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My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! - Romance (12) - Nairaland

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Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by Analysiscorner: 1:12pm On Feb 13, 2016
AfroKnight:
[size=13pt]What really annoys me right now is the OP calling her faithful. angry For crying out loud, she was still in a relationship with you when she clearly told you she had found someone else.

Did the new guy just appear from heaven like that? No! angry

She was playing you for like 2 months or more. You are here calling her faithful. Rubbish. Keep deceiving yourself.

You'd better realize how lucky you are to lose a fairweather girlfriend. Many men made (and still make) this painful discovery after marriage. Thank your creator and move on.[/size]
On point!
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by wristbangle: 1:12pm On Feb 13, 2016
Hurting, I believe enough advice has been given and you know where to start plus the decisions to make that will make yourself and your siblings proud of the man u will become.

Time heals the wound. It hurts a lot right now but don't allow the pain to further pester your goals and objectives in life.

For every gold digging lady, there are more than thousand virtuous ladies waiting to be your wife. Stay focus, keeping praying that God will bless your hustle to get a better job.

Don't beg her again. Whether u like it or not she will live to regret ever leaving you.
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by Nobody: 1:12pm On Feb 13, 2016
Read through the story. No case of infidelity, this nairalander should do the world a favour and off himself. Too many men are soft nowadays in handling simple problems.

The solution to this simple problem is to get rid of this girl. You dummies've dated since uni days. Knowing the Nigerian dating culture it means she's your first girlfriend. Someone whose eaten only watery beans would swear its the best food on earth without a second thought - that's what you're going through.
I know you're still young, tell this woman you need a break for now then date other women. It would shock you to see other girls better than her. Even better when you tell your girl you deserve a break she'd understand and break up with you; that is a favour on her part.

PS. Don't come here telling me of one girl you dated in secondary school or first year of university - real relationships last a couple of years, those types give you training for long term compatibility.

Oya Nairalanders should get ready for the response thread to this. A woman would soon ask 'he told me to give him a break, does that mean its over?'.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by Naijaepic: 1:14pm On Feb 13, 2016
Move on bros, such is the life parable.
Here is a story of someone in your shoes.

Both date for about three to four years. The guy is real hustler, trying to setup one startup business without any breakthrough, when the lady senses that this guy is not going to pull throughout financially in a short run. She quit the relationship, citing similar excuse to your fiance.

Do you what happen after two years later?

Her new fiance just got job interview for a new job opening in the same company her formal boyfriend was trying to setup.
The company is one successful company in US


Moral of the story,

Move on.



hurting:
Good day all! I never thought I will never create a topic like this because I believed I had a perfect love life. I have to create this moniker just for this topic that has and still eating me deep. I will try to make it as brief as possible.

I have been a relationship for 7yrs with the lady that I love beyond measures. I do anything possible within my reach to satisfy n make her happy. She has also been wonderful and almost perfect (nobody is). We started dating from uni days and where d pride n envy of many even after school.

After my service, I started looking for job but as things get murky in d labour market, I started a little ICT troubleshooting hustle, just to keep body n soul together before d job comes. Now this lady has been supportive all d way, after her service she moved to where am based, we managed what we have. She got a job while I was still doing what I do, I could provide for d daily running around like food, clothing, small bills, etc. I could pay my rent sometimes but atimes my siblings support me. When biz haven't been good.

Now this my lady resigned from where she was working because her female boss wasn't treating them well, tru one of my friends I secured a better paying n welfare job in a construction firm for her. We have been doing fine all this while but when I proposed to her she said we should wait till I get a better paying job. I make an average of 35-40k at d end of month but because I spend on what we need in d house I usually don't have it in bulk at d end of d month. She earns around 80k plus a car. Her new boss gives car loan to all his staff down to d secretary. She is an engineer there. She have been having this fear of lack because of what she faced as a child, so whenever d issue of marriage comes up she says I shld wait till I get a job n when ever her friends or mine wedd she cries n complain that I dnt want to marry her. I have promised her that we can make it with our present earnings n with time I will get that job. I knw I live far better than some married men in terms of finances.

This year I made up my mind to ask her for hand in marriage on vals day, but last week she gave me d shocker of my life, but telling me she had moved on because of my employment status. I have begged like I ave never begged anyone before, telling her that am very sure d job will come before d babies start coming. She told me she has found someone else and that she has made up her mind.

She still loves me, but the job issue I her phobia, dont get me wrong she is very decent n has been faithful all our yrs together. Right now my heart is torn to shreds, I don't sleep at night, I cry every night, I cant eat well, I have lost weight. Am I beginning to scare my self with d kind of suicidal thoughts I have these days. I have built my whole adult life around her, I try to let go but cant.

Pls nairalanders advice me before I do something drastic, I need all the advice I can get, am on job sites 24/7 now just to get something n probably win her back. She is not after riches just d basics. And for those that will lash me, I need it too, it might cheer me a bit.
Pls help a brother.

pls help me push this to FP I need all d advice I could get before its too late for me.

P.S. Sorry for any grammatical blunder n punctuation errors.

2 Likes

Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by habsydiamond(m): 1:15pm On Feb 13, 2016
Guy u are a comedian. Do u know maybe its because u two are together that's y u can't get a good job. Two of u may not be compatible. Sometimes when things like this happen. People do think its bad but God knows everything. So bros listen to this. If she is ur wife, she won't marry someone else but u. And if u commit suicide, thousands of olosho's
will spit on ur grave. Be wise

1 Like

Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by henrybomb(m): 1:15pm On Feb 13, 2016
hurting:
Good day all! I never thought I will never create a topic like this because I believed I had a perfect love life. I have to create this moniker just for this topic that has and still eating me deep. I will try to make it as brief as possible.

I have been a relationship for 7yrs with the lady that I love beyond measures. I do anything possible within my reach to satisfy n make her happy. She has also been wonderful and almost perfect (nobody is). We started dating from uni days and where d pride n envy of many even after school.

After my service, I started looking for job but as things get murky in d labour market, I started a little ICT troubleshooting hustle, just to keep body n soul together before d job comes. Now this lady has been supportive all d way, after her service she moved to where am based, we managed what we have. She got a job while I was still doing what I do, I could provide for d daily running around like food, clothing, small bills, etc. I could pay my rent sometimes but atimes my siblings support me. When biz haven't been good.

Now this my lady resigned from where she was working because her female boss wasn't treating them well, tru one of my friends I secured a better paying n welfare job in a construction firm for her. We have been doing fine all this while but when I proposed to her she said we should wait till I get a better paying job. I make an average of 35-40k at d end of month but because I spend on what we need in d house I usually don't have it in bulk at d end of d month. She earns around 80k plus a car. Her new boss gives car loan to all his staff down to d secretary. She is an engineer there. She have been having this fear of lack because of what she faced as a child, so whenever d issue of marriage comes up she says I shld wait till I get a job n when ever her friends or mine wedd she cries n complain that I dnt want to marry her. I have promised her that we can make it with our present earnings n with time I will get that job. I knw I live far better than some married men in terms of finances.

This year I made up my mind to ask her for hand in marriage on vals day, but last week she gave me d shocker of my life, but telling me she had moved on because of my employment status. I have begged like I ave never begged anyone before, telling her that am very sure d job will come before d babies start coming. She told me she has found someone else and that she has made up her mind.

She still loves me, but the job issue I her phobia, dont get me wrong she is very decent n has been faithful all our yrs together. Right now my heart is torn to shreds, I don't sleep at night, I cry every night, I cant eat well, I have lost weight. Am I beginning to scare my self with d kind of suicidal thoughts I have these days. I have built my whole adult life around her, I try to let go but cant.

Pls nairalanders advice me before I do something drastic, I need all the advice I can get, am on job sites 24/7 now just to get something n probably win her back. She is not after riches just d basics. And for those that will lash me, I need it too, it might cheer me a bit.
Pls help a brother.

pls help me push this to FP I need all d advice I could get before its too late for me.

P.S. Sorry for any grammatical blunder n punctuation errors.

Life is a two-way traffic bro,the thought of suicide shud be erased completely from head it is not needed,its not even worth it. If she was truly faithful and stayed with u after all this years but decides to move on,I just tink u shud also move on she has made her choice I know how it feels when the person you love suddenly bids one goodbye but in my own candid opinion continue the hustle u will surely get a good job and also a better girl who will love you for who you are not for what you are...
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by cedargroove: 1:16pm On Feb 13, 2016
Analysiscorner:
On another note, Bro, give not your strength to woman! When you are through with this episode, remember that.

Hmmmm!!!! That's deep.
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by Analysiscorner: 1:17pm On Feb 13, 2016
ecosanders:
this bitches aint loyal at all, am currently in d same mess, though mine was just a year old before she start misbehaving, am seriously hurt right now, but i have to move on, i cant just imagine what i have not done for dis bitch, school fees, accommodation, laptops, phones family expenses etc..

its now she know her boyfriend in abroad have return.

dont kill urself o, she is not worth it.
Take heart, Bro! O ga-adi mma!
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by Nobody: 1:19pm On Feb 13, 2016
2sex:
thanks bro. Well said. It's just pathetic how ungrateful these women are.

When I was growing up the news in town around Lawason. Zamba street was that a certain Ndubisi sponsored a girl from secondary to university level.

After graduating, she came with another guy to introduce to him as her husband to be.

What pain can be measured to that bro. A man toiled day and night to see this girl become better person so his family can have a better future as he didn't go to school. His shop was at the popular mbuka area of Lawanson and he was a family friend.

Women are devils. Quote me anywhere.

Haha. Someone said they aint logical but only emotional.

He was right..

1 Like

Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by abvictory: 1:21pm On Feb 13, 2016
Decker:
Look bro, first things first. I'll advise that you don't relent in your hard work and search for a job, but you shouldn't make the mistake of doing all this with the mindset of winning your girl back.
To be honest with you, the girl made her decision and she chose someone else, someone more financially capable over you, despite the long way you the both of you had come. It's kind of sad, I know, but it's her choice and she has her reasons. She has told you she has moved on and I think you should too. Things like this happen at some point in our lives and when this kind of things happen, the best thing to do is to just wipe the dust of pain and regret off of you and move on with your life. That girl betrayed your love and friendship, all on the altar of having a better life. That tells a lot about her character and what exactly it is she wants from life. Even if you do win her back, which is highly improbable, what's your guarantee that she won't leave you for someone else in future when the going beings to get tough?

The thing about love is that it makes you think that person you are in love with is the best person out there, but that's not true.
You might think that no one can be as pretty and fun and smart and all those good qualities you admire in her, all in one, but there are actually other girls like that out there, better girls. And out of them, there is one for you. But in other for you to see them, you first have to remove the scales of supposed love from your eyes.
So, stop crying like a baby and get this girl off your mind, free yourself from all the negativity and keep looking for a job and I know you will find one. And when you do find one, work hard to be established in it, and along the line, you will find the right girl who really deserves you.
OP, I just felt this is the best advice for you. He has said it all. It's not easy but just try. May God see you through
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by ChiSun27(m): 1:21pm On Feb 13, 2016
cruzita:
this is very serious,bro even as a woman I won't tell u to go back to her or beg her ,listen bro,its time to forget everything and move on ,she didn't see any future with you but another girl will,she feels insecure because of your job,but there is another girl who will accept u the way u are ,so wipe those years,cancel those suicidal thoughts in your mind,man up and take life easy and with time you will be your old self and nature might smile on you .SEE YA



Might.......No!!!......Will....Yes!!!
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by georgylee: 1:25pm On Feb 13, 2016
Work harder and pray.... Good luck....!
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by seangy4konji: 1:25pm On Feb 13, 2016
My Guy if u get job today with shell and marry her if them sack you for just one month she go leave you so make she carry deh go...

That your girl is a hoe and a materialistic hoeee....God save you...

You cant make a hoe a house wife trust me..

Hustle hard man.

1 Like

Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by swiffy(f): 1:32pm On Feb 13, 2016
Similar 2 Mine,same 7yrs.can't believe I can still Move On with life without him but tank goodness 4 everything though still finding it difficult 2 Love again. My advice is try not 2 be idle always keep ur self busy either by spending ur free time with good friends or reading ur bible, will prefer reading ur bible most especially before bed time I believe with dat,U wnt find it difficult 2 sleep at night n will also help U 2 tinkless at night. I knw its a very difficult task cus I can still remember d hell I went tru den,if not 4 God n my Loved Ones. I wuld av been history by now. so just try n 4get about her she does not deserve ur tears. A well deserved person will come ur way God's willing just b strong n wait 4 God's plan 4 U 2 manifest. take care
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by aniblue(m): 1:34pm On Feb 13, 2016
@OP,
I know your experience is painful but u should be thankful to God that such thing is happening now and not after marriage. Be thankful to Nairalanders cos they've given you the best response you needed.

Never beg her to love you or stay with you again, let her go (T D Jakes) at the same time, don't hate her for anything, just forget about her, delete everything about her that may brings back memories, its her decision and you have to respect it and move on, all relationship cannot end in marriage no matter the number of years spent together.

She might love you but she didnt see her future with you, she's only using finance as an excuse. Move on and never plan a revenge, nor temper with your life.

Spend your time with good friends and family who sees greatness in you, read good books and if need be, meet a councellor to talk sense into you.

Keep working hard and seek divine grace, you'l make it. As for your ex, forget about her, sooner or later, she'l missed you, i hope the new guy wont use her as a punch bag.
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by seangy4konji: 1:34pm On Feb 13, 2016
am drinking to your success and deliverance from bondage.

3 Likes

Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by cosmicrayboi(m): 1:34pm On Feb 13, 2016
na suicide site u dey find?

the only help way i fit do now na to find tree for u with some rope

at ur age, u dont still know ladies.
ur own self better,
una don Bleep uncountably, my own be say, she be virgin, i sure. she dey beg me make i break her, but due to the love i have for her, i keep begging and asking her to wait till we get married smtym.
i love her 8tyms more dan you did to that your bae.
i was surprised 1 day way she left and never came again, never picked my calls, never replied my msges, i went to her home to see if she is okay.

lo and behold, i opened the door to see her chilling on the bed with a cool friend of mine..

u see, ur own story is even better

1 Like

Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by Bamz(m): 1:42pm On Feb 13, 2016
Decker,

I felt sad for the OP, but your post lifted my spirit. Great comment mate.

I'm not one for long dates, the longest date I'd have will be the one that leads to marriage.

Shoutout to all those who aren't letting love distract them from their dreams. There is time for everything.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by lottomkyes10(m): 1:47pm On Feb 13, 2016
cruzita:
this is very serious,bro even as a woman I won't tell u to go back to her or beg her ,listen bro,its time to forget everything and move on ,she didn't see any future with you but another girl will,she feels insecure because of your job,but there is another girl who will accept u the way u are ,so wipe those years,cancel those suicidal thoughts in your mind,man up and take life easy and with time you will be your old self and nature might smile on you .SEE YA
very coret bro she was never for u any woman who will not say u yes wen times are turf run for ur life thank your God u have not married her intact do the thanksgiving tomorrow so God will know how thankful you are. just think about it that u went broke some years after wedding hmmm daz me u will have lost her too. God has just save u from bin a divorcee .
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by Nobody: 1:47pm On Feb 13, 2016
ogawisdom:


U ve a job of 40k n she calls u jobless, meanwhile u got her 80k job. By d way hw come u got her a good paying job n can't get one for urself embarassed

Advice: move on n sort ur end first b4 talking abt marriage. D girl is not really as good as u painted her, its jst dt u r blinded by love. She thinks a combined income of 120k can't start a family

She is ahead of u in d dating game n has moved on, learn ur lessons n move on too. If I hear suicide again angry d kind slap way I go give u will surely reboot ur brains

Her own money is not meant to be spent..
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by Nobody: 1:48pm On Feb 13, 2016
Bamz:
Decker,

I felt sad for the OP, but your post lifted my spirit. Great comment mate.

I'm not one for long dates, the longest date I'd have will be the one that leads to marriage.

Shoutout to all those who aren't letting love distract them from their dreams. There is time for everything.

Thanks bro.
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by efficiencie(m): 1:49pm On Feb 13, 2016
She'll live to regret her mentality! The rich and financially balanced guy could become a pauper tomorrow and if he's Dangote there are things that the fattest bank account just can't afford...in the end she'll find that lack in wealth is more terrible than lack itself...Bro, move on! She's not worthy of you. Bear the loss, endure the pain, tread on and the LORD'll be your help...and remember VASHTI must go for an ESTHER to show up...
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by faites(f): 1:51pm On Feb 13, 2016
Justdulla:
Forget crocodile tears and winning her back jare, your matter done dey vex me, are you God? Did you create your condition intentionally? Sha had the audacity to move on without giving a damn simply because Your Alert never soar and your talking of true love my foot, even 2 face when sing true love sef no true.... Dont be blindfolded by emotions and tears wake up man, I bet you in a week or 2 now those tears would stop she go come change hand for you, move on with your lifeshe couldnt stand the heat so she left the kitchen...... If I see you lamenting again, I go flog you koboko


This oga is not smiling o cheesy
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by KangaIye: 1:57pm On Feb 13, 2016
[s]
veraiyke:
Go on and keep approaching her and on val day wich is morrow propose to her like you planned. If she refuses talk to her soul and remind her how far you guys ve come. If she insists tell her u'll never stop loving her n dat she is always welcomed. Also tell her her action may mar ur life n den kiss her n walk away. Just don't think of killing ursef. Just go on struggling for a better job. In fact look for it like neva before n wen u land it pay her a visit and tell her u wanted to know how she's doing. Kaskia. Hard but try
[/s]







The more he beg her, the more he stay long been hurt and heartbroken.
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by kaziblake(f): 2:00pm On Feb 13, 2016
Naughtysite:


Who told you N40,000 cannot manage a home ? btw, how much do you earn ? Hahaha. Stop all this online forming. It is not the amount that matters but how you spend it.

I still live within N50,000 as personal expenses some months and i have 2 cars to maintain.

So tell me, wont his wife contribute her quota to the family upkeep ? Abi N80,000 cannot maintain a family too ?
sir I'm not married and still in school.
It's obvious she met a richer man and she isn't Interested in the guy again.
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by basseybruce01: 2:01pm On Feb 13, 2016
Life goes on.... Que Sera Sera. What would be, will definitely be. Ti Iyawo ba koni, Aya lan feee... Dude, trust me, she's concealing something from you. At times, God would create an unpleasant atmosphere all in order for you to possess the best. Remember, the better is not good enough, the best is yet to come. RANTI O! {TIOBA TORI OBIRIN KAN KU, EGBEGBERUN OBIRIN A KOJA LORI IBOJI E, LAYING CURSES... SHE IS NOT YOUR WIFE!
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by OneManLegion(m): 2:01pm On Feb 13, 2016
swiffy:
Similar 2 Mine,same 7yrs.can't believe I can still Move On with life without him but tank goodness 4 everything though still finding it difficult 2 Love again. My advice is try not 2 be idle always keep ur self busy either by spending ur free time with good friends or reading ur bible, will prefer reading ur bible most especially before bed time I believe with dat,U wnt find it difficult 2 sleep at night n will also help U 2 tinkless at night. I knw its a very difficult task cus I can still remember d hell I went tru den,if not 4 God n my Loved Ones. I wuld av been history by now. so just try n 4get about her she does not deserve ur tears. A well deserved person will come ur way God's willing just b strong n wait 4 God's plan 4 U 2 manifest. take care

See as you fine @DP. What was your ex when he left you?
See smile abeg. You just decide to fine anyhow. Nawa o.
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by kaziblake(f): 2:02pm On Feb 13, 2016
2sex:
yeah... it happens but the ratio is less when compared to what guys experience. don't dare refute it.
I give up.

1 Like

Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by lekonso: 2:02pm On Feb 13, 2016
Hi guy, this your girl never love from the beginning. She has been pretending all along. Boy, let me tell you, any girl that cannot make a sacrifice for you does not love you. You helped to secure a job for a person and to spend part of the money on you is a problem. Forget that girl asap and move on, she is not your wife, period. A girl who cannot invest on you cannot value you, simple. Run for your life and God will give you your own wife.
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by Mskrisx(f): 2:03pm On Feb 13, 2016
hurting:


Thanks bro! I fear she will get over me if I stay clear. I know her very well. And she is also heartbroken, she cries when I call her, as for d dressing, I have a very good dress sense, I kit well n dats one of d reason she loves me.

My dear friend aside telling my father what am gon type here this is the second time I will let it out. I feel u need all the encouragement and examples u can get now.

You see I had a man I dated for 10 months, soon. He told me his travel plans how much he had and how much he needed to complete, since we felt we want to remain together I decided to get want I had and help him cplement his which was over 200k. After that transfer I had just 3 460 as my remaining balance I did not blink an eye lid because I felt I did it for us.. Now what happened after that is history a story for another time.
1. Remember you got her the job when she lost the other
2. You guys dated for seven years according to you
3. She left you because to her u don't have enough money to raise a family so for that she threw everything into the wind and turned her back at you

Now ask yourself God forbids u have an accident or u develop an aliment tomorrow that means she go still leave you abi?

What of u get a good job now and loose it tomorrow wetyn go happn she go begin Bleep around or e go dump you abi?

My guy I understand how this thing feel trust me I have worn same Shoe..dont even bother thinking of killing yourself the only that will happen to you is that you wi be lonely but after that I tell u u will bounce back.

P. S even if she comes begging later when you have the job or not my dear keep your pride,look her in the face and courageously say NO it's not easy but if u can do it she will understand that ur live doesn't revolve around her.

No need begging cus u will beg till eternity. U deserve to be happy and trust me u can get it anywhere. Yes ANYWHERE!
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by KangaIye: 2:06pm On Feb 13, 2016
The truth of the matter is, once you are heartbroken, you find it difficult to love again sad
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by kaziblake(f): 2:07pm On Feb 13, 2016
Justdulla:
Forget crocodile tears and winning her back jare, your matter done dey vex me, are you God? Did you create your condition intentionally? Sha had the audacity to move on without giving a damn simply because Your Alert never soar and your talking of true love my foot, even 2 face when sing true love sef no true.... Dont be blindfolded by emotions and tears wake up man, I bet you in a week or 2 now those tears would stop she go come change hand for you, move on with your lifeshe couldnt stand the heat so she left the kitchen...... If I see you lamenting again, I go flog you koboko
Gbam!!!
I concur...Nobody is worth dying for.

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