You have really tried and gone far with the lady with maturity. I want to make the following inputs if you intend settling with the lady.
Seat the lady down and reason together on your present issues - you need to really pour out your mind to her.If you don't address this out now, it may become more complex to sort out later.
You need to have multiple investments personally, in money market, landed properties and others that would be regularly returning some monies to your account.
Try and establish her as much as your finance and ability could go so you won't be continually bothered about her finances. However, you cannot continue to be the survival means of her mother too - you need to really define this - you man consider regular token or petty business for her.
Then, please try and get less engrossed with other people's issues. Make a budget/have in mind how much you can monthly assist people with and be consistent with it. Plz note that U cannot satisfy everybody.
Plz don't heavily invest in any lady before you marry her, if not, you may later have reasons to leave her or the other way round.

you're not broke if you can generate 100k plus for fees

I created this account just for this purpose and I might have to deactivate it and follow this thread with with my main account just for privacy reasons. Thanks for your understanding.

I actually like this girl, we've been together for almost 4 years now, I'm in 400 level currently, I'm from a poor family to be honest and this girl's family is far worse than mine financially. She is in this university too, since she didn't have her own place to stay, we were staying together. Our school fees here is 6 figures, since my family is not good financially, I had to do some online stuffs that bring money so that I can pay my bills and assist my family.

I was completely broke when we met she used to give me little little support financially, if she had until I had my own money. I actually didn't know she didn't have anybody to support her because she lied her uncle was the one supporting her until I found out that it was her ex boyfriend who was helping her. She confessed everything and the situation with her family when I discovered they met (that happened last year) I cancelled everything but later reconsidered after thinking it through.

The major problem is that I'm paying my own fees which is in 6 figures as well as hers ( which is also 6 figures), support my family, any money I give her she sends straight to her mother, sometimes I also have to assist her mother.
I know this is not her fault but I don't think I can move forward like this, taking full care of her, supporting my family, and having to also assist her mother. So I told her to go.
I just don't understand why everybody just has to depend on me I'm not even 25 yet.
Somehow I feel really bad because we together when things started going well small small but most of my guys have really gone far but I just keep moving up and down. It's not that I'm doing badly but I just feel there's too much weight on my head, the worst part of it is that all these people are very good people I just don't know what to do.

I know some people might think I'm one of the mugus out there who sponsor girls with the hope of marrying her or someone who tries to buy a girl but I don't give girls money, I prefer giving it to a guy because I feel guys appreciate and understand better but her case is kind of different mainly because we both somehow struggled together until things got better
I don't know if I should just let her go or accept her like that

I don't know if it's a good idea to put this on front page but I'd like it to be more visible.

This is hard... She is a good person but... You still have to Japa!!!
Your progress should be of priority to you..
May you not experience heartbreak in the end!!!

madgoat:


You are obviously not a good and genuine person. Dont worry disappoints are waiting for u in future just as you are about to let this girl down. I cant imagine how heartless humans can be. Is money everything in life? U have small money now and u are behaving as if u have arrived. You can't sacrifice it and help the girl and her family till she herself also graduates and gets something doing. When u had nothing, did u die? Now you have small money and can afford to assist but greediness will not allow u reason right. Just continue, ur karma is waiting for u in front. You are obviously a yahoo boy. The greed is really manifesting in you already.

I think you should try and empower her so she can start her own business. With the business she can support her mum and siblings. This will take a whole lot of stress off your shoulders

Davash222:
Your school fees is 6 figures. What's 6 figures

morethan hundred thousand

Sterope:
Isn't it sweet that these guys have selective blindness? They conveniently missed the part where she used to help out before he started his hustling.

But she got the money from her "ex" na though she lied that an uncle was sponsoring her!!!

Red flag

I created this account just for this purpose and I might have to deactivate it and follow this thread with with my main account just for privacy reasons. Thanks for your understanding.

I actually like this girl, we've been together for almost 4 years now, I'm in 400 level currently, I'm from a poor family to be honest and this girl's family is far worse than mine financially. She is in this university too, since she didn't have her own place to stay, we were staying together. Our school fees here is 6 figures, since my family is not good financially, I had to do some online stuffs that bring money so that I can pay my bills and assist my family.

I was completely broke when we met she used to give me little little support financially, if she had until I had my own money. I actually didn't know she didn't have anybody to support her because she lied her uncle was the one supporting her until I found out that it was her ex boyfriend who was helping her. She confessed everything and the situation with her family when I discovered they met (that happened last year) I cancelled everything but later reconsidered after thinking it through.

The major problem is that I'm paying my own fees which is in 6 figures as well as hers ( which is also 6 figures), support my family, any money I give her she sends straight to her mother, sometimes I also have to assist her mother.
I know this is not her fault but I don't think I can move forward like this, taking full care of her, supporting my family, and having to also assist her mother. So I told her to go.
I just don't understand why everybody just has to depend on me I'm not even 25 yet.
Somehow I feel really bad because we together when things started going well small small but most of my guys have really gone far but I just keep moving up and down. It's not that I'm doing badly but I just feel there's too much weight on my head, the worst part of it is that all these people are very good people I just don't know what to do.

I know some people might think I'm one of the mugus out there who sponsor girls with the hope of marrying her or someone who tries to buy a girl but I don't give girls money, I prefer giving it to a guy because I feel guys appreciate and understand better but her case is kind of different mainly because we both somehow struggled together until things got better
I don't know if I should just let her go or accept her like that

I don't know if it's a good idea to put this on front page but I'd like it to be more visible.

I really didn't read and digest the story
But you both are already in 400 level, why not teach her how to fish too..
Teach her how to make her own money..

Since when did being poor be a flaw..
Anyway, if the wahala tire you... Break up and move on


P. S
Both of your families are poor yet your school fees is in six figures...

.

Hmm


Its not age that make you mature, it's responsibility.
Responsibility has visited you then, you have to take it up. Do not forget she has also been of help before.

Who knows maybe it's because of her that you still have small penny with you.

This online thing you do can't you teach her also?

"I had to do some online stuffs that bring money so that I can pay my bills and assist my family."

"hope you haven't come again with fraud with this your online stuffs?"

this is how they started with online stuffs before US FBI arrested them in the US.

millions is 7 figures actually.
100k plus is the fees
I already said I went into online stuffs coz of it. I wouldn't want to go into details

I don't think you should send her away,you guys have come a long way,why not give her money to start a business, could be online..so she too can start making money and supporting her family...she is a lady,so she should know the business to do.

I really appreciate your advice but the thing is that you don't get the full picture because I didn't go into details. The school fees was increased when we were already in school. I did not want to go to another school and start from scratch because I really don't believe in school I was begged and persuaded by my family, including her to go to university because my jamb score was insanely high that time. The thing is that all the people who stood by me then and supported me are all completely dependent on me now and I feel I'm too young for that kind of weight so I'm having a serious conflict between my conscience and common sense. I can't leave my family so that's completely out of the question.

sounds like someone schooling in AAU.??

Wisdom will come to play.. From the above I think he loves her.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=orjZjY7kp-Q

If you can just continue and hope for a better tomorrow after all you are almost done. Maybe forget about the side of her parents and concentrate on her school only

sanusi44z:
You make me laugh, and you also make me remember something.

What's that?

You don't know there are women you will meet and a higher level of poverty will creep into your life.

Any woman who you meet and things start getting better for you has a future with you, though not all.

But it follows the passage, " He who findeth a wife findeth a good thing and obtaineth FAVOR from the Lord.

You met the girl and started seeing favor.and you now want to dump her. I laugh.

You don't know some women come with poverty.

Don't ever compare yourself with anyone.

I honestly don't know because we were together for over a year while I was completely broke.
I already told her to leave, she has left, I mean traveled back home. She left the phone I gave her. I gave her a phone when I bought a new one I discovered that she left the phone and only took her old one

Bros if I were you and i have the means,I will keep supporting her not because I am expecting anything from her but because I derive joy knowing that I was able to put smile on someone face.We get our rewards in this life one way or the other. Have you asked yourself why you were able to make it online? or even alive?,many started the same business but failed.A lady who works in a mama put in one of markets with a wage of 500 naira is now in Canada. Nobody knows tomorrow, if man didn't reward good deeds,God will surely do.

big man!!! u guys are almost done from school na...if u love her keep her...stop giving d family money

Gone through your message
But, my little contribution is to beg you to see her through school since you got the capacity right now to do that without having any payback mentality from her.. Don't abandon her now, but stay with her through this, because u said u guys are already in 400l..after then u cud disengage and move on with your life n family if you feels so.. Goodluck

There are a lot of ladies out there doing things for themselves, I'm also a lady and I work hard to feed myself in school, can't remember the last time my parents sent me money cos they are also managing, to an extent I can say I'm okay. Let her find something to do cos the burden is going to be too much for you.

Check my signature

I really appreciate your advice but the thing is that you don't get the full picture because I didn't go into details. The school fees was increased when we were already in school. I did not want to go to another school and start from scratch because I really don't believe in school I was begged and persuaded by my family, including her to go to university because my jamb score was insanely high that time. The thing is that all the people who stood by me then and supported me are all completely dependent on me now and I feel I'm too young for that kind of weight so I'm having a serious conflict between my conscience and common sense. I can't leave my family so that's completely out of the question.

Thank God that people depend on you and you can actually help them, its a privilege. On the girl, if you think you can't cope anymore, politely explain things to her and do the ones u can leaving out the ones u can't.

Cocotrendz:

Accept her bro. Is your conscience not flogging you?

Been there, she would leave him later

stupid post.....
you no get anytin and u dey pursue woman.... Nawa o, you knw even knw ur level at all.... just for d sake of i have a girl friend bah... ur eyes go soon open...



No leave woman work hard then after u don get money you find woman

EdoBoy90:
"I had to do some online stuffs that bring money so that I can pay my bills and assist my family."

"hope you haven't come again with fraud with this your online stuffs?"

this is how they started with online stuffs before US FBI arrested them in the US.

It's amazing how Nigerians associate online business with fraud. I don't know what the guy is doing online, but one thing I know is that anybody can legitimately make a living online, working from the comfort of his home. Some even get exceedingly rich (Linda Ikeji, for example). The possibilities online are endless.

I

I honestly don't know because we were together for over a year while I was completely broke.
I already told her to leave, she has left, I mean traveled back home. She left the phone I gave her. I gave her a phone when I bought a new one I discovered that she left the phone and only took her old one

Bros, u are still in sch. Therefore, focused on ur self, invest in urself, develop ur self to be buiz minded and career minded after school.


I can read through your mind that ur interest lies on focusing on ursef and family... Ur interest doesn't lie.
Act accordingly to ur interest.

Ensure u pass out well, if 400l is ur final year.

Once u finally completed ur study, let the help or friendship ends there. Untill she developed her self to be independent.

Make it a negotiations thing 50/50... If she desire you after a short break.

That's why some feel bad to have a female child... Born with dependence mentality is part of their make up.

jovialswag:
whst type of online stuff if its legitbi will like to learn

Na yahoo he dey do

lol bro it's not like that but I didn’t want to go into too much details.
Look, I am super careful. The Okafor law wasn't what happened there I'm not someone you can deceive easily. Before I allowed her that kind of access into my life I have already scanned her totally.
I bugged her phone right from day one, had access to all her calls, I mean audio files log her WhatsApp in on my phone through WhatsApp Web and she did not know for straight 3years. As in for straight 3 years I knew almost everything about her both the ones I was not told. I knew they were talking but never knew they were ex before the I was talking about. They never talked about seeing because the guy was married they just greet and ask after their respective families and maybe beg him for money. The day she went to see him I knew, that was when she confessed that they were ex.

I would love to learn this bro

BamiTii:
There are a lot of ladies out there doing things for themselves, I'm also a lady and I work hard to feed myself in school, can't remember the last time my parents sent me money cos they are also managing, to an extent I can say I'm okay. Let her find something to do cos the burden is going to be too much for you.

Check my signature

What exactly do you do in school?

lol bro it's not like that but I didn’t want to go into too much details.
Look, I am super careful. The Okafor law wasn't what happened there I'm not someone you can deceive easily. Before I allowed her that kind of access into my life I have already scanned her totally.
I bugged her phone right from day one, had access to all her calls, I mean audio files log her WhatsApp in on my phone through WhatsApp Web and she did not know for straight 3years. As in for straight 3 years I knew almost everything about her both the ones I was not told. I knew they were talking but never knew they were ex before the I was talking about. They never talked about seeing because the guy was married they just greet and ask after their respective families and maybe beg him for money. The day she went to see him I knew, that was when she confessed that they were ex.

Guy tell me this bugging thing na.