₦airaland Forum

mizlolar:
Please i need ur help. Am having challenges in area of relationship. I have the problem of ending up with men who are nothing but gold diggers. They seem good from the start but before a few months, they will turn into pests.

I dont know what is responsible for this. I just need a man who ll love me on the basis of who i am not what i have. I am from a well to do family, I am the only daughter of my parents and my dad is late, I actually inherited quite a lot and initially it seemed like a blessing until I got older.

All the Guys i ve met so far re fake displaying fake love just to get hold of what is in my possession. I will give you a little insight so you can understand what I am going tru. Around 2013, my then fiance kidnapped himself and because i already knew he was too needy and then their was a lot of inconsistencies in the story so i ignored the kidnappers who were demanding for 700k ransom. The guys showed up 2 weeks later fuming without any injuries or even shedding any weight


sorry about what u seem 2 b going tru babe...some guys r jst plain silly nd shameless...can i know u...can we chat on whatsapp..if u care 2 know am doing ok myself..u can check my prfl if u want 2

He was ranting and saying all sorts like how wicked i was and how i abandoned him to die. I had to break it off immediately because he was beginning to sound like i was his mother and father joined together. The next relationship went quite the same way.


The guy sold my car and came up with stories of how he was robbed at onipanu by palm-grove. unfortunately for him, i had a tracker which had its own inbuilt battery, so when they disconnected the car battery thinking they have disabled the tracker, they gaffed. the car was subsequently tracked down to shagamu at a hotel managed by his cousin. these are just the few recent ones.

There are many more experiences that i wouldn’t bother you with but I am tired. the worst is that some will even want to move in with me because of the comfort of my place. Its really frustrating. My mum said i should stop driving but its nearly impossible for me to get around lagos without a car.


I simply stopped using the big cars and got a Toyota matrix and i even had to drive myself so it dosnt look like i am the one attracting the wrong men and scaring away the good ones yet i haven’t been lucky.


I am not looking for a millionaire, I just want a man with a little dignity and value not the ones who will start demanding for loans or come up with stories within months of how their visa was stuck or how their mother was diabetic and needed money for blood transfusion. I have heard a lot of such stories and i am tired.


I dont know if my mum is right that i am scaring away the right ones with my lifestyle. Honestly, i dont even live flamboyantly neither do I club. I am in my early 30’s and i really need to settle down.


Plz help me with ideas on how to stop attracting gold digging shameless men. As at now, 4 guys re on my neck including head of admin in my firm but they are all my subordinates and I don’t want a scandal. Thank u.

Please advice. I don't need abuse from you guys... Thanks

DragonReborn:
You seem genuinely worried, so I'll play nice. Most 'successful' ladies confuse confidence/self-assurance with pride. You may be unconsciously exuding a pompous vibe that men find off putting. I once asked a lady why she didn't pick my calls and she said she wasn't in the mood to talk, I asked why she didn't just say so and she said she couldn't be bothered. I stopped calling and she called one day to demand what the problem was, as she hadn't done anything wrong. Watch how you carry yourself and the way you talk to people. Also assess the kind of guys you are attracted to. Most hard-working guys don't have time to do fancy haircuts, wear tight blazers with those funny looking pencil trousers and suede loafers you girls love so much. If you like those kind of boys, probability is he's either a yahoo boy, a YBNL wey no sabi sing or a student. If you want to meet responsible men, then go were responsible men are, its that simple.

mizlolar:
Please i need ur help. Am having challenges in area of relationship. I have the problem of ending up with men who are nothing but gold diggers. They seem good from the start but before a few months, they will turn into pests.

I dont know what is responsible for this. I just need a man who ll love me on the basis of who i am not what i have. I am from a well to do family, I am the only daughter of my parents and my dad is late, I actually inherited quite a lot and initially it seemed like a blessing until I got older.

All the Guys i ve met so far re fake displaying fake love just to get hold of what is in my possession. I will give you a little insight so you can understand what I am going tru. Around 2013, my then fiance kidnapped himself and because i already knew he was too needy and then their was a lot of inconsistencies in the story so i ignored the kidnappers who were demanding for 700k ransom. The guys showed up 2 weeks later fuming without any injuries or even shedding any weight


He was ranting and saying all sorts like how wicked i was and how i abandoned him to die. I had to break it off immediately because he was beginning to sound like i was his mother and father joined together. The next relationship went quite the same way.


The guy sold my car and came up with stories of how he was robbed at onipanu by palm-grove. unfortunately for him, i had a tracker which had its own inbuilt battery, so when they disconnected the car battery thinking they have disabled the tracker, they gaffed. the car was subsequently tracked down to shagamu at a hotel managed by his cousin. these are just the few recent ones.

There are many more experiences that i wouldn’t bother you with but I am tired. the worst is that some will even want to move in with me because of the comfort of my place. Its really frustrating. My mum said i should stop driving but its nearly impossible for me to get around lagos without a car.


I simply stopped using the big cars and got a Toyota matrix and i even had to drive myself so it dosnt look like i am the one attracting the wrong men and scaring away the good ones yet i haven’t been lucky.


I am not looking for a millionaire, I just want a man with a little dignity and value not the ones who will start demanding for loans or come up with stories within months of how their visa was stuck or how their mother was diabetic and needed money for blood transfusion. I have heard a lot of such stories and i am tired.


I dont know if my mum is right that i am scaring away the right ones with my lifestyle. Honestly, i dont even live flamboyantly neither do I club. I am in my early 30’s and i really need to settle down.


Plz help me with ideas on how to stop attracting gold digging shameless men. As at now, 4 guys re on my neck including head of admin in my firm but they are all my subordinates and I don’t want a scandal. Thank u.

Please advice. I don't need abuse from you guys... Thanks

Tabh:
I can relate with this, I know that feeling. You could just be yourself and don't expect too high. There are still genuine men that would love you for you. Keep searching if you so much want marriage.

SIRTee15:
Sorry o......
But how come?
U were 23 yrs this Feb and 2 months later early 30s.....
Are u a blogger.....
Abeg go find something better to do

mizlolar:
Please i need ur help. Am having challenges in area of relationship. I have the problem of ending up with men who are nothing but gold diggers. They seem good from the start but before a few months, they will turn into pests.

I dont know what is responsible for this. I just need a man who ll love me on the basis of who i am not what i have. I am from a well to do family, I am the only daughter of my parents and my dad is late, I actually inherited quite a lot and initially it seemed like a blessing until I got older.

All the Guys i ve met so far re fake displaying fake love just to get hold of what is in my possession. I will give you a little insight so you can understand what I am going tru. Around 2013, my then fiance kidnapped himself and because i already knew he was too needy and then their was a lot of inconsistencies in the story so i ignored the kidnappers who were demanding for 700k ransom. The guys showed up 2 weeks later fuming without any injuries or even shedding any weight


He was ranting and saying all sorts like how wicked i was and how i abandoned him to die. I had to break it off immediately because he was beginning to sound like i was his mother and father joined together. The next relationship went quite the same way.


The guy sold my car and came up with stories of how he was robbed at onipanu by palm-grove. unfortunately for him, i had a tracker which had its own inbuilt battery, so when they disconnected the car battery thinking they have disabled the tracker, they gaffed. the car was subsequently tracked down to shagamu at a hotel managed by his cousin. these are just the few recent ones.

There are many more experiences that i wouldn’t bother you with but I am tired. the worst is that some will even want to move in with me because of the comfort of my place. Its really frustrating. My mum said i should stop driving but its nearly impossible for me to get around lagos without a car.


I simply stopped using the big cars and got a Toyota matrix and i even had to drive myself so it dosnt look like i am the one attracting the wrong men and scaring away the good ones yet i haven’t been lucky.


I am not looking for a millionaire, I just want a man with a little dignity and value not the ones who will start demanding for loans or come up with stories within months of how their visa was stuck or how their mother was diabetic and needed money for blood transfusion. I have heard a lot of such stories and i am tired.


I dont know if my mum is right that i am scaring away the right ones with my lifestyle. Honestly, i dont even live flamboyantly neither do I club. [s]I am in my early 30’s [/s]and i really need to settle down.


Plz help me with ideas on how to stop attracting gold digging shameless men. As at now, 4 guys re on my neck including head of admin in my firm but they are all my subordinates and I don’t want a scandal. Thank u.

Please advice. I don't need abuse from you guys... Thanks

mizlolar:
This is a long one so grab a comfy chair and some popcorn. Please stick with me though as i am feeling so lost right now and really need some solid advice and a large range of various perspectives.

[Please note that i'm at work right now so if i make a few errors then sorry lol.]

So let me start with a little about myself. Im 23. female. 5 ft 7. In fairly good shape(curvy). Easy on the eyes. I am in my very first long term relationship and we are about to celebrate our 1 year anniversary on Feb 6th. My boyfriend is 25. Male (obviously lol). Also easy on the eyes. Very innocent and a real gentleman. He's a real sweetheart! I've been looking forward to a day he'll take me to see his parents.

We have been very happy together. Weve had our ups and downs but nothing too serious has really threatened our relationship，until now (atleast from my perspective).... Before we get into the heat of the discussion，just know that i was a very confident and secure individual. I trusted my boyfriend whole heartedly and i felt as though nothing could ever threaten “us”. That facade has broken and has left me weak and somewhat feeble. A shadow of my former self-assured character.

So on the Monday night just past (it is currently Thursday afternoon) my boyfriend，his best friend his workmate and his workmates girlfriend and I decide to drink and go night clubbing/dancing. We pre-drink and then head to the clubs. We drink and dance and at one point (1am?) the other couple fight and go home. So now its just my boyfriend，his best friend and myself. This is where it got weird...
We're on the dance floor when my boyfriend he's got something to tell me. He says “my ex-gf is coming to meet up and hang out with us soon，just thought you should know，you're alright with it ok?”. Bleep no i wasnt alright with it，like wtf man. I told him that，and he said it would be fine. So i was like whatever，maybe this is normal? (keeping in mind that this is my first long term bf).

Anyway so we move clubs and she shows up [about 23/5.9ft/skinny and way beautiful more than me. around 60kg]and talks to my bf and his mate and ignores me for a solid 10 seconds until i introduce myself. I squeeze harder than normal when shaking her hand，and look her square in the eyes. she squeezes a little hard but i overpower her. She also averts her gaze (i won that battle! Haha). I give them a chance to catch up by going to pee for a few minutes. When i come back inside we chat awkwardly. This lasts for 30 seconds and she goes silent so i just start dancing to the music to get over the awkward silence that follows. she then walks off somewhere. At this point my bf tells me that hes going to dance. So i follow him out and it turns out she was going to dance with him... What. The. Bleep. At this point she sees me，and tells the guys she leaving. Good riddence...

So the night carries on as normal，only i keep questioning in my head on wtf just happened. This is when i think i started to become paranoid and obssessive. These qualities slowly manifested from that point on that night，to what it is now. Anyway，back to the story.
As the night continued，i notice my bf acting a little strange. Every time i went to hold his hand，he'd hold it weakly and then shake my hand off. I kept testing and he'd keep doing it. I then noticed he'd start to avoid my kisses to the point where id go for a kiss，and he'd fully turn away so id get his cheek. he even pushed me off him once. Finally，hed been avoiding any and all eye contact for the rest of the night. Thats when i knew something was up.

When we got home and settled into bed，i told about how i was feeling. he got angry and said “whats wrong with that” and “you met your ex boyfriend the other day!” (this was at a gathering of my friend group of where he just happened to be，because we're from the same friend group). We had a big fight and he made me feel like i was in the wrong. He said i needed to just let it go because they were just friends. I sit there dumb founded feeling like i was an absolute fool for bringing it up. He then goes to sleep.
At this point i start freaking out as，while we were fighting， he told me her ex gf was from secondary school and that their break up was “mutual”. They were together for close to 4 years and i feel like they were high school sweathearts. I also suspect she lost her virginity to him.

Anyway， i was lying there next to my drunk sleeping boyfriend when i decided to read his texts. Turns out they had been texting on and off since August 2015 (she initiated first contact). They had also been meeting up whenever his ex gf was in town. (my bf ex-gf lives in a different city). The worst part was that They actually went and got a “drink” (at a bar) every time. A couple of times they even meet up at a club. This happened all without my knowing and i honestly cant believe that ive just found out this weekend. Reading those texts felt like someone was trying to yank my heart out of my chest. The realisation that your bf has been doing this is one of the most painful things ive ever been through. Id rather break my arms.

Now what gets me most about these texts is that he didnt even make a mention of me at all. One night that they were texting，was a night we were at a family event. The ex gf asked my bf what he was doing. Instead of saying “im at my gfs family event”，he just said “im drinking at a friends place”. Noticing that he was texting his ex-gf without mentioning me was absolutely gut wrenching.
I asked him yesterday if he had seen him any other times other than last monday. And i said “you would tell me if you have right babe?”. He denied any other times he met him. I knew he was lying so i just said “i trust that you would tell me babe” and left it at that. I asked him about it again today and he just got angry and said “are we going to fight about this again”. Again i left it alone but tonight im gathering the courage to finally bring it up and tell him about reading his texts and that i know he's been lying to me.

Is this a good idea? What can i do? Should i just leave it alone? Does he have feelings for his ex gf? Is he cheating on me?
Please please please help me out here. I dont know what to do and the paranoia and obssession is starting to take over my life. My heart is just telling me to move past it and keep loving him(LOve his so much). But my head is telling me to back off and get out know before that heart gets ripped out and torn to shreds.
I really appreciate any help or advice here and i really appreciate you sticking with me until now. Im so lost and in a heap of pain at the moment....

I really need this to hit the front page cos I registered on this site because of this issue so I can seek advice

NikitaNike:
Meet my handsome boy. He doesn't need money just ribbena and u 2 will be lovers 4ever

foreveryours:
How are u longest time. How's school

Eaa247:
Don't tell me u believe ds cooked up story!

adaweezy:
Fallacious reasoning, when did looking good in fitted Clothing Become a crime?

BlessedFellow01:
I'm In A Very Confused State Right Now. Matured Minds Should Pls Help by mizlolar(f): 1:51pm On Feb 04



Fellow NLanders. Please compare and contrast both post from OP before drawing conclusions. Her age increases at a rate I am unable to understand. From 23 in February 2016 to early 30's in May 2016.

egike:
better still contact me ,am available .
you scared if you will attract the right guy for marriage or relationship cos of your wealth. same way me here is scared to get a good girl to marry cos i don't wanna regret any action i will take for a life time.let's talk more send me a mail elechijosh@gmail.com.
serious no play

Stelvin101:
If only broke men approach you for marriage then get rich, marry a broke man and make him rich. Period! I don't want to hear one more complain from you, not when you are not Dangote's daughter or that of Mike Adenuga. Next plz

DragonReborn:
You seem genuinely worried, so I'll play nice. Most 'successful' ladies confuse confidence/self-assurance with pride. You may be unconsciously exuding a pompous vibe that men find off putting. I once asked a lady why she didn't pick my calls and she said she wasn't in the mood to talk, I asked why she didn't just say so and she said she couldn't be bothered. I stopped calling and she called one day to demand what the problem was, as she hadn't done anything wrong. Watch how you carry yourself and the way you talk to people. Also assess the kind of guys you are attracted to. Most hard-working guys don't have time to do fancy haircuts, wear tight blazers with those funny looking pencil trousers and suede loafers you girls love so much. If you like those kind of boys, probability is he's either a yahoo boy, a YBNL wey no sabi sing or a student. If you want to meet responsible men, then go were responsible men are, its that simple.

mizlolar:
Please i need ur help. Am having challenges in area of relationship. I have the problem of ending up with men who are nothing but gold diggers. They seem good from the start but before a few months, they will turn into pests.

I dont know what is responsible for this. I just need a man who ll love me on the basis of who i am not what i have. I am from a well to do family, I am the only daughter of my parents and my dad is late, I actually inherited quite a lot and initially it seemed like a blessing until I got older.

All the Guys i ve met so far re fake displaying fake love just to get hold of what is in my possession. I will give you a little insight so you can understand what I am going tru. Around 2013, my then fiance kidnapped himself and because i already knew he was too needy and then their was a lot of inconsistencies in the story so i ignored the kidnappers who were demanding for 700k ransom. The guys showed up 2 weeks later fuming without any injuries or even shedding any weight


He was ranting and saying all sorts like how wicked i was and how i abandoned him to die. I had to break it off immediately because he was beginning to sound like i was his mother and father joined together. The next relationship went quite the same way.


The guy sold my car and came up with stories of how he was robbed at onipanu by palm-grove. unfortunately for him, i had a tracker which had its own inbuilt battery, so when they disconnected the car battery thinking they have disabled the tracker, they gaffed. the car was subsequently tracked down to shagamu at a hotel managed by his cousin. these are just the few recent ones.

There are many more experiences that i wouldn’t bother you with but I am tired. the worst is that some will even want to move in with me because of the comfort of my place. Its really frustrating. My mum said i should stop driving but its nearly impossible for me to get around lagos without a car.


I simply stopped using the big cars and got a Toyota matrix and i even had to drive myself so it dosnt look like i am the one attracting the wrong men and scaring away the good ones yet i haven’t been lucky.


I am not looking for a millionaire, I just want a man with a little dignity and value not the ones who will start demanding for loans or come up with stories within months of how their visa was stuck or how their mother was diabetic and needed money for blood transfusion. I have heard a lot of such stories and i am tired.


I dont know if my mum is right that i am scaring away the right ones with my lifestyle. Honestly, i dont even live flamboyantly neither do I club. I am in my early 30’s and i really need to settle down.


Plz help me with ideas on how to stop attracting gold digging shameless men. As at now, 4 guys re on my neck including head of admin in my firm but they are all my subordinates and I don’t want a scandal. Thank u.

Please advice. I don't need abuse from you guys... Thanks

mizlolar:
Please i need ur help. Am having challenges in area of relationship. I have the problem of ending up with men who are nothing but gold diggers. They seem good from the start but before a few months, they will turn into pests.

I dont know what is responsible for this. I just need a man who ll love me on the basis of who i am not what i have. I am from a well to do family, I am the only daughter of my parents and my dad is late, I actually inherited quite a lot and initially it seemed like a blessing until I got older.

All the Guys i ve met so far re fake displaying fake love just to get hold of what is in my possession. I will give you a little insight so you can understand what I am going tru. Around 2013, my then fiance kidnapped himself and because i already knew he was too needy and then their was a lot of inconsistencies in the story so i ignored the kidnappers who were demanding for 700k ransom. The guys showed up 2 weeks later fuming without any injuries or even shedding any weight


He was ranting and saying all sorts like how wicked i was and how i abandoned him to die. I had to break it off immediately because he was beginning to sound like i was his mother and father joined together. The next relationship went quite the same way.


The guy sold my car and came up with stories of how he was robbed at onipanu by palm-grove. unfortunately for him, i had a tracker which had its own inbuilt battery, so when they disconnected the car battery thinking they have disabled the tracker, they gaffed. the car was subsequently tracked down to shagamu at a hotel managed by his cousin. these are just the few recent ones.

There are many more experiences that i wouldn’t bother you with but I am tired. the worst is that some will even want to move in with me because of the comfort of my place. Its really frustrating. My mum said i should stop driving but its nearly impossible for me to get around lagos without a car.


I simply stopped using the big cars and got a Toyota matrix and i even had to drive myself so it dosnt look like i am the one attracting the wrong men and scaring away the good ones yet i haven’t been lucky.


I am not looking for a millionaire, I just want a man with a little dignity and value not the ones who will start demanding for loans or come up with stories within months of how their visa was stuck or how their mother was diabetic and needed money for blood transfusion. I have heard a lot of such stories and i am tired.


I dont know if my mum is right that i am scaring away the right ones with my lifestyle. Honestly, i dont even live flamboyantly neither do I club. I am in my early 30’s and i really need to settle down.


Plz help me with ideas on how to stop attracting gold digging shameless men. As at now, 4 guys re on my neck including head of admin in my firm but they are all my subordinates and I don’t want a scandal. Thank u.

Please advice. I don't need abuse from you guys... Thanks

mizlolar:
Please i need ur help. Am having challenges in area of relationship. I have the problem of ending up with men who are nothing but gold diggers. They seem good from the start but before a few months, they will turn into pests.

I dont know what is responsible for this. I just need a man who ll love me on the basis of who i am not what i have. I am from a well to do family, I am the only daughter of my parents and my dad is late, I actually inherited quite a lot and initially it seemed like a blessing until I got older.

All the Guys i ve met so far re fake displaying fake love just to get hold of what is in my possession. I will give you a little insight so you can understand what I am going tru. Around 2013, my then fiance kidnapped himself and because i already knew he was too needy and then their was a lot of...

mizlolar:
Please i need ur help. Am having challenges in area of relationship. I have the problem of ending up with men who are nothing but gold diggers. They seem good from the start but before a few months, they will turn into pests.


Please advice. I don't need abuse from you guys... Thanks

mizlolar:
Please i need ur help. Am having challenges in area of relationship. I have the problem of ending up with men who are nothing but gold diggers. They seem good from the start but before a few months, they will turn into pests.

I dont know what is responsible for this. I just need a man who ll love me on the basis of who i am not what i have. I am from a well to do family, I am the only daughter of my parents and my dad is late, I actually inherited quite a lot and initially it seemed like a blessing until I got older.

All the Guys i ve met so far re fake displaying fake love just to get hold of what is in my possession. I will give you a little insight so you can understand what I am going tru. Around 2013, my then fiance kidnapped himself and because i already knew he was too needy and then their was a lot of inconsistencies in the story so i ignored the kidnappers who were demanding for 700k ransom. The guys showed up 2 weeks later fuming without any injuries or even shedding any weight


He was ranting and saying all sorts like how wicked i was and how i abandoned him to die. I had to break it off immediately because he was beginning to sound like i was his mother and father joined together. The next relationship went quite the same way.


The guy sold my car and came up with stories of how he was robbed at onipanu by palm-grove. unfortunately for him, i had a tracker which had its own inbuilt battery, so when they disconnected the car battery thinking they have disabled the tracker, they gaffed. the car was subsequently tracked down to shagamu at a hotel managed by his cousin. these are just the few recent ones.

There are many more experiences that i wouldn’t bother you with but I am tired. the worst is that some will even want to move in with me because of the comfort of my place. Its really frustrating. My mum said i should stop driving but its nearly impossible for me to get around lagos without a car.


I simply stopped using the big cars and got a Toyota matrix and i even had to drive myself so it dosnt look like i am the one attracting the wrong men and scaring away the good ones yet i haven’t been lucky.


I am not looking for a millionaire, I just want a man with a little dignity and value not the ones who will start demanding for loans or come up with stories within months of how their visa was stuck or how their mother was diabetic and needed money for blood transfusion. I have heard a lot of such stories and i am tired.


I dont know if my mum is right that i am scaring away the right ones with my lifestyle. Honestly, i dont even live flamboyantly neither do I club. I am in my early 30’s and i really need to settle down.

This is my number 08064960150 call me, Aminu yusuf is my name, from Borno state.
Plz help me with ideas on how to stop attracting gold digging shameless men. As at now, 4 guys re on my neck including head of admin in my firm but they are all my subordinates and I don’t want a scandal. Thank u.

Please advice. I don't need abuse from you guys... Thanks

hibiscus76:
It's because like charges repel while unlike charges attract..stick to one broke man and help his life to help yours