₦airaland Forum

My dear.

It's not normal for a man to keep away from his wife for two whole month. If he doesn't have any health challenges, then his body must naturally ask for sex even if the wife is ugly.
I hope you still keep yourself very attractive for him.you must keep up a sexy and attractive look always.

Men go in and out of adultery especially in this part of the world. He might be in another sexual relationship outside that exhaust him before getting home. should try and talk to him

Hi55:
Hello nairalanders, I just wish I'll get a shoulder or two to cry on tonight. Things are becoming unbearable for me and I don't know how far I can walk on these shoes. Here's my story...


I am 28 and married to a 35yr old youngman whom I love so dearly. We are blessed with 2 kids and most material things one can pray for. My marriage is 5yrs with just minor issues that do come up once in a VERY LONG while.

The problem is that my hubby does not show me affection and hardly approaches me for sex. I am a very neat, beautiful, Godfearing, educated and classy lady. Most times I am the one who initiates intimacy in our marriage. My heart breaks each time I read or hear of women who deny their husbands sex because its an opposite in my case. For more than two months now we've not been intimate. To make matters worse, he prefers to sleep in the sitting room or children's room than in our matrimonial room.

He always pretends to be tired but not too tired to be chatting on whatsapp with friends. I have his password, that is not an issue. I am not suspecting anything even though I'm not totally ruling out the possibility of adultery. He comes back very late in the night unlike before. Infact even when he comes early these days, he will rather stay with friends within the street or house than come inside. Believe me nairalanders, we don't have issues. Infact he keeps saying that God blessed him with a wonderful woman. It's not like I make the house uncomfortable for him. The only communication we have these days is greetings, asking how the day went or few general topics.

I am not a woman who can't do without sex but I just need to be shown affection even if sex is not there. Committing adultery on my own part is IMPOSSIBLE, i will rather opt for divorce. I am so confused, lonely and heartbroken. I love my husband beyond the word LOVE. I just wish he can see the tears in my eyes as I lay lonely on our bed each night. I am very fragile by nature and gets hurt easily. Believe me...this is killing me.

Please, people drop a word or two for a hurting soul.

There is this thead I bookmarked, it talked about fun-bonding activities. I suggest you try those fun-bonding activities together as a family and also as a couple. Also try using ur kids to talk on ur behalf ie if you have tried to no avail talking to him.
It is well. But frankly open up to him and find activities that will keep you productive and engaged.

Hi55:
Hello nairalanders, I just wish I'll get a shoulder or two to cry on tonight. Things are becoming unbearable for me and I don't know how far I can walk on these shoes. Here's my story...


I am 28 and married to a 35yr old youngman whom I love so dearly. We are blessed with 2 kids and most material things one can pray for. My marriage is 5yrs with just minor issues that do come up once in a VERY LONG while.

The problem is that my hubby does not show me affection and hardly approaches me for sex. I am a very neat, beautiful, Godfearing, educated and classy lady. Most times I am the one who initiates intimacy in our marriage. My heart breaks each time I read or hear of women who deny their husbands sex because its an opposite in my case. For more than two months now we've not been intimate. To make matters worse, he prefers to sleep in the sitting room or children's room than in our matrimonial room.

He always pretends to be tired but not too tired to be chatting on whatsapp with friends. I have his password, that is not an issue. I am not suspecting anything even though I'm not totally ruling out the possibility of adultery. He comes back very late in the night unlike before. Infact even when he comes early these days, he will rather stay with friends within the street or house than come inside. Believe me nairalanders, we don't have issues. Infact he keeps saying that God blessed him with a wonderful woman. It's not like I make the house uncomfortable for him. The only communication we have these days is greetings, asking how the day went or few general topics.

I am not a woman who can't do without sex but I just need to be shown affection even if sex is not there. Committing adultery on my own part is IMPOSSIBLE, i will rather opt for divorce. I am so confused, lonely and heartbroken. I love my husband beyond the word LOVE. I just wish he can see the tears in my eyes as I lay lonely on our bed each night. I am very fragile by nature and gets hurt easily. Believe me...this is killing me.

Please, people drop a word or two for a hurting soul.

I wish this letter were edited and re-directed to him.

An2elect2:
Hian! see gobe o

since you cant speak to him, put it in writing for him...

fast and pray tinz will turn around for gud

PLS HOW CAN I POST A NEWS ON NAIRALAND ?

You have been prayed for please take to my advice and stop reading those nonsense that some of this nairalanders sending and don't allow someone that he or her marriage has broken already to come and break yours.

The rate at which marriages collapse nowadays is assuming a social status symbol in our society. Just like chieftancy.

Artistree:
This story is a replica of a couple I know...Well, their marriage is 4 years old, she is 28 and the guy is 36, they have two kids and are materially ok too. She is neat, independent, pretty, educated and all, but the husband wouldn't touch her for any reason.
I wonder if it's the same couple but the guy I know in real life doesn't have friends on his street that he hangs out with and yes, he never touches his wife until he wants them to have a baby. He says he tries to love his wife but simply can't, even though she is the best thing to have happened to him. They don't quarrel and she is very obedient but they live as siblings and the wife tells him dat quite often.
At some point I was thinking it's because she made the move on him and all that, but seriously the lady doesn't deserve the kind of treatment her husband gives her.
I know both of them personally before they got married but the guy is more of my friend than the lady...wat a coincidence of story!

The guy may be a closet gay. Some of them marry just for the kids and don't practice their gay acts because of 9ja society.

These kind of guys are very good friends to females. They are never interested in anything more, just being friends is okay.

Ab025:
@poster...

I feel ur pain. Atimes, we men take away our mind from sex, especially if we have something else that is deeply troubling us. But in this case, u say he doesn't even show u attention nd care anymore, well. I think something is wrong somewhere

Either there is something troubling his mind or you dnt look sexy to him nowadays or there is another woman in the picture...

I just pray it's not the last option sha!

#And hope u are not a nagging wife or didn't insult him with unforgettable words...... Cos u ladies can be funny atimes, we just heard ur version of events now but you didn't tell us what u did to make him start treating u like this all of a sudden??

only a married man can tell this!! Experience is the only teacher. Women talk wen they're angry n the educated ones are feminists.. Then they apologise.. Forgeting one simple fact... Sorry DON'T mean shyte, wen we knw ull still do it again. I can tke a vicious woman bt an unsubmissive woman who blves she knws best for the home will surely not get any dck up.
My opinion

KanwuliaJara:
Hmmmmm

Onoda wan don come o!
All these women wey dey look for love and affection from Naija men na waya o!

Una nefa learn to marry to get MARRIAGE SAFITIKATE and BORN ONLY?

Una mamas nor teasssssh una to loff una sefs?

You are "blessed" with 2 kids and you are on NL to cry for blokos?

Liar!!!!!
Ask any woman TRULY BLESSED WITH JUST ONE KID! Her attention done SHIFT tey tey to her darling pikin! E come be TWO KIDS?
Where da PHOCK do YOU find the time?
SHAMELESS, JOBLESS WOMAN!


Mtcheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew!!!!


Song of the day!



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0te6iD1jCjM

Not every woman is as vile, vain and vicious as u are, idiot.

HABI OOOOOO....GO TO GOD NOT NAIRALAND FOR ALL DS KIND OF STORY.

KingEbukasBlog:
1. Has this been his attitude since you guys got married ?

2. If not , sit him down and talk to him . Communication is very important in relationships/marriage

3. Spice up your love/sex life cos apparently its boring ( you wouldn't be complaining if it was exciting )

4. Make him spend time with you and your kids . The love both of you have for the kids could rekindle that spark you once had in your marriage

5. Bringing private issues in a public forum could exacerbate the whole thing if he finds out that your description matches the current situation at home . Maybe through his friends he could see this post or whatever

6. Pray to God . If you are a christian pray to your God and tell him your problems . There are millions of testimonies concerning this issue .

7. This could be a test of how virtuous you are as a wife . Would you still able to be faithful to your husband if he continues to be like this ?

eyaaa,,anyway,,try. and convince him. to follow you to a show,,,take him to a strippers club,i bet d guy go grind ur kittycat for the club toilet..try am

MagicEmpire:
Also have a friend with such issues.
Exactly the way you narrated yours.
Hope yours doesn't stay in Asaba!

No darling, we don't stay in Asaba, this is just to show that loveless marriages abound...good morning!

if ur husbnd did nt v any affairs outside ur marriage i tink sometin is wrng smewhere.cal him n explain to him n also pray to God abt it

You can lie against him all you want but the fact speaks for it self. How can you claim to love him and now threatening to kill him. Bitch, its better you walk out by means of divorce. My bet is that you certainly have done something wrong because you said it yourself that he was not like this when you guys got married newly. Oooh... Bitch my guess is that you bleeped someone or his spirit is telling him that you've been bad(you've changed drastically to the point where he feels very irritated to sleep in same room with you.
You said "you love him so much" girl, I must tell you that you don't love him at all else, some thoughts won't come into your head. Ask yourself and be honest in your answers, what have you done wrong ?? Because men don't just change for no reason. Him not fucking you, if I'm correct, your spirit is confirming that he has not cheated on you at least for now. The truth is that you've been a bad bitch and you need more than words to change him again for better. You're not the woman he married.

Hi55:
Thanks to you all for the words of advice and encouragement. To answer some of your questions: yes I have a job, my husband has NEVER been much of the sex type right from the onset but he also doesn't ignore me or sleep in the sitting room like he does now. My problem is majorly the lack of affection and not just sex. I can stay for ages without sex but not when my husband is alive and sleeps under the same roof with me daily. It doesn't just seem right to me. I love my kids beyond words but the truth remains that I'm not married to them so they can't play the role of a husband. The funniest part of it all is that he goes on as if all is well.
Someone talked about men being distracted if they have a project at hand. Yes, we have a huge project at hand but I still do not see the connection. I can't masturbate or commit adultery but I can take a walk out of the marriage if things become unbearable for me. I just love him too much and he seems to be taking advantage of that. I NEVER threw myself at him. This life is such an irony because a lot of men are out there begging their wives for intimacy. I just pray he is not cheating on me because if I find out, his family will receive his corpse prematurely. That is one thing I am certain about.

My sister the lord is your strength.well,in my opinion Is either the man has gotten another mistress outside or he dosent find you attractive anymore

Hi,

I strongly believe one out of these two:

1. He just noticed he's got an infection and wouldn't want to share it you. he has come to appreciate what he took for granted hence the reason why he acknowledges god for giving him a wonderful wife.

2. He is Cheating on you and probably has gotten the other lady pregnant. He is seriously contemplating taking a second wife or getting a place somewhere for her (if it isnt done already) hence the incessant late coming.

PLEASE! do not have sex with him untill you both have gone for a test; HIV, Culture etc.

Regards

frodobee:
There is this thead I bookmarked, it talked about fun-bonding activities. I suggest you try those fun-bonding activities together as a family and also as a couple. Also try using ur kids to talk on ur behalf ie if you have tried to no avail talking to him.
It is well. But frankly open up to him and find activities that will keep you productive and engaged.

PLEASE DON'T TRY this. Plss advice rationally o. The kids ke

kinibigdeal:
Go to God not Nairaland

on point brother!

wake him up in d middle of d night.tell him wat u r going 2ru emotionally abt him not showing affections and plead wt him 2 4give u in whatever u might ve hurt him u may nt know.am sure he wl speak out who knows it kud an influence from friends or family.it has once happened in my marriage b4

Missonas:
"our", "me".Na you be the hubby in question?

no am not

Hi55:
Hello nairalanders, I just wish I'll get a shoulder or two to cry on tonight. Things are becoming unbearable for me and I don't know how far I can walk on these shoes. Here's my story...


I am 28 and married to a 35yr old youngman whom I love so dearly. We are blessed with 2 kids and most material things one can pray for. My marriage is 5yrs with just minor issues that do come up once in a VERY LONG while.

The problem is that my hubby does not show me affection and hardly approaches me for sex. I am a very neat, beautiful, Godfearing, educated and classy lady. Most times I am the one who initiates intimacy in our marriage. My heart breaks each time I read or hear of women who deny their husbands sex because its an opposite in my case. For more than two months now we've not been intimate. To make matters worse, he prefers to sleep in the sitting room or children's room than in our matrimonial room.

He always pretends to be tired but not too tired to be chatting on whatsapp with friends. I have his password, that is not an issue. I am not suspecting anything even though I'm not totally ruling out the possibility of adultery. He comes back very late in the night unlike before. Infact even when he comes early these days, he will rather stay with friends within the street or house than come inside. Believe me nairalanders, we don't have issues. Infact he keeps saying that God blessed him with a wonderful woman. It's not like I make the house uncomfortable for him. The only communication we have these days is greetings, asking how the day went or few general topics.

I am not a woman who can't do without sex but I just need to be shown affection even if sex is not there. Committing adultery on my own part is IMPOSSIBLE, i will rather opt for divorce. I am so confused, lonely and heartbroken. I love my husband beyond the word LOVE. I just wish he can see the tears in my eyes as I lay lonely on our bed each night. I am very fragile by nature and gets hurt easily. Believe me...this is killing me.

Please, people drop a word or two for a hurting soul.

How your pussey smell?

Serious question. Not a joking matter.

wake him up in d middle of d night.tell him wat u r going 2ru emotionally abt him not showing affections and plead wt him 2 4give u in whatever ways u might ve hurt him u may nt know.am sure h
e wl speak out who knows it kud an influence from friends or family.it has once happened in my marriage b4...don't panic it is bound to happen in marriage divorce is not an option.mind u do nt discuss this wt 4rnds or ur family cos it's an issue u can manage alone without interference. may God let this work

kinibigdeal:
Go to God not Nairaland

You said it all

classicB:
He might be the type that likes punishing people emotionally. You have to tell him how you feel

hmm, I belong to this group cus I prefer it more than using my industrious hand negatively on women. Only fake men beats their woman when they can easily deal with their emotions and make them cry all day.

madam, it is well only in prayers cus men with such abilities hardly cheat on their wife or spouse. sit him down and discuss the whole issue with me, Shalom

babysophie:
Face ur children n work if u v any,dress sexily n smart. If u nid sexual satisfaction den learn hw to masturbate n u will be too tired to fink of a husband hu doesn't v ur tym.

Shame on you, if this is the advice you can offer

People don't really understand wat u said madam, buh its true talk, a fact cos some people don't know. just try to work it out ma.

hmmm...

aaronson:
A whole lot of primitive minded people would tell you, talk to god but, was god asleep when your husband is on his worst behaviour?

Like you already said, you well educated and I tell you what, No amount of education can be enough to make somebody well because education is lifelong process and its applicable to this your marital issue, what you passing through would be solved by yourself and for yourself.

First, Dialogue, get your hubby to listen to your heart felt pain and if he insist, get on plan B using the education tool of psychology and reverse psychology, Study to use psychology & Reverse psychology on him and watch him treat you like he just met you.

For example, you wrote, he likes to chat on whatsapp neglecting you, Also download whatsapp on your phone and sit across from him when he does and pretend to be chatting away, screaming in amazement and joy, enjoying the chat, that's reverse psychology getting him to be jealous and see him ask relevant questions, when he does, answer him in tears and explain the neglect he's putting you through despite how she's appealing to the outside world, he would have a rethink and same time wouldn't want to loose you, unless ofcourse you not the one he married.

Sir you really make alots sense and this should help op at large if she can apply the method wisely...welldone.

tosyne2much:
Wey some wives dey deprive their husbands of kitty-cat, this one dey deny his wife of joystick


*irony of life*

That is how i will deprive you kitty when we marry

Hi55:
Hello nairalanders, I just wish I'll get a shoulder or two to cry on tonight. Things are becoming unbearable for me and I don't know how far I can walk on these shoes. Here's my story...


I am 28 and married to a 35yr old youngman whom I love so dearly. We are blessed with 2 kids and most material things one can pray for. My marriage is 5yrs with just minor issues that do come up once in a VERY LONG while.

The problem is that my hubby does not show me affection and hardly approaches me for sex. I am a very neat, beautiful, Godfearing, educated and classy lady. Most times I am the one who initiates intimacy in our marriage. My heart breaks each time I read or hear of women who deny their husbands sex because its an opposite in my case. For more than two months now we've not been intimate. To make matters worse, he prefers to sleep in the sitting room or children's room than in our matrimonial room.

He always pretends to be tired but not too tired to be chatting on whatsapp with friends. I have his password, that is not an issue. I am not suspecting anything even though I'm not totally ruling out the possibility of adultery. He comes back very late in the night unlike before. Infact even when he comes early these days, he will rather stay with friends within the street or house than come inside. Believe me nairalanders, we don't have issues. Infact he keeps saying that God blessed him with a wonderful woman. It's not like I make the house uncomfortable for him. The only communication we have these days is greetings, asking how the day went or few general topics.

I am not a woman who can't do without sex but I just need to be shown affection even if sex is not there. Committing adultery on my own part is IMPOSSIBLE, i will rather opt for divorce. I am so confused, lonely and heartbroken. I love my husband beyond the word LOVE. I just wish he can see the tears in my eyes as I lay lonely on our bed each night. I am very fragile by nature and gets hurt easily. Believe me...this is killing me.

Please, people drop a word or two for a hurting soul.

"RAPE" that husband of yours