asuzor11:
Go to him .If he's busted, so be it.niqqa may be facing serious challenges he ain't wanna let you know

The guy is abroadIan.
Op sees him as a getaway from this shithole.

Adviseasister:


You seem to really understand my position. I will send him a message later at night, when I am sure he is home and rested.

I have tried to withdraw, but whenever I do, he will start up a little conversation and my heart would start beating faster. I guess I will have to move on if our conversation tonight doesn't go well.

My heart would start beating faster I can tell the love you had for him was deep, I have felt this way before.

Toks2008:


Don't move on yet but just ignore him for good and i mean stop texting or initiating conversation him.

If after like a month he does not wake up then it means he has moved on then you can move on too. Nobody is too busy to have time for the one h/she truly desires.

Truer words have never been spoken

Tripitaka:


Out of Nairaland's 2million users, about 1,500,000 are alternates; another 400,000 are deactivated or no longer accessible accounts.

Have you ever seen a thread amass up to 30,000 views?

Yes I’ve seen 45k at a time. Champions league second leg Barca and Liverpool

Dear, dis is a painful truth! He is no longer into u( doesn't love u anymore) or he is seeing someone better than u buh doesn't knw how to open up to u to avoid breaking ur hrt. Give him chance 4 sometimes buh always mingle with other guys in order to avoid depression. Just with time, Love will find u again. Love u

namiji2598:
but immediately u knows that he is in abroad u fall for him

Let her be! "Abroad" was probably only a "sealant".

Distance relationship is one of the most difficult things to do. I once had a lady but she had to move out of town cos are family insisted. But I didn't also move cos I was running an Msc programme then. Reluctantly, I consented and that was the beginning of the end.
Not long after she moved, she began to drift. I complained and complained to no avail. She kept giving me one excuse or the other. I persevered but one day I decided to pay her a surprise visit but to my utter amazement she was not pleased. That was a shocker for me. It wasn't far anymore before i discovered 'things had fallen apart' and 'the centre can no longer hold '.
Experience is the best teacher. And as far as I am concerned, if it is distance relationship,to your tent o Isreal! #icannotcomeanddie

karma.

iCauseTrouble:
Oh ye good people of Nairaland..... Should we tell her the truth?

not yet brother, not yet

Predstan:


Yes I’ve seen 45k at a time. Champions league second leg Barca and Liverpool

What if I tell you that lasla's we no dey more than 199,

Adviseasister:


The two of us. I don't know how to go tell them it has crashed.

Why do you feel obligated though? It would be an issue if you rubbed things in their faces. They all have been in been in not perfect situations at some point so you feeling self conscious about a matter that all women have had experienced at some point in their lives makes me wonder just a tad.

Predstan:


Yes I’ve seen 45k at a time. Champions league second leg Barca and Liverpool

OK. But you also have to account for Guest viewing and multiple viewing by a moniker. I honestly do not think NL as up to 100k actual users

hello how far?? u don give am puna??

iCauseTrouble:
Oh ye good people of Nairaland..... Should we tell her the truth?

You are so mean.....

move on

czarina:


Let her be! "Abroad" was probably only a "sealant".

Mrs. sealant, come and seal my dick...

Adviseasister:


Please stop judging me harshly, it is making me sad. It was never about abroad. Maybe it was me being jealous, maybe it wasn't flirting actually. Just two people having a conversation.

Ok.

I hope so too. #Honestly


P. S

Our instincts are hardly ever wrong. But then, people differ. All the best maami

Adviseasister:


He isn't a scammer, Ada.

How would you know, do you know anything about his friends or family? very risky. There should be a link in real life, get to meet his family pls

Adviseasister:
Good evening Nairalanders,

I had to create a new moniker for this, but I believe my guy will know this is for him.

Sometime last year I received a PM from a nlder. After going through his posts, I was pleased and we started talking. One thing led to another and we started a relationship. I must confess he is everything a woman wants in a man, he brought out this part of me I never knew existed and he did it so easily. We started seeing a future, I was happy.

Fast forward to February this year, I noticed a decline in communication. I complained and he blamed it on work. It continued and I had to ask what the problem is, he maintained it was work.

By March, things got worse and I have not been able to concentrate at work. I send him voice-notes and he responds hours later. I send messages and he responds with one word. I must also add he doesn't pick my calls at night anymore, but his NL profile would be seen online, though he won't comment.

I do not know what to do as I can't bring myself to love someone else as I love him. It is a long distance relationship and I do not know what to do. Is it possible he is facing challenges there and doesn't want to share?

Should I wait for him to come around or move on? Has anyone been in this situation before, how did you manage it? I feel so heartbroken.

.


Why are you forcing yourself on an e-man

Wake up

MissRaine69:

Why do you feel obligated though? It would be an issue if you rubbed things in their faces. They all have been in been in not perfect situations at some point so you feeling self conscious about a matter that all women have had experienced at some point in their lives makes me wonder just a tad.

I never rubbed it in their face. Normally I like to keep my relationship very private, but I couldn't hide those gifts you know. They may start mocking me behind my back, saying I wanted to go abroad.

bankolefun:
hello how far?? u don give am puna??

You people should stop this. We are both far away and I haven't given anyone puna. I hope to share that with him, as my husband!

With all my posts here on nairaland, no lady has ever fall in love with me

namiji2598:
Mrs. sealant, come and seal my dick...

You just had to be a goat, right?

Nnaabros:
But how does one love a person they've never met?
You fell in 'love' just from his online post, texts, phone calls?

The word love has been so misused these days that it has become almost meaningless

Don't say much about this cos you truly don't understand.

I met my fiancée on Facebook and fell in love with her within 4 days. Within 16 days, I asked her out and she accepted. We still hadn't seen face to face. We were and still are in different countries and continents. We finally met 9 months later and got engaged.

I can tell you categorically that she's the most amazing friend and partner I've ever had. I've had a previous relationship that lasted 3½ years, I have equally had a number of female friends in the past, but my fiancée beats them all hands down. I am talking from a personal experience.

Adviseasister:


You people should stop this. We are both far away and I haven't given anyone puna. I hope to share that with him, as my husband!

but how can you fall in love with someone you ve not seen physically

Dear OP,

Do not listen to people saying you fell in love because the guy 'is abroad'. However, you brought the matter online and as I am sure you know, you will get all sorts of comments from people with various ages. Select the ones that give you the right advice and let others continue to talk.

As per the issue at hand, there may be many reasons why this is happening. The best pieces of advice I've read here I've pasted below. Follow them.

People that fell in love with someone they met online will understand the feeling lol, I get you sis, chat him up on whatsapp and ask him point blank if he is no more interested, if he reads the chat and doesnt reply immediately, forget it, he's no more interested, if he later replies with one excuse or the other or trying to twist words or situations, forget him and move on, when he sees this thread and starts to chat you up bringing everything back to normal like before, he may be genuine or not, my guess is the later, but play along to see how it goes, but start to withdraw slowly, when the communication fades away once more, which will eventually happen, do not take it to heart, you will hurt but don't let it last long, remove your mind from it and take it as one of life's lessons when it comes to love, you will be fine

l want to believe that his silent treatment and conservative behaviours towards you clearly assume to show sudden signs of disinterest, perhaps he s going through some personal issues such as midlife crisis, mood swing or he is overwhelmed in comatose and maybe "work" like he says. Try and figure out what it might be and help him through it if he allows it, sometimes he just doesn't want to let u into all of his personal baggage of problems and chooses to fix it all on his own without involving you, yet it seems to be affecting your relationship with him.

There is a possibility he has lost interest in the relationship and wants out but does not know how to put it across to u, but something just keeps signaling that he s no longer the same guy he was during the mushy season.

My advice is that u remain reserved and give him some time & space while u work on ur emotions, if he snaps out of it he ll come back to u, else turn unto the next page of ur life.

Let him breathe....

One thing you must understand about guys is they are easily bored and love varieties. The more they get to know about you, the less interested they get. You as a lady must know how to remain intriguing, mysterious, attractive and enticing else you will lose him.

Now the question is who is worth the stress? A patient man who values you enough to stick around a little more hoping you will bring the fire back. Is your man worth it? I doubt that! The fact that he flirts with another woman knowing well that you will see his acts shows he has lost interest in you and no respect either. In as much as men love their freedom, they will never leave the women they love hanging.

My advice: Don't push it, focus on something else. If he is yours he will be back.

As for your colleagues at work, you don't owe them anything. Plus many of them would have gone through similar situations. They should support you not put you down.

Adviseasister:


I never rubbed it in their face. Normally I like to keep my relationship very private, but I couldn't hide those gifts you know. They may start mocking me behind my back, saying I wanted to go abroad.

And so? Relationship didn't work and you don't owe anyone any explanation,case closed. So i don't see why that should bother you.

His actions speak a clear language. Move on but don't expect yourself to love someone else right away. It will take time until you can open your heart again. There is no such a thing as too much work that can be the reason for a breakdown in communication. Even if one of the partners is extremely busy, he will want to hear his girl's voice at the end of the day.