₦airaland Forum

Westtimeline:
[s]So who ask you to bring your weakling dad's situation here in the first place.


Do not use you weakling family to advise anyone her, no one gives a flying folk about that.

Like I said, if you want a weakling husband you can't be submissive to. Start searching for him, maybe you will see in the next ten years[/s] .

Shut up

Jeferious:
After you lots are done with your futile and useless arguments, I'm waiting to welcome you all back to reality. The "chauvinist" here who washes his mate's pants, and the "feminist" that cook, wash and sweep for her boyfriend, well-done oh.


Just take your time and make the empty noises, all of you. Data is cheap

What is wrong with doing all that for one's boyfriend?

Olatara:
No! They should close up, then u kidnap and rape girls still blame them for dressing inappropriately. Only few guys are mature, the ones on Nairaland are different breed entirely, loud, immature and abusive.

Sometimes I want to believe that these men are joking with the comments they make on NL but if they are serious I feel for the unfortunate women in their lives.

PhenomenalMorgan:
Feminism advocates equal "RIGHTS AND OPPORTUNITIES" for both sexes...
The purpose of a woman submitting to a Man is to prevent a
tossle of leadership when both are married!! Two captains cant lead a ship... And because God naturally endowed men with qualities that make them more suitable to lead than women...
It is possible for a woman to enjoy equal rights and opportunities as a man and still submit to her husband!!

No the issue of submission is problematic. The major cause of separation in marriages. A man expects a woman to submit, even the best of them finds out she cannot continue and problems begin in the house.

It is not a matter of two captains in a ship. It's about knowing who is better at what and who should take the lead at different times. It should not be a competition. It's about two adults, two human beings with common vision and goals.

Kentucky100:
I sort enjoy this intelligent dialogue, I Lover her boldness and defensiveness

Thank you

TSRC:
No man can control a chimamamda.
Why?
Because she already laid our her system before she got married.
Only a man that can adapt to her system will approach her for marriage.

She claims she does not subscribe to men opening doors for women, evacuating women and children first in times of crisis, and other things favouring women.
So she is a feminist to the core. And obviously deserves her own independence.

The Nigerian ladies in Nigeria on the other hand, wants the benefits of a weaker sex but does not want to be treated and controlled like a weaker sex.

Keep dreaming. The day Nigerian women would depend solely on themselves without expecting a man to spend as a matter of necessity, is the day their liberation begins.

Simple as ABC... You can't give what you don't have. Instead of wasting this time bandying words, and tossing insults or challenging egos, why not make the effort to counsel, instruct, and even enable young women become independent and self-sufficient?

How many self-made, independent-minded women do we have here in Nigeria compared to other countries? Even Ghana and South African women have long taken up the gauntlet, and society is now compelled to bend to their successes.

Look at ladies of supposed class idiotically pursing men like Flavour, Timaya, Wizkid, and Davido... The ones that sexualize themselves on social media too? Did the nasty behaviour of "some" men make most ladies suddenly become bereft of commonsense, dignity, and self worth?

Saudi Arabian, Chinese, and British women did not break cultural sexist barriers by whining online... They educated themselves, encouraged and pushed for individual successes.

Please, have a word with yourselves... Your gender in this part of the world disappoint themselves more than the opposite gender. Thank you.

PeacenLove2:
No the issue of submission is problematic. The major cause of separation in marriages. A man expects a woman to submit, even the best of them finds out she cannot continue and problems begin in the house.

It is not a matter of two captains in a ship. It's about knowing who is better at what and who should take the lead at different times. It should not be a competition. It's about two adults, two human beings with common vision and goals.

Thank you.
Submission in its literal sense cannot be a 100% possible.

TheStrongest:
I don't see the reason for this post..
You don't want to be submissive, fine! You don't need to recruit people to join in singing your song..
Y'all keep preaching about submission and equality but never have you guys taken actions.
You lead by example...
.
.
Abeg make una nor corrupt the good girls wey still dey.. Everyone with their choice of life.
Your post topic is different from the message.
I clicked it because I thought I would learn a thing or two from it, but it's just same old feminist bullshits..
.
.
Live and Let's live.. do your feminism and allow those that don't want to do feminism..
Be unsubmissive and allow those that wants to be submissive to be...
.
.
Seems y'all submissive preachers are insecure or something. We hardly see submissive ladies trying to convince other ladies to be submissive. but everyday we see y'all unsubmissive ranters trying hard to win more souls to your crusade..
.
Live and Let's Live

. You ve said it all.

You finished work.

AmazonTopaz:
I am writing this based on some of the comments I read on this forum by males as regards female issues.

The African society focuses on training females more than males. They teach girls how to be good wives and mothers and they forget to train our boys on how to be good husbands and fathers.


I believe the average Nigerian man (some) are insecure, have low self esteem and lack self confidence hence why they derive pleasure in insulting women

They also misogynistic and have control issues.

. Sometimes I wonder who raised these boys that they believe their manhood is validated by a woman subjecting herself to him and allowing him be the alpha and omega of her life. That is why a lot of them are obsessed with the word "submission", "captain" and "head of the house title".

A man with confidence, high self esteem would not be obsessed in wanting to control a full grown woman in 2019 who basically has the same rights as he does.
It is insecurity, lack of self esteem and self confidence that makes a man feel intimidated by a sucessful and independent woman.It is due to lack of self esteem that they want to feel on top or over a woman.
They believe their gender or sex makes them lord over every woman. They are obsessed with authority, power and do not know how to be leaders.

They feel it is okay to slut shame sucessful women call ladies despicable names and you wonder if these men have sisters or mothers.

They were raised by people with the same messed up mindset and some of them weren't raised the same way but bowed to such behaviour due to pressure. Like you said. Low self esteem. Wanting to fit in with trash.

Ask them why they want control in the form of submission from a woman WHO DOESNT WANT Submission (after all there are women looking for men to be their head but they leave thise women and start attacking others who don't want such a lifestyle) they start repeating like trained parrots that the Bible says a woman must submit to her husband. Or their boring spiel about how a Captain cannot have 2 ships or is it a ship that cannot have 2 captains.
Nothing sensible. No personal reason. Acting like they are being controlled and unable to think things through logically and give a Reason why they want submission so bad, but these are the same men that want a woman to submit to them. These are the same men that want to lead others.

For those who keep insulting women, I don't wonder if they have sisters or mothers, I wonder if they have brains. They don't need to have female relations to know not to disrespect women, they know that, but they go about typing trash anyway. The trash they type about women with full confidence. Any human being with simple common sense would be ashamed to type even half of it. They are extremely foolish and comfortable in that foolishness, yet they raise their shoulders and think they've done something reasonable. It's honestly embarrassing.

They feel it is okay to lord over a full grown adult and that such adult(women) cannot be a partner but a subordinate.

I believe some of these men raised in Nigeria have personal issues that they need to deal with on their own before bringing an unfortunate woman to share in such misery and clean up their mess.

I blame society's double standard that fails to hold men accountable as much as women are held accountable maybe then this self entitlement mentality, the view of women as commodities and superiority complex would be a thing of the past. Our men need exposure and enlightenment. I hope we raise better boys to become good men in the future and not just women alone.

Once again. You have finished work..
The funny part is that some of these men know better but refuse to do better. You'd be shocked to see those who are branded as young boys because they insult women are fully grown men who have just chosen to be stupid.
Besides. Youth is not equal to stupidity. Youth is not an excuse.

Lol, Thank you.Nice submissions these men need help.

Daeylar:
You finished work.



They also misogynistic and have control issues.


They were raised by people with the same messed up mindset and some of them weren't raised the same way but bowed to such behaviour due to pressure. Like you said. Low self esteem. Wanting to fit in with trash.

Ask them why they want control in the form of submission from a woman WHO DOESNT WANT Submission (after all there are women looking for men to be their head but they leave thise women and start attacking others who don't want such a lifestyle) they start repeating like trained parrots that the Bible says a woman must submit to her husband. Or their boring spiel about how a Captain cannot have 2 ships or is it a ship that cannot have 2 captains.
Nothing sensible. No personal reason. Acting like they are being controlled and unable to think things through logically and give a Reason why they want submission so bad, but these are the same men that want a woman to submit to them. These are the same men that want to lead others.

For those who keep insulting women, I don't wonder if they have sisters or mothers, I wonder if they have brains. They don't need to have female relations to know not to disrespect women, they know that, but they go about typing trash anyway. The trash they type about women with full confidence. Any human being with simple common sense would be ashamed to type even half of it. They are extremely foolish and comfortable in that foolishness, yet they raise their shoulders and think they've done something reasonable. It's honestly embarrassing.



Once again. You have finished work..
The funny part is that some of these men know better but refuse to do better. You'd be shocked to see those who are branded as young boys because they insult women are fully grown men who have just chosen to be stupid.
Besides. Youth is not equal to stupidity. Youth is not an excuse.

AmazonTopaz:
Lol, Thank you.Nice submissions these men need help. It is ladyhippolyta88 this is my alternate.

You're welcome.
I know I think I saw a post a long time ago where you told someone this was your alternate.

luminouz:
Donbachi,..PhenomenaMorgan....why in hell are u entertaining these girls na You are wasting ur time with them.

amazontopaz said her mum isn't submissive in her own home to her husband...and BOOM,aunty came out with a lot of emotional drivel,even likened a man's superiority in a home to being able to beat a woman to submission I mean WTF.

The other breakeroficecream came with her own yarn and all I see are twisted facts and I wonder why these girls type as if dem no go marry abi na dem go pay their own bride price ni? These ones love shouting Dont blah blah to men..blah blah and I wonder why she shouts so much about men on her posts...

The fiery/efufulele one came and started dancing crazily on mentions,further muddling and scattering the whole discourse. She barbecued any sense left out of the other feministas points. Why are these girls so confused?

What I've learned is this...NL versions of feminist are worse than chameleons...they want equal right, yet not equal responsibilities... N they are fvckin hypocrites...I won't be surprised if they are in a man's house right now,doing the do,then cooking and cleaning for him too...only to come online and start all these.

Linda ikeji comes to mind when I read these kinda posts.

They simply can't hide the bitterness they have for men, one thing is clear never will man become woman and vice versa. Let them keep fighting a lost battle, I pity the gullible ones that will allow these bitter ranters deceive them and spoil their relationships or even marriage as the case may be

AmazonTopaz:
Thank you.
Submission in its literal sense cannot be a 100% possible.

Human beings whether male or female are literally not built to submit. If we were the blacks would not have fought against white domination. Unfortunately, sexism is way older than racism and perhaps the first battle man has encountered. It is evident in all cultures but way off the charts in places like Africa and the Middle East.

We can only submit in the absence of choice ... for instance high rate of submission in the past was due to the fact women had to rely on their husbands for food, shelter, clothing etc. Society was very close minded towards unmarried women so women would do anything to achieve and keep that status. Presently, situation is not as grave for women as it was then. Naturally, rate of submission will drop.

It will be long, slowly but surely. Women who lived before the time women were given the suffrage would never believe days like this would come where a woman became PMs and what have you.

I believe every woman should be left to choose her path, whoever wants to submit should go ahead and whoever dares to stand up for herself should not be put down. Let's not just take opportunities for granted.

PeacenLove2:
Human beings whether male or female are literally not built to submit. If we were the blacks would not have fought against white domination. Unfortunately, sexism is way older than racism and perhaps the first battle man has encountered. It is evident in all cultures but way off the charts in places like Africa and the Middle East.

We can only submit in the absence of choice ... for instance high rate of submission in the past was due to the fact women had to rely on their husbands for food, shelter, clothing etc. Society was very close minded towards unmarried women so women would do anything to achieve and keep that status. Presently, situation is not as grave for women as it was then. Naturally, rate of submission will drop.

It will be long, slowly but surely. Women who lived before the time women were given the suffrage would never believe days like this would come where a woman became PMs and what have you.

I believe every woman should be left to choose her path, whoever wants to submit should go ahead and whoever dares to stand up for herself should not be put down. Let's not just take opportunities for granted.

spot on thank you.

luminouz:
Donbachi,..PhenomenaMorgan....why in hell are u entertaining these girls na You are wasting ur time with them.

amazontopaz said her mum isn't submissive in her own home to her husband...and BOOM,aunty came out with a lot of emotional drivel,even likened a man's superiority in a home to being able to beat a woman to submission I mean WTF.

The other breakeroficecream came with her own yarn and all I see are twisted facts and I wonder why these girls type as if dem no go marry abi na dem go pay their own bride price ni? These ones love shouting Dont blah blah to men..blah blah and I wonder why she shouts so much about men on her posts...

The fiery/efufulele one came and started dancing crazily on mentions,further muddling and scattering the whole discourse. She barbecued any sense left out of the other feministas points. Why are these girls so confused?

What I've learned is this...NL versions of feminist are worse than chameleons...they want equal right, yet not equal responsibilities... N they are fvckin hypocrites...I won't be surprised if they are in a man's house right now,doing the do,then cooking and cleaning for him too...only to come online and start all these.

Linda ikeji comes to mind when I read these kinda posts.

Fatality!

donbachi:
What is the low esteem there?you just sounded like a total feminist and like a woman that will never be submissive to any man,knowing your grandmother and mother did same to their husbands..as christians,we all know that the bible also talked about women been submissive to husbands.i don't know the point you are trying to prove..stop discouraging other women out there.most men are what you women made of them...it's you that really need to be reoroentations on how to respect and be submissive to men.

I beg to deviate from your submission based on the Bible reference you cited. There's nothing wrong for a woman to be submissive to her husband but it comes with a little price which is 'love'. The same verse which asked women to be submissive to their husband, asks men to love their wives as Christ loves the church. In other words, Submission comes with love.

DMerciful:
AmazonTopaz,

Interesting thread, thanks for creating.
However, my take away is from what bukatyne said about women somehow still train their sons to be like the husband they complain about and never instilling the qualities they want their husbands to have. Isnt that weird but its mostly true perhaps they know those qualities will actually make their sons weak!

Not necessarily weak.

It just shows their desires might be lip service or they are selfish and want others to suffer what they did.

donbachi:
What is the low esteem there?you just sounded like a total feminist and like a woman that will never be submissive to any man,knowing your grandmother and mother did same to their husbands..as christians,we all know that the bible also talked about women been submissive to husbands.i don't know the point you are trying to prove..stop discouraging other women out there.most men are what you women made of them...it's you that really need to be reoroentations on how to respect and be submissive to men.

the op may not even be old enough to marry. The post did not even make any sense. Nairaland is now becoming useless, unnecessary post now make front page. The moderators and Segun are not trying at all

fieryy:
I totally agree with you. A lot of Nigerian men embrace a very toxic form of masculinity. The more misogynist a society is, the more you see this toxic masculinity ish.

The Nigerian society for example puts a lot of pressure on men. Their worth is usually defined by material things like their salary and not their character.
We all know how fickle material things are and truth is majority of men will always belong to either the middle or the lower class.

Since a lot of men also do not know how to communicate properly because it is interpreted as showing weakness, they tend to bundle up all their emotions.
The inability of not being able to handle your emotions and talk about how you feel means you having to eventually let it out in other ways.
This is usually done by hiding their vulnerability as well as insecurities behind anger.

A broke man, who knows society approves of men with big pockets is more likely to complain about gold diggers, even though he doesn't even really have the gold.

It's a man whose worth and respect is tied to his pocket that will feel insecure when he meets an independent lady. He'd rather go for a woman who depends on him financially, so he can complain with his pals about how women are useless and bring nothing to the table.

He's more likely to never date a woman who has more money that him. His excuse? "They can't handle succes".

off point

AmazonTopaz:
I agree are you ready for me to come and pay your groom price? Hope your friends would not call you a weakling?

Hehe lol I love this Gurl, Very funny & fascinating human being!!!

https://www.nairaland.com/5233619/re-some-nigerian-men-low

Next thread... Women & wen should learn from this.. after going through all the comments.. I was able to extract that above

We also have men above 40 who are single and frustrated. Some can't even feed or can't pay bride price. So if a lady is single at 40, what makes it a big deal?

stupidity:
OP I have someone like you. She’s approaching 40 and single.



You can’t sit behind your phone and trying to upturn practices that has been in place since inception.


Ofcourse slut shaming women is bad and if that’s really what prompted you to create this thread, then I’m afraid you have taken nairaland and it’s content too serious.

stupidity:
OP I have someone like you. She’s approaching 40 and single.



You can’t sit behind your phone and trying to upturn practices that has been in place since inception.


Ofcourse slut shaming women is bad and if that’s really what prompted you to create this thread, then I’m afraid you have taken nairaland and it’s content too serious.

So what if she is single and 40?

LilMissFavvy:
We also have men above 40 who are single and frustrated. Some can't even feed or can't pay bride price. So if a lady is single at 40, what makes it a big deal?

Frustration has nothing to do with being single or married. There are plenty of couples out there who are miserable in their marriages.

Please subscribe to my channel by clicking on the link



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=51Fm1ybgDkc

AmazonTopaz:
Of course idin Amin, Adolf hitler, stalin and others were women and great leaders.
Hitler must have been a great leader to give us world war 2.

Women make good leaders as well.
Leadership is acquiref or inbuilt on any individial not gender based.

Biblical Eve did WORSE than Hitler, Amin, Abacha, Ghadaffi, Herod, Nebuchadnezzar put together. by adam equalizing her leadership/ mental/spiritual capacity with his, see d mess he put all of us in, thank God for Jesus. even today, eve wont just stay in the other two rooms. Nigerians striving with biblical commands since Adam, today it's submission, tomorrow its tithing. Talking about the elders a bit, in Napoleon's re-organization of France, in the Code Napoleon; he made the authority of the woman in society and family far more inferior to that of man having considered their low brainpower but am sure we will still consider ourselves far more intellectual, strategic, and greater than Napoleon.

This your premise to this your argument is just baseless.

Na stupiid guys get time to carry woman matter for head.Some go to the extent of opening a thread about it, i find that outright silly and a waste of time.

AmazonTopaz:
@bold, I am not them and my mom is not a submissive type and my parents are still together. My dad is not a control freak.
I never claimed to be a christian neither did I bring religion in my post.
How many times have you told your fellow men to love their wives to the extent of dying for their wives you are only comfortable telling women.Maybe if men took apostle paul's instruction they would be better husbands.
The definition of submission cannot be literally applied in today's world because during the time apostle paul instructed women to be submissive slavery was permissible women had little or no rights so it was okay to easily submit but today women have rights are educated, have choices etc so it would definitely be hard to submit in the literal sense.

stop saying trash on nairaland forum, go get yourself a man.

Isokehn:
Biblical Eve did WORSE than Hitler, Amin, Abacha, Ghadaffi, Herod, Nebuchadnezzar put together. by adam equalizing her leadership/ mental/spiritual capacity with his, see d mess he put all of us in, thank God for Jesus. even today, eve wont just stay in the other two rooms. Nigerians striving with biblical commands since Adam, today it's submission, tomorrow its tithing. Talking about the elders a bit, in Napoleon's re-organization of France, in the Code Napoleon; he made the authority of the woman in society and family far more inferior to that of man having considered their low brainpower but am sure we will still consider ourselves far more intellectual, strategic, and greater than Napoleon.

Bible
Men have been the problem of the world.

dboss12:
stop saying trash on nairaland forum, go get yourself a man.

I never said I was looking for one.

Thanks, you're awesome.

bukatyne:
Not necessarily weak.

It just shows their desires might be lip service or they are selfish and want others to suffer what they did.