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Help Me! I Think My Wife Is A Witch. - Romance - Nairaland

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Help Me! I Think My Wife Is A Witch. by ST305: 2:34pm On Mar 15, 2016
This is not a Joke. I married my woman about 6 months ago. We dated for about 4 months and I married her. She insisted that I marry her otherwise she moves away. And she was my perfect type of woman so I had no choice.

After our wedding she refused to make love on our wedding night. She said she wasn't in the mood for that. I let her be. For 1 month we did not do anything not like I married her for sex but it's unusual I confronted her and she agreed. We started making love normally.

About 2 months later I started having weird nightmares, seeing all sorts in my sleep sometimes I wake up and find myself under the bed. I asked her regarding me under the bed she said I usually roll and fall then roll under the bed. It's sounds funny but it's not a funny experience. For 2 weeks straight it happened consecutively. Then i changed my sleeping position to the wall so I cannot roll off. I still find myself under my bed. This usually happens when we make love. If we don't it doesn't.

She goes to church with me, prays with me and acts normal but sometimes she is not normal at all. It was Last month, I noticed that she Does not use the mirror and yet her make up is perfect, she does not bath with the shower water and she comes out wet. Excuse me, your wife enters the bathroom you do not hear the sound of running water at all and she comes out wet. How is this possible? I'm running mad. She Does not sit in front of a mirror because there is no mirror in our room and she comes out with a beautiful face.

When she sleeps at night, it takes hours for her to wake up. She might sleep 8pm and wake 11am. When she wakes she looks so stressed and tired (someone who is just waking up).

Last 2 weeks, I was to attend a party my friends organized for me to celebrate us. She told me not to go to the party that she won't go. I went alone with the hope of lying to my friends that she called in sick. Because it doesn't make sense. I got to the party it went well but coming back home I was involved in a motor accident though I survived unhurt it was this morning I started to read meanings into all this. Infact on Sunday, she told our house assistant to fetch some box of matches from the nearby shop. The house assistant was yet to come and I saw my wife cooking rice.

I asked her if she has found some matches, she said no. I don't know what came over me I was dumbfounded. How in the world did she light the gas? Without a match. I did not ask her because I am afraid to ask her. It's as if she can read my thoughts. I was planning on a silent divorce with one lawyer I did not tell her yet. She came to me and said i want to divorce her..hw did she know?

Please if I start counting all this tin it will take a whole day. Please I don't know the section to post maybe religion i don't know.

Please is my wife a witch?

18 Likes 7 Shares

Re: Help Me! I Think My Wife Is A Witch. by Nobody: 2:35pm On Mar 15, 2016
its ok
Re: Help Me! I Think My Wife Is A Witch. by Strahovski1(m): 2:35pm On Mar 15, 2016
Lol.

Let me book first and read.

Ok I've read it.

[s]Well, she might not have any supernatural powers you are thinking. Maybe she heard you talking over the phone about the divorce. Maybe she used a traditional way (stones) to light the gas, maybe she likes sleeping and maybe you just roll under the bed[/s]

Now that's bullsh!t.

Your wife obviously has some metaphysical powers. Perhaps she is a member of a witch coven. And witches are harmless creatures. They are servants of nature unless you threaten them. So in my opinion you have nothing to fear.

Instead talk to her. Don't be afraid. She won't hurt you. If truly she has powers convince her to open up and if she opens up, it's a blessing. Yes. You two will now come together to figure how you can exploit those powers. Common your wife can make fire with her hands without a match stick that means she can do anything. If she can make fire come, she can make a $1000 note come too! Lol no pun intended.

Jokes apart, you guys can have anything you want. If she makes invisible water bathe her she can make anything invisible.

She can even read minds omg! Man sell her to me please. I'll pay

I won't tell you to divorce her. Goto church and cast the spirit by fire. Deliverance and all what typical africans will say. I'll tell you to EXPLOIT it.

Get something good out of it. You can even tell her to make them promote you at work. Alot of stuff. She is like your nuclear weapon. Your asset. That is if you pose no threat to her. Man I wish I was in yor position by now I won't be on NL. Damn.

63 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Help Me! I Think My Wife Is A Witch. by falconey(m): 2:39pm On Mar 15, 2016
You will hire a witch hunter.

On a serious note WTF, SHE LOVES YOU SINCE YOU AINT DEAD YET.

Meet pastors o, how is your financial status?

8 Likes

Re: Help Me! I Think My Wife Is A Witch. by Nobody: 2:40pm On Mar 15, 2016
Put cameras all over your house and watch.

43 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Help Me! I Think My Wife Is A Witch. by honeygirl17: 2:41pm On Mar 15, 2016
Hahahaha....good to be back Nairaland is fun! You are asking if your wife is a witch, your wife is the devil himself

19 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Help Me! I Think My Wife Is A Witch. by Nobody: 2:48pm On Mar 15, 2016
ST305:
This is not a Joke. I married my woman about 6 months ago. We dated for about 4 months and I married her. She insisted that I marry her otherwise she moves away. And she was my perfect type of woman so I had no choice.

After our wedding she refused to make love on our wedding night. She said she wasn't in the mood for that. I let her be. For 1 month we did not do anything not like I married her for sex but it's unusual I confronted her and she agreed. We started making love normally.

About 2 months later I started having weird nightmares, seeing all sorts in my sleep sometimes I wake up and find myself under the bed. I asked her regarding me under the bed she said I usually roll and fall then roll under the bed. It's sounds funny but it's not a funny experience. For 2 weeks straight it happened consecutively. Then i changed my sleeping position to the wall so I cannot roll off. I still find myself under my bed. This usually happens when we make love. If we don't it doesn't.

She goes to church with me, prays with me and acts normal but sometimes she is not normal at all. It was Last month, I noticed that she Does not use the mirror and yet her make up is perfect, she does not bath with the shower water and she comes out wet. Excuse me, your wife enters the bathroom you do not hear the sound of running water at all and she comes out wet. How is this possible? I'm running mad. She Does not sit in front of a mirror because there is no mirror in our room and she comes out with a beautiful face.

When she sleeps at night, it takes hours for her to wake up. She might sleep 8pm and wake 11am. When she wakes she looks so stressed and tired (someone who is just waking up).

Last 2 weeks, I was to attend a party my friends organized for me to celebrate us. She told me not to go to the party that she won't go. I went alone with the hope of lying to my friends that she called in sick. Because it doesn't make sense. I got to the party it went well but coming back home I was involved in a motor accident though I survived unhurt it was this morning I started to read meanings into all this. Infact on Sunday, she told our house assistant to fetch some box of matches from the nearby shop. The house assistant was yet to come and I saw my wife cooking rice.

I asked her if she has found some matches, she said no. I don't know what came over me I was dumbfounded. How in the world did she light the gas? Without a match. I did not ask her because I am afraid to ask her. It's as if she can read my thoughts. I was planning on a silent divorce with one lawyer I did not tell her yet. She came to me and said i want to divorce her..hw did she know?

Please if I start counting all this tin it will take a whole day. Please I don't know the section to post maybe religion i don't know.

Please is my wife a witch?
odikwa serious
Whr did u meet her?

2 Likes

Re: Help Me! I Think My Wife Is A Witch. by Nobody: 2:52pm On Mar 15, 2016
Hmmmmm.mm.


Op, if you are saying the truth, then, I will advice you tread carefully and wisely too.


You may divorce her, but, you can never move away from her. She may make your life hell with her powers.


Just pack all your loads, run to a very powerful church.


All the best.

6 Likes 4 Shares

Re: Help Me! I Think My Wife Is A Witch. by greatness22(m): 2:56pm On Mar 15, 2016
Lol, this is what happens when you refuse to pay the bride price of a strong native doctor daughter. cheesy

5 Likes 4 Shares

Re: Help Me! I Think My Wife Is A Witch. by osesology(m): 2:59pm On Mar 15, 2016
So, u go sleep for ur bed den com wake up under bed...chai! make I first laugh small







Seriously, Oga, prayer and fasting is free. If you cant, then I'll advice you to either divorce her or run for your life.

8 Likes

Re: Help Me! I Think My Wife Is A Witch. by Greene66: 3:00pm On Mar 15, 2016
She has powers?

Omo run oooooo. . But look another side.. she can read mind. Hmm abeg I fit rent her? I get one exam next week. Make she read my teacher mind make I know the question he set. Lol I'm serious o. Haha

9 Likes 1 Share

Re: Help Me! I Think My Wife Is A Witch. by AwesomeDuru(m): 3:00pm On Mar 15, 2016
.

33 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Help Me! I Think My Wife Is A Witch. by achinaboy(m): 3:05pm On Mar 15, 2016
first of, stop going to the church you usually go with her, because there is no spirit of God there, sit down and talk with her, although it may be difficult for her to open up to you,

17 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Help Me! I Think My Wife Is A Witch. by MzOnajin1(f): 3:06pm On Mar 15, 2016
Four months courtship, Hmmmmm.
Re: Help Me! I Think My Wife Is A Witch. by Nobody: 3:06pm On Mar 15, 2016
But u are still thinking not that it is confirmed, just continue with ur survey. If this is true, i will only advise u to visit Prophet T.B Joshua or Pastor Odukoya or Pastor Paul Eneche and u will come and greet me later

1 Like

Re: Help Me! I Think My Wife Is A Witch. by ST305: 3:09pm On Mar 15, 2016
falconey:
You will hire a witch hunter.

On a serious note WTF, SHE LOVES YOU SINCE YOU AINT DEAD YET.

Meet pastors o, how is your financial status?

My financial status is ok sir. At least for now. I haven't had any issue money wise

5 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Help Me! I Think My Wife Is A Witch. by ST305: 3:13pm On Mar 15, 2016
bardella1:
odikwa serious
Whr did u meet her?

We met in a bank. It was raining and she was stranded so I gave her a lift back home. We exchanged numbers and from there. .

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Help Me! I Think My Wife Is A Witch. by Merryglad(f): 3:13pm On Mar 15, 2016
Hahahahahhahahahahaha....you should be happy, you don marry super wowan......this one is an asset

6 Likes

Re: Help Me! I Think My Wife Is A Witch. by ST305: 3:14pm On Mar 15, 2016
achinaboy:
first of, stop going to the church you usually go with her, because there is no spirit of God there, sit down and talk with her, although it may be difficult for her to open up to you,

Thanks sir
Re: Help Me! I Think My Wife Is A Witch. by 400billionman: 3:14pm On Mar 15, 2016
Robo skata, rababa kopo sekete ribo.

Brother, you need Jesus.

3 Likes

Re: Help Me! I Think My Wife Is A Witch. by Marlvin(m): 3:17pm On Mar 15, 2016
Is this another episode of the movie 'Wizard of Oz ?

3 Likes

Re: Help Me! I Think My Wife Is A Witch. by Strahovski1(m): 3:18pm On Mar 15, 2016
Hey man, It's alright.

Not about church here. Take advantage of her powers. I sent you a pm man. Check

ST305:


Thanks sir

4 Likes

Re: Help Me! I Think My Wife Is A Witch. by ST305: 3:19pm On Mar 15, 2016
Strahovski1:
Hey man, It's alright.

Not about church here. Take advantage of her powers. I sent you a pm man. Check


I'm concerned about this. It's not some fun stuff that I can take advantage of. I don't know sincerely. I'll check d pm

1 Like

Re: Help Me! I Think My Wife Is A Witch. by ST305: 3:20pm On Mar 15, 2016
No sir
Marlvin:
Is this another episode of the movie 'Wizard of Oz ?
Re: Help Me! I Think My Wife Is A Witch. by Ray360: 3:20pm On Mar 15, 2016
hahahahahahahahah!!! the part you said you roll under the bed is funny . forgive me. hahahahahaha!!

6 Likes

Re: Help Me! I Think My Wife Is A Witch. by Nobody: 3:20pm On Mar 15, 2016
Don't confront about the divorce yet. Go to a strong man of God and do free deliverance and please do a family prayer she may be in for good or worst peace

4 Likes

Re: Help Me! I Think My Wife Is A Witch. by 400billionman: 3:24pm On Mar 15, 2016
Only God can help you.

BUari cannot help you. EFCC can't.

Osinbade cannot help you.

Brother, PRAY !

2 Likes

Re: Help Me! I Think My Wife Is A Witch. by 400billionman: 3:27pm On Mar 15, 2016
Ray360:
hahahahahahahahah!!! the part you said you roll under the bed is funny . forgive me. hahahahahaha!!

grin
Re: Help Me! I Think My Wife Is A Witch. by ST305: 3:34pm On Mar 15, 2016
Thanks for your contributions
Re: Help Me! I Think My Wife Is A Witch. by flowdonjazzy(m): 3:36pm On Mar 15, 2016
This is serious bro,if this is what am thinking you are getting down with a succubus!!!! undecided

2 Likes

Re: Help Me! I Think My Wife Is A Witch. by Ray360: 3:37pm On Mar 15, 2016
400billionman:


grin
bro, I wanted to advise him, but I just couldn't contain the laughter. imagine a full-fledged man rolling under the bed like a cylindrical log of wood. hahahaha.. oboy. Mr Op, Your wife is from the metaphysical world.

9 Likes

Re: Help Me! I Think My Wife Is A Witch. by Ray360: 3:38pm On Mar 15, 2016
400billionman:


grin
bro, I wanted to advise him, but I just couldn't contain the laughter. imagine a full-fledged man rolling under the bed like a cylindrical log of wood. hahahaha.. oboy. Mr Op, Your wife is from the metaphysical world.

1 Like 1 Share

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