I want to ask you a question and must answer immediately, have you guy p*nt down?

Adviseasister:


I am 23. I didn't broadcast it, he sends flowers, sometimes lunch to my workplace, that is how they got to know.

OK, GL in your choice

femi4:
but how can you fall in love with someone you ve not seen physically

It happens.


You just "fall in love" with the personality they exude. It may fizzle once you meet them in person.

Tripitaka:

OK. But you also have to account for Guest viewing and multiple viewing by a moniker. I honestly do not think NL as up to 100k actual users

How many thread and section do you visit on Nairaland? Minus Guest, that particular thread got more than 45k people viewing when the match was ongoing. Go back to that thread, I’m sure 100k people would have seen that thread.

I’m conversant with travel section where I’ve met a lot of people around the world. Go to technology market. It’s only on this stupid romance section that u see rubbish and childish posts, insult and all that.

I can guarantee u that NL has more than 1million real users. That they are active everyday is another issue on its own. Well, these people earn money everyday according to views so it doesn’t matter if one person has 30 monickers. As long as they get more than 1million views everyday, they get paid everyday

Adviseasister:


I never rubbed it in their face. Normally I like to keep my relationship very private, but I couldn't hide those gifts you know. They may start mocking me behind my back, saying I wanted to go abroad.

Hi, you do not Ave to tell them what transpired. Just start by telling them that the guy said he won't be in the country till after 3yrs.
After a while, tell them you're considering calling things off that the 'long distance' thing isn't for you.

This is teririble

femi4:
but how can you fall in love with someone you ve not seen physically

Have you seen Jesus?

Initially I was interested in this case because I thought you have met him physically. You haven't met him yet and you are stressing yourself? really? Of all the guys around you physically present,people who genuinely like you, it's someone you haven't met before that you are killing yourself over? Babe, I'll be real with you. THERE IS NOTHING BETWEEN YOU GUYS UNTIL YOU PHYSICALLY SEE...When will that take place?Be specific...Ask him that question, be true to yourself. Is he willing to come and see you in Nigeria? Is he willing to marry you? You don't talk about these two things, and you claim you are in love? My dear, this thing you have for each other is going nowhere until you ask those two questions and receive definite answers. If he loves you enough, he has to promise to show up and physically show up. And even when he does, don't you ever make the mistake of giving him the cookie...BECAUSE THAT IS WHEN YOU WILL KNOW THE REAL DEFINITION OF HEARTBREAK...
No one needs to tell you to move on if he doesn't show up.

Adviseasister:


Have you seen Jesus?

Oh... he's your Jesus

Move on baby he no longer interested.

Adviseasister:


Thanks. It is a long distance relationship, I don't mean Lagos to Abuja, but different countries, continents. How do we see the counsellor? What do you think is wrong with him? I feel he has drifted.

I would advice you move on. It may not be the best advice, but I'm telling you as a guys who understands the situation.

greypencils:
Initially I was interested in this case because I thought you have met him physically. You haven't met him yet and you are stressing yourself? really? Of all the guys around you physically present,people who genuinely like you, it's someone you haven't met before that you are killing yourself over? Babe, I'll be real with you. THERE IS NOTHING BETWEEN YOU GUYS UNTIL YOU PHYSICALLY SEE...When will that take place?Be specific...Ask him that question, be true to yourself. Is he willing to come and see you in Nigeria? Is he willing to marry you? You don't talk about these two things, and you claim you are in love? My dear, this thing you have for each other is going nowhere until you ask those two questions and receive definite answers. If he loves you enough, he has to promise to show up and physically show up. And even when he does, don't you ever make the mistake of giving him the cookie...BECAUSE THAT IS WHEN YOU WILL KNOW THE REAL DEFINITION OF HEARTBREAK...
No one needs to tell you to move on if he doesn't show up.

So I will travel from Europe to Nigeria to see a babe and she won’t give me cookie?? Lol u must be jokin

Book a suitable appointment with him. Tell him u observed distance btw u two. Ask him if u av done anything to offend him. Ask him if there is any issue so u two could discuss it.
If he doesn't av any good excuse, don't act there.
After d visit, if he doesn't change, respect urself and maintain good distance from him. If he wants u, he wl change and beg u. If he doesn't still care, Move on!
Most time busy is excuse unless his nature of job is time consuming.

proudly9ja:
Dear OP,

Do not listen to people saying you fell in love because the guy 'is abroad'. However, you brought the matter online and as I am sure you know, you will get all sorts of comments from people with various ages. Select the ones that give you the right advice and let others continue to talk.

As per the issue at hand, there may be many reasons why this is happening. The best pieces of advice I've read here I've pasted below. Follow them.







As for your colleagues at work, you don't owe them anything. Plus many of them would have gone through similar situations. They should support you not put you down.

I knew they would say that, but it was never my intention. I didn't even know he was abroad from his posts. He types very "Nigerian". Most advices are saying almost same thing, move on. I think I will start working towards that.

Adviseasister:
Good evening Nairalanders,

I had to create a new moniker for this, but I believe my guy will know this is for him.

Sometime last year I received a PM from a nlder. After going through his posts, I was pleased and we started talking. One thing led to another and we started a relationship. I must confess he is everything a woman wants in a man, he brought out this part of me I never knew existed and he did it so easily. We started seeing a future, I was happy.

Fast forward to February this year, I noticed a decline in communication. I complained and he blamed it on work. It continued and I had to ask what the problem is, he maintained it was work.

By March, things got worse and I have not been able to concentrate at work. I send him voice-notes and he responds hours later. I send messages and he responds with one word. I must also add he doesn't pick my calls at night anymore, but his NL profile would be seen online, though he won't comment.

I do not know what to do as I can't bring myself to love someone else as I love him. It is a long distance relationship and I do not know what to do. Is it possible he is facing challenges there and doesn't want to share?

Should I wait for him to come around or move on? Has anyone been in this situation before, how did you manage it? I feel so heartbroken.

Stop wasting your time.

I was ghosted by a Nairalander some months back. He equally seized communication after he had been talking to me for a period of time. Dude was cool as well, and I thought we were going somewhere .

I don't know what you thought you had, but you don't have a guy. Collect your L and move on, anybody that is too busy for you, is tired of you.

Anyway, his own might be different. No need to lump all NL guys together

Adviseasister:
Good evening Nairalanders,

I had to create a new moniker for this, but I believe my guy will know this is for him.

Sometime last year I received a PM from a nlder. After going through his posts, I was pleased and we started talking. One thing led to another and we started a relationship. I must confess he is everything a woman wants in a man, he brought out this part of me I never knew existed and he did it so easily. We started seeing a future, I was happy.

Fast forward to February this year, I noticed a decline in communication. I complained and he blamed it on work. It continued and I had to ask what the problem is, he maintained it was work.

By March, things got worse and I have not been able to concentrate at work. I send him voice-notes and he responds hours later. I send messages and he responds with one word. I must also add he doesn't pick my calls at night anymore, but his NL profile would be seen online, though he won't comment.

I do not know what to do as I can't bring myself to love someone else as I love him. It is a long distance relationship and I do not know what to do. Is it possible he is facing challenges there and doesn't want to share?

Should I wait for him to come around or move on? Has anyone been in this situation before, how did you manage it? I feel so heartbroken.

Bab sorry but I have to tell you the truth. I don't know why everybody is shying away from it THE GUY IS GONE SO MOVE ON

he is a player, he got your attention and left you heartbroken and move to the next babe you said he is flirting with. When he eventually get that one attention he will still do the same thing, domp her and look for the next victim.

Get over it

[b]I have nothing to say. We don’t do serious anything for ourside here. We do the best thing that most women want. . But one thing I can say is don’t listen to them Feminist or people that are saying you shouldn’t wait anymore time. They jump into conclusion quickly, even without knowing anything about you 2. which is another Mental disease. They’re mostly single & are always visiting Churches. Femidicksm in Nigeria is a scam. 70% of guys are sick of relationship entirely. Listen to those that are saying patience. It won’t be for long for sure. But it’s a great tool to know whatsup in every situation. Even a trained love expert won’t tell you not to be patient. My Nigga must have been thinking some of the things that sharp guys would think.. . Even if your gonna be ending it, there’s a way to end it in peace. He might just be running some hypothesis on you, with him believing that you loved him and would be patient till he’s done with the hypothesis. Somebody up there said how can you fall in love online. Somebody said maybe he’d already promised to fly you out. Ignore em statement. Life is full of different people with different drama. That it doesn’t work for them doesn’t mean it wont work for somebody else. Some people are always believing life is revolving around them, that whatever that doesn’t be for them won’t be for another person. I have nothing to say like I said but be patient. [/b]

czarina:
Private chat, over what?

Chat on Something will could together benefitted from..
DM me.. looking forward to it

CAPSLOCKED:


I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU PEOPLE ALWAYS SAY THIS.
DO YOU DO THIS BECAUSE YOU BELIEVE IT'LL MAKE THE STORY MORE INTERESTING? OR IS THERE A SPECIAL AWARD PEOPLE RECEIVE WHEN THEY TRY TO STATE THEIR CASE BUT FIRST HAVE TO NOTIFY US THAT "THIS IS A NEW ACCOUNT TO HIDE MY IDENTITY"?



I'VE ALWAYS MAINTAINED THAT NAIRALAND BOASTS OF ABOUT TWO MILLION MEMBERS.

BUT IN THE REAL SENSE, THERE ARE JUST 43 OF US GENUINE MEMBERS. THE REST ARE ALTERNATES AFTER ALTERNATES.




I'M THE PATRON OF FAILED RELATIONSHIPS. ANY ADVICE FROM ME WILL ONLY CAUSE MORE DAMAGES AND LEAD YOU TO FAILURE. I'M SORRY.

damn.. People are crazy here. Atimes I go just dey laugh like mumu when I read some posts even as I dey vex o.

He has lost interest in the relationship. Let him be and you should move on.

Adviseasister:


It is painful seeing him online.

About 3weeks ago, he was flirting with one female user, while ignoring my WhatsApp messages. This is someone that rarely comments. I don't know what to do again.

Adviseasister:


Thanks. It is a long distance relationship, I don't mean Lagos to Abuja, but different countries, continents. How do we see the counsellor? What do you think is wrong with him? I feel he has drifted.

Don't be carried away my dear

You can't JUST fall in love on the internet
You need to keep it 50 - 50
Until you practically see face to face and make a rel commitment


Just be yoursel be open make friends till you find someone to marry

Find out what's the real issue before u conclude

IvarTheTerrible:


Am I the Nairalander?


There was this female former MOD of Nairaland who claimed i broke her heart.....

Her story is on my profile

Why would you name your after such a man

Adviseasister:


It is painful seeing him online.

About 3weeks ago, he was flirting with one female user, while ignoring my WhatsApp messages. This is someone that rarely comments. I don't know what to do again.

Now you are talking. I see a red flag right there with the "flirting with one female user, while ignoring my WhatsApp messages". I may be wrong but I think he has moved on. I will suggest you start looking for another relationship while leaving the door open for him to have a change of heart. I think he is just playing the field. Reduce the frequency of your messages to him.

IvarTheTerrible:


Am I the Nairalander?


There was this female former MOD of Nairaland who claimed i broke her heart.....

Her story is on my profile

Why would you name yourself after such a man

Sheriman:

Chat on Something will could together benefitted from..
DM me.. looking forward to it

I don't think I'm interested in whatever it is but if it's really "important", call that number on my profile.

I think the main reason why u know that he has everything a girl needs in a man and u develop endless love for him is because he is in abroad and that there's money, if he was a simple guy who is still hustling u for no love. Women and ready made husband na 5 and 6.

Predstan:



How many thread and section do you visit on Nairaland? Minus Guest, that particular thread got more than 45k people viewing when the match was ongoing. Go back to that thread, I’m sure 700k people would have seen that thread.

I’m conversant with travel section where I’ve met a lot of people around the world. Go to technology market. It’s only on this stupid romance section that u see rubbish and childish posts, insult and all that.

I can guarantee u that NL has more than 1million real users. That they are active everyday is another issue on its own. Well, these people earn money everyday according to views so it doesn’t matter if one person has 30 monickers. As long as they get more than 1million views everyday, they get paid everyday

You have a point.

See, I have about 10 friends and colleagues offline that are nairalanders. ALL of them have alternates. Infact, one has an account for the sexuality section, another for the business section and his main account.

Also, when you deactivate an account, it doesn't disappear from NL. Don't also forget that for most users, the moment they are banned, they create a new account.

What about the bet9ja advertisers who create 10s of accounts on a daily?

Have you ever wondered why the highest number of likes on a single post here is 2k+? If NL had over a million users, trust me, you'll be seeing 30k, 40k, 50k likes on a post, granted that everyone can't like a post.

Some people create accounts for different purposes and for specific sections. That number of views you see on a thread accounts for particular users coming back multiple times to view a thread.

I joined NL in 2013, since then, I've created 4 different monikers especially when I change phones and can't remember the passwords, although I've never operated alternates.

Predstan:


So I will travel from Europe to Nigeria to see a babe and she won’t give me cookie?? Lol u must be jokin

How can you be traveling to Nigeria from Europe because of pussy?

Did they bury your destiny inside the poohsie that you will spend that kind of money for straff? Have hot babes finished in Europe that you will be traveling for intercontinental kpekus?

What is really your problem in life?

Biglittlelois:



People that fell in love with someone they met online will understand the feeling lol, I get you sis, chat him up on whatsapp and ask him point blank if he is no more interested, if he reads the chat and doesnt reply immediately, forget it, he's no more interested, if he later replies with one excuse or the other or trying to twist words or situations, forget him and move on, when he sees this thread and starts to chat you up bringing everything back to normal like before, he may be genuine or not, my guess is the later, but play along to see how it goes, but start to withdraw slowly, when the communication fades away once more, which will eventually happen, do not take it to heart, you will hurt but don't let it last long, remove your mind from it and take it as one of life's lessons when it comes to love, you will be fine

Very good advice.

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