Adviseasister:


Thanks. I saw him viewing the thread, I am sure we will address all this.

Please, address it and keep us posted. Same thing happened with me and my Fiancee. Real story. We met online in 2014. There was a mutual attraction but because of distance we couldn't see each other. She started the cold shoulder thing your guy is doing now. Pained, I withdrew. We stopped talking for over two years. Suddenly in 2017, we got talking again and this time the chemistry was stronger than before. This time we were in the same country, different cities though. We started off the relationship again and obtained that commitment before we physically saw each other. We have been together for over two years. We have never lived in the same city in fact, right now we are in different countries but our bond is strong, WE TALK EVERY DAY. I intend to make her my Mrs very soon. So if your guy is for real, and really loves you, he has to commit to seeing you. But if time/chance/money won't allow him come visit you, then you have to let him go...It's gonna hurt like hell but it is for the best. If you guys are meant to be, Time/Chance would have its way, you guys will get back together.

czarina:
Spot on.

Babes get carried away with this "abroad" nonsense!

Na una way, lol.. The average Naija girl no won use ear hear abroad based guy, na speed she go take follow am..

One of my girlfriends currently dey disco, serious one ooooo, all coz of abroad guy.. I just dey look her dey laff, coz i know say her eyes go clear las las.

Girls and attention are like butter and bread, even when they know that a guy needs space to be productive, they will still want attention. Sister why cant you just focus your time on other things?

ffo:

Adviseasister, awon snatcher niyen o. Na dem

Snatch who bawo? Abeg, better keep your leprosy-infested fingers to your d**k because constant wanking is why you have few brain cells. Odé

dingbang:
Girls and attention are like butter and bread, even when they know that a guy needs space to be productive, they will still want attention. Sister why cant you just focus your time on other things?

I don't bug him during work hours. Notice I said I send and call in the night when I am sure he is home, rested and done with work.

I will focus on other things.

Kennydoc:


Don't say much about this cos you truly don't understand.

I met my fiancée on Facebook and fell in love with her within 4 days. Within 16 days, I asked her out and she accepted. We still hadn't seen face to face. We were and still are in different countries and continents. We finally met 9 months later and got engaged.

I can tell you categorically that she's the most amazing friend and partner I've ever had. I've had a previous relationship that lasted 3½ years, I have equally had a number of female friends in the past, but my fiancée beats them all hands down. I am talking from a personal experience.

There's ATTRACTION, There's INFATUATION, an there's LOVE.

What you felt initially was an INTEREST or ATTRACTION. or perhaps an INFATUATION. obviously you came to LOVE what you saw in her when you finally met her.

You really can't love something you don't know. You can be attracted to it because it looks or appears good. But it is love that makes you want to keep or remain with that thing after you get to know it better.

It's almost like seeing a beautiful dress in a shop and it immediately catches your eyes because it looks good and ATTRACTIVE. You immediately want it to badly. But when you finally get it and realises it is not of good quality, you immediately want to discard it. On the other hand, if it is beautiful and also durable, that will make you want to keep it.

Adviseasister:


I am 23. I didn't broadcast it, he sends flowers, sometimes lunch to my workplace, that is how they got to know.

No wonder.. You're still very young and inexperienced, naive too.. You'll learn.

czarina:
Maybe she saw him calling every "F" moniker "dear", and tagging them in his blogs.

Maybe, just maybe

Lol dear am not DAT kind of person how many girls I want date. am just friendly

AllenSpencer:
If you have his full name and identify the first name they called him at birth

Also, His mothers name


Picture

I can use all this to help you use him for money rituals

Lmao, you're wicked

safarigirl:


How can you be traveling to Nigeria from Europe because of pussy?

Did they bury your destiny inside the poohsie that you will spend that kind of money for straff? Have hot babes finished in Europe that you will be traveling for intercontinental kpekus?

What is really your problem in life?

I better not travel than travel to meet a lady who I never knew from anywhere. We met online and u want me to come visit u Nigeria. Nigeria Open your Brain. Read the first post

SoapQueen:


Snatch who bawo? Abeg, better keep your leprosy-infested fingers to your d**k because constant wanking is why you have few brain cells. Odé

e pain am!

Realhommie:
Na una way, lol.. The average Naija girl no won use ear hear abroad based guy, na speed she go take follow am..

One of my girlfriends currently dey disco, serious one ooooo, all coz of abroad guy.. I just dey look her dey laff, coz i know say her eyes go clear las las.

The average right?


You may be right, but as we grow older, we have dreams of our own. We realize abroad isn't all there is to having a "good life". We realize there are people here with us who live the life many "abroadians" only dream about.

Na small pikin sense dey make person believe say "abroad" equates a "good life".

Let's not go there.

lefulefu:
but have u seen his pix? if he looks like shrek will u stil love him?

some ladies are just too dull

iCauseTrouble:
Oh ye good people of Nairaland..... Should we tell her the truth?

Please don't CauseTrouble

iCauseTrouble:
Oh ye good people of Nairaland..... Should we tell her the truth?

jaksmillioniar:
Lol dear am not DAT kind of person how many girls I want date. am just friendly

I trust you, boss

greypencils:
That is the advice I will give to my own younger sister

Yeah. I better not travel to meet a Nigerian that we only met online. From Europe to Nigeria? Infact, sex shouldn’t be what you decide to do or not. It should be a natural thing that comes from both hearts.

What I’m trying to say is that. You and I met online, you pressurized me to come see you from Europe to Nigeria. I decided to come and see you because I Love u so much, then you are telling me I can’t have sex... Stupidity and Rubbish. I better not come. It’s possible to come and not have anything but u can’t tell me No sex beforehand

ffo:

e pain am!

I ain’t buggin, u da one who is cappin. I’ve got a whole man for myself, why would I want to snatch someone’s man? You got your 5 minutes of attention from me, now go eat dust!

Elliot2:
Have u ever been so pressed before that you were willing to give the world just to find somewhere to release and when you finally had the chance to offload it,you fell in love with...wait! what did you fall in love with? yeah! That feeling you can't explain is how love works.

That's the misuse of the word I was talking about.

What you're probably describing is an infatuation, or a crush. All those are temporary.

Love is more than just an emotion. It is also a quality. It is not just a passing feeling that gives temporary release. It is a permanent bond that unites two people together.

These days everyone describes their infatuations and crushes as love. Love is a far more superior quality and emotion you feel for someone. It must have a solid base, not just superficial features and traits.

He just sent me a screenshot of some posts, asking me if that is what I really think about him. If he is the man described in that post. He is kind of angry the thread made front page and got to this stage. He thinks the advices here are too harsh and would worsen a bad situation.

We have agreed to both go off NL and work things out like two people without the influence of NL.

I am sorry for bringing it here boo. It all started here, so I thought we could also ask for their opinion. You told me we would post our pre-wedding pictures to encourage other Nlders. What happened to all that?

Adviseasister:


I never rubbed it in their face. Normally I like to keep my relationship very private, but I couldn't hide those gifts you know. They may start mocking me behind my back, saying I wanted to go abroad.

Honey bunny, you're such a baby, and that's why you're so adorable. With a straight face, quit being other people's business and start growing up. Is it losing him or losing face amongst your friends that worry you the most? Urrrghhhh!

SoapQueen:


I ain’t buggin, u da one who is cappin. [b]I’ve got a whole man for myself, [/b]why would I want to snatch someone’s man? You got your 5 minutes of attention from me, now go eat dust!

Has he married you?

Why would someone in love ignore a call? Can you recall how excited you get when someone you really love calls your phone? I can imagine how hurting it is when someone you really love or care for is not reciprocating your gesture. The truth though is, you cannot force someone and love him. People fall in love for various reasons. Love, beauty, boredom, convenience, revenge, just to be accepted by friends, pressure to get hooked etc. I will not bother to ask you why you fell in love with him in the first place, as we cant really place our hands on these things. However, from your post you seem to like him very much, and rightly so. But the thing is, does he like you as well? If he does, i feel he should reach out at least once in 2 days. No mater the amount of work pressure, atleast before you retire to bed, you can make a call to someone you love or atleast send a text. Listen, if you don't forget him now and move one, you will keep dwelling on the what ifs, what is, where did, that sort of line of reasoning and it can be so emotionally draining, upsetting and frustrating. What is he doing now? Who is he with? Where did i get it wrong? Can we ever come back again? Does she really care? My dear, there are a plethora of queries if you ask me. My simple solution to a complex problem is move on. Will it be easy? No. Is it possible? Yes. Atleast you were not engaged! I was, but i survived the drama and trauma. Its so unfortunate for certain reasons, i may not bare it all here, but that your post has all the tale signs of a guy who is not ready to commit. Sorry, i don't know if you are ready to settle, but i take it that most serious relationships should lead somewhere! Perhaps, that may be why you are disappointed that this didn't work. For you to seek help online, it means it really matter to you.
You also raised the issue of being able to love again! Guess what, you will. It all depends on what you really want. You will definitely find love again. Lastly, do not let anther persons failure or inadequacies as it were, distract you from concentrating on your work.
Personally, i found strength in working, when i went through my own crisis. I saw work as an "escape route" for my hurt. It paid off. I discovered a part of me i didn't know existed. Meanwhile, when i was heartbroken, i felt the world is over and does not make sense anymore, then i began to imagine that the things i was looking for, or the qualities i needed in a woman, was not fitted in the right body! Lol, i will meet one with so good morals and manners but unattractive physically or one that is drop-dead gorgeous but simply silly or wayward, and unreal on the inside. Your happiness is a function of what you desire in people. The qualities they posses matters here, but ultimately we should learn to love for more reasons than physical beauty or even so high standards-speaking for myself here. On a final note, i pray may you find love that will give you less stress and worry. Outcome is not in your control. What’s in your control is your effort and your intentions. I hope that you will meet someone else, and if you keep hope alive, anything is possible. Lastly, do not blame yourself that it didn't work out. Cheer up, let go. You will find love again....this time true love that knows no boundaries. I will leave you with a quote that worked for me in 2013, yes 6 years ago. "Someday, We will forget our Hurt, the reason we cried and who caused us pain. We will finally realize that the secret of being free is not revenge, but letting things unfold in their own way & Time, afterall, ­what matters is not the first, but the last chapter of our Lives". -Augusta Tommey. Stay Strong.

czarina:
The average right?


You may be right, but as we grow older, we have dreams of our own. We realize abroad isn't all there is to having a "good life". We realize there are people here with us who live the life many "abroadians" only dream about.

Na small pikin sense dey make person believe say "abroad" equates a "good life".

Let's not go there.

I like your coinage of the word "Abroadians", lol..

And yes i am right when i say the "Average" Nigerian girl..

Finally, na true say na small pikin sense, especially with the females. Generally tho, when you get really close to people you'll realize that a lot of them do not have sense oooo.. That common sense is a flower that doesn't grow in everyone's garden..

ffo:

Has he married you?

MariaLavina:
Let him breathe....

One thing you must understand about guys is they are easily bored and love varieties. The more they get to know about you, the less interested they get. You as a lady must know how to remain intriguing, mysterious, attractive and enticing else you will lose him.

Now the question is who is worth the stress? A patient man who values you enough to stick around a little more hoping you will bring the fire back. Is your man worth it? I doubt that! The fact that he flirts with another woman knowing well that you will see his acts shows he has lost interest in you and no respect either. In as much as men love their freedom, they will never leave the women they love hanging.

My advice: Don't push it, focus on something else. If he is yours he will be back.

You have already nailed it, don't redial again.
The op wants to be sure of a better option btw the two of 'wait for' or 'move on'
@op, pls move on.
If anything positive will come out of ur relationship with him, it will depend on u moving on. Don't even look back at all, keep moving till u r convinced that u need to, keep moving I emphasize.
All these; go and text him, be patient, he might be busy as claimed etc, are just scams, he might even be one of them sending in those messages, those like him or the few with little or no experience, don't be misguided, there is nothing like busy and flirting around in a genuine relationship.
I hope this meets ur senses if u r even genuine on ur own...

Realhommie:
I like your coinage of the word "Abroadians", lol..

And yes i am right when i say the "Average" Nigerian girl..

Finally, na true say na small pikin sense, especially with the females. Generally tho, when you get really close to people you'll realize that a lot of them do not have sense oooo.. That common sense is a flower that doesn't grow in everyone's garden..

I didn't coin that word. I actually saw it used above.



You're right... Commonsense isn't always common especially when we're young.

Love no dy easy o

Adviseasister:
He just sent me a screenshot of some posts, asking me if that is what I really think about him. If he is the man described in that post. He is kind of angry the thread made front page and got to this stage. He thinks the advices here are too harsh and would worsen a bad situation.

We have agreed to both go off NL and work things out like two people without the influence of NL.

I am sorry for bringing it here boo. It all started here, so I thought we could also ask for their opinion. You told me we would post out pre-wedding pictures to encourage other Nlders. What happened to all that?

What right has he got to be angry, he forced your hands in the first place.

At this stage it doesn't matter what anyone says or do, obviously you're sprung.. Best wishes

This is sincerely hoping you won't cry out some other day seeking advice again.

Predstan:


I better not travel than travel to meet a lady who I never knew from anywhere. We met online and u want me to come visit u Nigeria. Nigeria Open your Brain. Read the first post

This is a different talk. Your initial post was that you want to travel for kpekus, and that you can't travel if you don't have a guarantee for sex. So, if you were sure of sex, it would be enough incentive for you to travel?

Women travel all the time to visit men they never knew from anywhere, don't they? It's foolish, in my opinion, but they do it.

Adviseasister:
He just sent me a screenshot of some posts, asking me if that is what I really think about him. If he is the man described in that post. He is kind of angry the thread made front page and got to this stage. He thinks the advices here are too harsh and would worsen a bad situation.

We have agreed to both go off NL and work things out like two people without the influence of NL.

I am sorry for bringing it here boo. It all started here, so I thought we could also ask for their opinion. You told me we would post out pre-wedding pictures to encourage other Nlders. What happened to all that?

You don't have sense.

When he is done with you, don't come back here and post any nonsense.

Pre-wedding pictures indeed