mctowel01:

Bro, hope in future years, you won't say you didn't see the signs. When challenges occur in the family and your wife begins to say she can't do this or that, know you were shown the signs. Man to man, we all know that no guy just spends luxury on another woman without other hidden intentions. This does not look good.
Edit.
Just saw your conclusion. A failed relationship is better than a failed marriage.

yes o brother. same reasons I broke off my engagement I had earlier this year

robotix:
I believe this lady is one you celebrated on nairaland some months ago with engagement. I must confess that I respect you in a way.

You should have told those guys saying let it slide that she is engaged to you already. My brother, sit her down and make your stance. Men don't give out money like that without having a back up plan and you know it.

What surprises me is the way they say let it slide... let it slide and you will marry a woman that still keep in touch with her toasters. One disgusting thing I HATE about Nigerian girls are things such as this. Why accept "gift" from a toaster who has vested interest in you when you already have a man engaged to?

ALL Nigerian GIRL DO THIS and some do get forked in the process.

Take my advise... you are already engaged to this girl and so tell her to define where she wants to be. What if something happens to your business tomorrow ( God forbid),she will run off to meet her toasters to satisfy her thirst?

You may just have a slight discussion with her BUT keep your eyes pilled. Receiving such money from the guy has given him HOPE (it is same with guys in this situation)

Story for another day bro. It's totally a different person. I am really fed up with Nigerian girls.

They can really go a long way in pretending just to get to their ultimate goal but God or Nature will continue to expose them because I don't deserve them.

tifany89:

Yeah but u made d mistake of asking her to be ur gf while she was still indebted to u. She could v agreed knowing fully well that you wouldn't request for the money again and am sure that is what happened. All through the times the going was good am sure u never bothered to ask her about the money. You just remembered she owes u coz u guys are no more together.

No bro. When the times was going good, I still asked her for it. Only that I asked for a fraction of it saying she should use the rest to get something else she needed.

Well that money isn't really so important anymore; I just only have been saving myself from the others I would have done

This relationship is complicated. The girl is simply playing around.

WebSurfer:

No bro. When the times was going good, I still asked her for it. Only that I asked for a fraction of it saying she should use the rest to get something else she needed.

Well that money isn't really so important anymore; I just only have been saving myself from the others I would have done

Okay den, no qualms. It's her loss afterall

Sorry eh...you seem like a decent and serious minded guy...truly her loss, but good you got a clearer picture of her before walking down the aisle. I always wonder why good guys always end up with the wrong kind of women and good girls end up with heartbreakers, and then their experience will end up changing them. It takes the grace of God for two good and well suited people to find each other...I swear. Maybe considering you just came out of a broken engagement and now this you should take time before starting another relationship...like reevaluate your type cos maybe you're attracting the same type that doesn't really suit you and what you're seeking.

Is this the first time such is happening? If yes, then you are overreacting.
Let it slide, but let her know it is wrong and make her know the dangers therein.

Make up and get back together, you can be indirectly pushing her out with the unnecessary nagging. Move on and be a man.

WebSurfer:


Story for another day bro. It's totally a different person. I am really fed up with Nigerian girls.

They can really go a long way in pretending just to get to their ultimate goal but God or Nature will continue to expose them because I don't deserve them.

oh my brother, I completely understand... do not spill the beans. I am in same shoes as yourself. I am also tired, I am fed up. I have had series of thought not to even marry. The strangest thing is that they don't like a guy who treats them right... THEY DON'T forget anyone who would come here and tell you otherwise.

From your past post and recent ones, I can deduce you Mr. Nice guy, the kind they don't appreciate. Shall we now turn monsters and start deceiving them? Certainly not!

To be honest, I have given up on them.

WebSurfer:
yes o brother. same reasons I broke off my engagement I had earlier this year

I wouldn't mind if you tell us why you broke it of as in how it ended. I know a lot of guys will learn from it but it is okay if you don't feel like sharing any details.

You are someone with a good heart, focused and love to treat women right... the sad thing is that most Nigerian girls don't appreciate this kind of personality.

The ones who would appreciate your type have had enough experience forking around and so they are tired and want to settle down. It is sad. I have a female friend from here whom I do tell my experience. I told her that if you were not close to me, you would think that guys are deliberately hating on girls but you see my tales are not made up but from REAL LIFE experiences...

Our case are like the coming of christ wherein the people refuse to accept him because he is diguised in a figure they do not have in mind.

we are like opportunity wrapped and dumped in a piece of garbage and so,they often end up not knowing what our hearts hold. These same girls will go on to meet players, womanizers, domestic violators, philanderers and they will stick to them, call them heros and all what nots.

It is a sad situation bro...

robotix:
I wouldn't mind if you tell us why you broke it of as in how it ended. I know a lot of guys will learn from it but it is okay if you don't feel like sharing any details.

You are someone with a good heart, focused and love to treat women right... the sad thing is that most Nigerian girls don't appreciate this kind of personality.

The ones who would appreciate your type have had enough experience forking around and so they are tired and want to settle down. It is sad. I have a female friend from here whom I do tell my experience. I told her that if you were not close to me, you would think that guys are deliberately hating on girls but you see my tales are not made up but from REAL LIFE experiences...

Our case are like the coming of christ wherein the people refuse to accept him because he is diguised in a figure they do not have in mind.

we are like opportunity wrapped and dumped in a piece of garbage and so,they often end up not knowing what our hearts hold. These same girls will go on to meet players, womanizers, domestic violators, philanderers and they will stick to them, call them heros and all what nots.

It is a sad situation bro...

I swear you brought this out from me. Experience remain the best teacher.

robotix:
oh my brother, I completely understand... do not spill the beans. I am in same shoes as yourself. I am also tired, I am fed up. I have had series of thought not to even marry. The strangest thing is that they don't like a guy who treats them right... THEY DON'T forget anyone who would come here and tell you otherwise.

From your past post and recent ones, I can deduce you Mr. Nice guy, the kind they don't appreciate. Shall we now turn monsters and start deceiving them? Certainly not!

To be honest, I have given up on them.

Certainly not because we don't have such a conscience that will carry it. Instead, regrets after doing them. So we just be ourselves until we find the right one who really love us in the right way and purpose

Pemmy15:
Sorry eh...you seem like a decent and serious minded guy...truly her loss, but good you got a clearer picture of her before walking down the aisle. I always wonder why good guys always end up with the wrong kind of women and good girls end up with heartbreakers, and then their experience will end up changing them. It takes the grace of God for two good and well suited people to find each other...I swear. Maybe considering you just came out of a broken engagement and now this you should take time before starting another relationship...like reevaluate your type cos maybe you're attracting the same type that doesn't really suit you and what you're seeking.

This is my problem . I have tried my best but maybe it is not good enough. Or maybe the surrounding I find myself. But I'm really tired

LogoDWhiz:
Is this the first time such is happening? If yes, then you are overreacting.
Let it slide, but let her know it is wrong and make her know the dangers therein.

Make up and get back together, you can be indirectly pushing her out with the unnecessary nagging. Move on and be a man.

Even though she might still stay with me until she moves to her new place, trust me I wouldn't even allow anything because I can't say everything down here and I see more reasons I have to let it go.

WebSurfer:
I swear you brought this out from me. Experience remain the best teacher.

What I do now is just hide myself... You know your worth and in a world where sorrow hangs in the air, you are a gold and any girl with the right sense will surely appreciate you.

Treat a girl too nicely, and you will be called a weakling, immature, pest, too nice... read the link below bro

https://www.nairaland.com/396243/how-maintain-control-woman

But can we change who we really are at heart?

WebSurfer:

Even though she might still stay with me until she moves to her new place, trust me I wouldn't even allow anything because I can't say everything down here and I see more reasons I have to let it go.

Probably you should if you can't let go.. Save yourself the stress.

Trust is a must have in a relationship.. You start having it at this stage, it's gonna be bad later on.

robotix:
What I do now is just hide myself... You know your worth and in a world where sorrow hangs in the air, you are a gold and any girl with the right sense will surely appreciate you.

Treat a girl too nicely, and you will be called a weakling, immature, pest, too nice... read the link below bro

https://www.nairaland.com/396243/how-maintain-control-woman

But can we change who we really are at heart?

How come I never came about such a thread ? I think on the last relationship (the one I engaged before cancellation) , I exhibited the three types at a stage before things got out of hand.

This recent relationship looks more like the artificial control. God bless you for this.

WebSurfer:


How come I never came about such a thread ? I think on the last relationship (the one I engaged before cancellation) , I exhibited the three types at a stage before things got out of hand.

This recent relationship looks more like the artificial control. God bless you for this.

Hmmmmm... will send you a PM brother.

WebSurfer:


This is my problem . I have tried my best but maybe it is not good enough. Or maybe the surrounding I find myself. But I'm really tired

Really sorry. You need to take a step back and honestly evaluate both your surroundings and the people in it. You're lucky that you have the chance to do it before you make major choices. Don't feel discouraged...just use it as a learning opportunity and proceed with caution. There are plenty of good men and women out there despite what you read on nairaland and social media...don't be cynical but don't rush it. You'll meet the one that's right for you.

Bro... from your thread and comments... that babe is playing you all along. You did well to drop her... but I don't think you should tag all Nigerian girls as being deceitful. .. women are the same worldwide... you just have to be careful and watch for signs.
Flight to Abuja... did she ask you to buy the ticket?...I guess not...she wanted the cash. Did the loan request come up before you made sales?...I guess not... she requested the cash when she knew you had it. As soon as you said no...you can't afford it a mysterious friend suddenly made it available? ..that was a lie... said that to make you feel jealous and hopefully tell her to refund him and you will give it to her. Suddenly she had to cancel the flight?...that was a lie. Staying the night at a friend because bla bla bla?... another story. Waiting to get her own place?...a lie....waiting to move in with another guy. Bro.... she is doing runs.... you are the base... give her like a week or two... tell her she has to go. Keep playing around playing Mr Nice Guy.... she'll give you something to lead you to your grave.

robotix:
oh my brother, I completely understand... do not spill the beans. I am in same shoes as yourself. I am also tired, I am fed up. I have had series of thought not to even marry. The strangest thing is that they don't like a guy who treats them right... THEY DON'T forget anyone who would come here and tell you otherwise.

From your past post and recent ones, I can deduce you Mr. Nice guy, the kind they don't appreciate. Shall we now turn monsters and start deceiving them? Certainly not!

To be honest, I have given up on them.

There are many that do appreciate nice guys, but tbh I think even nice guys often run for bad girls just like good girls often run after bad guys. I see many good guys overlook substance for what's on sight. Don't be discouraged, take heart, use caution and keep being yourself if you truly are a good guy. Patience will be your best friend.

robotix:
oh my brother, I completely understand... do not spill the beans. I am in same shoes as yourself. I am also tired, I am fed up. I have had series of thought not to even marry. The strangest thing is that they don't like a guy who treats them right... THEY DON'T forget anyone who would come here and tell you otherwise.

From your past post and recent ones, I can deduce you Mr. Nice guy, the kind they don't appreciate. Shall we now turn monsters and start deceiving them? Certainly not!

To be honest, I have given up on them.

Lol, you definitely have a high threshold for rubbish. Majority of the heartbreakers were once nice guys. Maybe you still need a few more till you loose it, or if very lucky, you meet from the few who will actually appreciate you.

mctowel01:

Lol, you definitely have a high threshold for rubbish. Majority of the heartbreakers were once nice guys. Maybe you still need a few more till you loose it, or if very lucky, you meet from the few who will actually appreciate you.

bro, I can be a bad if I want. Not that I don't have girls, I fork buddies but I don't have a main chic... so you see the irony of things?

Originalsly:
Bro... from your thread and comments... that babe is playing you all along. You did well to drop her... but I don't think you should tag all Nigerian girls as being deceitful. .. women are the same worldwide... you just have to be careful and watch for signs.
Flight to Abuja... did she ask you to buy the ticket?...I guess not...she wanted the cash. Did the loan request come up before you made sales?...I guess not... she requested the cash when she knew you had it. As soon as you said no...you can't afford it a mysterious friend suddenly made it available? ..that was a lie... said that to make you feel jealous and hopefully tell her to refund him and you will give it to her. Suddenly she had to cancel the flight?...that was a lie. Staying the night at a friend because bla bla bla?... another story. Waiting to get her own place?...a lie....waiting to move in with another guy. Bro.... she is doing runs.... you are the base... give her like a week or two... tell her she has to go. Keep playing around playing Mr Nice Guy.... she'll give you something to lead you to your grave.

This is way off. Trust me on that

If she continue to keep malice with you, without realizing that she is wrong I think she has alternative.....thats someone else.....just be calm and allow things to unfold itself....i wish you best of luck

joceey:
If she continue to keep malice with you, without realizing that she is wrong I think she has alternative.....thats someone else.....just be calm and allow things to unfold itself....i wish you best of luck

I'm done with it. I have seen too much signs already

You are over reacting. If you dont trust her why are you with her?

WebSurfer:
My partner was suppose to get to Abuja to get her stuffs back home as she plan on relocating due to the fact her rent was overdue.

She clearly explained with style she couldn't use the road due to different tiredness and different excuses knowing fully well she could not afford it.

Therefore either expecting me or "anyone" to help her book a flight"

I called her calmly and jokingly discussed it , but she said she would never go by road. I kept quiet but insisted she go by road as i could not afford that luxury at a time like this.

Meanwhile, I couldn't ask her stop her chances because it was NONE of my business since i knew she might have the money but expecting someone else to pay for her (women nature) .

Just around 2 days ago, a female friend from Abuja was around my neighbourhood and needed mobility assistance of which I couldn't resist because of how close we were. I had to bring her home of which my partner agreed on with me before I left the house.

Just yesterday, she claimed a male friend of her paid for her ticket, but even as I had to ask, she said he was just a friend and she sees nothing wrong in accepting it in the first place.

Of course as a guy I have to think smart.
First and foremost, the question I asked is if the guy ever had interest or asked her out. She couldn't deny but claimed she saw nothing wrong in accepting.

Even when she missed the flight on issues here and there making her cancel the trip for now , I refused having any conversation with her apart from short household statements which she followed the trend.


She's making it all look normal which I refuse to accept with it going worse as we no longer sleep in same room.

Am I overreacting or doing what is right

Lewaluv:
You are over reacting. If you dont trust her why are you with her?

I can't be foolish to trust someone who looks very promiscuous. Of course I wouldn't know that if I didn't date her

you no need a prophet to tell you. take a look at her whatsapp messages and decide for yourself.

mctowel01:

Lol, you definitely have a high threshold for rubbish. Majority of the heartbreakers were once nice guys. Maybe you still need a few more till you loose it, or if very lucky, you meet from the few who will actually appreciate you.

This

WebSurfer:

Very on point brother. Practically living for around a month and some weeks.
She is a corper serving here.
We were just friends for months even if we stayed together in same roof until I asked her out.

During watching the champions league final game at home, she dressed up, took some of her belongings, came to say she was going to her friend's place to spend the night till this morning travelling to Abuja from there.

Even though I recall she talked to her friend over the phone she wanted to see her but the fact that I also noticed she called another guy to come pick her up since I would not suspend watching the match got me up straight up to tell her I wasn't interested in continuing the relationship as I couldn't continue with the disrespect she gives me.

Though she said she was sorry and all that but I had to tell her that I'm not sure I can change her so there's no point as I am not ready for such a journey again.

Bro you have earned my respect, and i rarely tell people this. Men like you are what our society needs at the moment. If only my friend could see this post cos he is almost in the same situation. You saved yourself heartaches, fights, disrespect and bitterness by making a very simple yet tough decision.
God will give you your own woman and trust me, i know what its like to have someone who truly understands your position and is ready to stay true to your 'ministry' in thick and thin.

WebSurfer:


Story for another day bro. It's totally a different person. I am really fed up with Nigerian girls.

They can really go a long way in pretending just to get to their ultimate goal but God or Nature will continue to expose them because I don't deserve them.

Wooooooow! I thought its the same person. It is well.

The truth is Nigerian guys always act dumb, una no like true....

See the average Nigerian girl for who they truly are and u won't have problems... I swear.

They see guys as a means to an end, have that at the back of ur mind before you venture into anything sexual or otherwise. Even wives do that...


She doesn't see anything in collecting things from guys Buh I bet if it was the other way round she won't be happy with u collecting things from a girl.

She's presently more concerned about the pix she'll take on that flight to intimidate her friends on facebook.

Open ur eyes
Smh