Hi55:
Hello nairalanders, I just wish I'll get a shoulder or two to cry on tonight. Things are becoming unbearable for me and I don't know how far I can walk on these shoes. Here's my story...


I am 28 and married to a 35yr old youngman whom I love so dearly. We are blessed with 2 kids and most material things one can pray for. My marriage is 5yrs with just minor issues that do come up once in a VERY LONG while.

The problem is that my hubby does not show me affection and hardly approaches me for sex. I am a very neat, beautiful, Godfearing, educated and classy lady. Most times I am the one who initiates intimacy in our marriage. My heart breaks each time I read or hear of women who deny their husbands sex because its an opposite in my case. For more than two months now we've not been intimate. To make matters worse, he prefers to sleep in the sitting room or children's room than in our matrimonial room.

He always pretends to be tired but not too tired to be chatting on whatsapp with friends. I have his password, that is not an issue. I am not suspecting anything even though I'm not totally ruling out the possibility of adultery. He comes back very late in the night unlike before. Infact even when he comes early these days, he will rather stay with friends within the street or house than come inside. Believe me nairalanders, we don't have issues. Infact he keeps saying that God blessed him with a wonderful woman. It's not like I make the house uncomfortable for him. The only communication we have these days is greetings, asking how the day went or few general topics.

I am not a woman who can't do without sex but I just need to be shown affection even if sex is not there. Committing adultery on my own part is IMPOSSIBLE, i will rather opt for divorce. I am so confused, lonely and heartbroken. I love my husband beyond the word LOVE. I just wish he can see the tears in my eyes as I lay lonely on our bed each night. I am very fragile by nature and gets hurt easily. Believe me...this is killing me.

Please, people drop a word or two for a hurting soul.

[size=18pt]If he does not approach you for s e x then you approach him instead of approaching nairalanders. You need a shoulder or 2 to cry on, you never talk wetin you dey find. .

A wise man once said, dont let your gf discuss her problem with another guy, sometimes a shoulder to lean on becomes a **** to ride on. [/size]

Hi55:
Hello nairalanders, I just wish I'll get a shoulder or two to cry on tonight. Things are becoming unbearable for me and I don't know how far I can walk on these shoes. Here's my story...


I am 28 and married to a 35yr old youngman whom I love so dearly. We are blessed with 2 kids and most material things one can pray for. My marriage is 5yrs with just minor issues that do come up once in a VERY LONG while.
.

Larryklef:
My dear, you must have irritated ur husband by hurting him wickedly. My own story is even worse in marriage. I would rather Mastubate than have sex with my wife. I just don't feel her any longer after only a year in marriage. For her, she cheated and I just can't forgive her despite trying severally to move on.

Hi55:
Thanks to you all for the words of advice and encouragement. To answer some of your questions: yes I have a job, my husband has NEVER been much of the sex type right from the onset but he also doesn't ignore me or sleep in the sitting room like he does now. My problem is majorly the lack of affection and not just sex. I can stay for ages without sex but not when my husband is alive and sleeps under the same roof with me daily. It doesn't just seem right to me. I love my kids beyond words but the truth remains that I'm not married to them so they can't play the role of a husband. The funniest part of it all is that he goes on as if all is well.
Someone talked about men being distracted if they have a project at hand. Yes, we have a huge project at hand but I still do not see the connection. I can't masturbate or commit adultery but I can take a walk out of the marriage if things become unbearable for me. I just love him too much and he seems to be taking advantage of that. I NEVER threw myself at him. This life is such an irony because a lot of men are out there begging their wives for intimacy. I just pray he is not cheating on me because if I find out, his family will receive his corpse prematurely. That is one thing I am certain about.

Hi55:
Hello nairalanders, I just wish I'll get a shoulder or two to cry on tonight. Things are becoming unbearable for me and I don't know how far I can walk on these shoes. Here's my story...


I am 28 and married to a 35yr old youngman whom I love so dearly. We are blessed with 2 kids and most material things one can pray for. My marriage is 5yrs with just minor issues that do come up once in a VERY LONG while.

The problem is that my hubby does not show me affection and hardly approaches me for sex. I am a very neat, beautiful, Godfearing, educated and classy lady. Most times I am the one who initiates intimacy in our marriage. My heart breaks each time I read or hear of women who deny their husbands sex because its an opposite in my case. For more than two months now we've not been intimate. To make matters worse, he prefers to sleep in the sitting room or children's room than in our matrimonial room.

He always pretends to be tired but not too tired to be chatting on whatsapp with friends. I have his password, that is not an issue. I am not suspecting anything even though I'm not totally ruling out the possibility of adultery. He comes back very late in the night unlike before. Infact even when he comes early these days, he will rather stay with friends within the street or house than come inside. Believe me nairalanders, we don't have issues. Infact he keeps saying that God blessed him with a wonderful woman. It's not like I make the house uncomfortable for him. The only communication we have these days is greetings, asking how the day went or few general topics.

I am not a woman who can't do without sex but I just need to be shown affection even if sex is not there. Committing adultery on my own part is IMPOSSIBLE, i will rather opt for divorce. I am so confused, lonely and heartbroken. I love my husband beyond the word LOVE. I just wish he can see the tears in my eyes as I lay lonely on our bed each night. I am very fragile by nature and gets hurt easily. Believe me...this is killing me.

Please, people drop a word or two for a hurting soul.

Kachisbarbie:
Has he been like this? (Yes) alright then...
Well, decline in libido after kids is very normal. It doesn't always mean anyone is cheating or not well kept_ it just happens.
He could also be having issues at work, extended family...etc. Make him confide in you. Have some couple day out, lunch/dinners. It rekindles connection.

For the sex: Take the bull by the horn. Take a shower, put kiddies to bed and spray a nice cologne. You may have to change formation, we all get bored with man ontop- woman under shii. Maybe he hasn't been sexed in a way that resets his brain.

Learn to play with his D like it's a toy, that would start sending messages across first. Then, sit on him sweerie, that's after making sure you have gotten his 'maximum/minimum' attention. Make the D slide in, then ride him till he forgets his state of origin.
If the D is that type that is like a hilux's stick shift, please support yourself by the knees.

OR: if he is ontop, try to wiggle_ like you're belly dancing hah?
Touch him, run fingers down his spine and nibble on his ears. Enjoy that shii... even if he doesn't want to.

Above all, talk to him. Communication in marriage is 2way, teach him to enjoy sex and companionship, be patient with him. If he has to sleep in the bath tub, make him realise you would sleep there too.

Artistree:
This story is a replica of a couple I know...Well, their marriage is 4 years old, she is 28 and the guy is 36, they have two kids and are materially ok too. She is neat, independent, pretty, educated and all, but the husband wouldn't touch her for any reason.
I wonder if it's the same couple but the guy I know in real life doesn't have friends on his street that he hangs out with and yes, he never touches his wife until he wants them to have a baby. He says he tries to love his wife but simply can't, even though she is the best thing to have happened to him. They don't quarrel and she is very obedient but they live as siblings and the wife tells him dat quite often.
At some point I was thinking it's because she made the move on him and all that, but seriously the lady doesn't deserve the kind of treatment her husband gives her.
I know both of them personally before they got married but the guy is more of my friend than the lady...wat a coincidence of story!

hoebamaa:
You need to grow up..jst saying.

MsBliss:
nah this kind thing dey make person to dey fear to marry.

Hi55:
Hello nairalanders, I just wish I'll get a shoulder or two to cry on tonight. Things are becoming unbearable for me and I don't know how far I can walk on these shoes. Here's my story...


I am 28 and married to a 35yr old youngman whom I love so dearly. We are blessed with 2 kids and most material things one can pray for. My marriage is 5yrs with just minor issues that do come up once in a VERY LONG while.

The problem is that my hubby does not show me affection and hardly approaches me for sex. I am a very neat, beautiful, Godfearing, educated and classy lady. Most times I am the one who initiates intimacy in our marriage. My heart breaks each time I read or hear of women who deny their husbands sex because its an opposite in my case. For more than two months now we've not been intimate. To make matters worse, he prefers to sleep in the sitting room or children's room than in our matrimonial room.

He always pretends to be tired but not too tired to be chatting on whatsapp with friends. I have his password, that is not an issue. I am not suspecting anything even though I'm not totally ruling out the possibility of adultery. He comes back very late in the night unlike before. Infact even when he comes early these days, he will rather stay with friends within the street or house than come inside. Believe me nairalanders, we don't have issues. Infact he keeps saying that God blessed him with a wonderful woman. It's not like I make the house uncomfortable for him. The only communication we have these days is greetings, asking how the day went or few general topics.

I am not a woman who can't do without sex but I just need to be shown affection even if sex is not there. Committing adultery on my own part is IMPOSSIBLE, i will rather opt for divorce. I am so confused, lonely and heartbroken. I love my husband beyond the word LOVE. I just wish he can see the tears in my eyes as I lay lonely on our bed each night. I am very fragile by nature and gets hurt easily. Believe me...this is killing me.

Please, people drop a word or two for a hurting soul.

yomi007k:
GO GET BUSY, u sef no go get him time.

And u'll see him running back to u.

thorpido:
Have you really tried to sit him down to discuss this and let him know how you feel?
If a man stays away from sex for two months,he either has a medical issue that has made his libido drop or he is getting it elsewhere.
Some men get bored with sex with their wives especially if she makes it routine(missionary style alone e.t.c).It's no excuse to begin to stay away but the woman should get the initiative and a matured man should communicate it.

By the way,why is he coming back late of recent?Is he busier at work or just hanging out?
You guys need intimate talk.

Ab025:
@poster...

I feel ur pain. Atimes, we men take away our mind from sex, especially if we have something else that is deeply troubling us. But in this case, u say he doesn't even show u attention nd care anymore, well. I think something is wrong somewhere

Either there is something troubling his mind or you dnt look sexy to him nowadays or there is another woman in the picture...

I just pray it's not the last option sha!

#And hope u are not a nagging wife or didn't insult him with unforgettable words...... Cos u ladies can be funny atimes, we just heard ur version of events now but you didn't tell us what u did to make him start treating u like this all of a sudden??

Hi55:
Hello nairalanders, I just wish I'll get a shoulder or two to cry on tonight. Things are becoming unbearable for me and I don't know how far I can walk on these shoes. Here's my story...


I am 28 and married to a 35yr old youngman whom I love so dearly. We are blessed with 2 kids and most material things one can pray for. My marriage is 5yrs with just minor issues that do come up once in a VERY LONG while.

The problem is that my hubby does not show me affection and hardly approaches me for sex. I am a very neat, beautiful, Godfearing, educated and classy lady. Most times I am the one who initiates intimacy in our marriage. My heart breaks each time I read or hear of women who deny their husbands sex because its an opposite in my case. For more than two months now we've not been intimate. To make matters worse, he prefers to sleep in the sitting room or children's room than in our matrimonial room.

He always pretends to be tired but not too tired to be chatting on whatsapp with friends. I have his password, that is not an issue. I am not suspecting anything even though I'm not totally ruling out the possibility of adultery. He comes back very late in the night unlike before. Infact even when he comes early these days, he will rather stay with friends within the street or house than come inside. Believe me nairalanders, we don't have issues. Infact he keeps saying that God blessed him with a wonderful woman. It's not like I make the house uncomfortable for him. The only communication we have these days is greetings, asking how the day went or few general topics.

I am not a woman who can't do without sex but I just need to be shown affection even if sex is not there. Committing adultery on my own part is IMPOSSIBLE, i will rather opt for divorce. I am so confused, lonely and heartbroken. I love my husband beyond the word LOVE. I just wish he can see the tears in my eyes as I lay lonely on our bed each night. I am very fragile by nature and gets hurt easily. Believe me...this is killing me.

Please, people drop a word or two for a hurting soul.