₦airaland Forum

A Nigerian guy who doesn’t have 10 side-chicks on the go. Wow.

She is currently with you that means u just cummed in her , yet u don't love her.
I sincerely pity you when you will regretfully pay for all your sins and abuses

GraGra247:
Ok good, you still have some human feelings left.

My advice: Since you don't love her and definitely don't want to marry her stop wasting her time and stop sleeping with her.

Compensate her as much as you can afford and as much as will enable her to bear the loss and hold back tears and let her go.

This way she can start early to search for a man that's ready to marry her and help her bear her sorrows and lack.

If you keep staying in her life, she won't be moved to search for a life partner cos you've already deceived her and made her to fall in love with you.

you sound senseless.

So,he had to eat the girl until his last undergraduate exam before he should part ways with her.

Peeps critising this heartless op are delusional And ignoring the fact, that how a good number of men behave. Either they breakup with u face to face, or through chats or withdraw and disappear into thin air. Switching off their numbers. And always claiming busy.
So what the hell, are some hypocrites here talking about

Breakups people go thru every fucvking day, even with orphans sef.

Have had to go through tough breakups even after my parents death and my ex then didn't blink an eye to breakup.

I had to go thru another breakup when I lost Only brother and the guy dating knew but he made my. Life so miserable ,just to make me break up with him in frustration. Now this one the op is saying, is about a 19years old girlfriend , at least shes still very very young. She Will pick up the pieces later, after cursing him.

Probz:
A Nigerian guy who doesn’t have 10 side-chicks on the go. Wow.

jaykorbs:
Hi nairalanders, this is my story, don’t judge me, just advice me on a way out, there is this lady I asked out towards the end of 2016, I will be frank with you, my sole aim back then was to hook up with her and for us to enjoy sex together, basically, I was just after sex. I know nothing about the lady.

She was teaching in one primary school in my area at that point in time, I said a lot of shit back then just to get her to say yes, as I got to know her, I found out she had lost both parent at a tender age and so many other things, she has really passed through a lot, herself and her junior sister.

As time goes on, the relationship gained an exponential momentum and before I could realize what was going on, my family and friends dan sabi her, calling her my wife, let me add that she is 19 and I am 24 (just wrote my last undergraduate exam a
couple of months ago, while she is currently working at one food canteen).

Over the course of 2017, I have picked up a lot of manly lessons and have decided to set my life in order in the coming year, yes, I have dropped a lot of boyish attitude and selfish characters, I can confidently call myself a changed individual, although a lot of improvement still have to be made.

As I mentioned earlier, I have decided to set my life in order this coming year, with her being part of it, the truth is, I don’t love her, but to my understanding, she really loves me, I am currently still in this relationship because I am afraid of making her sad, I am in this relationship at the moment because of pity, she will be devasted when I break up with her, my friends are telling me not to go ahead with it, that I am about to make a big mistake if I call off the relationship, I just know I don’t love her, I very much like her, but the love to consider her for marriage ain’t there. She is beside me as I type this, I seriously need help on how to call of this relationship without breaking her spirit because she is a fighter.

move to the girl you love and you'd come back here crying. Karma is there for all.

Their story always begin with don't judge me!

Hehe the OP be sounding like me right now.. But hey! "Don't judge us"

So many odd comments here. A lot of strong emotions flying around.

U don't want 2 marry her. Don't! I feel u just took advantage of d girl. Sexual fantasy n experience. There is no perfect lady out there and you have not mentioned 1 sin she has committed against u.U just want to start a new life with Ur new status as a graduate without her after using her during your undergrad years. She was with u then .Marriage is about choiI won't force u. She is not what u want now as levels don change

@ Sophiathefirst. Chai you like cartooooooon.

sophiathefirst:
the way some people reason eeh, it marvels me, just because the op dated the girl, she is now entitled to compensation bfor break up. hmmm oo.
OP all i ve to tell u is this, is a million times better now that she still young to break up with her since u dont love her, it will be painful for her now but much more painful later if u waste her time.And since u re still starting and balancing life, i guess u dont the financial capacity to take of her n her needs. so for now focus on urself, i.e ur studies, ur future(career), self development (physical,mental,emotional and spiritual) etc. If she needs ur help, help her because she needs it, after all she is ur friend. Just remember to do on to others, what u will love others to do on to you. this will help u live a better life.

jaykorbs:
Hi nairalanders, this is my story, don’t judge me, just advice me on a way out, there is this lady I asked out towards the end of 2016, I will be frank with you, my sole aim back then was to hook up with her and for us to enjoy sex together, basically, I was just after sex. I know nothing about the lady.

She was teaching in one primary school in my area at that point in time, I said a lot of shit back then just to get her to say yes, as I got to know her, I found out she had lost both parent at a tender age and so many other things, she has really passed through a lot, herself and her junior sister.

As time goes on, the relationship gained an exponential momentum and before I could realize what was going on, my family and friends dan sabi her, calling her my wife, let me add that she is 19 and I am 24 (just wrote my last undergraduate exam a
couple of months ago, while she is currently working at one food canteen).

Over the course of 2017, I have picked up a lot of manly lessons and have decided to set my life in order in the coming year, yes, I have dropped a lot of boyish attitude and selfish characters, I can confidently call myself a changed individual, although a lot of improvement still have to be made.

As I mentioned earlier, I have decided to set my life in order this coming year, with her being part of it, the truth is, I don’t love her, but to my understanding, she really loves me, I am currently still in this relationship because I am afraid of making her sad, I am in this relationship at the moment because of pity, she will be devasted when I break up with her, my friends are telling me not to go ahead with it, that I am about to make a big mistake if I call off the relationship, I just know I don’t love her, I very much like her, but the love to consider her for marriage ain’t there. She is beside me as I type this, I seriously need help on how to call of this relationship without breaking her spirit because she is a fighter.

If she was older say 29 I like have taken her from younassume turned her life to paradise but alas I can't date someone so young .

Now to your question, in as much as I want to castigate you, it takes guts to won up to one's self the truth.

Yes you took advantage of her, yes you are now bored of her, yes she will be broken, yes it's the right thing to do.

Never stay with someone out of pity

GraGra247:
Ok good, you still have some human feelings left.

My advice: Since you don't love her and definitely don't want to marry her stop wasting her time and stop sleeping with her.

Compensate her as much as you can afford and as much as will enable her to bear the loss and hold back tears and let her go.

This way she can start early to search for a man that's ready to marry her and help her bear her sorrows and lack.

If you keep staying in her life, she won't be moved to search for a life partner cos you've already deceived her and made her to fall in love with you.

You must live in a village or you are servers poorly educated. Let me guess you sell fan yogi in traffic?

Please compensate her for what? It's your type that turn women to cheap commodities

Please if you have sisters I would like to compensate them ..

F00l

Jodha:
Yhu said it all...kudus bro...yhur type are hard to come by in this nairaland...

@ op...if yhu have lil sense/conscience left yhull listen to him...and yhu must compensate her...if not karma will surely come for yhu...

Karma ko, Kamoru ni

GraGra247:
@ jaykorbs. How can we human beings be so heartless to ourselves. I mean don't we have limits?

You knew clearly that she's lost both parents and thus life has been wicked and unfair to her yet you went ahead to tell her a lot of love lies just to have sexual advantage of her. I'm almost weeping. Why?

Your friends are telling you not to go ahead with her for what reasons really? Because she has no parents probably and is not privileged. Not that she's not good enough. She even teaches showing that she's intelligent and is making efforts.

If this girl was your sister I'm sure you will kill the man that'll use her and dump her after knowing all she's been through.

My advice: If you know you would dump that girl after lieing to her, you must compensate her heavily or the karma that will follow will refuse to be appeased.

Rent self contained for her and fully furnish it or rent a shop for her and stock it then leave by praying your sins are forgiven.

This your judgment!
Well, I concur.

This is simple arithmetic....... But your own aren't simple because u have slept with her....

Ok..... dis what u gonna do now...

1. Tell her that if any man see you asking you for marriage... Please don't scare him away... tell him I will think about it...

2. Immediately, she tells you about what she encountered on her way.... definitely u will grant her request.

3. you will use style tell her that I don't want to waste your time in this world via delay in marriage....


100% working!!!

chidichuddo:
Op thought you said u have dropped boyish attitudes



to see or get a lady to love you whole heartedly is difficult.


how can u see a diamond in a rough and ignore


if u no want I want but the issue is her heart is already taken


you might not see a lady who would love u now even as u r still in school.


better she loves you now than you doing the loving cos when woman show up eh, ur life and attitude won't be the same.

my thought exactly. You are lucky to know early that a girl loves you sincerely. If you considered her fit for sex cos she ticks the boxes physically and from your story she has good character, why not go ahead with her. I think your problem is guilt and if you make rash decision under this circumstance you will not forgive urself later. Give it time ur love for her will grow. But goodluck to you if you decide to throw your bird at hand because you think there is one in the bush. At 19, when a girl loves you she likely does so sincerely. As time passes you will start meeting those who under pressure due to age, those who just want to eat ur money and most frustratingly those that will friendzone you.

Those of us that have made this mistake never found another lady that would love us as much.

No matter what, you are going to leave her and regret it for the rest of your life.

The funny part is she may not be as satisfied with her new man always thinking about you. Some girl you love dearly will rubbish back.

No be curse o. You brought it upon yourself. Man or woman cannot understand why a person would love them so much.

Ever wonder why a loser got the best one in town?

jaykorbs:
Hi nairalanders, this is my story, don’t judge me, just advice me on a way out, there is this lady I asked out towards the end of 2016, I will be frank with you, my sole aim back then was to hook up with her and for us to enjoy sex together, basically, I was just after sex. I know nothing about the lady.

She was teaching in one primary school in my area at that point in time, I said a lot of shit back then just to get her to say yes, as I got to know her, I found out she had lost both parent at a tender age and so many other things, she has really passed through a lot, herself and her junior sister.

As time goes on, the relationship gained an exponential momentum and before I could realize what was going on, my family and friends dan sabi her, calling her my wife, let me add that she is 19 and I am 24 (just wrote my last undergraduate exam a
couple of months ago, while she is currently working at one food canteen).

Over the course of 2017, I have picked up a lot of manly lessons and have decided to set my life in order in the coming year, yes, I have dropped a lot of boyish attitude and selfish characters, I can confidently call myself a changed individual, although a lot of improvement still have to be made.

As I mentioned earlier, I have decided to set my life in order this coming year, with her being part of it, the truth is, I don’t love her, but to my understanding, she really loves me, I am currently still in this relationship because I am afraid of making her sad, I am in this relationship at the moment because of pity, she will be devasted when I break up with her, my friends are telling me not to go ahead with it, that I am about to make a big mistake if I call off the relationship, I just know I don’t love her, I very much like her, but the love to consider her for marriage ain’t there. She is beside me as I type this, I seriously need help on how to call of this relationship without breaking her spirit because she is a fighter.

You said lots of rubbish just to get her abi? Now that you have fuckd a life out of her, you want to dump her abi?
You're a very wicked and inhumane fellow. You're one of the reasons why some girls misbehaves.....
You want to dump her FOR WHO?

If you try it, may you regret all your life.
May other guys too useful and dump your sisters and future daughters in a cruel way. ldiot

jaykorbs:
Hi nairalanders, this is my story, don’t judge me, just advice me on a way out, there is this lady I asked out towards the end of 2016, I will be frank with you, my sole aim back then was to hook up with her and for us to enjoy sex together, basically, I was just after sex. I know nothing about the lady.

She was teaching in one primary school in my area at that point in time, I said a lot of shit back then just to get her to say yes, as I got to know her, I found out she had lost both parent at a tender age and so many other things, she has really passed through a lot, herself and her junior sister.

As time goes on, the relationship gained an exponential momentum and before I could realize what was going on, my family and friends dan sabi her, calling her my wife, let me add that she is 19 and I am 24 (just wrote my last undergraduate exam a
couple of months ago, while she is currently working at one food canteen).

Over the course of 2017, I have picked up a lot of manly lessons and have decided to set my life in order in the coming year, yes, I have dropped a lot of boyish attitude and selfish characters, I can confidently call myself a changed individual, although a lot of improvement still have to be made.

As I mentioned earlier, I have decided to set my life in order this coming year, with her being part of it, the truth is, I don’t love her, but to my understanding, she really loves me, I am currently still in this relationship because I am afraid of making her sad, I am in this relationship at the moment because of pity, she will be devasted when I break up with her, my friends are telling me not to go ahead with it, that I am about to make a big mistake if I call off the relationship, I just know I don’t love her, I very much like her, but the love to consider her for marriage ain’t there. She is beside me as I type this, I seriously need help on how to call of this relationship without breaking her spirit because she is a fighter.

Use sledge hammer to break it.

FrancisDozie:
I will be back to comment let me freshen up,but the poster above me is high, he should carry on with her out of pity huh, that's how people will be hiding because of what others will say and fall inside a ditch. She's not d first person to be an orphan neither will she be the last. Her lover owes her no compensation if he doesn't dig her again. You can help her since u have so much sympathy.

when your sisters and future daughters experience such...., maybe your brain will start being functional

jaykorbs:
Hi nairalanders, this is my story, don’t judge me, just advice me on a way out, there is this lady I asked out towards the end of 2016, I will be frank with you, my sole aim back then was to hook up with her and for us to enjoy sex together, basically, I was just after sex. I know nothing about the lady.

She was teaching in one primary school in my area at that point in time, I said a lot of shit back then just to get her to say yes, as I got to know her, I found out she had lost both parent at a tender age and so many other things, she has really passed through a lot, herself and her junior sister.

As time goes on, the relationship gained an exponential momentum and before I could realize what was going on, my family and friends dan sabi her, calling her my wife, let me add that she is 19 and I am 24 (just wrote my last undergraduate exam a
couple of months ago, while she is currently working at one food canteen).

Over the course of 2017, I have picked up a lot of manly lessons and have decided to set my life in order in the coming year, yes, I have dropped a lot of boyish attitude and selfish characters, I can confidently call myself a changed individual, although a lot of improvement still have to be made.

As I mentioned earlier, I have decided to set my life in order this coming year, with her being part of it, the truth is, I don’t love her, but to my understanding, she really loves me, I am currently still in this relationship because I am afraid of making her sad, I am in this relationship at the moment because of pity, she will be devasted when I break up with her, my friends are telling me not to go ahead with it, that I am about to make a big mistake if I call off the relationship, I just know I don’t love her, I very much like her, but the love to consider her for marriage ain’t there. She is beside me as I type this, I seriously need help on how to call of this relationship without breaking her spirit because she is a fighter.

In my opinion, continue with her. At least, you confessed you like her(friend) and you are sure she loves you. Your write up shows, you both understand each other.

Guy, stay with her. Because that love you are looking for don't keep marriage o. Look at the rate of divorce these days. Are you saying those couples never loved each other?

The best person you can take as your partner is your closed friend because that thing you call love will fade out by the time you start seeing the real colour of that person you claimed you love.

Guy, I know you are wise but I insist to wise up.

and I bet you will enjoy her.

It is better you settle with someone you know loves you genuinely and let the affection build in you gradually than chasing after someone who is in love with another person.

Op you will search for this genuine love like gold for many years in your life even when you're married but will not secure, not a curse but reality. Think man! But no you will not.

I'll keep saying this ten million times over to any guy i come across - the hardest people to find these days is a girl that can go to war with you, even though she knows you won't win th war. And, if you on your adventure come across one; irrespective of your love for her, treat her the way you want your daughter to be treated too.

you do not know what u have until u loose it. shikena? that sums everything up

Can a wicked heart as you're be capable of love...

You don't have love in you so how can you love

HolyTitus:
I'll keep saying this ten million times over to any guy i come across - the hardest people to find these days is a girl that can go to war with you, even though she knows you won't win th war. And, if you on your adventure come across one; irrespective of your love for her, treat her the way you want your daughter to be treated too.

phr33man:
In my opinion, continue with her. At least, you confessed you like her(friend) and you are sure she loves you. Your write up shows, you both understand each other.

Guy, stay with her. Because that love you are looking for don't keep marriage o. Look at the rate of divorce these days. Are you saying those couples never loved each other?

The best person you can take as your partner is your closed friend because that thing you call love will fade out by the time you start seeing the real colour of that person you claimed you love.

Guy, I know you are wise but I insist to wise up.

and I bet you will enjoy her.

It is better you settle with someone you know loves you genuinely and let the affection build in you gradually than chasing after someone who is in love with another person.

googi:
Those of us that have made this mistake never found another lady that would love us as much.

No matter what, you are going to leave her and regret it for the rest of your life.

The funny part is she may not be as satisfied with her new man always thinking about you. Some girl you love dearly will rubbish back.

No be curse o. You brought it upon yourself. Man or woman cannot understand why a person would love them so much.

Ever wonder why a loser got the best one in town?

rafa9:
my thought exactly. You are lucky to know early that a girl loves you sincerely. If you considered her fit for sex cos she ticks the boxes physically and from your story she has good character, why not go ahead with her. I think your problem is guilt and if you make rash decision under this circumstance you will not forgive urself later. Give it time ur love for her will grow. But goodluck to you if you decide to throw your bird at hand because you think there is one in the bush. At 19, when a girl loves you she likely does so sincerely. As time passes you will start meeting those who under pressure due to age, those who just want to eat ur money and most frustratingly those that will friendzone you.

All these quotes expresses my mind. It is better the lady loves you 100% as you said if true...but another issue is she's stilll young, maybe she hasn't gone to any higher institution self where she too may become more exposed and have a change of view about your relationship.
All the same, we can just advise and air our views but decision lies with you and you bear the consequences of your action.

GraGra247:
@ jaykorbs. How can we human beings be so heartless to ourselves. I mean don't we have limits?

You knew clearly that she's lost both parents and thus life has been wicked and unfair to her yet you went ahead to tell her a lot of love lies just to have sexual advantage of her. I'm almost weeping. Why?

Your friends are telling you not to go ahead with her for what reasons really? Because she has no parents probably and is not privileged. Not that she's not good enough. She even teaches showing that she's intelligent and is making efforts.

If this girl was your sister I'm sure you will kill the man that'll use her and dump her after knowing all she's been through.

My advice: If you know you would dump that girl after lieing to her, you must compensate her heavily or the karma that will follow will refuse to be appeased.

Rent self contained for her and fully furnish it or rent a shop for her and stock it then leave by praying your sins are forgiven.

@ the bolded, obviously, your chicken gives birth to cattle....LMAO

What is love again plz

Hope it's not those butterfly feelings u get when around a particular person.
Because I can have those for someone but will prefer to remain just friends especially if they are of questionable character. I have the ability to control my feelings unlike so many.

Love is more of a decision
A choice
To rreciprocate commitment, attention and care.
This I do only for who does it for me.

So Op
Where do u stand in this equation.
Are u sure you want to love?

I'll give you two advises


A. If you want to leave her

1. Stop having sex with her, sex will make her blind and she won't realize you are maltreating her. Also, most ladies can't stay without sex for more than six months, she will get Hot and someone else will satisfy her sexually. Most ladies can't have sex without attaching feelings to it and most ladies won't have feelings for two guys at the same time so technically she will drop you and focus on the new dude.

2. Make sure she gain admission into a university, preferable one of the best federal university we have, unilag. university of Ibadan , OAU etc they are cheaper and more efficient. Buy her a jamb form, get her a private tutor, advise her not to chose a big course, maybe just an educational course will be okay, the most important thing is for her to gain an admission into the university. Most ladies tend to change once they gain admission into university, she will never feel lonely anymore, she will make new friends and also meet better guys. She will also forget every good things you most have done for her, you might later try to remind her but she won't remember a thing. So even if you leave her at this point she won't feel lonely and she will be more optimistic about her life with the hope that she has a brighter future ahead.


B. If you don't want to leave her.

After doing all those things I mentioned above, you might eventually fall in love with her because too much sex can make you not love a lady. Also most guys prefer a university graduate or undergraduate. And now she will look more civilized with a better dress sense.

Note:
If you leave her, you might regret it, that picture of ideal wife you have in your head will shock you when you finally experience the kind of ladies we have out here. My life is an example, i'm still searching for her till tomorrow but she will never come back.

After you don scatter and widen her arena you dey come here dey yarn oops abi?