₦airaland Forum

Ishilove:
Aunty, speak for yourself and stop your satanic generalisation.

Why does the truth hurt your soul so passionately ?

Malawian:
Marry a second wife and bring the new one into your matrimonial home. watch the magic playout.

Supported.
But from his post here on nairaland, he sound too weak to handle such.
Think about his life first.

mankettle:
@ Op.
1. keep the evidence.
2. don't tell the wife.
3. Since you have proof that your wife is committing adultery,, a. if you can tolerate her, don't divorce her if not get a divorce. get a lawyer to advise you.
4. if getting a divorce you can sue the colleague as the named party. if you are lucky, the Judge may award damages to you.
5. on no account must you arrest him as the offence he committed is purely civil and not criminal? except you stay up north.
6. do not allow the wife to loose her job as it will affect your finances.

follow you heart or continue to eat shit for finance

Oga, Run for your life ooh, only God can save you now. Its clear she doesn't love you.

yettymuse:
I hope it's same when the table is turned. When the husband is caught cheating. I hope your culture gives the same lashes and death sentence to the wife that stays put with a cheating spouse.

Will you just stop supporting nonsense.

sorry to say, but you goofed a big time. I will never tolerate any woman to cheat on me. pls divorce her as soon as possible so that she will not kill you one day in attempt to cover up her escapades.

you have proof that a woman is cheating on you, and you still live in the same roof with that woman? you are a mugu

except you have been sleeping with married women, if not, divorce her fast. she can not change. A HOE IS ALWAYS A HOLE

YOUR WIFE IS A HOE-SELLER

mysaviouralive:
Hello Admin pls move this to the front page and I will be in the comment section reading.

Pls I want to take a boldness step and I will not mind where it can lead to. I have to open an account now to post this. My wife is also a guest of nairaland and she will be seeing this post.

It happen that I got married to my wife over Nine yrs ago and we only have a Kid. I was working in a big company then before the new management came in and change the policy of the company and I was laid off. I was idle like 3yrs before I got another job. she is working in one of the biggest bank in Nigeria. Like 5yrs ago I noticed she will be smiling whenever she is chatting with one of her male colleague. I ask what are they normally discussing, but she told me that it was their office issue that they are discussing. I know the guy and his family and the guy has came to my house not more than four times.

It happen one day that I demanded to give her phone to browse because I was having problem with my phone. she gave me the phone around 10:30pm and I noticed she has has cleared all their chat. This make it look suspicious and I asked her immediately that why did you deleted the chat, but she told me it was a mistake. I think over it for sometime because I trust her then, but on the other hand my mind was telling me to find out more. As an IT expert I connected her phone to my system and do some forensic research on the phone, alas what I discovered was bad. My wife and the guy have been having an affair and chatting and sending their nude to themselves. I called her immediately and demanded to explain the pixture but she denial it and was telling me another story that she snap the pixture and to show me how she was Hot so that we can have sex that night.

she said I should show her where I got the nude pixs and before she came back from the office she has wipe all the pixs that I showed her thinking that I cannot recovered it anymore and I asked her why should you do that but was just begging me. I recovered all the pixs back and the chat she believe she has deleted and I have more proof that she has been cheating on me.

So I asked her to tell me the truth what is going on with the guy and her but she was just begging me. But I told him I dont want her to do or have anything with the guy again that if I catch her again she will not like what I will do for her, with the hope that she will change. Recently I noticed she stil chatting with the guy again and I rake on her to stop it but she told me that she was just explaining office issue she has when he (the guy) not around because she is the one that relief him on work.

This week they are still chatting late in the nite cos I always seen the chat, though she will delete it as soon as they chat finish but I always have the chat and also today they have chat alot to the extend that my wife was crying when she expecting good reply from the guy but the guy fail him and I noticed she has intimate with the guy rather than me her husband.

My wife can lie and so Promiscuous. I have called her severally to change but she did not, recently I heard she was talking with one of her online friend from Abuja when the guy told her he will be coming to visit her this coming week, and I expect my wife to tell me but uptill now she has not saying anything on it. This make me not to have much trust in her again because if she tell me something I will still think over it like five times again before I accepted.

So my plan now is to call the wife of her colleague and explain everything to the wife and I also planing of arresting her colleague because I still have the proof and dont mind what can come out of this, because I tired and cant continue like this anymore, ever since I have caught her I did not enjoy my home anylonger and I tried to erase it from my memory but not get it wright.

Pls save me and save my marriage if possible.

Thank you.

I feel for your man, this is really a painful situation. But I'm sorry to say this, OP you sound so weak I can tell from your write-up. One thing you should know is that a cheating wife is capable of killing her husband, the more she goes deeper in this promiscuous act the more she get carried away hence she could do anything for her secret-lover.

Why would want to arrest her colleague? So if your wife is cheating with other men, would you arrest all of them? Did you by any chance find out that her(male) colleague forced your wife or harass her into this capricious act? Your cheating wife deliberately accepted to cheat on you with her colleague.

If you really want her to stop cheating, then you need to act like a man. Call her parents/important family members and show them the evidence of their promiscuous daughter after doing that, then give her the final warning the day you catch her again will be the last time she will bear your surname(except if you're not a man enough or she is the breadwinner you will be afraid to do this)

I'm sure her close family will warn her and do the needful, arresting her colleague is a waste of time and shows how weak you are as the man of the house.

Op, it is a pity you are in this mess and still hanging on and too, trying to get her stop her cheating attitude in order to forgive her but still, she does not want. Note that you do not have a wife but pure prostitute that cannot change. You are even in great danger now as she could go for your life in order to keep to her affais with the said guy. That is what most of these female bank workers does. Are you even sure the guy is the only one in her life? Before we hear a story that touches the heart, since you have evidence,seek for a divorce because what you have is a time bomb and one cannot tell when it can go off. Only a living soul that can praise God. You are in danger. Take a walk.

oh God I really feel for this man. had it been it was just boyfriend- girlfriend stuff it would have been better at least he'll just lay her off. married with a kid and yet she has refused to grow up. my advise is that he should report to the other guy's wife with evidence but before that he should call a general family meeting especially with his wife's parents. this is really pathetic. if she doesn't change, divorce is the only option cos cheaters hardly change except they catch a serious disease like HIV

Op sands plenty for your English o

In my little experience in a relationship with a cheat, they never change... Once you notice a partner has cheating tendencies, just start thinking of ways to discard her out of your life..

You can't redeem her, she can't change , Infact she don see you finish

The ball is in your court , but one thing I know certainly is that she will never change...

mysaviouralive:
Hello Admin pls move this to the front page and I will be in the comment section reading.

Pls I want to take a boldness step and I will not mind where it can lead to. I have to open an account now to post this. My wife is also a guest of nairaland and she will be seeing this post.

It happen that I got married to my wife over Nine yrs ago and we only have a Kid. I was working in a big company then before the new management came in and change the policy of the company and I was laid off. I was idle like 3yrs before I got another job. she is working in one of the biggest bank in Nigeria. Like 5yrs ago I noticed she will be smiling whenever she is chatting with one of her male colleague. I ask what are they normally discussing, but she told me that it was their office issue that they are discussing. I know the guy and his family and the guy has came to my house not more than four times.

It happen one day that I demanded to give her phone to browse because I was having problem with my phone. she gave me the phone around 10:30pm and I noticed she has has cleared all their chat. This make it look suspicious and I asked her immediately that why did you deleted the chat, but she told me it was a mistake. I think over it for sometime because I trust her then, but on the other hand my mind was telling me to find out more. As an IT expert I connected her phone to my system and do some forensic research on the phone, alas what I discovered was bad. My wife and the guy have been having an affair and chatting and sending their nude to themselves. I called her immediately and demanded to explain the pixture but she denial it and was telling me another story that she snap the pixture and to show me how she was Hot so that we can have sex that night.

she said I should show her where I got the nude pixs and before she came back from the office she has wipe all the pixs that I showed her thinking that I cannot recovered it anymore and I asked her why should you do that but was just begging me. I recovered all the pixs back and the chat she believe she has deleted and I have more proof that she has been cheating on me.

So I asked her to tell me the truth what is going on with the guy and her but she was just begging me. But I told him I dont want her to do or have anything with the guy again that if I catch her again she will not like what I will do for her, with the hope that she will change. Recently I noticed she stil chatting with the guy again and I rake on her to stop it but she told me that she was just explaining office issue she has when he (the guy) not around because she is the one that relief him on work.

This week they are still chatting late in the nite cos I always seen the chat, though she will delete it as soon as they chat finish but I always have the chat and also today they have chat alot to the extend that my wife was crying when she expecting good reply from the guy but the guy fail him and I noticed she has intimate with the guy rather than me her husband.

My wife can lie and so Promiscuous. I have called her severally to change but she did not, recently I heard she was talking with one of her online friend from Abuja when the guy told her he will be coming to visit her this coming week, and I expect my wife to tell me but uptill now she has not saying anything on it. This make me not to have much trust in her again because if she tell me something I will still think over it like five times again before I accepted.

So my plan now is to call the wife of her colleague and explain everything to the wife and I also planing of arresting her colleague because I still have the proof and dont mind what can come out of this, because I tired and cant continue like this anymore, ever since I have caught her I did not enjoy my home anylonger and I tried to erase it from my memory but not get it wright.

Pls save me and save my marriage if possible.

Thank you.

if u chase d guy or arrest.what abt the others u dont know probably or she will still encounter.lol u re leaving d nyash dat mess then knocking d head.ur wife is a cheat and she is the one u need to change.if u cant change her mindset then let her go.infact u have tried changing it nd she refused.then let her go and taste d other side of life.as a woman.she will be in her early 30's or late.and a single mother.lets see if that her love will take her in as d second wife.then she has lost her family while d guy is still with his

[quote author=yankison post=70418315][/quote]as respect to her family. two wrong can't make a right

Great talk, this is simple your wife have seen another husband and you still wasting your time with her for what, be wise bro no time, you are looking at her money and you don't want to react. Welcome to danger ahead.


author=patani post=70408284]Sometimes I wonder why some men come to nairaland to ask for advice after catching their wives pants down. Can’t you man up for once @OP? Even bible(the holiest of all books ) said you can put your wife away on the ground of infidelity.
Hear this, a cheating wife is a killer.

My simple advise, don’t bother arresting the other guy, that’s a waste of time. Simply take your son and move on dude.[/quote]

My brother the truth is staying in a house with your wife who is involved in an adulterous affair can be killing .it damages man's sanity.in fact it difficulty living in same house.however, I suggest you seek for restraining order , till you figure out exactly what you want.

mysaviouralive:
Hello Admin

...

Thank you.

Sir, your English is very bad.

Thank you.

yettymuse:
Divorce is not even an option because the devil you know is better than the angel you don't know. You just have to make your marriage work. I hate to hear about cheating causing dissolution in marriages or relationships.

By the way your wife could be flirting and not cheating completely... Are you still doing those things you were doing during courtship? 9 years is a long time and trust me you must have begin to adopt the mama and papa style. When was the last time you both went for a dinner, movies, walk, vacation...?
Do you even still remember to call your wife sweet names?? Some foot massage after a hectic day?... Raunchy whatsapp message whilst at work?, breakfast in bed.... Little gift, lingeries, etc..

How's is your sex life? Do you communicate your fantasies and cravings? , when was she last time she got an orgasmic gift and said "THANK YOU"! Hunku you're married so no limits, no boundaries... Set everything on fire!

Maybe your marriage needs a rejuvenation, we sef dey get bored sometimes..

Reignite 'em romantic spark and set the atmosphere on fire. Instead of snooping, change your mode of dressing, stay trim and fit, wear a clean hair cut and smear some cologne mix n match.

If all this doesn't work, pray and watch WAR ROOM, please watch this movie and your marriage would be back to how it was.

Some of you women can be so foolish. So because you do not do all those fantasy thing u did to woo your wife mean she should be fucqing around.

Madam, you need a plank to your head. Without any iota of remorse you no fit get sense forever.

pocohantas:
Exactly!!!
A wise man buildeth his home...

OP, please follow this advice. Don't listen to all these alphas that would tell you to divorce your wife. They want you to be an unhappy bachelor like them!

A wise man build his home that fucq around town. I can’t even comprehend the “foolishry” am reading on NL.

You don't have a wife ....simple

yettymuse:
Divorce is not even an option because the devil you know is better than the angel you don't know. You just have to make your marriage work. I hate to hear about cheating causing dissolution in marriages or relationships.

By the way your wife could be flirting and not cheating completely... Are you still doing those things you were doing during courtship? 9 years is a long time and trust me you must have begin to adopt the mama and papa style. When was the last time you both went for a dinner, movies, walk, vacation...?
Do you even still remember to call your wife sweet names?? Some foot massage after a hectic day?... Raunchy whatsapp message whilst at work?, breakfast in bed.... Little gift, lingeries, etc..

How's is your sex life? Do you communicate your fantasies and cravings? , when was she last time she got an orgasmic gift and said "THANK YOU"! Hunku you're married so no limits, no boundaries... Set everything on fire!

Maybe your marriage needs a rejuvenation, we sef dey get bored sometimes..

Reignite 'em romantic spark and set the atmosphere on fire. Instead of snooping, change your mode of dressing, stay trim and fit, wear a clean hair cut and smear some cologne mix n match.

If all this doesn't work, pray and watch WAR ROOM, please watch this movie and your marriage would be back to how it was.

that is the Nigerian makes problem ! They will develop big 9 month belle and be deceiving themselves that as long as they provide wives shouldn’t care about what they look like !

FORGIVE HER FIRST...

Then inform her family of the mess.

Inform the other mans wife and the family of the mess,

This is not a case of adultery alone, but also lack of love. This most times is irreparable.

Keep good relations with her for your child’s sake but stay away from sexual relations with her - cos that can affect you in many ways.

And the child, it’s gonna be hurting but one day he too will understand how bad it feels to spend the rest of his life with a woman who doesn’t love him.

So do not die young - go find love elsewhere.

Remember there is no police, begging or forgiveness necessary for someone who simply doesn’t love you!

cruchenutii:
You are obviously a youth with an old soul I guess, you may be probably be going thru reincarnation

Point out something I don't know

Pataricatering:
take your son and move on ? Lol ! Some guys still think we are still in the Stone Ages when men could behave anyhow ? He is “ their” son and either they come to a reasonable arrangement or the court will decide !

Lol, keep living in fools paradise.. As long as he stays in Nigeria, he has the right to his son. Unless he is a pussy man.....

mukhcech:
Wife privacy? What kind of Mimi talk be this.

Yes ! A wife has a right to her privacy , so does the husband !

victorian:
Behind this moniker lies a man not a woman. No woman will say such senseless thing. Perhaps u are from the pit of hell, sent on earth to destroy homes.
What a waste of a human being u are.

But what she said is so true...

tiredoflife:
U go die like fowl
U catch ur wife dey cheat
U get evidence
She still dey cook u dey chop
U dey Bleep am
Na warn u dey warn am
U must be Yoruba
So I no surprise
I am urohobo
For my culture say u don know and u still dey chop her food and Bleep am
She still dey ur house
Eriwi our juju for don knack u down
By now maggot go don chop u so that the guy can continue

U are a useless man
Forming u love ur wife there till she kills u all in the name of sex and say na self defence

No wonder una dey die like fowl
Keep warning her
Ode

E no go better for u

I wonder why you are so pained ! Your wife might be doing or do the same thing , lol ! It sounds so personal ! Lol

Marriage is overrated!

oglalasioux:
Whatever you do she will find someone else to cheat with. Divorce her and stay single. Marriage is not for reasonable human beings.

Report them to the said Bank they're working. when both loses their job, their brain and destiny will reset.

yettymuse:
I hope it's same when the table is turned. When the husband is caught cheating. I hope your culture gives the same lashes and death sentence to the wife that stays put with a cheating spouse.

dont mind them ! This is karma biting them in the ars! You cheat , cheat , cheat and then your wives cheat back you will now start crying like a bitxh! Ode!

mysaviouralive:
Hello Admin pls move this to the front page and I will be in the comment section reading.

Pls I want to take a boldness step and I will not mind where it can lead to. I have to open an account now to post this. My wife is also a guest of nairaland and she will be seeing this post.

It happen that I got married to my wife over Nine yrs ago and we only have a Kid. I was working in a big company then before the new management came in and change the policy of the company and I was laid off. I was idle like 3yrs before I got another job. she is working in one of the biggest bank in Nigeria. Like 5yrs ago I noticed she will be smiling whenever she is chatting with one of her male colleague. I ask what are they normally discussing, but she told me that it was their office issue that they are discussing. I know the guy and his family and the guy has came to my house not more than four times.

It happen one day that I demanded to give her phone to browse because I was having problem with my phone. she gave me the phone around 10:30pm and I noticed she has has cleared all their chat. This make it look suspicious and I asked her immediately that why did you deleted the chat, but she told me it was a mistake. I think over it for sometime because I trust her then, but on the other hand my mind was telling me to find out more. As an IT expert I connected her phone to my system and do some forensic research on the phone, alas what I discovered was bad. My wife and the guy have been having an affair and chatting and sending their nude to themselves. I called her immediately and demanded to explain the pixture but she denial it and was telling me another story that she snap the pixture and to show me how she was Hot so that we can have sex that night.

she said I should show her where I got the nude pixs and before she came back from the office she has wipe all the pixs that I showed her thinking that I cannot recovered it anymore and I asked her why should you do that but was just begging me. I recovered all the pixs back and the chat she believe she has deleted and I have more proof that she has been cheating on me.

So I asked her to tell me the truth what is going on with the guy and her but she was just begging me. But I told him I dont want her to do or have anything with the guy again that if I catch her again she will not like what I will do for her, with the hope that she will change. Recently I noticed she stil chatting with the guy again and I rake on her to stop it but she told me that she was just explaining office issue she has when he (the guy) not around because she is the one that relief him on work.

This week they are still chatting late in the nite cos I always seen the chat, though she will delete it as soon as they chat finish but I always have the chat and also today they have chat alot to the extend that my wife was crying when she expecting good reply from the guy but the guy fail him and I noticed she has intimate with the guy rather than me her husband.

My wife can lie and so Promiscuous. I have called her severally to change but she did not, recently I heard she was talking with one of her online friend from Abuja when the guy told her he will be coming to visit her this coming week, and I expect my wife to tell me but uptill now she has not saying anything on it. This make me not to have much trust in her again because if she tell me something I will still think over it like five times again before I accepted.

So my plan now is to call the wife of her colleague and explain everything to the wife and I also planing of arresting her colleague because I still have the proof and dont mind what can come out of this, because I tired and cant continue like this anymore, ever since I have caught her I did not enjoy my home anylonger and I tried to erase it from my memory but not get it wright.

Pls save me and save my marriage if possible.

Thank you.

Joblessness is bad!
Your wife is now your project
Maybe you can go and see if FBI is hiring

yettymuse:
Divorce is not even an option because the devil you know is better than the angel you don't know. You just have to make your marriage work. I hate to hear about cheating causing dissolution in marriages or relationships.

By the way your wife could be flirting and not cheating completely... Are you still doing those things you were doing during courtship? 9 years is a long time and trust me you must have begin to adopt the mama and papa style. When was the last time you both went for a dinner, movies, walk, vacation...?
Do you even still remember to call your wife sweet names?? Some foot massage after a hectic day?... Raunchy whatsapp message whilst at work?, breakfast in bed.... Little gift, lingeries, etc..

How's is your sex life? Do you communicate your fantasies and cravings? , when was she last time she got an orgasmic gift and said "THANK YOU"! Hunku you're married so no limits, no boundaries... Set everything on fire!

Maybe your marriage needs a rejuvenation, we sef dey get bored sometimes..

Reignite 'em romantic spark and set the atmosphere on fire. Instead of snooping, change your mode of dressing, stay trim and fit, wear a clean hair cut and smear some cologne mix n match.

If all this doesn't work, pray and watch WAR ROOM, please watch this movie and your marriage would be back to how it was.

Beautiful piece you have typed but I don't agree.
1) infidelity is the only ground for divorce(every other thing can be managed), after divorce it is not complusory to remarry. After divorce the heart is not as committed as the first marriage as you brace up for thses situations.
2) there is no line between flirting and cheating.(well depending on how you define cheating) best to stay away from both.
For most people trust is like an egg once broken it's best you fry it.
Best thing is to flee from all forms of adultery and if you must let it just be a lay far from home & void of any emotions and constantly think about the repercussions. Constant thoughts about repercussions kill all these urges

Bros,
If I would advise you as a brother,this is gonna be my message.

I never forget for one second any hand that have helped put food on my table,no matter what they do once it’s not life threatening.

For 3 good years she was the Mr of the house without you mentioning that she change to Mrs Idi Amin.

Because if things change for 3 years no be 3 months ohhhhhh,if any woman can be keep the ball rolling for 3 years. Please for this and any other good qualities that you know,but will not mention now because you are angry.

If you can’t hold the relationship,as I am not even advising you to keep it. The decision is solely on your side to work on keeping it or not.


Safe her the shame,internet will always remember. Even when your work is over here. Experts say it's unlikely they can scrub the web clean of every embarrassing photo or video — not in our hyper-connected, sharing-obsessed culture.

"The bad news for anyone who has been outed — the Internet does not have a delete button...

Copy the nigger..... tell am say Karma is a fu**** bitch and always serves cold.

But please don’t post not pictures online... NO

If you are here,Madam too is here ...... and she 2 don see say kassala wey she arrange don gas.