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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / 10 Realistic steps a lady should follow if she truly desires marital peace(Pics) (46586 Views)
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Re: 10 Realistic steps a lady should follow if she truly desires marital peace(Pics) by Toks2008(m): 9:41am On Nov 13, 2017 |
KreativGenius: The irony is that people who know nothing about this marital thing can never know cos you don't know what you don't know. There needs not be a marital friction before a party strays...I met my ex a day after her 19th birthday and we dated for 6 years then had the introduction thing then registry but had to hold on for the proper traditional marriage since her mum was away. After staying together for another 6 years therabout she started saying stuffs like "I feel caged" "I have spent all my life with you" I did not enjoy my youthful years need a break" bla bla I knew at once that she just wanted to explore after 12years with me and no matter how I tried to plead with her to calm down,she insisted,my family pleaded,she insisted and when she felt the heat was too much she changed the story that I'm not really married to her since we are yet to have the trad wedding hence no bride price was ever paid on her and at that point my people just had to advise me to let go..... (Lesson ...a woman who wants to go will always find a reason to...don't force it) Infant I started asking myself if indeed I have ever been married so I usually tell people I was "technically" married or how do I explain the registry thing... Anyways I let her go but after 3tears just as she left, she came back and I welcomed her without much ado cis to me i was like "well she has explored and probably realized she still wants me and cobsidering the years weve been together" But rather for her to be remorseful, stable and focused,she was still arrogant so I had to put a stop and unregister the registry thing and since then I have moved on. So sometimes shut happened and if you don't know the details, don't be quick to taunt another over failed union. Shits happen. 1 Like |
Re: 10 Realistic steps a lady should follow if she truly desires marital peace(Pics) by Nobody: 9:41am On Nov 13, 2017 |
Proudgorgeousga: Tushe, Enjoy ! I don't have a lack-mentality my dear. With age,you'll get understanding like i said earlier ! |
Re: 10 Realistic steps a lady should follow if she truly desires marital peace(Pics) by teemy(m): 9:43am On Nov 13, 2017 |
Joy1706:lolz. an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth leaves us all tooth less and blind |
Re: 10 Realistic steps a lady should follow if she truly desires marital peace(Pics) by Nobody: 9:45am On Nov 13, 2017 |
KreativGenius: and I'm telling you that I have reached my understanding. 1 Like |
Re: 10 Realistic steps a lady should follow if she truly desires marital peace(Pics) by Nobody: 9:45am On Nov 13, 2017 |
Toks2008: True @ (Lesson ...a woman who wants to go will always find a reason to...don't force it) She finds fault and hinges it on the guy, because there's a psycological patch that needs to be fed, what it needs to be fed with is on the " path of wandering ", it's a wandering path. Just an insatiety problem that's within her own soul. It's hi-time we get more counsels who can help people see that many of their problems stems from the seed of their misdemeanors that's deep within. Funny enough, like you i always love a strayed, yet repentant lover, but bro, they come back spoiled and even need more fixing. This is the problem ! |
Re: 10 Realistic steps a lady should follow if she truly desires marital peace(Pics) by Nobody: 9:46am On Nov 13, 2017 |
teemy: Tushe, then perhaps the oP has valid points, which is, carry forgiveness along for the journey. Plenty of it, and it will be well with such a soul Nothing like an individual the Holy Spirit has worked upon their soul. Nothing beats it ! You can't make them become unforgiving, never ever ! Even when they fail and stumble, they find their footing and forgive and press on ! 1 Like |
Re: 10 Realistic steps a lady should follow if she truly desires marital peace(Pics) by Toks2008(m): 9:48am On Nov 13, 2017 |
Joy1706: [size=13pt] Una see my problem with naira land ladies....always turning my threads upside down[/size] |
Re: 10 Realistic steps a lady should follow if she truly desires marital peace(Pics) by shaybebaby(f): 9:54am On Nov 13, 2017 |
Toks2008:Great. So when men cheat serially, they are unrepentant so have no place in our lives again. 1 Like |
Re: 10 Realistic steps a lady should follow if she truly desires marital peace(Pics) by Nobody: 9:59am On Nov 13, 2017 |
Satiety and Insatiety is first psychological. That females are designed to be " receivers " and their counterparts "hunters " imbues a condition in both, where the receivers have a contented personality, while the hunter, with more skill can become " ferocious ". Suffice to say, the receiver many times have now received the hunter's psych, while some hunters have learnt the receiver's pysch, hence the juxtapoxed confused state of how did we get here ! Rather, than speculate about the sea, it takes an actual walk through the corridors to understand the journey and the pathway! And all the lop sided bickering will have answers after we've taken the walk. Till then, all shouts are mere an after-reaction of having a preconceived foresight of the challenges ahead, in a seemingly " displaced " position. So finding cures to problems that haven't happened, or sharpening tools when there's no war is a psych problem. We must treat our minds and hearts and like the scripture connotes, from the heart comes the issues of life, we must treat our own hearts, our sights and leave d bull shit behind ! |
Re: 10 Realistic steps a lady should follow if she truly desires marital peace(Pics) by Nobody: 10:00am On Nov 13, 2017 |
shaybebaby: Morning Mom. How's the Knight Satiety and Insatiety is first psychological. That females are designed to be " receivers " and their counterparts "hunters " imbues a condition in both, where the receivers have a contented personality, while the hunter, with more skill can become " ferocious ". Suffice to say, the receiver many times have now received the hunter's psych, while some hunters have learnt the receiver's pysch, hence the juxtapoxed confused state of how did we get here ! Rather, than speculate about the sea, it takes an actual walk through the corridors to understand the journey and the pathway! And all the lop sided bickering will have answers after we've taken the walk. Till then, all shouts are mere an after-reaction of having a preconceived foresight of the challenges ahead, in a seemingly " displaced " position. So finding cures to problems that haven't happened, or sharpening tools when there's no war is a psych problem. We must treat our minds and hearts and like the scripture connotes, from the heart comes the issues of life, we must treat our own hearts, our sights and leave d bull poo behind ! |
Re: 10 Realistic steps a lady should follow if she truly desires marital peace(Pics) by Toks2008(m): 10:01am On Nov 13, 2017 |
winnar: With all the sermons in the world has cheating stopped? Sis I write realistic,factual,unbiased no holds bar threads which is never a reflection of my persona but a reflection of the cruel world out there. |
Re: 10 Realistic steps a lady should follow if she truly desires marital peace(Pics) by shaybebaby(f): 10:05am On Nov 13, 2017 |
KreativGenius:Don't see how all the challenges the op says the woman must put up with is scriptural. Except you want to say that men's irresponsible conduct that is observed today is scriptural. 1 Like |
Re: 10 Realistic steps a lady should follow if she truly desires marital peace(Pics) by Toks2008(m): 10:07am On Nov 13, 2017 |
shaybebaby: What I hate is when a man who chooses to cheat does so with impunity...in fact such a guy is insane. Your wife deserves your respect and that you chose to cheat on her is bad enough but doing it to her face is totally insane...give her the respect and go farrrrrrr farrrrrrr away and ensure you use a protection IF YOU MUST PHILANDER. This sounds as if I'm supporting infidelity but I'm not..just asking those who have chosen the hell bound path to at least respect their wives. |
Re: 10 Realistic steps a lady should follow if she truly desires marital peace(Pics) by Nobody: 10:09am On Nov 13, 2017 |
shaybebaby: I've never cheated, not even once ! Guess what, i know how to run I also veer off path and associations that would make me want to behave in ways i don't want to. I determine my rules and live by them ! I believe cheats are not terrible people. I also believe that some may be undergoing process and will be become better individuals I'm saying, men should develop what women have naturally by design " contentedness " and find satiety in their own cisterns ! |
Re: 10 Realistic steps a lady should follow if she truly desires marital peace(Pics) by shaybebaby(f): 10:10am On Nov 13, 2017 |
Toks2008:But the disrepect comes from act itself not the proximity. Cheating is disrespectful, finito! If you must philander, don't get married. How hard is that? 3 Likes |
Re: 10 Realistic steps a lady should follow if she truly desires marital peace(Pics) by alexis007(m): 10:14am On Nov 13, 2017 |
KreativGenius:As in eh...I dey wonder if dem dey enter marriage to fight war. Meanwhile, volunteers are needed at Sambisa forest( I dunno if the Army has finally cleaned that place out). Just imagine contributions to the thread. Even the op is mad sef, sorry to say. There are very few people who are wise these days. Again, na d!ck and toto still dey cause trouble. Make we just dey mumu shaaa. Na when dead people(no longer old people) go dey run this country na when our eyes go clear, if e go gree clear sef. It would be so funny seeing that policies ment to guide living people were actually formulated and enacted by dead men. Lolz |
Re: 10 Realistic steps a lady should follow if she truly desires marital peace(Pics) by shaybebaby(f): 10:17am On Nov 13, 2017 |
KreativGenius:Well if that's what you are saying, you should be in agreement with the op. What OP is doing is passing on the responsibility of the failings of men on to women. That's a nono. If you must Fvck up, own it. Don't be telling me how to deal with what is your failing. It's yours and up to you to fix it. 2 Likes |
Re: 10 Realistic steps a lady should follow if she truly desires marital peace(Pics) by Nobody: 10:17am On Nov 13, 2017 |
alexis007: Seeing how ladies arm themselves for marriage is something ! Guys too self get their own for body ! I refuse to allow anything contaminate my cognitive pathways ! I'm the master of my mind, and will control my actions ! Until We master our actions, we are slaves, many contributions shows people are slaves to rules, principles and dogmas ! But Guess what, where the Spirit of the Lord is, there's Liberty ! |
Re: 10 Realistic steps a lady should follow if she truly desires marital peace(Pics) by Nobody: 10:21am On Nov 13, 2017 |
shaybebaby: My lady, i don't get involved in gender wars. I'm not vying for blaming marital ish on men. I simply supported the points raised, and didn't bother to check who the oP is to determine if i'll agree with him based on personality. Allow me express the points as i see them with due respect : 1. Rationalize, don't over speculate about a partner 2. Marriage is a game of risks. So level headed expectations 3. Be Humble 4. Hold plenty of forgiveness for the journey Against these points, i see no reason to fight the oP |
Re: 10 Realistic steps a lady should follow if she truly desires marital peace(Pics) by ibkayee(f): 10:21am On Nov 13, 2017 |
Daeylar:Lool best thing to do is skip anything to do with him, trash 2 Likes |
Re: 10 Realistic steps a lady should follow if she truly desires marital peace(Pics) by ibkayee(f): 10:22am On Nov 13, 2017 |
pocohantas:I'm telling you lool |
Re: 10 Realistic steps a lady should follow if she truly desires marital peace(Pics) by shaybebaby(f): 10:23am On Nov 13, 2017 |
KreativGenius:It becomes a gender war when it is one sided. There is no balance here. Afterall there are two people (at the minimum in every relationship) so why proscribe for just one? |
Re: 10 Realistic steps a lady should follow if she truly desires marital peace(Pics) by Nobody: 10:25am On Nov 13, 2017 |
shaybebaby: You know me ! I don't support evil. You didn't read my comments ma, i said men should learn " contentedness ". For me as a Christian, i don't support cheating irrespective of excuse. Will i hit the perfect mark, i don't know! But i advocate no-cheating in marriages, remember, God will judge the marriage bed !, so it's not a woman this or that, but individuals should commit to make the best out of their relationships |
Re: 10 Realistic steps a lady should follow if she truly desires marital peace(Pics) by shaybebaby(f): 10:27am On Nov 13, 2017 |
KreativGenius:In that case, you shouldn't see anything worthy of supporting in op's post. Because it is biased. Anyone with a balanced view will call him out and you failed do that. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: 10 Realistic steps a lady should follow if she truly desires marital peace(Pics) by Humanistme: 10:28am On Nov 13, 2017 |
Toks2008: do you consider it respect when your wife goes for a conference in another State and cheats a least she is doing it far far away from you..? 1 Like |
Re: 10 Realistic steps a lady should follow if she truly desires marital peace(Pics) by Nobody: 10:32am On Nov 13, 2017 |
shaybebaby: I'm a business man, going into transactions with less expectations makes me happy if i see failure in my path, i easily work my way around knots and keep pressing on. My lady, if the oP tells ladies go into marriage with plenty of forgiveness, should i be hard on him for such statement?If the oP is wrong for saying learn to forgive and work and fight for your marriage, should he not be praised for such a comment? How about Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinski saga? If it's many of the ladies of today, it's straight for divorce, but guess what it's close to how many years, i've lost count, they're both waxing stronger.We all need to fight for our loves and not be quick to bail on the slightest of issues. Simple ! It goes both ways, not for the males or the females, i stand for the truth, and when i read any piece, i look out for what reflects the truth, which i did with this post. Care to explain where you feel i'm wrong? Perhaps you could win me won more time like you have in previous times |
Re: 10 Realistic steps a lady should follow if she truly desires marital peace(Pics) by shaybebaby(f): 10:37am On Nov 13, 2017 |
KreativGenius:Nope, not going to. If a woman has to put up with all of that, she might as well be by herself, raise her kids and get her sexual kicks as she deems fit. Afterall, all the op's points makes the man redundant. Makes men irrelevant because you see, she is expected to do everything anyways, and if she can, pray tell, what exactly is the man needed for again? 3 Likes |
Re: 10 Realistic steps a lady should follow if she truly desires marital peace(Pics) by alexis007(m): 10:37am On Nov 13, 2017 |
KreativGenius:What you read here can make you afraid. That's normal. But the truth is that in reality it is a different ball game. Ever heard that people can't do quarter in real life what they boast of online? I for one person- I have set standards and rules for my life. And so far so good, the principles have moulded me into an ebullient and savvy individual who is living a decent life. Wetin remain na money and power, and I'd make waves as tremendous as Hitler's and Putin's. Concerning marriage, I'm looking forward to the best "happily ever after" with someone who knows her salt too. Of course I can't be this seasoned and then yoke myself with an empty-brained mediocre. God is surely going to be kind enough to attract my kind to me. So I no dey fear at all |
Re: 10 Realistic steps a lady should follow if she truly desires marital peace(Pics) by Nobody: 10:40am On Nov 13, 2017 |
shaybebaby: Take it easy dearie. A marriage won't work without a good shepherd, husband, lover and father ! Please, don't misunderstand me ! I'm all the way for the Nigerian woman, and i've told you this countless times. I also buttressed this point in this thread. My position on the subject is thus : People should fight for their love, men and women alike, people should respect their marital vows men and women alike, people should work to build successful marriages, men and women alike, people should forgive alot if they want healthy marriages, men and women alike. I believe these points are solid ! I MEAN TO SAY, THE PROBLEM ISN'T MEN OR WOMEN, BUT RULES, RULES,RULES,RULES,RULES AND RULES ! So why are you against my position? |
Re: 10 Realistic steps a lady should follow if she truly desires marital peace(Pics) by alexis007(m): 10:44am On Nov 13, 2017 |
shaybebaby:No sane person supports the op. But you...You personally like war. Come over to 82 Division and tell the C.O. that you wanna deal with something threatening national security. I'm sure you'd get a rifle, some ammo and a nice bulletproof vest for your troubles. At least your blood wey dey hot would be put into good use. |
Re: 10 Realistic steps a lady should follow if she truly desires marital peace(Pics) by Nobody: 10:45am On Nov 13, 2017 |
alexis007: Lol @ Wetin remain na money and power, and I'd make waves as tremendous as Hitler's and Putin's. WORD ! You share similar principles like me, like you i make my rules and call my own shots. What you read here can make one go nuts, we have so many unhealthiness roaming the society freely, it is well ! Concerning marriage, I'm looking forward to the best "happily ever after" with someone who knows her salt too. Of course I can't be this seasoned and then yoke myself with an empty-brained mediocre. God is surely going to be kind enough to attract my kind to me. So I no dey fear at all THE SAME WITH ME, I REFUSE TO LET ALL OF THESE NEGATIVITY AFFECT ME.I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO THAT SPOUSE THAT'LL MAKE ME HAPPY AND COMPLETE ME, AND WON'T WASTE MY TIME WITH EMOTIONAL MACHINERY AND PSYCHOLOGICAL TOOLS FOR WHAT HASN'T HAPPENED YET ! |
Re: 10 Realistic steps a lady should follow if she truly desires marital peace(Pics) by Nobody: 10:47am On Nov 13, 2017 |
KreativGenius: you contradict yourself. so the success of a healthy marriage is no longer hinged on the woman alone abi? |
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