iCauseTrouble:
Oh ye good people of Nairaland..... Should we tell her the truth?

czarina:



You're right... Commonsense isn't always common especially when we're young.

Adviseasister:


I don't bug him during work hours. Notice I said I send and call in the night when I am sure he is home, rested and done with work.

I will focus on other things.

iCauseTrouble:
Oh ye good people of Nairaland..... Should we tell her the truth?

JastSiryin:
But you love Jesus abi and God as well don't you? Have you met any of them personally? Doesn't it mean you and those who practise religion are deluded folks? Abeg what you typed doesn't make sense.

Predstan:


Yeah. I better not travel to meet a Nigerian that we only met online. From Europe to Nigeria? Infact, sex shouldn’t be what you decide to do or not. It should be a natural thing that comes from both hearts.

What I’m trying to say is that. You and I met online, you pressurized me to come see you from Europe to Nigeria. I decided to come and see you because I Love u so much, then you are telling me I can’t have sex... Stupidity and Rubbish. I better not come. It’s possible to come and not have anything but u can’t tell me No sex beforehand

Adviseasister:
He just sent me a screenshot of some posts, asking me if that is what I really think about him. If he is the man described in that post. He is kind of angry the thread made front page and got to this stage. He thinks the advices here are too harsh and would worsen a bad situation.

We have agreed to both go off NL and work things out like two people without the influence of NL.

I am sorry for bringing it here boo. It all started here, so I thought we could also ask for their opinion. You told me we would post out pre-wedding pictures to encourage other Nlders. What happened to all that?

Realhommie:
No wonder.. You're still very young and inexperienced, naive too.. You'll learn.

Nofavorss:
DM me your number for counselling and prayer

safarigirl:


You don't have sense.

When he is done with you, don't come back here and post any nonsense.

Pre-wedding pictures indeed

Adviseasister:

You won't understand how much I want this and it has nothing to do with him being abroad as some people think. When you meet that man who defies all bad stereotypes associated with men. I guess good things don't last. How else do I explain this?

Adviseasister:

It is painful seeing him online.
About 3weeks ago, he was flirting with one female user, while ignoring my WhatsApp messages This is someone that rarely comments. I don't know what to do again.

Adviseasister:

You seem to really understand my position. I will send him a message later at night, when I am sure he is home and rested.
I have tried to withdraw, but whenever I do, he will start up a little conversation and my heart would start beating faster. I guess I will have to move on if our conversation tonight doesn't go well.

Adviseasister:
He just sent me a screenshot of some posts, asking me if that is what I really think about him. If he is the man described in that post. He is kind of angry the thread made front page and got to this stage. He thinks the advices here are too harsh and would worsen a bad situation.

We have agreed to both go off NL and work things out like two people without the influence of NL.

I am sorry for bringing it here boo. It all started here, so I thought we could also ask for their opinion. You told me we would post our pre-wedding pictures to encourage other Nlders. What happened to all that?

czarina:


Cut her some slack na.

Adviseasister:


You seem to really understand my position. I will send him a message later at night, when I am sure he is home and rested.

I have tried to withdraw, but whenever I do, he will start up a little conversation and my heart would start beating faster. I guess I will have to move on if our conversation tonight doesn't go well.

Adviseasister:
Good evening Nairalanders,

I had to create a new moniker for this, but I believe my guy will know this is for him.

Sometime last year I received a PM from a nlder. After going through his posts, I was pleased and we started talking. One thing led to another and we started a relationship. I must confess he is everything a woman wants in a man, he brought out this part of me I never knew existed and he did it so easily. We started seeing a future, I was happy.

Fast forward to February this year, I noticed a decline in communication. I complained and he blamed it on work. It continued and I had to ask what the problem is, he maintained it was work.

By March, things got worse and I have not been able to concentrate at work. I send him voice-notes and he responds hours later. I send messages and he responds with one word. I must also add he doesn't pick my calls at night anymore, but his NL profile would be seen online, though he won't comment.

I do not know what to do as I can't bring myself to love someone else as I love him. It is a long distance relationship and I do not know what to do. Is it possible he is facing challenges there and doesn't want to share?

Should I wait for him to come around or move on? Has anyone been in this situation before, how did you manage it? I feel so heartbroken.

Daeylar:

How is he breaking all the bad stereotypes when he is disrespecting you like the typical Nigerian fuckboy?
1)Ignoring your chats while chatting with someone else?

2)Playing typical stupid games where when he sees you're tired of running after him for the crumbs of his affection and you're trying to withdraw from him, he starts giving you attention again and when you're hooked withdraws so that you start chasing him and the game continues?

He is a typical Naija fuckboy na. What's special there?
The handwriting is on the wall.

Ignore the guy, block and delete all numbers, block all means of communication, social media e.t.c, love yourself a bit more so you won't want a person so much that you would considering sacrificing your self-respect just to be with the person

Next time someone ghosts you. Ghost them back, block and delete and never look back. If you feel down because you feel you lost someone who you loved. Ask yourself how you can love a person who disrespected you so much, ask yourself how you can mourn such a love. Then tell yourself that you're better than that and pick yourself up.


SMH

Wish you the best sha.

mistijude:
And what if he sees this very post of yours and he now try to establish a fake smooth conversation with you tonight in order to keep you on the line and be playing with your emotion?If I were you,I will only say thank you to any comments and allow whatever I would want to do be in my mind.That way,the will of God will be done and God himself will be glorified.NOTE THAT I MADE THIS COMMENT BECAUSE I WAS ONCE IN YOUR SHOE.

Adviseasister:


Please this is not true. I don't want to say I have many options, but I get approached by men daily. The intention wasn't to fall in love, we only wanted to chat, but you know what regular communication with someone can do.

czarina:
The average right?


You may be right, but as we grow older, we have dreams of our own. We realize abroad isn't all there is to having a "good life". We realize there are people here with us who live the life many "abroadians" only dream about.

Na small pikin sense dey make person believe say "abroad" equates a "good life".

Let's not go there.

safarigirl:
the very hard way as it is

23 is not young and inexperienced. At 23, I had enough sense to not be played by anyone.

People are married with kids at 23, a 23-year old female ought to be reasonably sensible. You never see person, you dey talk pretty-wedding.

Maybe she's naive sha, that's why she started a topic to get a man's attention and is now cowering at his 'anger'

safarigirl:
I hate foolishness in my life.

I don't suffer fools. I mean, just read that balderdash, I know 17-year olds smarter than that.

The dude is controlling and potentially abusive, and she has sold her sense for flowers and a few gifts.

safarigirl:


This is a different talk. Your initial post was that you want to travel for kpekus, and that you can't travel if you don't have a guarantee for sex. So, if you were sure of sex, it would be enough incentive for you to travel?

Women travel all the time to visit men they never knew from anywhere, don't they? It's foolish, in my opinion, but they do it.

MariaLavina:
Let him breathe....

One thing you must understand about guys is they are easily bored and love varieties. The more they get to know about you, the less interested they get. You as a lady must know how to remain intriguing, mysterious, attractive and enticing else you will lose him.

Now the question is who is worth the stress? A patient man who values you enough to stick around a little more hoping you will bring the fire back. Is your man worth it? I doubt that! The fact that he flirts with another woman knowing well that you will see his acts shows he has lost interest in you and no respect either. In as much as men love their freedom, they will never leave the women they love hanging.

My advice: Don't push it, focus on something else. If he is yours he will be back.

safarigirl:
I hate foolishness in my life.

I don't suffer fools. I mean, just read that balderdash, I know 17-year olds smarter than that.

The dude is controlling and potentially abusive, and she has sold her sense for flowers and a few gifts.

Nofavorss:
DM me your number for counselling and prayer

SmartestG:

What's a good life about?

safarigirl:


This is a different talk. Your initial post was that you want to travel for kpekus, and that you can't travel if you don't have a guarantee for sex. So, if you were sure of sex, it would be enough incentive for you to travel?

Women travel all the time to visit men they never knew from anywhere, don't they? It's foolish, in my opinion, but they do it.

Adviseasister:
Good evening Nairalanders,

I had to create a new moniker for this, but I believe my guy will know this is for him.

Sometime last year I received a PM from a nlder. After going through his posts, I was pleased and we started talking. One thing led to another and we started a relationship. I must confess he is everything a woman wants in a man, he brought out this part of me I never knew existed and he did it so easily. We started seeing a future, I was happy.

Fast forward to February this year, I noticed a decline in communication. I complained and he blamed it on work. It continued and I had to ask what the problem is, he maintained it was work.

By March, things got worse and I have not been able to concentrate at work. I send him voice-notes and he responds hours later. I send messages and he responds with one word. I must also add he doesn't pick my calls at night anymore, but his NL profile would be seen online, though he won't comment.

I do not know what to do as I can't bring myself to love someone else as I love him. It is a long distance relationship and I do not know what to do. Is it possible he is facing challenges there and doesn't want to share?

Should I wait for him to come around or move on? Has anyone been in this situation before, how did you manage it? I feel so heartbroken.

greypencils:
If it were your sister involved, will you advise her to have sex at first sight? Me as a guy, I know my natural tendencies would scream for sex...I be guy na...but if the girl confirm to my taste...I go prepare marriage tins...you think say e easy to get marriageable girl for yankee? plus whitee, plus Akata, all of them spoil join, serial cheating motherfuckers...and dem no dey clean self...the ones wey clean done get wide kpekus...lol...seriously speaking...but like this girl now, she sounds unspoilt...I am not vouching for her o...i dont know her...So if I am the guy involved, I go still keep myself, depending on the setting wey she bring, if she bring setting say she want sex, omo, na turn off, cos even after I'm gone, she is always going to have that craving and someoneelse go dey there...na so my broda...guys keep coming home to get wives...Akata wife na the last thing wey i go marry...just prepare for heart-attack

ghettochild4u:


Werey re ooooo

Antichristus:



Smell a dead fish. Fake counsellor and prayer warrior.

Adviseasister:
He just sent me a screenshot of some posts, asking me if that is what I really think about him. If he is the man described in that post. He is kind of angry the thread made front page and got to this stage. He thinks the advices here are too harsh and would worsen a bad situation.

We have agreed to both go off NL and work things out like two people without the influence of NL.

I am sorry for bringing it here boo. It all started here, so I thought we could also ask for their opinion. You told me we would post our pre-wedding pictures to encourage other Nlders. What happened to all that?

Biglittlelois:


Jeez girl, @bolded sounds like desperation, I have no words for you anymore, do you....