dulux07:
Funny how ladies feel a guy doesnt love them cos he complains about their weight. " he should love me the way i am" continue deceiving yourself. I guess doctors hate fat people too.
And besides the lady benefits more from loosing weight than the partner who complains.

That's not the case here, I think people are saying this because he placedt he condition of marriage on her weight. Its what he said he wouldn't do that is making people doubt his love.

Apitch:
As much as I avoid this kind of thread but I have to write here. Op and others looking for emotional advice on NL are making a big mistake cos we have a lot of sadist n bitter people around, also some others reason with sentiment n bias so please sieve what u read
Op personally I love ur sincerity and I commend u for that, u said he told u that u are not as beautiful as u were before n that means he met u a slim babe so please get back ur shape, again u said u are trying ur best but let me tell u that ur best isn't doing u much good, get serious and make it a priority please, and finally for those telling u that he doesn't love u with all assurance without even knowing the guy, I just laugh at their ignorance.
The truth is everyone in love should fight for what they want and leave the ego thing out for those who enjoy staying single or divorced
Daalu nu

The way d guy went about was wrong, be sincere, there are many ways he can tell her to watch her weight without comparing her to another girl or making her feel bad about herself.


I have always been health conscious n try to eat healthy too, buh the was a time I let go of myself n added, not really much ( buh then I was kinda depressed), ma fiance got me skipping rope and registered us in a gym(both of us), I got the message he's trying to pass, and I took it upon myself to loose weight for us, buh he was supportive, never compared me to anyone or make me feel bad. Even when he traveled n stayed long, in the morning if he calls me, he will be: 'baby where are u, snap lemme see' that was his way of making sure I followed up.

PS: wasn't up to that weight n I have flat tummy.

sas91:
Pls I need your honest opinion on this matter , i'm a lady with an average height and weighing 70kg, my fiance always complain about my weight and I know I'm trying my best working on it. But this time around he compared me with my friend and said my friend has a better body structure than I, that i'm not more beautiful as I used to be and that if I want to be his wife then I must Slim down. And so many things I can't even mention. He finally asked if I am ready to do all he wants.
my fear is did he truly love me? what if I Slim down now and even get fatter after giving birth to a baby, wld he then hate me so much? i'm confused and scared of going on with the relationship, Pls I need advice from experienced people.

Madam u're too fat!
QED!

YorubaWoman:
Emi o gboyinbo o.

Ki la n ba ka
Okunrin to ba nife eyan kosi gbogbo pe o ti sanra ju, lo reduce wetii e, mi sure pe ma ma mu o re ode
Ko tie ni wo nkankan rara, ki lan pe ni ife latokan wa

Awa 84kg gan, won si nbe wa ka ma reduce. Awa ga na
Abi eyin na ma nfa bi igbin ni
E ma nro bi eni to ti dade ni joun
Abi ijewuru leyin na to je pe gbogbo mindinmindin le nda losi ona ofun
E gbera kan mo, ko sife larin yin

Your relationship is more of physical. No love!

dear, you've communicated only with the Yorubas and not nairalanders. I know you are trying to be original and showcase ur language prowess, but please consider others. Next time, I had appreciate if you communicate with us all. Thanks!

Oliviaarims:
Hmm...she weighs 70. I weigh 75 and I'm not anywhere close to being fat...never been fat.

To ur issue... It's very probable ur fiance is looking for an excuse to do away with u. If u've always been fat from the time he met u,I see no reason why he should be addressing it in this manner now. And yea,u're right. Maybe he's fallen out of love with u,so even if u trim down for him,there's no guaranteeing that he won't find other ways to fault u.n

But for a start,try to shed off some fat and see what happens after that.

Your weight in number can be deceiving. A person that looks sooo fat might weight less while someone lepacious might weigh more. Dem say na bone dey cause am.

jamex93:
If ur eyes are still functioning u should d able to see that the relationship is coming to an end

I'm sure you do not mean physical eyes because physical eyes can't see this one oo.

Maximus85:


Your weight in number can be deceiving. A person that looks sooo fat might weight less while someone lepacious might weigh more. Dem say na bone dey cause am.

U are very right, ppl with big bone weigh more, doesn't matter if u slim or fat.


I weigh more than ma frnds n they are fatter than me.

believed in ur self

KashyBaby:




I'll skip that "find that special someone" ...I'm too busy doing nothing to look for someone..

Yes, Nigerian men are too sweet..I have so many friends i met in Malaysia, Indonesia & Thailand but nothing special..

seem like love has been unfair to u..I understand where u are coming from tho..I dnt give a fvck about marriage my self..I was only pulling ur legs

swaggprofessor:
She isn't asking for how to maintain a relationship but her marriage so if u don't have a reasonable advice u can kindly shut da fvck up

They aren't married yet. He asked her to lose weight and other conditions before she becomes his wife.

If ur partner can't love for who you are or how you look, den I don't think u both r meant to be!

A genuine partner should be proud of u n always remind u in *Bruno Mars voice that " U are amazing jez d way u are"

We all have got our beta half trust me, He isn't urs

Untainted007:


You said some guys dont like fat ladies!!!!! Was he blind before asking her out or was she forced on the guy. The guy is looking for a silly excuse jare.

My dear Op, the guy is not urs, if he loves you he's meant to support you on how to look slimmer not to condemn you or compare you with someone. If u force yourself to do his will, there's no how u will not add weight in the future if u av the trait in your blood and he will always complain. Never go against ur will to please anynody at ur own detriment. I'm not saying u shud not work out on ur stature but not to please someone who dont appreciate what he has.

Maybe she was slim.then

sas91:
Pls I need your honest opinion on this matter , i'm a lady with an average height and weighing 70kg, my fiance always complain about my weight and I know I'm trying my best working on iii.But this time around he compared me with my friend and said my friend has a better body structure that i'm not more beautiful as I used to be and that if I want to be his wife then I must Slim down. And so many things I can't even mention.
He finally asked if I am ready to do all he wants.
Chacteristics of an it is what I want so leave it that way man.my fear is did he truly love me?
what if I Slim down now and even get fatter after giving birth to a baby, wld he then hate me so much? i'm confused and scared of going on with the relationship, Pls I need advice from experienced people.

[quote author=sas91 post=44021670]Pls I need your honest opinion on this matter , i'm a lady with an average height and weighing 70kg, my fiance always complain about my weight and I know I'm trying my best working on it.

Very good your working on it atleast for health sake.

But this time around he compared me with my friend and said my friend has a better body structure than I,

Characteristics of a future cheater.

that i'm not more beautiful as I used to be

Loves your body more than your qualities.

and that if I want to be his wife then I must Slim down. And so many things I can't even mention.
Characteristics of a selfish man.

He finally asked if I am ready to do all he wants.
Chacteristics of an it is what I want so leave it that way man.

my fear is did he truly love me?
Only you go ask yourself that question.

what if I Slim down now and even get fatter after giving birth to a baby, wld he then hate me so much? i'm confused and scared of going on with the relationship, Pls I need advice from experienced people.

Are u sure he aint fantasizing about hw to sleep wit ur frnd? Why the comparison(even saying it boldly to ur face),wat happened to covering ur ugly side with d gud side,must evrybody be slim,dnt u hav gud qualities ur frnd doesnt have?..pls be urself,if he takes a bow today,another man who wil appreciate u wil come(husband aint scarce) so stop worrying/trying to change whom u're because of a man who might not evn marry u at the end..love/marriage shouldnt totally base on physical attribute

So who go marry we the fat ones? Let me try and reduce to 120 sha

KashyBaby:
Ur man is only attracted with u physically...why he can't accept u juz the way u are? But anyway, juz do ur best to lose weight.. get motivated to all those negative things he had said, once u get ur ideal body weight plz punch him on his face.. jk...

attracted to....

btw, he should accept her the way she is? wow! like you ladies accept guys the way they are? he wants the best for her and himself, maybe he has been using indirect ways to tell her to shed weight, she isnt listening.....hence the out burst.
besides, if he accepts her the way she is and they finally get married, after the first kid, he wud have to expand all the doors in the house to accommodate his super sized/extra large momma!

no need punching anybody, we all know ladies wud always fall into fat thereafter no matter how many weight they lose at the moment.

fairheven:


loving her for who she is ? as in been fat is her destiny

the good news is that she is making an effort to downsize and the man should be appreciative of that

well been fat is indeed a curse

even though am not fat being fat is not a curse neither is it a blessing.

sweetetlove:
sister pls hit the gym

Abeg,she chop too much.

hope4charles:

You all talking as if you guys don't understand the physic of a man, a man is moved by what he sees a woman is moved by what she hears, me personally I don't like fat women because it comes with a lot of its difficulties and side effects, I will first see ur features and lust after it and when I see ur characters and those inward good things I will then fall in love, so sister all those saying that the guy is after ur body are basically deceiving you, u better hit the gym and look trendy and trim, so that guy won't be shy working around with u, we all want the best.

dude the fact is since you don't like fat ladies you'll look for a slim lady and be sure she'll not turn fat once she starts giving birth, what happened to I LOVE THE WAY YOU ARE.?

swaggprofessor:
She asked for an advice n not a complain. I even doubt if you know anything abt marriage

professor tell me more about marriage please i will like to know

Chommieblaq:

The way d guy went about was wrong, be sincere, there are many ways he can tell her to watch her weight without comparing her to another girl or making her feel bad about herself.


I have always been health conscious n try to eat healthy too, buh the was a time I let go of myself n added, not really much ( buh then I was kinda depressed), ma fiance got me skipping rope and registered us in a gym(both of us), I got the message he's trying to pass, and I took it upon myself to loose weight for us, buh he was supportive, never compared me to anyone or make me feel bad. Even when he traveled n stayed long, in the morning if he calls me, he will be: 'baby where are u, snap lemme see' that was his way of making sure I followed up.

PS: wasn't up to that weight n I have flat tummy.

I never wrote anything about the guy cos it makes no sense when he can't read it, I only advised the lady based on her own side of the story
But on the issue of the guy, he didn't go about it the right way based on her write up but have we considered how else he must have tried it in the past, have we considered if the guy was getting frustrated by the weight gain, a lot of assumptions that I wish not to stress my small brain over cos it's a sided story n I don't judge
Finally, please who is in a perfect relationship? Who hasn't said or done detrimental things in their relationship or vice versa? So should I advice she leaves her 5yrs relationship to a real man who is imperfect for an ideal perfect man? Her choice

@sas91 70kg is not dat bad,( my opinion).
Der are ladies out der hu luk slim but hv heavy bones and de weigh much more.
Kip calm and trust God for som1 hu loves & appreciate God's beautiful creation (u).


Btw....kip fit.
Hpy easter in ad.

Look here Op, my simple advice for you is to hit the gym. We naija guys just want you ladies to be trendy, we can put on our suits, pants and a pair of shoe to look perfectly great.

But for ladies, below the brea*t downward especially the waist is indeed a GREAT ASSET. it should be trimmed and ensure it's super attractive 24/7

Op,I can't find your picture, how do u want me to judge between you and your fiance.

VenusBetty:
dude the fact is since you don't like fat ladies you'll look for a slim lady and be sure she'll not turn fat once she starts giving birth, what happened to I LOVE THE WAY YOU ARE.?

i love the way u are not coming in 2 my house and going bloated like bloatware after few years, lol. The problem with alot of women is that they don't want to retain the initial stature due to i have arrivied syndrome which pisses men off, imagine walkn with her and people askin u is this u mother? Make them beyounce, tiwas weight role model at least they have given birth too and retained their stature1

sas91:
Pls I need your honest opinion on this matter , i'm a lady with an average height and weighing 70kg, my fiance always complain about my weight and I know I'm trying my best working on it. But this time around he compared me with my friend and said my friend has a better body structure than I, that i'm not more beautiful as I used to be and that if I want to be his wife then I must Slim down. And so many things I can't even mention. He finally asked if I am ready to do all he wants.
my fear is did he truly love me? what if I Slim down now and even get fatter after giving birth to a baby, wld he then hate me so much? i'm confused and scared of going on with the relationship, Pls I need advice from experienced people.

Nigerian girls... looking like football since Adam ....

Toks2008:


I once created a thread about this.
https://www.nairaland.com/2567000/amazing-diverse-beauty-women-photo

Excerpts:
Every woman is excellently beautiful no matter how she looks.

I believe that every man on earth will have his specification as regards how he wants his lady to look and if you are a lady reading this,im very positive that you will fit into one of these body structures and if you look closely, you will see that each of these ladies are beautiful in their own different ways.

I know some guys that will never go for a slim lady while some will prefer skinny ones.I also have a brother who will never touch slim ladies so the good news is that no matter how you look,there is a man out there who will love you just the way you are.

Don't allow any man manage you, talk down on you or make you feel second best because of your body structure and the first duty you owe yourself is loving yourself the way you are and when you try to keep fit,don't do it for any man but only do it to maintain good health.

bro, you missed the point here. her weight is not the issue, her weight CHANGE is... as we can clearly understand that the lady put on weight, as she is saying herself that "she is trying her best to work on that".

so the important question IS: if a man is attracted to a woman because of her mind/character AND physical appearance, should he continue and pretend to "still" be physically attracted to her if/when her appearance changes (to a level that is clearly unacceptable to him)?

The comments are annoying so because he tells her to loose weight means he doesn't love her abi? there are somethings me I also can't take we all have tastes and difference. No matter how I love a woman the love diminishes when she does somethings I don't like. so it's berra u hit the gym and lose weight and if he changes continue your relationship,if he doesn't abeg quit

Maximus85:


Your weight in number can be deceiving. A person that looks sooo fat might weight less while someone lepacious might weigh more. Dem say na bone dey cause am.

So,I've been told.

sas91:


people that know me said i'm not fat, nor Slim just average but having the tendency of becoming fat, another problem with me
I know is I don't have a flat tummy.

not having a flat tummy is probably the reason he see you as being fat. I have almost the same weight as you, but I have a very flat tummy. if you are the type that eats junks, stop them entirely work on your self the best way you can. while you are at it, don't allow him to make you develop low self esteem; carry your self with courage and confidence because you are wonderfully and beautifully made.

pweetychyka:
If ur partner can't love for who you are or how you look, den I don't think u both r meant to be!

A genuine partner should be proud of u n always remind u in *Bruno Mars voice that " U are amazing jez d way u are"

We all have got our beta half trust me, He isn't urs

Lol. Not really. Fattness is pretty not okay. There's nothing like someone looking fit. It gives joy. I can't marry a fat woman.

[quote author=sas91 post=44021670]Pls I need your honest opinion on this matter , i'm a lady with an average height and weighing 70kg, my fiance always complain about my weight and I know I'm trying my best working on it. But this time around he compared me with my friend and said my friend has a better body structure than I, that i'm not more beautiful as I used to be and that if I want to be his wife then I must Slim down. And so many things I can't even mention. He finally asked if I am ready to do all he wants.
my fear is did he truly love me? what if I Slim down now and even get fatter after giving birth to a baby, wld he then hate me so much? i'm confused and scared of going on with the relationship, Pls I need advice from experienced people. [/quote

He's an ass. You know what? Exercise, diet, lose weight. Work on your self esteem (because from your post, I think you have some issues there). Finally,dump his sorry ass.