eyinjuege:


I doubt the sensibility of anyone who counts it as a slight to help in the running of his wife's business (which feeds him too btw) and even slapping her publicly on top of it.

The slap was crude, I don't think anyone supports that.
We are trying to understand the circumstances that led to it.

Could there have been a better way for her to ask/demand his assistance out of earshot of everyone else?

Mindfulness:


I have always loved you so much and I love you even more now.

It's always been mutual. Always

MizMyColi:


Gossip you kwa?

When you are here live and direct on the thread?

I thought gossiping about a person is usually in the person's absence?

Which is why i asked if it was going to be in my very before.

MizMyColi:


She asked you a question. Kindly answer. You're deflecting.

Happy new year ma'am

How have you been?

Mindfulness:


It's always the same when one returns from a holiday. I know this feeling very well.

I am the happiest person on planet earth. Remember the sad story I confided in you some time ago? It's been resolved. I have never been happier. I am happier than happiest. I love everyone right now, everyone but Crack.haus.

Awww. Lovely!!
I thought as much. I am so happy for you!

Yaayyyy. Where's that dancing emoji when you need it?

I thought as much.

There's this peaceful and Serene aura I sense when I read from you lately. I felt happy to see you writing again on NL.

Yaaaaaaayyyy...again

MizMyColi:


Your comment is idiotic at best.

What is bad in helping out your wife?

You men and your nonsense egos.

To assist in a business that feeds you and your children. Even if it doesn't feed you, so what?

Why would he slap her? Is she the reason he got scammed?
Even if he feels the dishes is something he can't do, can't he simply ask that they swap positions?

Look at how that one has let his life and the respect he thinks he deserves be based on how much he brings to the house.

It's even good he left the house.

The woman would be silly to go and beg him to come back. He should stay out as long as he likes.

Nonsense and maggi.

Move away pretty fast with all ur slackies b......,I can't stand it....

crackhaus:

Which is why i asked if it was going to be in my very before.

Again, you're deflecting and trying to make this about you.
Do the honours and answer that her question from before, please?

MizMyColi:


Ohhh, I see what this is...

An ego boosting exercise(ish).

If you want me to answer...I mean, since of course you know we (Mindy and I) tend to reason alike, I would.

You know what, scratch that...

Here's my answer.

For fvck's sake...why should that be an issue?
That my husband came into the restaurant and saw how busy it is. Anyway, I trust him. He will want to do everything for me if he can while I just rest.

But since it's not my husband we're talking about here...

Again, I ask...what is the big deal in politely asking my husband to help with dishes?

[s]And even if for some reason, I wasn't polite enough, apparently because I'm under enough stress as it is....[/s]

Why would he slap me?

If he can't swap positions with me or walk out if he's so stressed, it's prolly best that he left the house las las.

Can't deal with nonsense bikko.

@ Politely.. End of discussion

The next line where you're trying to justify being impolite because of stress, will just put you in another hole that i don't want to cover with sand right now.

Justifying rudeness because of stress, yet you can't justify the slap because of stress-induced ego bruising. You're too funny.

bukatyne:


Happy new year ma'am

How have you been?

Same to you ma.

I've been well

Hope you have been fine too?

So good to read from all of you again, including Crackshaus.

MizMyColi:


Again, you're deflecting and trying to make this about you.
Do the honours and answer that her question from before, please?

But this is not about you na, the person I asked the question hasn't answered.

Where you even jump come out from sef?

MizMyColi:


Awww. Lovely!!
I thought as much. I am so happy for you!

Yaayyyy. Where's that dancing emoji when you need it?

I thought as much.

There's this peaceful and Serene aura I sense when I read from you lately. I felt happy to see you writing again on NL.

Yaaaaaaayyyy...again

I have never been more at peace. God knows! A ton has been lifted from my soul and another from my heart. It's like a miracle truly. I thank God all day every day. I have never been more grateful.

I won't stay long on NL. It's just that I am working on a project/promotion so spending a lot of time on my computer. It will be over in a few weeks but you have my email and until then let's have some fun.

crackhaus:

You just dey turn round and round trying to play the two sides and at the same time still be on the fence.

Your summary is you understand the man's plight, so what has not being able to stand the average Nigerian man got to do with it when you already seem to understand the plight of the average Nigerian man?

I am not playing the two sides, I am looking at it from both angles.

The wife is looking at things logically; however I would wager that prior to now, the man did not do chores or whatever.

I understand the man's reasoning however it is absurd to me so the best decision is to steer clear. I mean, some people's are already saying it's disrespectful to ask your husband to wash plates. (let's not deal with the manner she requested now).

I wouldn't marry such and start crying foul later.

Again the man leaving seems to me that they have been having friction on duties traditionally considered the wife's that she longer wants to keep up with.

I would like to hear from the husband if possible.

P.S. : This is why house husbandry would not work generally in our culture. A man takes it as his duty to provide. When he is unable, he is not willing to make himself useful in other aspects. So he wants a wife who would be happy providing and handling domestics at same time.

MizMyColi:


Same to you ma.

I've been well

Hope you have been fine too?

So good to read from all of you again, including Crackshaus.

We are good thanks.

Hahahaha @ the last line.

Mindfulness:


It's always the same when one returns from a holiday. I know this feeling very well.

I am the happiest person on planet earth. Remember the sad story I confided in you some time ago? It's been resolved. I have never been happier. I am happier than happiest. I love everyone right now, everyone but Crack.haus.

I dont know why you tried to hide this exceptional news from me.

You don't want me to feel like a billion bucks?

crackhaus:

@ Politely.. End of discussion

The next line where you're trying to justify being impolite because of stress, will just put you in another hole that i don't want to cover with sand right now.

Justifying rudeness because of stress, yet you can't justify the slap because of stress-induced ego bruising. You're too funny.

Na wa.

And you know she was rude, how?

And even if she was...

Can he keep his filthy hands to himself next time, and either help with the dishes, give a quick retort, or walk out?

Why take out his frustration on her?
Is she the reason for his failures?

I'm happy he left the house..
He should stay out as long as he likes.

Mindfulness:


I have never been more at peace. God knows! A ton has been lifted from my soul and another from my heart. It's like a miracle truly. I thank God all day every day. I have never been more grateful.

I won't stay long on NL. It's just that I am working on a project/promotion so spending a lot of time on my computer. It will be over in a few weeks but you have my email and until then let's have some fun.

I can relate with being on a computer all day and NL serving as a distraction.

It's past midnight and I'm awake because my body clock is yet to adjust...or so I think

Yaaaassss to the fun part.

bukatyne:


I am not playing the two sides, I am looking at it from both angles.

The wife is looking at things logically; however I would wager that prior to now, the man did not do chores or whatever.

I understand the man's reasoning however it is absurd to me so the best decision is to steer clear. I mean, some people's are already saying it's disrespectful to ask your husband to wash plates. (let's not deal with the manner she requested now).

I wouldn't marry such and start crying foul later.

Again the man leaving seems to me that they have been having friction on duties traditionally considered the wife's that she longer wants to keep up with.

I would like to hear from the husband if possible.

P.S. : This is why house husbandry would not work generally in our culture. A man takes it as his duty to provide. When he is unable, he is not willing to make himself useful in other aspects. So he wants a wife who would be happy providing and handling domestics at same time.

You have done enough justice to this, bravo.

crackhaus:

I dont know why you tried to hide this exceptional news from me.

You don't want me to feel like a billion bucks?

You have never been known to be rooting for me in any way or circumstance, en contraire, so my mere responding to you is a big enough compliment, trust it. Don't get used to it.

crackhaus:

But this is not about you na, the person I asked the question hasn't answered.

Where you even jump come out from sef?

I've been around.
Very few reasons give me energy to type on NL.
She's one of them.

MizMyColi:


I can relate with being on a computer all day and NL serving as a distraction.

It's past midnight and I'm awake because my body clock is yet to adjust...or so I think

Yaaaassss to the fun part.

Where did you go on holiday?

MizMyColi:


Na wa.

And you know she was rude, how?

And even if she was...

Can he keep his filthy hands to himself next time, and either help with the dishes, give a quick retort, or walk out?

Why take out his frustration on her?
Is she the reason for his failures?

I'm happy he left the house..
He should stay out as long as he likes.

Couldn't have said it any better. A man taking his frustration out on his wife is really saddening.

MizMyColi:




I've been around.
Very few reasons give me energy to type on NL.
She's one of them.

I feel so proud and uplifted.
Thank you hun. I am counting my blessings and you are one of them.

MizMyColi:


Na wa.

And you know she was rude, how?

And even if she was...

Can he keep his filthy hands to himself next time, and either help with the dishes, give a quick retort, or walk out?

Why take out his frustration on her?
Is she the reason for his failures?

I'm happy he left the house..
He should stay out as long as he likes.

You're stringing... Let me take you back

You are excusing being impolite/being rude and attributing it to stress. I'm telling you to also excuse the slap and attribute it to stress-induced ego bruising, if that's the case.


I dont know if she was rude, you dont know the man's state of mind before engaging her brain either.

Mindfulness:


Couldn't have said it any better. A man taking his frustration out on his wife is really saddening.

I never knew that in a situation like this.. We should be justifying the slap he gave her.

That's bullying.

No one is 100% polite. Sometimes, circumstances make us appear that way....

Is that why we should be slapping one another?

I'm thankful I'm not married to a "Nigerian"

I look at our thought process and twisted value system in this country and I'm short of words...for real.

MizMyColi:


I never knew that in a situation like this.. We should be justifying the slap he gave her.

That's bullying.

No one is 100% polite. Sometimes, circumstances make us appear that way....

Is that why we should be slapping one another?

I'm thankful I'm not married to a "Nigerian"

I look at our thought process and twisted value system in this country and I'm short of words...for real.

I feel like some of the cultural norms and religious dogmas deprived some people of any form of logical thinking and objective reasoning. It's unbelievable what responses I have read on this thread. And I would not even refer to the system using the word value because there is nothing valuable about it and it manifests itself on all levels of society in a very pathetic way.

Mindfulness:


You have never been known to be rooting for me in any way or circumstance, en contraire, so my mere responding to you is a big enough compliment, trust it. Don't get used to it.

Madam I'm just ecstatic you dont love me, if you like dey speak grammar for there.

crackhaus:

Madam I'm just ecstatic you dont love me, if you like dey speak grammar for there.

Have you ever been diagnosed? I mean psychologically?

crackhaus:

You're stringing... Let me take you back

You are excusing being impolite/being rude and attributing it to stress. I'm telling you to also excuse the slap and attribute it to stress-induced ego bruising, if that's the case.


I dont know if she was rude, you dont know the man's state of mind before engaging her brain either.

Again...we do not know that she was impolite or rude.

And if you think it's okay to excuse the man for slapping his woman because she told him to help out whether rudely or not...

Mehn, we should prolly end it here...

Gosh, there are things I don't want to imagine happening to me.

I did not insult you. I did not hold your shirt to your throat. In my state of feeling pressured because I'm working so hard to feed myself, feed YOU and our children, I call out to you to help me with dishes...and your response to me is a slap...for WHAT?

Again I ask, if you can't help my situation at that time, if you can't join me in sacrificing for our family...

Why not walk out?
Why slap me?

Did I insult you or pose any physical threat to you?
Is asking for your help an insult that should warrant your slapping me?

Ndi mmadu sef.

MizMyColi:




I've been around.
Very few reasons give me energy to type on NL.
She's one of them.

I'm happy for both of you, honestly..

I never thought Mindfulness capable of making any real friends on NL. She's always fighting everyone, male and female.

MizMyColi:


Again...we do not know that she was impolite or rude.

And if you think it's okay to excuse the man for slapping his woman because she told him to help out whether rudely or not...

Mehn, we should prolly end it here...

Gosh, there are things I don't want to imagine happening to me.

I did not insult you. I did not hold your shirt to your throat. In my state of feeling pressured because I'm working so hard to feed myself, feed YOU and our children, I call out to you to help me with dishes...and your response to me is a slap...for WHAT?

Again I ask, if you can't help my situation at that time, if you can't join me in sacrificing for our family...

Why not walk out?
Why slap me?

Did I insult you or pose any physical threat to you?
Is asking for your help an insult that should warrant your slapping me?

Ndi mmadu sef.

On a rational level, he understand you are right.
On an emotional level, I smell psychopathic tendencies.

Mindfulness:


I feel like some of the cultural norms and religious dogmas deprived some people of any form of logical thinking and objective reasoning. It's unbelievable what responses I have read on this thread. And I would not even refer to the system using the word value because there is nothing valuable about it and it manifests itself on all levels of society in a very pathetic way.

Thoroughly co-signed.

Even if it's my child, if I beat her out of frustration, why should I justify it?

Would it kill me to accept that I was wrong? That no matter what she has done...it does not justify beating her?

How much more a grown woman?

What temerity?

How can you use negativity to deal with negativity and still be looking for a nod from the universe that you are somehow right for what you did?