Chascop:
Having a Female as a Best friend is like having Chicken for a pet, You will eat it some day- Pete Edochie.

Dear OP, he's not a bestie but a long time admirer who's set to unleash his desires and make it official

Amberon11:
Dumbass fool

iwatch:
You can get out of friendzone by disappearing from her presence for long.

Let me tell you. I have this lady I met on here, I told her what I wanted, even up to "wifeying" her, straight to the point, no games. Talked about her to my friend and my brother... the usual evil spirit descended on her and she called me too emotional, too reactive, too sensitive... and above all desperate. All these because I was too truthful, real and friendly.

Oh well, I sha disappeared from her presence and never called nor text ( she actually asked me to stop these at the peak of a quarrel)... fast forward to almost 3 months of no call, text or buzz from me, my phone rang and it was her. guess what? she was saying I dont call her anymore. I refused to call her still for over 2 weeks now.

The closeness between them is too much and when you are too available, this is what you get.

Danpersie31:


so far u have given the best response ..lemme keep reading comments..

@ritylove. bone that shit u spitting abt not loving him. love passes with time and time passes with love. u have the best gift u could ever ask 4 in a guy. it could even result in marriage and trust me it will b d best union.ur husband should be ur partner , it best friend and u have that now.if u lose it trust me God will drop ur case for a very long and leave u to ur own fate. don't just lose that guy no matter what. he knows ur strengths and weaknesses yet still sticks with u for 4 years. come what feeling are u waiting to find?

udemzyudex:


Exactly.

ritylove:
...

Draei:
Seems this one is mentally unstable. A guy with all the good qualities you mentioned isn't good enough for you to date?

But you rather prefer wasting your time with another niggur that ain't even half as caring as he is?

Total bullshiit, some girls need their brains to be examined one after the other. It's pointless saying more to the Op.

ykalhaji:
This is a learning situation for all the guys in tbe friendzone with girls. No one is saying don't get into the friendzone, there are sometimes you like a girl so much you can't help but be in the friendzone, but don't ever ever make the stupid mistake of doing what this guy did by taking the easy way out by telling her your feelings and hoping your friendliness over the years will seal the deal. Women love to be wooed, surprised and sometimes unsure of things. There is a phrase called confirm "ete" (lips in yoruba language) women and men lie but the lips never lie. When you guys are alone and at an emotional point go in for the kiss, commit 100% to it. If she pulls back immediately, guy nothing for you ever, if she kisses back and then pulls back she is unsure, don't apologize, wait for her cue, because at that moment you have taken yourself out of the friendzone, she will now always think about you while thinking about how she felt when she kissed you, you now have her curiosity, which will definetly either kill the cat or your stupid one-sided friendship or she might just enjoy the kiss so much she continues to kiss you. Either way it helps her decide quickly.

ritylove:

1stNumeroUno:
OMG!

This epistle because somebody ask you out?

Just say YES or NO my dear... something more serious is boiling out there - NASS is under siege!

Odunharry:

Very confused. I'm sure she's very young. Maybe in her early twenties or mayb Teenage sef who knows.

That's how many gals always do. I'm sure she want to have fun and hang around bad boys, then when it's time to settle down, settle for a good guy.

generationz:


She already stated how the guy has been there for her through thick and thin in 4years.


Except he has a sinister plan


Kindness and integrity is important

For a Guy that knows so much about you to still be Head over heels in love says a lot.

ykalhaji:


Madam, you are young so you won't be able to grab on to this once in a lifetime opportunity. Tell him the truth, he is your bestie, so I am sure he knows already but just wanted to see if tgrir is a glimmer of hope somewhere for him but I will ask you to do him a favor because I doubt he will be strong enough to do it himself, let the friendship die a natural death. Make new friends, stop depending on him, hang out with him in the company of other female friends. If he is a strong guy, he will be able to move on and find his own queen but don't get too jealous when that happens or he starts a relationship with one of your friends that sees the opportunity that your emotions will not let you grab on to. If you guys are meant to be, there is always the future.

Blonchilli:

Bros the guy pocket nor weigh. I could see through her story. She's gushing about the boy's character but can't date him. TF! If that guy has a great car, large money in the bank and lives in a breathtaking apartment she won't need Nairaland advice. That Kanye West and Jamie Foxx song comes to mind

Magicdon:
my dear, d best thing that can happen to you is to date n marry your best friend. From the story you write down, he is your close and best friend. Four years? so what? You have known each other so well. Give him a try I will say to you dear.Your body language says you have a guy you are seeing. my guess though. Say yes to him. You won't regret it. Forget whether hr took four years to open up to you. He is the bomb for you. Don't tell him you taking him as an elder brother. common open your eyes and see he is your dream man. Don't need any soothsayer. Good luck

iwatch:
she is young and still want to be free. I know girls are age are like that. if she miss this one, she will never find a man close to this guy... they don't come so easily and I know it cos i am almost like the dude.

generationz:


you are almost like the guy?

so has any of your former girlfriends or female friends comeback begging you for a second chance.

iwatch:


very well... she even offered sex, which I refused. These days her brother told me that any time he tells her we chatted, her countenance changes...

She even went as far as wooing me to have me back...

Though due to my experience after her and subsequent ones, I have resorted to hiding that nice guy a bit.

A girl messed up when I showed her that side called me desperate, too emotional and all whatnot, says I should stop the unnecessary calls and text. I obeyed and stayed on my line... For 3 months now with no calls, text or chat from me..

Out of the blue, she calls and asking why I don't call her anymore and some other things I wasn't really interested in.

I am too busy. The fact that we some times do silly things cos of the love or affection we have for lady, does not me we can't change. If we change, you may never get to see that nice side again, but that also depends on how you nurtured and handled the nice side of a guy.

Now the part where I say I am almost like the dude is, if I really like a girl and mean well for her... I take my time before asking her out and I don't care if she had dated any guy I know of, just like one that happened during my nysc lol...

You see, like some persons were saying dude took too long. What happened to the ones that didn't take long before speaking up? Where are they in her life now? Of course the op is not a virgin and she has had more than 3 body count by now(just saying), and I am sure the guys she had it with didn't waste their time in wooing her... So where are they now?

Like the NYSC chic, I delayed before opening up to her towards the end of our service, well I didn't get accommodation on time and so a guy got in before me. Till this day, I am the one who still check up on her while the other guy has moved on since. Above all, she is a very good and nice lady... Awesome wife material but her problem is she doesn't seems to make good choice when picking a guy to date. She doesn't know how to move out of a relationship that doesn't favour her... And clock is ticking against her already.

generationz:



hmm no offence but I tend to be quite suspicious of people who tell me with their mouths that they are nice people ( bad experiences)

the truth is we can't be too careful


what works for A doesn't work for B

I had a room mate very sexy lady
she and her boyfriend could stay on calls for up to 14 hours in a day almost everyday (no joke)

it became quite irritating that even the other roommates her friend used to ask ' what is it you people are always talking about sef'
however the guy has such a hold on this lady. She hardly ever goes out he checks her every move and he isn't even around Lagos sef. when she went for a wedding they quarreled on phone because he kept asking.


However at the initial stage maybe you should try to tone the calls down. don't go changing from being frequent to not being . for example when you call let your missed call be only one. nothing more than that. let the calls be rare.
chat more on WhatsApp.

make the chats very short and precise too
this is for when you have started dating her. not before.


That lady you said she came back was is when you started making cash because the desperation na wa

iwatch:
Well, the first lady i talked to about to be wooing me was the first and last person I ever spent time calling... subsequent ones hardly got my call, well, you guess right... i turned out to be the opposite of what she had in mind when were dating.


Yeah the second one who called not long ago, we chatted a lot... but that is past now sha... I am best of both worlds. Just let me know which one you want and I will serve it cold and chilling. not every girl gets much of my attention sha... if you get it so much that i spend more than enough time with you, you are lucky but abusing it will never resurrect it thereafter.

I had hidden though... I just thought may be one girl out there will be different and not feel awkward about getting too much attention but I am wrong.... so hence forth, no girl gets it anymore, not even my wife.

The current girl I hung out with after the one that called me recently only get my chat like once a week and calls are like once in 2 weeks....

generationz:



did she complain