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Advice : I Care For My Wife But Love Another Woman - Family (3) - Nairaland

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Re: Advice : I Care For My Wife But Love Another Woman by LordIsaac(m): 7:05am On May 01, 2017
Stolen bread is sweet.....but in the end, it will be like gravels in the mouth!
Re: Advice : I Care For My Wife But Love Another Woman by canalily(m): 7:06am On May 01, 2017
Sit down and think deep about these pix and draw your conclusion oga. undecided angry

1 Like

Re: Advice : I Care For My Wife But Love Another Woman by Tending: 7:06am On May 01, 2017
ItzChinnex:
Seun, Please shift this to front page as this may save some shaking Marriage. Thanks.

I am 42, married for 15 years and have two wonderful kids (7 & 3). My wife and I had about 13-14 pretty good years before I began to realize that I wasn't really in love with her, and maybe never was. For a year a co-worker and I began a relationship.

I had always been attracted to her, and I
acted on it. Until a month ago we had carried the relationship from some very exciting sex to a very strong emotional relationship. She finally said the words that we should not see each other socially anymore, at least until I decide what to do with my situation at home. I agreed.

My wife and I have been in counseling for about six months, and she doesn't know about my affair. Neither does the counselor, who recently told her she thought the marriage was over. I am deeply in love with the woman I have had an affair with, and told her so during our last encounter (after we decided to call it off).

She told me she loved me, also. Now my wife and I are so distant. I do not find her attractive in the least - and we have not had sex for months. When we did it took all I had to get through it.

My heart hurts badly for the woman I love. She is putting up a strong front and moving on. Even seeing other men. She said in a year, if we are both available, maybe we can try to build a real, honest relationship. My two kids, who are my world, are trapped in between. I don't know what to do. I love another women, but I still care for my wife - just don't love her anymore, and not sure I can again. I've made these mistakes, but I believe I am truly in love for the very first time in my life.

How do I keep hope that things will turn out all right?
Please drop your comments

Source: https://chinnex..com/2017/04/advicr-i-care-for-my-wife-but-love.html

Seun , Lalasticlala , Mynd44

Fake bloggggers everywia.Looking for traffics

1 Like

Re: Advice : I Care For My Wife But Love Another Woman by rosalieene(f): 7:07am On May 01, 2017
AHCB:
care to explain the difference?
pls ask Google
Re: Advice : I Care For My Wife But Love Another Woman by teemy(m): 7:07am On May 01, 2017
mynd44 let me try to explain dingband's point a bit. as friends they have a lesser chance of long lasting friction exist between them. more points to talk about and exist as playmates compared to the statusness of husband and wife which could strain.
Re: Advice : I Care For My Wife But Love Another Woman by Nobody: 7:07am On May 01, 2017
GodnGold:
Why do you analyse issues critically...You nd I should toast on that sometime.



grin cheesy cheesy


Hahahaahah..toast ? Like bread? tongue
Re: Advice : I Care For My Wife But Love Another Woman by dingbang(m): 7:08am On May 01, 2017
ObongawanAKS:

Abeg park one side first, am too blessed to be stressed this new day/month.
Wish u the best of the month anyway.
ha.. Madam. No be fight oooooo...



Wats good about the new month tho. Everyday in Nigeria here just seems annoying ....
Re: Advice : I Care For My Wife But Love Another Woman by ObongawanAKS(f): 7:09am On May 01, 2017
Akan:
Hmm this one is serious

You loved ur wife when u first met her . The same feeling you have for this new lady. Whose to say that love won't fade tomorrow like it has for your wife. My friend the devil you know is better than that Angel you dont really know. My advice , what made you fall in love with your wife is still there , probably gathering dust somewhere in the attic. Look for it and dust it off , take care if it and you will fall in love with her again.

15 yrs of friendship, trust , dependence , 2 kids etc should not be put on trial against an infatuation. Look closely at your wife I mean really look at her. Those wrinkles you see are a testament that she gave you her best years now that her blossom is fading is when you need to love her even more. You can show this new lady how to love by living your wife even more. Good luck
Re: Advice : I Care For My Wife But Love Another Woman by sharliz(f): 7:09am On May 01, 2017
ifenes:
Marriage is what we have all be taught to be in,not really what we yearn for. The Soul yearns for happiness even when religion and traditional beliefs weighs it down. OP doesn't have to stay in a marriage that doesn't make him happy. Be happy,that's what life is all about. It can be difficult and you might lose a lot but why stay unhappy?
At the expense of making the wife n kids unhappy? Dats so unfair
Re: Advice : I Care For My Wife But Love Another Woman by Nobody: 7:11am On May 01, 2017
what the op is going through happens in every marriage, after kids, couples become distant and put all energy into taking care of the kids. This time of marriage can be so complicated and scary and if not handled well just like the op,can lead to a breakup of the marriage. I am sure if we are to ask the op about the last time he had sex with his wife, he probably won't remember.
op, let me describe your situation ; a child is given a present for Christmas, he is so excited to unwrap the gift, upon unwrapping, he finds out it is the toy the always eyed at the mall, he plays with it all year till the toy finally packs up, he tosses it aside waiting for the next gift.
you might think you have found a new love,new passion and spark, but I doubt you will feel same way once the new lady has a child for you and starts to give more attention to the child, you will feel lost over again, same place, same feeling.The is the perfect time to tell you that the grass is never greener on the other side, and for someone who grew up in a polygamous home, I can confidently tell you that no matter how good people are,there will always be that division and bad blood between the siblings. A word they say is enough for the wise, I believe I have said more than a word here

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Re: Advice : I Care For My Wife But Love Another Woman by Nobody: 7:11am On May 01, 2017
You never loved your wife, I guess you married her out of pity.

Please, for the sake of her emotions, don't ever maltreat the innocent woman.

I suggest you bring out some money and change her looks/wears/diet. Recreate your wife into that lady at your office and trust me, the attraction will be back because you surely had it before.

All women are the same, just different packaging. wink
Re: Advice : I Care For My Wife But Love Another Woman by Akhere1: 7:11am On May 01, 2017
Oga go back to your first wife what God has joined together let no office woman put asunder. The devil you know today is better than angel you see today go back to your wife i repeat
Re: Advice : I Care For My Wife But Love Another Woman by tsquaure(f): 7:12am On May 01, 2017
Even marriages made in heaven.. Needs a Man to maintain it. Oga I promise u in 5 yrs time u will get bored of this new woman . It is like a new shoes or dress . U get excited when u buy it but as soon as u acquire it d novelty wears off. Do not set into motion events which effects can not be reversed. I suggest u truthfully approach it counselling from now. Admit to ur wife n counsellor what u have been doing . Then u can get real help. I hope madam can forgive u .this mid life crisis u are going through will pass . Make d right decisions for all parties involved

1 Like

Re: Advice : I Care For My Wife But Love Another Woman by teemy(m): 7:13am On May 01, 2017
a piece from the bible that says the letter killeth but the spirit giveth life. the strictness of those titles in marriages could weigh down especially with the obligations that comes with them. it should be 'my friend i am building a life with'.
Re: Advice : I Care For My Wife But Love Another Woman by ladykolly(f): 7:13am On May 01, 2017
ItzChinnex:
Seun, Please shift this to front page as this may save some shaking Marriage. Thanks.

I am 42, married for 15 years and have two wonderful kids (7 & 3). My wife and I had about 13-14 pretty good years before I began to realize that I wasn't really in love with her, and maybe never was. For a year a co-worker and I began a relationship.

I had always been attracted to her, and I acted on it. Until a month ago we had carried the relationship from some very exciting sex to a very strong emotional relationship. She finally said the words that we should not see each other socially anymore, at least until I decide what to do with my situation at home. I agreed.

My wife and I have been in counseling for about six months, and she doesn't know about my affair. Neither does the counselor, who recently told her she thought the marriage was over. I am deeply in love with the woman I have had an affair with, and told her so during our last encounter (after we decided to call it off).

She told me she loved me, also. Now my wife and I are so distant. I do not find her attractive in the least - and we have not had sex for months. When we did it took all I had to get through it.

My heart hurts badly for the woman I love. She is putting up a strong front and moving on. Even seeing other men. She said in a year, if we are both available, maybe we can try to build a real, honest relationship. My two kids, who are my world, are trapped in between. I don't know what to do. I love another women, but I still care for my wife - just don't love her anymore, and not sure I can again. I've made these mistakes, but I believe I am truly in love for the very first time in my life.

How do I keep hope that things will turn out all right?
Please drop your comments

Source: https://chinnex..com/2017/04/advicr-i-care-for-my-wife-but-love.html

Seun , Lalasticlala , Mynd44
From ur write up d most wonderful thing u lyk abt ha is d sex part, ur hrt wants to jump out of ur body bcox of ha, u can neva compel d two ladies,may bcox u hv woken up in 15yrs nd u keep seeing ur wife face den u fink u dont love ha again,dont worry go nd marry ur co-worker wen u wake up nd keep seein ha face for 5yrs u wil b tempted to changin ur mind,rememba der are beautiful nd fresh gals stil comin up.imagine dat woman tellin u to do somefin abt ur marriage nd u agree to dat,instead of she to wait 4 ha own husband,if u marriage lacks love, nd look 4 ingredients to make it work,for dat marriage to dis work u hv to make it work,go bk to dose fins dat attracted u to ha.kip d love up,ur kids re stil grow.
Re: Advice : I Care For My Wife But Love Another Woman by amjustme2: 7:14am On May 01, 2017
This office romance girl? Oga don't say you are in love with her. That statement is an insult to LOVE. Love is based on principles. This is lust, motivated by greed. You are so so greedy that you don't think clear. You are so much interested to satisfy your sexual passion, without counting the cost. Would you take an oath that this is the only other lady you have had sex with outside marriage? Likely not.

Cure your wrong passion, your pervasive sexual appetite. Ask for forgiveness from your wife. Make her lovable. Seek counseling. Be a hero this innocent kids you claim to love. Look away from any other woman.

But if you fail to make up with your wife and stick together like you wowed, and give these kids what they deserve, there will be consequences.

I think we should have rehab in this country for people who want to cure uncontrolled sexual passion. This thing is as dangerous as drugs, tobacco

1 Like

Re: Advice : I Care For My Wife But Love Another Woman by YelloweWest: 7:14am On May 01, 2017
Mynd44:
There is something people dont realize or understand about feelings before rushing into marriage.

Your wife/husband is not the last woman/man you will fall in love with

Your wife/husband is not the last woman/man you will find your self sexually attracted to

You might think leaving your wife for this woman is the best. Heck, you might even believe it but what happens in 7 years when you find yourself falling in love with another woman?
What happens when you find yourself sexually attractive to another woman?
What happens when you begin to feel a different connection with another woman? A connection so deep, it makes you rethink staying with this new woman?

What will you do? Marriage is not all about love and what you feel for your wife. A lot of times in a marriage, you will sit down and think to yourself why you chose to marry this person. Sometimes, you might even hate the person you married guess what, it is not totally abnormal.

Marriage like life has a lot of ups and downs, but do not because of the downs think you cant go up because the down just makes the journey up a lot more fun.

But then again, what do I know? I dont even have a girlfriend not to talk about marriage. I hope you make the right choice.

Sallam
EXACTLY!

Now that is why we don't act on your feelings. Feelings are usually a weakness.
I'm a woman married for 11years.
Once my friend in sch who was 25 at the time fell in love with a young hot lecturer. She confided in me, at the time she had been married for 6years....

She told me she finds himself irresistible but does not want to do anything stupid.

I had to set her brain to factory default! I told her to go deep into prayer cos whatever she felt was just devilish. She did so and that feeling fizzled away...
She said the last time she was his pic she said to herself , wait o, I was actually falling for this guy?? How??


I thank God she didn't actually on her feelings...

So no matter what you feel you must realise you not a teenager! You made a vow so stick to it!
Re: Advice : I Care For My Wife But Love Another Woman by mctowel01: 7:14am On May 01, 2017
bloggers and their made up stories
Re: Advice : I Care For My Wife But Love Another Woman by Excuzeme: 7:15am On May 01, 2017
ItzChinnex:
Seun, Please shift this to front page as this may save some shaking Marriage. Thanks.

I am 42, married for 15 years and have two wonderful kids (7 & 3). My wife and I had about 13-14 pretty good years before I began to realize that I wasn't really in love with her, and maybe never was. For a year a co-worker and I began a relationship.

I had always been attracted to her, and I acted on it. Until a month ago we had carried the relationship from some very exciting sex to a very strong emotional relationship. She finally said the words that we should not see each other socially anymore, at least until I decide what to do with my situation at home. I agreed.

My wife and I have been in counseling for about six months, and she doesn't know about my affair. Neither does the counselor, who recently told her she thought the marriage was over. I am deeply in love with the woman I have had an affair with, and told her so during our last encounter (after we decided to call it off).

She told me she loved me, also. Now my wife and I are so distant. I do not find her attractive in the least - and we have not had sex for months. When we did it took all I had to get through it.

My heart hurts badly for the woman I love. She is putting up a strong front and moving on. Even seeing other men. She said in a year, if we are both available, maybe we can try to build a real, honest relationship. My two kids, who are my world, are trapped in between. I don't know what to do. I love another women, but I still care for my wife - just don't love her anymore, and not sure I can again. I've made these mistakes, but I believe I am truly in love for the very first time in my life.

How do I keep hope that things will turn out all right?
Please drop your comments

Source: https://chinnex..com/2017/04/advicr-i-care-for-my-wife-but-love.html

Seun , Lalasticlala , Mynd44

Nothing works, without effort!
You are not loving your wife because your heart is with someone else (Except your wife has cheated or done something really bad, like disrespecting you...but l did not see anything like that in your post).

Now, you are damn lucky that the lady broke-off your relationship though l know that she is just trying to play 'mind games' with you, by doing that (she wants to pressure you ino abandoning your wife).

Take this opportunity to rebuild your love for your wife (I am saying all these on the condition that your wife had not wronged you in any particularly bad manner).
*Purge your heart of that outside lover of yours.
*Sit your wife down and apologise to her.
*Tell her the truth that you have been cheating (she probably knows anyway, but still say it).
*Tell her you want to work on your marriage and restart it afresh.
*Tell her to promise to assist you in getting over the other woman (that is the hardest part in the hwole problem because you are currently very pussy-whipped).
Remember, even if you marry this outside chick, a time will come when you will also get fed-up with her either because you have seen a better outside chick or you are just as bored with her, as you are with your house wife! ~so, WHAT THE POINT

~Its very important that you get the support of your wife, to assist you to overcome the other woman. Only she can help you, if you genuinely want to over come her. Trust me, she will come back even stronger. She is just playing mind games for now.

Now, write EVERYTHING you like in the other woman down on paper,...and give it to your wife.
Tell her to try her best, to give you those things...as much as she can.

Now, remember that unless your wife has really, really wronged you, you should never break-up your marriage just for the fun of being with another woman (same with a woman)..... no matter what, the children will suffer a lot for your actions (its not about dashing them more money, the sufferings are "emotional and psychological"... things money cant buy).

Finally, pray to God for forgiveness, read your Bible daily and make a decision that you want to appear "acceptable" in the sight of God.
Decide to be "the man" and bring back laughter into your family.

Just think about it: Will you be repeating the same story and going through the same motions, when you also get bored with the hot sex and emotions you are getting from this lady? WHAT THE POINT?

As someone who has been married for "long" as well, l can tell you that except your wife really phuck-up big time (in which divorce is acceptable)...marriage is all about being contented with your spouse, appreciating their good sides and helping them to overcome their bad-sides, making a commitment to be together through thick and thin, pledging to be faithful to each other, to respect each other and to stand-up for each other.

I have seen two 75+ yrs old husband and wife who went out together, walking back home together "in silence" (they are kind of annoyed with each other) yet both cannot do without the other for ten minutes! grin

Think about the future`...not just about your personal, selfish interest..and the interest of that your 3rd leg! grin grin

Now, go back to your wife and make her happy...once again! kiss kiss kiss

2 Likes

Re: Advice : I Care For My Wife But Love Another Woman by teemy(m): 7:15am On May 01, 2017
and readers the man involved here is not the op itzchinnex. it is a drop point from his blog.
Re: Advice : I Care For My Wife But Love Another Woman by Justdare: 7:15am On May 01, 2017
madone:
OP u re just a user,runing off to another lady for sex when u have ur wife. Look at wat this man is saying ooo "my kids are my world" you re very selfish oga.witout ur wife those kids re nothing.without appology i think u re very irredppnsible and u re not a good husband rather u re an opportunist and a serial cheater. Mr office romance king watch it because wen u divorce ur wife u ll become soo miserable and frustrated.
Are you sure you don't know OP. This one wey you no gree commot finger for 'P'.
You won't know what the guy is going. A lot of us find ways to fill the 'empty' in our lives albeit the wrong ways.
We search externally for solutions to our internal problems. It works for a period until the new chick shows her true colour.
The biggest mistake you'll make is to marry the lady in question cause by then you would have turned the good woman you have (or had by then) into a bitter enemy.
You don't wanna mess with a woman who genuinely loved you cause she'll hate you with the same intensity.
Bros, your life go scatter oooo.
Re: Advice : I Care For My Wife But Love Another Woman by AHCB: 7:16am On May 01, 2017
rosalieene:

pls ask Google
I'm asking you. Is it a bad thing? sad

1 Like

Re: Advice : I Care For My Wife But Love Another Woman by Nobody: 7:16am On May 01, 2017
bloggers and lie lie. grin
Re: Advice : I Care For My Wife But Love Another Woman by wildrose21(m): 7:17am On May 01, 2017
Oga, you are 42 (Assuming this story is real, not just a pointer to your blog) and you are here asking us for an advice... Who we young guys go come ask when we get gbege, Ifa?... Baba just make any decision you deem fit, factoring your nobility and your kids, and man up to whatever consequence(s) may arise, good or bad. Break a leg!

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Re: Advice : I Care For My Wife But Love Another Woman by ummeey: 7:18am On May 01, 2017
Sir, How can your kids be your world without their mother? Did you have them alone? You should have thought of them before falling for another woman. You cheated! You selfish! You love your wife but you have been captured because you can't be realising you never loved her after 15 years. Who do you want to leave her for now?
Re: Advice : I Care For My Wife But Love Another Woman by Dsparker(f): 7:18am On May 01, 2017
i may not understand ur situation cus am nt in ur shoes, but i don't think you should leave ur wife, try from the start again, when you guys where dating, i have something dat might help, try downloading a book called love dare by alex kendrick, is an assignment you have to carry out for fourty days, see if it can help you regain ur love for ur wife, if for nothing, for those two angels you both have.

1 Like

Re: Advice : I Care For My Wife But Love Another Woman by rosalieene(f): 7:20am On May 01, 2017
AHCB:
I'm asking you. Is it a bad thing? sad
since you couldn't Google it, I helped you.

Love is an intense feeling of affection toward another person. It's a profound and caring attraction that forms emotional attachment. On the flip side, lust is a strong desire of a sexual nature that is based on physical attraction.
Re: Advice : I Care For My Wife But Love Another Woman by chigo003(m): 7:20am On May 01, 2017
Prov 9: 17-18 (Amp) "Stolen waters (pleasures) are sweet [because they are forbidden];
And bread eaten in secret is pleasant.
But he does not know that the spirits of the dead are there,
And that her guests are [already] in the depths of Sheol (the nether world, the place of the dead)". Having an extra-marital affair is a recipe for destruction. You are eating a forbidden fruit. You are in lust with your co-worker and not love. Confess to your wife and repent, then continue with the counseling. Finally and most importantly, receive Jesus Christ into your life and be delivered from immorality.
Re: Advice : I Care For My Wife But Love Another Woman by buchilino(m): 7:20am On May 01, 2017
TrapQueen77:
Ok, here's my view...

Either we admit it or not a lot of married couples are married for the sake of being married..some are due to parents & peer pressure, culture etc etc...but one thing they concealed here is their true feelings..

Example: This man..imagine he is married for 15yrs but never fell in love with his wife tho he care for her. (Juz be reminded that LOVE & CARE are 2 different things..) He care for her coz of their kids but doesnt mean he Love her, Respect her or being Honest to her..

The only thing he need is to BE HONEST...tell his wife the truth so he can set free himself from all the emotional distress that torn him to be a real man.

2 ME, UR D ONLY PERSON DAT SEEMS TO HAVE MADE A SENSIBLE STATEMENT. MARRIAGE IS UNDER ALOT OF ATTACKS NOWADAYS (BOTH PHYSICALLY, SPIRITUALLY N MORALLY). I TOO WILL ADVICE D OP TO THINK DEEP B4 MAKING A POWERFUL DECISION CONCERNING HIS MARRIAGE. I NO LOTS OF GUYS WHO ONCE FOUND DEMSELVES IN SURE DILEMMA B4, BUT ALL R REGRETTING IT. ONCE A GOOD MARRIAGE IS DESTROYED, GETTING IT BACK WILL BE ONE OF D HARDEST THINGS ANY PERSON CAN DO.

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Re: Advice : I Care For My Wife But Love Another Woman by ObongawanAKS(f): 7:21am On May 01, 2017
dingbang:


Wats good about the new month tho. Everyday in Nigeria here just seems annoying ....
eyaaa, epele sir! Here's my candid advice, do not hope too much on Nigeria else u be screwed; that way u make ur days worthwhile. #Peace
Re: Advice : I Care For My Wife But Love Another Woman by dingbang(m): 7:22am On May 01, 2017
ObongawanAKS:

eyaaa, epele sir! Here's my candid advice, do not hope too much on Nigeria else u be screwed; that way u make ur days worthwhile. #Peace
thanks .. Dis ur moniker sef.. Its funny and long

1 Like

Re: Advice : I Care For My Wife But Love Another Woman by realabraham: 7:27am On May 01, 2017
Op, I am a living witness that this is vain. It is not worth it. I won't go into details but please take all the time you need and go back to your wife and children. Only a few percentage of stories like this actually work out well.
Love initiates marriage but cannot wholly sustain it. It is the commitment you made to each other that has kept and will sustain you. Please don't make this mistake.
Now that your head is in the clouds and you think you are in love, you won't understand why the majority of us are in support of you fixing your marriage. It's when the new relationship start to fall apart that your senses return. Don't complicate your life.
IT IS NOT WORTH IT.

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