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Am I Wasting My Time With This Guy? Pls Help!!!!!! - Romance (4) - Nairaland

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Re: Am I Wasting My Time With This Guy? Pls Help!!!!!! by davidif: 9:38am On Jan 08, 2016
@OP,
Have you seen the movie "He is just not that into you". Thank goodness Netflix is soon coming to naija, it should be the first movie you ever see.
Re: Am I Wasting My Time With This Guy? Pls Help!!!!!! by IMO22(m): 9:39am On Jan 08, 2016
Everyone's hrt is fickle buddy!!! U wear d shoes, I can't tell u wot to do.
Re: Am I Wasting My Time With This Guy? Pls Help!!!!!! by Hemanwel(m): 9:40am On Jan 08, 2016
OP,the truth is: THAT GUY DOESN'T DIG YOU AT ALL!!
But unfortunately for you,MAYBE the guy who truly cares about you has walked up to you with his "legedizbenz",but because he's still struggling to make ends meet now,you are ignoring him.
cc dupsil
Re: Am I Wasting My Time With This Guy? Pls Help!!!!!! by dayjee2010(m): 9:40am On Jan 08, 2016
He cares about you just a bit insecure cos of the distance...... Nobody is comfortable with long distance relationships
Re: Am I Wasting My Time With This Guy? Pls Help!!!!!! by noblegrex: 9:40am On Jan 08, 2016
Ginaz:
As in eh, I just tire for relationship. Na only advise dem dey advise embarassed
if you're tired of relationships, come to me and I will GIVE YOU REST.
Re: Am I Wasting My Time With This Guy? Pls Help!!!!!! by patrickkkk: 9:40am On Jan 08, 2016
HateU2:
He's not into the distance relationship stuff


Good point!!!!
Re: Am I Wasting My Time With This Guy? Pls Help!!!!!! by durasome(m): 9:42am On Jan 08, 2016
dupsil:
Ohk guys, i would try to make this short and simple. Forgive any grammatical blunder i might make though. thanks
So this is my story, am studying a 5yrs course in the Uni and am in my finals,throughout the previous years i wasnt in a relationship, i was so engrossed with school works so i could graduate with with a good G.P, I pratically didnt have time for myself. it got to a stage that my friends started pressuring me to get a boyfriend, not like i didnt have people who wanted to date me, i just wasnt ready nor interested.
After 400l, during the session break, i was on IT and met this guy where i was working,he was working at the company too as a permanent staff though. he was so nice to me and made me feel special and loved, we saw virtually every day, sometimes after work he would drop me at home and even became friends with my siblings. he asked me out and i agreed to date him, things was going smoothly bt then i had to go back to school.
After about a week in school, his attitude changed, he stopped calling, messaging or even chatting me up, i was the one calling, messaging and chatting him up, anytime i complain about his change of attitude he would say he was just busy with work and apologise bt didnt change. when i saw that he didnt change, i decided not to call him, chat him or even message and see how long it was going to last. for a whole week he didnt call and i had to call him wen i cud no longer take it. he wasnt even remorseful, just said he's bin busy and am wondering how could you be so busy and nt check on someone u claim you really care about, i asked him if he wanted a breakup bt he said no dat he cared abt me and wud change but he still hasnt. am going through so much emotional stress and i dont no what else to do. have never asked for money from him and he's never given me anytin so i kip wondering wat i did wrong, we never had sex too. please i need romancelanders help on this issue,should i just go ahead and break up with him? am in love with him and the thoughts of breaking up hurts badly. To think that my first relationship after so long didnt even last 4month
.he is not just your own. let go of him, thé early the better
Re: Am I Wasting My Time With This Guy? Pls Help!!!!!! by ourchoice(m): 9:43am On Jan 08, 2016
Most sexually active men don't handle long distance relationship so well....they get bored easily in a long distance relationship. And to make it worst, there is nothing to remember for him....no intimacy to fantasize or discuss since you guys didn't have one...and he believe he's wasting time with you...that maybe one student is having sex with you while you are telling him stories.

Most working class guys always have this innate belief that dating a student girl is a waste of time because to them, one student is having sex with the girl free of charge....either because of Indomie...assignment....closeness....exam assistance....little financial assistance, and when you check their fears so well...it is true.

Remember most working class guys passed through school too....so they know what female students do in school...so they hardly believe that a female student isn't getting some sort of intimacy from some random student guys.

Forget what people are saying here.....if you guys had any close intimacy before you went back to school...believe me, the guy wouldn't withdraw this fast.....but he's bored....when you call you ask: how's work...what did u eat today....what are u doing? nothing more....no intimate talks...no emotional talks...no nothing....it bores many guys...especially financially buoyant guys who think they have plenty better option than wasting time with a student far away having fun with some random guys for free.

my little advice: if u are a virgin not ready for intimacy...don't love....don't go into committed relationship....keep only male friends...and be far...don't demand from them....be on your own until you are ready else, u will be heartbroken many times and may end up hating to love. go into a relationship when u know u are ready to give your all without holding back.

So think again and plan well before embarking on your next relationship should this one fail

9 Likes

Re: Am I Wasting My Time With This Guy? Pls Help!!!!!! by nigeriancuban: 9:44am On Jan 08, 2016
u ve been used and dumped.
Re: Am I Wasting My Time With This Guy? Pls Help!!!!!! by Welcomme: 9:45am On Jan 08, 2016
Can u Imagine! I wish I can have a girl lyk u dupsil. The type of karashikas wey I dey meet, na so so to dey ask me for money. But trust a confirm guy lyk me, I dey always play fast one for their head.... Dupsil, move on. Dat guy just want to waste ur time.

1 Like

Re: Am I Wasting My Time With This Guy? Pls Help!!!!!! by jamesbridget13(f): 9:45am On Jan 08, 2016
I advice u let him be. Move on with ur life.
Re: Am I Wasting My Time With This Guy? Pls Help!!!!!! by Fraih(f): 9:47am On Jan 08, 2016
dupsil:
am going through so much emotional stress and i dont no what else to do.
What to do is to Move on with Life, he just needed a Distraction at that point and you happened to be around.
This is your last year in school, thinking too much about Him can give you some headache, much will be demanded from you in this last phase. So let him go and make yourself happy again, do things that interest you and consciously take Him off, He obviously does not want you again.
Re: Am I Wasting My Time With This Guy? Pls Help!!!!!! by blank(f): 9:47am On Jan 08, 2016
Adonis3:
Why the heck do people have to quote the whole story to reply

To those of you saying she should forget the guy, I guess you haven't been in love before. If one is in love, even when it seems the other aint in it as you, it'll still be difficult to let go, OP I truly understand ur situation, esp since it's been a while u had a romantic relationship.

Well, what I suggest is you make out time to see and discuss things, not just on phone. You could even go to his office, at least to see what's always keeping him busy, that didn't keep you busy when you were still an intern there.

DON'T have sex with him yet!!

cool cool cool
Re: Am I Wasting My Time With This Guy? Pls Help!!!!!! by omoTsexy: 9:47am On Jan 08, 2016
likila:
ha ha ha
idiot,
small girl dey worry you.
face your book jare make people wey know road face the real thing.
. U are a FOOL and the said Idiot... I don't even know how people like think. Do u have to insult her... #muron#

1 Like

Re: Am I Wasting My Time With This Guy? Pls Help!!!!!! by Nobody: 9:47am On Jan 08, 2016
The guy was actually not in love but in lust








period
Re: Am I Wasting My Time With This Guy? Pls Help!!!!!! by Okies27(m): 9:48am On Jan 08, 2016
dupsil:
Ohk guys, i would try to make this short and simple. Forgive any grammatical blunder i might make though. thanks
So this is my story, am studying a 5yrs course in the Uni and am in my finals,throughout the previous years i wasnt in a relationship, i was so engrossed with school works so i could graduate with with a good G.P, I pratically didnt have time for myself. it got to a stage that my friends started pressuring me to get a boyfriend, not like i didnt have people who wanted to date me, i just wasnt ready nor interested.
After 400l, during the session break, i was on IT and met this guy where i was working,he was working at the company too as a permanent staff though. he was so nice to me and made me feel special and loved, we saw virtually every day, sometimes after work he would drop me at home and even became friends with my siblings. he asked me out and i agreed to date him, things was going smoothly bt then i had to go back to school.
After about a week in school, his attitude changed, he stopped calling, messaging or even chatting me up, i was the one calling, messaging and chatting him up, anytime i complain about his change of attitude he would say he was just busy with work and apologise bt didnt change. when i saw that he didnt change, i decided not to call him, chat him or even message and see how long it was going to last. for a whole week he didnt call and i had to call him wen i cud no longer take it. he wasnt even remorseful, just said he's bin busy and am wondering how could you be so busy and nt check on someone u claim you really care about, i asked him if he wanted a breakup bt he said no dat he cared abt me and wud change but he still hasnt. am going through so much emotional stress and i dont no what else to do. have never asked for money from him and he's never given me anytin so i kip wondering wat i did wrong, we never had sex too. please i need romancelanders help on this issue,should i just go ahead and break up with him? am in love with him and the thoughts of breaking up hurts badly. To think that my first relationship after so long didnt even last 4month
. Few girls I gave advice to ended up in-btw my sheets☺ so I will just keep my advice to myself. I am a nice guy though...but babe, concentrate on your remaining year and if he doesn't come around some other nice guy will. Good luck
Re: Am I Wasting My Time With This Guy? Pls Help!!!!!! by Hoyehdayg(m): 9:48am On Jan 08, 2016
My dear, RUN! You are the last person on his mind
Re: Am I Wasting My Time With This Guy? Pls Help!!!!!! by TheSpellChecker: 9:48am On Jan 08, 2016
dupsil:
Ohk guys, i would try to make this short and simple. Forgive any grammatical blunder i might make though. thanks
So this is my story, am studying a 5yrs course in the Uni and am in my finals,throughout the previous years i wasnt in a relationship, i was so engrossed with school works so i could graduate with with a good G.P, I pratically didnt have time for myself. it got to a stage that my friends started pressuring me to get a boyfriend, not like i didnt have people who wanted to date me, i just wasnt ready nor interested.
After 400l, during the session break, i was on IT and met this guy where i was working,he was working at the company too as a permanent staff though. he was so nice to me and made me feel special and loved, we saw virtually every day, sometimes after work he would drop me at home and even became friends with my siblings. he asked me out and i agreed to date him, things was going smoothly bt then i had to go back to school.
After about a week in school, his attitude changed, he stopped calling, messaging or even chatting me up, i was the one calling, messaging and chatting him up, anytime i complain about his change of attitude he would say he was just busy with work and apologise bt didnt change. when i saw that he didnt change, i decided not to call him, chat him or even message and see how long it was going to last. for a whole week he didnt call and i had to call him wen i cud no longer take it. he wasnt even remorseful, just said he's bin busy and am wondering how could you be so busy and nt check on someone u claim you really care about, i asked him if he wanted a breakup bt he said no dat he cared abt me and wud change but he still hasnt. am going through so much emotional stress and i dont no what else to do. have never asked for money from him and he's never given me anytin so i kip wondering wat i did wrong, we never had sex too. please i need romancelanders help on this issue,should i just go ahead and break up with him? am in love with him and the thoughts of breaking up hurts badly. To think that my first relationship after so long didnt even last 4month

angry Oh fûck!

Sorry, but I just can't forgive grammatical blunders. It's so much pain to eyes to read. I think you can do better because you were still coherent enough amidst all the numerous blunders.

Alright.

The thing is, in most relationships there's always a party that is so passive about the whole thing and the other party who wants the relationship the more. In this case, obviously it's you. You want it more. So that means it falls on you to do more just to keep the relationship going.

Of course, you can still change all that as long as you can handle the consequences. I believe you already know that, huh?

You can ignore him. You can stop making yourself available to him. You can start dating another guy, maybe, to make him jealous or something. You can also call it quits if you like.

Those are some of the things you can do on your own part.

The rest depends on him.

So it's you against him. Who blinks first? Are you ready to gamble? Game on.

Sorry, if you didn't find my advice meaningful by any means. I check grammar and spellings. I don't check relationships.

There!
Re: Am I Wasting My Time With This Guy? Pls Help!!!!!! by Nobody: 9:49am On Jan 08, 2016
How?
nigeriancuban:
u ve been used and dumped.
Re: Am I Wasting My Time With This Guy? Pls Help!!!!!! by cowgirl9090: 9:49am On Jan 08, 2016
gunpoint:
When i asked you out, did you gree? Ntoor tongue
Nigerians gat no chill cheesy cheesy
Re: Am I Wasting My Time With This Guy? Pls Help!!!!!! by Nobody: 9:50am On Jan 08, 2016
MrDoGood:


He might be thinking different.

Different as in you have another boo in school.

Invite him over and see the difference after the visit.

That will make him stand firm and his position will then be visible in his head.

Guys find it hard to trust girls in distant relationship these days because of what they must have gone through.

My opinion though.
true!

You will be CHEATING and still be telling your distance guy that you love him!

And the way WOMEN behave like parasite nowadays is not something to talk about.

I guess that guy see her as a parasite and she is not making him believe that she is not a parasite

2 Likes

Re: Am I Wasting My Time With This Guy? Pls Help!!!!!! by Ifebazz(m): 9:51am On Jan 08, 2016
Just play along. Get busy, with your books of course. Stop calling too. You will get over him sooner than you think. If he is Finance Minister, it will soon be 4 years and we'll know how busy he truly was.
Re: Am I Wasting My Time With This Guy? Pls Help!!!!!! by tolutweety(m): 9:51am On Jan 08, 2016
IamLEGEND1:
Why can't some people reason well?

just because his interest is wavering doesn't mean it's because she did something wrong or he's seeing someone else.

The problem has always been girls- They have this innate ability to bore guys to death.

Some guys are just better at putting up with that noñsense. but this guy sounds exactly like me.

when the sad realization of the pettiness of the things we always discuss dawns on me, I cut back on the phone calls drastically.

If the only thing you can talk about is what happened during the day or ask each other how u're doing plus all the other usual questions......... that shít gets old pretty fast.

Besides, you're no longer close....wic means you're virtually useless to me until you get back from school. I like to deal in person.

Truer words have never been said !
Re: Am I Wasting My Time With This Guy? Pls Help!!!!!! by ChynoBEATS: 9:54am On Jan 08, 2016
dupsil:

After about a week in school, his attitude changed, he stopped calling, messaging or even chatting me up, i was the one calling, messaging and chatting him up, anytime i complain about his change of attitude he would say he was just busy with work and apologise bt didnt change. when i saw that he didnt change, i decided not to call him, chat him or even message and see how long it was going to last. for a whole week he didnt call and i had to call him wen i cud no longer take it. he wasnt even remorseful, just said he's bin busy and am wondering how could you be so busy and nt check on someone u claim you really care about, i asked him if he wanted a breakup bt he said no dat he cared abt me and wud change but he still hasnt. am going through so much emotional stress and i dont no what else to do. have never asked for money from him and he's never given me anytin so i kip wondering wat i did wrong, we never had sex too. please i need romancelanders help on this issue,should i just go ahead and break up with him? am in love with him and the thoughts of breaking up hurts badly. To think that my first relationship after so long didnt even last 4month

grin bae calm down , stop whynin like my GF cos u sound like her" u dint call back ,u dont call ,not even a text ,am i disturbing u, tell me do u want us to quit, youre not caring "

N I'd still be like Darling I'm BUSY grin















I know its annoying cos almost all my close Female friends complain about the same thing.....













But the truth is.....









BUSY i can't say I am NOT
But ALL the Time? ..is sometimes an Excuse i have to Give "re-phrase in simple English if you dont understand"




2me sorry i mean US "introverts" thats how we Roll grin

Its not as-if we are not Caring but when we are fully occupied ....love has to sit on the Bench"tho we still do check up on it ,cos we cant loose it (when we know we need it) ..











Just be a Jonathan n hv patience















Lolz i feel he's an Introvert ...check am well well

Do the immigration style check up on him.......
grin
Re: Am I Wasting My Time With This Guy? Pls Help!!!!!! by ourchoice(m): 9:55am On Jan 08, 2016
sonofananimal:
true!

You will be CHEATING and still be telling your distance guy that you love him!

And the way WOMEN behave like parasite nowadays is not something to talk about.

I guess that guy see her as a parasite and she is not making him believe that she is not a parasite

More especially female students.....no working class guy trust a female student! The guy believes she's seeing some other guys in school....and his friends and colleagues will be telling him so too. So its very hard for a guy who just met you as a student and u denied him intimacy to believe that u love him and that u are not having intimacy with fellow students for free.

If you observe very well nowadays....working class guys avoid going into committed relationship with female students, why? Because guys believe every female student have a student boyfriend who digs her for free while he will be far spending like mugu, that's the painful truth
Re: Am I Wasting My Time With This Guy? Pls Help!!!!!! by Ginaz(f): 9:55am On Jan 08, 2016
MilesLamar:


See my booboo winkkiss


@opp let him go. No love


Are you toasting me? sad
Re: Am I Wasting My Time With This Guy? Pls Help!!!!!! by oluwasegun007(m): 9:57am On Jan 08, 2016
Although i dont have junior sista, but i'll advise u like i did.


FACTORS THAT MIGHT HAVE MADE HIM CHANGE

1. Friend Factor: Although if he's acting based on this factor, then you should run away from him, reason being that he's not mature enough

2. Family Factor: This is a possible factor, which might be due to; your place of origin e.g igbo,hausa or yoruba (which is contrary to that of the guy), age difference, religion etc

3. Spiritual Factor: This factor is also a possibility. The guy might have gone for spiritual advise on the compatibility btw you two and maybe the outcome do not favour your union.

NB: no mature guy will either face to face or over the phone or any medium whatsoever tell a girl that he's calling it off.

MY ADVISE: For him not to have called you (for a week) under the pretense of being busy is no excuse, therefore i advise you to call it off informally inother to safe your final exam/project

No need to tank me, take it has a New year gift from me
Re: Am I Wasting My Time With This Guy? Pls Help!!!!!! by Modelling(f): 9:57am On Jan 08, 2016
Adonis3:
Why the heck do people have to quote the whole story to reply

To those of you saying she should forget the guy, I guess you haven't been in love before. If one is in love, even when it seems the other aint in it as you, it'll still be difficult to let go, OP I truly understand ur situation, esp since it's been a while u had a romantic relationship.

Well, what I suggest is you make out time to see and discuss things, not just on phone. You could even go to his office, at least to see what's always keeping him busy, that didn't keep you busy when you were still an intern there.

DON'T have sex with him yet!!
Hell NO brother. She should rather stop it there till he shows he is still interested in a more serious way at that. Any further move by her will be a kind of humiliating herself. My dear sister, you have already tried enough, try to retain your remaining respect n thank God if truly u've not had sex with him. He will come looking for you if he is truly yours, face your studies for now and best of luck #myopinion

1 Like

Re: Am I Wasting My Time With This Guy? Pls Help!!!!!! by Chubhie: 9:57am On Jan 08, 2016
Truth is if you are a person of value he won't let you slip off.
Re: Am I Wasting My Time With This Guy? Pls Help!!!!!! by Bidex6444(m): 9:58am On Jan 08, 2016
All I have to tell u is for u to focus more on ur education. I'm a guy and I knw what it means when a guy is telling u that he's busy. Sis, open ur eyes and kick off his a*s. The guy doesn't need or want u maybe u haven't satisfy him with sex or something just be focus and u re still a student so to speak. There re beta options out there.


##Teamnononsense##
Re: Am I Wasting My Time With This Guy? Pls Help!!!!!! by hahn(m): 10:00am On Jan 08, 2016
Chubhie:
Truth is if you are a person of value he won't let you slip off.


Not everyone appreciates what they have irrespective of the level of value

1 Like

Re: Am I Wasting My Time With This Guy? Pls Help!!!!!! by Grandeur24: 10:01am On Jan 08, 2016
dupsil:
Ohk guys, i would try to make this short and simple. Forgive any grammatical blunder i might make though. thanks
So this is my story, am studying a 5yrs course in the Uni and am in my finals,throughout the previous years i wasnt in a relationship, i was so engrossed with school works so i could graduate with with a good G.P, I pratically didnt have time for myself. it got to a stage that my friends started pressuring me to get a boyfriend, not like i didnt have people who wanted to date me, i just wasnt ready nor interested.
After 400l, during the session break, i was on IT and met this guy where i was working,he was working at the company too as a permanent staff though. he was so nice to me and made me feel special and loved, we saw virtually every day, sometimes after work he would drop me at home and even became friends with my siblings. he asked me out and i agreed to date him, things was going smoothly bt then i had to go back to school.
After about a week in school, his attitude changed, he stopped calling, messaging or even chatting me up, i was the one calling, messaging and chatting him up, anytime i complain about his change of attitude he would say he was just busy with work and apologise bt didnt change. when i saw that he didnt change, i decided not to call him, chat him or even message and see how long it was going to last. for a whole week he didnt call and i had to call him wen i cud no longer take it. he wasnt even remorseful, just said he's bin busy and am wondering how could you be so busy and nt check on someone u claim you really care about, i asked him if he wanted a breakup bt he said no dat he cared abt me and wud change but he still hasnt. am going through so much emotional stress and i dont no what else to do. have never asked for money from him and he's never given me anytin so i kip wondering wat i did wrong, we never had sex too. please i need romancelanders help on this issue,should i just go ahead and break up with him? am in love with him and the thoughts of breaking up hurts badly. To think that my first relationship after so long didnt even last 4month

Op, never forget a rule of thumb, " people always make out time for what they prioritize". You are probably not a priority to him, so move on with your life!

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