₦airaland Forum

Like your mother.

Boxer007:
Being gay is best sir. Women are useless. Preach

There is my dear. Don't let the actions of people make you feel love doesn't exist.

chiagozien:
There is nothing like love.

I dont believe in it.

valdes00:
Getting married to such lady is the same as man utd employing mourinho as coach.. ask their fans now, they are suffering for it...

lawd...

Boxer007:
Being gay is best sir. Women are useless. Preach

Living in bondage

AGideon:
Well.... there's an Igbo adage that says: the hen that claims to be mad, is because she has not seen a drunken fox.

I believe there are subtle tricks you can use to get her understand she's wrong and have her apologize whenever she is wrong.

You have ZERO experience and insight in what you speak of, and about women, and marriage. OP should not listen to you on this.

UyaiIncomparabl:
Subtlety rules the world. I believe this, explains everything. To get absolute peace, get rid of that distraction that causes you that pain. I cannot tolerate an egotistical spouse, I expect that you shouldn't too. Please do the needful. Get RID of her. She won't change. Dissuade any person who tells you otherwise. She'll only get worse.

Make your struggle easy. No need recycling dysfunctional homes. We are tired of the ones around.

I had to view your profille and I was suprised to see a pretty face behind this insightful comment

My Brother you are not alone in this and I'm even ending this year bcs I can't enter 2019 with this, Mine is so cautions of her ego, her level of insecurity is overwhelming, she value her ego more that the relationship, right now she is having issues with her sisters which I tried to settle but she insist that her sisters must call her and apologise to her first if not she will not forgive and let go. The threat is giving me sleepless night. Apology? Who are you for her to apologise, not only me but generally.

UyaiIncomparabl:
Subtlety rules the world. I believe this, explains everything. To get absolute peace, get rid of that distraction that causes you that pain. I cannot tolerate an egotistical spouse, I expect that you shouldn't too. Please do the needful. Get RID of her. She won't change. Dissuade any person who tells you otherwise. She'll only get worse.

Make your struggle easy. No need recycling dysfunctional homes. We are tired of the ones around.

Better to let her go oooo. Such women will always turn things that doesn't favor them to you and you will be confused.

Nehyooh:
Look for a very good and polite girl.

In this Nigeria?

Khallyella:
The same reason I'm thinking about ending things with my boyfriend if he doesn't change , Ego runs in his veins, he'll never apologize lest he sees tears dropping from your face , I despise proud egoistic humans, pfft.

Is he broke as well?

Marry her. Congrats. You have found a wife. That is how they behave. Don't expect anything less.

khalhokage:
We've been together for a while now, and I intended to marry her, but she has a flaw that i can't get past and she has to change.

She never apologizes, she finds it so difficult to say sorry for any wrongdoing, she will either try her hardest to defend it or start being emotionally manipulative, I have spoken and complained to her about it so much and I'm tired of talking about it because it now seems like I'm begging for an apology from someone that is supposed to care about how I feel.

It may seem like a small issue to some but I've thought about it, if she's like this now what will she be like during marriage?
At this point i think I should just end the relationship instead of going ahead to marrying someone with a flaw I know I can't live with.

What do you think?

cute you

khalhokage:
We've been together for a while now, and I intended to marry her, but she has a flaw that i can't get past and she has to change.

She never apologizes, she finds it so difficult to say sorry for any wrongdoing, she will either try her hardest to defend it or start being emotionally manipulative, I have spoken and complained to her about it so much and I'm tired of talking about it because it now seems like I'm begging for an apology from someone that is supposed to care about how I feel.

It may seem like a small issue to some but I've thought about it, if she's like this now what will she be like during marriage?
At this point i think I should just end the relationship instead of going ahead to marrying someone with a flaw I know I can't live with.

What do you think?

please run from her now because she will not change. Similar case like this ended my brothers marriage.

emmabest2000:
It’s better to free the girl joor

But on a serious note @OP you’re not yet matured for marriage , you are looking for apology today and truth be told if she starts apologizing now , tomorrow you will still look for something else ...
mind you so many girls would like to pretends and obey almost everything you said for now and until you stupidly put that ring in her finger and said be my wife before them go come out on their original true self and show you pepper

We have so many great pretenders in female gender...
So for you to be well prepared for marriage you must first learn how to say sorry or apologize even when you know that you done nothing wrong!

Honestly you right, that's marriage formula

Lovemeforme:
cute you

Thanks

fascowilly:
Honestly you right, that's marriage formula

I'm not looking for someone that will obey my every command, someone that shows me the same level of respect and regard i accord them is enough for me.

toksbisola:
@Op; to love some one is a beautiful thing. When one is in a relationship that they think would lead to marriage, there are certain factors you need to consider before taking the “I DO” step. The factors are; Love, Compatibility, Respect and Friendship.

During courtship is a time to decide whether you can tolerate your partners' attitude or not. If you know that you can’t endure a particular attitude during courtship, then address it there and then as it has a tendency to probably get worse when you marry.

Now let me give you some quotes below to ponder over; here we go;

When a relationship becomes one you are enduring; it’s time to walk away

When a relationship becomes a violet one; it’s time to walk away

When a relationship becomes a selfish one;it’s time to walk away

When a relationship makes you unhappy; it’s time to walk away

When you become afraid of your partner in a relationship; it’s time to walk away

When in a relationship and the apologies comes from only one side; it’s time to walk away

When you walk on egg-shells in a relationship; it’s time to walk away

Note my words above and be sure to be married to someone who you see as one you can spend the rest of your life with in happiness, love and unity. We are not perfect but we can still make adjustments in our attitude towards our fellow human.

It would be in your best interest to TO AVOID PROLONGING THIS MATTER ANY LONGER as she's a woman whose biological clock is ticking and if you honestly would not be able to look beyond the “PROBLEM AREA” you mentioned above; PLEASE FREE HER AND FREE YOURSELF. Don’t have a selfish attitude (No offence hope none taken) where you want to have your cake and eat it by keeping her and STILL HAVING THESE NAGGING DOUBT/ISSUE THAT YOU CAN’T OVERLOOK.

Take note,

1) Never marry anyone out of pity simply because you have been with them for a long time and you don’t want them or you to lose out.

2) Marry for true love so that when the challenges start occurring in the marital bond (and best believe challenges would arise) the love both of you have built up would be able to withstand the ups and downs that would occur; take note that MARRIAGE IS NOT A BED OF ROSES.

On a final note, the decision is yours entirely whether to carry on with her or let her be as only you wear the shoes and only you know where it pinches; hence, no one else can decide for you whether you’ll carry on with the courtship or call it quits. It'll be totally out of a selfish interest to allow her to chase other men away (one man’s meat is another man’s poison) with her knowledge that she has met her husband; meanwhile her man is in doubt if he has met his wife; as that’s the way it looks at the moment from your write-up. Owing to the fact that you are not happy with this particular flaw of her not apologizing when she's in the wrong; (anyone who can't apologies when they are in the wrong has an inflated ego of themselves which portrays them as selfish) you're better off taking your time to find the right woman at the initial stage to avoid stories that touch and you crying over spilled milk when it all goes down south. All the best.

I rest my case

Thanks a lot.

Juliearth:
Usually I am a staunch optimist when it comes to faulty relationships,but this is definitely an exception. Sorry to say this, but your woman is egoistic. The only requirement for a broken relationship is "Ego" so be a bigger person,skip the "e" and let it "go" you have tried your best,op. If she can't be submissive whilst she is just a girlfriend,belief you me, she will never change in marriage. Even the Bible admonishes us to submit to our husbands/fiance.
Marrying her would be your undoing. Please let her go! I am sure your better half is closer than you think.

Thanks a lot.

Funkeshuga:
Reading your post I deduce that you are never in a relationship. You need to understand the meaning of relationship. there's nothing relationship about that weird engagement


Don't quit the relationship now but get a serious, loving and humble lady who has control over social life to date. After dating her for some months then compare, if this one is ok then you can stick with her because everyone has their own flaw but that your current girlfriend flaw is something you can't take away from her it might be from her background don't engage yourself in what you can't erase

Thanks for your advice, but I have never cheated in a relationship, I would rather end this relationship than do that.

Khallyella:
The same reason I'm thinking about ending things with my boyfriend if he doesn't change , Ego runs in his veins, he'll never apologize lest he sees tears dropping from your face , I despise proud egoistic humans, pfft.

Leave him for me...I can apologize even when I'm right

rednek:
I have been there before, such people will never change. Instead of them apologising, you will end up being the one to appologize. If you ask me, i will honestly tell you that you are just wasting your time. Trust me, if you finally live her you will see how peaceful and relaxed you will become. Someone that loves you will always respect your feelings and will never do anything that will cause you to feel bad......trust me, this girl might even be thinking that she is doing you a favour by dating you, and she always feels that there are better guys out there ready to take her if she decides to dump you today.

It's like you've dated someone like what the OP described before.

khalhokage:
We've been together for a while now, and I intended to marry her, but she has a flaw that i can't get past and she has to change.

She never apologizes, she finds it so difficult to say sorry for any wrongdoing, she will either try her hardest to defend it or start being emotionally manipulative, I have spoken and complained to her about it so much and I'm tired of talking about it because it now seems like I'm begging for an apology from someone that is supposed to care about how I feel.

It may seem like a small issue to some but I've thought about it, if she's like this now what will she be like during marriage?
At this point i think I should just end the relationship instead of going ahead to marrying someone with a flaw I know I can't live with.

What do you think?

You sound like my good friend, but i checked your profile and you're not him. I can only conclude you guys are dating a carbon copy because for five years, I had to listen to him complain about his woman.

So it might just be that she's BROKEN, she doesn't want to let you know and she feels an apology would make her feel weak..
Yes she might be proud
Yes she might be Broken(due to past relationships) and her philosophy is if he truly loves me he'd come back, what's mine is mine. MAYBE

You deserve better than a future with a narcissist. You've seen the red flags now. It is nearly impossible for a full grown adult to change their ways. Your mental health is far more important than the feelings you have for her. Move on and don't look back. There are better options out there.

khalhokage:
We've been together for a while now, and I intended to marry her, but she has a flaw that i can't get past and she has to change.

She never apologizes, she finds it so difficult to say sorry for any wrongdoing, she will either try her hardest to defend it or start being emotionally manipulative, I have spoken and complained to her about it so much and I'm tired of talking about it because it now seems like I'm begging for an apology from someone that is supposed to care about how I feel.

It may seem like a small issue to some but I've thought about it, if she's like this now what will she be like during marriage?
At this point i think I should just end the relationship instead of going ahead to marrying someone with a flaw I know I can't live with.

What do you think?

Brother check this thread https://www.nairaland.com/4880359/how-tell-youre-dating-psychopath

I'm facing the same......only mine is worse

khalhokage:
We've been together for a while now, and I intended to marry her, but she has a flaw that i can't get past and she has to change.

She never apologizes, she finds it so difficult to say sorry for any wrongdoing, she will either try her hardest to defend it or start being emotionally manipulative, I have spoken and complained to her about it so much and I'm tired of talking about it because it now seems like I'm begging for an apology from someone that is supposed to care about how I feel.

It may seem like a small issue to some but I've thought about it, if she's like this now what will she be like during marriage?
At this point i think I should just end the relationship instead of going ahead to marrying someone with a flaw I know I can't live with.

What do you think?

Sign of immaturity in a lady. I'm guessing she is below 26. Don't worry, she will understand, but probably after losing you

Not in the mood for long grammar. Quit the relationship. She won't change. Seen someone like that.

Thislady:
So it might just be that she's BROKEN, she doesn't want to let you know and she feels an apology would make her feel weak..
Yes she might be proud
Yes she might be Broken(due to past relationships) and her philosophy is if he truly loves me he'd come back, what's mine is mine. MAYBE

I have actually mentioned something like this to her not verbatim but it was along the lines of "I feel like I'm getting punished for the crimes of your ex" the guy cheated on her, I don't know if that's the reason she's this way but i know i can't bear it.

She's a great person and there's no one without flaws but is a deal breaker for me, how do I stick with someone that i feel doesn't love me back and is with me out of convenience?

I think it would be better if she found someone she can respect enough to apologize to, I wanted to be person but it's clear that I'm not.

I no kukuma get gf or wife but I think everyone (male or female)should be free to saying I'm sorry when wrong and even when right as e dey save life and not kill.

khalhokage:
We've been together for a while now, and I intended to marry her, but she has a flaw that i can't get past and she has to change.

She never apologizes, she finds it so difficult to say sorry for any wrongdoing, she will either try her hardest to defend it or start being emotionally manipulative, I have spoken and complained to her about it so much and I'm tired of talking about it because it now seems like I'm begging for an apology from someone that is supposed to care about how I feel.

It may seem like a small issue to some but I've thought about it, if she's like this now what will she be like during marriage?
At this point i think I should just end the relationship instead of going ahead to marrying someone with a flaw I know I can't live with.

What do you think?

This is a big issue as small as it looks, Just take a break for NOW

Most people here are advising you to end it, which is funny.. because..they have no idea what your relationship is like..I mean we all only complain about the bad stuff without mentioning the good part .. I believe that you should call her and have an intense discussion with her... Not when she has offended now..when everything is alright, say to her that you have heard of many relationships that were broken because of someone's inability to apologise and be responsible for their actions or better still accept that they are wrong. Preach to her ,and do not refer to her throughout.tell her that whenever the both of you have an argument about something you both should start with ..I am sorry but, that's a good start and be committed to it..it helps. Don't just break off a relationship because something fixable.