₦airaland Forum

Earthbound:
I don't know which is more stupid. Waiting four years to tell a girl you like her or spending three hours professing your love without action.


Ritylove, you can learn to love him. You trust him already so it should be easy. Give it a try. It just might be the best decision you ever made.

ritylove:
i feel so guilty after hearing everyword he said

ritylove:
I am a very gregarious or rather should i say a social individual,i keep alot of company but my actual real friends circle is pretty small,i actually never bought this male bestie of a thing from the onset because i felt it was thrash and irrelevant to me, i was satisfied with my girlfriends around,but during my 100 level in the university there was this particular guy i met then i was still a fresher i never knew much about the school he helped me alot with my clearance,getting a place to stay,showing me around school with alot of stuffs too numerous to mention here.

As time goes on suprisingly we started getting very close much more closer than i ever expected he was very nice and caring to me,sometimes he acts like my dad he is the only male friend i have who dares scold me in my wrong doings as time goes on before i could even realize it he was the closest to me among all my friends he was always there for me when i needed someone even when i dont he was there. We became so close i started confiding in him alot,i even told him stuffs i cant tell my mum we got so close he knows almost everything about me,everyone av dated,whom am dating,my breakups,my sex life,my kind of guy,my attitude towards dating,how i reason, even before saying something he has an idea of what am about to say,this guy knows my girlcode to the freaking core there is hardly anything i can hide from him,he has being of great assistance to me always forcing me to read my books and forget social medias,the truth is that he is the major reason for my drastic improvement academically, i was always at the receiving end,there is hardly anything i do for him yet he stayed i realized i needed him more than he needed me.


it all started few days ago as usual we just left from an eatery store heading back home he decided to drop by my place to charge his pc which he was using for his finals project work since there area had light issues,fast forward to when we got home there it goes we were talking as usual then all of a sudden he started saying stuffs how he feels about me all this while but only kept it to himself after hearing him speak for almost 3hours i was totally confused i didnt say anything i just starred at him the whole time till he finished ,noticing my silience he then asked me what i had to say about what i just heared,i had no idea on what to say i was totally confused i have never seen him this serious my entire life,in an attempt to escape the moment and look on his face i told him to give me sometime to dissolve all what i have heard after which he left.

Now am put in one of the most difficult situations i have ever being he is a very nice person,one of the nicest guys i have met yet he treats me better than anyone else, he treats me better than anyone am dating words can hardly explain i like him alot but i dont think i love or have any feelings or so for him this a guy who waited almost 4yrs to ask me out,a guy who knows me better than all my friends,i feel this guy knows too much and am scared he might use that against me one way or the other after all he has done for me i feel i owe him more, i cant look him in the eyes and tell him that i dont love him,i dont want to hurt his feelings and i dont want to loose him either cux he is my bestfriend i dont want to look like the bad person in front of everyone else but pleasing him here means displeasing myself i dont know what to do anymore cux i dont want to hurt anyones feeling, have being avoiding his calls and text cux i dont know what to say please i need a sincere and modest advice here what can i do in this situation i dont want anyones feelings getting hurt.

Sheuns:
This has happened to most guys. It's the truth. That's why it's advisable to never ask a lady for friendship first if you wish to have a romantic relationship later on. Just tell her from the onset so she knows where you're driving at. Not forming one nice and caring friend shit.

generationz:
please stop telling anybody everything about yourself. its dangerous.



aren't we told to marry our Best friends?



I see this as a result of your immaturity (no offense dear) you are still in the university , by the time you graduate and date more guys you'll realize that not all that glitters is gold.


There's a difference between an Hollywood movie script/ mills and boons novels and reality

this. my dear is reality


when a person becomes too available and ' too there' for us they become undesirable

The guy made a mistake in the art of seduction 101


Right now because of the love he has shown you and his over availability there's nothing left to the imagination again instead of seeing him as Romeo you see him as the elder brother you never had.

if a man can know all your trash and nonsense, good and bad , and after four years still say girl I love you then that man truly loves you.



tell me dear


his he ugly, perhaps you are attracted to handsome guys

his he short? perhaps you are attracted to tall guys

his he poor ? perhaps you are attracted to rich guys

his he soft ? perhaps you are attracted to bad guys.


during those four years has he had a girlfriend? because I know we ladies love guys who many
girls want for one reason or the other. its not our fault but a thing of genetics and desirability.




I know your dilemma . He doesn't fulfil your desire in a man.

Seriously how couldn't you see a guy likes you withing four years of knowing him. if its me within a few days of knowing someone I'll know if he likes me,is a players or doesn't even like me.


its in the words, the extra care, the eyes ,the body language etc.



please don't date anyone out of pity


with the time you are taking to think about it , change your thinking pattern . Ask for more time off if its possible. Tell him the time off is for you to make a sound judgement devoid of emotions.



maybe it will even be all through his exams and his final year project so he can focus on that.


not seeing him can make you desire him more.

now reconfigure your brain. start seeing him as a man you can spend your life with . think of how good he has been to you and compare him to your exes in each aspect. see him as desirable too.


If you both were lost on an island and he was the only man there for you to procreate with will you do it? your first reaction to this (in your brain) will tell if there's even a slim chance of being with him.

love isn't a mushy feeling o


love is in action. The mushy feeling you have for someone you just met is infatuations.

eg we love our parents a lot and appreciate them. that doesn't mean every time we see them we have butterflies in our bellies.


so to help yourself you must reconfigure your brain.


it would be a shame if after rejecting him you realize after many years that you should have accepted him and it's too late. I've heard too many stories like this.


trust me attraction is secondary when it comes to choosing a life partner.

the important things include

His spiritual life ( if you are spiritual)

can he take care of you (not only materially ,but emotionally and maybe spiritually ,)

his genotype

his family background . this is very important because if at the end of it all both families don't approve then relationship don scatter be dat. you must know if his family is one you can be married into.


If he ticks all these buttons please hold on to him o finding someone that meets everything like this is rare.

Homeboiy:
Foolish girl, He was even talking for 3 hrs without your response .


I don't blame you, I blame the useless guy that's forming Mr nice guy

Girls like you should be used for yahoo rituals


Ewu Cotonou


onye iberibe

mhizsuzzy:
You just got urself a follower...Such great wisdom ma, you must be a voracious reader or Can it be experience?

mhizsuzzy:
You just got urself a follower...Such great wisdom ma, you must be a voracious reader or Can it be experience?

Homeboiy:
Foolish girl, He was even talking for 3 hrs without your response .


I don't blame you, I blame the useless guy that's forming Mr nice guy

Girls like you should be used for yahoo rituals


Ewu Cotonou


onye iberibe

ritylove:
I am a very gregarious or rather should i say a social individual,i keep alot of company but my actual real friends circle is pretty small,i actually never bought this male bestie of a thing from the onset because i felt it was thrash and irrelevant to me, i was satisfied with my girlfriends around,but during my 100 level in the university there was this particular guy i met then i was still a fresher i never knew much about the school he helped me alot with my clearance,getting a place to stay,showing me around school with alot of stuffs too numerous to mention here.

As time goes on suprisingly we started getting very close much more closer than i ever expected he was very nice and caring to me,sometimes he acts like my dad he is the only male friend i have who dares scold me in my wrong doings as time goes on before i could even realize it he was the closest to me among all my friends he was always there for me when i needed someone even when i dont he was there. We became so close i started confiding in him alot,i even told him stuffs i cant tell my mum we got so close he knows almost everything about me,everyone av dated,whom am dating,my breakups,my sex life,my kind of guy,my attitude towards dating,how i reason, even before saying something he has an idea of what am about to say,this guy knows my girlcode to the freaking core there is hardly anything i can hide from him,he has being of great assistance to me always forcing me to read my books and forget social medias,the truth is that he is the major reason for my drastic improvement academically, i was always at the receiving end,there is hardly anything i do for him yet he stayed i realized i needed him more than he needed me.


it all started few days ago as usual we just left from an eatery store heading back home he decided to drop by my place to charge his pc which he was using for his finals project work since there area had light issues,fast forward to when we got home there it goes we were talking as usual then all of a sudden he started saying stuffs how he feels about me all this while but only kept it to himself after hearing him speak for almost 3hours i was totally confused i didnt say anything i just starred at him the whole time till he finished ,noticing my silience he then asked me what i had to say about what i just heared,i had no idea on what to say i was totally confused i have never seen him this serious my entire life,in an attempt to escape the moment and look on his face i told him to give me sometime to dissolve all what i have heard after which he left.

Now am put in one of the most difficult situations i have ever being he is a very nice person,one of the nicest guys i have met yet he treats me better than anyone else, he treats me better than anyone am dating words can hardly explain i like him alot but i dont think i love or have any feelings or so for him this a guy who waited almost 4yrs to ask me out,a guy who knows me better than all my friends,i feel this guy knows too much and am scared he might use that against me one way or the other after all he has done for me i feel i owe him more, i cant look him in the eyes and tell him that i dont love him,i dont want to hurt his feelings and i dont want to loose him either cux he is my bestfriend i dont want to look like the bad person in front of everyone else but pleasing him here means displeasing myself i dont know what to do anymore cux i dont want to hurt anyones feeling, have being avoiding his calls and text cux i dont know what to say please i need a sincere and modest advice here what can i do in this situation i dont want anyones feelings getting hurt.

You don't love him with all his nice qualities and the way he treats you but you love all those other guys who treat you far less than he does. ?

What do you women really want?

Is love all about romantic feelings and emotions, rather than qualities and personality?

Most people never appreciate what they have until they lose it.

I still blame the guy for not laying his cards clearly on the table from the beginning, instead of acting BROTHER and FATHER to a girl for four years before telling her what he really wants.

IamPlato:
...


Can You Please Shut Up With The "Nice Guy" shiit?


If I Love A Girl, I Can Never Make Her A Close Friend I Will be Advicing like I'm Her Father. Am I Mad?


The Guy Made A Big Mistake because When It Comes To Ladies this Is How It Ends When You Make Yourself a Brother And Father bullshiit...


Too Much Of Everything Is Bad. He Has Given His All To You. You Don See Am Finish... No Mystery About Him, he Has Been The Nicest fvck up Nigga...


Dont Waste His Time, tell Him You Dont Love and Dont Forget To Add "I See You As My Elder Brother". He Can Go And Kill Himself If thats The Solution

ritylove:
the only thing i feel here is pity i feel he wasted his time and resources on me but still i dont want loose a good friend

generationz:
please stop telling anybody everything about yourself. its dangerous.



aren't we told to marry our Best friends?



I see this as a result of your immaturity (no offense dear) you are still in the university , by the time you graduate and date more guys you'll realize that not all that glitters is gold.


There's a difference between an Hollywood movie script/ mills and boons novels and reality

this. my dear is reality


when a person becomes too available and ' too there' for us they become undesirable

The guy made a mistake in the art of seduction 101


Right now because of the love he has shown you and his over availability there's nothing left to the imagination again instead of seeing him as Romeo you see him as the elder brother you never had.

if a man can know all your trash and nonsense, good and bad , and after four years still say girl I love you then that man truly loves you.



tell me dear


his he ugly, perhaps you are attracted to handsome guys

his he short? perhaps you are attracted to tall guys

his he poor ? perhaps you are attracted to rich guys

his he soft ? perhaps you are attracted to bad guys.


during those four years has he had a girlfriend? because I know we ladies love guys who many
girls want for one reason or the other. its not our fault but a thing of genetics and desirability.




I know your dilemma . He doesn't fulfil your desire in a man.

Seriously how couldn't you see a guy likes you withing four years of knowing him. if its me within a few days of knowing someone I'll know if he likes me,is a players or doesn't even like me.


its in the words, the extra care, the eyes ,the body language etc.



please don't date anyone out of pity


with the time you are taking to think about it , change your thinking pattern . Ask for more time off if its possible. Tell him the time off is for you to make a sound judgement devoid of emotions.



maybe it will even be all through his exams and his final year project so he can focus on that.


not seeing him can make you desire him more.

now reconfigure your brain. start seeing him as a man you can spend your life with . think of how good he has been to you and compare him to your exes in each aspect. see him as desirable too.


If you both were lost on an island and he was the only man there for you to procreate with will you do it? your first reaction to this (in your brain) will tell if there's even a slim chance of being with him.

love isn't a mushy feeling o


love is in action. The mushy feeling you have for someone you just met is infatuations.

eg we love our parents a lot and appreciate them. that doesn't mean every time we see them we have butterflies in our bellies.


so to help yourself you must reconfigure your brain.


it would be a shame if after rejecting him you realize after many years that you should have accepted him and it's too late. I've heard too many stories like this.


trust me attraction is secondary when it comes to choosing a life partner.

the important things include

His spiritual life ( if you are spiritual)

can he take care of you (not only materially ,but emotionally and maybe spiritually ,)

his genotype

his family background . this is very important because if at the end of it all both families don't approve then relationship don scatter be dat. you must know if his family is one you can be married into.


If he ticks all these buttons please hold on to him o finding someone that meets everything like this is rare.

Tamarapetty:
I don't know whether the guys on this thread wants u to date the guy out of pity With the way they are reacting upandan. Love shouldn't be forced. He has a great personality and good qualities. But don-t tell him 'i don't love u ' oh. I-m already heart broken for the guy sef

Why do most people assume the guy waited for 4 years. There's a huge probability that he also dated alot of slaymamas until hin start to dey ask himself, why hin dey chase all this others girls when the girl that he already knows and trust inside-out is available. When two people are that close, one person will definitely develop feelings at some point. Its possible baba just started catching feelings in his final year when long term goals and maturity started setting in.

ritylove:
the only thing i feel here is pity i feel he wasted his time and resources on me but still i dont want loose a good friend