₦airaland Forum

Some people are too afraid (or is it emotionally immature) to open their hearts to another. You can never really 'connect' with them. Once your closeness or intimacy starts to grow to a certain level, they just turn cold and shut you out for no reason. Its frustrating. What's more? The harder you try to show them that you really care, the more they give you the cold shoulder (as in very chilled shoulder). Relationships with such people actually go nowhere.

Sometimes the cause might be the individual's belief ( false belief) that they're inherently 'unworthy' of love. It actually scares the living daylight out of them to open up their hearts to recieve they love they need. Being abused as a child can also produce such result in some people. Also witnessing one of their parents cheat\abuse the other can also make them morbidly afraid of trusting members of the opposite sex. At other times its just the plain stupidity and immaturity of the person. Bottom line: relationships with such people are never fulfilling. And its not your job to fix them.

I will suggest: talk to him again, make him understand how his actions hurt you. Give him another chance. If he doesn't change after that, then pull the plug on the relationship. Your happiness is paramount.

nikkyharry:
I did that by calling him nd texting and he reciprocated buh suddenly start to ignore

UntiL I Hear The Guys Own Side Of The Story I Won't Say Nothing Cos i Know Nigerian Girls When It Comes To Calling

Some pple cannot just read in between the lines. Nawa

HARDDON:
Im @ work!
What time zone r u on ?

Btw, name iz Don.

Short for Donald?

HARDDON:
Aiit!

U wano hear a lil life stjory?

Yea wouldn't mind

Plaintainboy:
Does he gamble or uses drugs? Its either he is not feeling you or he has a problem. If he kisses you in the mouth when you are together then chances are that he likes you but has some personal problem, hence his erratic behaviour.
Its not easy to tell girls that I don't dig them (in my personal experience and it happens often with me) I just try to avoid communications with them...but I act nice when they catch me in a tight corner. But I tell you one thing, I would Never kiss a girl I dont dig. So it may be the sign that you should look for.

He does more than kissing sef. Things that would make u think a nigga is madly in love , he doesn't use drugs buh he smokes nd I don't think DAT can affect

Masterclass32:
Some people are too afraid (or is it emotionally immature) to open their hearts to another. You can never really 'connect' with them. Once your closeness or intimacy starts to grow to a certain level, they just turn cold and shut you out for no reason. Its frustrating. What's more? The harder you try to show them that you really care, the more they give you the cold shoulder (as in very chilled shoulder). Relationships with such people actually go nowhere.

Sometimes the cause might be the individual's belief ( false belief) that they're inherently 'unworthy' of love. It actually scares the living daylight out of them to open up their hearts to recieve they love they need. Being abused as a child can also produce such result in some people. Also witnessing one of their parents cheat\abuse the other can also make them morbidly afraid of trusting members of the opposite sex. At other times its just the plain stupidity and immaturity of the person. Bottom line: relationships with such people are never fulfilling. And its not your job to fix them.

I will suggest: talk to him again, make him understand how his actions hurt you. Give him another chance. If he doesn't change after that, then pull the plug on the relationship. Your happiness is paramount.

True

My dear, the guy is tired of you

sleeknick:
Em preek don cut n e no know how to tell u...

a clown u are!

Mskrisx:
a clown u are!

and also with you my sister

Dat Guy Doesn't Love U... If He Loves U, He Will Squeeze Out Time To Call U No Mata How Busy He Is... I Hav Experienced Dat Too And Each Time I Complain To Him, He Will Be Givin Me One Silly Excuse... All For Him To Text Me One Day Dat We Should End D Whole Tin because Is Nt Workin Out.. I Didn't Feel Bad Or Quarrel Him because I Saw It Comin And He Called Sum Days Later To Apologize And Commend Ma Maturity 4 Nt Pickin Up Quarrel Wit Him Afta All He Did... And I Told Him *Guy Na Ur Life I No Fit Force U*... We Re Friends Nw

[s]

fumisko:
Babe I can relate. I had someone like that I used to like. All nice n all for one one two months...chat all through...calls n all...then he withdraws...n am confused:...does it mean he doesn't miss the time we shared and all that... Bottom line is I still can't explain it o.....but some men are immature and commitment phobic and some don't even know what is doing them. Try to fall in love with another man Abeg so u get ur attention off him. It's obvious u love him more than he loves u. And that's why there is this warning to ladies. Never ever love a man much more than he loves u. If not u r d one Dt wld b hurt. We are emotional beings...don't b deceived by his coming Bk n leaving...he is doing it Cus it isn't hurting him...infact he doesn't feel he is doing anything wrong. He loves u 30% u love him 70%
Run for your life or ur marriage wld b in shambles

[/s]

[s]

zeezeegal:
Dat Guy Doesn't Love U... If He Loves U, He Will Squeeze Out Time To Call U No Mata How Busy He Is... I Hav Experienced Dat Too And Each Time I Complain To Him, He Will Be Givin Me One Silly Excuse... All For Him To Text Me One Day Dat We Should End D Whole Tin because Is Nt Workin Out.. I Didn't Feel Bad Or Quarrel Him because I Saw It Comin And He Called Sum Days Later To Apologize And Commend Ma Maturity 4 Nt Pickin Up Quarrel Wit Him Afta All He Did... And I Told Him *Guy Na Ur Life I No Fit Force U*... We Re Friends Nw

[/s]

nikkyharry:
True

I will leave you with these few words!====>>> Serves you right

The Funny part is that your next relationship will still be a mess!

If you don't change!... Bullshitt!!

AntiWailer:
U are dating urself my dear.

When a guy act like that, you are not Number 1.

Try and get the true state of ur relationship.

Are u a shareholder ?

What is ur stake in the relationship. I mean how many percent.

the same advise you gave Buhari and now we thy recession..... see ya head like op own

BiafranBushBoy:
[s][/s]

U Again

zeezeegal:
U Again

Have we met before/

I cancelled because you just type some real bullshiit!

sleeknick:
Em preek don cut n e no know how to tell u...

jesus christ ,see reason

fumisko:
Babe I can relate. I had someone like that I used to like. All nice n all for one one two months...chat all through...calls n all...then he withdraws...n am confused:...does it mean he doesn't miss the time we shared and all that... Bottom line is I still can't explain it o.....but some men are immature and commitment phobic and some don't even know what is doing them. Try to fall in love with another man Abeg so u get ur attention off him. It's obvious u love him more than he loves u. And that's why there is this warning to ladies. Never ever love a man much more than he loves u. If not u r d one Dt wld b hurt. We are emotional beings...don't b deceived by his coming Bk n leaving...he is doing it Cus it isn't hurting him...infact he doesn't feel he is doing anything wrong. He loves u 30% u love him 70%
Run for your life or ur marriage wld b in shambles

I can totally relate to your experience too like all of what you wrote up. Op, as difficult as it may seem, I'll advice you to move on. A man is never too busy for that person he cares about. He claims he's busy but he eats, sleeps, talks, etc. What happened to sending even a text that won't take a minute to send? Free the dude and move on as someone who'll treat you better will come.

I am guilty of this! It's just very sad

Stop being so clingy, and allow the poor boy breathe.

Don't you have other things you can do to keep yourself engaged?

Please, get something to keep you busy, even if its a volunteer in an orphanage.

...and I'm just here looking for call and text mate?

Personally I can't deal with this, but apparently was he like this before you got into a relationship with him.?

nikkyharry:
I am really tired of this kind of attitude I get from my bf . I know I have got some ego ,am the type that reciprocate the same way a guy treats me . He calls once in a day and some days he could call you six times or more and you re gonna feel lyk maybe he has changed. So I call him nd text if am very pleased about how our communication level increase sometimes .

I barely call him till I feel he has done enough calling himself . He actually did a day without calling or texting , so I decided to call unfortunately, he didn't pick up nd I messaged him on WhatsApp nd he ignored everything but I believed he was busy . I was damn angry and I poured out how I felt , asking him what he took me as nd why he treats me that way . He was like 'you are my girlfriend but you don't act like it , which hurts me '. Begged him to tell me how buh he never did ! I told a friend about it and she told me dedicate more attention to him ,call him nd text him . I did that yesterday and it worked perfectly for me , we laughed , he called back nd we missed each other .

The call dropped during d call and I tried calling back that night but he didn't pick up again , tried his number this morning and messaged him , still the same ! What do I do? Should I call tonight agn or forget him or he doesn't love me . please sincere advise pls ...no bashing

Its either you dont have a real job or your boo also gets a boo. Either way, things are excellently going to work out between both of you. If there is enough acceleration on the love and sexx producing turbine.

Slimzjoe:
Every man with his problem.

All I want is for her to return my calls

eyaaaaa

Sometimes I don't call for a week. Only chat.

nikkyharry:
I am really tired of this kind of attitude I get from my bf . I know I have got some ego ,am the type that reciprocate the same way a guy treats me . He calls once in a day and some days he could call you six times or more and you re gonna feel lyk maybe he has changed. So I call him nd text if am very pleased about how our communication level increase sometimes .

I barely call him till I feel he has done enough calling himself . He actually did a day without calling or texting , so I decided to call unfortunately, he didn't pick up nd I messaged him on WhatsApp nd he ignored everything but I believed he was busy . I was damn angry and I poured out how I felt , asking him what he took me as nd why he treats me that way . He was like 'you are my girlfriend but you don't act like it , which hurts me '. Begged him to tell me how buh he never did ! I told a friend about it and she told me dedicate more attention to him ,call him nd text him . I did that yesterday and it worked perfectly for me , we laughed , he called back nd we missed each other .

The call dropped during d call and I tried calling back that night but he didn't pick up again , tried his number this morning and messaged him , still the same ! What do I do? Should I call tonight agn or forget him or he doesn't love me . please sincere advise pls ...no bashing

I am sorry about how you feel you've been treated by him. ask him is it just you he treats that way or everybody. I am like your boyfriend, and it's cost me my one true love.

Omode nii e, .small children love dey sweet sha.assumig say you sef get work,call no go dey your mind ,better free that guy make him hustle for una 2moro.

My dear, pls read this book titled "He's Just Not That Into You." When you meet ur man, you'll know and when he meets his woman, he will a different person. Best of luck!

daewoorazer:
[color=#995500]Let me tell you the blatant truth


Your ego is what will finish you up.

So u have a call'o'meter to measure his calls before u reciprocate.

Your bf is just like me.... I'd never call u once I realise ur childish mentality... Him still try pass me sef...


Yeye


#zanga[/color]

I love this.. Some people are saying she's dating herself already.... Haba

AntiWailer:
U are dating urself my dear.

When a guy act like that, you are not Number 1.

Try and get the true state of ur relationship.

Are u a shareholder ?

What is ur stake in the relationship. I mean how many percent.

Lol @ you are dating yourself. What bluntless especially from a first reply.. Lol.. the one doesn't love her with all his heart though, this i agree with

You are just being fu..... Uked,

AntiWailer:
U are dating urself my dear.

When a guy act like that, you are not Number 1.

Try and get the true state of ur relationship.

Are u a shareholder ?

What is ur stake in the relationship. I mean how many percent.