to work with the advice of greatgod when they start their married life. Men please be the head of your families and take certain decisions. I've been married for over a decade now. When my mom points out the fault of my wife to me not to her, I simply acknowledge without pointing out more faults and tell her we will work on it. I have never told her any fault of my wife so she believes she is the best around. My wife accords my mum much more respect than greatgod portrays. If you see how my relations relate with her eh, you will wonder. She speaks with my sister (only sibling) every day while we may talk just once in a week. The lesson here is come I and feel at home. For heavens sake it's your home. I had a massive quarrel with my wife and she went to tell my mom. We obviously couldn't settle our differences between us. My mom immediately started having high Bp. She called me and sided with my wife without hearing my version (even though I felt I was right) which I refused to tell because I believe no one will adjudicate on my marriage issues. I know my sister will side her too. My dad just sent me a text 'I don't want to hear or know, just love your wife.' Women remember you will later be mother in-laws and respect the boundaries of your children. When my mum wanted to come and settle the matter, I told her not to come and she respected my opinion. I thank God we've settled the issue now and good together. I believe there are lessons to be learnt from my last week experience. Parents should learn to love their inlaws and vice versa. 2 Likes |
Re: Opinion: Choose Who You Want Between Me And Your Mother- Very Silly Question by 400billionman: 1:47pm On Mar 16, 2015 |
That's maturity from you. Congrats... |
Re: Opinion: Choose Who You Want Between Me And Your Mother- Very Silly Question by TooNoisy(f): 1:51pm On Mar 16, 2015 |
Wedon: Amen o. May God bless you. As I have asked before, how come it is only the husband's mother that is always bad. The wife's mother is an angel and will do no wrong. They set strict boundaries for the husband's mother but give their own mother free reign when she comes around. 1 Like |
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