Now that I have your attention lol. I knooooow you all are probably slammed with these questions all the time but I thought I’d give it a shot.

I’m from America and I met this guy...he’s Nigerian of course...completely random...on a dating site (a complete random Christian dating site at that). Initially I didn’t realize where he was from until he asked if we could talk via Facebook. SO I was like of course...he gave me his name and though it was a common Nigerian name (I learned this AFTER getting to know him) I still didn’t realize he lived in Nigerian until I asked him where he was from and...bam! He’s in a whole other country.

So here I’ve been getting to know this guy...I’m really into him and he’s in another country. Of course as soon as I google international dating regarding someone in Nigerian NOTHING but red flags pop up (which is so unfair that an entire country has such a bad name when it comes to dating internationally) BUT I am 7 years older than him, he is still in college and it makes me wonder...could this be a scam? Is he going to eventually ask me for something?

My question is how in the world do you really know? Is there anyone currently dating internationally I can connect with? It would just be nice to have someone who can relate to my situation and also some insight on what to look for if one thought they were being scammed. All I’ve seen is they ask for money, they won’t talk to you on the phone or video chat and they use fake identies BUT that’s literally not the case as he doesn’t ask for money and we talk on the phone as video chat frequently. THE only odd thing he did was tell me he loved me VERY fast because he “wanted to make his intentions known” (that’s when I began my googling and found this site).

HELP A SISTA OUT!!! [color=#770077][/color]

You date someone for their personality not just where they come from. If you think we date you ladies for your monies then you are greatly mistaken, intact if you need cash, come let me spoil you silly with money.

Obviously...I don’t think he’s dating me for my money because I have none lol and he knows that. But even though I sense a little meaness in your post...I appreciate it. Sometimes we need people to tell us how stupid we sound.

You are right to worry, even though it's unfair that Nigerians have been given a bad name, worrying about things in a relationship is justified.
Money is not the only thing that could be involved In these situations, but it goes without saying that you should never promise to give what you don't have.

He might not be after your money, what he's after is an opportunity to leave Nigeria and legally stay wherever you are for good. Then he'll forget about you!

ak475:
He might not be after your money, what he's after is an opportunity to leave Nigeria and legally stay wherever you are for good. Then he'll forget about you!

But do they realize it’s really not that simple? And who could live a lie for such a long period of time. I guess that’s the scary part in dating this way is there really is no way to tell on either end rather or not something is sincere.

Thank you both for your responses!!

Fe2018:
Obviously...I don’t think he’s dating me for my money because I have none lol and he knows that. But even though I sense a little meaness in your post...I appreciate it. Sometimes we need people to tell us how stupid we sound.

You don't think he is dating you for money, so why come here they disturb us na? You should trust your man, not everyone in Nigeria is poor. Some have enough money they don't need yours they just need love.

Have any white girl you can connect me with yo?

ak475:
He might not be after your money, what he's after is an opportunity to leave Nigeria and legally stay wherever you are for good. Then he'll forget about you!

Oboi na WA for you o. Weiten make you they spoil the girl mind na? All these devilish attitude make una try stop am for this nairaland. Imagine if your fellow guy man tell your girl this kind thing about you. How you go feel?

No matter the advice you are given here, the fact remains that they can never be 100 percent right. Meanwhile, if the guy was sincere in telling you where he is from at the onset as well doing video call with you, then he may not be a scam. Scammers like to operate with fake identity.

Just have the courage to go the extra mile with him if your mind doesn't suspect anything. Some people have married through Facebook and it won't stop or change anytime soon.

"The intentions of a man’s heart are like deep waters,
But the discerning man draws them out" Prov. 20:5

What ever his intentions are, if you show insight, with passage of time, it will be clear. You don't have to be too suspicious or too relaxed.

If you are into him, give him a chance.

long distance add more difficulty to already challenging practice of dating. Yet it can work.

No scammer operates with fake identity if they need you to aid their travels, the 7yrs age difference is already a red flag.They all start with FAKE sincerity for you to gain their trust,and you're falling for him already. Good luck!

Ire2:



Oboi na WA for you o. Weiten make you they spoil the girl mind na? All these devilish attitude make una try stop am for this nairaland. Imagine if your fellow guy man tell your girl this kind thing about you. How you go feel?

Guyman some people just dey very bitter & them want other people to be like them.. Na the babe no get sense when come NL dey find advice

Fe2018:
Obviously...I don’t think he’s dating me for my money because I have none lol and he knows that. But even though I sense a little meaness in your post...I appreciate it. Sometimes we need people to tell us how stupid we sound.

Let me be honest with you.
You're what we call our sugar mummies from the other side, The guy wants your dollar!
I can fill that place in your heart sha, just get me to the US

Lucifer66:

Let me be honest with you.
You're what we call our sugar mummies from the other side, The guy wants your dollar!
I can fill that place in your heart sha, just get me to the US

How can LUCIFER be relocated to the US from NIGERIA....??
GOD forbid.
HELL is your portion, remain there

How old are you?....

dairykidd:


Guyman some people just dey very bitter & them want other people to be like them.. Na the babe no get sense when come NL dey find advice

As in ehn. The life na chop I chop. For us to move forward some people also have to move forward to another level so they can help pull up us to that level! That's why we all gotta be one. Nor fit blame the babe sha she think say na saints full here nor know say most na dark souls

Fe2018:
Now that I have your attention lol. I knooooow you all are probably slammed with these questions all the time but I thought I’d give it a shot.

I’m from America and I met this guy...he’s Nigerian of course...completely random...on a dating site (a complete random Christian dating site at that). Initially I didn’t realize where he was from until he asked if we could talk via Facebook. SO I was like of course...he gave me his name and though it was a common Nigerian name (I learned this AFTER getting to know him) I still didn’t realize he lived in Nigerian until I asked him where he was from and...bam! He’s in a whole other country.

So here I’ve been getting to know this guy...I’m really into him and he’s in another country. Of course as soon as I google international dating regarding someone in Nigerian NOTHING but red flags pop up (which is so unfair that an entire country has such a bad name when it comes to dating internationally) BUT I am 7 years older than him, he is still in college and it makes me wonder...could this be a scam? Is he going to eventually ask me for something?

My question is how in the world do you really know? Is there anyone currently dating internationally I can connect with? It would just be nice to have someone who can relate to my situation and also some insight on what to look for if one thought they were being scammed. All I’ve seen is they ask for money, they won’t talk to you on the phone or video chat and they use fake identies BUT that’s literally not the case as he doesn’t ask for money and we talk on the phone as video chat frequently. THE only odd thing he did was tell me he loved me VERY fast because he “wanted to make his intentions known” (that’s when I began my googling and found this site).

HELP A SISTA OUT!!!

how old are you? are you white or black?

Fe2018:


But do they realize it’s really not that simple? And who could live a lie for such a long period of time. I guess that’s the scary part in dating this way is there really is no way to tell on either end rather or not something is sincere.

Thank you both for your responses!!

I wouldn't take most of the comments here to heart 'cause this site is where frustrated people with broken dreams come to vent. Even the guy that just told you your boyfriend wants to use you for permanent stay and then dump you, would also jump at the opportunity to date a foreigner if he's ever lucky.

Please don't judge him based on our online reputation. It's really bad. I suffer the same fate when working with foreigners too but some have come to trust me and what I do. So please give him a chance, until you notice a redflag.

Eyaaaah

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I can relate.

ak475:
He might not be after your money, what he's after is an opportunity to leave Nigeria and legally stay wherever you are for good. Then he'll forget about you!

u be enemy of progress? u won spoil her mind? u know weda the guy serious abt her?
just imagine ur terrible n horrible post .
bad belle

Fe2018:
Obviously...I don’t think he’s dating me for my money because I have none lol and he knows that. But even though I sense a little meaness in your post...I appreciate it. Sometimes we need people to tell us how stupid we sound.

Honey, let me give it to you straight. There isn't any answer to your question because the truth is, this is a fifty fifty thing. He could be for real or not be for real. No one knows. All we gonna say is...

You just be careful.
Watch out for any red flags....
Once you see one, cut all communications immediately.

However, go in with an open mind.
You never can say when you'll get love OK. Just flow .
I wish you all the best. Amen

EVILFOREST:

How can LUCIFER be relocated to the US from NIGERIA....??
GOD forbid.
HELL is your portion, remain there

Says the guy named evil forest.

Admin401:


I wouldn't take most of the comments here to heart 'cause this site is where frustrated people with broken dreams come to vent. Even the guy that just told you your boyfriend wants to use you for permanent stay and then dump you, would also jump at the opportunity to date a foreigner if he's ever lucky.

Please don't judge him based on our online reputation. It's really bad. I suffer the same fate when working with foreigners too but some have come to trust me and what I do. So please give him a chance, until you notice a redflag.

TRUST ME...I’ve been on this site a while reading things and I’ve seen how some people can be straight up rude and some completely supportive. I came here because there is a culture difference and I wanted advice from perhaps people who are dating or have dated a Foreigner.

There is SO much to this but honestly the only difference in dating someone from another country and someone from another state in my country is the Visa process. A man here could use me just as much as a man there.

And for those asking...I’m 31 and I’m black.

Again I definitely appreciate the positive responses I’m receiving and even the negative lol!! I don’t want anyone to feel I’m judging the people of Nigeria because I’m not. If anything meeting him has exposed me to a culture I would have never thought to learn about and I’m enjoying that...but I also don’t want to be an idiot and waste my time.

Fe2018:


TRUST ME...I’ve been on this site a while reading things and I’ve seen how some people can be straight up rude and some completely supportive. I came here because there is a culture difference and I wanted advice from perhaps people who are dating or have dated a Foreigner.

There is SO much to this but honestly the only difference in dating someone from another country and someone from another state in my country is the Visa process. A man here could use me just as much as a man there.

And for those asking...I’m 31 and I’m black.

Again I definitely appreciate the positive responses I’m receiving and even the negative lol!! I don’t want anyone to feel I’m judging the people of Nigeria because I’m not. If anything meeting him has exposed me to a culture I would have never thought to learn about and I’m enjoying that...but I also don’t want to be an idiot and waste my time.

I love Afri-Murican women. Were you able to 23 & me your linage to find out what part of Africa your parents/grand parents are from?

Imagine the twist if he turned out to be your cousin. Would make for a good Nigerian movie

dingbang:
You date someone for their personality not just where they come from. If you think we date you ladies for your monies then you are [i][/i] GREATLY MISTAKEN, intact if you need cash, come let me spoil you silly with money.

WTF r you spewing? You trying to attempt to try repair our international image or the local one??!! Or are you reading or lifting from a textbook? Isn't our Constitution written in a book. Isn't the Bible a book? Are you loving all your neighbors. Don't you know how common is it that a mechanical engineer always use the services of a mechanic for both simple and complicated things in Nigeria? Was he ever opportune to be part of a research team? Or need I mention that you don't have to know how to analyze Simple DC or AC circuits to conduct deliverance session on Power Sector to cater for190 million of Nigerians!!!!! All you have to do is get your law degree ,grow along that career path and jump into any management course and jump out and that my lost friend is a requisite to hold 'sensitive' positions in Nigeria even though people like you are in the thousands but why call it sensitive in the first place.
Even the most sensitive of all no longer requires a Certificate..., Show ur Nepa bill and you are good. However though , the system is very faithful in little things... Federal ,state and private placement; you must not be more than 28 year by Dec 1, you must possess 10 to 15 working experience, no flat toe...et cetera.

RUBBISH

Does the title 'Prof. Dash Dash, Department of Electrical Electronic Engineering' still mean anything?...
Politrics I hail thee...


95% of dating is not about personality, at least anywhere in the world that reeks of third degree poverty and hunger. ( GREATLY MISTAKEN?? abaaa!)


Mind you I am not a mind reader to tell what the boy is after... If the young lag has got friends , it's only a matter of time before they reprogram him stereotypically.

ak475:
He might not be after your money, what he's after is an opportunity to leave Nigeria and legally stay wherever you are for good. Then he'll forget about you!

I hates you for corrupting this lady's mind about Nigerians

Uglymugg:


I love Afri-Murican women. Were you able to 23 & me your linage to find out what part of Africa your parents/grand parents are from?

Imagine the twist if he turned out to be your cousin. Would make for a good Nigerian movie

Lol ummmm...we are good in that aspect...my people are from Jamaica.

All these guys here telling op that the guy is using her for papers pwease and pwease dont spoil a nigga's hustle.

Fe2018:
Now that I have your attention lol. I knooooow you all are probably slammed with these questions all the time but I thought I’d give it a shot.

I’m from America and I met this guy...he’s Nigerian of course...completely random...on a dating site (a complete random Christian dating site at that). Initially I didn’t realize where he was from until he asked if we could talk via Facebook. SO I was like of course...he gave me his name and though it was a common Nigerian name (I learned this AFTER getting to know him) I still didn’t realize he lived in Nigerian until I asked him where he was from and...bam! He’s in a whole other country.

So here I’ve been getting to know this guy...I’m really into him and he’s in another country. Of course as soon as I google international dating regarding someone in Nigerian NOTHING but red flags pop up (which is so unfair that an entire country has such a bad name when it comes to dating internationally) BUT I am 7 years older than him, he is still in college and it makes me wonder...could this be a scam? Is he going to eventually ask me for something?

My question is how in the world do you really know? Is there anyone currently dating internationally I can connect with? It would just be nice to have someone who can relate to my situation and also some insight on what to look for if one thought they were being scammed. All I’ve seen is they ask for money, they won’t talk to you on the phone or video chat and they use fake identies BUT that’s literally not the case as he doesn’t ask for money and we talk on the phone as video chat frequently. THE only odd thing he did was tell me he loved me VERY fast because he “wanted to make his intentions known” (that’s when I began my googling and found this site).

HELP A SISTA OUT!!! [color=#770077][/color]

lol, run for your life! ����

Fe2018:


Lol ummmm...we are good in that aspect...my people are from Jamaica.

Alright Jamaican blood, mi affi tell you one ting, Nigerian men di best out there, unu.