₦airaland Forum

Psoul:
Well, guy I did not see serious problem problem there. What I see is a man that is bossy and want everyone to know that he is the man of the house. The provider and caretaker of his girlfriend.

My brother, women are not handled that way. Respect is not forced. It is earned. Earning respect is not by thug life or shouting and displaying machoism.
If u want to live long, make ur woman feel that she is the one incharge and you will see how easy it is to rule women. Stop all these ur "I am the man of the house, "I am the one that will provide and take care of her" attitude. It will never work out. Unless if ur babe is dull baby. Let me give the implication of that bragging of bn the one taking care of her. You want her to be submissive based on u are the one providing for her. What will happen when she starts providing for herself? If she becomes ur wife and unfortunately ur source of providence has problem and u will no longer be able to provide for urslf and her. Eventually, she becomes the one providing for the family, will u be submissive to her? Earn her respect and she will become automatically submissive at all condition unless if the woman is devilish.

Sometimes when she insist on her way, let her have it. Just watch her make mistakes and don't even allow her talk about the mistake with u. Tell her it's ok. She won't know if u are angry or not. Next time he will listen to ur opinion when u gives one. Don't argue with her.

Another this is sitting her down when u knw she is in a very good mood. Talk things over. Ask her, Babe, what are the things I do that u don't like of which u want me to change or improve on. Let her open up to u. Also tell her where u want her to improve. Tell her hw bad u feel most times she talk to u as a houseboy instead of as a ur friend.
By the time u continue this way, you will see her becoming lovely and respectful. U are not adopting this style cos u are weak. You are doing it cos u are wiser than her and have a goal u want to achieve which is a peaceful home.

Let me give u one example on how I rule my wife making her feel she is incharge.
She has a good moving business while I have a good job. I told her what I earn monthly, though not the whole truth. I did not tell her some other I make inbetween which is good money.
At the end of the month, I will send her amount of money that is almost 70% of what she beliv is my salary. I will tell her that is for every of the family expenses for the month. Tell her she is incharge and she should manage it well. Tell her let me keep the 30% for going to office and other minor personal expenses.
I tell u, before the end of the month, my wife will make expenses far beyond what I gave to her from her personal money. She will not ask me for money cos she will beliv that I just have a little left with me. If the kids need anything she will be like, pls don't disturb ur dad cos he has no money now. She will go get the stuff anf tell them that daddy bought if for them.

Without this strategy, she will always beliv there is money there and will keep asking for it even when u don't have. Make her feel she is the one controlling u without knowing u are the one that is truly incharge.
At the end of the month, I will give her what

MacLovington:
Some women and even men here want him to be a mug. They want equal say but not equal responsibility.
Later when things do not work out the same people will blame OP of not being in control of his home.
The culture we live in or under puts a lot of responsibility on man to handle the household. A woman averse to that can try out an Afghan, an Indian, a Saudi, a German, etc.

dingbang:
Normally I dont tolerate attitudes like this. I just pretend as if we cool and one day we just break up suddenly. Some ladies need to understand the fact that a guy chooses, not being chosen.

Kenshinmunac:
Good evening everyone, I have an issue, I just met this girl recently. At first she seemed...

I'm just confused. I hate moving from relationships to relationships. I'm so fragile emotionally. It fucking devastates me

johnkay1:
It seems some girls are just like that. There was this gal I met during my youth service, she is pretty, can cook, and take care of home but her bad side is this domineering attribute. She will never say sorry from her heart and hate being controlled, she will only do what she likes not what you want. I systematically withdrew from the relationship until she realized I was no longer interested in the relationship.

I'm an African and I was not trained like that. Even English man believes he is the head of his home. Imagine that kind girl now get richer than you, automatically you will be reduced to nobody.

Our sisters need more orientation from people with blissful home not yeyebrities that call themselves celebrities and feminists who know nothing about running of family affairs.

lilianofentse:
Quit it bro, Unless you're seeking attention here on nairaland.

lilianofentse:
Quit it bro,
Unless you're seeking attention here on nairaland.

crunchyg:
You think its easy to just quit from a relationship you have really gotten attached to?

Kennydoc:
I understand your annoyance but believe me, I can feel the op. I once had a girl like that. We only lasted 2 months and I decided I couldn't take it anymore so I called it quits. Breaking up with her is one of the best relationship decisions I've ever made.
Today, I have a girl who is so soft that I have become much better cos of her attitude. This is a girl that will apologise first cos there was a misunderstanding (even when the main fault might not have come from her). As a result of her attitude, I have learnt to apologise very easily, and as a matter of fact, I now see apologising to her as a way of expressing love. Besides, she has everything I ever desired in a girl physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually. In my world, she's the most complete girl God ever created.

A woman who always wants to enforce her opinion to her man will lose the man and the relationship. Same applies to a woman who can't take corrections. When a woman learns to submit to her man, she will ultimately win him over and may even get to start 'controlling' the man with her submission.

@Kenshinmunac, that lady is not yours. Break up with her and wait for your own. You both are not compatible. I'm talking from experience.

Offpoint1:
Lol, I'm not... maybe it's a talent I don't even know I have, maybe a talent I'm too afraid to explore. A life of an introvert.

cococandy:
You’re a control freak. She’s not your child!

Just listen to yourself and the words you’re saying.

You want to control her
You’re correcting her
You’re raising your voice at her
You get upset that she talks back at you.

Like she’s supposed to keep quiet like a child and listen to you talking condescendingly to her in the name of correction.
What are you correcting her about? What makes you think you know more than her and as such are in position to correct her.

You’re just upset that she isn’t accepting of your mansplaining.
What normal person looks for who to control?

I hope she sees the signs and leaves you before she ends up in a horrible marriage with someone looking for a subordinate, not a partner.

I wonder whose raising these prideful, egocentric boys who think they can come into a woman’s life and run the show. Oh I know.

GTFOH

Kenshinmunac:
Good evening everyone, I have an issue, I just met this girl recently. At first she seemed very calm quite and reserved until I got to find out that she is this very impatient type of person that gets angry easily and talks back at one, if I ever try to raise my voice at her when she does something I don't like she will be like "are you shouting at me I don't understand, you are raising your voice?"

I am now even scared to talk to her and correct her because she will talk back at me and it will lead to argument because I hate my gf talking back at me, and she is so fucking proud and won't calm down and I too am the type that get angry easily, I can't seem to cope with this her character guys I'm thinking of ending the relationship, but it's hard cause I got attached to her already

She has refused to be controlled and like to do what ever pleases her. She basically wants to make the rules in this relationship and I don't want to let her so I don't seem like a weak man. We have broken up and made up twice now because of this anger issue we can't seem to tolerate each other and I don't want or give her the chance to make the rules

I'm afraid if I get married to her tomorrow the union will end up in disaster as it will be filled with quarreling and fighting except one of us come down for each other and I don't want to be her foot mat since I'm the man in the relationship I feel she should come down for me since I will be the one to take care of her, provide and shelter her. I deserve that fucking respect she has no right to talk back at me over the slightest of things just because I express my displeasure over things she does wrong.

Please guys, advice me I'm fucking heart broken right now. I still love her and we broke up again this evening and this time with a whole lot of word exchange guys.

I'm just confused. I hate moving from relationships to relationships. I'm so fragile emotionally. It fucking devastates me

Kenshinmunac:
Good evening everyone, I have an issue, I just met this girl recently. At first she seemed very calm quite and reserved until I got to find out that she is this very impatient type of person that gets angry easily and talks back at one, if I ever try to raise my voice at her when she does something I don't like she will be like "are you shouting at me I don't understand, you are raising your voice?"

I am now even scared to talk to her and correct her because she will talk back at me and it will lead to argument because I hate my gf talking back at me, and she is so fucking proud and won't calm down and I too am the type that get angry easily, I can't seem to cope with this her character guys I'm thinking of ending the relationship, but it's hard cause I got attached to her already

She has refused to be controlled and like to do what ever pleases her. She basically wants to make the rules in this relationship and I don't want to let her so I don't seem like a weak man. We have broken up and made up twice now because of this anger issue we can't seem to tolerate each other and I don't want or give her the chance to make the rules

I'm afraid if I get married to her tomorrow the union will end up in disaster as it will be filled with quarreling and fighting except one of us come down for each other and I don't want to be her foot mat since I'm the man in the relationship I feel she should come down for me since I will be the one to take care of her, provide and shelter her. I deserve that fucking respect she has no right to talk back at me over the slightest of things just because I express my displeasure over things she does wrong.

Please guys, advice me I'm fucking heart broken right now. I still love her and we broke up again this evening and this time with a whole lot of word exchange guys.

I'm just confused. I hate moving from relationships to relationships. I'm so fragile emotionally. It fucking devastates me

Skiilashi:
Haaa, Favour David?

I know her,one smallish edo lady, with small small sets of teeth.

Kenshinmunac:
True. Thanks sis

cococandy:
You’re a control freak. She’s not your child!

Just listen to yourself and the words you’re saying.

You want to control her
You’re correcting her
You’re raising your voice at her
You get upset that she talks back at you.

Like she’s supposed to keep quiet like a child and listen to you talking condescendingly to her in the name of correction.
What are you correcting her about? What makes you think you know more than her and as such are in position to correct her.

You’re just upset that she isn’t accepting of your mansplaining.
What normal person looks for who to control?

I hope she sees the signs and leaves you before she ends up in a horrible marriage with someone looking for a subordinate, not a partner.

I wonder whose raising these prideful, egocentric boys who think they can come into a woman’s life and run the show. Oh I know.

GTFOH

castrol180:
Good to know and hear that...but all the while when that your ex was shagging you and despite that he deflowered you didn't you have any enceite then?

Swtcherries:
But I just hope you are not a control freak.

Kenshinmunac:
I'm not a control freak. I don't want to control her she should just listen. She doesn't want to take anything I tell her at all not minding me. If for example I tell her to come see me she will object and say she is not in the mood to go out or she is watching TV if I try to sweet talk her to come she stands on her no. If she says no it's no. It's that shit I hate I mean how can you just say no to your man like that and not even consider him even if he is begging you? Girl I plan to marry? That shit is just bleeped up.

kurlz:
Introverts are better thinkers, thereby making better writers. Explore this gift of yours.

I write so when I see a good write up I know it.

iRepNaija1:
Logged in just so I could reply to this message. You've missed the whole point of her message: women are not pets or animals. The only people she needs to be taking "corrections" from are her parents and/or elders. It's not a woman's job to learn how to submit to a man. A man's ego, his masculinity, and his pride should not be determined based on how a woman treats him or how she relates to him. How can you control anyone when you're submitting? Carry go.