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My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! - Romance (14) - Nairaland

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Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by Nobody: 3:33pm On Feb 13, 2016
Am sorry,but I didn't waste anymore time reading your trash,so you want to die because a girl dump you?.

Would you be happier if she wed you and one day you found her in bed with another man?

My friend c'mon kneel down and sing halluya,it's obviously that she doesn't love u.
When a woman is fed up,then it's time to let her go.

How old are u?

1 Like

Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by bennymark(m): 3:53pm On Feb 13, 2016
hurting:
Good day all! I never thought I will never create a topic like this because I believed I had a perfect love life. I have to create this moniker just for this topic that has and still eating me deep. I will try to make it as brief as possible.

I have been a relationship for 7yrs with the lady that I love beyond measures. I do anything possible within my reach to satisfy n make her happy. She has also been wonderful and almost perfect (nobody is). We started dating from uni days and where d pride n envy of many even after school.

After my service, I started looking for job but as things get murky in d labour market, I started a little ICT troubleshooting hustle, just to keep body n soul together before d job comes. Now this lady has been supportive all d way, after her service she moved to where am based, we managed what we have. She got a job while I was still doing what I do, I could provide for d daily running around like food, clothing, small bills, etc. I could pay my rent sometimes but atimes my siblings support me. When biz haven't been good.

Now this my lady resigned from where she was working because her female boss wasn't treating them well, tru one of my friends I secured a better paying n welfare job in a construction firm for her. We have been doing fine all this while but when I proposed to her she said we should wait till I get a better paying job. I make an average of 35-40k at d end of month but because I spend on what we need in d house I usually don't have it in bulk at d end of d month. She earns around 80k plus a car. Her new boss gives car loan to all his staff down to d secretary. She is an engineer there. She have been having this fear of lack because of what she faced as a child, so whenever d issue of marriage comes up she says I shld wait till I get a job n when ever her friends or mine wedd she cries n complain that I dnt want to marry her. I have promised her that we can make it with our present earnings n with time I will get that job. I knw I live far better than some married men in terms of finances.

This year I made up my mind to ask her for hand in marriage on vals day, but last week she gave me d shocker of my life, but telling me she had moved on because of my employment status. I have begged like I ave never begged anyone before, telling her that am very sure d job will come before d babies start coming. She told me she has found someone else and that she has made up her mind.

She still loves me, but the job issue I her phobia, dont get me wrong she is very decent n has been faithful all our yrs together. Right now my heart is torn to shreds, I don't sleep at night, I cry every night, I cant eat well, I have lost weight. Am I beginning to scare my self with d kind of suicidal thoughts I have these days. I have built my whole adult life around her, I try to let go but cant.

Pls nairalanders advice me before I do something drastic, I need all the advice I can get, am on job sites 24/7 now just to get something n probably win her back. She is not after riches just d basics. And for those that will lash me, I need it too, it might cheer me a bit.
Pls help a brother.

pls help me push this to FP I need all d advice I could get before its too late for me.

P.S. Sorry for any grammatical blunder n punctuation errors.






If you can get hands on a little capital, no matter how small, contact me and i'll share viable ideas with you on how you can earn funds independent of government intervention, the current economic downturn will only make dreams of securing a job but a fallacy. Try to think outside the box, God has blessed us all with different talents, you might only need to discover yourself. Your talent will make you smile in the face of circumstances. Please take all these reasonable advice from good nairalanders seriously. Don't allow past memories to make you wallow in depression. Saying this out is a very bold step that will help you overcome whatever you are going through. Women are always like that, they come and go, most time it's insecurity on their part, but then it ends up as an emotional betrayal to we the men. They always leave at that moment when you need them most, don't allow that to hold you down. If she is yours, let her go, and she will come right back to you, but then, if yu no longer feel a thing for her and she returns, don't jump on her, use ur head and trust ur instincts, if yu die now, you will just be one among many who fell to depression, you need to stay alive to be a strong man who will make a difference in life. Your kids will love you, and you will be happy you took all these advice. Grow stronger from the pain, never. Let it destroy you. Always try to pick a gud. Lesson from every bad experience, else you will die on ur inside. Don't Spend your years regretin, this will not change the situations. Align your priorities and be a bossman.
God bless!
Benny

2 Likes

Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by Abbey2sam(m): 3:54pm On Feb 13, 2016
hurting:
Good day all! I never thought I will never create a topic like this because I believed I had a perfect love life. I have to create this moniker just for this topic that has and still eating me deep. I will try to make it as brief as possible.

I have been a relationship for 7yrs with the lady that I love beyond measures. I do anything possible within my reach to satisfy n make her happy. She has also been wonderful and almost perfect (nobody is). We started dating from uni days and where d pride n envy of many even after school.

After my service, I started looking for job but as things get murky in d labour market, I started a little ICT troubleshooting hustle, just to keep body n soul together before d job comes. Now this lady has been supportive all d way, after her service she moved to where am based, we managed what we have. She got a job while I was still doing what I do, I could provide for d daily running around like food, clothing, small bills, etc. I could pay my rent sometimes but atimes my siblings support me. When biz haven't been good.

Now this my lady resigned from where she was working because her female boss wasn't treating them well, tru one of my friends I secured a better paying n welfare job in a construction firm for her. We have been doing fine all this while but when I proposed to her she said we should wait till I get a better paying job. I make an average of 35-40k at d end of month but because I spend on what we need in d house I usually don't have it in bulk at d end of d month. She earns around 80k plus a car. Her new boss gives car loan to all his staff down to d secretary. She is an engineer there. She have been having this fear of lack because of what she faced as a child, so whenever d issue of marriage comes up she says I shld wait till I get a job n when ever her friends or mine wedd she cries n complain that I dnt want to marry her. I have promised her that we can make it with our present earnings n with time I will get that job. I knw I live far better than some married men in terms of finances.

This year I made up my mind to ask her for hand in marriage on vals day, but last week she gave me d shocker of my life, but telling me she had moved on because of my employment status. I have begged like I ave never begged anyone before, telling her that am very sure d job will come before d babies start coming. She told me she has found someone else and that she has made up her mind.

She still loves me, but the job issue I her phobia, dont get me wrong she is very decent n has been faithful all our yrs together. Right now my heart is torn to shreds, I don't sleep at night, I cry every night, I cant eat well, I have lost weight. Am I beginning to scare my self with d kind of suicidal thoughts I have these days. I have built my whole adult life around her, I try to let go but cant.

Pls nairalanders advice me before I do something drastic, I need all the advice I can get, am on job sites 24/7 now just to get something n probably win her back. She is not after riches just d basics. And for those that will lash me, I need it too, it might cheer me a bit.
Pls help a brother.

pls help me push this to FP I need all d advice I could get before its too late for me.

P.S. Sorry for any grammatical blunder n punctuation errors.


why wasting your time to win a girl that have already decided to move on without you? bro move on,
ask yourself this questions, would killing yourself stop her from moving on? she might only feel guilty for sometimes thats only if shes got a conscience, and still move on eventually

you mentioned in your post that you've siblings that are been supportive, dont you think they need you alive
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by InvertedHammer: 4:01pm On Feb 13, 2016
/
You dated some lady for 7 years and still living on hope?

The time you would have used to build yourself, you wasted it on building a girlfriend. And because she is a girlfriend, you should have known that there are no guarantees. If this were to be your WIFE, I will be sympathetic to your plight.

Life is full of challenges. It is a survival of the fittest. If you think you cannot live without her...If you think another human being defines who you are....If you think your destiny rests with some lady....well, I wish you safe journey to yonder. Extend my greetings to my ancestors there if you meet them.

/

4 Likes

Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by Nobody: 4:14pm On Feb 13, 2016
Always put yourself first before a woman, women always think about what you have done for them lately. Sadly this is the harsh reality just move on and work harder, though there are nice and loyal babes but that's mostly in theory. No woman wants to struggle with anyone they want a fully developed man ready and set to go.

Besides I find the thought of one killing themselves over a mere woman is disgusting

1 Like

Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by gbogboija: 4:18pm On Feb 13, 2016
I wonder why people come to this place to get advice that is not available. If you kill yourself because of a woman, you will burn seriously when you get to hell fire. Move on with your life and take time to look for a better person. God is not foolish when He created so many of them.
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by Abidayo(m): 4:19pm On Feb 13, 2016
My advice is simple.. Get Rich...If she leaves u cos of not being able to cater well for her den use dt as a force and motivation to be Rich. She will someday wish she stayed only if u have money bro, but if u remain d way u r den she definitely made the smart choice. Dont be a cry baby bro. U wont be the last man and ur definitely not the first. No woman fit leave Aliko Dangote or Mike Adenuga
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by Moz22: 4:20pm On Feb 13, 2016
hurting:
I have sent it na
seen
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by Nobody: 4:24pm On Feb 13, 2016
And here I am looking for someone to love me lipsrsealed lipsrsealed

Some have head but no cap while some have cap but no head
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by Nobody: 4:48pm On Feb 13, 2016
@freecocoa you have my respect, I like the way you talk you and repogirl are unique women. Maybe there's hope for we men.

1 Like

Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by Nobody: 4:50pm On Feb 13, 2016
exthar87:
And here I am looking for someone to love me lipsrsealed lipsrsealed

Some have head but no cap while some have cap but no head


Sadly more damaged men are created, I pray you find someone reasonable, however are you worth the effort ? Will you appreciate the guy despite issues If not more damaged men would be created and the cycle repeats it self again. oruboros

1 Like

Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by repogirl(f): 4:51pm On Feb 13, 2016
pcguru1:
@freecocoa you have my respect, I like the way you talk you and repogirl are unique women. Maybe there's hope for we men.
They say where there's life, there's hope. So I guess there is.

I saw your mention last week but I was under a ban and couldn't reply at the time.

Saw you on IG recently on Larry's profile, you are adding small small, lol.

Hope you've been good?

1 Like

Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by AyamBlaze: 4:53pm On Feb 13, 2016
donsteady:

Miracle would happened let keep our fingers crossed
I need a miracle too. *fingers crossed*
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by Nobody: 4:53pm On Feb 13, 2016
Just the way we have damaged men is the same way we have women

I end up on the wrong side

pcguru1:


Sadly more damaged men are created, I pray you find someone reasonable, however are you worth the effort ? Will you appreciate the guy despite issues If not more damaged men would be created and the cycle repeats it self again. oruboros
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by Nobody: 5:14pm On Feb 13, 2016
repogirl:
They say where there's life, there's hope. So I guess there is.

I saw your mention last week but I was under a ban and couldn't reply at the time.

Saw you on IG recently on Larry's profile, you are adding small small, lol.

Hope you've been good?

What's your IG instance yes oh am adding , sadly also added ass too cry

1 Like

Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by Nobody: 5:16pm On Feb 13, 2016
exthar87:
Just the way we have damaged men is the same way we have women

I end up on the wrong side


Temporarily your own will find you soon. For all you know you might have already met him. All the best
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by repogirl(f): 5:18pm On Feb 13, 2016
pcguru1:


What's your IG instance yes oh am adding , sadly also added ass too cry
Lmao!!

Pejuamadi, that's it.
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by openmine(m): 5:26pm On Feb 13, 2016
@OP...pls let her go...and move on...
ur ex whom u spent 7yrs wit made a total blunder 2 leave u in such a condition....wat if d so called wealthy or comfortable guy dat she is about to marry had a financial crisis or was sacked due to downsizing... won't dat take her down 2 d same pit hole dat she was initially trying avoid wit u....?

Am guessing if u hammer and den make it like d dangote story,she will be d one narrating 2 her peers how she knew u before now..Lol...sum ladies Sha...dey don't know wat dey have until dey lose it...

sum people just don't know wat dey want in life....
my broda move on....keep moving forward...she has made her decision which 4 me was faulty....

there is no point crying or worrying over dat lady..suicide has never and sud never b an option....
U have so much to offer...don't end it just like dat because of a lady who believed in you 'half way'....
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by Icekyng: 5:30pm On Feb 13, 2016
Moz22:
bros can I get ur contact or something?
baba abeg ur contacts too
I av sumtn similar I want to discuss
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by pedrilo: 5:32pm On Feb 13, 2016
sometimes i shake my head for some guys who run after women instead of securing their future.
my ex did same tin to me bak in 2009 wen we both graduated from uni.
she relocated to Europe and forgot abt me, i cried and stayed away from food for days to the point dat i was hospitalized for two weeks
my family supported me to go bak to sch for masters since job no gree come.
but immediately after masters, i got a good job wit six digits salary
and for my ex, she got deported and u wont bliv she is askin me to send her my address. #TUFIAKWA!
o boy send me ur cv make i help ur career.

3 Likes

Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by AmazinJoee(m): 5:58pm On Feb 13, 2016
hahaha...hmmm...ma broda ! ma broda! I smell lust hia from the beginning and not true love. pls read 1 Corinthians 13(all the verse) and you will see what true love is all about. as regards succide ..pls don't try it cus u r not the owner of ur life and there is nothing in ds world tatz worth dying for. cus satan will not give you peace after death.so I advise ma broda lean on Jesus for strength to come back from the emotional trauma and work your ways right with him and you will see ow the Lord will surprise with the right person. All you need to do is to tank God tat it didn't happen when you have taken her for a wife. pls this is the time to put ursef 2geda, work hard and arrange yourself better for the NEXT SWITHEART. REMEMBER,FIR YOU TO MOVE FOWARD FORGIVE ALL HURT. #AMAZINGJOE
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by doublezero7(m): 5:59pm On Feb 13, 2016
OK OP, I know how you feel and I am sincerely sorry about all you've been through! To an extent, I can relate to your experience.

So, while I was preparing for my final exam, my girlfriend and best friend decided to allow the devil to use them... I caught them making out on my bed! The shocker is that they have been doing the shii under my nose... All along!

I found myself in this situation you are in and that period was the hardest of my life! But along the line, I found my destined partner! Someone who went through he'll just to make me happy.... She still does! I have accomplished a whole lot with her by my side!

My point is this, there is a reason for everything! Stop mopping around, get yourself your dream job and along the way, your missing rib will turn up! The bitter truth is that the lady never loved you! Now, you have to pull yourself together and make yourself proud! Don't let your intentions be to prove her wrong (tho, it could serve as motivation) but let your intentions be to make yourself a better person!










And I wasn't going to say this before, but karma is a nasty Lil biitch ....paths would most def cross! Don't make her win the second time! smiley
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by Nobody: 6:27pm On Feb 13, 2016
omron:
Brother, the choice of your girlfriend does not worth your blood, you are a man and whatever happens to man in life should be accepted in good faith, okay let's assume she got married to you and she had an accident and died(God forbid) but what will you do?
Everybody just saying you should leave her and move on its not easy to forget someone you have been together for long I understand your plight but to make the matter easier
Let me ask you some questions
1.do any of her family member knows you?

2.do u any of your own family member knows her and knows you both together?

If yes it would be the best way to solve the issue

Send someone to her to talk to her and the person should let her knows how much you love her from your action and that you could not eat since she broke the news to you
She will feel remorse for you
But if she doesn't then leave her on her own
May be you both are not meant to be together
U know what I mean?
Destiny will take its course
See there are millions better ladies outside there better than her
Killing your self is not an option
If you die she will leave her life and you become a looser.....
While she becomes a winner
And many women will step on your grave
.....
My advice for you still try your luck but if she insist pls and pls don't beg her... She will belittle you.....

Let me share my own past with you..

There was this lady I was dating 6 years back
She loves me so much that at times she sacrifice a lot to make sure I get what I don't have, she is a lady from a rich background and one day she told me it's over
Not that I don't love her but when she told me I accepted it and didn't even go to her doorstep to beg her. I only call her on phone why she decided like that and she said she prefer someone with job to date and I said OK that I wish her well
Today
After 6 years from that time
She is married and am married
But what I have now her husband does not possess.....
I pray God gives u good job
And she will regret later for her Bleep up
Stay calm okay

No wonder the fuel attendant chic fled from you. You want to use her so you don marry.
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by kaybee09(m): 6:38pm On Feb 13, 2016
Decker:
Look bro, first things first. I'll advise that you don't relent in your hard work and search for a job, but you shouldn't make the mistake of doing all this with the mindset of winning your girl back.
To be honest with you, the girl made her decision and she chose someone else, someone more financially capable over you, despite the long way you the both of you had come. It's kind of sad, I know, but it's her choice and she has her reasons. She has told you she has moved on and I think you should too. Things like this happen at some point in our lives and when this kind of things happen, the best thing to do is to just wipe the dust of pain and regret off of you and move on with your life. That girl betrayed your love and friendship, all on the altar of having a better life. That tells a lot about her character and what exactly it is she wants from life. Even if you do win her back, which is highly improbable, what's your guarantee that she won't leave you for someone else in future when the going beings to get tough?

The thing about love is that it makes you think that person you are in love with is the best person out there, but that's not true.
You might think that no one can be as pretty and fun and smart and all those good qualities you admire in her, all in one, but there are actually other girls like that out there, better girls. And out of them, there is one for you. But in other for you to see them, you first have to remove the scales of supposed love from your eyes.
So, stop crying like a baby and get this girl off your mind, free yourself from all the negativity and keep looking for a job and I know you will find one. And when you do find one, work hard to be established in it, and along the line, you will find the right girl who really deserves you.
dis d best piece of advice I have ever read on nairaland. Thumbs man
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by Nobody: 6:40pm On Feb 13, 2016
kaybee09:
dis d best piece of advice I have ever read on nairaland. Thumbs man

Thanks bro.

1 Like

Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by Jimmyo3(m): 6:45pm On Feb 13, 2016
move on she is not your wife, if she is u'll definitely end up with her.
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by petiteee(f): 6:46pm On Feb 13, 2016
andromida:


No wonder the fuel attendant chic fled from you. You want to use her so you don marry.
jesu shocked was it dat gal on FP dat was ranting about that fuel attendant that refused to pick is call coz his mouth smells acohol? Is he the one? Leme check his profile sef
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by adafavy222(f): 6:50pm On Feb 13, 2016
My dear move on with life. You think you will not see a pretty girl,decent like her.is a big lie. Sure you will see far far better. You guys were just friends with benefit. She have never luv you for marriage. The worst thing you can do is to marry a lady that don't luv you, if you she can patient with you. Then there is a problem. What if you have a good job and maybe after 3 yrs you lost your job then she will run. A woman that don't support your dream don't worth you. God listen to the cry of a woman. Once she lov you. God must bless you. But is a gradual steps. So be happen. Take yourself out. You own your self the greatest happiness. Sonnest you will find one. And don't keep up. You will get a job. You are. Not lazy. Unless you are not competent. Sick wisdom. Get skills. Keep upgrading in your field of study. And don't stop applying. Then the job will come.
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by Nobody: 6:51pm On Feb 13, 2016
petiteee:
jesu shocked was it dat gal on FP dat was ranting about that fuel attendant that refused to pick is call coz his mouth smells acohol? Is he the one? Leme check his profile sef

I was shocked! This married man was wailing about a young girl who was protecting her self from a big bad wolf.

1 Like

Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by daillest: 7:03pm On Feb 13, 2016
q
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by 2sex(m): 7:08pm On Feb 13, 2016
pcguru1:
@freecocoa you have my respect, I like the way you talk you and repogirl are unique women. Maybe there's hope for we men.
seriously, freecocoa is a rare gem. I took note of her around 2012 and she has never disappointed. God bless her mother.
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by 2sex(m): 7:15pm On Feb 13, 2016
andromida:


I was shocked! This married man was wailing about a young girl who was protecting her self from a big bad wolf.
please copy his post and handle post it on the thread. What nonsense?

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