₦airaland Forum

appsdope:
Oh extra extra so she just started insulting you. She said the same thing as you. You both had an argument and you asked her to leave. although she didn't go into details. Bad mouth is the nearest synonym to women and I knew from the onset that she said a lot of nasty things. My ex girlfriend insulted me to the extent that she told me that my father was born out of wedlock. I never told her that o and I didnt know but Somehow she knew.
By the way since when did get the hell out of my house become a joke? How will we know if you meant it? She bought the land and started the project so how on earth are you supposed to own the property? The house shouldn't be in your name in the first place. The property is hers. Rent an apartment and move your family that's if you still want the marriage. As for the house, it belongs to her. Go and build your own. As for me, I cant stay in a house where a woman bought even the spoon. Because when you use that spoon to eat and there is an issue, she will tell you how that spoon she bought has been saving your life forgetting that you bought every other thing.

appsdope:
Girl? I'm a married man but my wife uses the acct cos she is a freelancer. My wife is not uncultured Biko although sometimes she tends to say heartbreaking stuffs to people.

Look, I support women who start their own businesses. Folorunsho Alakija won't be a billionaire if she was building in she and her husband's name. A man and his wife should own separate businesses and finances so that family finances will be very easy to manage. A financial buoyant woman is a huge blessing to her husband.. I support he sees all to own her own business and make investments. There is nothing like what belongs to me belongs to my wife and vice versa. Contribute ur own quota to the family and I'll contribute mine. If she had invested her own share of the money I'm sure we won't be reading this or if she had done the business alone. OP the success a family does Tommy depend on the woman. Thoughts like this makes fathers day boring. How can u let ur wife do 99% of the home making. What exactly do u do? Oga ur ego is too much. So u think that court will let you take the children and live with them? Biko iron out things and live happy.

MarieSucre:
lol So all the stories we see on nairaland nko. Where men beat and abuse their wives because they're the ones who feed and clothe them, those are all women doing those things in men clothes.

appsdope:
Girl? I'm a married man but my wife uses the acct cos she is a freelancer. My wife is not uncultured Biko although sometimes she tends to say heartbreaking stuffs to people.

Look, I support women who start their own businesses and have their own money. Folorunsho Alakija won't be a billionaire if she was building in she and her husband's name. A man and his wife should own separate businesses and finances so that family finances will be very easy to manage and we can really have the best. A financially buoyant woman is a huge blessing to her husband.. I support heseesall to own and build in her name. It's her sweat Biko. There is nothing like what belongs to me belongs to my wife and vice versa. Contribute ur own quota to the family and I'll contribute mine. That way we can give our kids the best. If she had invested her own share of the money I'm sure we won't be reading this or if she had done the business alone. OP the success a family does not only depend on the woman. Thoughts like this makes fathers day boring and makes it look like men are only in the family for funds. How can u let ur wife do 99% of the home making. What exactly do u do? Oga ur ego is too much. So u think that court will let you take the children and live with them? Biko iron out things and live happy.

AmazonTopaz:
So you know all the ladies on nairaland?And what their characters are like outside this forum?
Oga keep quiet.Traditional man ko modern man ni.

monchazfarms:
Both husband and wife are guilty.The money wasn't supposed to be shared at all.They should have used some of the money to solve the father's health problems and the other for the building.Sharing the money shows they are not one and have a hidden agenda in the union.The most crafty one here is the woman,for making the man realize how irrelevant he is to her.She doesn't trust the man at all.

iboboyswag:
Hmmm... Not to enter into an argument or derail but if you are not (no name mentioned) but her husband... then i must say i don't envy you but commend you. Your "wife" has a very nasty reputation online, she is known to be insulting at the slightest wimp of a disagreement and it often leaves me wondering how she will be like in the real world.

She has quarrelled with more people i know online than I can imagine doing and the amusing part of it is that, it is usually for petty issues and she often fires the first volley of insults, creating a scene where their is none (in her words... i don't care how anybody sees me).

No Offence "Bro" but sometimes these stuffs bite when nobody sees and people least expect.

That aside anyway!

The problem is not sharing finance or living together as one in everything, the main issue is creating a divide by dividing things and responsibilities. In marriage, the maths is 1 + 1 = 1.

However illogical it may seem but the fact the partners seek to divide finance, responsibility et al creates a crack in the marriage than most people know... it creates unwarranted expectations that when not met can lead to more trouble ahead.

The man is too proud for his own good... He is trying very hard to prove a point that don't exist. The woman may have acted cunning (which is subjective and speculative) but in this matter now, the man needs to get off his high horse and rescind all these unattainable conditions.

Loves wins in the end!

A part of me feels the man is a boy with a chequered view of marriage (you know... those marriages of 1940).

utenwuson:
u didn't get the gist,

the woman literally was abusing his poor parents cos she s from a well to do background, the genesis of this problem is just cos the guy spends his own share on his sick parent, which the girl wasn't happy about openly.
and that was why the girl didn't say anything in her submit about what lead to the altercations between them cos everyone was gonna blame her... she just stated that it was a heated argument" and concentrated in the park out of my house stuff...

I so love the guy decision and that's the best to fix back his sanity..... he s not enjoying it but it's a hard decision he have to take.
let her eat the house.

ExtraExtra:
...YES i said she should put my name only cos she belittled and betrayed me which tells me if it was in both our names she will raise shoulder and feel above me.YES i requested for transfer and i will go through with it, i cannot be away from my kids and still be in the same state, it doesnt make, when it is sucessful, i will get a place conducive amd comfortable for my kids, they will be with me. I told her recently not to bother with the name change anymore, she can have the house all to herself for all i care.

I wont divorce her because i dont believe in that , once i move with the kids she can come along if she wants but right now we are seperated. I wanted a partner, she displayed stupidity not smartness, what the future holds i dont know, she made her bed she should lay on it.

TooNoisy:
2. You get another place and she moves in with you while she continues to rent out her own house. It is her house.

monchazfarms:
Both husband and wife are guilty.The money wasn't supposed to be shared at all.They should have used some of the money to solve the father's health problems and the other for the building.Sharing the money shows they are not one and have a hidden agenda in the union.The most crafty one here is the woman,for making the man realize how irrelevant he is to her.She doesn't trust the man at all.

appsdope:
Oh extra extra so she just started insulting you. She said the same thing as you. You both had an argument and you asked her to leave. although she didn't go into details. Bad mouth is the nearest synonym to women and I knew from the onset that she said a lot of nasty things. My ex girlfriend insulted me to the extent that she told me that my father was born out of wedlock. I never told her that o and I didnt know but Somehow she knew.
By the way since when did get the hell out of my house become a joke? How will we know if you meant it? She bought the land and started the project so how on earth are you supposed to own the property? The house shouldn't be in your name in the first place. The property is hers. Rent an apartment and move your family that's if you still want the marriage. As for the house, it belongs to her. Go and build your own. As for me, I cant stay in a house where a woman bought even the spoon. Because when you use that spoon to eat and there is an issue, she will tell you how that spoon she bought has been saving your life forgetting that you bought every other thing.

teemy:
@TonyeBarcanista, doesn't this lovers' quarrel remind you of one novel back in days of a man who felt his wife from a rich home was overbearing and decided to split his twin girls for several years. I can't remember the book title but the names Miatta and Toubu Lafaya come to mind. Almost like Deja Vu.

BIXYBABE:
Nairalanders didn't break their home. Na his wife bring up d matter and people comment due to wat she post, though with different point of views

Nihilstjnr:
If you think abuse is the reason for this mess, you're clearly in denial or deluded.

The alleged abuse is a symptom of the a much deeper malaise in the marriage - the wife had clearly recognised her husband's capability for greed and cruelty.

If you're able to analyse properly, you can see that at every stage, this woman took steps to protect her investment because she knows who she married.

They made money together, but hubby decides he wants to use joint profits to fly his dad out of the country for medical treatment, as well as build a house for his parents. The woman realises that this man is ready to take full control of, and squander their joint funds, so she demands a split.

A sensible man with kids would know that his first priority is to his kids and would have first focused on putting a roof over his children's head. Instead he left his kids under rain and went to build a house for his parents. No surprise he walked away from those kids in the end.

Next, the woman builds the house in her name, again because she knows who she married. If you genuinely think that it's a mere coincidence that the man tried to order her out of the house, then I have a bridge to sell you.

Think about it, the man is claiming to be annoyed that the deeds weren't in both their names, yet he stold her to get out of a house, where as far as he knew at the time, she was listed as a co-owner anyway.

This is a guy who wasn't concerned about her rights in the first place, and the woman clearly recognised these tendencies and took steps to protect her neck.

Steps that have been justified in the end.

I believe there's a lot that hasn't been said yet, but if you think that her insulting his parents is what triggered this wahala, then mehn...you're inexperienced in life.

Nihilstjnr:
A man can fly abroad with his father, but walk away from his kids at the drop of a hat.

He can build a home for his parents with his money, but contribute only a little towards housing his own family.

That sounds like someone who's preoccupied with being a child...Instead of being a father.

That's even beside the point. What is clear to me is that the woman saw this coming and wisely protected her investment.

when you consider that:
1. he tried to kick her out of the house and
2. he's now demanding full ownership of a house he admits to contributing very little to.

it's obvious that her move was justified.

Sensible people will be asking how she was capable of such foresight... I'm sure in her heart of hearts, she knew since day 1 that she was married to a monster.

PrecisionFx:
.

Stop translating from Google, All u typed looked like Igbo, But its not Igbo.

I expected that u won't point the things I asked because of ur mental issue.

Clan ndi Ozodimgba laa gi na ugwu onyeama.

Wallade:
Oga! If I am in your shoes, my conclusion will be:

She has betrayed my trust in her and I will find it difficult to trust her anymore.

She has revealed the treacherous, cunning and wicked part of her. This is not because she built a house for herself and whoever but because all along, she made that decision to be sole title owner of the property and hide that fact from you; without knowing how foolish you are, you must have been spending your money on her, perhaps her family, your family, children and some frivolous things without knowing you have no house.

That she has the property in her name only puts up a question about trust. However, that she hid it from you shows treachery and wickedness. That she revealed it to you and weaponized it against you I indicated that she can be devastating, heinous and absolute when she decides to decimate and eliminate you.

My guy, beware of this woman! Instead, run away for dear life. There is no need to get her to change title of the property because she will start several other plans to decimate and outsmart you anyway. She doesn't trust you and I believe you know now that you shouldn't trust her.

It is a difficult decision but you will have to take a decision despite my advise which you can discard at your own risk.

sisisioge:
See life! The most shocking aspect of this story is his absolute belief in his own fairness. She should change the title to his name alone! Chai! I strongly believe in husband and wife teaming o but this is pure day light fraud

freshvine:
houses built with a man name alone are willed to either the wife or her children. a win win situation for the women

MizMyColi:
Succinctly put!

ExtraExtra:
Women are the backbone of the family, they make or mar the home, since they help bring life to the world suffice it to say they sum up what we call family, 99% of successful, longlasting home or family is the ability of the woman to hold the "forte".

My attention was drawn to this forum and this topic https://www.nairaland.com/4617351/husbands-pride-wants-ruin-home#69371294 and it is sad that most people drew conclusion on a one sided story though i wouldnt blame those involved because they judged based on what was said and the individual involved needed public validation for her wrong doing, a public display i dont approve of but since external persons and relations are already involved i'd like to clear some details.

"Dee" comes from a very well to do family while i dont so when we got married, i made her feel we are in this together, not one above the other but as partners in EVERYTHING. To be fair to her she brought up the business idea we did years ago, in other to put forth money to start up, i made sure i had equal money as her for it, goal was to own a property, build et al. Unfortunately my dad's ailing health deteriorated to the extent that he had to be flown out, when the profit came, i told her and she agreed, she decided we split it into two so she use hers for the initial plan. As the first born i went with my dad, back here she got the property and started building, when i came back the remaining money with me was used to complete it, what was left was used for my parents house. Being a trust worthy person i feel she is, i didnt bother to check documents cos i felt she would do the right thing by putting both our names which she kept in a bank.

Now, i work and own other businesses so i'm always in contact with alot of people from both genders so to her she feels i may have lost guard by cheating which is not true: i dont have password on my phones, i always make and receive calls right in front of her but she still think i'm hiding something and that was the genesis of the problem weeks ago, i rebuked her to cut it out immediately but she was out for blood, she insulted me like never before, when i didnt give her face, she extended her TOXIC words to my parents, my family, my background and my personality, that was when i lost it, if not for my cousin that was there i would have hit her, out of anger i told her to get the hell out of the house which of course i didnt mean, then she shocked me saying the house is ONLY in her name, i was numb and speechless, in other for me not to react in a brutal way i left the house, told her i would never step there again if she doesnt change it to my name ONLY. My cousin who was there when it happened told my people, they called me so i had to explain things, right now her family knows what happened and none is supporting her.

YES i said she should put my name only cos she belittled and betrayed me which tells me if it was in both our names she will raise shoulder and feel above me.YES i requested for transfer and i will go through with it, i cannot be away from my kids and still be in the same state, it doesnt make, when it is sucessful, i will get a place conducive amd comfortable for my kids, they will be with me. I told her recently not to bother with the name change anymore, she can have the house all to herself for all i care.

I wont divorce her because i dont believe in that, once i move with the kids she can come along if she wants but right now we are seperated. I wanted a partner, she displayed stupidity not smartness, what the future holds i dont know, she made her bed she should lay on it.

ExtraExtra:
Women are the backbone of the family, they make or mar the home, since they help bring life to the world suffice it to say they sum up what we call family, 99% of successful, longlasting home or family is the ability of the woman to hold the "forte".

My attention was drawn to this forum and this topic https://www.nairaland.com/4617351/husbands-pride-wants-ruin-home#69371294 and it is sad that most people drew conclusion on a one sided story though i wouldnt blame those involved because they judged based on what was said and the individual involved needed public validation for her wrong doing, a public display i dont approve of but since external persons and relations are already involved i'd like to clear some details.

"Dee" comes from a very well to do family while i dont so when we got married, i made her feel we are in this together, not one above the other but as partners in EVERYTHING. To be fair to her she brought up the business idea we did years ago, in other to put forth money to start up, i made sure i had equal money as her for it, goal was to own a property, build et al. Unfortunately my dad's ailing health deteriorated to the extent that he had to be flown out, when the profit came, i told her and she agreed, she decided we split it into two so she use hers for the initial plan. As the first born i went with my dad, back here she got the property and started building, when i came back the remaining money with me was used to complete it, what was left was used for my parents house. Being a trust worthy person i feel she is, i didnt bother to check documents cos i felt she would do the right thing by putting both our names which she kept in a bank.

Now, i work and own other businesses so i'm always in contact with alot of people from both genders so to her she feels i may have lost guard by cheating which is not true: i dont have password on my phones, i always make and receive calls right in front of her but she still think i'm hiding something and that was the genesis of the problem weeks ago, i rebuked her to cut it out immediately but she was out for blood, she insulted me like never before, when i didnt give her face, she extended her TOXIC words to my parents, my family, my background and my personality, that was when i lost it, if not for my cousin that was there i would have hit her, out of anger i told her to get the hell out of the house which of course i didnt mean, then she shocked me saying the house is ONLY in her name, i was numb and speechless, in other for me not to react in a brutal way i left the house, told her i would never step there again if she doesnt change it to my name ONLY. My cousin who was there when it happened told my people, they called me so i had to explain things, right now her family knows what happened and none is supporting her.

YES i said she should put my name only cos she belittled and betrayed me which tells me if it was in both our names she will raise shoulder and feel above me.YES i requested for transfer and i will go through with it, i cannot be away from my kids and still be in the same state, it doesnt make, when it is sucessful, i will get a place conducive amd comfortable for my kids, they will be with me. I told her recently not to bother with the name change anymore, she can have the house all to herself for all i care.

I wont divorce her because i dont believe in that, once i move with the kids she can come along if she wants but right now we are seperated. I wanted a partner, she displayed stupidity not smartness, what the future holds i dont know, she made her bed she should lay on it.

Saff:
When you try to explain yourself but still end up sounding ridiculous anyways. Your thread proves to us that your wife is right. Drop your ego, it won’t get you far in life.

Biggest downfall of a man is his ego. It blocks so many blessings, and it’s blocking yours. You’re blessed and you don’t even know it smh.

gaby:
Tough call this is for sure where the first mistake was sharing profit from a joint business with your wife as a business partner. This was wrong in my opinion and served as the precursor to what you guys have here.

After the business deal, you guys could have simply both taken out an amount for family and personal upkeep, while you as the head proceed with the housing project as a unit.

You goofed big time bro by asking her to leave the house and this goes to justify her having one over you because she seemed to have studied and predicted you'd tow that line someday-which, unfortunately, came to pass.

From experience, when some women insult you and give you names, you won't even know when you'd pick up a rope and do the needful on yourself, so I can give the benefit of the doubt on the 'leave the house' order but certainly not justifying it even if the house where to be solely on your name. That's the definition of narcism.

Hope you guys find a middle ground around this, while you relegate your ego to the back-burner.

Peace guys.

appsdope:
Lol! I'm more concerned with his ego. He thinks divorce is a child's play. The woman knows what kind of person he is which is why she did what she did. He thinks this is 1940 like u said. He can't win this. If I were him, we'll be looking for an apartment by now although my kind of person won't say get out. I'll leave and spend days out. When we trash things out, we'll need to move out of that house. Ego doesn't add anything to the family. It will only seperate us further. The girls family is well to do and I get the point he's trying to make but this has gone too far. I won't even write anything online if I were him. I'll just stay on my lane.