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Am I Wasting My Time With This Guy? Pls Help!!!!!! - Romance (5) - Nairaland

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Re: Am I Wasting My Time With This Guy? Pls Help!!!!!! by IamLEGEND1: 10:02am On Jan 08, 2016
Naomite:


U re the type of mistake I alway pray not 2 ever make again. Guys like u don't understand d concept of true love, and guys like u are the reason some girls turn mean. If a guy will not share my happiness, joy, sorroew, pain and even try 2 laugh at my jokes even if they aint dat funny, I guess he isn't trully in love with me. OP, my advicer 4 you is to break up with him and move on, less u'll keep getting hurt by his attitudes.
and you're the type of needy atrocity no guy wishes to commit to in his lifetime.

girls like you don't understand the concept of independence and the evolutionary processes relationships go through. u think everything is supposed to be rosy all through and you're both going to be fawning all over each other all the time like bees.

if you don't accept that someone in a very young relationship can get too caught up in other things that his personal life has to take the back seat for a bit then u should stay single for life.

You will suffocate any guy with ur constant hovering

3 Likes

Re: Am I Wasting My Time With This Guy? Pls Help!!!!!! by AmyBelg(f): 10:03am On Jan 08, 2016
That guy is a Red Flag, it's not easy to move on but think of him flirting with someone esle the way he did to you and you would find the courage.

1 Like

Re: Am I Wasting My Time With This Guy? Pls Help!!!!!! by Cybertext(m): 10:03am On Jan 08, 2016
LadyJul:
Sorry dear... U're just his side chick.. .. I guess he asked you for sex and u refused... . he is already tired of you because sex is the only thing he came for.... Just let go of him if he doesn't change... It gonna be painful but it will be worth it.. .

Gbam!! You took those words straight outta my mind..
Re: Am I Wasting My Time With This Guy? Pls Help!!!!!! by Atlantian: 10:04am On Jan 08, 2016
How do you reason ? He is not your boyfriend, you guys havent bleeped. Who wants virgin anyway.
Re: Am I Wasting My Time With This Guy? Pls Help!!!!!! by broxymall(m): 10:04am On Jan 08, 2016
give him space or it will affect your study
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Re: Am I Wasting My Time With This Guy? Pls Help!!!!!! by AmyBelg(f): 10:05am On Jan 08, 2016
What if the one don't love you back ? Na by force? That speaks desperate.
Cholls:
my sister please don't listen to this advice.



See if you really love this guy don't give up easily on him.

people have to learn how to fight the one they love.
Re: Am I Wasting My Time With This Guy? Pls Help!!!!!! by hadura29(m): 10:07am On Jan 08, 2016
dupsil:
Ohk guys, i would try to make this short and simple. Forgive any grammatical blunder i might make though. thanks
So this is my story, am studying a 5yrs course in the Uni and am in my finals,throughout the previous years i wasnt in a relationship, i was so engrossed with school works so i could graduate with with a good G.P, I pratically didnt have time for myself. it got to a stage that my friends started pressuring me to get a boyfriend, not like i didnt have people who wanted to date me, i just wasnt ready nor interested.
After 400l, during the session break, i was on IT and met this guy where i was working,he was working at the company too as a permanent staff though. he was so nice to me and made me feel special and loved, we saw virtually every day, sometimes after work he would drop me at home and even became friends with my siblings. he asked me out and i agreed to date him, things was going smoothly bt then i had to go back to school.
After about a week in school, his attitude changed, he stopped calling, messaging or even chatting me up, i was the one calling, messaging and chatting him up, anytime i complain about his change of attitude he would say he was just busy with work and apologise bt didnt change. when i saw that he didnt change, i decided not to call him, chat him or even message and see how long it was going to last. for a whole week he didnt call and i had to call him wen i cud no longer take it. he wasnt even remorseful, just said he's bin busy and am wondering how could you be so busy and nt check on someone u claim you really care about, i asked him if he wanted a breakup bt he said no dat he cared abt me and wud change but he still hasnt. am going through so much emotional stress and i dont no what else to do. have never asked for money from him and he's never given me anytin so i kip wondering wat i did wrong, we never had sex too. please i need romancelanders help on this issue,should i just go ahead and break up with him? am in love with him and the thoughts of breaking up hurts badly. To think that my first relationship after so long didnt even last 4month


Run and thank your stars, if he is serious he would come back begging. Go face your project work Kia Kia...
Re: Am I Wasting My Time With This Guy? Pls Help!!!!!! by Nobody: 10:07am On Jan 08, 2016
the thing is his probably not feeling the whole thing anymore possibly due to the distance. The fact that you saw each other everyday was what made it interesting,surely those kinda things fade out. Now he is drifting away naturally.it happens like that at times because i dnt believe a man is ever too busy to check on his gurl. My babe leaves d house 4.30 am because of work distance and hates driving in traffic but once he gets to his office,he msgs me to let me know his @ work. After his morning meeting,he calls me.. We chat during his lunch break,we talk on phone afta close of work because he leaves 8 pm and once his home ,we chat for 15 mins because of work the next day. we bth work but his work is more hectic because he works at the headquarter of a company.. so babe ah dny believe in bin too busy to chat or call ur loved ones.. dont call him too again,let d relationship die a natural death,u wnt feel the same way yu feeling naw by next 2 weeks
Re: Am I Wasting My Time With This Guy? Pls Help!!!!!! by Snoolv360(m): 10:08am On Jan 08, 2016
Dupsil, don't waste your time. move on with your life and get a good person who will always miss you if not seen each for minutes.
Re: Am I Wasting My Time With This Guy? Pls Help!!!!!! by ojuolu(m): 10:09am On Jan 08, 2016
dupsil:
Ohk guys, i would try to make this short and simple. Forgive any grammatical blunder i might make though. thanks
So this is my story, am studying a 5yrs course in the Uni and am in my finals,throughout the previous years i wasnt in a relationship, i was so engrossed with school works so i could graduate with with a good G.P, I pratically didnt have time for myself. it got to a stage that my friends started pressuring me to get a boyfriend, not like i didnt have people who wanted to date me, i just wasnt ready nor interested.
After 400l, during the session break, i was on IT and met this guy where i was working,he was working at the company too as a permanent staff though. he was so nice to me and made me feel special and loved, we saw virtually every day, sometimes after work he would drop me at home and even became friends with my siblings. he asked me out and i agreed to date him, things was going smoothly bt then i had to go back to school.
After about a week in school, his attitude changed, he stopped calling, messaging or even chatting me up, i was the one calling, messaging and chatting him up, anytime i complain about his change of attitude he would say he was just busy with work and apologise bt didnt change. when i saw that he didnt change, i decided not to call him, chat him or even message and see how long it was going to last. for a whole week he didnt call and i had to call him wen i cud no longer take it. he wasnt even remorseful, just said he's bin busy and am wondering how could you be so busy and nt check on someone u claim you really care about, i asked him if he wanted a breakup bt he said no dat he cared abt me and wud change but he still hasnt. am going through so much emotional stress and i dont no what else to do. have never asked for money from him and he's never given me anytin so i kip wondering wat i did wrong, we never had sex too. please i need romancelanders help on this issue,should i just go ahead and break up with him? am in love with him and the thoughts of breaking up hurts badly. To think that my first relationship after so long didn't even last 4month
There is no way a guy will be so busy that he will not have time to call you for a minute in a day. He will eat, bath, sleep, even use the rest room. When did dialing a mobile line become so tedious and so tasking that someone is unable to do it during lunch break, after dinner or first thing in the morning?
Babe, the earlier you let this guy go, the better for you. He doesn't want you any longer. You are seeing his natural,real tendencies. You are really not "that" important to him. If you are his queen to be, not a day will pass without him getting across to you. Allow me to also add that now that you are single is when you have all your pride intact. You deserve all the respect, devotion and attention you can get from a man that CLAIMED to care about you. so Obviously, this one is not giving ANYTHING-no time, no gift, no devotion, no attention...Biko let him go. If he comes begging...with all seriousness...then give it a second thought before allowing him back.
Re: Am I Wasting My Time With This Guy? Pls Help!!!!!! by Mavor: 10:09am On Jan 08, 2016
@OP...."Out of sight, out of mind"...Most guys are not good at handling long distance relationships. Good luck though.
Re: Am I Wasting My Time With This Guy? Pls Help!!!!!! by demarc001: 10:09am On Jan 08, 2016
dupsil:
Ohk guys, i would try to make this short and simple. Forgive any grammatical blunder i might make though. thanks
So this is my story, am studying a 5yrs course in the Uni and am in my finals,throughout the previous years i wasnt in a relationship, i was so engrossed with school works so i could graduate with with a good G.P, I pratically didnt have time for myself. it got to a stage that my friends started pressuring me to get a boyfriend, not like i didnt have people who wanted to date me, i just wasnt ready nor interested.
After 400l, during the session break, i was on IT and met this guy where i was working,he was working at the company too as a permanent staff though. he was so nice to me and made me feel special and loved, we saw virtually every day, sometimes after work he would drop me at home and even became friends with my siblings. he asked me out and i agreed to date him, things was going smoothly bt then i had to go back to school.
After about a week in school, his attitude changed, he stopped calling, messaging or even chatting me up, i was the one calling, messaging and chatting him up, anytime i complain about his change of attitude......... please i need romancelanders help on this issue,should i just go ahead and break up with him? am in love with him and the thoughts of breaking up hurts badly. To think that my first relationship after so long didnt even last 4month

His attitude could mean a lot, it all depends first on his own motive for asking you out. But one striking thing I observe here from your explanation on his part you never mentioned love. Workers - intern relationship involves a lot. A work friend of mine just had a case with a former IT he started dating when she was with us. I will like us to talk more. NB: am already engage preparing for marriage so don't get me wrong.
Re: Am I Wasting My Time With This Guy? Pls Help!!!!!! by otswag(m): 10:10am On Jan 08, 2016
Read btw the lines.The Guy doesnt have the confidence to initiate a break up with u so he is pushing u to be d one to break it off. Move on babe. There's someone else out there who'd treat You better
Re: Am I Wasting My Time With This Guy? Pls Help!!!!!! by IamLEGEND1: 10:10am On Jan 08, 2016
tolutweety:
Truer words have never been said !

Re: Am I Wasting My Time With This Guy? Pls Help!!!!!! by smada13(m): 10:11am On Jan 08, 2016
Ladies shaaa........You people should by now know you are not meant to take ANY guy serious until he proposes... and even after proposal, you're still suppose to keep a 50/50 chance...humans are not meant to be trusted....maybe he was just seeing you as a friend...and I'll put my money on him not having any "positive" plans for you.....

my two cents
Re: Am I Wasting My Time With This Guy? Pls Help!!!!!! by 4C2215131: 10:15am On Jan 08, 2016
Sometimes the yarn folks spin with regards to relationships is just mind boggling, I get dumbfounded sometimes and just...?!

The OP knows the answer to her questions, she's just here in the hope that someone will make her believe in a lie, a lie she knows deep in her heart and of course she'll get that reply from someone.

@OP, the handwriting is on the wall. Jeez! How can you be so obtuse! Well I guess you ain't being in love before so, I understand how difficult it is for you to let go of a mirage. It's about the most powerful emotion on earth, love that is. So if all you're having is sleepless nights over it, you are in good company as others have killed and been killed for and over it.
Re: Am I Wasting My Time With This Guy? Pls Help!!!!!! by Danbam(m): 10:15am On Jan 08, 2016
You guys work together and he wasn't this busy,aw com its now that he's so busy and hardly has ur time. It could only mean one thing

Re: Am I Wasting My Time With This Guy? Pls Help!!!!!! by victree007(m): 10:15am On Jan 08, 2016
dupsil:
Ohk guys, i would try to make this short and simple. Forgive any grammatical blunder i might make though. thanks
So this is my story, am studying a 5yrs course in the Uni and am in my finals,throughout the previous years i wasnt in a relationship, i was so engrossed with school works so i could graduate with with a good G.P, I pratically didnt have time for myself. it got to a stage that my friends started pressuring me to get a boyfriend, not like i didnt have people who wanted to date me, i just wasnt ready nor interested.
After 400l, during the session break, i was on IT and met this guy where i was working,he was working at the company too as a permanent staff though. he was so nice to me and made me feel special and loved, we saw virtually every day, sometimes after work he would drop me at home and even became friends with my siblings. he asked me out and i agreed to date him, things was going smoothly bt then i had to go back to school.
After about a week in school, his attitude changed, he stopped calling, messaging or even chatting me up, i was the one calling, messaging and chatting him up, anytime i complain about his change of attitude he would say he was just busy with work and apologise bt didnt change. when i saw that he didnt change, i decided not to call him, chat him or even message and see how long it was going to last. for a whole week he didnt call and i had to call him wen i cud no longer take it. he wasnt even remorseful, just said he's bin busy and am wondering how could you be so busy and nt check on someone u claim you really care about, i asked him if he wanted a breakup bt he said no dat he cared abt me and wud change but he still hasnt. am going through so much emotional stress and i dont no what else to do. have never asked for money from him and he's never given me anytin so i kip wondering wat i did wrong, we never had sex too. please i need romancelanders help on this issue,should i just go ahead and break up with him? am in love with him and the thoughts of breaking up hurts badly. To think that my first relationship after so long didnt even last 4month
Stick to ur original plan. Stay away from a relationship and all the pain it brings and focus on graduating with a good grade. Hard work has got u where u r right now so don't ruin it now dat u r in ur finals. Relationship is not for everyone in school. This was d same decision I made some years ago in school and it worked perfectly for me. I hope u listen to good counsel eventually.
Re: Am I Wasting My Time With This Guy? Pls Help!!!!!! by doskie(m): 10:15am On Jan 08, 2016
dupsil:
Ohk guys, i would try to make this short and simple. Forgive any grammatical blunder i might make though. thanks
So this is my story, am studying a 5yrs course in the Uni and am in my finals,throughout the previous years i wasnt in a relationship, i was so engrossed with school works so i could graduate with with a good G.P, I pratically didnt have time for myself. it got to a stage that my friends started pressuring me to get a boyfriend, not like i didnt have people who wanted to date me, i just wasnt ready nor interested.
After 400l, during the session break, i was on IT and met this guy where i was working,he was working at the company too as a permanent staff though. he was so nice to me and made me feel special and loved, we saw virtually every day, sometimes after work he would drop me at home and even became friends with my siblings. he asked me out and i agreed to date him, things was going smoothly bt then i had to go back to school.
After about a week in school, his attitude changed, he stopped calling, messaging or even chatting me up, i was the one calling, messaging and chatting him up, anytime i complain about his change of attitude he would say he was just busy with work and apologise bt didnt change. when i saw that he didnt change, i decided not to call him, chat him or even message and see how long it was going to last. for a whole week he didnt call and i had to call him wen i cud no longer take it. he wasnt even remorseful, just said he's bin busy and am wondering how could you be so busy and nt check on someone u claim you really care about, i asked him if he wanted a breakup bt he said no dat he cared abt me and wud change but he still hasnt. am going through so much emotional stress and i dont no what else to do. have never asked for money from him and he's never given me anytin so i kip wondering wat i did wrong, we never had sex too. please i need romancelanders help on this issue,should i just go ahead and break up with him? am in love with him and the thoughts of breaking up hurts badly. To think that my first relationship after so long didnt even last 4month
have you guys bursted nuts? I mean.... has kalamakpain occurred between you and him? that is..... ssexx as you English people say

1 Like

Re: Am I Wasting My Time With This Guy? Pls Help!!!!!! by susuces4all(m): 10:16am On Jan 08, 2016
Him wanted sex from you after which he will dump you be careful not fall , I belive he have close to his heart now
Re: Am I Wasting My Time With This Guy? Pls Help!!!!!! by ourchoice(m): 10:17am On Jan 08, 2016
mobi18:
the thing is his probably not feeling the whole thing anymore possibly due to the distance. The fact that you saw each other everyday was what made it interesting,surely those kinda things fade out. Now he is drifting away naturally.it happens like that at times because i dnt believe a man is ever too busy to check on his gurl. My babe leaves d house 4.30 am because of work distance and hates driving in traffic but once he gets to his office,he msgs me to let me know his @ work. After his morning meeting,he calls me.. We chat during his lunch break,we talk on phone afta close of work because he leaves 8 pm and once his home ,we chat for 15 mins because of work the next day. we bth work but his work is more hectic because he works at the headquarter of a company.. so babe ah dny believe in bin too busy to chat or call ur loved ones.. dont call him too again,let d relationship die a natural death,u wnt feel the same way yu feeling naw by next 2 weeks
She ought to have considered her fellow students or corper....or a working class guy living in the same state where her school is, the guy believes she has a student boo wink
Re: Am I Wasting My Time With This Guy? Pls Help!!!!!! by jamela(f): 10:17am On Jan 08, 2016
dupsil:
Ohk guys, i would try to make this short and simple. Forgive any grammatical blunder i might make though. thanks
After 400l, during the session break, i was on IT and met this guy where i was working,he was working at the company too as a permanent staff though. he was so nice to me and made me feel special and loved, we saw virtually every day, sometimes after work he would drop me at home and even became friends with my siblings. he asked me out and i agreed to date him, things was going smoothly bt then i had to go back to school.
After about a week in school, his attitude changed, he stopped calling, messaging or even chatting me up, i was the one calling, messaging and chatting him up, anytime i complain about his change of attitude he would say he was just busy with work and apologise bt didnt change. when i saw that he didnt change, i decided not to call him, chat him or even message and see how long it was going to last. for a whole week he didnt call and i had to call him wen i cud no longer take it. he wasnt even remorseful, just said he's bin busy and am wondering how could you be so busy and nt check on someone u claim you really care about, i asked him if he wanted a breakup bt he said no dat he cared abt me and wud change but he still hasnt. am going through so much emotional stress and i dont no what else to do. have never asked for money from him and he's never given me anytin so i kip wondering wat i did wrong, we never had sex too. please i need romancelanders help on this issue,should i just go ahead and break up with him? am in love with him and the thoughts of breaking up hurts badly. To think that my first relationship after so long didnt even last 4month

Op sorry to burst your bubble but take a good long look at the bolded. Its obvious this guy wants out. So he meets girls on IT and tries to impress them, then after they leave, he moves on to the next IT girl, don't think you are the first, it wasn't even up to a week before he switched gears and his lack of remorse shows that he does this on the regular and on purpose. Please my advice to you is to forget him and pray for good results,

On a lighter note, I hope he is not the one a woman was texting you about?
Re: Am I Wasting My Time With This Guy? Pls Help!!!!!! by doskie(m): 10:17am On Jan 08, 2016
AmyBelg:
That guy is a Red Flag, it's not easy to move on but think of him flirting with someone esle the way he did to you and you would find the courage.
why the selfie?

2 Likes

Re: Am I Wasting My Time With This Guy? Pls Help!!!!!! by soloyes(m): 10:18am On Jan 08, 2016
I know women will always want to think positive of those they love irrespective of what happens but Its obvious that the guy was nice just so he could get between your legs and now that you have gone back to school he doesn't see the need to maintain the relationship. Its going to be painful but you just have to put yourself together and move on while also thanking God that you didn't fall prey to his charm offensive. He is too busy to call but not too busy to PICK YOUR CALL? My dear run while you still have your dignity intact in his sight.
Re: Am I Wasting My Time With This Guy? Pls Help!!!!!! by 4C2215131: 10:18am On Jan 08, 2016
Adonis3:
Why the heck do people have to quote the whole story to reply

To those of you saying she should forget the guy, I guess you haven't been in love before. If one is in love, even when it seems the other aint in it as you, it'll still be difficult to let go, OP I truly understand ur situation, esp since it's been a while u had a romantic relationship.

Well, what I suggest is you make out time to see and discuss things, not just on phone. You could even go to his office, at least to see what's always keeping him busy, that didn't keep you busy when you were still an intern there.

DON'T have sex with him yet!!

Do NOT seek him out to discuss NADA! Don't be a fool!

Move on with your life! Life is beyond seeing the world through someone else's eyes(your supposed love interest). One thing is for sure, you'll love again.

Face ya book. Focus on other aspects of your life, in due time all will be well. Don't discuss squat with him!
Re: Am I Wasting My Time With This Guy? Pls Help!!!!!! by ajayi1(m): 10:19am On Jan 08, 2016
He is savings himself some heartache. Based on the fact that most people believe uni-girls usually will have their campus boyfriend. So to save himself from the roller-coaster he chooses to pend the relationship till you meet again. He probably tried distance relationship earlier and didn't work out. Especially with a girl in school who could be living with another man in the hostel.

1 Like

Re: Am I Wasting My Time With This Guy? Pls Help!!!!!! by fulfillbill(m): 10:19am On Jan 08, 2016
I think Op is imagining things...Did he really ask you out??
What did he say? cos i can't imagine a guy showing you affection and all of a sudden withrawing it.
Re: Am I Wasting My Time With This Guy? Pls Help!!!!!! by Toks2008(m): 10:19am On Jan 08, 2016
dupsil:
Ohk guys, i would try to make this short and simple. Forgive any grammatical blunder i might make though. thanks
So this is my story, am studying a 5yrs course in the Uni and am in my finals,throughout the previous years i wasnt in a relationship, i was so engrossed with school works so i could graduate with with a good G.P, I pratically didnt have time for myself. it got to a stage that my friends started pressuring me to get a boyfriend, not like i didnt have people who wanted to date me, i just wasnt ready nor interested.
After 400l, during the session break, i was on IT and met this guy where i was working,he was working at the company too as a permanent staff though. he was so nice to me and made me feel special and loved, we saw virtually every day, sometimes after work he would drop me at home and even became friends with my siblings. he asked me out and i agreed to date him, things was going smoothly bt then i had to go back to school.
After about a week in school, his attitude changed, he stopped calling, messaging or even chatting me up, i was the one calling, messaging and chatting him up, anytime i complain about his change of attitude he would say he was just busy with work and apologise bt didnt change. when i saw that he didnt change, i decided not to call him, chat him or even message and see how long it was going to last. for a whole week he didnt call and i had to call him wen i cud no longer take it. he wasnt even remorseful, just said he's bin busy and am wondering how could you be so busy and nt check on someone u claim you really care about, i asked him if he wanted a breakup bt he said no dat he cared abt me and wud change but he still hasnt. am going through so much emotional stress and i dont no what else to do. have never asked for money from him and he's never given me anytin so i kip wondering wat i did wrong, we never had sex too. please i need romancelanders help on this issue,should i just go ahead and break up with him? am in love with him and the thoughts of breaking up hurts badly. To think that my first relationship after so long didnt even last 4month

A man can woo you and even propose marriage but may not really love you.

A man can not say he loves and will not want to hear your voice or communicate with you at least 2 times a week

If you show too much care and attention to a man and he is reciprocating please stop calling no matter how difficult it may be..STOP CALLING OR SHOWING CARE AND AFFECTION TOWARDS HIM...If he really wants you he will sit up.

Let me stop here.
Re: Am I Wasting My Time With This Guy? Pls Help!!!!!! by stevealibi: 10:19am On Jan 08, 2016
jopretty:
My dearie, the guy wasn't in love with you in the first place. Maybe he was after something he couldn't get or people are beginning to whisper some funny stuffs into his ears. I know it hurts but face your books and graduate with a good result Mr. Right/Perfect will come and he'll be head over heels in love with you and treat you like the queen you are.

Na 2day special advicer welldone
Re: Am I Wasting My Time With This Guy? Pls Help!!!!!! by Nobody: 10:19am On Jan 08, 2016
ourchoice:
More especially female students.....no working class guy trust a female student! The guy believes she's seeing some other guys in school....and his friends and colleagues will be telling him so too. So its very hard for a guy who just met you as a student and u denied him intimacy to believe that u love him and that u are not having intimacy with fellow students for free.

If you observe very well nowadays....working class guys avoid going into committed relationship with female students, why? Because guys believe every female student have a student boyfriend who digs her for free while he will be far spending like mugu, that's the painful truth
definitely true!

And that's what is going through my mind when I see a beautiful female student

2 Likes

Re: Am I Wasting My Time With This Guy? Pls Help!!!!!! by Chubhie: 10:20am On Jan 08, 2016
hahn:


Not everyone appreciates what they have irrespective of the level of value
I get you Boss.

1 Like

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