₦airaland Forum

My room isn't dumping site

lucky032:
Sacked to your room or what?

Jacksparrow0712:
Did I hit a nerve ma'am methuselah? why the curse? Is that how you was raised? No wonder you still dey feed under papa and mama better go advertise yourself for OLX meanwhile, bi ewure ba boju wo eyin af'epe fun elepe

.yeeeeeeeee! I never knew I was talkin to an urchin. Mogbe o.just saw ur pix now.kai and I was busy wasting my time. See ur head like adiye.agbero

Some persons are just too rigid to persuade.

germainediva:
The best way to get any woman to love you is to ignore her...........women get irritated with too much attenntion

better still....



she be the wife,...



stella be the lover.

most females are like DAT. single and married. I don't know if I should call it pretence or what? yet wen u satisfy dem dey will der 'yam and oil' mouth to tell u DAT u gave dem full dose. my broda, take heart. but if u don't show romantic gestures to dem now na war.

Wetin this thing dey talk? that hair weekly pay go feed you monthly. I dare you to upload your abule pic. Let's see you acne and eczema designed face

oochi123:
.yeeeeeeeee! I never knew I was talkin to an urchin. Mogbe o.just saw ur pix now.kai and I was busy wasting my time. See ur head like adiye.agbero

lucky032:
Sacked to your room or what?

help me ask de pig.yeye dey smell

I had a similar experience as I am married with 3 kids now for 16 years while meeting my wife a virgin. Steps I took. Ignoring her did not work. It actually drove us apart and that is not any man who is committed to his marriage will do

1. I called her and spoke at length with her. Over a couple of months the changes were not significant and she reverted to her old self.

2. Bought counselling books for us to use together. Did not work because she would not want my company

3. Got my pastor involved. He counseled me and his wife counseled my wife and we did joint ones committing everything to God in prayers.

4. God answered our prayers as he conditioned both of us to be more suitable for each other.

As long there is love between you both coupled with commitment of both parties it will work out as long as you involve God who created you both.

Good luck.

Jacksparrow0712:
Get her sacked

Be reasonable.If you do not have anything reasonable to say, get off this thread as some of you do not understand the implication of your input and the consequences attached to your comment. You advise him to sack his wife who got kids for him? One day, you will be in same situation.

germainediva:
The best way to get any woman to love you is to ignore her...........women get irritated with too much attenntion

Bennymontana:
Maybe her mind's somewhere else? Hope u didnt do or go out of way to av married her; cos if her mind's wit another guy;den maybe she's not gotten over him yet..anywaz give her some space...maybe she nids space...

germainediva:
The best way to get any woman to love you is to ignore her...........women get irritated with too much attenntion

Wow! So if person no send u na to ignore am live! Hmm, bobo u r in trouble o, beta begin dey flow wit me well b4 i use dis method o!

She is cheating

@filani.
God Bless you.
Best post of the year .

filani:
@ Charlzok

You are a 36 y/o man so i will take the risk to assume you have the prerequisite level of maturity to handle a no holds barred assesment of your post. Ok , here goes.

In a manner of speaking you have answered your own question. You have followed the textbook example of what society expects from a 'good man' but like most good men you have given all these fine qualities to a woman who is not worth it.

You say she does not make you feel loved at all but i put it to you brother that her attitude to you did not just manifest overnight, she must have displayed signs of this tendency during your dating/courting period but you likely chose to ignore the red flags or even worse you didn't see the red flags as red flags at all!

My father pulled me aside one day and gave me some valuable advise which more young men should recieve before they get married.
He said 'My son, whatever you know in your heart you can never tolerate when you are married, Never Ever tolerate it while you are dating!'

The rationale behind the statement is simple, our dating life with our partners is a practice run for what married life with them will be like. If you notice a bad trait in your partner and rather than raising the issue with them you make excuses for it or tell yourself ' it will change after we get married' then you are simply your own worst enemy and you are not walking in wisdom.

Concerning your wife, think back to your dating days . did she ever go out of her way to do anything for you just because she 'cares' for you? Did you get into the habit of taking care of her without thinking that she should also return the favor? If you are brutally honest with yourself you will see that you laid the foundation for what you are experiencing now during your dating days.

You did not set a standard of positive behaviour that you expect from her for being a good boyfriend but rather you rewarded her for not pulling her wieght in the relationship by marrying her! Yikes!!! And now the result of that is clear, she has everything she wants or might want in the future because you have made it your 'duty' to give it to her .

1) she wants a good looking guys, who keeps himself fit and trim unlike those other naija guys , CHECK

2) she wants a hard working husband to handle things around the house, CHECK

3) she wants a baby, DOUBLE CHECK

4) she wants a domesticated guy who does house chores , CHECK

5) she wants a guy who makes it clear that he will do whatever it takes to please her, even thou she doesn't give a rats ass about him, CHECK

My brother , do you see the pattern here? You have sold yourself short BIG TIME!

A popular saying goes ' Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?'

My brother it is time to take your destiny into your own hands. It is time for you to go back to basics and rebuild yourself again.

1) keep working out and stay in shape but don't do it for her, do it for yourself b'cos you deserve to be the best you can be.

2) keep being a good father to the kids, develop a solid relationship with them.

3)Raise the issue with an authority figure in her life, her parents, her pastor.....lay down the story from A to Z , don't sugar coat it, let them know where you are coming from.

4) you have already raised the issue with her but do it again from a position of strength not from a beggarly mindset .Ask her what she wants from the marriage and what if anything she feels is still lacking then also tell her your own expectations from the marraige and how your deepest needs are not being met and how she can remedy that state.

4) when all else fails , serve her with DIVORCE PAPERS. You derserve to be happy ,life is to short to spend your days in emotional hell .

Shalom.

solreb:
I had a similar experience as I am married with 3 kids now for 16 years while meeting my wife a virgin. Steps I took. Ignoring her did not work. It actually drove us apart and that is not any man who is committed to his marriage will do

1. I called her and spoke at length with her. Over a couple of months the changes were not significant and she reverted to her old self.

2. Bought counselling books for us to use together. Did not work because she would not want my company

3. Got my pastor involved. He counseled me and his wife counseled my wife and we did joint ones committing everything to God in prayers.

4. God answered our prayers as he conditioned both of us to be more suitable for each other.

As long there is love between you both coupled with commitment of both parties it will work out as long as you involve God who created you both.

Good luck.

You mean you went through all that?

germainediva:
The best way to get any woman to love you is to ignore her...........women get irritated with too much attenntion

@OP, this reply is ok, you can take the advice.

solreb:
I had a similar experience as I am married with 3 kids now for 16 years while meeting my wife a virgin. Steps I took. Ignoring her did not work. It actually drove us apart and that is not any man who is committed to his marriage will do

1. I called her and spoke at length with her. Over a couple of months the changes were not significant and she reverted to her old self.

2. Bought counselling books for us to use together. Did not work because she would not want my company

3. Got my pastor involved. He counseled me and his wife counseled my wife and we did joint ones committing everything to God in prayers.

4. God answered our prayers as he conditioned both of us to be more suitable for each other.

As long there is love between you both coupled with commitment of both parties it will work out as long as you involve God who created you both.

Good luck.

This is such a sweet ending!

germainediva:
The best way to get any woman to love you is to ignore her...........women get irritated with too much attenntion

Classic

Bro, i have 1 good logic that will work 4u like a magic. First, u will need 2 women to play this part 4u secretly. One of the women will be are tight friend she trust and the other woman will be just a woman she don't know. Here goes the plan, u call her are tight friend and explain what is going on and that u need her help. Now this is what u will plan with her. Tell her that she should tell your wife that she is secretly seeing another woman with u and u still plan with her how your wife is going to believe the whole story. Again, u plan with other woman where u will be meeting every 9t but should be outside. This is were her tight friend will took her to d joint to see u and the woman. Now, if your wife is shy now u will know. This is when her brain will start to reset and she will change but don't show her affectionate feelings if she is showing u always be a pretender and believe her body will be warm METHOD 2: very simple, create a rumor that u want to take in another wife. Believe me will be worried and if she called u and discuss the issue with u tell her that the person u want to marry show u affectionate feeling she buy u gift, she do this, she do that and she is véry kind now she will regret all what u told her meanwhile not knowing u are playing fool out of her.

Op, I know how you feel herein. Do not hold negative thoughts about her action.I can only see an introvert who was not exposed to most wild life style or been corrupted socially. She is having that old fashioned kind of life and is the type that find it hard to cheat.

All you need to do is to try and tutor her to what you need.Try to make her feel wanted and keep teaching her. There are some women that have that character to cheat because they are nymphos and cannot do without s3x and would initiate and give you all those things you needed but you cannot have peace.When you are not around, they can cheat on you.Another aspect is that, no two perfect people on the surface of this earth. You do not expect her to be 100% of what you needed. All you needed is to accommodate her weak point because at this point that you are legally married and kids involved, allow God to take the weaker point of her person by accommodating her in order for your marriage to work.

Op, I believe your wife lives you but do not know how to express herself. I wish you God's blessings.

charlezok:
I am a 36 year old man in pretty good shape, 6'2" and good looking. I am a very affectionate and loving person, but my wife is not. I am always the one to initiate sex, hugs, kisses, or any type of physical contact. I don't understand why she's so cold to me. I love her with all my heart, but she is breaking me down. I have tried doing more of the housework, working out 5 days a week, anything I could think of to get her more interested in me but nothing works. She tells me that she loves me, but she doesn't make me feel loved at all. I want her to want to be with me without me asking her too. We have 2 kids that I am committed to being here for, so I am at a loss as to what I should do. Sorry for rambling, but a brother needs help here.

@Op did you say you help with housework? I hardly hear rich men make such complains. Make a lot of money so your wife doesn't need to do any thing but just having fun. Do this and if it doesn't work stone me.

charlezok:
I am a 36 year old man in pretty good shape, 6'2" and good looking. I am a very affectionate and loving person, but my wife is not. I am always the one to initiate sex, hugs, kisses, or any type of physical contact.I don't understand why she's so cold to me. I love her with all my heart, but she is breaking me down. I have tried doing more of the housework, working out 5 days a week, anything I could think of to get her more interested in me but nothing works. She tells me that she loves me, but she doesn't make me feel loved at all. I want her to want to be with me without me asking her too. We have 2 kids that I am committed to being here for, so I am at a loss as to what I should do. Sorry for rambling, but a brother needs help here.

There is nothing wrong with your wife. Believe me when I tell you that most women are like that. Even Oyibo women, talk less African or Nigerian women. Women just like to be taken. So my friend just take her. Most women I've been with are at their driest when they are the one that initiates sex. But when I grab her by the neck and shove her head down below with a little choking, she will be dripping like a wet sponge.
Women just like to be taken sexually. As long as your wife is not refusing you sex, carry on like that. If you ever force her to initiate sex or hugs, that will e the end of your romantic and sexual relationship. FYI, romance for women has nothing to do with what happens in the bedroom. Romance are all those shopping and taking out you do for her.

It's a public forum. Pls respect my opinion.

andyanders:
Be reasonable.If you do not have anything reasonable to say, get off this thread as some of you do not understand the implication of your input and the consequences attached to your comment. You advise him to sack his wife who got kids for him? One day, you will be in same situation.

histemple:
Find out what catches her fancy and try that. It's possible she really loves you but she might be shy. It sounds strange but some ladies are too shy not to initiate plays or play dirty with their husband.

taaa let me hear word, she is shy with her husband, women are snakes,cold blooded and poisonous, was she a virgin b4 she got married?didnt she have sex with past boyfriends all those years b4 getting married? she dosent love the man jaree.love cant hide itself,you will see it all over her body and her attitiude towards the man..

Oga o! What is the point of stealing from another site? - http://www.experienceproject.com/stories/Am-Married-But-Lonely/790549

"I am a 39 year old man in pretty good shape, 6'2" and fairly good looking. I am a very affectionate and loving person, but my wife is not. I am always the one to initiate sex, hugs, kisses, or any type of physical contact. I don't understand why she's so cold to me. I love her with all my heart, but she is breaking me down. I have tried doing more of the housework, working out 5 days a week, anything I could think of to get her more interested in me but nothing works. She tells me that she loves me, but she doesn't make me feel loved at all. I want her to want to be with me without me asking her too. We have 2 kids that I am committed to being here for, so I am at a loss as to what I should do. Sorry for rambling."

You should at least credit the original source.

skyfullofstars:
Hello! This may not be the case but... Some people have distant and cold personalities, this could be her case. Some people don't show their love as we would expect them to, it's mainly psychological and depends on many factors such as how she was raised by her parents, whether her parents showed affection or not etc... You may be interested in looking up on Google "my wife is not affectionate" and you'll be surprised at how many people have this problem, and their discussion in forums.

I wish you the best of luck...

nice idea girl,u re intelligent..

charlezok:
I am a 36 year old man in pretty good shape, 6'2" and good looking. I am a very affectionate and loving person, but my wife is not. I am always the one to initiate sex, hugs, kisses, or any type of physical contact. I don't understand why she's so cold to me. I love her with all my heart, but she is breaking me down. I have tried doing more of the housework, working out 5 days a week, anything I could think of to get her more interested in me but nothing works. She tells me that she loves me, but she doesn't make me feel loved at all. I want her to want to be with me without me asking her too. We have 2 kids that I am committed to being here for, so I am at a loss as to what I should do. Sorry for rambling, but a brother needs help here.

was she a virgin before you married her?didnt she had previous boyfriends,that she had sex with? Leave all these women that pretend more than serpent, being shy with her own husby what does that mean..man that girl married you just because you were ready for her needs, not that she is attracted to you and loves you..

Jacksparrow0712:
My room isn't dumping site

And her father's house is now a dumping site?

harrysterol:
No more pleading, just do your thing and act normal, am guessing you showed her so much affection that is irritating her

Hi, Senator

I suspect ur wife to be a frigid woman,i.e a woman who does not have sexual desires,I have a friend when we are in school who told me plainly that she pretends that she is enjoying sex while in reality she is not, and as I am writing this to now she is a married woman with four children,but provided whenever u request for sex she will not deny you of it and you are sure that she really loves you, then to me u don't have much problem.

charlezok:
I am a 36 year old man in pretty good shape, 6'2" and good looking. I am a very affectionate and loving person, but my wife is not. I am always the one to initiate sex, hugs, kisses, or any type of physical contact. I don't understand why she's so cold to me. I love her with all my heart, but she is breaking me down. I have tried doing more of the housework, working out 5 days a week, anything I could think of to get her more interested in me but nothing works. She tells me that she loves me, but she doesn't make me feel loved at all. I want her to want to be with me without me asking her too. We have 2 kids that I am committed to being here for, so I am at a loss as to what I should do. Sorry for rambling, but a brother needs help here.

PM me, I will show you love and affection

Where ever he picked her from, he can always return

lucky032:
And her father's house is now a dumping site?

Chinom:
There is nothing wrong with your wife. Believe me when I tell you that most women are like that. Even Oyibo women, talk less African or Nigerian women. Women just like to be taken. So my friend just take her. Most women I've been with are at their driest when they are the one that initiates sex. [/b]But when I grab her by the neck and shove her head down below with a little choking[b], she will be dripping like a wet sponge.
Women just like to be taken sexually. As long as your wife is not refusing you sex, carry on like that. If you ever force her to initiate sex or hugs, that will e the end of your romantic and sexual relationship. FYI, romance for women has nothing to do with what happens in the bedroom. Romance are all those shopping and taking out you do for her.

Rape alert!!!

Brandnew2:
This is classic.

I'll take this advice seriously if I were you OP. You are a man for crying out loud, you are not supposed to be the one sulking here. It's supposed to be the other way round.

I learnt my lesson ever since I got dumped for making too much calls and all. Other girls I dated ever since made most of the calls and showed all the love.
Seeking your spouse's love is like chasing after your own shadow. The more you reach out, the more it gets father away from you.

Just do your thing and have fun with regular men stuff like sports and hanging out with your buddies. Pay more attention to your work/career/business and fulfill your obligations as the man of the house. Trust me she'll be the one sucking up to you in no time.
****
EDIT
****

Not saying you should totally ignore your wife. Just be more bubbly and fun by doing what makes you happy, she'll become curious as to your new found joy and will want to tap into that.
Then you can respond to her appropriately.
This requires no magic or some spiritual influence.


#My2kobo.

I quite agree with you. I think you spoke from experience. I think this approach will work. You need to act in this manner sometimes to achieve an aim. Sometimes chasing a woman's love is just like chasing shadows. Best wishes as U try 2 make things work.