₦airaland Forum

Omoge87:
Dear OP.

I don’t really understand this philosophy myself. I am a Nigerian lady. I currently work, I bought and drive my own car. Have almost completed my MSc which I paid for myself. My point being as a Nigerian lady I have never cared about what material thing a guy has. What girls think a guy can provide for them- they can actually provide for themselves if they work hard.

I have only been in two relationships in my life - but in those relationships I never cared about anything material. I cared about their long term vision and goals etc... I remember my first ex didn’t drive. I am the one that would drop him home after church etc.. When they had a need I would help. When I had need they would offer to help and I would politely decline - if it was monetary - simply cos I don’t want any guy to be saying he did xyz for me. Also I noticed Nigerian men associate helping their girlfriends with sex - so far as they are gifting you and giving you money they expect sex in return and as I am not a prostitute - I decline such things. I would rather ask my parents if I had any monetary needs. I don’t believe boyfriend should become your driver or your bank when courtship and vice versa. When you are husband and wife - then yes I can accept financial assistance from my husband - but not boyfriend. Why should a boyfriend be paying my fees or rent? I just don’t understand it at all. A girl should learn to be self - sufficient - when she has her own she won’t care if a guy has BMW or plenty money. She will rather want someone who is compatible with her vision and life long goals.

Bottom line my philosophy is if a girl works hard she won’t have to rely on a man for anything- she will not care if he has a car or money as her first port of call. She will be interested in - does he have a Job, is he a Christian, family background etc... because she wants someone likeminded and compatible with her also.

I think it is laziness that makes some girls want to live off a man. I just don’t understand it at all. My brain cannot comphrend the thought. There is nothing like having your own independence as a woman. I am not a feminist oooo. I just believe in hard work so you don’t have to rely on anyone or beg anyone for anything in this life.

On this same forum there was a post that asked would you rather a rich husband that cheats but provides or a poor husband that is faithful but can’t provide. I just shook my head. Why can’t one just have a hardworking husband and a hard working wife who are both faithful and provide for each other’s needs ?

marry me.

Gerrard59:
It has been evolutionary stated that women are naturally hypergamous. Across ALL cultures, men marry women that they have MORE financial resources than ditto women wanting to marry men that have MORE money than them. It must not be a rich man but he MUST have more money than her. This is a natural phenomenon. Anyone disputing this after centuries of practice is living in Lalaland.



The other reality is that: women are being pressurised to get married quickly in Nigeria. So what happens? They ensure they get married quickly to avoid being called evening newspapers. These average guys potentials will take time to blossom, although some are lucky to have it blossom early enough, most especially in a place where things DON'T work not even electricity. Do you now expect these ladies to wait for the potentials? For how long? Till production of evening newspapers?

Moreover, we've cases where men with potentials let go of these waiters after they have made it and marry more beautiful women who were not involved in the waiting process. Why should women not do same by choosing the best of the best amongst the pack?

This is Nigeria and that will be their reality.

i will tell them to get a guy that is working, marry him and move on with their life.

Where will they get the man they wanna date up with. it is a painful reality, at the end of the day, they will settle for their level after all the fantasies. damn!

LastDance:
This is just what i am talking about.
How many Ladies as at now, will agree to become a Waiter?
They will be like "god forbid"
They want to live up to their mates, go to saloons and get that expensive hair attachments. use that iPhone, slay on Instagram and Snapchat.
Now how will a 15 to 20 thousand naira a month job gives them that lifestyle?
This is why they auction their bodies to the highest bidders just to live that glamorous lifestyle and this is why they keep falling at the hands of ritualist.

Even those doing little Jobs are low key sleeping with guys for Money.
Now like i said earlier, it's their lifestyle, they have been programmed to think that their body can get them the life they want.

Now for Ladies in Europe and America, their Education, Brain and talents is what will give them their dreams, so they believe it starting little by little and then become big.

But in Nigeria, our Ladies prefer to use their body to hit it big, buy that house and live a good life.

It's already an epidemic.

it is always below their standard, why should they be a waiter when they can sell their pussy to the higher bidder and trap him with pregnancy.

most of these girls do not have priority in life..

For Nigerian women their is no dignity in labour but dignity in doing prostitution, i just tire for them.

ifex370:
So how can a guy get off the potential field.. Are you in anyway encouraging guys to go beyond legal means in obtaining so called riches just to satisfy the insatiable woman...

Bro don't get yourself in trouble.. Do the least you can and forget the rest.. Keep praying

don't him, i should be searching for one dirty pant to buy Benz, no i can't.

pacifik:
Most of the time I don't blame our ladies... Potentials don't pay Bills in this country, some men stay grounded in their potential level until the end of time.

You talk about a nice background, Religion and personality, my dear such qualities are quite rare in this country now... "everybody na street"... Even the guys from the nice background, that pray from dawn to dusk and have saintly impeccable personalities have ditched all that shit in search of ways to survive... In this country now the only way to survive is to "tear eye" and explore options without moralistic sentiments.

I've always said this, if you're a young man and you've not set a solid financial foundation for yourself in this country then don't think of engaging in a relationship or marriage, your main focus should be on getting the money first, leave woman matters for those that can maintain them. My people has an adage.... "The beauty of a Man is in the Weight of his Wallet"...

Seriously, I don't blame any lady (especially those from poor backgrounds) who realistically assert that "No Money, No Honey"... This should be a challenge to our young men to get out from their Potential energy field and become Kinetic men that take charge of their world at all cost, Men that can Rule their World...

The painful truth is that this country has nothing to offer young men with potentials and sweet personalities anymore, our country only rewards the rugged, tough, reckless and Brave hearted ones.. Those that can smash the rules to survive..

asslicker........
go to nigerian prisons and see how many youths are destroyed because they are trying to meet.....

is it not funny that there are thousands of Nigerian women who will love to trap adenuga, dangote and their sons with pregnancy, so as to receive monthly baby mama allowance.

What a world, the future of our women is blink.

MariaLavina:
That's because a typical Nigerian man says hello with money. From trying to look dope and classy yourself before you can approach a Lady to trying to get a lady's attention by offering to take her out.

The question is how many Nigerian guys can handle an independent lady? or How many Nigerian guys can get a woman's heart without spending? None! You spoil them yet complain? If you guys can detach your masculinity/ confidence from money, then women will learn and only want what you can offer.

You said the 'None' with so much authority. What's the number of men you have dated?

And dressing really well and expensively. Taking a lady out and whatnot, I thought those were just normal things a guy does when he meets a lady?

nice one op women like you will find gold and make a happy home.but op if you remove money from love in naija most men (excluding myself)would be frustrated by women because they lack the personality traits that attract women .how many naija men can cinfidently walk up to a very hot lady and have at least a 10 minutes long conversation with her,make her laugh ,collect her number and guide her to relationship and sex more than 85% or of naija guys cant do that .so op dont fight for them they love it like that money answereth all things....

this thread is an eye opener for me. I really appreciate everyone who contributed.
let me now speak for myself. As a single comfortable young medical doctor planning to settle down, I would rather go for an independent (obedient, submissive & respectful) young lady and this is because as a modern Africa man, I can't handle liability in this era of uncertainty and endless expenses (I don't want to come and die young). On the other hand, any independent lady who disobeys or disrespect me as an Africa guy...I will simply give her a mind blowing séèx as a souvenir before sending her packing ASAP (Because two captains can't be on a ship).
To all ladies, have a source of income no matter how little and respect your man.
To all young guys, marry a lady you can control in all aspect.
If you know...then you know.

Omoge87, confirm please, how many PMs now?

emmaodet:
Funmi may i ask, let us assume am a man probably not working yet or working but struggling, if i approach you now, will you accept?

No.




If i am ugly with pock marks and buckteeth, will you approach me?

wetdick:
Guys, never lower your standards. marry the best and use the gold digger for your sexual fun. if she is a gold digger, She will always be. you cant change or convinced a gold digger

Any girl that cant marry potential will be single for life and married to a vibrator. most young guys from 18-35 years are potentials, it is either you take or leave

for single ladies that want already made, go and marry you made guys.20 ladies are already fighting for his money, lets see if he will give you a chance

some Black women are never realistic. guys make do away of those unrealistic single ones, let them go and marry in another planet

bro like i said before you are just too intellectual and logical i wish i knew you in person .i wish i went to the same school with you you comments and post are always on point in fact you deserve 1000 likes and shares for this particular comment ...thumbs up....

lilmax:
mentality is something that is almost impossible to change

that's why when you meet a girl, you search for her mentality first to know how she thinks

most of them fail woefully in that aspect

hmmmm

SyberKate:
My dear see your life.
And what is potential again?
When you say you want something to work with, then that thing has potential
I think you just contradicted yourself

i forgot to add tangible to that sentence. He must be comfortable and must be able to look after a family before approaxhing any woman.

MariaLavina:
That's because a typical Nigerian man says hello with money. From trying to look dope and classy yourself before you can approach a Lady to trying to get a lady's attention by offering to take her out.

The question is how many Nigerian guys can handle an independent lady? or How many Nigerian guys can get a woman's heart without spending? None! You spoil them yet complain? If you guys can detach your masculinity/ confidence from money, then women will learn and only want what you can offer.

See smelly wey de claim independent lady wey no Nigerian man fit handle or approach without money. All of una go de claim independent when we no say una no get money to buy ordinary pant.

Make i disgrace u now. I go give u $4,800 within 30 minutes if u prove here say u get up to #1,000,000 for your bank account.

I be talk and do. Provide me your account now as you de prove ur self now.

dancok:
don't him, i should be searching for one dirty pant to buy Benz, no i can't.

Bro.. Don't listen to those kind people that can get you in trouble..


Telling you.. Everybody is using illegal means to get wealth..

True as it may be.. I chose to be different

MariaLavina:
Funny enough op is no different from her friends, so while trying to correct her friend for asking a direct question 'him get money? ' her very own first question was 'his job / career' . Biko what's the difference? Ah! packaging One is direct , the other isn't



Anyways it's none of my business. . Let your standard be whatever it is, it's your cross/ gain to bear.

hmmmmm...sighted

I am just disappointed. It is so sad to say that your 6+x yrs in medical school is a waste. You are the epitome of what toxic femninity does to a man

ghostwritter:
this thread is an eye opener for me. I really appreciate everyone who contributed.
let me now speak for myself. As a single comfortable young medical doctor planning to settle down, I would rather go for an independent (obedient, submissive & respectful) young lady and this is because as a modern Africa man, I can't handle liability in this era of uncertainty and endless expenses (I don't want to come and die young). On the other hand, any independent lady who disobeys or disrespect me as an Africa guy...I will simply give her a mind blowing séèx as a souvenir before sending her packing ASAP (Because two captains can't be on a ship).
To all ladies, have a source of income no matter how little and respect your man.
To all young guys, marry a lady you can control in all aspect.
If you know...then you know.

[i][/i]

kollinzgee:
bro like i said before you are just too intellectual and logical i wish i knew you in person .i wish i went to the same school with you you comments and post are always on point in fact you deserve 1000 likes and shares for this particular comment ...thumbs up....

then we go for foorty and above.. Life is not too haaard. They even have whaat maany young men dont

Moosst sensible thing i haaave seen on this threaad.. Pure truth

pacifik:
Most of the time I don't blame our ladies... Potentials don't pay Bills in this country, some men stay grounded in their potential level until the end of time.

You talk about a nice background, Religion and personality, my dear such qualities are quite rare in this country now... "everybody na street"... Even the guys from the nice background, that pray from dawn to dusk and have saintly impeccable personalities have ditched all that shit in search of ways to survive... In this country now the only way to survive is to "tear eye" and explore options without moralistic sentiments.

I've always said this, if you're a young man and you've not set a solid financial foundation for yourself in this country then don't think of engaging in a relationship or marriage, your main focus should be on getting the money first, leave woman matters for those that can maintain them. My people has an adage.... "The beauty of a Man is in the Weight of his Wallet"...

Seriously, I don't blame any lady (especially those from poor backgrounds) who realistically assert that "No Money, No Honey"... This should be a challenge to our young men to get out from their Potential energy field and become Kinetic men that take charge of their world at all cost, Men that can Rule their World...

The painful truth is that this country has nothing to offer young men with potentials and sweet personalities anymore, our country only rewards the rugged, tough, reckless and Brave hearted ones.. Those that can smash the rules to survive..

kollinzgee:
bro like i said before you are just too intellectual and logical i wish i knew you in person .i wish i went to the same school with you you comments and post are always on point in fact you deserve 1000 likes and shares for this particular comment ...thumbs up....

thanks

Saffi:
And to the lady on the first page @ omoge87 that was busy driving her boyfriends around and declining their help when they offered, did any of them marry you? The men here are busy hailing you, but deep inside they would never choose/marry a babe like you in real life. It’s good to be independent, but when you are unable to receive help due to this miss independent attitude, it’s gross and it only drives men away from you in the long run. It’s also very masculine. Ahbeg any rich/stable man who wants to sponsor my life, I will open my hands with a welcoming heart, despite me having my own. Life is too short to be forming strong head

How did you reach such conclusions?

She shouldn’t have a problem finding a Man.

The only ones that would run away are those that don’t have their life together.

I tend to love women who exhibit traits of being independent.

Basically you gotta have your life together before looking for love.

At a minimum have a place, a car & a job.

Likewise with men, if you have your life together then finding the one wouldn’t be difficult as long as you date within your league.

Nobody wants to carry anyone along this days you gotta pull your own weight. Love is a partnership.

Bamz:
My mom has always been a pillar in my life. I'm not sure I would be where I am today if she was not working her socks to support her household. So naturally, I would be averse to a girl who sounds lazy.

It's all about our backgrounds to a large extent.

Your mother or father .. your strength... these are the sort of things "termites" don't want to hear. They will tag you Mummy's boy like it's some disease. Like its your fault you have dedicated parents.

Once You mention your folks and a girl responds negatively.. dump her no matter what. A serious girl .. ready for a long term relationship would be struggling to meet your mother or your sisters ..

Been with several girls ... only one girl was interested in who my old woman is and what she does. And her father is a brigadier... huge tits .. she"s a cancerian... was getting her master's @ CUA then.. she was submissive to a fault.. Last thing I heard she was working with the U.N. Her name was Claire! She's from the other side of the Niger.

Good girls are hard to find.. very hard to find.

Was talking to my mum one time and I constantly use the term "descent and respectable" family.

She said what does this mean.. You use it all The time.

My answer: a descent girl is from a good home with no money ; a respectable girl is from a good home with money. Claire is from a respectable home.

Good girls are hard to find.. very hard to find!

i hate gold digging women with passion .i know all thier gimmicks and tricks.i have never dated a materialistic girl before my girl is never demanding she is independent because of this i can give her my eyes if she ask for it....

ubunja:
how very true. Social Media wrecked women. Now they are holding out for that better guy who never comes. Too many choices is as bad as having no choices. It is until women hit the mid-30s and their looks start fading together with their power in social media that they wake up from this trance. By then they are useless as a wife. They have addicted themselves to male attention in the form of Likes and having enjoyed the worship of hundreds of men they can't really be satisfied with the worship of 1 man. They have been psychologically crippled.

The rule hasn't been that men have more MONEY/LIFELYHOOD than women?

Today women have more money and Men can't live up to it. For a Man to not have a job was a taboo and now its still a taboo.

If I can AFFORD everything you are offering then why would i take any bs?

By Man's design ,and Nature I guess, women Are commodity. You have to invest one way or another, financially or emotionally, you don't think?

Times are changing so attidues must change or else you sound mad.

Last question; Why does the solution have to be WOMEN step down, instead of MEN step up?

funmisticqueen:
No.




If i am ugly with pock marks and buckteeth, will you approach me?

Ok, about your first answer - what if after 5 yrs, i became ok, nice looking, with a nice car, nice apartment and doing fine. If i now approach you, will you now accept?

About your question - i want approach the ugly woman.

You can't use beauty to compare money, if you want to use money as a variable, use money and if it is beauty, use beauty, don't interpolate.

If we are to go by your logic, then i can approach a lady that is broke if am broke and a lady that is ugly if am ugly

MariaLavina:
That's because a typical Nigerian man says hello with money. From trying to look dope and classy yourself before you can approach a Lady to trying to get a lady's attention by offering to take her out.

The question is how many Nigerian guys can handle an independent lady? or How many Nigerian guys can get a woman's heart without spending? None! You spoil them yet complain? If you guys can detach your masculinity/ confidence from money, then women will learn and only want what you can offer.

My dear if you know wetin I see those days trying to befriend a girl while not spending, you will be shocked. It was like them putting their leg in a pool with one leg. Trust me it was always cold

Saffi:
And to the lady on the first page @ omoge87 that was busy driving her boyfriends around and declining their help when they offered, did any of them marry you? The men here are busy hailing you, but deep inside they would never choose/marry a babe like you in real life. It’s good to be independent, but when you are unable to receive help due to this miss independent attitude, it’s gross and it only drives men away from you in the long run. It’s also very masculine. Ahbeg any rich/stable man who wants to sponsor my life, I will open my hands with a welcoming heart, despite me having my own. Life is too short to be forming strong head

Another false statement...

Being independent doesn’t make you gross neither does it drive men away from you...

If you read her statement carefully she alluded that she wouldn’t take either rent nor school fees from a boyfriend but she also made mention that she would accept either rent or school fees from her husband.

I think another thing she said but you fail to realize is she wouldn’t mind a boyfriend taking her out & paying for their meals.

Basically what she is saying is if it involves a substantial amount of money which she wouldn’t be able to afford on her own then she wouldn’t accept it either from her boyfriend.

For example

She goes out to eat with her boyfriend & the total bill comes to #7,000 instead of splitting the bill she can allow her boyfriend to take care of it considering the fact that #7,000 isn’t really a lot of money & secondly she can easily come up with it if her boyfriend demands for the money back incase things go sour...

But if her rent is due & the total amount is #300,000 yearly she wouldn’t accept such amount from her boyfriend even if he offers it because simply accepting such huge amount from boyfriend now beholden her to accept & deal with certain things that she wouldn’t normally tolerate from the boyfriend.

On the other hand if her parents offers to pay #300,000 for her house rent then she would gladly accept it since there is not any form of expectation from both parties involved as a result there is no burden involved in the relationship.

Satan66:
You're a fool.
If a man were to say "Hello" to the average Nigerian woman slippers and baggy trousers with a Nokia phone the woman would immediately snub him.
You women want the attracted and spoiled like the gold diggers you all are.
Simple as that.

Guy you don't have to be harsh na

pacifik:
Most of the time I don't blame our ladies... Potentials don't pay Bills in this country, some men stay grounded in their potential level until the end of time.

You talk about a nice background, Religion and personality, my dear such qualities are quite rare in this country now... "everybody na street"... Even the guys from the nice background, that pray from dawn to dusk and have saintly impeccable personalities have ditched all that shit in search of ways to survive... In this country now the only way to survive is to "tear eye" and explore options without moralistic sentiments.

I've always said this, if you're a young man and you've not set a solid financial foundation for yourself in this country then don't think of engaging in a relationship or marriage, your main focus should be on getting the money first, leave woman matters for those that can maintain them. My people has an adage.... "The beauty of a Man is in the Weight of his Wallet"...

Seriously, I don't blame any lady (especially those from poor backgrounds) who realistically assert that "No Money, No Honey"... This should be a challenge to our young men to get out from their Potential energy field and become Kinetic men that take charge of their world at all cost, Men that can Rule their World...

The painful truth is that this country has nothing to offer young men with potentials and sweet personalities anymore, our country only rewards the rugged, tough, reckless and Brave hearted ones.. Those that can smash the rules to survive..

Isn't that how it was ALWAYS

The problem isn't the WOMEN it's the MEN! Instead of collecting MONEY they're busy collecting WOMEN and WHEN THUNDER FIRE them they shout!!!

ghettochild:
simply cos I don’t want any guy to be saying he did xyz for me.
What kinda mentality u been exhibiting?
No wonder u are not yet married...
Just continue doing things for you self n pushing men away from you by declining their help....
Maybe d degree dey winch or d fact u feel financially comfortable..
U go buy husband las las

Omoge87: I apologize on this man's behalf